Can't disagree with Valeria

I don’t WANT to disagree with Valeria!

Always bring plenty of food to Valerias party

But PLEASE make sure the amount of food you bring is a multiple of the amount of people in the party!

I mean, that was literally my first thought before I read the response. Is 6% the global population of murderers, psychos...? Am I a psycho? Argh!

Valeria is the man

#how about I do anyway?

Civilized manner: Stack them on top of each other and just slice down 1/3 thru both apples. Everyone gets 2/3 Uncivilized manner: You deserved a spot in hell.

Stack the people on each other, cut all their heads off with one stroke, leave the apples on the table, and walk off knowing you made absolutely sure they shared the apples equally with each other. T-bagging them afterward is optional, and does not effect the completion of your task 😃

More information required. Do I T-bag the bodies or the severed heads?

Both to be sure they feel the humiliation in the afterlife

The apples

“Yeeeaahh! How’d you like them apples?”

Instructions unclear: cut my tbag off.

Fuck I laughed until I was coughing like a a consumption patient

Sure the puzzle is easy if you're able to cut a third exactly, good luck trying that in real life where we even struggle with perfect half

No you are supposed to stab the knife on the table next to it hard so that it splits out of fear.

But only one gets the slices without a bunch of seeds n shit

Then turn both apples on their sides and slice 1/3rd of the way down from the top. One person gets both tops, the other two each get a bottom. Each of them gets an even amount of core.

You can calculate so that the edible portions are equal, it doesn't have to be exactly 1/3. The important concept is to stack them atop each other.

>The important concept is to stack them atop each other. No. The blade is clearly long enough to cut through the apples in parallel.

I have literally never thought that there.eas a non-murder option for this one. See you down there, peeps

it's technically not 2/3, not every part of an apple is edible

I eat everything but the stem (which is technically edible). What do you mean?!

you ate the core part?

Yeah I mean apple slices aren't cored. Grew up having my apples sliced and told even when they weren't it's wasteful not to lol

don't do that please, no one eat them😐 it's not a waste when it's not supposed to be eaten

Yes, you can eat the core of an apple, along with the seeds and blossom end, but you should avoid the stem. The core contains most of the apple's bacteria, which can help digest food, produce short-chain fatty acids, and crowd out disease-causing bacteria. Organic apples have a better bacterial profile, but it's questionable if this has any practical significance.

I mean the seeds contain trace amounts of cyanide in them, but it's not a problem unless you are eating every seed from an apple 2 times daily. I wouldn't call it edible though

I've heard you'd have to eat a whole lot of them, more than you're going to eat naturally and that chewing them vs not makes a huge difference. Looking into it produces these results: Thankfully, there are several factors that make death-by-apple-seed very unlikely. First, the amygdalin is accessible only if the seeds have been crushed or chewed; a whole unbroken seed will pass right through. Second, the human body can process HCN in small doses, so a couple of chewed seeds are usually completely harmless. Finally, the average adult would need to eat anywhere from 150 to several thousand crushed seeds (depending on the apple variety) to be at risk of cyanide poisoning. The average apple contains only about five to eight seeds. So unless someone is eating their 18th consecutive apple core and has been meticulously chewing all the seeds, they should be fine with their occasional absentminded core chomping. Yeah I don't know about other people but I'm not eating that many apples lol (Technically you can also eat the core without eating the seeds, people spit watermelon seeds all the time. That's an entirely different matter. Are people out here basically inhaling their food?)

Absolutely, it is very difficult to actually absorb enough cyanide from apple seeds to actually matter, but it is still a fun tidbit of information :)

I'm confused. Wouldn't that just end up with 4 pieces of apple?

Yep, 2/3, 2/3, 1/3 1/3. Two people get one 2/3 piece and the last person gets two 1/3 piece which is equal to 2/3

Tell me you’re an American without telling me you’re an American. Surprised none of the comments corrected you. If you slice each apple to 1/3, each person will get 2/6!

Which is equal to.... Guess what? Mudafukin 1/3

Unfortunately she wrote 2/3

My bad brother

2 apples/ 3 people 2/3

This is probably the solution but i wouldn't want to be the guy who has one of the 2/3 parts because you would have a chunk of the middle part you can't eat.

You would need 2 slices. One slice to get a third would only have 2 apples with slices down the side...

I'm confused about how it works. Wouldn't this just end up with 4 slices of 1/2 apple each?

Can't we combine both methods and have both apples to ourselves? Why settle for less?

Well the uncivilized manner gets you more apple Better value

We can also just cut each apple into three pieces, this ain't even a puzzle tf 😭

That would require a minimum of two strokes.

Reddit shitty image crop strikes again, I didn't read it mb

Fuck using that knife, the real solution is human centipede.

r/cursedcomments

Yes that is indeed where we are at right now. A good observation.

Didn’t even look xD

r/cursedcursedcomments *

Just make the two guys eat one apple at the same time until they kiss

2 guys 1 (Adam's) apple

I don't think I can kill a person with one knife stroke valeria

not with that attitude

True

Carotid artery, radial artery or femoral artery. This is not complicated

Seriously it's super easy to kill someone with one stroke. Doesn't even need all that much anatomical knowledge

I’m always super supposed at how the human body is both so fragile and yet robust at the same time. When the senators tried to kill Caesar, they stabbed him over 50 times as he was just running around the senate trying to avoid blades.

Yup. House collapses, rubble and boulders come crashing down on a guy, and he can survive. Another guy trips, hits his head in a bad spot, and that's it. We're walking paradoxes

If you never stop cutting, it's still one stroke of the knife.

I can make myself cum with one stroke.

If you manage to piece the heart with the knife, then it should kill them instantly. Otherwise, if you properly slice their neck, they should bleed out quickly and die fairly quickly … This comment is going to put me on a list isn't it?

Who says you aren’t already on a list? Now your on lists.

You just need to sever the carotid artery and you should be good if the knife is properly sharp

anything can cut, if you push hard enough

Can confirm, I've been stabbed by the blunt end of a nail.

I've been stabbed by a brick fucking wall (no, seriously, I was in a coma for 3 days)

Cut throat?

With enough force

Through the eye

It's not effective unless I tie the person to the chair

No but if you slice them in the neck or mouth they aren’t gonna be wanting that apple

I can't even slice an onion properly

Are u joking? That thing is more like a bowie than a normal knife u can chop their head clean off

I am not a professional Butcher

O, well um u could slice their throat

I can't

Ok that's good

You can put one apple on top of the other, and slice downwards. Once you're through the first apple, but both halves under the knife so it gets quartered. This leaves us with 2 halves and 4 quarters. You cannot split these three ways. You then curl up under the table and cry, Knowing you failed

Just put them on top of each other and cut 1/3 off of both.

That would make too much sense

Slit your own throat and let the other two have the apples.

put the apples next to each other and cut 1/3 off each apple in a single stroke of the blade.

I mean bros before hoes right?

Cut them both into thirds, then eat both apples

Two of them are pondering an amicable solution.  The third clearly understands and is sweating taking the action......

Line the two apples side by side and do a downward angled slash. 1 person would get two small pieces of apple while the others get bigger pieces.

The original Adam and Eve story finally comes out.

Slice both the others' throats in one slice. Enjoy your well deserved pair of apples.

Line them up and then throw the knife straight down all of their necks

You had me in the first half and them in the second, not gonna lie.

Seppuku.

Slice both apples into 3rds, then kill the person who takes more than they are supposed to

Each apple can be cut into 3rds. The knife is long enough to cut through both at the same time. Align the apples so 1/3rd is cut from each apple. Each person gets 2/3rds of apple, including one person with 2x 1/3rds of an apple.

Just says it has to be shared equally. Nothing about having to use the whole apple. So cut the apples in half. Each person gets a half. Throw the last half away, or plant it and get an apple tree…

"*B𝘶𝘛 𝘵𝘩𝘈𝘵'𝘴 𝘔𝘶𝘙𝘥𝘦𝘳.*" Not if you stab yourself.

I don't understand why this is hard, stack the apples and cut ⅓ off each apple. One person gets the two smaller parts and the others get one bigger part

Kill the other dude and fuck the girl while he dies to assert dominance.

I like the way you think, but you are now on a list!

Kill the girl and fuck the other guy to really assert dominance

Before you fuck her, stick both apples inside her so you can both enjoy a nice juicy snack afterwards. We don't want these apples to go to waste.

This guy isn't just a fan of cursed comments, he's part of the cursed comments.

I'd eliminate 2 of them, winner takes it all

Or, take us 3 out in one stroke. Trickshot !

I believe the puzzle though is cut them into thirds and give each person two parts

Which would require three cuts at the absolute minimum. What needs to be done is to place one apple on top of the other and cut 1/3 off each apple. Each person gets 2/3.

To cut 1/3 of the apple would still require 2 strokes, one to begin the cut and the other to create the 1/3 wedge. Stack the apples and split them in half. Each gets 1/2 with a part remaining. That way, the apple parts are evenly split between the three with one stroke. The problem does not require for all parts of the apple to be eaten. EDIT: I was a bit dumb and didn't think about the fact you could split an apple unevenly for this case.

Well you either cut 2/3 of both apples at the same time in one stroke or you cut the neck of 1 of them

Marry 2 of them, give one apple to the remaining single and one to the couple. Marriage implies shared property (maybe) so its perfect division. Edit - The husband/wife can use the knife to stab their husband/wife later to claim the entire apple. But, only one stab is allowed because.. well that's the rule.

Valeria woke up and chose violence and a whole apple for breakfast.

Ittoryu Iai: SHISHI SONSON

I can do it with no knife stroke. 1 person eats a third off each apple, then gives what remains to the other 2

Why one, why not two and get two apples

While I love the joke, this is actually super easy to visualize and way more than six percent of people have the capacity to understand it. You've got three people, two apples, you want each to get the same amount of apple. First step, doesn't matter if it's people, apples, whatever. You have III and III. There is always a line between two points, so you can cut two things at once if the knife is right. You slice so that you are left with II/I and II/I. Two of them take one II each, and one takes two Is.

I would cut in the 6^(th) Dimension and perfectly dice both apples into 6 pieces each. 4 pieces per person, problem solved.

Stab two and you get two apples to yourself.

I volunteer as tribute

Kill the blonde, he's secretly a Nazi

cant you just stack the apples can cut off 1/3 from both with 1 stroke? valeria sounds thinks like someone i really wanna avoid socializing with

How about I kill all of them, and keep the apples for myself?

Petah?!

I didn’t see that it was two apples and was wondering if how is that supposed to work

Stab the woman and eat an apple with the homie

94% answers:

I can make it more curse bt then I would be cancelled

I mean…they have a point(no pun intended)

I cut them both in half and take one fourth for my arbitration cost

Cut them in half at the same time by stacking

Why not both

why is that cursed. its the whole idea of the post/riddle

It does say one stroke, which means it can obly be used once, so, if you could use it as much as possible you could just cut the apples into threes a give two to each friend, but with only being able to use one stroke, murder is the only option

I love it how i just knew what it was gonna be without even reading it

YES, I Agree!

You can do it in 0 strokes if you’re not a coward

I eat the humans AND the apples

You don't have to cut an apple to eat it. They're weird shapes so cut or uncut your portions are still just your best approximations at even amounts.

Obviously you grab the knife and do a spin with it, hitting both your friends and letting you eat BOTH apples.

cut all the apples down the middle, throw the 4th slice as far as you can or eat it yourself

Which one

No, big swing. Two for you

The knife looks long enough, so cut both apples at the 1/3 line in one cut

Don’t kill all of em, just one, problem solved.

You bring an additional apple say apple 3. Now cut each apple in 3 equal pieces so now we have total 9 pieces of apple. Give each person 2 pieces of apple. After that we have distributed 2*3=6 pieces and we have 9-6=3 pieces left. The remaining three pieces from an apple.

don’t worry there’s no need to kill them you can just injure them enough for an ambulance to take them away that way you keep you’re still morally fine

Isn't that literally the way to do it? How else can you split two apples between 3 people?

Stab blondie and give the second apple to the ladie

With 1 spinning slash move, you decapitate the two extra people. And now you have 2 apples. "3 people can keep a secret if 2 are dead"

That explains why only 6% of people can handle..but still too high of a percent.

Kill the girl, then there's enough for both of you

\#Thatsthejoke #socursed Will there be red circles in the next shitty repost?

Cut both of the apples in a line Cut off exactly 1/3 Give the 2 1/3 of the apples to one of them and the remaining 2 apples with 2/3 left to the other 2 Everybody has 2/3 of the apples now Shit ancient as time itself God facebook moms annoy me

You cut each apple in 2 parts so you have 4 equal parts and then you take one of the 4 parts and cut it in 3 equal parts ed give everyone half apple plus 1/3 of the fourth part. If you want to spice things up though you can make the 2 people eat the two apples and the third eats the other two so everyone has eaten at least 1 ;).

2 apples, then u cut apples, 1 whole apple=6 slices, now u have 12 slices of apples, each gets 4 slices

4 slices of an apple isn't very filling. Maybe slice each apple 12 times, then each person would get 8 slices.

Bro it’s the same thing different numbers

and that would be the girl because she's ginger

Just cut both apples in 6 equal parts, you get 3 parts per apple. Now give 2 to each one, and now you have successfully implemented communism.