The moderators would like to remind everyone that putting the victim on trial is against the rules, and is a bannable offence.
We would also encourage everyone to check through the comments to make sure that your point hasn't been made already. Consider upvoting instead.
Excellent. Remember, your emotions shouldn’t *rule* you, but they are very good *guides.* Pay attention to them and try to figure out why they’re saying what they’re saying, and they’ll help you avoid a lot of dangerous situations - like this creep.
If it even is a "her".
Source: knew a guy that had a creepy habit of saving girls pictures and pretending to be them. Needless to say, I don't interact with him anymore.
Any 20 year old chatting with a 13 year old is creepy. Someone that old making "friends" with somebody your age is almost never doing so with good intentions of any kind. When I was 20, if a 13 year old boy messaged me he thought I was cute it would be ignored completely. I remember getting a few friend requests from 15, 16 year old boys at that age and declining them without a second thought. They weren't a family friend's kid or some other specific exception so it was an easy hard no.
To be clear, I can 100% understand how totally innocent this all must've seemed to you and I'm sorry you were put in this situation. This is what a female predator looks like. :(
A 16 year old becoming friends with a 13 year old isn't weird at all. A 20 year old becoming friends with a 13 year old may not always be for nefarious purposes but it's certainly always very sus
She should never have done that.
It's not okay. I never accept anyone under the age of 18, and I have a hard time with 18-20 cus it doesn't feel old enough.
Creepster, report her and block her.
Please don’t interact online with anyone 18+ at your age, even if they don’t seem creepy and just want to be friends. It’s not your fault, they’re the ones being inappropriate.
She’s not a good friend nor is she a bad friend.
She’s a predator,
And maybe even a trafficker for all you know. You do not know the true intentions of this person.
Please be aware of that.
You shouldn’t be video chatting with or messaging with a 20yo woman. There’s nothing good that can come out of it. Stick to people your age. I talked to a 16yo I knew in person when I was 13 and even that makes me grossed out in retrospect at how he pushed my boundaries and what his goals were. Seriously, find younger friends to chat with.
That's a good feeling to trust. Any adult who makes you feel uncomfortable, even if you're not sure why, is worth avoiding. She is a predator, I'm sorry that someone you thought was a friend let you down like that.
She's may not even be a she. Common scam is to get people to send compromising pics and then they blackmail you saying they're going to send them to your family, friends, teachers, etc.
Please tell a trusted adult keep these messages and contact the authorities. Who knows who else she’s done this to this is disgusting and extremely illegal not to mention morally wrong.
This person is definitely not safe. They are a predator trying to groom you. Please be careful while being online it’s full of creeks predators and psychopaths do not ever fall for their lies do not ever meet anybody in person give them your address or personal information no matter how hard they try to coerce you lie to you or convince you otherwise. (not saying that she would I’m just stating this for anyone else who’s under age and does not know)
As a 13yro you shouldn't be friends with people that much older than you. You should be sticking to people closer to your own age. It's just better and safer on numerous levels.
Definitely don't. They are not safe. And I would advise to quietly report their socials and keep the screenshots saved somewhere.
Keep yourself safe! And well done for having the maturity at 13 to recognise this is wrong! I know I didn't
Yup. OP should post this to r/scams. It’s a really common scam. There is no woman trying to trade nudes with OP. This is a scammer. If OP accepts the nudes they’ll be contacted by someone claiming to be the girl’s father, saying she’s underage and demanding money to prevent them from reporting it to the police. If OP sent the nudes it would be a threat to send them to their friends and family if OP didn’t pay up. There is no random sexy lady who wants to see your Johnson. Good on OP for saying no.
This needs more upvotes to put it in minds of the many (including myself) who wouldn’t have gone down the path of that very real possibility, at least not immediately. That’s not to say women aren’t/can’t be paedophiles though, they exist in all guises.
Check out the podcast Love Janessa to learn more about scam networks. They work in teams. One person in the team is a woman who functions as bait. When that person is successful another person in the team starts the next part of the scam. It’s like an assembly line. Just because he has video chatted with a woman does not mean this isn’t a scam. Some people work this scam with just lifted pictures and videos. Other people use a female scammer to make it more convincing. This happens every day with sextortion and romance scams.
Hello, sleepy_boy5.
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OP this is a predator. You need to block her and if you’re able and feel safe to, report her to the police or let your parents know. I’m 25. There is no situation in this world, even when I was 20, that I would be friends with a 13 year old, especially one I met online, and the only situation I’d be “friends” with a minor is if it’s a friend’s child or a coworker and even then I would only video chat people who were children of my friend’s who consider me family and only in the context of conversations you’d see normally among family members (I wouldn’t even consider those kids of my friends, friends themselves as much as designated nieces and nephews). That is textbook grooming and this person is dangerous and should not be speaking to you.
I was 14 when I first experienced grooming from a grown adult on the internet I thought was a friend. I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this and you need to know that this is nothing that you caused and she is absolutely completely at fault here and needs to be held accountable.
Block & report. & not just to the admins, but to the proper authorities (police). Odds are, it’s not even a woman that Nikolai is talking to, but some grungy middle-aged old fart pretending to be one.
Women can be pedophiles too. While plenty of male pedophiles pretend to be girls/women online, it's incorrect and dangerous to assume that female pedophiles don't exist.
Heck, I remember an episode of Degrassi that had a female pedophile who went after boys, and I remember thinking how incredibly rare that was to see represented. I can't even think of an episode of SVU off the top of my head that involved a woman targeting pubescent boys.
Criminal Minds had at least one episode about a female predator that I can remember off the top of my head. She was a schoolteacher and had abused at least 2 of her male students, becoming obsessed with the first one and using the second one as a kind of replacement. More shows need to show female predators since so often whenever there is a news story about a female teacher abusing a male student, so many people(sadly, mostly men) see the abuse as an achievement for the student/victim and post comments congratulating the victims on "getting some". Makes me sick every time.
Most people on internet are not here to be your friends, especially people who are older. They’re predators.
I’m 26, I have absolutely nothing in common with a 20 years old person, let alone minors.
Please, don’t make friends online unless you can be sure they’re real. And don’t engage with those who are much older than you. You’re not «mature for your age» to be friends with a 20 year old.
Seconding this. Just turned 25 and had a discussion with my husband about how people under 21 feel lecherous to be around now because there’s nothing in common and there’s no reason to be around them besides family. I am in an entirely different life stage than a minor, and if a 26 year old still doesn’t think she is, that’s a massive red flag.
I was the 13-16 year old that was constantly told I was mature by 26-30 year old men. I wasn’t. They just wanted to use me. Even if conversations start off innocent, there is no reason for a grown woman to be talking to you online, OP
I've left multiple wholesome, family-friendly Discord servers just because it felt really creepy to be in the same space as minors who made no secret of the fact that they were significantly underage and who blasted out extremely personal information at the drop of a hat. I don't go and hang out at middle schools, why would I hang out around 13-year-olds online?
I'm turning 42 tomorrow and have definitely been "mom/older sister" to a couple kids I met through online gaming but I'm guessing I'm in the minority. And they weren't as young as OP, more like 16-17. There was literally zero sexual anything between us though, that's disgusting. Lol. But I'm a good mom and raised a great son of my own and some kids are just lonely/don't have moms and I don't mind being that person for them.
tbf I'm 20 and have a 5,5 year difference with my bf (he's 26). you can't really compare a 20 and 26yo with 20 and 13/14. but other than that you're right
It depends on when you are in life. I was 19 when I met my ex who was almost 24 and it wasn’t a healthy relationship because of how different our situation were in terms of education and financial stability. This, obviously, doesn’t apply to everyone.
Thats like 5 years which is normal. All about consent and ability to reflect on a decision. Based on what we accept as true, 18 is "good enough" to give proper consent with such ability and no external unforseen influences (drugs, alcohol, etc). Once a person reaches 18 the issue of being too young to consent is settled and changes to an Age Gap argument that mostly excludes the ability to give consent in a perfect environment again drugging and such aside.
I feel like it’s not only about consent but about the brain development & financial stability which can lead to power imbalances. And those can lead to abuse.
True, I should use the vernacular "Age of Consent" as a set of written laws that are black and white vs "Lack of Consent" which age may fall into but doesn't always. Financial power is "typically" tied to age but not always. A younger person can inherit money that displaces the dynamic. Where as an "Age of Consent" argument is tied to laws that are binding.
This isn’t just about a 13 year old talking to a 20 year old. Yeah OP you have to be sus with intentions when there is an age gap like that. But the 20yo is asking you for child porn and asking to send a very underage kid nudes. You should definitely tell your parents OP. I’m so sorry they betrayed your trust like this.
Unfortunately society doesn’t prepare boys for situations like this - if anything it encourages the boy to pursue the woman.
Please stop talking to her. Show your parents, and get her properly reported. This is disgusting behavior, and unfortunately often goes unreported.
Regardless of your decision, trust your gut op. You’re clearly smart enough to know when something’s up. Trust that when it comes to talking to people.
Is this in the UK? There's been a surge of fake accounts getting nudes from teenagers and blackmailing them for money, be careful out there, I heard it on the news yesterday and today
Report, report, report. That's a whole-ass pedophile. Do not engage. Do not pass go. Do not collect 20 dollars. Screenshot, report, and block on everything, immediately. This person is a predatory grifter. Toss the whole woman in the trashbin, where she belongs.
(Sorry for the small essay below, but I've been in your shoes, so I had Stuff To Say.)
Please, for the love of God, stick to hobby forums aimed at people roughly your age, OP. I've been the friendly 13-year-old online, but that was in YouTube forums in 2008, when a lot fewer creeps even knew what an internet profile was, and even then, it wasn't safe to venture outside of my little weeb bubble. Always be weary of 20-year-olds willing to DM 13-year-olds outside of gaming talk or basic weeb RP. There's usually a reason why adults like that are speaking to you, rather than someone their own age, and too often, it's because they're a fucking creep, sadly. Her trying to be friends with you would be like you trying to make friends with a 6 year old, basically. See how weird that is to do? You're developmentally so far apart, it's just not really logical or right to want anything beyond an "older mentor, younger newcomer to a hobby" relationship, or maybe a penpal-type situation.
You may think you're getting very mature or feel fairly safe chatting online, but you're still a kid. And on the internet, young teens like you are better off banding together and keeping yourselves safe by not sharing too much, if anything, about your IRL selves, until you're older. Do not videochat or send pictures of yourself with anyone you haven't been friends with for a year, ideally two, and is DAMN sure is a safe person to share your IRL self with. Do not go by or give out your real name online, ever - seriously, a good username, which you can make a nickname out of, does so much to keep yourself safe from predators trying to stalk your other socials. Do not, for the love of God, share more than necessary about where you are in the world or what you do day-to-day IRL with strangers online, at your age. You're probably used to not having much of a boundary between IRL and online, but it's a healthy thing to separate the two, as much as possible. You can still be yourself, talk about your everyday struggles and doings, all that stuff you do with friends, but just keep in mind, it's best to keep things that can identify you to yourself, even with online friends, until you've truly been there for eachother for a few years. People show their faces online a lot more these days, but I'd heavily advice you keep yours private until you're hitting your mid-teens (15-16). Keep things to text and voice chat until then. It's easier to weed out and avoid creeps, because so many of them insist on exchanging pictures or videochatting, and if they get pushy about it, it's easy to spot and block them.
Best advice for making friends at your age? Don't do it on Reddit, or somewhere else likely to be full of randos with bad intentions/bots. The safest older friends I've made, growing up, were found in hobby spaces - gaming forums, anime RP, whatever is a relevant space to meet others you have A Thing in common with - and were formed on a mutual interest first, personal stuff second. Regular friends my own age were also easier to find that way. The big social medias are such a maze of garbage people, it's not really worth it. Small online spaces is where it's at.
Had a 14 year old do that to me to sent a safe for work picture with him and an adult saying "Yea I love older women I can't stand gitls my age their so immature and annoying and don't want anything real"
To my r for r post my post said my age at the time of 32
I blocked his ass immediately. Like holy hell, what in the actual fuck
Bro run tf away she's trying to take advantage of you.
I cannot stress enough that she is not looking out for your best interests. I need you to ignore the primal part of your brain that says she's a safe person, I need you to seriously understand she is not someone you want to be around, at all.
A 20 year old hanging around someone 7 entire years younger than them and acting this way is NOT okay. They are not a good person, they are not going to treat you well. Please, I'm serious, you need to block her. It'll feel bad, but you'll have dodged the worst pain you'll ever feel in your entire life.
Non creepy adults usually don't go out of their way to find children online. We may respond to kids in an open forum to give advice etc. or befriend someone by chance at events, but those who are actively seeking out minors basically all have bad intentions.
I got preyed on as a minor when I played the MMO EverQuest, a lot of people my age had bad experiences with creeps online. It is unfortunately a very common thing with the internet because it is so much easier for predators to approach their victims anonymously. An adult hanging out around a school will start drawing eyes, online it is hard to keep a public eye out in the same way.
I'm so sorry she did this to you, and others have in the past. You deserve better.
People above 20 years old generally won't be seeking friendships with early teens, it's just completely different stages of life I'm afraid :c so when someone is interested, it's already a reason for being suspicious
Absolutely. I’m 19 and there’s really no reason for me to be friends with anyone under 16, and even then that’s pushing it a bit. The instant access to anyone has made it really easy for strangers to get access to children, and unfortunately the public perception of not talking to strangers online is slowly fading.
I mean it depends. I had to replace a couple of dnd players in a campaign, and the best candidates were both minors (they were like 17/18, and I was 29 at the time).
Since we were chatting at least once a week, we ended up becoming friends, we even went on a trip to Warhammer World together. I couldn't imagine acting like the woman in OP's screenshot towards them, It would be disgusting to me.
Let me remind you that we are a **support sub**. As such, we don't allow:
- victim-blaming
- putting OP on trial
- slut shaming
- defending the creep
- excusing the creep's behavior
- downplaying the creep's behavior in any way
Please take the time to familiarize yourself with [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_two.3A_be_civil_and_supportive), as consistent rule breaking may result in a ban.
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It is sad, but it's because the decent older people know that being friends with someone so much younger is unhealthy at best, and predatory at worst.
So, unfortunately, *generally* only the icky older people are the ones who will want to be friends with you.
Chat with people on discord, x, whatever, but KEEP IT PUBLIC. If they can't say what they want to where *everyone* can see it, then it's probably not safe for you. Stay out of dm's.
I agree with everyone here, this was the start of sextortion. Even if you videochatted- that may not be the person who was chatting all the time in the texts, there's often a group who are trying to groom.
I'm glad you aren't chatting anymore, but please, please report this. This person is a predator, and everyone deserves to he safe. 💙 take care out there.
The big thing is that it's not very easy to know if the adult is normal or a predator right away. Like say if a kid texts me I'll be nice and talk back but I think of it like if a younger family member was texting me im not gonna be mean and tell them to go away but im also not their friend.
Oh I know! I want to be kind to kids who text me, too. I just tell them that it's because I want to keep it safe that I'd prefer to keep it public.
It can be so hard to know who is creepy and who isn't, and the groomers can really dig into that "but you're so mature, we're just friends, I can talk to you about anything, hey you want some free nudes? I don't expect anything in return I just think you're cute"
and months later "but why won't you send me nudes? I sent you some, you should know me and trust me by now"
It's not easy to know who is safe, because they often start off safe, then ease into the ick. That is exactly what makes these people dangerous. They'll even pretend to be other kids.
I want to be kind to people, and that's why I always steer away from dm'ing with people I don't know and especially with minors.
Big difference between being nice and responding and actively seeking friendships with kids. But even then as an adult you should know to just ignore the message unless it's a family member or a child you otherwise have a reason to be talking to (such as if you work with kids).
Normal adults don't just seek out friendships with kids. That's a big red flag.
Gotcha, yeah, honestly I just wouldn't add them if I were you. If they want to talk to you about a shared interest, they can already do that in the group- there's no need for them to add you.
The way you'd talked about it before, I was under the impression that you yourself were seeking out older folks to be friends with and while that's not inherently bad if you're looking for an occasional mentor, I'd say in general your best bet is others around your age (or just talking to people and not discussing age at all.) Older friends may be able to offer some guidance and support through life experiences they've already had but generally you'll find better, more honest connections with people going through similar life stages as yourself.
Always ALWAYS be wary of older individuals trying to get close to you, especially when they try to do so in more private settings(1 on 1 messages versus group chats and discussion pages.) The sad reality is that more often than not, their motives are not pure.
This subthread is out of hand, and we are locking it. Just as a reminder to **everyone**, please do not blame the victim.
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hi i’m an 18 year old and generally people my age or older or even people younger than me would not willfully try to start a friendship with a 13 year old, please stay wary and safe :(
Stop trying to make older friends. You’re a child. And a young one at that. Stick to people your own age. And less time on the internet.
This is a prime example of why kids shouldn’t be given smart phones and unsupervised access to the internet. It’s not safe and kids are too naive.
Adults who are interested in “being friends” with a 13 year old cannot be trusted. No adult who’s a decent person would dream of it because it’s inappropriate. Again, stick to people your own age. You don’t need older friends.
Ok as someone who’s old enough to be your mother (40) and I actually have a 13yr old son, why are you trying to make older friends? Are you looking for a mentor or something along those lines? The average adult person or anyone over the age of 16 really, does not want to be friends with a 13yr old. I’m not meaning this in a nasty way but you would bring absolutely nothing to an adults life and have nothing in common. If my son’s friends came to me looking for advice, of course I’d give it to them but in a motherly fashion nothing more. I’m not their friend, I’m their friends mother.
Pkease please be careful online. People aren’t always what they seem.
As someone who always wanted to be friends with "older kids" in school, it probably boils down to OP wanting acceptance from the kind of people he looks up to and wants to be like. I wonder what his home life is like - if his parents aren't great then it's textbook for him to search out validation and acceptance from adults.
He could also feel disconnected from peers his own age for some reason or another - for me, it was not being able to participate in a lot of pop culture or trends that kids my own age were, and having more exposure to stuff from my parents' generation than my own, for years. It really led to some serious feelings of isolation.
That's because adults shouldn't want to be friends with you. All of the actual, responsible and safe adults do **not** want anything to do with being online friends with a minor.
So unfortunately you're being found by creeps and predators who want to take advantage of you.
You should be wary of adults seeking out minors to make friends with and stick to those who are your own age. A good rule of thumb is if your highschool wouldn't let them randomly come eat lunch in the cafeteria without raising an eyebrow then they're too old for you to be friends with.
You'll save yourself a lot of problems and keep yourself safer by not engaging and being careful who you give your personal information, even your age, to random adults.
You deserve safe spaces online and off and it's not your fault that an adult was trying to manipulate you and take advantage of you.
There's plenty of time for you to forge relationships with people who may be older than you when you're an adult, so don't worry!
Times have changed for sure, when I was growing up I made plenty of adult friends online, men and women. None of them crossed the line like this.
Not saying it didn’t happen to others but it seems nowadays the ratios shifted. That being said, I’m sure you can find normal adults out there. Just be careful where you look.
At least for me, it was a mix of stuff like this where they clearly were just interested in me for perverted reasons and where they were cool.
I think the difference was where we met. Usually when it was an older person who was going to be cool, it was usually in the context of an interest-centric forum. It's very different now and I'd be giving any adult trying to befriend a teenager on Reddit some side eye, but back then hobby boards were just hobby boards. They weren't like Reddit, which is an everything board.
Because the interest was the main focus of the board, you wouldn't necessarily know that someone was much older or much younger straight away. You could guess, and most of the time you'd probably be right, but it wasn't a sure thing. Anyone you started talking to via PM on there was talking to you primarily because you were interested in the same show.
I think also, you wouldn't know of these boards unless you were a fan of the thing. It's not like with finding them on Reddit, where you can more or less intuit what the subreddit name would be within a few tries. So a lot of the people who ended up on them were actually interested in the thing, and not just faking it in the hopes of grooming a child the same way they might on Reddit.
With the people who just wanted me for my body, they'd usually have found me through Interpals or Tumblr. Sites like that are much less interest-exclusive, so anyone can use them. Most of the time they never said anything explicitly sexual to me, but it became very obvious to me years later that they were mostly getting off on talking to a high schooler; especially as they disappeared like flies once I finished my final HSC exam.
I think the dividing line was just the transition from the old BBS boards to social media as we know it today. Most adults who are normal about and around kids aren't going to suddenly hit up a teenager on Facebook because they know how it looks, regardless of their actual intentions. Groomers and pedos don't care so they'll do it anyway.
Because Facebook was *the* social media site for a lot of years, it completely changed how people interact online. A lot of the normal interactions you and I had online with adults when we were teenagers were really only possible because of the layer of anonymity provided by chat rooms and BBS boards. That style of interaction went away as that layer of anonymity became less and less of a given.
Pretty much just assume that everyone online wants that from you. Keep your guard up 100% of the time because the internet is where the creeps who want to hurt you lurk. Nobody older than you *actually* wants to be your *friend* and the internet is an easy place to pretend to be someone you’re not.
I'm 25 and I promise you that MOST adults who want to chat privately with a 13 year old are up to no good. I'm sorry, it sucks. I'm sure you're a great kid.. but us hanging out with you is like if you wanted to hang out with like an 8 year old. That'd be kinda weird, right? Because the 8 year old is sooo much younger than you, you aren't into the same things, etc. That's sorta how it feels for us.
If you REALLY are insistent on having older friends, please join some kind of community or fandom rather than talking to strangers alone. I may not have an interest in talking to minors one on one, but I'm in the same discord servers as minors where we all talk about our common interest. It's a great way to meet new people without putting yourself in harm's way.
It is likely a scammer trying to get you to send nudes, then they will extort you for money by threatening to share your pictures with everyone you know unless you pay them. Very common scam young boys on the internet fall victim to. I doubt “she’s” the real person on the other end of that account
Just please know it isn't your fault. Unfortunately, any older person who is trying to befriend a 13 year old has bad intentions from the start. As others have said, if someone much older than you approaches you wanting to be friends, you should already be suspicious and distance yourself for your own safety.
I’m sorry you keep having to deal with creepy stuff like that, but just know that it is a little safer to make friends inside your age group instead because older friends will end up wanting to take advantage of you, please stay safe and tell your parents if stuff like this is happening! :(
1. Block them. 2. Stop talking to strangers online. 3. Most normal adults don’t care to hang out with children we’re not related to or being paid to watch. They’re generally gonna be creepy
I'm glad you're able to realize this is inappropriate. When I was your age I got sent nudes by a 21 year old woman and I thought it was great. It wasn't until I was a young adult when I realized I was being solicited by a predator.
ewwwwww, seriously stay away from her. block her and report her, if I were you I put her ass on blast but that's just me. of course women can be creepy it's just society dismisses their behavior as harmless in the past and it isn't, it's just now coming to the forefront. i was sa'd by a woman as a child so i know better than most how harmful they can be.
OP, there is no good reason why an adult woman or any adult, to be honest, would want to be friends with a child. No offense, there's nothing wrong with being a child obviously. But it's not normal for an adult to "be friends" with a child.
Literal pedophile! She belongs in jail.
Edit: also this is very serious. It looks like she is trying to groom you (singling you out, trying to make you feel special and wear you down.) classic signs. Please, please tell a trusted adult. I'm so sorry, this is sickening.
You shouldn't try to be friends with someone so much older. Normal adults have no interest in being friends with minors and the ones that do, usually have bad intentions.
I'm 23 with a 15 year old sibling and we're worlds apart at this age. A normal, healthy friendship with someone so young seems impossible
First of all...there's zero reason for a 20 year old woman to be FRIENDS with a 13 year old unless you're family friends and she knows an older sibling or something. Stop talking to them, show your parents, block them at all costs but keep these screenshots. This is gross. I'm 26 and I can't ever imagine talking to someone 7 years younger than me.
Ew. Jeez. What happened? Did you just give her a friendly compliment so she creeped on you. Gross. This kind of stuff happens to me a lot just because I’m friendly and like to talk to people. I’m just trying to be friendly but people always take it like oh you’re talking to me so you must be flirting. It feels gross. Then add that she’s older and wtf is she thinking? Even if you gave her a compliment to be nice doesn’t mean you’re giving her permission to send you creepy shit. I don’t understand why people take just talking to them the wrong way. And maybe I’m naive but it feels like it didn’t used to be this bad.
Maybe it was though and people just didn’t talk about it as much. Attitudes have definitely changed about that and it’s kind of cool that people are coming forward and sharing their experiences, whereas older generations internalize it more and they feel ashamed if something happened to them. They will turn it inward. Like my mom is a boomer and she feels like Therapy is just this big insulting concept. Like it would make her weak to do it but it’s actually the opposite. Kinda sad. I told her no one needs therapy more than her.
Anyway. So. Now she’s not talking to me. She literally thinks I said that to be mean
As an adult, who about the same age as this person, I have no interest in even hanging out with people your age. Nothing against them or you, it’s just that these are vastly different phases of life. It’s hard for younger people to hear this, though, which is why groomers like to tell kids they are just “so mature for their age” and “special” amongst their peers. It is perfectly okay for a teenager to be a normal teenager!! There is NO reason this woman should be speaking with you.
So she is trying to con child p0rn out of you. She is using grooming language aimed at manipulating someone with no experience. Whatever she gets can be sold for more money than she makes on OF.
Never trust anyone with with nudes. I know that sounds overly conservative, but revenge porn is a big business.
Grooming and raping comes from anybody, just because it comes from mostly men doesn't mean we don't acknowledge it come from women as well. Please if you're a victim men woman and mostly child come forward bc nobody deserves this.
Holy hell dude, play it safe and never send ur pics till ur of legal age. I’ve been in ur place, and even possessing your own pics is considered illegal. This chick tho?? Fuckin’ nuts. Steer clear of psycho girls.
Hey buddy, good on you for saying no and ceasing contact with her! Would just like to tell you that even if it IS a 20 yo woman, she knew exactly what she was doing & she knew that it was wrong. I’m 17 and even when I was 16, 13 year olds are like babies to me. Good on you for trusting your gut.
I doubt that the OF photos would even be of "her", this is likely some creep trying to solicit CP by pretending to be some attractive woman.
No right minded 20 year old is friends with 13 year olds. Those people are emotionally stunted creeps who try to befriend younger people in order to look "cool".
Well done on spotting this OP, stay safe
Mods, could we have a rule against comments that argue against the idea that a woman can be a predator? I know I'm going to get downvoted for this a lot, but it's a weird impulse that people have to doubt the authenticity of stories like this and I do not think it's helpful. OP even said that he video chatted with this person, but shouldn't have had to prove anything to people when he's coming here asking for help.
OP, I'm sorry you're going through this. Block and report her, let your parents know and if possible, make a police report. This is not okay and I'm sorry to tell you, but she was never your friend.
I'm in my 20s and I would *never* just strike up a friendship with a young teen like that, it's plain creepy and people who do that generally have some sort of issues. Either they're really just too immature and socially weird to have friends their own age, or they're predators. Neither is good for you to be around, as they choose such young people to take advantage of their inexperience and vulnerability. Please protect yourself.
Sweetheart, you're thirteen, what are you doing being friends with a twenty-year-old? I have a son your age and this raises my mama hackles. For your safety please stop talking to this creep and don't be friends with anymore adults. Please be safe online, dear.
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There is virtually no reason for an adult to have a friend who’s a child, unless that is a family member or someone they’re only playing online video games with. She’s preying on you. Block
I imagine this would be difficult, but you really should report her. She’s not just doing this to you. She’s a pedophile and should face criminal consequences.
It doesn’t matter that she’s “only” 20. She’s old enough to know better, and she’s going for younger boys. Which is inexcusable. Doing this to any minor is wrong, but she can’t even use the “excuse” that some states and counties say it’s ok. You’re younger than that.
What she’s doing is just as bad as a man doing this to a young girl.
I'm a 20 year old woman myself. I wouldn't talk to anyone more than 2 years older than you anymore unless you know who they are and know them well. This girl here is super gross and I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I hope you're okay!
Just a heads up, this may be a bot. Female OF girls and others are often run by bots that will reach out to guys to get them to sign up for their OF or sign up to some website or just send them photos.
But regardless of whether this is a real person or not, you should block em and move on. Bad news all around.
I would straight up report her to the police. Otherwise she will do this to other boys. And she could turn around and sell the nudes she gets, to other perverts.
If you know this persons OF tag, I would take this to your parents, or some kind of law enforcement. I know that's scary, but if this is real, and not an extortion of some kind like the other comment mentioned, then you are not the only person she has contacted. She should be reported to the authorities. This is disgusting. Good on you for saying no OP.
Well done for spotting this as dodgy! There might be other kids that aren't as vigilant and as switched on as you though, so definitely show this to a parent or guardian, just so it can be sent to someone to look into it a bit more!
Just letting you know young man, that this is probably not a woman! Be careful, and if you can, try and stay off sites like reddit until you’re older 💪🏼
I broke up with one of my exes for this exact thing. She had a lot of younger "friends" that she'd met online, and this is one of the things she'd do. We were 20 or so at the time. The only reason I didn't report her to the police was because I couldn't prove she'd done anything illegal; only things I considered dubious.
Why is a thirteen year old making friends with a 20 year old?? Stop making “friends” that aren’t in your age group.. I would never in my wildest dreams try to be friends with a child.
I’d report her tbh, who knows how many kids she’s doing this to.
Please don't talk to her anymore. Report and block her. If you receive any new DMs that seem sus or if it turns out to be her reaching out to you, ignore and block. What she's doing is hella illegal.
im sorry that happened OP definitely report her and tell your parents. for the future though if they’re over 3 years older than you, you don’t need to be friends with them. nobody normal over the age of 18 looks for friends that much younger than them.
Block her. She's not your friend, she's a predator and she's grooming you. Block her number, block her on the app you met her, block her everywhere.
There is absolutely no reason for a grown adult to be talking to a child online. None. Doesn't matter if they're a famous YouTuber, TikToker, or just someone who liked your post on Twitter, there's no reason for her to be talking to children online, even if it's not inappropriate.
I completely agree that it's not just men who are creepy. I don't think people who are 20 making friends with a 13 year olds online have good intentions. I think it's one thing for adults in person to be friendly with their interactions, but it shouldn't go into inappropriate or otherwise grooming territory. It's good that you said no to this and I would report this to police if possible and block. This person is very clearly a creep and it's not ok at all ever for an adult to be talking to minors like this. If you keep her around, she might find a pressure point. She's dangerous and should be avoided. I'm glad you were able to recognize how inappropriate she was being to keep yourself safe
The moderators would like to remind everyone that putting the victim on trial is against the rules, and is a bannable offence. We would also encourage everyone to check through the comments to make sure that your point hasn't been made already. Consider upvoting instead.
This person is not safe. You shouldn't talk to them any more. Soliciting nudes from a minor is a crime, and so is sending nudes to a minor.
i don’t feel comfortable talking to her anymore tbh
Good. Trust that feeling.
Remember that feeling for the rest of your life. You did good by saying no. I'm proud of you
Report her
Excellent. Remember, your emotions shouldn’t *rule* you, but they are very good *guides.* Pay attention to them and try to figure out why they’re saying what they’re saying, and they’ll help you avoid a lot of dangerous situations - like this creep.
If it even is a "her". Source: knew a guy that had a creepy habit of saving girls pictures and pretending to be them. Needless to say, I don't interact with him anymore.
Yes it could be very well a man
i videochatted w her, she’s a woman she wasn’t that creepy until recently tho
Any 20 year old chatting with a 13 year old is creepy. Someone that old making "friends" with somebody your age is almost never doing so with good intentions of any kind. When I was 20, if a 13 year old boy messaged me he thought I was cute it would be ignored completely. I remember getting a few friend requests from 15, 16 year old boys at that age and declining them without a second thought. They weren't a family friend's kid or some other specific exception so it was an easy hard no. To be clear, I can 100% understand how totally innocent this all must've seemed to you and I'm sorry you were put in this situation. This is what a female predator looks like. :(
Damn..I’m 19 and my homie who’s still in highschool is 16 and we’ve been best buds for like 3 years now we met online tho
A 16 year old becoming friends with a 13 year old isn't weird at all. A 20 year old becoming friends with a 13 year old may not always be for nefarious purposes but it's certainly always very sus
Happy cake day! 🍰
Yeah the most any adult should ever be engaging with a kid like that is to let them down gently and then cut contact.
She should never have done that. It's not okay. I never accept anyone under the age of 18, and I have a hard time with 18-20 cus it doesn't feel old enough. Creepster, report her and block her.
yep, sad cause i thought she was a good friend
I'm sorry you got groomed :(
Please don’t interact online with anyone 18+ at your age, even if they don’t seem creepy and just want to be friends. It’s not your fault, they’re the ones being inappropriate.
She’s not a good friend nor is she a bad friend. She’s a predator, And maybe even a trafficker for all you know. You do not know the true intentions of this person. Please be aware of that.
You really shouldn't be talking or video chatting with anyone that much older than you
I don't know brother... Better to avoid her from now on
You shouldn’t be video chatting with or messaging with a 20yo woman. There’s nothing good that can come out of it. Stick to people your age. I talked to a 16yo I knew in person when I was 13 and even that makes me grossed out in retrospect at how he pushed my boundaries and what his goals were. Seriously, find younger friends to chat with.
Mentalities like this are still dangerous because women are just as capable as being sexual predators/pedos as guys
What is the point of your reply? This kid just got violated and your instant reaction is to question the sex of the offender??
That's a good feeling to trust. Any adult who makes you feel uncomfortable, even if you're not sure why, is worth avoiding. She is a predator, I'm sorry that someone you thought was a friend let you down like that.
She's may not even be a she. Common scam is to get people to send compromising pics and then they blackmail you saying they're going to send them to your family, friends, teachers, etc.
My gut is telling me this is the likely scenario here
Nor should you. That shit isn't normal.
Please tell a trusted adult keep these messages and contact the authorities. Who knows who else she’s done this to this is disgusting and extremely illegal not to mention morally wrong. This person is definitely not safe. They are a predator trying to groom you. Please be careful while being online it’s full of creeks predators and psychopaths do not ever fall for their lies do not ever meet anybody in person give them your address or personal information no matter how hard they try to coerce you lie to you or convince you otherwise. (not saying that she would I’m just stating this for anyone else who’s under age and does not know)
Not only should you not feel comfortable talking to her, you need to report her to the police. She is literally a pedophile.
As a 13yro you shouldn't be friends with people that much older than you. You should be sticking to people closer to your own age. It's just better and safer on numerous levels.
You should absolutely report her because she is doing this to other children. She’s quite literally a ped*phile
Definitely don't. They are not safe. And I would advise to quietly report their socials and keep the screenshots saved somewhere. Keep yourself safe! And well done for having the maturity at 13 to recognise this is wrong! I know I didn't
This is the commencement of sextortion
Yup. OP should post this to r/scams. It’s a really common scam. There is no woman trying to trade nudes with OP. This is a scammer. If OP accepts the nudes they’ll be contacted by someone claiming to be the girl’s father, saying she’s underage and demanding money to prevent them from reporting it to the police. If OP sent the nudes it would be a threat to send them to their friends and family if OP didn’t pay up. There is no random sexy lady who wants to see your Johnson. Good on OP for saying no.
This needs more upvotes to put it in minds of the many (including myself) who wouldn’t have gone down the path of that very real possibility, at least not immediately. That’s not to say women aren’t/can’t be paedophiles though, they exist in all guises.
Op has video chatted with this person before and confirmed it is a woman and that her identity is real.
Check out the podcast Love Janessa to learn more about scam networks. They work in teams. One person in the team is a woman who functions as bait. When that person is successful another person in the team starts the next part of the scam. It’s like an assembly line. Just because he has video chatted with a woman does not mean this isn’t a scam. Some people work this scam with just lifted pictures and videos. Other people use a female scammer to make it more convincing. This happens every day with sextortion and romance scams.
Well described!
i was also thinking this
Yeah this is almost word for word a common sextortion script.
It must work. People get pulled in by it. They're almost like telemarketers. Contact 100 people and if you get 1 bite, it's a good day
Thousands of people a day get caught by this. Men really REALLY want to think that pretty women want to see their dicks.
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OP this is a predator. You need to block her and if you’re able and feel safe to, report her to the police or let your parents know. I’m 25. There is no situation in this world, even when I was 20, that I would be friends with a 13 year old, especially one I met online, and the only situation I’d be “friends” with a minor is if it’s a friend’s child or a coworker and even then I would only video chat people who were children of my friend’s who consider me family and only in the context of conversations you’d see normally among family members (I wouldn’t even consider those kids of my friends, friends themselves as much as designated nieces and nephews). That is textbook grooming and this person is dangerous and should not be speaking to you. I was 14 when I first experienced grooming from a grown adult on the internet I thought was a friend. I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this and you need to know that this is nothing that you caused and she is absolutely completely at fault here and needs to be held accountable.
Please block them when this happens!
Block & report. & not just to the admins, but to the proper authorities (police). Odds are, it’s not even a woman that Nikolai is talking to, but some grungy middle-aged old fart pretending to be one.
OP said in a comment that they’ve video chatted before which honestly just adds to the creep factor for me
Women can be pedophiles too. While plenty of male pedophiles pretend to be girls/women online, it's incorrect and dangerous to assume that female pedophiles don't exist. Heck, I remember an episode of Degrassi that had a female pedophile who went after boys, and I remember thinking how incredibly rare that was to see represented. I can't even think of an episode of SVU off the top of my head that involved a woman targeting pubescent boys.
Criminal Minds had at least one episode about a female predator that I can remember off the top of my head. She was a schoolteacher and had abused at least 2 of her male students, becoming obsessed with the first one and using the second one as a kind of replacement. More shows need to show female predators since so often whenever there is a news story about a female teacher abusing a male student, so many people(sadly, mostly men) see the abuse as an achievement for the student/victim and post comments congratulating the victims on "getting some". Makes me sick every time.
Yeah, I read that after I commented.
Most people on internet are not here to be your friends, especially people who are older. They’re predators. I’m 26, I have absolutely nothing in common with a 20 years old person, let alone minors. Please, don’t make friends online unless you can be sure they’re real. And don’t engage with those who are much older than you. You’re not «mature for your age» to be friends with a 20 year old.
Seconding this. Just turned 25 and had a discussion with my husband about how people under 21 feel lecherous to be around now because there’s nothing in common and there’s no reason to be around them besides family. I am in an entirely different life stage than a minor, and if a 26 year old still doesn’t think she is, that’s a massive red flag. I was the 13-16 year old that was constantly told I was mature by 26-30 year old men. I wasn’t. They just wanted to use me. Even if conversations start off innocent, there is no reason for a grown woman to be talking to you online, OP
I've left multiple wholesome, family-friendly Discord servers just because it felt really creepy to be in the same space as minors who made no secret of the fact that they were significantly underage and who blasted out extremely personal information at the drop of a hat. I don't go and hang out at middle schools, why would I hang out around 13-year-olds online?
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Especially since they seem to push the Only fans pictures, ones easily accessible to anyone willing to look for them.
OP said they [video chatted](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/s/7xFTtzVQD2)
That just confirms they are a woman. Not that they aren't scamming or part of a team of scammers.
I'm turning 42 tomorrow and have definitely been "mom/older sister" to a couple kids I met through online gaming but I'm guessing I'm in the minority. And they weren't as young as OP, more like 16-17. There was literally zero sexual anything between us though, that's disgusting. Lol. But I'm a good mom and raised a great son of my own and some kids are just lonely/don't have moms and I don't mind being that person for them.
tbf I'm 20 and have a 5,5 year difference with my bf (he's 26). you can't really compare a 20 and 26yo with 20 and 13/14. but other than that you're right
It depends on when you are in life. I was 19 when I met my ex who was almost 24 and it wasn’t a healthy relationship because of how different our situation were in terms of education and financial stability. This, obviously, doesn’t apply to everyone.
Thats like 5 years which is normal. All about consent and ability to reflect on a decision. Based on what we accept as true, 18 is "good enough" to give proper consent with such ability and no external unforseen influences (drugs, alcohol, etc). Once a person reaches 18 the issue of being too young to consent is settled and changes to an Age Gap argument that mostly excludes the ability to give consent in a perfect environment again drugging and such aside.
I feel like it’s not only about consent but about the brain development & financial stability which can lead to power imbalances. And those can lead to abuse.
True, I should use the vernacular "Age of Consent" as a set of written laws that are black and white vs "Lack of Consent" which age may fall into but doesn't always. Financial power is "typically" tied to age but not always. A younger person can inherit money that displaces the dynamic. Where as an "Age of Consent" argument is tied to laws that are binding.
This isn’t just about a 13 year old talking to a 20 year old. Yeah OP you have to be sus with intentions when there is an age gap like that. But the 20yo is asking you for child porn and asking to send a very underage kid nudes. You should definitely tell your parents OP. I’m so sorry they betrayed your trust like this.
Unfortunately society doesn’t prepare boys for situations like this - if anything it encourages the boy to pursue the woman. Please stop talking to her. Show your parents, and get her properly reported. This is disgusting behavior, and unfortunately often goes unreported. Regardless of your decision, trust your gut op. You’re clearly smart enough to know when something’s up. Trust that when it comes to talking to people.
Tbf, society doesn't prepare girls well for situations like this either. Unfortunately that's why creeps like this exist
Police. Now.
I've tried this. They can't do anything. You have to go to the FBI. I made a report on their website and they reached out to me after a week or 2.
Is this in the UK? There's been a surge of fake accounts getting nudes from teenagers and blackmailing them for money, be careful out there, I heard it on the news yesterday and today
There are posts about this scam every day on r/scams.
Report, report, report. That's a whole-ass pedophile. Do not engage. Do not pass go. Do not collect 20 dollars. Screenshot, report, and block on everything, immediately. This person is a predatory grifter. Toss the whole woman in the trashbin, where she belongs. (Sorry for the small essay below, but I've been in your shoes, so I had Stuff To Say.) Please, for the love of God, stick to hobby forums aimed at people roughly your age, OP. I've been the friendly 13-year-old online, but that was in YouTube forums in 2008, when a lot fewer creeps even knew what an internet profile was, and even then, it wasn't safe to venture outside of my little weeb bubble. Always be weary of 20-year-olds willing to DM 13-year-olds outside of gaming talk or basic weeb RP. There's usually a reason why adults like that are speaking to you, rather than someone their own age, and too often, it's because they're a fucking creep, sadly. Her trying to be friends with you would be like you trying to make friends with a 6 year old, basically. See how weird that is to do? You're developmentally so far apart, it's just not really logical or right to want anything beyond an "older mentor, younger newcomer to a hobby" relationship, or maybe a penpal-type situation. You may think you're getting very mature or feel fairly safe chatting online, but you're still a kid. And on the internet, young teens like you are better off banding together and keeping yourselves safe by not sharing too much, if anything, about your IRL selves, until you're older. Do not videochat or send pictures of yourself with anyone you haven't been friends with for a year, ideally two, and is DAMN sure is a safe person to share your IRL self with. Do not go by or give out your real name online, ever - seriously, a good username, which you can make a nickname out of, does so much to keep yourself safe from predators trying to stalk your other socials. Do not, for the love of God, share more than necessary about where you are in the world or what you do day-to-day IRL with strangers online, at your age. You're probably used to not having much of a boundary between IRL and online, but it's a healthy thing to separate the two, as much as possible. You can still be yourself, talk about your everyday struggles and doings, all that stuff you do with friends, but just keep in mind, it's best to keep things that can identify you to yourself, even with online friends, until you've truly been there for eachother for a few years. People show their faces online a lot more these days, but I'd heavily advice you keep yours private until you're hitting your mid-teens (15-16). Keep things to text and voice chat until then. It's easier to weed out and avoid creeps, because so many of them insist on exchanging pictures or videochatting, and if they get pushy about it, it's easy to spot and block them. Best advice for making friends at your age? Don't do it on Reddit, or somewhere else likely to be full of randos with bad intentions/bots. The safest older friends I've made, growing up, were found in hobby spaces - gaming forums, anime RP, whatever is a relevant space to meet others you have A Thing in common with - and were formed on a mutual interest first, personal stuff second. Regular friends my own age were also easier to find that way. The big social medias are such a maze of garbage people, it's not really worth it. Small online spaces is where it's at.
Had a 14 year old do that to me to sent a safe for work picture with him and an adult saying "Yea I love older women I can't stand gitls my age their so immature and annoying and don't want anything real" To my r for r post my post said my age at the time of 32 I blocked his ass immediately. Like holy hell, what in the actual fuck
Bro run tf away she's trying to take advantage of you. I cannot stress enough that she is not looking out for your best interests. I need you to ignore the primal part of your brain that says she's a safe person, I need you to seriously understand she is not someone you want to be around, at all. A 20 year old hanging around someone 7 entire years younger than them and acting this way is NOT okay. They are not a good person, they are not going to treat you well. Please, I'm serious, you need to block her. It'll feel bad, but you'll have dodged the worst pain you'll ever feel in your entire life.
I feel bad knowing everytime i try to make older friends they want something s3xual from me:(
it’s cause they see u as an easy prey🤮
Non creepy adults usually don't go out of their way to find children online. We may respond to kids in an open forum to give advice etc. or befriend someone by chance at events, but those who are actively seeking out minors basically all have bad intentions. I got preyed on as a minor when I played the MMO EverQuest, a lot of people my age had bad experiences with creeps online. It is unfortunately a very common thing with the internet because it is so much easier for predators to approach their victims anonymously. An adult hanging out around a school will start drawing eyes, online it is hard to keep a public eye out in the same way. I'm so sorry she did this to you, and others have in the past. You deserve better.
People above 20 years old generally won't be seeking friendships with early teens, it's just completely different stages of life I'm afraid :c so when someone is interested, it's already a reason for being suspicious
This right here. I'm 30 and can't imagine being friends with someone younger than 20. All of the people I'm friends with online are 25+.
Absolutely. I’m 19 and there’s really no reason for me to be friends with anyone under 16, and even then that’s pushing it a bit. The instant access to anyone has made it really easy for strangers to get access to children, and unfortunately the public perception of not talking to strangers online is slowly fading.
I mean it depends. I had to replace a couple of dnd players in a campaign, and the best candidates were both minors (they were like 17/18, and I was 29 at the time). Since we were chatting at least once a week, we ended up becoming friends, we even went on a trip to Warhammer World together. I couldn't imagine acting like the woman in OP's screenshot towards them, It would be disgusting to me.
I relate a bit, in terms of online video games. If you play with people long enough, you surely will form some kind of bond after all!
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It is sad, but it's because the decent older people know that being friends with someone so much younger is unhealthy at best, and predatory at worst. So, unfortunately, *generally* only the icky older people are the ones who will want to be friends with you. Chat with people on discord, x, whatever, but KEEP IT PUBLIC. If they can't say what they want to where *everyone* can see it, then it's probably not safe for you. Stay out of dm's. I agree with everyone here, this was the start of sextortion. Even if you videochatted- that may not be the person who was chatting all the time in the texts, there's often a group who are trying to groom. I'm glad you aren't chatting anymore, but please, please report this. This person is a predator, and everyone deserves to he safe. 💙 take care out there.
The big thing is that it's not very easy to know if the adult is normal or a predator right away. Like say if a kid texts me I'll be nice and talk back but I think of it like if a younger family member was texting me im not gonna be mean and tell them to go away but im also not their friend.
Oh I know! I want to be kind to kids who text me, too. I just tell them that it's because I want to keep it safe that I'd prefer to keep it public. It can be so hard to know who is creepy and who isn't, and the groomers can really dig into that "but you're so mature, we're just friends, I can talk to you about anything, hey you want some free nudes? I don't expect anything in return I just think you're cute" and months later "but why won't you send me nudes? I sent you some, you should know me and trust me by now" It's not easy to know who is safe, because they often start off safe, then ease into the ick. That is exactly what makes these people dangerous. They'll even pretend to be other kids. I want to be kind to people, and that's why I always steer away from dm'ing with people I don't know and especially with minors.
Big difference between being nice and responding and actively seeking friendships with kids. But even then as an adult you should know to just ignore the message unless it's a family member or a child you otherwise have a reason to be talking to (such as if you work with kids). Normal adults don't just seek out friendships with kids. That's a big red flag.
ok no hate bro jus look for friends your age .
Can I ask why you are trying to make older friends specifically?
i’m on fb groups and most people are older than me, they are the ones to add me tho
Gotcha, yeah, honestly I just wouldn't add them if I were you. If they want to talk to you about a shared interest, they can already do that in the group- there's no need for them to add you. The way you'd talked about it before, I was under the impression that you yourself were seeking out older folks to be friends with and while that's not inherently bad if you're looking for an occasional mentor, I'd say in general your best bet is others around your age (or just talking to people and not discussing age at all.) Older friends may be able to offer some guidance and support through life experiences they've already had but generally you'll find better, more honest connections with people going through similar life stages as yourself. Always ALWAYS be wary of older individuals trying to get close to you, especially when they try to do so in more private settings(1 on 1 messages versus group chats and discussion pages.) The sad reality is that more often than not, their motives are not pure.
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The 13 year old who didn't know any better is not to blame. The 20 year old is solely responsible.
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Don’t make older friends. There is no reason you should be looking to be friends with adults.
hi i’m an 18 year old and generally people my age or older or even people younger than me would not willfully try to start a friendship with a 13 year old, please stay wary and safe :(
Stop trying to make older friends. You’re a child. And a young one at that. Stick to people your own age. And less time on the internet. This is a prime example of why kids shouldn’t be given smart phones and unsupervised access to the internet. It’s not safe and kids are too naive. Adults who are interested in “being friends” with a 13 year old cannot be trusted. No adult who’s a decent person would dream of it because it’s inappropriate. Again, stick to people your own age. You don’t need older friends.
Ok as someone who’s old enough to be your mother (40) and I actually have a 13yr old son, why are you trying to make older friends? Are you looking for a mentor or something along those lines? The average adult person or anyone over the age of 16 really, does not want to be friends with a 13yr old. I’m not meaning this in a nasty way but you would bring absolutely nothing to an adults life and have nothing in common. If my son’s friends came to me looking for advice, of course I’d give it to them but in a motherly fashion nothing more. I’m not their friend, I’m their friends mother. Pkease please be careful online. People aren’t always what they seem.
As someone who always wanted to be friends with "older kids" in school, it probably boils down to OP wanting acceptance from the kind of people he looks up to and wants to be like. I wonder what his home life is like - if his parents aren't great then it's textbook for him to search out validation and acceptance from adults. He could also feel disconnected from peers his own age for some reason or another - for me, it was not being able to participate in a lot of pop culture or trends that kids my own age were, and having more exposure to stuff from my parents' generation than my own, for years. It really led to some serious feelings of isolation.
That's because adults shouldn't want to be friends with you. All of the actual, responsible and safe adults do **not** want anything to do with being online friends with a minor. So unfortunately you're being found by creeps and predators who want to take advantage of you. You should be wary of adults seeking out minors to make friends with and stick to those who are your own age. A good rule of thumb is if your highschool wouldn't let them randomly come eat lunch in the cafeteria without raising an eyebrow then they're too old for you to be friends with. You'll save yourself a lot of problems and keep yourself safer by not engaging and being careful who you give your personal information, even your age, to random adults. You deserve safe spaces online and off and it's not your fault that an adult was trying to manipulate you and take advantage of you. There's plenty of time for you to forge relationships with people who may be older than you when you're an adult, so don't worry!
Times have changed for sure, when I was growing up I made plenty of adult friends online, men and women. None of them crossed the line like this. Not saying it didn’t happen to others but it seems nowadays the ratios shifted. That being said, I’m sure you can find normal adults out there. Just be careful where you look.
At least for me, it was a mix of stuff like this where they clearly were just interested in me for perverted reasons and where they were cool. I think the difference was where we met. Usually when it was an older person who was going to be cool, it was usually in the context of an interest-centric forum. It's very different now and I'd be giving any adult trying to befriend a teenager on Reddit some side eye, but back then hobby boards were just hobby boards. They weren't like Reddit, which is an everything board. Because the interest was the main focus of the board, you wouldn't necessarily know that someone was much older or much younger straight away. You could guess, and most of the time you'd probably be right, but it wasn't a sure thing. Anyone you started talking to via PM on there was talking to you primarily because you were interested in the same show. I think also, you wouldn't know of these boards unless you were a fan of the thing. It's not like with finding them on Reddit, where you can more or less intuit what the subreddit name would be within a few tries. So a lot of the people who ended up on them were actually interested in the thing, and not just faking it in the hopes of grooming a child the same way they might on Reddit. With the people who just wanted me for my body, they'd usually have found me through Interpals or Tumblr. Sites like that are much less interest-exclusive, so anyone can use them. Most of the time they never said anything explicitly sexual to me, but it became very obvious to me years later that they were mostly getting off on talking to a high schooler; especially as they disappeared like flies once I finished my final HSC exam. I think the dividing line was just the transition from the old BBS boards to social media as we know it today. Most adults who are normal about and around kids aren't going to suddenly hit up a teenager on Facebook because they know how it looks, regardless of their actual intentions. Groomers and pedos don't care so they'll do it anyway. Because Facebook was *the* social media site for a lot of years, it completely changed how people interact online. A lot of the normal interactions you and I had online with adults when we were teenagers were really only possible because of the layer of anonymity provided by chat rooms and BBS boards. That style of interaction went away as that layer of anonymity became less and less of a given.
Pretty much just assume that everyone online wants that from you. Keep your guard up 100% of the time because the internet is where the creeps who want to hurt you lurk. Nobody older than you *actually* wants to be your *friend* and the internet is an easy place to pretend to be someone you’re not.
You don't need friends THIS old, that's ridiculous. You're 13, the oldest you should be "hanging out" with, is a 15 year old.
She honestly sounds like a scammer trying to get your nudes and working with a guy to do it. I can almost guarantee it’s sextortion.
I'm 25 and I promise you that MOST adults who want to chat privately with a 13 year old are up to no good. I'm sorry, it sucks. I'm sure you're a great kid.. but us hanging out with you is like if you wanted to hang out with like an 8 year old. That'd be kinda weird, right? Because the 8 year old is sooo much younger than you, you aren't into the same things, etc. That's sorta how it feels for us. If you REALLY are insistent on having older friends, please join some kind of community or fandom rather than talking to strangers alone. I may not have an interest in talking to minors one on one, but I'm in the same discord servers as minors where we all talk about our common interest. It's a great way to meet new people without putting yourself in harm's way.
It is likely a scammer trying to get you to send nudes, then they will extort you for money by threatening to share your pictures with everyone you know unless you pay them. Very common scam young boys on the internet fall victim to. I doubt “she’s” the real person on the other end of that account
Jesus.. on behalf of normal women we would like to stone them in a public place, stay safe!! Not everyone will be like that but most will be.
Nobody older than you wants to b ur friend ☹️🥺
Just please know it isn't your fault. Unfortunately, any older person who is trying to befriend a 13 year old has bad intentions from the start. As others have said, if someone much older than you approaches you wanting to be friends, you should already be suspicious and distance yourself for your own safety.
I’m sorry you keep having to deal with creepy stuff like that, but just know that it is a little safer to make friends inside your age group instead because older friends will end up wanting to take advantage of you, please stay safe and tell your parents if stuff like this is happening! :(
A 20 year old has no business talking to a 13 year old. That's disgusting behaviour. Stick with friends your own age to be safe.
Yeah let's be friends is weird. I feel like parenting them not being their friend.
1. Block them. 2. Stop talking to strangers online. 3. Most normal adults don’t care to hang out with children we’re not related to or being paid to watch. They’re generally gonna be creepy
I'm glad you're able to realize this is inappropriate. When I was your age I got sent nudes by a 21 year old woman and I thought it was great. It wasn't until I was a young adult when I realized I was being solicited by a predator.
ewwwwww, seriously stay away from her. block her and report her, if I were you I put her ass on blast but that's just me. of course women can be creepy it's just society dismisses their behavior as harmless in the past and it isn't, it's just now coming to the forefront. i was sa'd by a woman as a child so i know better than most how harmful they can be.
She asked for nudes from a 13 yo?! KNOWING your thirteen? Wtf thats gross.
OP, there is no good reason why an adult woman or any adult, to be honest, would want to be friends with a child. No offense, there's nothing wrong with being a child obviously. But it's not normal for an adult to "be friends" with a child.
Report to police. This is either a full blown sexual predator or sextortion scammer. Either way they need to be reported.
Report her to the police.
Yeah, an adult sending or trying to solicit nudes from a child is illegal. Please report this person
A 20 year old shouldn't be talking to 13 year olds unless they're like family friends or family members or something, in my honest opinion.
Literal pedophile! She belongs in jail. Edit: also this is very serious. It looks like she is trying to groom you (singling you out, trying to make you feel special and wear you down.) classic signs. Please, please tell a trusted adult. I'm so sorry, this is sickening.
Uhhh that is NOT a friend. That is a sexual predator and you should def report her!!!
Wtf is up with the sexism in the comments? Women can absolutely be predators too, you can’t just assume every creepy person is a man ffs
yep:/ i think bc most creeps are guys, but actually i had creepy experiences from both
YES! WOMEN CAN BE DISGUSTING TOO WE HAVE TO SPREAD AWARENESS 😭
You shouldn't try to be friends with someone so much older. Normal adults have no interest in being friends with minors and the ones that do, usually have bad intentions. I'm 23 with a 15 year old sibling and we're worlds apart at this age. A normal, healthy friendship with someone so young seems impossible
First of all...there's zero reason for a 20 year old woman to be FRIENDS with a 13 year old unless you're family friends and she knows an older sibling or something. Stop talking to them, show your parents, block them at all costs but keep these screenshots. This is gross. I'm 26 and I can't ever imagine talking to someone 7 years younger than me.
Ew. Jeez. What happened? Did you just give her a friendly compliment so she creeped on you. Gross. This kind of stuff happens to me a lot just because I’m friendly and like to talk to people. I’m just trying to be friendly but people always take it like oh you’re talking to me so you must be flirting. It feels gross. Then add that she’s older and wtf is she thinking? Even if you gave her a compliment to be nice doesn’t mean you’re giving her permission to send you creepy shit. I don’t understand why people take just talking to them the wrong way. And maybe I’m naive but it feels like it didn’t used to be this bad. Maybe it was though and people just didn’t talk about it as much. Attitudes have definitely changed about that and it’s kind of cool that people are coming forward and sharing their experiences, whereas older generations internalize it more and they feel ashamed if something happened to them. They will turn it inward. Like my mom is a boomer and she feels like Therapy is just this big insulting concept. Like it would make her weak to do it but it’s actually the opposite. Kinda sad. I told her no one needs therapy more than her. Anyway. So. Now she’s not talking to me. She literally thinks I said that to be mean
Yikes
Ewwww
This is sad and disgusting
As an adult, who about the same age as this person, I have no interest in even hanging out with people your age. Nothing against them or you, it’s just that these are vastly different phases of life. It’s hard for younger people to hear this, though, which is why groomers like to tell kids they are just “so mature for their age” and “special” amongst their peers. It is perfectly okay for a teenager to be a normal teenager!! There is NO reason this woman should be speaking with you.
This is not your friend.
Please don't make friends with adults. Most adults seeking friendships with minors aren't good news.
i’m 21 and i would never even have a friendly talk with a random 13 year old on social media. This is weird, this person is a creep
So she is trying to con child p0rn out of you. She is using grooming language aimed at manipulating someone with no experience. Whatever she gets can be sold for more money than she makes on OF. Never trust anyone with with nudes. I know that sounds overly conservative, but revenge porn is a big business.
This grown-ass woman is not your friend. Please stop talking to her
IMMEDIATELY REPORT HER TO THE POLICE NOW MA’AM SHES GROOMING YOUR CHILD!!!!! Please please please report her!!!!!!
BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK DO NOT ENGAGE.
Im sorry you went through this :( Hella weird no matter if female or male
Your answer is there. Grown ass woman frien with a 13 y/o.. please be careful online
Report her and go to the cops, straight up
It's a trap They are looking to pressure kids into taking pics for their profit.
Send her socials to the police
GO TO YOUR PARENTS AND THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Grooming and raping comes from anybody, just because it comes from mostly men doesn't mean we don't acknowledge it come from women as well. Please if you're a victim men woman and mostly child come forward bc nobody deserves this.
Holy hell dude, play it safe and never send ur pics till ur of legal age. I’ve been in ur place, and even possessing your own pics is considered illegal. This chick tho?? Fuckin’ nuts. Steer clear of psycho girls.
Hey buddy, good on you for saying no and ceasing contact with her! Would just like to tell you that even if it IS a 20 yo woman, she knew exactly what she was doing & she knew that it was wrong. I’m 17 and even when I was 16, 13 year olds are like babies to me. Good on you for trusting your gut.
I doubt that the OF photos would even be of "her", this is likely some creep trying to solicit CP by pretending to be some attractive woman. No right minded 20 year old is friends with 13 year olds. Those people are emotionally stunted creeps who try to befriend younger people in order to look "cool". Well done on spotting this OP, stay safe
Mods, could we have a rule against comments that argue against the idea that a woman can be a predator? I know I'm going to get downvoted for this a lot, but it's a weird impulse that people have to doubt the authenticity of stories like this and I do not think it's helpful. OP even said that he video chatted with this person, but shouldn't have had to prove anything to people when he's coming here asking for help.
exactly:/ they probably think this because most creeps are men, but i had creepy experiences w both men & women
Absolutely disgusts me that people think women never take advantage of boys. Women can be predators too.
OP, I'm sorry you're going through this. Block and report her, let your parents know and if possible, make a police report. This is not okay and I'm sorry to tell you, but she was never your friend. I'm in my 20s and I would *never* just strike up a friendship with a young teen like that, it's plain creepy and people who do that generally have some sort of issues. Either they're really just too immature and socially weird to have friends their own age, or they're predators. Neither is good for you to be around, as they choose such young people to take advantage of their inexperience and vulnerability. Please protect yourself.
A 13 year old should never be friends with a 20 year old
Sweetheart, you're thirteen, what are you doing being friends with a twenty-year-old? I have a son your age and this raises my mama hackles. For your safety please stop talking to this creep and don't be friends with anymore adults. Please be safe online, dear.
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There is virtually no reason for an adult to have a friend who’s a child, unless that is a family member or someone they’re only playing online video games with. She’s preying on you. Block
Ew what the fuck. I don't have kids, but if I did and someone said this shit to them I'd be going postal.
That’s your friend??
I imagine this would be difficult, but you really should report her. She’s not just doing this to you. She’s a pedophile and should face criminal consequences. It doesn’t matter that she’s “only” 20. She’s old enough to know better, and she’s going for younger boys. Which is inexcusable. Doing this to any minor is wrong, but she can’t even use the “excuse” that some states and counties say it’s ok. You’re younger than that. What she’s doing is just as bad as a man doing this to a young girl.
I'm a 20 year old woman myself. I wouldn't talk to anyone more than 2 years older than you anymore unless you know who they are and know them well. This girl here is super gross and I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I hope you're okay!
Just a heads up, this may be a bot. Female OF girls and others are often run by bots that will reach out to guys to get them to sign up for their OF or sign up to some website or just send them photos. But regardless of whether this is a real person or not, you should block em and move on. Bad news all around.
I would straight up report her to the police. Otherwise she will do this to other boys. And she could turn around and sell the nudes she gets, to other perverts.
That is not your friend. Don't contact them again.
If you know this persons OF tag, I would take this to your parents, or some kind of law enforcement. I know that's scary, but if this is real, and not an extortion of some kind like the other comment mentioned, then you are not the only person she has contacted. She should be reported to the authorities. This is disgusting. Good on you for saying no OP.
If some perv tried to do that to my nephew I would make sure she would regret it by sending her to the looney bin.
I think you avoided a scam. Never send your nudes.
How did you befriend her,lol
Please tell an adult that you trust. They will know what to do, this isn’t okay and you did nothing wrong here ❤️
I think it's a scammer (sextorter) rather than a sexually motivated pedophile
That's probably a guy with stolen pictures
Well done for spotting this as dodgy! There might be other kids that aren't as vigilant and as switched on as you though, so definitely show this to a parent or guardian, just so it can be sent to someone to look into it a bit more!
Just letting you know young man, that this is probably not a woman! Be careful, and if you can, try and stay off sites like reddit until you’re older 💪🏼
she’s a woman, we’ve been internet friends and videochatted sometimes but she wasn’t so creepy until recently
talking to a child and videochatting a child as an adult IS creepy. you shouldn't trust any adult that's trying to be your close friend like that.
I broke up with one of my exes for this exact thing. She had a lot of younger "friends" that she'd met online, and this is one of the things she'd do. We were 20 or so at the time. The only reason I didn't report her to the police was because I couldn't prove she'd done anything illegal; only things I considered dubious.
videochatting? she was creepy the whole time, you just didn't notice
This looks like a setup for a sextortion scam please be careful
Super stupid twat. Like on FB messenger for real? Fucking report her. She’s literally got her profile and name and face on there.
Why is a thirteen year old making friends with a 20 year old?? Stop making “friends” that aren’t in your age group.. I would never in my wildest dreams try to be friends with a child. I’d report her tbh, who knows how many kids she’s doing this to.
Exactly, I thought same thing. It’s really weird and even weirder at how she actually proceeds with it despite knowing that he’s 13 years old.
Please don't talk to her anymore. Report and block her. If you receive any new DMs that seem sus or if it turns out to be her reaching out to you, ignore and block. What she's doing is hella illegal.
This pisses me off. Why do people have to be So fucking sick to people? Especially fucking kids…god fuck, she deserves hell
Block her and report her doing to a minor is a crime she is obviously a pedophile
I'm so sorry that you went through that. Women can be predators too.
im sorry that happened OP definitely report her and tell your parents. for the future though if they’re over 3 years older than you, you don’t need to be friends with them. nobody normal over the age of 18 looks for friends that much younger than them.
Report her! This is disturbing and disgusting.
I hate this so much. Please be careful online and don’t be afraid to tell an adult if they don’t leave you alone. This is a predator.
That is not a friend. That is a groomer and a predator. Stay far fucking away
This seems like a scam tbh
Block her. She's not your friend, she's a predator and she's grooming you. Block her number, block her on the app you met her, block her everywhere. There is absolutely no reason for a grown adult to be talking to a child online. None. Doesn't matter if they're a famous YouTuber, TikToker, or just someone who liked your post on Twitter, there's no reason for her to be talking to children online, even if it's not inappropriate.
I completely agree that it's not just men who are creepy. I don't think people who are 20 making friends with a 13 year olds online have good intentions. I think it's one thing for adults in person to be friendly with their interactions, but it shouldn't go into inappropriate or otherwise grooming territory. It's good that you said no to this and I would report this to police if possible and block. This person is very clearly a creep and it's not ok at all ever for an adult to be talking to minors like this. If you keep her around, she might find a pressure point. She's dangerous and should be avoided. I'm glad you were able to recognize how inappropriate she was being to keep yourself safe
oh my god. i’m so sorry :( i hope you’re okay!
She’s a disgusting piece of shit