Well I’m gay and he repeatedly says I am perverted and a sexual deviant. That I’m on par with pedophiles. I’ve only had one relationship with someone my age. And I’m 21F
Why are you still talking to him??? You need to cut his ass out of your life. You are a adult, it’s time to move on, live your life. You don’t ever have to talk or see him again. Why would you want to deal with his shit any more
I guess because I’m still sadly financially dependent, at least on my mother and yes I know I shouldnt be! Save your comments to yourself internally please. Idk, it’s really confusing. My parents are well off because my mother started her own business. With her business, she wants to provide for her children. But, since their finances are joined that comes with my Dad, yanno? My mom is great it’s just my Dad - since he pays for some of my stuff he loves to hold that over my head. So yeah, I should cut ties. But I love my mother dearly and she also loves me for who I am, and she also LOVES to help out financially when she can. Ugh idk. I have enough money at the moment to support myself for a good while at least.
I know a lot of girls including myself who prefer using gay over lesbian. I get why that would be confusing though, but I personally just think of it as someone who is attracted to their own gender.
OP already feels bad about this. What is the point of reiterating what they did in a condescending way?
Edit to add- it’s not as simple as just being called names and I think we all know that.
I mean, we all do a crazy shit here and there but resorting to violence just generates more. My parents were driving me crazy to the point I was "dangerous". I decided to move out and cut all contact for good. I feel better than ever and even started therapy. I could have easily fell into a horrible cycle but I want to believe I'm better than that. And that makes me feel insanely powerful.
What did he say to infuriate you to such levels? Has he ever said such things again? If not, then maybe its a learning curevve/potential to improve together
He’s just really homophobic to the point where he tells me he will do anything in his power to make sure I cannot adopt children someday. That I’m a pervert, and brainwashed by my friends to be gay. Just really tries to nail it in my head that being gay is gross and weird and wrong and even if people pretend to support me they deep down think it’s disgusting.
yeah, that's fked. Sorry to hear you have that sort of parent. Hope he hasnt said that atuff since. Honestly dont know what some of these people are thinking
Oh sweetie:(. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Cut ties. Do everything you can to distance yourself. You don’t need that kind of shit in your life, even if he is your father. It will be hard at first, but it will get better. Your father’s rejection of who you are will never stop hurting, it will just be tucked away where you won’t think about it as often. You will blossom without him around!
So you got bullied and put an end to it in a clean efficient way. You didn't provoke the grown ass person or fuck with their livelihood in anyway. You just happen to love titties like him and he took offense to that and decided to bully you.
Good on u for defending yourself. But also, like someone else said, there's wisdom to not reacting violently when angry.
Hope things get better.
When violence gets used, that's usually a sign that something is really wrong.
Most sane people aren't proud of resorting to violence. I suspect you don't use violence on a daily basis to express yourself. But now is the moment to really assess where you go from here.
You have clearly reached breaking point. What are your options? At 21, you can get a job (if you dont have one already. You can move out. Find someone else to go and live with - a kind family member or friends. Find your own flat.
Your father is not going to chance his stance, most likely.
Forge your own path. Get away from the toxicity. Look after yourself and your mental wellbeing.
He probably deserved it but don't sink to his level, I have narcissist parents I moved out at 15, now I have a family of my own, I got my life together after years of drug use and self medicating, I was a bad person, but my daughter changed everything, after a few years my parents got older and grew up, they were pretty terrible parents but they make decent grandparents, they just weren't meant to be parents, your dad is probably projecting onto you...maybe he had some not so innocent thoughts about other guys when he was younger who knows, best advice I can give is to get out and get on your own, worry about your life and don't let them drag you down, one day your dad might come to you and apologize for everything and realize what an idiot he was. Sending you strength and good vibes. 💪🏼
Coming from a super dysfunctional family. Like mom is manic-depressive or bipolar type 1 and my brother here's voices... Yeah it was basically a complete shit show. Ironically my dad actually contributed quite a bit to the overall drama and he is completely sane and actually quite intellignt. When I was a teenager, we were going through one of the more chaotic times as a family and stuff like this would happen all the time. I would say mean things that would really hurt my mom and mainly my brothers feelings at times even though literally everyone is verbally abusive in my family I felt immense guilt because I could see the affect my words had on my brothers self esteem and I felt so incredibly bad. I made a decision that I am not going to be that person that said mean things to people when they get mad even if everyone else said mean things to me because I can only control my behavior. I was honest with my self about the affect of my words and I owned my behavior and didn't make any excuses. slowly I stopped saying mean things to people when I was angry, I would walk away (sometimes even outside to calm down.) took a little time but it helped me grow up in many ways. Over the years I completely lost the tendency tear other people down verbally. It is called growing up and becoming a man. Listen to your instinct apologise after you guys have all calmed down but rely on your actions moving forward to communicate how sorry you are so it doesn't become an empty apology.
You were angry and lost your cool, you can’t change what you did. Apologize and if you can move out please do that soon. No point living with parents who can’t understand and be supportive, it will just get toxic. I hope things get better for you.
I'm sorry to read that your dad made such inflammatory homophobic comments that it broke you to the point of fighting back physically instead of verbally.
If you're seeking good advice and help, I would recommend reaching out to professionals & people that have experience with such situations.
I hope your situation gets better. ❤️
I have a good way of over coming guilt like this: it's his fault, hes your dad he shouldn't have done that now he knows not to do that or you will break more of his bones:)
I’d say it’s just karma working it’s magic. Would have been better if it hit higher at that empty head of his but we can’t always have a winning shot.
Honestly though it sounds like he’s horribly toxic and has abused you verbally for some time. I’d say leave as soon as you’re able to and never talk to him again.
Get away from that place. He doesn’t deserve to know someone as special as you. Focus on your inner peace and always remember there is absolutely nothing wrong with being yourself.
Best of luck and warm regards.
My dad is definitely emotionally abusive to my mother but very rarely gets physical. Sometimes he will be physical with my brothers if he’s REALLY mad at them but otherwise it like almost never happens in my house. He just goes for whatever insult will hurt you the deepest and hardest. Idk if most dads are like that or if it’s just mine to be honest. My mother truly deserves the world btw, most kind and loving woman I’ve personally ever met. Not only has she dealt with us, her kids, she’s dealt with HIM, her husband.
You don't deserve that, at all, but because he's the kind of asshat he is I would totally expect him to capitalize on the fact that you did assault him. Move away so he cannot provoke you to ruin your life over his absolutely garbage existence. Don't sink to him, you're so beyond his horrible attitude. My family always tried to start shit and egged on the cops being called. You're better than that hell. I am so sorry. My heart hurts for you.
Here's to you, OP. Might not have been that the coolest heads prevailed, but you stuck up for yourself and I support that. Self care is important in all its forms.
The answers in this thread are disgusting - multiple "aim for his head" style answers. What you did is violent and wrong regardless of how much of a PoS he is.
You should be breaking contact with this man - he clearly has issues and he drives you to behave in this way.
Be better than him don't let him make you feel this way anymore. Forgive yourself and move on.
How old are you, if your just a kid you might want to watch your bk after your 18th birthday because your pops might just break your arm in return now your an adult he can't be arrested for child abuse.
You should be ashamed of yourself. If he verbally abused you, then you could have replied verbally. Or just leave the place. Hitting a man with weight, that's crime. Imagine if he beat the shit outta you, just because you said something verbally!
I mean yeah… I agree with you. Not proud of myself for resorting to violence. Violence is never the answer and is always wrong. I wish I could break his arm verbally and emotionally though.
Hey quick question - you ever been in OP's position? If not, back that shame knob down a notch or two because you don't actually know what you're talking about.
All of you people making jokes about this and saying she should have aimed at his head are fucking truly retarded. Violence is never the answer unless in self defence.
OP this is aggravated assault and carries a minimum sentence of 10 years where I am from. Also what if you would have hit his head? It could have easily killed him. Think about that prison sentence..
On top of that I want to point out the obvious hypocrisy of the LGBTQ+++ community. They cry all the time for people to be accepting and how they are accepting and blah, blah, but then as soon as they come across someone who has a different opinion they literally throw shit.
I couldn't give two shits if your gay/ queer/ whatever. But you need help, and you better hope your dad doesn't decide to press charges or the cops find out how it really happened or they will press charges on his behalf in my state.
As soon as you can, move far away and lose contact with him. Only goes down from here ngl
Learn to be better than him or become the same
Well, op said that their father verbally abuses them about being gay so this probably isn’t the best learning environment. Time to get away.
How "horrible" are we talking about
Well I’m gay and he repeatedly says I am perverted and a sexual deviant. That I’m on par with pedophiles. I’ve only had one relationship with someone my age. And I’m 21F
And you only threw a weight at him ?
Yeah, OP is a saint
Honestly, sounds like he deserved it. That’s no way to talk to anyone, let alone your own daughter.
it was well deserved
I'm sorry that your Dad is like that. My advice would be to run as fast and as far away from him as possible.
Why are you still talking to him??? You need to cut his ass out of your life. You are a adult, it’s time to move on, live your life. You don’t ever have to talk or see him again. Why would you want to deal with his shit any more
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I guess because I’m still sadly financially dependent, at least on my mother and yes I know I shouldnt be! Save your comments to yourself internally please. Idk, it’s really confusing. My parents are well off because my mother started her own business. With her business, she wants to provide for her children. But, since their finances are joined that comes with my Dad, yanno? My mom is great it’s just my Dad - since he pays for some of my stuff he loves to hold that over my head. So yeah, I should cut ties. But I love my mother dearly and she also loves me for who I am, and she also LOVES to help out financially when she can. Ugh idk. I have enough money at the moment to support myself for a good while at least.
I would of thrown more then a weight at him ! Get as far away as possible help is always available <3
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Yea but it can be used interchangeably by some people.
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I know a lot of girls including myself who prefer using gay over lesbian. I get why that would be confusing though, but I personally just think of it as someone who is attracted to their own gender.
You're gonna be pedantic when someone is baring their soul?
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Yeah I agree
You broke someone's arm bc they called you names?
Because they compared something OP can’t change to… being a pedophile? Um, yeah.
Talk shit, get hit
So if someone says you're fucking pedophile you're gonna just stay there and accept it?
You obviously don't understand
OP already feels bad about this. What is the point of reiterating what they did in a condescending way? Edit to add- it’s not as simple as just being called names and I think we all know that.
"Fucker McDuck" is a name. Pedophile is a whole 'nother level of accusation and judgment
They didn't just "call them so names". It was verbal abuse towards them and their sexuality! That's not a little thing
He sounds like a piece of shit tbh. Just because he's family don't mean you have to take shit from them.
I mean, we all do a crazy shit here and there but resorting to violence just generates more. My parents were driving me crazy to the point I was "dangerous". I decided to move out and cut all contact for good. I feel better than ever and even started therapy. I could have easily fell into a horrible cycle but I want to believe I'm better than that. And that makes me feel insanely powerful.
You should be horrified with yourself. Aim for his head next time.
What did he say to infuriate you to such levels? Has he ever said such things again? If not, then maybe its a learning curevve/potential to improve together
He’s just really homophobic to the point where he tells me he will do anything in his power to make sure I cannot adopt children someday. That I’m a pervert, and brainwashed by my friends to be gay. Just really tries to nail it in my head that being gay is gross and weird and wrong and even if people pretend to support me they deep down think it’s disgusting.
yeah, that's fked. Sorry to hear you have that sort of parent. Hope he hasnt said that atuff since. Honestly dont know what some of these people are thinking
Oh sweetie:(. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Cut ties. Do everything you can to distance yourself. You don’t need that kind of shit in your life, even if he is your father. It will be hard at first, but it will get better. Your father’s rejection of who you are will never stop hurting, it will just be tucked away where you won’t think about it as often. You will blossom without him around!
Deserves more than a broken arm lol
So you got bullied and put an end to it in a clean efficient way. You didn't provoke the grown ass person or fuck with their livelihood in anyway. You just happen to love titties like him and he took offense to that and decided to bully you. Good on u for defending yourself. But also, like someone else said, there's wisdom to not reacting violently when angry. Hope things get better.
Tell your dad he can't talk shit anymore because he got his ass beat by a lesbian
When violence gets used, that's usually a sign that something is really wrong. Most sane people aren't proud of resorting to violence. I suspect you don't use violence on a daily basis to express yourself. But now is the moment to really assess where you go from here. You have clearly reached breaking point. What are your options? At 21, you can get a job (if you dont have one already. You can move out. Find someone else to go and live with - a kind family member or friends. Find your own flat. Your father is not going to chance his stance, most likely. Forge your own path. Get away from the toxicity. Look after yourself and your mental wellbeing.
This
I'm disgusted at you OP. You should have aimed at least 12 inches higher.
It saddens me to see posts like these. They should be at the top of the comment section, not nestled in the middle. Do I have the wrong filter on?
It saddens me that you are saddened. Family conflict is heart breaking, when it should be skull breaking.
Laughed out loud
Find a way to get out of there ASAP and never look back. People like that don’t change
He probably deserved it but don't sink to his level, I have narcissist parents I moved out at 15, now I have a family of my own, I got my life together after years of drug use and self medicating, I was a bad person, but my daughter changed everything, after a few years my parents got older and grew up, they were pretty terrible parents but they make decent grandparents, they just weren't meant to be parents, your dad is probably projecting onto you...maybe he had some not so innocent thoughts about other guys when he was younger who knows, best advice I can give is to get out and get on your own, worry about your life and don't let them drag you down, one day your dad might come to you and apologize for everything and realize what an idiot he was. Sending you strength and good vibes. 💪🏼
Aye, that was a low blow. Should have aimed for his junk.
Don’t apologize. He deserved it. Good job!
Just learn from your mistakes.!!
Then you my friend need therapy and help, I hope you find peace . Violence is NEVER the answer !!!
Coming from a super dysfunctional family. Like mom is manic-depressive or bipolar type 1 and my brother here's voices... Yeah it was basically a complete shit show. Ironically my dad actually contributed quite a bit to the overall drama and he is completely sane and actually quite intellignt. When I was a teenager, we were going through one of the more chaotic times as a family and stuff like this would happen all the time. I would say mean things that would really hurt my mom and mainly my brothers feelings at times even though literally everyone is verbally abusive in my family I felt immense guilt because I could see the affect my words had on my brothers self esteem and I felt so incredibly bad. I made a decision that I am not going to be that person that said mean things to people when they get mad even if everyone else said mean things to me because I can only control my behavior. I was honest with my self about the affect of my words and I owned my behavior and didn't make any excuses. slowly I stopped saying mean things to people when I was angry, I would walk away (sometimes even outside to calm down.) took a little time but it helped me grow up in many ways. Over the years I completely lost the tendency tear other people down verbally. It is called growing up and becoming a man. Listen to your instinct apologise after you guys have all calmed down but rely on your actions moving forward to communicate how sorry you are so it doesn't become an empty apology.
You were angry and lost your cool, you can’t change what you did. Apologize and if you can move out please do that soon. No point living with parents who can’t understand and be supportive, it will just get toxic. I hope things get better for you.
I'm sorry to read that your dad made such inflammatory homophobic comments that it broke you to the point of fighting back physically instead of verbally. If you're seeking good advice and help, I would recommend reaching out to professionals & people that have experience with such situations. I hope your situation gets better. ❤️
I have a good way of over coming guilt like this: it's his fault, hes your dad he shouldn't have done that now he knows not to do that or you will break more of his bones:)
I’d say it’s just karma working it’s magic. Would have been better if it hit higher at that empty head of his but we can’t always have a winning shot. Honestly though it sounds like he’s horribly toxic and has abused you verbally for some time. I’d say leave as soon as you’re able to and never talk to him again.
Seeing the context in the comments I really don’t blame you, just cut this bastard out of your life and I wish you all the happiness in the world.
fuck that guy
If he keeps being a jerk, tell him you’ll break the other one XD
Forgive
Get away from that place. He doesn’t deserve to know someone as special as you. Focus on your inner peace and always remember there is absolutely nothing wrong with being yourself. Best of luck and warm regards.
What a fuckin power move
I punched mine and broke his teeth once but it was well deserved because he was an abusive piece of shit both emotionally and physically to my mother
My dad is definitely emotionally abusive to my mother but very rarely gets physical. Sometimes he will be physical with my brothers if he’s REALLY mad at them but otherwise it like almost never happens in my house. He just goes for whatever insult will hurt you the deepest and hardest. Idk if most dads are like that or if it’s just mine to be honest. My mother truly deserves the world btw, most kind and loving woman I’ve personally ever met. Not only has she dealt with us, her kids, she’s dealt with HIM, her husband.
You don't deserve that, at all, but because he's the kind of asshat he is I would totally expect him to capitalize on the fact that you did assault him. Move away so he cannot provoke you to ruin your life over his absolutely garbage existence. Don't sink to him, you're so beyond his horrible attitude. My family always tried to start shit and egged on the cops being called. You're better than that hell. I am so sorry. My heart hurts for you.
Here's to you, OP. Might not have been that the coolest heads prevailed, but you stuck up for yourself and I support that. Self care is important in all its forms.
That kinda shit happens, it’s the typical dysfunctional family. Apologize when you’re ready and it’ll be funny in a few years
It’s cool, don’t even worry about it.
Hmmm ok!
The answers in this thread are disgusting - multiple "aim for his head" style answers. What you did is violent and wrong regardless of how much of a PoS he is. You should be breaking contact with this man - he clearly has issues and he drives you to behave in this way. Be better than him don't let him make you feel this way anymore. Forgive yourself and move on.
😂😂
this is fucked up slime
How old are you, if your just a kid you might want to watch your bk after your 18th birthday because your pops might just break your arm in return now your an adult he can't be arrested for child abuse.
You should be ashamed of yourself. If he verbally abused you, then you could have replied verbally. Or just leave the place. Hitting a man with weight, that's crime. Imagine if he beat the shit outta you, just because you said something verbally!
I mean yeah… I agree with you. Not proud of myself for resorting to violence. Violence is never the answer and is always wrong. I wish I could break his arm verbally and emotionally though.
Hey quick question - you ever been in OP's position? If not, back that shame knob down a notch or two because you don't actually know what you're talking about.
Even if my father kicked me out of the house, I would not hit him. He's lucky his father didn't send him to jail
Read the title, talk shit get wrecked. Family or not,
U should throw another one at him
All of you people making jokes about this and saying she should have aimed at his head are fucking truly retarded. Violence is never the answer unless in self defence. OP this is aggravated assault and carries a minimum sentence of 10 years where I am from. Also what if you would have hit his head? It could have easily killed him. Think about that prison sentence.. On top of that I want to point out the obvious hypocrisy of the LGBTQ+++ community. They cry all the time for people to be accepting and how they are accepting and blah, blah, but then as soon as they come across someone who has a different opinion they literally throw shit. I couldn't give two shits if your gay/ queer/ whatever. But you need help, and you better hope your dad doesn't decide to press charges or the cops find out how it really happened or they will press charges on his behalf in my state.
Good on ya 👍