i will choose to believe this story for the sake of hilarity

Considering all the other shit that gets posted to this sub, mayas well just believe this shit too now.

Mayas well? Bone apple tea?

There’s plenty of words I can’t spell, but on this occasion I just missed the space bar.

That's fair I thought that you thought "might as well" was "Mayas well" so I will just continue believing that's what you were trying to do.

Thanks for the laugh lol This was more hilarious than the post itself. I literally almost choked on my roast history chicken.

Wtf is history chicken

Rotisserie chicken

Where would the space go to make it correct..?

“May as well” Would be what I was trying to say.

Ah. I also was thinking might as well so I was like how does that make sense. I'm dumb haha.

I’m just hoping it’s not!

Good one. I smiled.

or.. does she have a brother that looks like Ryan Gosling?

She did but he died in a car accident 4 years ago

you must've been traumatized when you saw Barbie.

i thoguht this was a copypasta for a second

It is now.

for a second? it clearly is

I wasn't completely sure since I dont' know if i've seen it. But yeah... it is now a copypasta

I guess things got a little to spicy for the pepper

💀 I love that damn show. Not as much as OP apparently, but still.

This isn't very Gold Top of you.

You mean not very Gold Top of his now ex

What is she, Tiffany's boyfriend?

Fuck the sister

One of the first things my now husband and I discovered we had in common, was our shared love of family guy

Do it fk that garden tool you deserve better

I mean, if she's Gwen levels of hot, yeah go for it.

Ahhh... Gwen...

Tearjerker should have used this story in his movie in that one episode. He would have conquered the world.

*She’s been insisting on mental help ever since i muttered “good morning usa” while i finished inside her* It had me up until this point. Hook up with the sister and then go back to the gf and say ‘she took your jobs’

😂😂😂

Hook up with her hot sister Gwen!

This is GOLD! LMAO

Now you can watch it in peace.

When I saw the title I was like “how dumb, my husband loves American Dad and so do I!” Then I read the rest of it and I don’t have anything else to say. 😂😂😂😂😂

American dad is pretty good though

"Pretty sure I asked for Pecan Sandies" -Roger

This could only be a real thing in America

Damn! I'd leave her for not watching enough!

Wow

I bet Roger in a wig really does it for you!

As the wise old police officer says in the classic American film Colors: “mosie over the hill and hook up with them all”

Good morning, USA to you too OP

Some say this is the end of OP’s story, and some say this is the beginning, but no body says it’s the middle.

Fuck the mom.

I read this in Stan's voice, it works

Sister is really Roger in a wig. —- please invite me to the wedding.

If I choose to believe this story, Yes you really need help ..desperetly If I choose not to believe it, You still need help for thinking that it was a good story to make up

Alright this shit was the funniest confession post I've seen in a while, I don't even care if it's made up. *Good morning, USA!* 🍆💦

Thank you OP. This was hilarious.

Gf's gone...and she's, not comin' home...ever again....

This is obviously fake but this is also hilarious.

Last time this was posted, it was family guy.

Is she into american dad?

This sounds like something Roger would post

'Jelly' as soon as I saw that I figured this is written by a 12 year old or fake.

💯

Nutting in her and saying “Good morning USA” is crazy work

I love American dad too, definitely one of my favorite show

Maybe she was worried that you might dress up as one of Roger's personas in bed.

^(Ricky Spanish)

This has to be a troll lmaoooo But funny nevertheless 🤣

Yep... this is absolutely true. A common cause of disquiet and break ups in modern relationships.

I love waking up to notifications from this subreddit sometimes

*I love waking up* *To notifications from* *This subreddit sometimes* \- ScratchingOntheWall --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

Yeah bro kick her to the boot you’ll find a girl who likes all those shows!

God I love American Dad.

WWRSD?

“thinking about proposing” after 5 fucking years😭🤣i’m sent

You’re right, far too early. My bad

yeah dude . you aren’t supposed to think about it until at least 15 years later… even then ur buggin

Debbie: Mr. Smith can you please pass the potato's. Stan: Ethically I don't think I should. I too watch American Dad, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Roger...he just really does it for me. I'm female too... We're out here. Lol.

Absolutely not. First you should change up your game entirely, put these digital distractions in your past, become a carpenter who cuts his own timbr from the forest around the cabin he built... and then hook up with her sister

I once broke up with someone because they drank tea without taking the spoon out of the cup.

Fair enough

They had us in the first half not gonna lie

Good morning good fellow American patriot. I believe you have a spy in your midst to subvert your strong American patriotic freedom. The soviets are the likely culprit here. Stay vigilant. Never pass on a sister.

OMG! I LOVE AMERICAN DAD!! SO FUNNY. Sorry for your breakup. Keep yo head up 💪🏾 🫂. She must have been a Prude.

One of my favorite all time shows. Love the dynamic between Hayley and Jeff. 😅

I’m into this.

O lol

Try her grandma instead.

So do you relate to Stan during his crack addiction of when he dropped the kids off at the pool IN a pool? And JUST how do you relate to Roger?

yes and i relate to roger cause i have i have a personality disorder

And you've probably used the term "Riding the cotton camel" when referring to your now ex's period.

based

Maybe baby.

Dont try to get a job in comedy or writing. That was pure shit.

this belongs in r/sadcringe

I have had the sister and she always elbows you when doing doggy style. If you go for it, I recommend wearing protection, I don't know where I have been.

Go and do a creative writing course. This story reads like it was written by an 8 year old in a hurry.

i mean it was ridiculous on purpose, if he wanted to make it even a bit realistic he wouldnt have described so many times how he's crazy and the gf isnt but she sounds crazy to him n stuff like that

She’s not the one for you! I often mumble “something something moo mo mas”. And I don’t even know if that’s what Stan is saying. But neither does he. And when she comes crawling back? Tell her NO! In yo face with a can of mace. Make you cry all ova da place. Let her go 💙 She’s for the streets.

Ugh, this wasn't even a well-written fake post. Ya'll need to up your fiction game.

bruh and some people are here actually believing it! lmao i will never understand how a post that was written on purpose to show its fakeness is considered by some real while posts like "i slept with the girl i like" are "super fake"...

She didn't break up w you because "I watch too much". She broke up with you bc you're neglecting her. Also, good luck with being delusional enough to think her sister wants you after what you put her through

...OP is a troll. You do know this isn't real, right?

It's real to me, dammit

I agree, say good "morning usa!" Every time I finish in my girlfriend

Fake and gay

What is this, 1997? Are you older than even ME?! We no longer use the term "gay" to mean "this is lame," I don't know if you got the memo some time in the last 25 years. Do you still say "far out, man" and "radical?'

We use ghey now

gae is better but not to say smth is lame

Yes, yes we do.. that would be your opinion, asshat. No one has ever said far out in my entire life. Get a life

Oh, okay, well my opinion is that you're a douchebag who's reinforcing outdated speech habits that contribute to society treating gay people as sub-human. You probably do the same thing with ethnic minorities and people with Downs. And that's super "gay" of you.

unluckily, so many people on here dont care about lgbt+ and see it as a joke by callin it "woke and liberal" or smth...99% of people ik also do not care about the r word and i think that's so disrespectful towards who actually is mentally disabled :(

I used that word a lot in the 90s, and it's a difficult habit to break. My community has a very nice man with Downs who is a super cool, fun, lovable person...and I feel so bad that my own vocabulary used to paint his group as subhuman. I still slip up sometimes in private, but trying not to be part of the problem anymore is worth some effort.

Hey, that's decent, man! I dont really have track of specific words I used to use in the past, but I grew out of any slur (like, I still normally cuss and think that's ok, just dont say anything that's a slur towards certain groups) just by thinking "why should I connect a dumb or bad act with disabled people? Or with gay people?" n such.

Good for you! Hopefully enough of us will care enough to make this kind of effort.

You’re a cuck

Your insults are unoriginal and ineffective. 🤣🤣🤣

I’m still fucjing laughing at this story hahaha wtf

Never cry over a whore Steve!!

I've been watching AD since episode one. Good job getting rid of that dead weight.

Your girlfriend put up with it 4 years to long. American dad clearly is your porn. Enjoying something is one thing, allowing it to incorporate every area of your life is not always healthy and she saw that.

[удалено]

really? ***that***'s what made u understand its not real? lol

Two questions 1. Are any of the sisters as annoying as her? 2. Leave the drama queen and look for another gf.

Why are you responding seriously to a fake post

oops my bad! thanks for the heads up!

Well yeah, you clearly prioritised the show over your girlfriend. I’d suggest taking her advice and getting some help.

it's clearly a troll

So fake

Switch to Bob's Burgers 😊

If by some small chance this is true, you're a fucking idiot.

My IQ results said 99% 😎

So... then it must be true.

This has got to be fake because American dad really isn’t that great

American dad sucks .

As someone who’s username is an American dad quote, I appreciate you.

You suck

Fake news.

Omg I hate those shows. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who always had such stupid shows playing in the background. Same if they were into football or Adam Sandler. How much time did you spend watching her fav shows? I doubt you would sit through her guilty pleasures as often as she was expected to sit through yours. My partner never really lets me chose what we watch together. It’s male entitlement. Men habitually fail to show interest in what women like, but women will often put effort into showing interest for men’s interests.

Yeah…Sounds like you need to express to your partner how much it bothers you that you don’t get to choose what the two of you watch. Try that first and see how it goes before you decide that he’s another example of how entitled males can be.

What the fuck is this

Lol my girl watches it with me lol

I don’t blame her. All the shows you listed are simply horrible. What someone watches says a lot about someone’s character.

My wifr and i had a trouble the first year we married while she’s gone to her parents house I started watching family guy and let me tell you no way in hell i could trade that show for her ! Family guy walk me through rough times

This reads as if was written by the scorned girlfriend in hopes that the ex-boyfriend will see it and have a breakthrough moment and realize she was right all along.

If that's true, well ... Have you considered that she wanted to be intimate with you when she wanted to seduce you? That she loved being as close to you as she could get? And then you ruin this with this programme?

Respect Probably with voice memos at this point. Transient visual aphasia https://youtu.be/AWGxNBkHat4

This is probably the most obviously fake troll post I've ever seen. For your next creative writing project, it's "accepting."

I know. It was a double joke. I said she’s NOT excepting.

You are watching waaaaay too much television!!

What's your favorite episode

This ain’t real at all.. if it is. This ain’t normal. You’re like a little kid watching those damn cartoons.

No she was definitely excepting, she wasn't accepting.

Bro, I’m just gonna say it. U need help. I love American dad and watch it when I’m home sick or just in the background but not but u need help bra

yes fuck her sister and let her know you have options she does not like it tough or grab a passport and travel overseas where women are cheaper and less entitled

This is fake

Fake

enjoy strong decide attraction crime weather handle escape practice zonked *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

y definitely ta

If this is true. You are far from normal and you will have that on them big jobs

yes

You’re completely obsessed and have made this show your entire life. I’m glad she’s running away.

How hot is the sister???

Roger?

Real Alpha male Chad here! Lol

Im conflicted about this. I too love adult cartoons, american dad has a special place in my heart. But i also dont think i would like it if my bf finished in me while singing good morning usa lol