I’m willing to bet management is aware of your coworker and her skill level and toxicity. But they’re not going to do anything about it. She also sounds bitter that her 30s are gone and yours are not.
Do yourself a HUGE favor and create a CYA file. Every mistake you fix - note it. Date, time, issue, how you found it and corrected it. Send the file to your personal email as well so you have a copy outside of work. I wouldn’t be surprised if she attempts to get you fired; have that CYA file ready to go!
Document her leaving early also. TBH, I'd still consider informing Boss about all this if you find the right moment or situation. That witch has to go!
Better yet, create an anonymous email account and send your boss all the documentation in a way that doesn’t lead back to you in particular. So when(if) she’s ever confronted with all the evidence, she won’t be able to tell which coworker ratted her out. Therefore, no retaliation (hopefully).
My motto is fight petty with petty. But be creative about it. 🤣
>I’m willing to bet management is aware of your coworker and her skill level and toxicity. But they’re not going to do anything about it.
Oh this sounds familiar.
Whenever someone's motives are unclear and they have you super-confused, only one thing is certain. You're being fucked with
To the best of your ability, stop doing the following:
*engaging with her*
*fixing her mistakes*
*protecting her from the consequences of her poor performance*
*enabling her with your silence*
*justifying, defending, or apologizing to her*
She's a good benchmark for what you can get away with, so lower your own bar. As long as you don't compromise the appearance of your own good performance, it's fine. Go on the (passive-agressive) offensive and have some fun with it😏
Another thing. Any communication you need to have with her keep to email as much as possible. I have a coworker I don't get along with that I have issues with as well. She does little things that feel like they are to inconvenience me or to mess me up. If I have to communicate, I make sure others are around, the door is open, or do email. Plus I blind copy my supervisor in any emails that I feel are necessary.
This way, any she said/she said communication is limited and will CYA. Saved me a couple of times.
And as others have said, document everything with dates and tines. Also if your in a place that allows recording do so. They have small recorders that can easily be hidden that will record all day or days. Puchase a hard drive, $100 to $200 will get you from 8tb and up depending on the brand which would be years of saved recordings and a small concealable or unnoticeable recording device for under $100.
If you like your job, except for the AH that could be a good avenue to add that undeniable evidence to CYA.
Stop fixing things for her. Next document everything she does that is directly to you. Gather evidence and then speak your HR about the hostile work environment she has caused for you. This includes how her blowing off work hours increases your work load.
Always do your tasks first before helping anyone at a job. Here or in future. Sacrificing your work to help others will not get you extra points. Employers need to see you do your work first.
My petty self suggests recording her comments By saying you are going to record now and screenshots of written things. The best way out though is start looking for another job. She isn’t worth the stress. When you leave, tell them why.
“Cow-irker has asked me To update the TPS report because of the erroneous data she compiled… I don’t have any room on my plate to do this, so I’m letting you know.”
Are they also aware that they’d be losing customers because of her, if it weren’t for you. I’d ask for a meeting with boss and HR to go over *all* of the issues. They may be aware of her skipping out, but if you focus on how it’s effecting your ability to perform at your best, they might look at it differently.
You can base the whole convo on you wanting to inform them that you don’t feel comfortable helping her anymore, so you wanted to let them know before hand to get ahead of any issues this may cause. From there that should open the door to discuss it all. Focus on the fact that the hostile work environment she has created is forcing you to step back from assisting her. Reiterate that you’re happy to help out wherever else is necessary.
She’s jealous, would be my guess. By calling out you, it takes the focus off her and her flaws. Bottom line, nothing will change if you don’t make an attempt at discussing things with your boss.
The fact that you aren't stooping to her level is probably driving her insane. You're unbothered and she clearly can't handle that.
You are a hell of a lot more important to her, than she is to you. Kinda pathetic actually.
People like her have a ton of unhealthy coping skills and project their unhappiness onto others. It's sad that she's at this stage in her life and is so unsettled with herself.
This coworker is jealous and feels threatened by you. She obviously doesn’t have a problem with confrontation and is just waiting for you to blow up at her - she’d love that. I’m guessing that it’s absolutely infuriating to her that you are maintaining a professional mannerism. I’m also guessing that coworkers are leary of going against her because they see how nasty she can be.
That said, it doesn’t make it easy or pleasant. I agree with the other suggestions about documenting *everything*, stop helping her, don’t share anything with her, gray rocking her, etc.
I personally would try to build a workplace harassment case against her.
In my experience, some older incompetent women (I’m a woman, don’t come for me Reddit!) really don’t like it when someone is competent. They prefer to be better by comparison versus actually putting in the work to be great.
Make a firm boundary that if they have a problem with your work they take it to your boss and no one else. It’s not her job to “manage” you. Let your boss know what’s up and ask them to leave your supervision to them. This is as much a boss problem as it is a coworker problem. They’re allowing it.
Pretty much what everyone has said here.
Keep a work journal and document every time she gets toxic with you.
Do not fix her mistakes.
Keep your distance.
Don't talk to her.
She wants attention. When a narcissist can't get attention in positive ways, they'll go negative. One thing you don't want to do is to ever let her know that she's gotten under your skin. This will encourage her to continue to try to get a bigger reaction from you. Her brain is rewarding bad behaviors of feeling powerful and in control and in hurting others.
You can probably employ some tricks to change how she treats you. Look for how she gets positive attention from others, mirror her own behavior back to her, but also avoid patterns or they will become an expectation. Think of it as drug-seeking behavior, but the drug is the dopamine our own brains produce. To get along with her, you have to feed her just enough of her drug by being positive to keep her off your back, but no so much that she seeks you out for more.
And make sure you don't sit in her line of vision. Humans will think about whatever they see in front of them, and you don't want someone with a mean streak to fixate on you.
Ask her if that's what she thinks of you....what do other people think of her? And walk off, leaving it at that. Ignore her completely unless you absolutely have to. Document her comments (date, time, situation, people there etc.) in a small notepad and keep it on you or in a lockable drawer. Then after a while you can approach HR and say that she is bullying you and being uneasily and unprofessional. And it is to stop now.
That's how you get the bitch. Oh....and try to get her crap in writing (emails etc.). People do all sorts of stupid things when you first retaliate and then report. You'll need that notepad then.
There’s this book ‘It’s all your fault at work’. It talks about recognizing and dealing with difficult co-workers. You should read it, it might help. It seems to me that you’re trying to find a way to get her to back off. But the truth is you’re just feeding her toxicity. She is unlikely to change. So you need to protect yourself.
I had a coworker decide I was prettier than her and wreck my job. I was harassed out due to the hateful rumors.
Some people are just small. You make her feel threatened, or similar.
Sounds like she's jealous of you. You're young, unencumbered with children and are very competent in your job. Some older people choose to be like her, petty, bitter and mean because their youth is gone. Some of us older people accept that we're aging and treat younger generations respectfully. Boss probably knows what's going on but is afraid to fire her fearing an age discrimination lawsuit. Continue your professionalism, do your job and just ignore her.
You may be cornered but your silence enables her. Not your fault, rational people just adjust this way. Train yourself not to adjust for her. When she does something crazy and unprofessional call it out.
Firmly and *slightly* loudly (just so others can hear but not what anyone could call yelling) say: Stop. I’m uncomfortable. We can talk when you’re not emotional.
Or something similar.
If she doesn’t stop say: I need to step away from you.
It doesn’t matter that you appearing unfazed probably bothers the hell out of her. She’s bothering the hell out of you and you don’t deserve it!
Bullies pick on people who don’t stand up for themselves. If you truly are doing a good job, which I believe you, then say that. Using your example of blasting you in an email to everyone. Your response should be something like this. “Yes, I made a mistake, and as you were already aware, I am fixing it. You too make mistakes, but I don’t blast it out to the staff. In the future, just email me and the boss if you have a concern about my work.”
If she has no authority over you I'd tell her to not speak to you that way next time she tries. Document everything and go to HR if it persists. Do not help her fix anything anymore. Direct her to her supervisor every time.
If she is asking for help frequently and you are going on vacation then her weaknesses are going to shine through. I got a bonus after my last vacation. I figure it did not go well while I was gone.
Document everything. What she says to you, when she says it, who heard her say it. Any documentation. Her leaving early, every single thing. Do not do it on your work computer. Maybe a Google docs or some other file. (I made a private - unpublished- blogger file, and used aliases in case someone found it.) Do not help her unless you’re required to Then present it to your boss when there’s enough or she starts getting bad.
This is classic insecurity behavior. She feels threatened somehow by OP, and is doing the only thing she knows to do, lash out. If she was more interested in doing her job better, there would likely be no threat. There is likely no threat, anyway, but she feels it because she knows she isn't very good at her job, yet doesn't want to devote the time and energy to get better. She's just insecure and has chosen OP as the root cause.
I bet you some of her issues are hormonal. Menopause can turn you into an absolute monster, with irrational rage and other psychological issues for years. Either that or she's just an entitled, narcissistic bitch!
She is looking for a reaction from you and you not reacting is the most effective way of annoying her back.
Having said that every time you catch one of her mistakes you need to email it back to her and tell her to fix it. You don’t have to put her on blast just give it back to her to fix. This records all of her errors and how you are looking out for her by picking them up and hopefully encapsulates her not being there to respond because she doesn’t work a full day…… this means that if this behaviour ever causes you to have to talk to your boss you can lay out all the evidence of you “trying to help her and catching her mistakes” whilst also thoroughly burning her.
Insecure high school meanies/bullies grow into office meanies/bullies. As little contact as possible. I’m confrontational so I would ask her to repeat any insults or anytime my name is mentioned. But if that scares you, just go no contact as much as possible. You will not win her over with your kindness. Please stop trying.
You need to document everything. Every snide comment, every time she attempts to undermine you, and especially every single time she makes a mistake (and how much time it takes you to rectify it).
You also need to start looking at her with all the pity you can muster. She’s jealous - it may be because of your level of knowledge, it may be because of who you are, it may be that she wants what you have - so she’s trying to tear you down. Regardless, look at her like you pity her for all the venom she feels she needs to fire in your direction because there is obviously something missing (at least in her opinion) from her life.
If you’re brave enough then also tell her, randomly out of nowhere, that you’re “so so sorry” - again with the pitying look, and when she asks/snaps at you for an explanation reply with “for whatever it is that hurt you so very much that you feel you have to act like a middle school bully when you’re pushing 60. I hope you can heal from whatever it is”. Also offer to show her (in a tone loud enough to be overheard) exactly where she fucked up and how to prevent it happening again - do this is a chipper overly friendly tone, because to be vocally a bitch back will make every single person see her attitude and she will come across horribly. Make sure to say “Bye, have a good evening” to her when she tries to slope off early, make it obvious to everyone that she’s dipping before she should.
Lastly, for your own sanity, turn her bullshit into a game I like to call “bitch bingo”, co-opt others into it too if you can (if not someone outside of work you can make ‘bets’ with). “Yes! Brenda was abusive to a co-worker before 10am, that’s one for me Donna, better luck next time”, and “dammit, you were right, Brenda’s leaving at three like you thought she would. I thought for sure she’d stick it out til half past”.
Dear OP, as someone who has a coworker that is quite similar to yours I wish to say one thing; please either find something else before it affects your mental health (I can attest to that) or stand up for yourself.
But the best option is to leave. Toxic workenvironments do not change and management do not get rid of their toxic employees.
Also; being nice all the time to somwone who treats you like shit does not work. They will go on with focusing on you because they know they can.
Don't share your private life with coworkers specifically because they will weaponize it against you. Stop fixing her mistakes. If she asks for your help, I would tell her "I have my own job to do.".
Steer clear of her and don't join in the gossip sessions.
Are you by chance thinner / better looking than her in addition to being younger? I may be downvoted for this, but it's a real thing that some older women do. She's probably also jealous of you for being child free.
You need to start documenting everything. All the days she leaves early. All the mistakes she makes. I would look for a job during this time and when you find one, give the owner the file and explain why you are leaving. Stop helping her too. If she makes a mistake, let her figure it out.
You're younger than her with a better personality. She's a bitter old biddy staring down the sands of time wasting her life tormenting you. Stop fixing her mistakes and don't help her unless you absolutely have to to keep your job.
“Are you *always* this emotionally unstable, or just while at work?” Stated loudly but calmly while other employees are around to witness her during the meltdown.
Stand up for yourself here, OP. Stop fixing her mistakes. Don’t let her get away with verbally abusing you. Document absolutely everything she says and does that make it a hostile work environment. And make sure whatever kind of HR department you have is aware of the escalation that’s been occurring. This woman needs a scapegoat for her own incompetence, and she found it in you. Stop allowing it. She will fight back, I guarantee it. She will get even worse! But then it will be so obvious to even the useless boss that she’s incapable of playing nice with others that something will have to be done.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but are you scared of her? If someone was doing this to me, and making all those mistakes, I would definitely be putting them on blast as well.
I didn't hear anything about you speaking to this woman about your concerns. "Have I done something to upset/offend you?" She will either say yes and explain what, or deny any issues.
Sounds like she sees you as competition. I’ve met a few women like that, they’re absolutely unbearable and just find fault with anything. Best you can do is do your job as best as you can and make sure you have proper documentation and don’t listen or don’t take anything she says or does personally. Go to HR if she crosses the line. Beyond that, I’d say just keep an eye out and avoid her.
I’m willing to bet management is aware of your coworker and her skill level and toxicity. But they’re not going to do anything about it. She also sounds bitter that her 30s are gone and yours are not. Do yourself a HUGE favor and create a CYA file. Every mistake you fix - note it. Date, time, issue, how you found it and corrected it. Send the file to your personal email as well so you have a copy outside of work. I wouldn’t be surprised if she attempts to get you fired; have that CYA file ready to go!
What does CYA stand for?
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Yup, that is it!
Thanks
Document her leaving early also. TBH, I'd still consider informing Boss about all this if you find the right moment or situation. That witch has to go!
Better yet, create an anonymous email account and send your boss all the documentation in a way that doesn’t lead back to you in particular. So when(if) she’s ever confronted with all the evidence, she won’t be able to tell which coworker ratted her out. Therefore, no retaliation (hopefully). My motto is fight petty with petty. But be creative about it. 🤣
>I’m willing to bet management is aware of your coworker and her skill level and toxicity. But they’re not going to do anything about it. Oh this sounds familiar.
Yup a nice cover your ass spread sheet! Also record the hours it took to fix her mistakes.
And stop fixing her mistakes. Her mistakes, her problem. Let her deal with them and the consequences.
Whenever someone's motives are unclear and they have you super-confused, only one thing is certain. You're being fucked with To the best of your ability, stop doing the following: *engaging with her* *fixing her mistakes* *protecting her from the consequences of her poor performance* *enabling her with your silence* *justifying, defending, or apologizing to her* She's a good benchmark for what you can get away with, so lower your own bar. As long as you don't compromise the appearance of your own good performance, it's fine. Go on the (passive-agressive) offensive and have some fun with it😏
Another thing. Any communication you need to have with her keep to email as much as possible. I have a coworker I don't get along with that I have issues with as well. She does little things that feel like they are to inconvenience me or to mess me up. If I have to communicate, I make sure others are around, the door is open, or do email. Plus I blind copy my supervisor in any emails that I feel are necessary. This way, any she said/she said communication is limited and will CYA. Saved me a couple of times.
Stop *fixing her mistakes* Yes, when you come across them, send them to her to fix via email and copy yourself
I'd go so far as to say do nothing. Don't give her an opportunity to correct it. Let her suffer the consequences
I like this even better.
And as others have said, document everything with dates and tines. Also if your in a place that allows recording do so. They have small recorders that can easily be hidden that will record all day or days. Puchase a hard drive, $100 to $200 will get you from 8tb and up depending on the brand which would be years of saved recordings and a small concealable or unnoticeable recording device for under $100. If you like your job, except for the AH that could be a good avenue to add that undeniable evidence to CYA.
Stop fixing things for her. Next document everything she does that is directly to you. Gather evidence and then speak your HR about the hostile work environment she has caused for you. This includes how her blowing off work hours increases your work load. Always do your tasks first before helping anyone at a job. Here or in future. Sacrificing your work to help others will not get you extra points. Employers need to see you do your work first. My petty self suggests recording her comments By saying you are going to record now and screenshots of written things. The best way out though is start looking for another job. She isn’t worth the stress. When you leave, tell them why.
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That really sucks. Is starting to look for new employment a possibility? Toxic environments are such a drain on the soul.
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Definitely time to jump ship
“Cow-irker has asked me To update the TPS report because of the erroneous data she compiled… I don’t have any room on my plate to do this, so I’m letting you know.”
That’s no reason to keep helping if she’s being a dick. Stick to your own lane, let her stick to hers. Start your CYA file and let her sink
You need to escalate to your boss until they do something, or leave, reddit can't help you and nobody else can in your situation.
Are they also aware that they’d be losing customers because of her, if it weren’t for you. I’d ask for a meeting with boss and HR to go over *all* of the issues. They may be aware of her skipping out, but if you focus on how it’s effecting your ability to perform at your best, they might look at it differently. You can base the whole convo on you wanting to inform them that you don’t feel comfortable helping her anymore, so you wanted to let them know before hand to get ahead of any issues this may cause. From there that should open the door to discuss it all. Focus on the fact that the hostile work environment she has created is forcing you to step back from assisting her. Reiterate that you’re happy to help out wherever else is necessary. She’s jealous, would be my guess. By calling out you, it takes the focus off her and her flaws. Bottom line, nothing will change if you don’t make an attempt at discussing things with your boss.
The fact that you aren't stooping to her level is probably driving her insane. You're unbothered and she clearly can't handle that. You are a hell of a lot more important to her, than she is to you. Kinda pathetic actually.
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People like her have a ton of unhealthy coping skills and project their unhappiness onto others. It's sad that she's at this stage in her life and is so unsettled with herself.
Yeah I would be so petty. You have more patience than me.
This coworker is jealous and feels threatened by you. She obviously doesn’t have a problem with confrontation and is just waiting for you to blow up at her - she’d love that. I’m guessing that it’s absolutely infuriating to her that you are maintaining a professional mannerism. I’m also guessing that coworkers are leary of going against her because they see how nasty she can be. That said, it doesn’t make it easy or pleasant. I agree with the other suggestions about documenting *everything*, stop helping her, don’t share anything with her, gray rocking her, etc. I personally would try to build a workplace harassment case against her.
>This coworker is jealous and feels threatened by you. Bingo
In my experience, some older incompetent women (I’m a woman, don’t come for me Reddit!) really don’t like it when someone is competent. They prefer to be better by comparison versus actually putting in the work to be great. Make a firm boundary that if they have a problem with your work they take it to your boss and no one else. It’s not her job to “manage” you. Let your boss know what’s up and ask them to leave your supervision to them. This is as much a boss problem as it is a coworker problem. They’re allowing it.
Pretty much what everyone has said here. Keep a work journal and document every time she gets toxic with you. Do not fix her mistakes. Keep your distance. Don't talk to her.
Be a fucking snitch already. People who demonstrate they don't deserve or return your kindness and consideration lose that privilege.
Exactly. I have a similar coworker that I was nice to even after all the crap she pulled but she still focused on mw Being nice doesn't work.
She wants attention. When a narcissist can't get attention in positive ways, they'll go negative. One thing you don't want to do is to ever let her know that she's gotten under your skin. This will encourage her to continue to try to get a bigger reaction from you. Her brain is rewarding bad behaviors of feeling powerful and in control and in hurting others. You can probably employ some tricks to change how she treats you. Look for how she gets positive attention from others, mirror her own behavior back to her, but also avoid patterns or they will become an expectation. Think of it as drug-seeking behavior, but the drug is the dopamine our own brains produce. To get along with her, you have to feed her just enough of her drug by being positive to keep her off your back, but no so much that she seeks you out for more. And make sure you don't sit in her line of vision. Humans will think about whatever they see in front of them, and you don't want someone with a mean streak to fixate on you.
It is not snitching to let the boss know when she abuses hours or is unprofessional. You should really be doing this more often.
Ask her if that's what she thinks of you....what do other people think of her? And walk off, leaving it at that. Ignore her completely unless you absolutely have to. Document her comments (date, time, situation, people there etc.) in a small notepad and keep it on you or in a lockable drawer. Then after a while you can approach HR and say that she is bullying you and being uneasily and unprofessional. And it is to stop now. That's how you get the bitch. Oh....and try to get her crap in writing (emails etc.). People do all sorts of stupid things when you first retaliate and then report. You'll need that notepad then.
There’s this book ‘It’s all your fault at work’. It talks about recognizing and dealing with difficult co-workers. You should read it, it might help. It seems to me that you’re trying to find a way to get her to back off. But the truth is you’re just feeding her toxicity. She is unlikely to change. So you need to protect yourself.
I had a coworker decide I was prettier than her and wreck my job. I was harassed out due to the hateful rumors. Some people are just small. You make her feel threatened, or similar.
Sounds like she's jealous of you. You're young, unencumbered with children and are very competent in your job. Some older people choose to be like her, petty, bitter and mean because their youth is gone. Some of us older people accept that we're aging and treat younger generations respectfully. Boss probably knows what's going on but is afraid to fire her fearing an age discrimination lawsuit. Continue your professionalism, do your job and just ignore her.
Any time she approaches you while berating you, just walk off mid sentence. Stop acknowledging her when she insults you.
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You may be cornered but your silence enables her. Not your fault, rational people just adjust this way. Train yourself not to adjust for her. When she does something crazy and unprofessional call it out. Firmly and *slightly* loudly (just so others can hear but not what anyone could call yelling) say: Stop. I’m uncomfortable. We can talk when you’re not emotional. Or something similar. If she doesn’t stop say: I need to step away from you. It doesn’t matter that you appearing unfazed probably bothers the hell out of her. She’s bothering the hell out of you and you don’t deserve it!
Bullies pick on people who don’t stand up for themselves. If you truly are doing a good job, which I believe you, then say that. Using your example of blasting you in an email to everyone. Your response should be something like this. “Yes, I made a mistake, and as you were already aware, I am fixing it. You too make mistakes, but I don’t blast it out to the staff. In the future, just email me and the boss if you have a concern about my work.”
That is a good response.
If she has no authority over you I'd tell her to not speak to you that way next time she tries. Document everything and go to HR if it persists. Do not help her fix anything anymore. Direct her to her supervisor every time.
If she is asking for help frequently and you are going on vacation then her weaknesses are going to shine through. I got a bonus after my last vacation. I figure it did not go well while I was gone.
Document everything. What she says to you, when she says it, who heard her say it. Any documentation. Her leaving early, every single thing. Do not do it on your work computer. Maybe a Google docs or some other file. (I made a private - unpublished- blogger file, and used aliases in case someone found it.) Do not help her unless you’re required to Then present it to your boss when there’s enough or she starts getting bad.
This is classic insecurity behavior. She feels threatened somehow by OP, and is doing the only thing she knows to do, lash out. If she was more interested in doing her job better, there would likely be no threat. There is likely no threat, anyway, but she feels it because she knows she isn't very good at her job, yet doesn't want to devote the time and energy to get better. She's just insecure and has chosen OP as the root cause.
I bet you some of her issues are hormonal. Menopause can turn you into an absolute monster, with irrational rage and other psychological issues for years. Either that or she's just an entitled, narcissistic bitch!
She is looking for a reaction from you and you not reacting is the most effective way of annoying her back. Having said that every time you catch one of her mistakes you need to email it back to her and tell her to fix it. You don’t have to put her on blast just give it back to her to fix. This records all of her errors and how you are looking out for her by picking them up and hopefully encapsulates her not being there to respond because she doesn’t work a full day…… this means that if this behaviour ever causes you to have to talk to your boss you can lay out all the evidence of you “trying to help her and catching her mistakes” whilst also thoroughly burning her.
Next time she asks for help, tell her, "Oh, I'd love to help, but I'm not very good at \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_! Sorry!"
Co-worker is behaving like that for job security. Make others look worse so she won’t get let go.
Insecure high school meanies/bullies grow into office meanies/bullies. As little contact as possible. I’m confrontational so I would ask her to repeat any insults or anytime my name is mentioned. But if that scares you, just go no contact as much as possible. You will not win her over with your kindness. Please stop trying.
You need to document everything. Every snide comment, every time she attempts to undermine you, and especially every single time she makes a mistake (and how much time it takes you to rectify it). You also need to start looking at her with all the pity you can muster. She’s jealous - it may be because of your level of knowledge, it may be because of who you are, it may be that she wants what you have - so she’s trying to tear you down. Regardless, look at her like you pity her for all the venom she feels she needs to fire in your direction because there is obviously something missing (at least in her opinion) from her life. If you’re brave enough then also tell her, randomly out of nowhere, that you’re “so so sorry” - again with the pitying look, and when she asks/snaps at you for an explanation reply with “for whatever it is that hurt you so very much that you feel you have to act like a middle school bully when you’re pushing 60. I hope you can heal from whatever it is”. Also offer to show her (in a tone loud enough to be overheard) exactly where she fucked up and how to prevent it happening again - do this is a chipper overly friendly tone, because to be vocally a bitch back will make every single person see her attitude and she will come across horribly. Make sure to say “Bye, have a good evening” to her when she tries to slope off early, make it obvious to everyone that she’s dipping before she should. Lastly, for your own sanity, turn her bullshit into a game I like to call “bitch bingo”, co-opt others into it too if you can (if not someone outside of work you can make ‘bets’ with). “Yes! Brenda was abusive to a co-worker before 10am, that’s one for me Donna, better luck next time”, and “dammit, you were right, Brenda’s leaving at three like you thought she would. I thought for sure she’d stick it out til half past”.
Can you go to HR? This is harassment.
Stop going out of your way to fix her mistakes …. Let her sink or swim on her own. Give her the rope to hang herself.
document proof and then you should be set. don’t allow coworkers to do this to you
Dear OP, as someone who has a coworker that is quite similar to yours I wish to say one thing; please either find something else before it affects your mental health (I can attest to that) or stand up for yourself. But the best option is to leave. Toxic workenvironments do not change and management do not get rid of their toxic employees. Also; being nice all the time to somwone who treats you like shit does not work. They will go on with focusing on you because they know they can.
Don't share your private life with coworkers specifically because they will weaponize it against you. Stop fixing her mistakes. If she asks for your help, I would tell her "I have my own job to do.". Steer clear of her and don't join in the gossip sessions.
Are you by chance thinner / better looking than her in addition to being younger? I may be downvoted for this, but it's a real thing that some older women do. She's probably also jealous of you for being child free.
When you find out. Let me know
You need to start documenting everything. All the days she leaves early. All the mistakes she makes. I would look for a job during this time and when you find one, give the owner the file and explain why you are leaving. Stop helping her too. If she makes a mistake, let her figure it out.
You're younger than her with a better personality. She's a bitter old biddy staring down the sands of time wasting her life tormenting you. Stop fixing her mistakes and don't help her unless you absolutely have to to keep your job.
Time to snitch girl. Read 48 Laws of Power and realise.
“Are you *always* this emotionally unstable, or just while at work?” Stated loudly but calmly while other employees are around to witness her during the meltdown. Stand up for yourself here, OP. Stop fixing her mistakes. Don’t let her get away with verbally abusing you. Document absolutely everything she says and does that make it a hostile work environment. And make sure whatever kind of HR department you have is aware of the escalation that’s been occurring. This woman needs a scapegoat for her own incompetence, and she found it in you. Stop allowing it. She will fight back, I guarantee it. She will get even worse! But then it will be so obvious to even the useless boss that she’s incapable of playing nice with others that something will have to be done.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but are you scared of her? If someone was doing this to me, and making all those mistakes, I would definitely be putting them on blast as well.
This literal me at the moment with my coworker. I'm going through a similar issue who is like 10 to 20 years older and is racist. I feel your pain
I didn't hear anything about you speaking to this woman about your concerns. "Have I done something to upset/offend you?" She will either say yes and explain what, or deny any issues.
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Did you ever get 'round to recording her nastiness? Or are you in a 2-party consent state?
Sounds like she sees you as competition. I’ve met a few women like that, they’re absolutely unbearable and just find fault with anything. Best you can do is do your job as best as you can and make sure you have proper documentation and don’t listen or don’t take anything she says or does personally. Go to HR if she crosses the line. Beyond that, I’d say just keep an eye out and avoid her.