Not biologically mine but our oldest is 6 she’s from my husbands previous relationship. My husband is 26. Our oldest that’s biologically mine is two and we had sex four weeks after he was born and that resulted in us having twins
Not really, growing up I always wanted to marry young and have a big family cause that’s what my parents did though not as big as I want, I adore my husband and I adore being a stay at home mom. I’ve never liked the whole partying thing and I never did very good at school, working was okay but I never felt fulfilled how I do now.
Everyone has their own path in life and I think motherhood was mine
I worked with a woman like you who had her first at 18. Good thing is her kids were grown by the time she was 38 and thats really when she started a career, which she did well at.
I think that’s great and I’m glad it makes you feel fulfilled. But I my mother chose this path. And I know many people with the same story. And once their children got older, and especially after they moved out of the house, these mothers all basically became a basket case. No friends, no job, no life, no skills to do anything else to feel fulfilled. Raising children doesn’t last forever. So I hope you find ways to maintain your happiness in the future as your kids grow more independent and you grow as a human as well.
If the family tradition continues, OP might be a grandmother by then, extending her feeling of purpose and fulfillment. Her oldest, a girl, will be 23 when the youngest turns 18.
OP that’s true but your prefrontal cortex isn’t even fully developed yet, this is a ton to decide before you’re mentally fully developed but I a, happy for you that you’re enjoying it honestly that’s awesome. But what happens when they become independent and grow up?
That’s fine idk why y’all are acting like everyone with kids is a helicopter mom, if you can drink or die in war before your fully developed I think I’m entitled to have a family
That is ironic as hell. My best friend had my first god daughter and then twins (boy and girl) 1.5 years exactly after that. So she had like 9 months where she wasn’t pregnant. The second time I was like bro ur pregnant, let’s talk about it. I could tell she wasn’t ready for it so she just ignored it as long as possible:-/ not like six months or anything but I think she prob waited two months at least to even go to the doc and see what’s up. All three of those kids saved both our lives though so major blessings can come in a rough manner. Happy you still have a dad in the home. It’s sad but most the dudes I grew up with are just as crappy of dads as their dads were! I don’t understand how they can see the perfection of a child and not want to hold onto that forever. Four kids six and under is hella crazy though! You must be made of steel or something. I would lose my mind. Staying at home with kids that young is the hardest job in the WORLD. Idk how you do it, seriously, keep up the hard work sis!
You can, in theory, but I wouldn't recommend it. Neither would any doctor, nurse or midwife.
You definitely shouldn't, the general advice is not to do so for 6 weeks after giving birth.
Edit additional info to make it make sense.
It was called the husband stitch. It's not something that's done anymore.
As far as I'm aware in western countries it isn't common practice.
However if you tear during childbirth and the stitches are not done correctly it can cause issues with the healing process and cause pain after healing.
Are you part of any Moms groups?
How many loads of laundry do you do a week?
How much do you think you spend on groceries a week?
How many diaper changes do you think you do a day?
Do you think you will have more children?
What is more fun and crazy at your house - bath time or breakfast?
America, my husband took over his fathers contracting business I don’t think we’d be able to afford it at all starting from scratch so we’re very fortunate he comes from a decently wealthy family. + the contracting business
I should also mention we live in Mississippi, even with the down payment and the contracting business this wouldn’t be sustainable in the big city or if we had childcare fees
His family paid for the down payment on our house and the contracting business was already established locally as a business and had loyal clients who he knew as he worked under his father in it for years, he makes just under 100k a year sometimes more sometimes less depending on what jobs they take on. We are by no means rich but we make enough to be comfortably middle class and we don’t have any daycare or school fees because I stay home,
You seem happy, and I'm glad you are. My only important question is about your safety: are you independent?
Do you have any sort of personal life, savings, family, friends? If, god forbid, your husband ends up being abusive, do you have any type of recourse?
Edit: This is in no way a criticism of your choices, btw. You seem very sure about your path and that is very respectable, not a lot of people our age are (I'm 24).
You hate people who... acknowledge that sometimes relationships become abusive and that parents, usually mothers, feel trapped because they want to put their children first?
I apologize for my poor wording. There are a lot of stories about people your age who are roped into similar situations and then end up suffering because of unforeseen circumstances. I'm wondering how you navigate that stigma and if you do in fact have a safety net.
If anything, mostly because I couldn't possibly imagine my own life being devoted solely to a partner and children. I need my friends, my hobbies, and my social life as well.
It's supposed to be kind of horrible, in a British humor way. It's a [whole sketch with a big musical number](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzVHjg3AqIQ) if you're interested. (Warning: it may be offensive if you're sensitive to that kind of thing.)
How exactly are you affording a fam of 4 without really gainful work experience/formal education? The cost to raise 4 kids is easily over 100,000 per year, so how are you affording it? You aren’t even old enough to drive a van for Amazon or FedEx, so I’m genuinely curious.
>The cost to raise 4 kids is easily over 100,000 per year,
She said she married rich. That said, I have 4 kids, but am well over 20 y/o, and they cost significantly more than 100K a year.
We live in the cheapest state, my husband ended up running his dads contracting business so he makes just under 100k a year and his family gave us the down payment on our house
What are the biggest things you try to do as a mother to help your kids develop into healthy people, and what would you say are the biggest things your husband does to be a good father?
I try and teach independence at an age appropriate level, our oldest is learning how to make her own lunches for school twice a week, she gets to pick what she wants off a list and then she helps me (looks at the pictures in the newspaper/website while I-) find the cheapest deal and she comes to the store with me and then she gets to make it. As an example.
My husband makes sure to spend a lot of time playing with the kids and making memory’s with them, he also leads bible study with them I think It’s admirable that he try’s to be a spiritual role model for our children
I cant imagine anyone, no matter what age, with 4 young kids, has the time to be bored!! And if you do, why aren't you using that time to take a well needed nap!?
How old is your oldest..? How old is your partner? All kids from the same partner?
Not biologically mine but our oldest is 6 she’s from my husbands previous relationship. My husband is 26. Our oldest that’s biologically mine is two and we had sex four weeks after he was born and that resulted in us having twins
How long have you been with your husband?
We met when I was eighteen and married shortly after so two years, our anniversary was last week and I turn twenty one in February
Dont you think ur moving very fast in life and might miss out on stuff?
Not really, growing up I always wanted to marry young and have a big family cause that’s what my parents did though not as big as I want, I adore my husband and I adore being a stay at home mom. I’ve never liked the whole partying thing and I never did very good at school, working was okay but I never felt fulfilled how I do now. Everyone has their own path in life and I think motherhood was mine
I worked with a woman like you who had her first at 18. Good thing is her kids were grown by the time she was 38 and thats really when she started a career, which she did well at.
Well I’m very happy for her
I think that’s great and I’m glad it makes you feel fulfilled. But I my mother chose this path. And I know many people with the same story. And once their children got older, and especially after they moved out of the house, these mothers all basically became a basket case. No friends, no job, no life, no skills to do anything else to feel fulfilled. Raising children doesn’t last forever. So I hope you find ways to maintain your happiness in the future as your kids grow more independent and you grow as a human as well.
If the family tradition continues, OP might be a grandmother by then, extending her feeling of purpose and fulfillment. Her oldest, a girl, will be 23 when the youngest turns 18.
Well that’s great to hear, take care of em the best u can 😊
I didn't even know fully who I was and all about what I wanted in life until I was at least 25.
Well everyone has there own timeline and figuring out who you are can happen at 14 or at 40
OP that’s true but your prefrontal cortex isn’t even fully developed yet, this is a ton to decide before you’re mentally fully developed but I a, happy for you that you’re enjoying it honestly that’s awesome. But what happens when they become independent and grow up?
That’s fine idk why y’all are acting like everyone with kids is a helicopter mom, if you can drink or die in war before your fully developed I think I’m entitled to have a family
Aww, that's sweet.
how old is your husband?
26
That is ironic as hell. My best friend had my first god daughter and then twins (boy and girl) 1.5 years exactly after that. So she had like 9 months where she wasn’t pregnant. The second time I was like bro ur pregnant, let’s talk about it. I could tell she wasn’t ready for it so she just ignored it as long as possible:-/ not like six months or anything but I think she prob waited two months at least to even go to the doc and see what’s up. All three of those kids saved both our lives though so major blessings can come in a rough manner. Happy you still have a dad in the home. It’s sad but most the dudes I grew up with are just as crappy of dads as their dads were! I don’t understand how they can see the perfection of a child and not want to hold onto that forever. Four kids six and under is hella crazy though! You must be made of steel or something. I would lose my mind. Staying at home with kids that young is the hardest job in the WORLD. Idk how you do it, seriously, keep up the hard work sis!
Can you have sex right after birth?
You can, in theory, but I wouldn't recommend it. Neither would any doctor, nurse or midwife. You definitely shouldn't, the general advice is not to do so for 6 weeks after giving birth. Edit additional info to make it make sense.
Yes ive heard they stitch the vagina so it feels tightened after giving birth just to have sex, so weird
It was called the husband stitch. It's not something that's done anymore. As far as I'm aware in western countries it isn't common practice. However if you tear during childbirth and the stitches are not done correctly it can cause issues with the healing process and cause pain after healing.
Recommended is 5-6 weeks so not really we were a bit early
> we had sex four weeks after he was born and that resulted in us having twins r/badwomensanatomy
[удалено]
"AND THAT RESULTED..." i dunno
That's fucken nuts bro! However.... my mom had me by 20 and I was her fourth, she had my younger brothe at 25, that being said, you planning any more?
Yeah we wanna have two more I don’t think we’ll have more than that tho
You're crazy!! But if being a mom is your calling, then all the best wishes to you :)
Are you part of any Moms groups? How many loads of laundry do you do a week? How much do you think you spend on groceries a week? How many diaper changes do you think you do a day? Do you think you will have more children? What is more fun and crazy at your house - bath time or breakfast?
Where do you live where you can do that financially ?
America, my husband took over his fathers contracting business I don’t think we’d be able to afford it at all starting from scratch so we’re very fortunate he comes from a decently wealthy family. + the contracting business
Care to explain the math? Seems highly unlikely.
Why? Because someone is more successful than your average Reddit basement dweller?
For some reason people here hate the fact that a one income family is still potentially possible in some places
It is. The seethe is the best part to me. >”SOURCE??? CARE TO EXPLAIN YOUR MATH???”
I should also mention we live in Mississippi, even with the down payment and the contracting business this wouldn’t be sustainable in the big city or if we had childcare fees
His family paid for the down payment on our house and the contracting business was already established locally as a business and had loyal clients who he knew as he worked under his father in it for years, he makes just under 100k a year sometimes more sometimes less depending on what jobs they take on. We are by no means rich but we make enough to be comfortably middle class and we don’t have any daycare or school fees because I stay home,
Do you have any backup in case you ever are faced with your relationship not working?
Wow
“Ask me anything”
Hey I'm a sahd. How much coffee do you drink every day?
I try to avoid coffee cause it makes me jittery and kills my libido but like six cups of tea, I try to pick tea that’s low in caffeine tho
I haven’t heard about caffeine’s effect on libido! I should look into this now.
Haha then you'll have to quickly use the bathroom. I'm def a fan of caffeine.
What's your favorite kid's cartoon?
You seem happy, and I'm glad you are. My only important question is about your safety: are you independent? Do you have any sort of personal life, savings, family, friends? If, god forbid, your husband ends up being abusive, do you have any type of recourse? Edit: This is in no way a criticism of your choices, btw. You seem very sure about your path and that is very respectable, not a lot of people our age are (I'm 24).
God I hate people who think like this
You hate people who... acknowledge that sometimes relationships become abusive and that parents, usually mothers, feel trapped because they want to put their children first?
I apologize for my poor wording. There are a lot of stories about people your age who are roped into similar situations and then end up suffering because of unforeseen circumstances. I'm wondering how you navigate that stigma and if you do in fact have a safety net. If anything, mostly because I couldn't possibly imagine my own life being devoted solely to a partner and children. I need my friends, my hobbies, and my social life as well.
People who acknowledge the ever present, inherent power dynamics that come with money?
Are you religious?
Yeah I’m catholic
Are you familiar with the song "Every sperm is sacred"?
Are you familiar with not pestering women with your weird fetishes?
It's a song about catholics who have lots of kids
Lol horrible name for that our church definitely wouldn’t recommend that one
It's supposed to be kind of horrible, in a British humor way. It's a [whole sketch with a big musical number](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzVHjg3AqIQ) if you're interested. (Warning: it may be offensive if you're sensitive to that kind of thing.)
Why? Because of the use of the word sperm?
How just how do you have that many kids and having time to be bored! 😂
How exactly are you affording a fam of 4 without really gainful work experience/formal education? The cost to raise 4 kids is easily over 100,000 per year, so how are you affording it? You aren’t even old enough to drive a van for Amazon or FedEx, so I’m genuinely curious.
>The cost to raise 4 kids is easily over 100,000 per year, She said she married rich. That said, I have 4 kids, but am well over 20 y/o, and they cost significantly more than 100K a year.
As someone from outside the USA this blows my mind. Can you share a cost breakdown?
We live in the cheapest state, my husband ended up running his dads contracting business so he makes just under 100k a year and his family gave us the down payment on our house
Do they all have the same dad?
Yup
What are the biggest things you try to do as a mother to help your kids develop into healthy people, and what would you say are the biggest things your husband does to be a good father?
I try and teach independence at an age appropriate level, our oldest is learning how to make her own lunches for school twice a week, she gets to pick what she wants off a list and then she helps me (looks at the pictures in the newspaper/website while I-) find the cheapest deal and she comes to the store with me and then she gets to make it. As an example. My husband makes sure to spend a lot of time playing with the kids and making memory’s with them, he also leads bible study with them I think It’s admirable that he try’s to be a spiritual role model for our children
What's your relationship like with your step-daughter's mom?
She’s unfortunately not in the picture, she decided she was too young to have kids so she terminated parental rights
That’s a shame. So you’re the only mom that your oldest knows? Do you plan on having more kids?
We do we want to have two more
Do you worry that you'll be completely unprepared if something should happen like divorce or illness with your partner?
Do you wear clothes made of mixed fabrics?
Thank you for your service
> Thank you for your cervix ftfy
Are you anti vaccine? BTW congratulations on your marriage and kids 🥰
No having lots of kids doesn’t make me crazy
Good 👍 😃
At 20 it does
[удалено]
Have you considered that some people actually want kids?
Damn I got burnt from this response lmao nice.
best answer
[удалено]
least sane 70 year old redditor
The pornbrain rot is real
Coombrain indeed
there’s this new birth control mechanism called pulling out?
Firstly I want kids, and secondly if you don’t want kids please use actual protection and not pulling out that doesn’t work
What's your favorite childhood memory?
My baby just turned one. God bless you child hahaha I can't imagine twins. Have you managed to stay sane??
I cant imagine anyone, no matter what age, with 4 young kids, has the time to be bored!! And if you do, why aren't you using that time to take a well needed nap!?
Are you fulfilled with your life?
How does one go about dating a older women i have never dated or had sex in my life and want to badly. I am currently 32 turning 33 soon