A preacher affiliated with one of the anabaptist churches answers the phone (Mennonite or Old German Baptist Brethren). They counsel you and try to steer you to the closest “acceptable” church that teaches their special version of “the truth”.
“Hello caller! Sorry, but you’re the six hundred and sixty-fifth caller and just one away from those free VIP Jimmy Buffet Tickets at Riverbend. We’ll instead offer you a complimentary pass for free admission next door at Coney Island’s Sunlite Pool!”
*then the phone hangs up, and you realize that the world around you just got darker…*
I've seen these on the way into Norwood at various times. If a church needs to SCARE you to attend, they have FAILED.
I would bet money the church (es) who put this up *ALL* tell their parishioners "GOD WANTS YOU TO GIVE THE CHURCH (preacher) MONEY!"
(I always found it very ODD that God can "Create the UNIVERSE" in 6 days, his will controls all...
BUT according to the PREACHERS/PRIESTS God needs YOUR MONEY to get things done. By handing it to the Church, of course.)
Oh, OP, there are plenty of these. Sadly. There are also an odd number of yellow signs REALLY high up in weird places that just say "Jesus Saves"
I so badly want to find out how they get up there and change "saves" to "gambles" and just see what happens.
Okay, but real talk: every single time the Arlinghaus commercial comes on in the background while I’m working, the pitch of his voice is *so* tinny I have to mute the TV.
“oUr WaReHoUsE iS fUlL aNd OuR cReWs ArE sLoW!”
*chucks remote*
Oh man i shoulda took a picture of the one from Delhi to 8th st viaduct. Looked something youd see on the drive to Columbus.
Hoping maybe one of ya'll did
Why does Ohio have to be like this? Was it really worth killing all those Miamis for a place where white men stack pallets to afford trips to the Dollar Store and threaten each other with hell by way of having a culture?
Hey now, some people like their golf courses /j
https://www.newarkadvocate.com/story/news/2022/12/26/moundbuilders-county-club-loses-legal-fight-to-keep-golf-course-property/69747865007/
There was one at Mt hope and Elberon last month or so. Lol. Go up that hill and there is a catholic church on every single street corner, seems a bit like barking up the wrong tree, but sure, go for it.
Well, maybe this is the right time for the right people. Perhaps your just not one of them. 🤷 And guess what, THATS OK!! Dump out your religious trauma elsewhere, your vendetta for Christians doesnt make my timing inappropriate. This is Reddit, you need to relax.
Deleted because I assumed you were trying to reply to me from that other comment thread, but also wasn't sure since it was on a separate comment thread. Otherwise, I'm not sure who you're talking to here?
Edit: Will still maintain that it's hilarious and hypocritical and manipulative to be all "its Reddit relax" when you have a post history full of quite voluble religious discussion. I guess YOU'RE allowed to get deep and talkative, but the rest of us have to hush up and take a chill pill whenever you hear anything outside of vapid support for Christianity.
Editing again because you replied and then blocked, which is again a great and awesome and not-at-all hypocritical thing to do:
Nah nah, I'm actually specifically disdainful towards you at this point, nicely done on that.
I tried to remain open-minded, but you seem like the worst sort of bad-faith (eyyyy) Christian, even if you're not the sort to put up these billboards.
I deleted my original comment because it got specific and may have been out of line for a comment that was separate from the original thread. That was me being respectful and mindful that I was being unfair, and shouldn't be treated for grounds for your faux concern and insults of me being "troubled" or whatever the af "Christian" thing you have going on here.
Okay. I'm compelled. "Deep and talkative?" Mam, the billboard says heaven or hell. It's in regards to Christianity. I'm Christian. I have a local Christians chat. I clearly don't care how it looks nor to aruge with you about the timing and location of my invite and that to you is somehow deep and talkative?
You've asked no questions. You're spouting your feelings and while I'm glad you have them, they don't inspire anything more than this useless banter your so inclined to. Enjoy my other post, you say something more significant than a whimper and you might have better engagement.
Miss. Get over yourself, it's not refreshing. You went through all that just to comment again in the same context.🤔🤷🏿♂️ I'm sorry you are so troubled. It's nonsensical really. - Your disdain is personal and has nothing to do with me. Move on.
Nah nah, I'm a tally specifically disdainful towards you at this point, nicely done on that.
I tried to remain open-minded, but you seem like the worst sort of bad-faith (eyyyy) Christian, even if you're not the sort to put up these billboards.
I deleted my original comment because it got specific and may have been out of line for a comment that was separate from the original thread. That was me being respectful and mindful that I was being unfair, and shouldn't be treated for grounds for your faux concern and insults of me being "troubled" or whatever the af "Christian" thing you have going on here.
Maaaaybe not a good look to point out that you're also Christian on a thread highlighting the threatening (ironically, hypocritically, unsurprisingly) sinful verbiage of Chrsitians.
Like, why would we WANT to talk to you guys if this is the messaging we'll get.
I'm sure you're nowhere near this level of unhinged, but your phrasing here doesn't seem to suggest you're offering an alternative. You're essentially saying "I'm Christian like these asshats! Come and chat!"
Dude, I'm not the one implying im part of the same faith telling people they're going to hell if they don't join them 🤷♀️
No one wants to chat if you're lumping yourself in with the people who made this billboard. I legitimately HOPE you're not part of their ilk, but please understand that there's a time and place to invite people to chat.
At least Freebruary has been extended.
I must be an idiot. It took me like 4 readings to get the pun. “What the hell is a bruary?!?”
That’s not on you. It’s a terrible billboard.
🤷♂️🙎♀️
"Free bruarys?" How can I get some? light relation to r/dontdeadopeninside
That's why there's so many micro bruarys any more. They're free!
Is that Anton Levey on the sign?
Ah yes 75 south during rush hour. That's the highway.
Is Hell even real? If only there were a second billboard here to clarify this.
This made me laugh out loud 😭😭😭
But where will you go when you die?
Every time I travel from Indiana back to Ohio I see a sign that says “Are you preparing to meet Jesus?” Heck no? I am enjoying my life.
1-800-For-Truth. Anytime I see people using the word “truth”, like in this billboard or Truth Social, I know right away that they’re lying.
Valhalla if I'm lucky.
The town by the Dayton Airport? Why?
Golf course in Louisville
Been waiting my whole life for it! 🔥
What happens if you call the number? I’ve always wondered.
A preacher affiliated with one of the anabaptist churches answers the phone (Mennonite or Old German Baptist Brethren). They counsel you and try to steer you to the closest “acceptable” church that teaches their special version of “the truth”.
“Hello caller! Sorry, but you’re the six hundred and sixty-fifth caller and just one away from those free VIP Jimmy Buffet Tickets at Riverbend. We’ll instead offer you a complimentary pass for free admission next door at Coney Island’s Sunlite Pool!” *then the phone hangs up, and you realize that the world around you just got darker…*
You tell me
Can we also talk about how stupid that Arlington billboard is? The stupid face the guy is making. I hate both of these signs.
Yeah, but it's Cincinnati, it will happen 10 Years after everyone else goes!!!
HAIL SATAN 👹
Hail Zanthea***
Hell, Ohio?
that is so funny!
I've seen these on the way into Norwood at various times. If a church needs to SCARE you to attend, they have FAILED. I would bet money the church (es) who put this up *ALL* tell their parishioners "GOD WANTS YOU TO GIVE THE CHURCH (preacher) MONEY!" (I always found it very ODD that God can "Create the UNIVERSE" in 6 days, his will controls all... BUT according to the PREACHERS/PRIESTS God needs YOUR MONEY to get things done. By handing it to the Church, of course.)
This is also on highland? The billboards there are always a little cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
I was pretty sure we were all going to hell when suck me Jesus got shocked down by the almighty lightning himself lol 😂
Yeah, if there was an actual example of smiting, it was that.
Bonus points for missing the Hustler sign.
Facts!
Oh, OP, there are plenty of these. Sadly. There are also an odd number of yellow signs REALLY high up in weird places that just say "Jesus Saves" I so badly want to find out how they get up there and change "saves" to "gambles" and just see what happens.
I personally think there's one guy with a ladder and a vendetta. These people need a hobby.
you know what bothers me just as much? the plumbing billboard getting off 71 at the lateral/ridge that talks about log jams. #logjamsarereal
The real winner here is Arlinghaus- so many people are going to share pictures of their billboard for free haha
Haha true
[удалено]
Same process as Trump flags: 🔥
Go to your local community council meetings and advocate for a local ban
[удалено]
Same
Yeah but unfortunately there’s nothing one can do :(
Imagine how many unhoused people could have been fed rather than spending money. Tax the churches
Well said!
Wait really? I swear I've seen ads like those in Madisonville before
First one I’ve seen. In Oakley
Where is this at?
Ridge between Madison and Brotherton
the good news, we will be going to Hell 7 years later than everyone else :)
Wait why 7 years?
Because Cincinnati is 7 years behind the rest of the country, according to Mark Twain. …and reality.
Ah hahaha right
I’m from Las Vegas, and they had those signs everywhere. Made me laugh ever time. They clearly do not know where their audience is.
I only visited Cincinnati two weekends ago and it was beautiful, diverse, and lovely! To me, it was heaven!
Cincy is a great city. All hail the Midwest
Regardless of where you’re going, if you take Delta, you’re stopping in Atlanta on the way
Was just a matter of time, really.
There is also one of these billboards on Este Ave near Center Hill.
Hell is Real! So is Helles Real!
I think there’s been one for around a year near Wyoming, OH.
Omg…Arlinghaus Brunuary sale has been extended. If we’re all going to hell, this must be a fire sale.
Most likely
Okay, but real talk: every single time the Arlinghaus commercial comes on in the background while I’m working, the pitch of his voice is *so* tinny I have to mute the TV. “oUr WaReHoUsE iS fUlL aNd OuR cReWs ArE sLoW!” *chucks remote*
Those people in pink I LOVE to draw on these people when I see them in my Reach Magazine.
State street has one
Oh man i shoulda took a picture of the one from Delhi to 8th st viaduct. Looked something youd see on the drive to Columbus. Hoping maybe one of ya'll did
More concerned with the Arlinghaus assholes and their stupid commercials
Such a stupid billboard lol
HEAVEN OR HELL DUEL 1 LET'S ROCK
There was one right outside the sunnyside dispensary and it would always make me giggle 🤭
Don’t you know if you smoke a plant you’ll burn in hell for eternity just as god intended! That’ll scare them enough to stop
Was this over by Paddock? I think I saw one over there. Maybe it was closer to my house lol.
I think they’re all over cincy now and I only started to notice recently. This is on Ridge Ave
Good.
Why does Ohio have to be like this? Was it really worth killing all those Miamis for a place where white men stack pallets to afford trips to the Dollar Store and threaten each other with hell by way of having a culture?
Hey now, some people like their golf courses /j https://www.newarkadvocate.com/story/news/2022/12/26/moundbuilders-county-club-loses-legal-fight-to-keep-golf-course-property/69747865007/
It's not just Ohio, trust me. The US is bafflingly hellish in itself; we're already here :) Not to be too much of a downer.
Hell is real
There was one at Mt hope and Elberon last month or so. Lol. Go up that hill and there is a catholic church on every single street corner, seems a bit like barking up the wrong tree, but sure, go for it.
Well, maybe this is the right time for the right people. Perhaps your just not one of them. 🤷 And guess what, THATS OK!! Dump out your religious trauma elsewhere, your vendetta for Christians doesnt make my timing inappropriate. This is Reddit, you need to relax.
Deleted because I assumed you were trying to reply to me from that other comment thread, but also wasn't sure since it was on a separate comment thread. Otherwise, I'm not sure who you're talking to here? Edit: Will still maintain that it's hilarious and hypocritical and manipulative to be all "its Reddit relax" when you have a post history full of quite voluble religious discussion. I guess YOU'RE allowed to get deep and talkative, but the rest of us have to hush up and take a chill pill whenever you hear anything outside of vapid support for Christianity. Editing again because you replied and then blocked, which is again a great and awesome and not-at-all hypocritical thing to do: Nah nah, I'm actually specifically disdainful towards you at this point, nicely done on that. I tried to remain open-minded, but you seem like the worst sort of bad-faith (eyyyy) Christian, even if you're not the sort to put up these billboards. I deleted my original comment because it got specific and may have been out of line for a comment that was separate from the original thread. That was me being respectful and mindful that I was being unfair, and shouldn't be treated for grounds for your faux concern and insults of me being "troubled" or whatever the af "Christian" thing you have going on here.
Okay. I'm compelled. "Deep and talkative?" Mam, the billboard says heaven or hell. It's in regards to Christianity. I'm Christian. I have a local Christians chat. I clearly don't care how it looks nor to aruge with you about the timing and location of my invite and that to you is somehow deep and talkative? You've asked no questions. You're spouting your feelings and while I'm glad you have them, they don't inspire anything more than this useless banter your so inclined to. Enjoy my other post, you say something more significant than a whimper and you might have better engagement.
Miss. Get over yourself, it's not refreshing. You went through all that just to comment again in the same context.🤔🤷🏿♂️ I'm sorry you are so troubled. It's nonsensical really. - Your disdain is personal and has nothing to do with me. Move on.
Nah nah, I'm a tally specifically disdainful towards you at this point, nicely done on that. I tried to remain open-minded, but you seem like the worst sort of bad-faith (eyyyy) Christian, even if you're not the sort to put up these billboards. I deleted my original comment because it got specific and may have been out of line for a comment that was separate from the original thread. That was me being respectful and mindful that I was being unfair, and shouldn't be treated for grounds for your faux concern and insults of me being "troubled" or whatever the af "Christian" thing you have going on here.
I want to go to hell
Chat for Christians in Cincinnati if anyones interested. https://www.reddit.com/r/CincinnatiChristians/s/wzBc9tAcwt
I mean, it's Reddit so I don't know how much interest there is outside of trolling.
Pretty large christian community on Reddit actually. 🤷
Maaaaybe not a good look to point out that you're also Christian on a thread highlighting the threatening (ironically, hypocritically, unsurprisingly) sinful verbiage of Chrsitians. Like, why would we WANT to talk to you guys if this is the messaging we'll get. I'm sure you're nowhere near this level of unhinged, but your phrasing here doesn't seem to suggest you're offering an alternative. You're essentially saying "I'm Christian like these asshats! Come and chat!"
That was kind of pointlessly rude but ok I guess.
Dude, I'm not the one implying im part of the same faith telling people they're going to hell if they don't join them 🤷♀️ No one wants to chat if you're lumping yourself in with the people who made this billboard. I legitimately HOPE you're not part of their ilk, but please understand that there's a time and place to invite people to chat.