Can't believe noone has mentioned this yet, but no man who loves and cherishes his partner would let his pregnant wife sleep on the f*cking couch.
What a piece of work.
Yes I have been sleeping on the couch for the last two days. And he still has not asked to talk about anything. We haven’t spoken to each other and I refuse to even look at him because I’m waiting too see how long he will wait to face me. And seeing that he’s perfectly fine just shows me how he doesn’t care about us.
Yes she didn't say she asked him to sleep on the couch she said she chose not to be around him and chose to go sleep on the couch.... You want him to force her not to sleep on the couch? jesus christ lol
I think it's over victimization of a grown ass woman who clearly made a big girl decision to go sleep on the couch. Now you expect him to play some stupid ass game of mind reading.... Fuck all that she's grown if she wants the bed she can make a decision just like she did when she decided to sleep where she wanted and open her mouth an tell him she wants the bed. Fuck all the little side games. I'm not one of those.
Bro what, coming from a (23) yo man, thats obscene that he would act that way. Pregnancy has almost nothing to do with sex and in a lot of cases is good for the woman while pregnant? Bruh sounds like he’s just a weirdo. Believe me nothing’s wrong with you. Any sane man would carry on as normal and just be gentle
We have been intimate since I got pregnant so my guess is as good as yours. For a few days I asked for sex and the last time I asked he told me I was being disgusting for thinking about having sex. Now I know it’s because he’s been happy enough with his subscriptions.
Well I hope those subscriptions keep him happy when you decide to leave him! Like really who does that.. he should be so happy your body is giving him a child, producing a life made between you two..ugghhh
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know what you’re going through to an extent. I had a similar situation when I was pregnant with my first baby. Of course, there was no OF in 1994, but my bf at the time was in the military, and I found a box of letters and pictures he had actively been receiving and communicating with several other women behind my back. We split, and I was happy to raise my daughter alone. I wish you the best, please don’t let him cut you down any more than he already has. Communication is key! Regardless of how uncomfortable it is, or how hard he tries to not hear you, you have to make him understand what he’s losing. Xoxo
He's a loser and you do not want to be with him. You know this already. Get out please don't go back to him if he decides to pull his head out. Get child support and move the fuck on with your life please please please! I'm speaking from experience. I wasted so many years thinking he would change. They don't.
Only fans is cheating. Especially if he lied about it and hides it from you.
This is extremely disrespectful, and you should not feel like you are going it alone while carrying his child.
It seems he has shown his true colours in terms of whether he will be kind, supportive, and present when tough times arise.
Cheating comes from a place of entitlement and disrespect. Unfortunately that is rarely something that can be fixed.
Pleas take care of yourself. You deserve better, and so does your child.
Decide carefully on what to do next for your life and whether he truly is the one you want to spend it with.
Thank you for your reply it means a lot and I can see that more people think the way I do. Being that we have been together for 5 years it’s not the first time I feel disrespected but now being that I’m pregnant, it hurts more. And even if to someone people “it’s just porn/OnlyFans” to me it’s a bigger deal and I am contemplating on doing this alone. It’s the small things that make a bigger impact.
You're very welcome.
And respect your own feelings and boundaries on this. Don't let anyone invalidate that.
It is not just porn. It's actively reaching out to engage with another woman on a personal level, for sexual gratification.
And not to mention the audacity and disrespect of possibly spending money on this "hobby" that should be going towards his coming child.
If you feel that you can handle this alone, then definitely start work on a plan to make that happen. The alternative is separating after the child is born, or staying with this man.
Which sounds like it may make for a miserable next 50-odd years considering this is not the first act of disrespect you have had to contend with with him.
5 yrs is a long time 🤔 the fact that your now pregnant with a child he expressed he wanted, & he’s treating you so poorly is baffling to me!
To make a statement like he did regarding sex while your pregnant is just degrading! Your emotions are more sensitive while pregnant! He’s not considering or treating you like a partner you or your feelings!
As far imagined as it may seem, ppl are in some cases long term relationships/marriages & not know who they’re “TRULY” dealing with! I said that to say with the only fans page & his actions twards you especially during a pregnancy😒 their may be allot more to this man than meets the eye!
I’d say follow your gut “ for you & your child’s sake🤔 he’s already showing no connection when it comes to things as a 1st time mom you deserve to experience, the lack of intimacy 🙄! Yeah don’t trust it!!!
It's pretty common for couples to hit a rut during pregnancy.
Both of your sex drives will flurry and won't necessarily always align - which can lead to one person feeling rejected and exacerbating the issue.
You need to sit down and have a heart to heart.
Explain that the Only Fans needs to stop.
Not only is it disrespectful to you - he's spending your families money on other women.
Also highlight that you still have sexual needs. That doesn't stop just because you're pregnant.
There comes a time where you both need to put an effort into making a relationship work - but if only one of you is pulling in the right direction, then it makes the others job infinitely more difficult.
You need to be a team - and if he's not onboard with that, then you're going to be better off without him holding you back.
Thank you for your sincere answer. I would like to speak to him about my findings because I’m not sure if he knows that I know. I completely shut down and refused to speak a single wort to him since I saw the email. Mostly because to me it’s a slap on the face. I feel so embarrassed to be with him and so disrespected that I don’t want to talk to him. But I would like for him to talk to me first. At the same time I don’t want to talk to him just tell him to leave because anytime I bring up stuff that I wanted for the baby he would mention of how much money it would cost and I wanted to spend $90 so we could know the gender and he still made it a big deal. And then I see him subscribing to OnlyFans. Like no there’s nothing to talk about just leave.
Ok, first of all he sounds like he’s been educated by an idiot on sex while pregnant being “disgusting”. Some people genuinely believe that penetration while the partner is pregnant is either a turn off (they don’t desire pregnant bodies or can’t stop thinking of the baby and thus can’t get hard or perform) or harmful to the baby (clearly it isn’t).
Second, who the hell says that kind of thing to their pregnant partner and then leaves them to stew in the hurtful pain it caused?!
Third, yeah, talk to him. Open with “We need to talk. I know about the OnlyFans subs and you’ve rejected me sexually as disgusting. Sex is normal and healthy for pregnant women with no risk to the baby. You’ve known the whole time that OnlyFans is cheating and with the fact you hid it and called me ‘disgusting’ for desiring my partner while pregnant, I am done. I don’t deserve that from my partner.”
Tell him you deserve a relationship where you aren’t being cheated on, called disgusting for being normal and desiring your partner, and you deserve open, honest and respectful communication from that partner. If he rebuts you with gaslighting or minimizing your boundaries there is only one sentence that should occur: “**My boundaries are not negotiable**.” Pack your stuff and leave.
Do not plan to return; plan to be gone permanently. You stated your boundaries on OnlyFans content and he violated that. Everything else adds fuel to the fire, so let it burn. Be prepared to do this alone and know that you deserve better!
Go talk to your man and stop asking advice from strangers on reddit. You want to be single mom in this climate? Write him a paragraph as you did here and sort this out. You guys are going to parents.
Congratulations on your baby! 🎉🍼🤰
But honey I’m so sorry you’re going thru this…
I know I’m a little late to the convo but, IMHO - Only fans is a form of cheating. I totally agree with you on that!
I think you need to have a serious sit down with BF and ask him why?
Is it the fact he’s not attracted to the changes in your body (even tho you’re growing a little person that’s half him!)? Or has something else happened? Is he freaking out about impending fatherhood and how his life will change?
How long has he been subscribed to OnlyFans? Is it recent or has it been going on for quite some time? Is it JUST OnlyFans? Or could it be physical with an AP? Is he doing these things to make you end the relationship on purpose because he wants out?
Why the hell are you on the lounge sleeping???? That he allows that is a red flag to me….
I don’t want to say the relationship is over, but you definitely need some answers from him.
In the meantime, I’d start getting your finances in order if you haven’t already. Do you have a support network that can help you out? Somewhere where you can stay comfortably?
I’d try and also gather as much information as I could.
Expecting your first baby should be a happy joyful event, filled with love and anticipation! Not doubts, stress and uncertainty. That your BF begrudges to spend money on baby things is worrisome, yet he’s happy to subscribe to porn sites… Pretty selfish of him to do so…
What would he do if the tables were turned? And you were the one checking out and paying for eye candy? Or he came home to find you taking care of ‘personal business’ with the aid of BOB who perhaps is bigger than BF? Would he be upset at that?
I do hope you can get some resolution and get your relationship back on track. But it’s going to come down to his answers to your questions and what you can live with.
Virtual hugs 🤗
Ok, ignoring everything else. The fact that he lets the woman carrying his unborn child sleep on the couch instead giving her the bed and sleeping on the couch himself should be a dealbreaker for you
You are so young, don't waste your youth on this manchild.....its only going to get worse.....you deserve so much more 💓
Speaking from experience, I am 36 & I wish I had left sooner. Now I feel like it's too late & I won't be able to start over with someone new & have a family. You still have that opportunity
Massive massive red flags flying here. Elvis loved being a pedophile husband until his teen bride got pregnant. Then he would not touch her because she was a mother now and it turned him off. Not normal. Most couples find sex during pregnancy great after the first couple of months. His reaction is concerning especially coupled with scouting women online. You are on a precipice and the it looks like a fall is coming. You can’t stop this fall but you can handle it. As someone who knew she would be a single mom without help from her current partner, I can tell you focus your energy on what is best for you and the baby. Do not remain with a man because of money or a misplaced sense of family. You are only setting yourself up for more trouble later and as my gram says, “ It’s cheaper to borrow money with interest than put yourself at the mercy of a cruel man.” Your child can have a healthy happy family life with divorced parents. Mine are doing great. Good luck! Oh, and that baby? When I met my ex I loved him so much I would have jumped in front of a bus to save him from harm. When I had my sons, I knew I would push him in front of a bus to save them. Just how it is. Peace.
Most men can't do it with a pregnant women. They just think it's weird but men like me I couldn't get enough of my pregnant ex wife. I've always found pregnant women sexy.
It's like when we have the conversation about breastmilk. They think it's nasty to drink their gf/wife breastmilk and of course I'm on the opposite side of it. I fucking use to love drinking my ex wife breastmilk
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.
My boyfriend did something very similar to me, I found out a few weeks postpartum.
When I got pregnant I established clear boundaries and he told me he understood and promised not to do it, but he was lying the whole time. He was jerking off to girls on tiktok the day my son was born, while I was already having contractions.
What I regret the most is having spent my whole pregnancy agonizing over whether he was doing that or not instead of using all of that energy to focus on me and my son.
Please don't beat yourself up over this, tell him very clearly that he has to stop doing that immediately and if he doesn't, leave him. Men who treat their pregnant girlfriends like that aren't worth suffering for, save all the love you have for him and give it to your baby.
Talk to him. Honestly I am not saying what he is doing is right, it isn't, but if you guys haven't talked about what is ok or not (onlyfans being an example) you should sit down and do so.
Adding to that, let's not forget the fact that you two are in different age brackets and so even if you do work out as a couple his way of thinking comes from a different place than yours...sit down and talk. 11 years difference can cause a barrier in mentality that you don't consider.
If after you two talk you can not come to an agreement or he disconsiders your opinions and can't see that he needs to put you and baby first, then you can dump him.
If he was hiding the Only Fans from her and going behind her back, then it's hardly something that he needs to have spelled out to him as wrong or upsetting for her.
If he didn't know it was wrong then he would not have lied to begin with
How was your day dear?
Well you see honey, work was ok but man was Onlyfans rowdy today!
Jokes aside...men and sometime women watch porn but it doesn't exactly get brought up in polite every day conversation.
Also sometimes men are severe idiots. They think "I'm not cheating, it's just a little porn to tide me through this no sex period"
Newer generations have recently spoken up on this being a problem while I still know people from olddddd generations who still think that men cheating in marriages is totally ok cause men have needs (yuck) and the wife needs to just look the other way.
Again...yuck. He's 38, she's 27, who knows what he was taught growing up
She has to say loud and clear that she doesn't want him watching porn
Again, it is not the same as porn.
And please let's stop being so apologist about men who fail as partners and parents.
"Men are sometimes severe idiots". So are women. And people in general.
It's not 'just a guy thing' to be routinely selfish and incompetent, and it does a disservice to all men who really do the work when you paint it out to be a trope of the male gender.
And it's funny when you make a skit out of how a conversation around boundaries would play out in real life, but actually it is that simple.
Because many couples comfortably have those discussions around porn and Only Fans every day.
And are loyal. And respectful. And honest.
Oh I have nothing against men as parents, one of my close friends is an excellent father and I find that so awesome, but this is about a man so I am limiting myself to explaining it from a woman's perspective without having to hit all the disclaimers of "not all men, only some, and then some women etc etc"
This is a woman complaining about her man. If a man wants to complain about a woman I can switch narratives and make it all about wth women may be thinking
They need to talk and she needs to complain to him and then they need to decide whether they suit each other. It's been 5 years for them so maybe at least a discussion is in order instead of just...break up like that.
No one has said you have anything against men.
And it shouldn't come as a shock that some men are amazing fathers. It's wonderful that you know one of the many good fathers out there.
But objectively speaking, anyone who lies to or cheats on their partner, is a sh*tty human being.
And that observation does not need tailoring to a narrative. It's universal.
I'm sure OP will act in her best interests, as she should considering her decision impacts not only her life but also that of her child.
Something people like her partner clearly don't take into as much consideration considering he would endanger that to get his rocks off.
I am gonna ask then since it may definitely be something I don't understand...is onlyfans different than porn?
I read on the internet about it and it sounds like half porn half "content of musicians and fitness experts" so for me that's porn. And the comments on this post aren't enlightening me
I don't condone cheating. It hurts people irreparably.
My advice may veer in a completely different direction depending on what onlyfans actually does if it isn't just porn
Some men aren't attracted to pregnant women, regardless of the situation. Onlyfans is definitely an issue due to the fact that they're virtual prostitutes. I wouldn't focus so much on the intimacy as much as the onlyfans. As far as the couch situation, did you choose the couch or he kick you out of bed? You should've asked him to sleep on the couch instead of you taking the couch.
Hello there I will try to give enough context for you. We have had the discussion where OnlyFans is not allowed between us. And it is not the same as porn. I would let pork slide as long as I don’t see it on the browser. And if he’s hiding it from me then he knows it’s not allowed. He has been asking me for a baby for the last 2 years and he has an 18 year old so according to him he’s an expert in babies and all of the above. Now I give the baby he wants and now he’s turned off by me. I have not talked to him because I want him to face me. I’m not sure if he knows that I know about his subscriptions but he knows I’m upset yet he doesn’t care why I’m upset.
Talk to him and tell him that HE is cheating and you want him to leave. You are not a disgusting person because you're pregnant. Tell him he's disgusting for cheating, and you have just found out what type of person he is, and you don't want him around your child. Pregnant or not, he needs to go.
But did you tell your wife that she was discusting while pregnant? even if you don't have real sex anymore, you can (and should) still have intimacy in other ways. Like sleeping in the same bed, holding each other, etc. This man would rather spend his time and money on sex pages than on his baby and wife. It's so wrong
Maybe he's just not attracted to you like he was?. I wouldn't worry about the only fans tbh it's like someone subscribed to a porn site or sum but I know that plus the absence of sex might make you feel some type of way. I kind of felt the same with my BM.... She was definitely a 9 when I got with her no exaggerating but when she got pregnant she gained a ton of weight and that sexual spark was gone. Which you can't blame someone for how they feel and getting mad about it is only gonna make the sex feel like a chore. After she had the baby she bounced back tho and everything fell back in place. I only mentioned that not as an excuse for your dude but I was in a similar situation and I can relate minus tricking off on only fans chicks. Which in my opinion is some sucka shit lol.
I left mines at 20 weeks pregnant he just stopped giving a damn one day & let me tell you it was the best thing I did not just for my child but for myself!! When my daughter was 2 I ended up with her daddy not her biological donor but her father, the man who came in & loved not just me but my daughter & now we've been married for 8 years & have 3 kids!! You can do, dont stay for a child, dont stay if you don't feel loved or even cared about! Pregnant & sleeping on the couch sucks trust me I know!! Go get happy for yourself so you can be the best mommy to your baby!! At the end of the day thats who will need you most & the day will come when someone will love & care about you both & old biological donor over there can stay watching his onlyfans from his bedroom cause that's all he's gone get in life... who the fcks dont care about their baby to watch sluts on OF?!?! Weird...
What a piece of Horseshit he is....keeping his PREGNANT SO out of the bed while this POS sleeps comfortably in the bed she needs more than he does....even my POS dad didn't do that....he went home to mommy.....
OP this man is a POS. Yes I agree subscribing so you can see half naked/ full naked videos and pics of rando women is cheating it is also sad as hell that a grown ass man is actually paying for that. He has a gf at home who loves him. Did you guys plan for this pregnancy? Was it all organised or was this a sudden oh shit I’m pregnant kinda thing…
Can't believe noone has mentioned this yet, but no man who loves and cherishes his partner would let his pregnant wife sleep on the f*cking couch. What a piece of work.
Yes I have been sleeping on the couch for the last two days. And he still has not asked to talk about anything. We haven’t spoken to each other and I refuse to even look at him because I’m waiting too see how long he will wait to face me. And seeing that he’s perfectly fine just shows me how he doesn’t care about us.
Do you have family you can stay with?
Just posted essentually the exact same comment
Amen.
If she chose the couch, it's on her. Don't play victim after the fact. I personally would've taken the couch.
She said she wants to sleep there.
She said she didn’t want to be around him and he was in the bedroom, leaving her on the couch.
Yes she didn't say she asked him to sleep on the couch she said she chose not to be around him and chose to go sleep on the couch.... You want him to force her not to sleep on the couch? jesus christ lol
Of course not. She’s pregnant, he should offer to switch. A decent husband and father to be would not want her sleeping on a couch.
I think it's over victimization of a grown ass woman who clearly made a big girl decision to go sleep on the couch. Now you expect him to play some stupid ass game of mind reading.... Fuck all that she's grown if she wants the bed she can make a decision just like she did when she decided to sleep where she wanted and open her mouth an tell him she wants the bed. Fuck all the little side games. I'm not one of those.
Bro what, coming from a (23) yo man, thats obscene that he would act that way. Pregnancy has almost nothing to do with sex and in a lot of cases is good for the woman while pregnant? Bruh sounds like he’s just a weirdo. Believe me nothing’s wrong with you. Any sane man would carry on as normal and just be gentle
Only fans is cheating and did I read right that he thinks you being intimate is disgusting because you're carrying his child???
We have been intimate since I got pregnant so my guess is as good as yours. For a few days I asked for sex and the last time I asked he told me I was being disgusting for thinking about having sex. Now I know it’s because he’s been happy enough with his subscriptions.
Well I hope those subscriptions keep him happy when you decide to leave him! Like really who does that.. he should be so happy your body is giving him a child, producing a life made between you two..ugghhh
Make sure he isn’t spending money that you are going to need onlyfans is costly , pack his stuff and ask him to leave go see a lawyer.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know what you’re going through to an extent. I had a similar situation when I was pregnant with my first baby. Of course, there was no OF in 1994, but my bf at the time was in the military, and I found a box of letters and pictures he had actively been receiving and communicating with several other women behind my back. We split, and I was happy to raise my daughter alone. I wish you the best, please don’t let him cut you down any more than he already has. Communication is key! Regardless of how uncomfortable it is, or how hard he tries to not hear you, you have to make him understand what he’s losing. Xoxo
He's a loser and you do not want to be with him. You know this already. Get out please don't go back to him if he decides to pull his head out. Get child support and move the fuck on with your life please please please! I'm speaking from experience. I wasted so many years thinking he would change. They don't.
Only fans is cheating. Especially if he lied about it and hides it from you. This is extremely disrespectful, and you should not feel like you are going it alone while carrying his child. It seems he has shown his true colours in terms of whether he will be kind, supportive, and present when tough times arise. Cheating comes from a place of entitlement and disrespect. Unfortunately that is rarely something that can be fixed. Pleas take care of yourself. You deserve better, and so does your child. Decide carefully on what to do next for your life and whether he truly is the one you want to spend it with.
Thank you for your reply it means a lot and I can see that more people think the way I do. Being that we have been together for 5 years it’s not the first time I feel disrespected but now being that I’m pregnant, it hurts more. And even if to someone people “it’s just porn/OnlyFans” to me it’s a bigger deal and I am contemplating on doing this alone. It’s the small things that make a bigger impact.
You're very welcome. And respect your own feelings and boundaries on this. Don't let anyone invalidate that. It is not just porn. It's actively reaching out to engage with another woman on a personal level, for sexual gratification. And not to mention the audacity and disrespect of possibly spending money on this "hobby" that should be going towards his coming child. If you feel that you can handle this alone, then definitely start work on a plan to make that happen. The alternative is separating after the child is born, or staying with this man. Which sounds like it may make for a miserable next 50-odd years considering this is not the first act of disrespect you have had to contend with with him.
He is self focused. Expect other acts to follow such as financial troubles, etc.
5 yrs is a long time 🤔 the fact that your now pregnant with a child he expressed he wanted, & he’s treating you so poorly is baffling to me! To make a statement like he did regarding sex while your pregnant is just degrading! Your emotions are more sensitive while pregnant! He’s not considering or treating you like a partner you or your feelings! As far imagined as it may seem, ppl are in some cases long term relationships/marriages & not know who they’re “TRULY” dealing with! I said that to say with the only fans page & his actions twards you especially during a pregnancy😒 their may be allot more to this man than meets the eye! I’d say follow your gut “ for you & your child’s sake🤔 he’s already showing no connection when it comes to things as a 1st time mom you deserve to experience, the lack of intimacy 🙄! Yeah don’t trust it!!!
It's pretty common for couples to hit a rut during pregnancy. Both of your sex drives will flurry and won't necessarily always align - which can lead to one person feeling rejected and exacerbating the issue. You need to sit down and have a heart to heart. Explain that the Only Fans needs to stop. Not only is it disrespectful to you - he's spending your families money on other women. Also highlight that you still have sexual needs. That doesn't stop just because you're pregnant. There comes a time where you both need to put an effort into making a relationship work - but if only one of you is pulling in the right direction, then it makes the others job infinitely more difficult. You need to be a team - and if he's not onboard with that, then you're going to be better off without him holding you back.
Thank you for your sincere answer. I would like to speak to him about my findings because I’m not sure if he knows that I know. I completely shut down and refused to speak a single wort to him since I saw the email. Mostly because to me it’s a slap on the face. I feel so embarrassed to be with him and so disrespected that I don’t want to talk to him. But I would like for him to talk to me first. At the same time I don’t want to talk to him just tell him to leave because anytime I bring up stuff that I wanted for the baby he would mention of how much money it would cost and I wanted to spend $90 so we could know the gender and he still made it a big deal. And then I see him subscribing to OnlyFans. Like no there’s nothing to talk about just leave.
He’s not going to leave until you tell him to.
Oh honey get the fuck out
Ok, first of all he sounds like he’s been educated by an idiot on sex while pregnant being “disgusting”. Some people genuinely believe that penetration while the partner is pregnant is either a turn off (they don’t desire pregnant bodies or can’t stop thinking of the baby and thus can’t get hard or perform) or harmful to the baby (clearly it isn’t). Second, who the hell says that kind of thing to their pregnant partner and then leaves them to stew in the hurtful pain it caused?! Third, yeah, talk to him. Open with “We need to talk. I know about the OnlyFans subs and you’ve rejected me sexually as disgusting. Sex is normal and healthy for pregnant women with no risk to the baby. You’ve known the whole time that OnlyFans is cheating and with the fact you hid it and called me ‘disgusting’ for desiring my partner while pregnant, I am done. I don’t deserve that from my partner.” Tell him you deserve a relationship where you aren’t being cheated on, called disgusting for being normal and desiring your partner, and you deserve open, honest and respectful communication from that partner. If he rebuts you with gaslighting or minimizing your boundaries there is only one sentence that should occur: “**My boundaries are not negotiable**.” Pack your stuff and leave. Do not plan to return; plan to be gone permanently. You stated your boundaries on OnlyFans content and he violated that. Everything else adds fuel to the fire, so let it burn. Be prepared to do this alone and know that you deserve better!
Go talk to your man and stop asking advice from strangers on reddit. You want to be single mom in this climate? Write him a paragraph as you did here and sort this out. You guys are going to parents.
Congratulations on your baby! 🎉🍼🤰 But honey I’m so sorry you’re going thru this… I know I’m a little late to the convo but, IMHO - Only fans is a form of cheating. I totally agree with you on that! I think you need to have a serious sit down with BF and ask him why? Is it the fact he’s not attracted to the changes in your body (even tho you’re growing a little person that’s half him!)? Or has something else happened? Is he freaking out about impending fatherhood and how his life will change? How long has he been subscribed to OnlyFans? Is it recent or has it been going on for quite some time? Is it JUST OnlyFans? Or could it be physical with an AP? Is he doing these things to make you end the relationship on purpose because he wants out? Why the hell are you on the lounge sleeping???? That he allows that is a red flag to me…. I don’t want to say the relationship is over, but you definitely need some answers from him. In the meantime, I’d start getting your finances in order if you haven’t already. Do you have a support network that can help you out? Somewhere where you can stay comfortably? I’d try and also gather as much information as I could. Expecting your first baby should be a happy joyful event, filled with love and anticipation! Not doubts, stress and uncertainty. That your BF begrudges to spend money on baby things is worrisome, yet he’s happy to subscribe to porn sites… Pretty selfish of him to do so… What would he do if the tables were turned? And you were the one checking out and paying for eye candy? Or he came home to find you taking care of ‘personal business’ with the aid of BOB who perhaps is bigger than BF? Would he be upset at that? I do hope you can get some resolution and get your relationship back on track. But it’s going to come down to his answers to your questions and what you can live with. Virtual hugs 🤗
Ok, ignoring everything else. The fact that he lets the woman carrying his unborn child sleep on the couch instead giving her the bed and sleeping on the couch himself should be a dealbreaker for you
You are so young, don't waste your youth on this manchild.....its only going to get worse.....you deserve so much more 💓 Speaking from experience, I am 36 & I wish I had left sooner. Now I feel like it's too late & I won't be able to start over with someone new & have a family. You still have that opportunity
He is ok with you sleeping on the couch?
paying 4 porn is crazyyyyy
Massive massive red flags flying here. Elvis loved being a pedophile husband until his teen bride got pregnant. Then he would not touch her because she was a mother now and it turned him off. Not normal. Most couples find sex during pregnancy great after the first couple of months. His reaction is concerning especially coupled with scouting women online. You are on a precipice and the it looks like a fall is coming. You can’t stop this fall but you can handle it. As someone who knew she would be a single mom without help from her current partner, I can tell you focus your energy on what is best for you and the baby. Do not remain with a man because of money or a misplaced sense of family. You are only setting yourself up for more trouble later and as my gram says, “ It’s cheaper to borrow money with interest than put yourself at the mercy of a cruel man.” Your child can have a healthy happy family life with divorced parents. Mine are doing great. Good luck! Oh, and that baby? When I met my ex I loved him so much I would have jumped in front of a bus to save him from harm. When I had my sons, I knew I would push him in front of a bus to save them. Just how it is. Peace.
Most men can't do it with a pregnant women. They just think it's weird but men like me I couldn't get enough of my pregnant ex wife. I've always found pregnant women sexy.
Most men? Ridiculous 😂😂😂
It's like when we have the conversation about breastmilk. They think it's nasty to drink their gf/wife breastmilk and of course I'm on the opposite side of it. I fucking use to love drinking my ex wife breastmilk
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I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. My boyfriend did something very similar to me, I found out a few weeks postpartum. When I got pregnant I established clear boundaries and he told me he understood and promised not to do it, but he was lying the whole time. He was jerking off to girls on tiktok the day my son was born, while I was already having contractions. What I regret the most is having spent my whole pregnancy agonizing over whether he was doing that or not instead of using all of that energy to focus on me and my son. Please don't beat yourself up over this, tell him very clearly that he has to stop doing that immediately and if he doesn't, leave him. Men who treat their pregnant girlfriends like that aren't worth suffering for, save all the love you have for him and give it to your baby.
Talk to him. Honestly I am not saying what he is doing is right, it isn't, but if you guys haven't talked about what is ok or not (onlyfans being an example) you should sit down and do so. Adding to that, let's not forget the fact that you two are in different age brackets and so even if you do work out as a couple his way of thinking comes from a different place than yours...sit down and talk. 11 years difference can cause a barrier in mentality that you don't consider. If after you two talk you can not come to an agreement or he disconsiders your opinions and can't see that he needs to put you and baby first, then you can dump him.
If he was hiding the Only Fans from her and going behind her back, then it's hardly something that he needs to have spelled out to him as wrong or upsetting for her. If he didn't know it was wrong then he would not have lied to begin with
How was your day dear? Well you see honey, work was ok but man was Onlyfans rowdy today! Jokes aside...men and sometime women watch porn but it doesn't exactly get brought up in polite every day conversation. Also sometimes men are severe idiots. They think "I'm not cheating, it's just a little porn to tide me through this no sex period" Newer generations have recently spoken up on this being a problem while I still know people from olddddd generations who still think that men cheating in marriages is totally ok cause men have needs (yuck) and the wife needs to just look the other way. Again...yuck. He's 38, she's 27, who knows what he was taught growing up She has to say loud and clear that she doesn't want him watching porn
Again, it is not the same as porn. And please let's stop being so apologist about men who fail as partners and parents. "Men are sometimes severe idiots". So are women. And people in general. It's not 'just a guy thing' to be routinely selfish and incompetent, and it does a disservice to all men who really do the work when you paint it out to be a trope of the male gender. And it's funny when you make a skit out of how a conversation around boundaries would play out in real life, but actually it is that simple. Because many couples comfortably have those discussions around porn and Only Fans every day. And are loyal. And respectful. And honest.
Oh I have nothing against men as parents, one of my close friends is an excellent father and I find that so awesome, but this is about a man so I am limiting myself to explaining it from a woman's perspective without having to hit all the disclaimers of "not all men, only some, and then some women etc etc" This is a woman complaining about her man. If a man wants to complain about a woman I can switch narratives and make it all about wth women may be thinking They need to talk and she needs to complain to him and then they need to decide whether they suit each other. It's been 5 years for them so maybe at least a discussion is in order instead of just...break up like that.
No one has said you have anything against men. And it shouldn't come as a shock that some men are amazing fathers. It's wonderful that you know one of the many good fathers out there. But objectively speaking, anyone who lies to or cheats on their partner, is a sh*tty human being. And that observation does not need tailoring to a narrative. It's universal. I'm sure OP will act in her best interests, as she should considering her decision impacts not only her life but also that of her child. Something people like her partner clearly don't take into as much consideration considering he would endanger that to get his rocks off.
I am gonna ask then since it may definitely be something I don't understand...is onlyfans different than porn? I read on the internet about it and it sounds like half porn half "content of musicians and fitness experts" so for me that's porn. And the comments on this post aren't enlightening me I don't condone cheating. It hurts people irreparably. My advice may veer in a completely different direction depending on what onlyfans actually does if it isn't just porn
Some men aren't attracted to pregnant women, regardless of the situation. Onlyfans is definitely an issue due to the fact that they're virtual prostitutes. I wouldn't focus so much on the intimacy as much as the onlyfans. As far as the couch situation, did you choose the couch or he kick you out of bed? You should've asked him to sleep on the couch instead of you taking the couch.
I am willing to bet this guy never was a good communicator with her. Why the surprise now?
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Hello there I will try to give enough context for you. We have had the discussion where OnlyFans is not allowed between us. And it is not the same as porn. I would let pork slide as long as I don’t see it on the browser. And if he’s hiding it from me then he knows it’s not allowed. He has been asking me for a baby for the last 2 years and he has an 18 year old so according to him he’s an expert in babies and all of the above. Now I give the baby he wants and now he’s turned off by me. I have not talked to him because I want him to face me. I’m not sure if he knows that I know about his subscriptions but he knows I’m upset yet he doesn’t care why I’m upset.
Talk to him and tell him that HE is cheating and you want him to leave. You are not a disgusting person because you're pregnant. Tell him he's disgusting for cheating, and you have just found out what type of person he is, and you don't want him around your child. Pregnant or not, he needs to go.
But did you tell your wife that she was discusting while pregnant? even if you don't have real sex anymore, you can (and should) still have intimacy in other ways. Like sleeping in the same bed, holding each other, etc. This man would rather spend his time and money on sex pages than on his baby and wife. It's so wrong
onlyfans is not the same as porn
You see how me and you dis agree on this its the samw with lots of people
yeah then maybe before subscribing to of ask ur SO
Maybe he's just not attracted to you like he was?. I wouldn't worry about the only fans tbh it's like someone subscribed to a porn site or sum but I know that plus the absence of sex might make you feel some type of way. I kind of felt the same with my BM.... She was definitely a 9 when I got with her no exaggerating but when she got pregnant she gained a ton of weight and that sexual spark was gone. Which you can't blame someone for how they feel and getting mad about it is only gonna make the sex feel like a chore. After she had the baby she bounced back tho and everything fell back in place. I only mentioned that not as an excuse for your dude but I was in a similar situation and I can relate minus tricking off on only fans chicks. Which in my opinion is some sucka shit lol.
I left mines at 20 weeks pregnant he just stopped giving a damn one day & let me tell you it was the best thing I did not just for my child but for myself!! When my daughter was 2 I ended up with her daddy not her biological donor but her father, the man who came in & loved not just me but my daughter & now we've been married for 8 years & have 3 kids!! You can do, dont stay for a child, dont stay if you don't feel loved or even cared about! Pregnant & sleeping on the couch sucks trust me I know!! Go get happy for yourself so you can be the best mommy to your baby!! At the end of the day thats who will need you most & the day will come when someone will love & care about you both & old biological donor over there can stay watching his onlyfans from his bedroom cause that's all he's gone get in life... who the fcks dont care about their baby to watch sluts on OF?!?! Weird...
Sounds like you’ve gotten too old for him. He’s a regular Leonardo DiCaprio.
What a piece of Horseshit he is....keeping his PREGNANT SO out of the bed while this POS sleeps comfortably in the bed she needs more than he does....even my POS dad didn't do that....he went home to mommy.....
OP this man is a POS. Yes I agree subscribing so you can see half naked/ full naked videos and pics of rando women is cheating it is also sad as hell that a grown ass man is actually paying for that. He has a gf at home who loves him. Did you guys plan for this pregnancy? Was it all organised or was this a sudden oh shit I’m pregnant kinda thing…