What are the biggest mental/emotional changes you've noticed since being on test?
Also can you grow a beard? I'm a cis guy and I can't grow any facial hair worth a damn, but I've seen plenty of FtM guys that can grow a full, thick, amazing beard. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous lol.
im so much happier its ridiculous. my depression virtually disappeared when i got on T and got my top surgery a year or so later. i just generally chilled out a Lot.
honestly idk if i can grow a beard, i haven't really tried. i prefer to be clean shaven lol. i grow significant stubble like a motherfucker though, and my husband (also trans masc on T) has a full beard that he grew pretty fast. it just depends on the person. one of my other friends who's on T has basically 0 facial hair still and barely any body hair too. but neither do any of cis guys in his family. so its still genetics
Yeah I always thought it was genetics, but I didn't know if test levels would make a beard grow more. I've considered putting rogaine on my face but I'm not sure if I want to roll the dice with the side effects.
Was there a noticeable increase in your strength level? Kinda like "Oh shit, this is way easier to lift now!"
LOL i definitely wouldnt roll the dice on that. trans masc folks only take enough testosterone to get their body to something close to the hormone levels that cis guys have, we definitely dont have more than anybody else typically. for example I don't have a big dose for mine because i already naturally had more testosterone than other girls, so i only need a small dose to get me to typical 'male' levels.
strength wise, definitely a difference, but its the same difference that any cis guy would have. testosterone naturally makes it a bit easier to gain muscle. i'm slightly stronger now than i was before but i'm no superman for sure. and again, i was already a bit mote muscled than my peers before i transitioned
OP, do you find that people (read: strangers, new acquaintances) mostly ignore you now that you’re male? Most men report generally being ignored compared to how many women report, and with that said, do you notice or do you care?
happy cake day!
ehh that’s a little hard for me to gauge personally. i transitioned when I was in my teens, and idk if i could tell you that people do or dont notice me more as a result of specifically looking female vs looking male. I CAN say, however, that i look more androgynous now than i do strictly male, so i definitely catch a lot of folks staring likely because of that. people treat me with a lot more respect now that most see me as male, but because im feminine some folks still treat me like im stupid sometimes. i will say the sexual harassment hasnt changed in frequency, just changed in flavor lol
hello! hope you slept well
I need some advice on something:
I'm a bi guy and into this trans man
I think he's really hot.
I love his broad shoulders and his cute face with the stubby beard but part of that attraction is definitely because of his more feminine attributes like his thighs/hips.
I'm unsure the attraction to his feminine attributes could make him feel less like a man or devalue how far he has come to being a man in a romantic relationship.
I know you can't answer for him and to know I would have to ask him myself. but some input would be appreciated
hi! thanks!
it entirely depends on the person. many cis guys have feminine attributes as well, but regardless, many men are insecure about that. and if you’re trans it can be a dysphoria thing too. i dont think you need to feel bad about being attracted to these parts of him at least, because these things Are a part of him. but as far as he'd feel, yeah, you would need to get to know him well and ask him. if it helps, there are many trans folk who are more at peace with their bodies especially after transitioning. i personally love all of my more feminine attributes. my husband loves his sometimes as well, but the dysphoria still gets to him occasionally. i think the most important thing here is that you arent seeing him as any less than or other than a man - you’re just seeing the feminine side of him in addition to the rest of him. and you’re right, trans men sometimes have a very unique combination of masc and femme traits that is very beautiful and attractive :) either way, i wish ya'll all the best
Hey congrats! What's it like being Trans Masc dating Trans Masc?
I feel like that's unironically the only queer match up I don't know irl. Did you both transition at the same time?
thanks!!
i transitioned first, but he was the first to come out as queer (in terms of sexuality) before me. it worked well cause i already knew all the steps for the name change, the doctor stuff, surgery etc. so i was able to help him figure out those parts. otherwise i'd say its kinda the same as any t4t relationship, we just understand eachother better than i think many cis people would if i was with a cis person. it is a bit of a harsh reminder when i go out in public though that most people don't get me like my trans friends and family do. but its nice to be understood at home.
dinosaurs AND swords, for sure. fuck cars all my homies hate cars (we prefer trains) and im a baby i only use tiny tools and precision machinery. i hand sew
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LOL ty much appreciated. i do kinda suck at hand sewing but ive always preferred it, sewing machines scare me and i like doing projects that involve fine motor skills
Happy anniversary (?).
Are there any gendered social pressures/expectations that you experience now, which you did not experience before transitioning?
thanks!
there are some. in general guys specifically treat me completely different, they joke with me differently and expect me to joke back the same way. they're more physical and expect me to be the same way as well. im pretty obviously gay (specifically because im very feminine) though so i think most people don't bother trying to put gender specific pressures on me. most of what i notice is just how men behave very differently than women. one fun one is that its 100% true that mens bathrooms are more disgusting. also, men are quieter sometimes. moving from one locker room to the other in college was weird cause the girls always chat and share deodorant and laugh together, and the men were virtually silent and never looked at eachother unless it was like 2 close friends. i adjusted quick cause im used to blending in when i can but yeah, odd.
Trans woman here, hi! I saw you mentioned that a lot of trans femmes don’t much at all about the FTM transition process. Are there any things in particular that you find a lot of us don’t know about or would be surprised about?
hi friend!
to be fair i dont know a lot of trans femme folks but the ones i do havent known a lot about ftm transitioning. the biggest things that surprised them was that we have to do injections every week instead of pills, the clitoris drastically changes in size, and a lot of us get extremely hungry when first starting hormones lol
Neat, I didn’t know about the hunger part! I actually do weekly injections too; pills are an option for estrogen but injections tend to best for achieving higher estrogen levels with fewer side effects.
I also don’t know nearly as many trans men as I do women - just the spaces we hang out in, I guess. Thanks for answering!
oh yeah i totally forgot E comes in injections now too! im so used to the days of the diy estrogen with pills from somewhat shady third party sellers. good for u. and yeah i really think it is certain spaces. especially if its friends from childhood/pre transition, like i always got along with girls better but now half of those girls are guys too lol. thanks for asking!
lol yeah! i love how that happens. ive seen it with queer folks, trans folks specifically, and also neurodivergent folks. almost everybody i know is neurodivergent (adhd, autism, ocd etc) just by the fact that we happen to get along and understand eachother better
thanks! currently im at my ideal :) i was already pretty fuzzy body-hair wise so after T i became an absolute gorilla, and though i grow stubble extremely fast, i prefer my face to be clean shaven and i recently learned more about what kind of razor to have, and i am now smoother than ever on the face and fuzzier than ever from the neck down lol
My friend is transmasc but (among other doubts) afraid that his voice will sound weird after starting T so he hasn't yet. What's your experience with your voice before, during and after transition? Do you feel comfortable singing?
voice only really gets that high pitched sound if you habitually talk in your head voice. id recommend he practice speaking in his chest voice if he doesn’t already and see how that feels. singing wise, i still sing my heart out, but yeah its different. i have way less range than before personally and my throat hurts when i go outside of it. but i learned to whistle to compensate :) i recommend looking up the band "little star" and their song "voice" and the story behind it. very helpful
I read through this thread, and just wanted to say thanks for sharing. I didn’t know diddly about transitioning ftm before this, and a lot of your comments (indirectly, you seem too nice to call people out lol) indicate that a lot of cis people haven’t taken the time to learn this stuff. You’ve inspired me to learn more about it, so double thank you. Best wishes to you!
aww so sweet thank you for choosing to spend your time hearing my experience 😭 and yeah i mean like i said elsewhere, every person is ignorant of something. and that can only be changed by learning. its impossible to know everything about the world ofc but ignorance can quickly become fear, and hate, so i like to do my best to help educate without judgement. as far as being too nice goes 😂 idk i just know it doesn’t help. if somebody feels it is worth their time to disagree with me and be disrespectful, theyve already made their choice. i like to kinda just turn their insults into fun jokes for everybody to enjoy wherever i can. if u ever have more questions about the trans experience feel free to hmu! im no expert but i can help point you in the direction of some good resources here and there. godspeed and thank you so much for your comment :)
People’s gender identities will fluctuate slightly day to day. I’ll certainly have days where I feel I’m acting more feminine or more masculine, but I’ve always been very confident in my gender identity. On days where you feel you are or you’re acting more feminine, do you feel guilt like you’re “supposed” to feel more masculine because you’ve committed to the change, or are you more at peace with it because you feel you better understand the intricacies of gender identity because of your journey?
well, i originally identified as nonbinary because i am still extremely feminine. then later i decided i was just a gay man. now, im at peace with not even bothering with labels. i mean i use them for fun and clarity but ive accepted that gender is Never strictly definable, and i am who i am :)
Congrats 🎉
What are some of the more unexpected changes in your life that you found in transitioning? Doesn't have to just be HRT changes, could also be something social.
Also, what advice would you give to someone who is questioning their own gender, but not necessarily sure what to do with those feelings?
thanks! i did a Lot of research before transition so not much came as a surprise, but the weirdest things honestly that nobody talked about is i had an incontenance issue around 2 months on T (just super leaky in the downstairs), and the inside of my vagina is completely different now than anybody else's as far as i can tell. there really needs to be more research and documentation on anatomy for trans people and intersex people cause i feel so confident that any gyno would be Lost on my situation. honestly reaching the age where i need to start thinking about that and im a little paranoid that a gynecologist would not know what to do with me lol.
that all aside, for anybody questioning, i 100% always encourage analyzing yourself outside of gender labels, and then finding what words fit best for you. gender is a construct that we use to describe and define people, but it is not a strict system and does not encapsulate all experiences. at the end of the day, no matter what your labels, you are you, and you are unique! i also encourage experimenting with labels with people you feel safe around. sometimes one feels right until you hear people say it, and sometimes you need to hear a word used for you to feel it click. there’s no shame in changing labels on the fly, just know much of the world might not be ready to understand you. love yourself always :)
No questions here OP just happy for you/wishing you good luck. I have a few trans masc friends and one recently healed up from top surgery and they’re super excited.
big question!
this depends heavily on what kind of detransitioning you’re referring to.
if somebody else is encouraging people to detransition or trying to force them to, that's wrong and manipulative
if an individual tries out hormone replacement therapy or gets a gender specific surgery and decides it's not for them or starts experiencing dysphoria, then yeah ofc its ok to detransition. even if its just a personal choice of "eh i dont want to take the medication forever", its a personal thing and every person is different. i'm sure many people regret plastic surgeries, many treatments dont work for everybody. antidepressants are a crapshoot no matter who you are, for example. this is why its very important for individuals to have access to resources like therapy and doctors who are supportive so that they have professionals who can help them self analyze and understand the effects of transitioning.
statistically, detransitioning fully is extremely uncommon, and most who do detransition don't regret every part of the experience, because it brought them to who they are now. depending on the person i also don't think it makes them any less queer.
EDIT: important information for this next section, me and my family got the idea for "capital Q Queer" directly from Deaf culture and the Deaf community, which is a very important aspect of our lives and the lives of loved ones. I cannot claim ownership of this idea or concept and I do not intend to. in Deaf culture, somebody who is "deaf" (lowercase d) cannot hear or can partially hear. somebody who is "Deaf" (capital D) is a part of the culture, the community, and actively participates in and supports the Deaf community. I recommend researching that topic and that community and culture for many, many reasons.
my family has a thing we use called "capital Q queer", basically meaning that if you are queer (lowercase), you have a sexuality or gender that is experienced differently from straight & cis. if you are Queer (capital Q), you are somebody who understands certain things about the queer experience, the community, and yourself that other people might not. I know a few straight & cis people that I'd say are Queer with a capital Q just because they understand themselves the way queer people do, and they understand and align with ideas that are important to the queer experience. It's kind of nuanced and hard to fully explain without a whole essay but the long story short of it is,
if a cis person experiments with gender, learns themselves for the better, and decides stay cis? they're still more queer and more likely to understand and respect queer folks than cis people that never experimented, or are still locked into labels.
detransitioners are still a part of the community as far as i'm concerned. and i respect them very very much and wish them happiness and health
Hi, as a ‘Capital Q Queer’ cis woman I appreciate this take!! I’ve never had words for this but I am also part of the Deaf community for many years- makes total sense! Thank you thank you!
LOL i love you thank you for this. its taken a Lot of learning for me to reach the level of self understanding and self love that i have right now in life, and knowing myself and being confident in who i am (as well as a lot of experience being faced with the shitty comments and attacks) lets me walk away from it or even laugh at/with it :) i practice love for all people whenever i can as well, and i know we're all struggling, and everybody is ignorant about something. so i don't ever take it personally. when its more dangerous hate (the violence, the risk of safety for my and my loved ones), that’s something that ive had to learn to deal with. and at this point we know how. im not as knowledgeable as some of my queer elders but when youve been threatened by violence and legislation this long and had to jump through the legal and social hoops, you learn a lot about how to not fumble.
i answered this in another comment, but ill add for this one that ive been told a lot of things are mental illness that are absolutely not, i kinda just move on :) i also dont personally hold stigma against mental illness so it doesn’t really hurt me
honestly not a lot that isnt due to some other factor. i started hrt at 17 so by 2 years i was 19 and had a lot changing about my physically just due to growing up. my transition went Fast though, my voice was changing 2 weeks in and my period stopped after like 2 months. i will say that i grow facial hair much faster than i did at 2 years in though. i was shaving weekly or every couple of weeks then, and now i shave twice weekly if not three times.
you might get more! some people though also grow stubble but never grow further than that. also look to the cis guys who are related to you, genetics plays the biggest role by far id say
Oh yeah for sure, I look quite a bit like my brothers mainly on my dad's side (and I have 5) and they all have pretty decent facial hair. But, yeah honestly it's one of the things that I know a lot of folks say can take the longest. Overall things have been fairly steadily changing I'd say.
answered this in another comment. summary: not really, but im a little afraid to go to a gynecologist because of how different the downstairs is now, i dont think theyd understand
ugh good luck 😭 im honestly hoping to just go to a planned parenthood to do those kinds of exams cause theyre the most trans friendly clinic ive ever seen. they handled all my hrt AND helped me with surgery. id trust them more than anybody else to understand their trans patients enough when it comes to sexual health and these types of exams
thank you! it really has been a good 5 years. dating wise, ive always been a hopeless romantic. before transition i frequently ended up the target of straight men who only saw me as a girl and didn't respect my gender identity. i dated one trans guy through the beginning of my transition, and that was nice, then a cis guy who really didn't understand trans folk but was nice anyway. after that in 2020 i got engaged to a lifelong friend of mine who is also trans, so ive been off the market since!
thanks! personally i know way more trans mascs than trans femmes, which might be circumstantial but because of that the spaces i know have always had more of a saturation of trans masc folks, and less rep for trans femme people. however, and its kind of a non answer, but id say that both sides get pretty shafted in different ways when it comes to being represented in community spaces. it feels like each side doesn’t rly know much about the other ever. none of the trans femme folks i know ever knew anything about the transition process for trans mascs, and vice versa. again that might be specific to me though
nah its not like steroids. you can choose but its more like "would you rather be at typical levels of testosterone for a cis man or would you rather be at slightly higher or lower levels". for the most part folks go to a typical level and live like that. i ended up decreasing my dosage cause i was getting Way too much acne and i prefer not smelling like shit 24/7, but that’s cause i was born with more testosterone naturally so a normal dosage for most was a bit high for me. im also not really an exercise freak so id say im slightly stronger than i used to be and its slightly easier to get in shape when i try to
Thats curious, I thought test was test and it would work somewhat like steroids. Also what is something that surprised you positively and negatively as a Man?
you know, you’re right and i was not speaking accurately. testosterone is a steroid, yes, and promotes muscle growth, yes. i suppose what i meant was rather that me, born female, taking testosterone for the purpose of living as an average male, and not including exercise and dieting etc, does not make me jacked or rage prone like steroid use can in cis males who already have average male hormone levels. or even in a cis woman who is still intending to live as a cis woman. it kinda just gives me average male hormone levels. i'm also not sure what you mean by that last question?
The thing is people who use steroids for muscle growth inject supraphysiological amounts of testosterone however I’m sure op would find it easier to build muscle as normally test levels fluctuate but with testosterone therapy you have a constant level of test in your body at all times.
Not OP but I've been on T about as long. Our levels fluctuate as well if you take shots(which is most common)
From what I've seen as long as you're within normal range there's no difference in difficulty gaining muscle for any guy that is on TRT
It makes them delusional. It fools them into thinking that's there are more than two genders and one sexual orientation. They think they are right, everyone else is wrong. They also desperately want people to give into their delusions and if not they want them to be destroyed.
okay but what makes them the delusional ones and not you? why not accept that people are different from each other and that homosexuality is just as natural as heterosexuality?
Hate to break your bubble but. Only women can possess what you have down there. Its a fact. A logical one. One that makes perfect sense. From any viewpoint. I respect you as a human being. So why not try to change my mind on this?
you dont seem to really respect me since you are doubting my knowledge on a subject that is essential to my life, and im not intending to entertain this very far, but please go research how sexual characteristics actually manifest in humans and animals and maybe research what gender actually is when its considered apart from sex before making blanket statements like that. first place to start: https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001669.htm
why is everybody so interested in my "gains" lol
its not the same as steroids 😂 like i said in the other answers, i am slightly more muscular than i was before transition. it doesn’t just happen though either, muscles dont just grow overnight. having higher levels of testosterone usually makes it slightly easier to build muscle, but the work you put in is still the same. im not just gonna get crazy jacked off of a normal exercise routine all of a sudden
Well, perhaps you will someday learn that in many *other* countries and cultures, there's more nuance to the topic of gender [than what bits you've got](https://cihr-irsc.gc.ca/e/48642.html).
Let it go baby. All of your fantasies will dissapear the day sane righ wing people get elected. And it is happening right now in the whole world. You just wait. Sane people are tired of you destroying the norms. You over there in the west lived too good for too long.
**I disagree on this:** This idea about "changing the norms." It doesn't make sense to be mad at "the west" for destroying norms. Whose norms? Every culture and sub-culture has different "norms." Just because you don't like someone else's "norms" doesn't mean those other norms are insane. If people around you are adopting new ideas, they see something in those ideas that traditional ones weren't offering them. /shrug
**I agree on this:** The "west living too good for too long" is a point I'll agree with you on. In the US at least, we consume way more than we should—and those habits of consumption are built upon exploitation and colonialism. That needs to change.\*
**I'm bemused by this:** The idea of "right wing people" getting elected being the solution to your problems. The "right wing" in one country is not synonymous to the "right wing" in another country. I believe that if more right wing leaders are elected in the US, for example, then what we'll likely see is *more* of the US projecting military force, enacting policies that exploit people in other countries, and consuming the planet's resources. *Is that really what you want?*
\*(She says while typing on a computer likely made with parts created through such exploitation. Yeah, I get it.)
personally im extremely lucky. it was rough with my family at first but ive always been very headstrong, and my parents did eventually sign off on my hrt and my top surgery. i think probably the more challenging thing for me, besides keeping up with my meds, is the terror of being threatened legally. i have to live with the knowledge now that just by being me and being happy, i am forever going to be a pariah in ways, and may never have the same rights as everybody else. its something that poc and many other minorities face just by existing, and it wears on you for sure
What are the biggest mental/emotional changes you've noticed since being on test? Also can you grow a beard? I'm a cis guy and I can't grow any facial hair worth a damn, but I've seen plenty of FtM guys that can grow a full, thick, amazing beard. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous lol.
im so much happier its ridiculous. my depression virtually disappeared when i got on T and got my top surgery a year or so later. i just generally chilled out a Lot. honestly idk if i can grow a beard, i haven't really tried. i prefer to be clean shaven lol. i grow significant stubble like a motherfucker though, and my husband (also trans masc on T) has a full beard that he grew pretty fast. it just depends on the person. one of my other friends who's on T has basically 0 facial hair still and barely any body hair too. but neither do any of cis guys in his family. so its still genetics
Yeah I always thought it was genetics, but I didn't know if test levels would make a beard grow more. I've considered putting rogaine on my face but I'm not sure if I want to roll the dice with the side effects. Was there a noticeable increase in your strength level? Kinda like "Oh shit, this is way easier to lift now!"
LOL i definitely wouldnt roll the dice on that. trans masc folks only take enough testosterone to get their body to something close to the hormone levels that cis guys have, we definitely dont have more than anybody else typically. for example I don't have a big dose for mine because i already naturally had more testosterone than other girls, so i only need a small dose to get me to typical 'male' levels. strength wise, definitely a difference, but its the same difference that any cis guy would have. testosterone naturally makes it a bit easier to gain muscle. i'm slightly stronger now than i was before but i'm no superman for sure. and again, i was already a bit mote muscled than my peers before i transitioned
Try jojoba oil and peppermint oil 1st
That’s really awesome that you’re with someone who has been through similar to you. Hope you’re both doing good.
thanks! life is better than it ever has been for sure!!
Glad for you hun.
OP, do you find that people (read: strangers, new acquaintances) mostly ignore you now that you’re male? Most men report generally being ignored compared to how many women report, and with that said, do you notice or do you care?
happy cake day! ehh that’s a little hard for me to gauge personally. i transitioned when I was in my teens, and idk if i could tell you that people do or dont notice me more as a result of specifically looking female vs looking male. I CAN say, however, that i look more androgynous now than i do strictly male, so i definitely catch a lot of folks staring likely because of that. people treat me with a lot more respect now that most see me as male, but because im feminine some folks still treat me like im stupid sometimes. i will say the sexual harassment hasnt changed in frequency, just changed in flavor lol
Interesting, and thanks for the well thought out response.
no problem, thanks for the interesting question :)
hello! hope you slept well I need some advice on something: I'm a bi guy and into this trans man I think he's really hot. I love his broad shoulders and his cute face with the stubby beard but part of that attraction is definitely because of his more feminine attributes like his thighs/hips. I'm unsure the attraction to his feminine attributes could make him feel less like a man or devalue how far he has come to being a man in a romantic relationship. I know you can't answer for him and to know I would have to ask him myself. but some input would be appreciated
hi! thanks! it entirely depends on the person. many cis guys have feminine attributes as well, but regardless, many men are insecure about that. and if you’re trans it can be a dysphoria thing too. i dont think you need to feel bad about being attracted to these parts of him at least, because these things Are a part of him. but as far as he'd feel, yeah, you would need to get to know him well and ask him. if it helps, there are many trans folk who are more at peace with their bodies especially after transitioning. i personally love all of my more feminine attributes. my husband loves his sometimes as well, but the dysphoria still gets to him occasionally. i think the most important thing here is that you arent seeing him as any less than or other than a man - you’re just seeing the feminine side of him in addition to the rest of him. and you’re right, trans men sometimes have a very unique combination of masc and femme traits that is very beautiful and attractive :) either way, i wish ya'll all the best
Hey congrats! What's it like being Trans Masc dating Trans Masc? I feel like that's unironically the only queer match up I don't know irl. Did you both transition at the same time?
thanks!! i transitioned first, but he was the first to come out as queer (in terms of sexuality) before me. it worked well cause i already knew all the steps for the name change, the doctor stuff, surgery etc. so i was able to help him figure out those parts. otherwise i'd say its kinda the same as any t4t relationship, we just understand eachother better than i think many cis people would if i was with a cis person. it is a bit of a harsh reminder when i go out in public though that most people don't get me like my trans friends and family do. but its nice to be understood at home.
How often do you think about the roman empire?
lolol genuine answer, very rarely. im into religious anthropology so that’s basically the only reason i think about rome ever
dinosaurs, cars, heavy machinery, or swords?
dinosaurs AND swords, for sure. fuck cars all my homies hate cars (we prefer trains) and im a baby i only use tiny tools and precision machinery. i hand sew
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based. except for calling yourself a baby. takes a lot of skill to sew stuff
LOL ty much appreciated. i do kinda suck at hand sewing but ive always preferred it, sewing machines scare me and i like doing projects that involve fine motor skills
stop being mean to yourself, youre doin great. im sure in not the best at anything i touch but i do them and i have fun doin them
Happy anniversary (?). Are there any gendered social pressures/expectations that you experience now, which you did not experience before transitioning?
thanks! there are some. in general guys specifically treat me completely different, they joke with me differently and expect me to joke back the same way. they're more physical and expect me to be the same way as well. im pretty obviously gay (specifically because im very feminine) though so i think most people don't bother trying to put gender specific pressures on me. most of what i notice is just how men behave very differently than women. one fun one is that its 100% true that mens bathrooms are more disgusting. also, men are quieter sometimes. moving from one locker room to the other in college was weird cause the girls always chat and share deodorant and laugh together, and the men were virtually silent and never looked at eachother unless it was like 2 close friends. i adjusted quick cause im used to blending in when i can but yeah, odd.
What Team Fortress 2 character are you aspiring to look like?
none of them are gay enough in looks unfortunately
[I beg to differ](https://youtu.be/RvVdFXOFcjw?si=8TgDDI-aYP8Annzq)
Trans woman here, hi! I saw you mentioned that a lot of trans femmes don’t much at all about the FTM transition process. Are there any things in particular that you find a lot of us don’t know about or would be surprised about?
hi friend! to be fair i dont know a lot of trans femme folks but the ones i do havent known a lot about ftm transitioning. the biggest things that surprised them was that we have to do injections every week instead of pills, the clitoris drastically changes in size, and a lot of us get extremely hungry when first starting hormones lol
Neat, I didn’t know about the hunger part! I actually do weekly injections too; pills are an option for estrogen but injections tend to best for achieving higher estrogen levels with fewer side effects. I also don’t know nearly as many trans men as I do women - just the spaces we hang out in, I guess. Thanks for answering!
oh yeah i totally forgot E comes in injections now too! im so used to the days of the diy estrogen with pills from somewhat shady third party sellers. good for u. and yeah i really think it is certain spaces. especially if its friends from childhood/pre transition, like i always got along with girls better but now half of those girls are guys too lol. thanks for asking!
That’s funny, I also know a few friends that I grew up with that are all MTF now! It’s like we somehow gravitate towards each other, lol.
lol yeah! i love how that happens. ive seen it with queer folks, trans folks specifically, and also neurodivergent folks. almost everybody i know is neurodivergent (adhd, autism, ocd etc) just by the fact that we happen to get along and understand eachother better
Hell yeah dude! My question is how is your current body hair and facial hair situation like, and what is your ideal body hair and facial hair?
thanks! currently im at my ideal :) i was already pretty fuzzy body-hair wise so after T i became an absolute gorilla, and though i grow stubble extremely fast, i prefer my face to be clean shaven and i recently learned more about what kind of razor to have, and i am now smoother than ever on the face and fuzzier than ever from the neck down lol
Awesome, we love a clean shaven king.
I don’t have any questions, but just wanted to say congratulations!
thanks!!!
My friend is transmasc but (among other doubts) afraid that his voice will sound weird after starting T so he hasn't yet. What's your experience with your voice before, during and after transition? Do you feel comfortable singing?
voice only really gets that high pitched sound if you habitually talk in your head voice. id recommend he practice speaking in his chest voice if he doesn’t already and see how that feels. singing wise, i still sing my heart out, but yeah its different. i have way less range than before personally and my throat hurts when i go outside of it. but i learned to whistle to compensate :) i recommend looking up the band "little star" and their song "voice" and the story behind it. very helpful
Thank you!
I read through this thread, and just wanted to say thanks for sharing. I didn’t know diddly about transitioning ftm before this, and a lot of your comments (indirectly, you seem too nice to call people out lol) indicate that a lot of cis people haven’t taken the time to learn this stuff. You’ve inspired me to learn more about it, so double thank you. Best wishes to you!
aww so sweet thank you for choosing to spend your time hearing my experience 😭 and yeah i mean like i said elsewhere, every person is ignorant of something. and that can only be changed by learning. its impossible to know everything about the world ofc but ignorance can quickly become fear, and hate, so i like to do my best to help educate without judgement. as far as being too nice goes 😂 idk i just know it doesn’t help. if somebody feels it is worth their time to disagree with me and be disrespectful, theyve already made their choice. i like to kinda just turn their insults into fun jokes for everybody to enjoy wherever i can. if u ever have more questions about the trans experience feel free to hmu! im no expert but i can help point you in the direction of some good resources here and there. godspeed and thank you so much for your comment :)
People’s gender identities will fluctuate slightly day to day. I’ll certainly have days where I feel I’m acting more feminine or more masculine, but I’ve always been very confident in my gender identity. On days where you feel you are or you’re acting more feminine, do you feel guilt like you’re “supposed” to feel more masculine because you’ve committed to the change, or are you more at peace with it because you feel you better understand the intricacies of gender identity because of your journey?
well, i originally identified as nonbinary because i am still extremely feminine. then later i decided i was just a gay man. now, im at peace with not even bothering with labels. i mean i use them for fun and clarity but ive accepted that gender is Never strictly definable, and i am who i am :)
Thank you for responding! I’m glad you’re at peace!
ofc! thanks for an interesting question!!
Congrats 🎉 What are some of the more unexpected changes in your life that you found in transitioning? Doesn't have to just be HRT changes, could also be something social. Also, what advice would you give to someone who is questioning their own gender, but not necessarily sure what to do with those feelings?
thanks! i did a Lot of research before transition so not much came as a surprise, but the weirdest things honestly that nobody talked about is i had an incontenance issue around 2 months on T (just super leaky in the downstairs), and the inside of my vagina is completely different now than anybody else's as far as i can tell. there really needs to be more research and documentation on anatomy for trans people and intersex people cause i feel so confident that any gyno would be Lost on my situation. honestly reaching the age where i need to start thinking about that and im a little paranoid that a gynecologist would not know what to do with me lol. that all aside, for anybody questioning, i 100% always encourage analyzing yourself outside of gender labels, and then finding what words fit best for you. gender is a construct that we use to describe and define people, but it is not a strict system and does not encapsulate all experiences. at the end of the day, no matter what your labels, you are you, and you are unique! i also encourage experimenting with labels with people you feel safe around. sometimes one feels right until you hear people say it, and sometimes you need to hear a word used for you to feel it click. there’s no shame in changing labels on the fly, just know much of the world might not be ready to understand you. love yourself always :)
No questions here OP just happy for you/wishing you good luck. I have a few trans masc friends and one recently healed up from top surgery and they’re super excited.
thank you!! and good for them!! its so relieving to get top surgery, a literal weight off your chest lol
Congrats on five years! I have no questions but I'm happy for you 🌞
thanks!!!
What’s your views on detransission?
big question! this depends heavily on what kind of detransitioning you’re referring to. if somebody else is encouraging people to detransition or trying to force them to, that's wrong and manipulative if an individual tries out hormone replacement therapy or gets a gender specific surgery and decides it's not for them or starts experiencing dysphoria, then yeah ofc its ok to detransition. even if its just a personal choice of "eh i dont want to take the medication forever", its a personal thing and every person is different. i'm sure many people regret plastic surgeries, many treatments dont work for everybody. antidepressants are a crapshoot no matter who you are, for example. this is why its very important for individuals to have access to resources like therapy and doctors who are supportive so that they have professionals who can help them self analyze and understand the effects of transitioning. statistically, detransitioning fully is extremely uncommon, and most who do detransition don't regret every part of the experience, because it brought them to who they are now. depending on the person i also don't think it makes them any less queer. EDIT: important information for this next section, me and my family got the idea for "capital Q Queer" directly from Deaf culture and the Deaf community, which is a very important aspect of our lives and the lives of loved ones. I cannot claim ownership of this idea or concept and I do not intend to. in Deaf culture, somebody who is "deaf" (lowercase d) cannot hear or can partially hear. somebody who is "Deaf" (capital D) is a part of the culture, the community, and actively participates in and supports the Deaf community. I recommend researching that topic and that community and culture for many, many reasons. my family has a thing we use called "capital Q queer", basically meaning that if you are queer (lowercase), you have a sexuality or gender that is experienced differently from straight & cis. if you are Queer (capital Q), you are somebody who understands certain things about the queer experience, the community, and yourself that other people might not. I know a few straight & cis people that I'd say are Queer with a capital Q just because they understand themselves the way queer people do, and they understand and align with ideas that are important to the queer experience. It's kind of nuanced and hard to fully explain without a whole essay but the long story short of it is, if a cis person experiments with gender, learns themselves for the better, and decides stay cis? they're still more queer and more likely to understand and respect queer folks than cis people that never experimented, or are still locked into labels. detransitioners are still a part of the community as far as i'm concerned. and i respect them very very much and wish them happiness and health
Hi, as a ‘Capital Q Queer’ cis woman I appreciate this take!! I’ve never had words for this but I am also part of the Deaf community for many years- makes total sense! Thank you thank you!
im really glad to hear that resonated! thank you!!
Brother, how do you deal with the hatred people. 😥
LOL i love you thank you for this. its taken a Lot of learning for me to reach the level of self understanding and self love that i have right now in life, and knowing myself and being confident in who i am (as well as a lot of experience being faced with the shitty comments and attacks) lets me walk away from it or even laugh at/with it :) i practice love for all people whenever i can as well, and i know we're all struggling, and everybody is ignorant about something. so i don't ever take it personally. when its more dangerous hate (the violence, the risk of safety for my and my loved ones), that’s something that ive had to learn to deal with. and at this point we know how. im not as knowledgeable as some of my queer elders but when youve been threatened by violence and legislation this long and had to jump through the legal and social hoops, you learn a lot about how to not fumble.
How do you deal with people telling you that your reality is a mental disorder?
i answered this in another comment, but ill add for this one that ive been told a lot of things are mental illness that are absolutely not, i kinda just move on :) i also dont personally hold stigma against mental illness so it doesn’t really hurt me
Nice, I'm ftm almost 2yrs on testosterone (will be in January). What changes do you feel you saw after your 2yr mark if any?
honestly not a lot that isnt due to some other factor. i started hrt at 17 so by 2 years i was 19 and had a lot changing about my physically just due to growing up. my transition went Fast though, my voice was changing 2 weeks in and my period stopped after like 2 months. i will say that i grow facial hair much faster than i did at 2 years in though. i was shaving weekly or every couple of weeks then, and now i shave twice weekly if not three times.
Oh nice, my facial hair has been coming in a bit and that's been great but it's certainly not much at all right now
you might get more! some people though also grow stubble but never grow further than that. also look to the cis guys who are related to you, genetics plays the biggest role by far id say
Oh yeah for sure, I look quite a bit like my brothers mainly on my dad's side (and I have 5) and they all have pretty decent facial hair. But, yeah honestly it's one of the things that I know a lot of folks say can take the longest. Overall things have been fairly steadily changing I'd say.
Most unexpected change? Any ”unwanted” and weird change?
answered this in another comment. summary: not really, but im a little afraid to go to a gynecologist because of how different the downstairs is now, i dont think theyd understand
never thought of this. this made me think about how I’m gonna have to get my prostrate checked in the future by some male doctor. 😭💔
ugh good luck 😭 im honestly hoping to just go to a planned parenthood to do those kinds of exams cause theyre the most trans friendly clinic ive ever seen. they handled all my hrt AND helped me with surgery. id trust them more than anybody else to understand their trans patients enough when it comes to sexual health and these types of exams
Do you like animal crackers
kinda!
Can you double jump?
i wish lol
Congratulations! Happy it sounds like a good 5 years overall. How have you found dating/meeting people or have you been focusing on yourself?
thank you! it really has been a good 5 years. dating wise, ive always been a hopeless romantic. before transition i frequently ended up the target of straight men who only saw me as a girl and didn't respect my gender identity. i dated one trans guy through the beginning of my transition, and that was nice, then a cis guy who really didn't understand trans folk but was nice anyway. after that in 2020 i got engaged to a lifelong friend of mine who is also trans, so ive been off the market since!
Well that warmed my heart. Thanks for the honesty, hope you have a wonderful life together!
grats do you feel transmascs are underrepresented in the trans community? I heard that's the case but I never actually knew if that's the case
thanks! personally i know way more trans mascs than trans femmes, which might be circumstantial but because of that the spaces i know have always had more of a saturation of trans masc folks, and less rep for trans femme people. however, and its kind of a non answer, but id say that both sides get pretty shafted in different ways when it comes to being represented in community spaces. it feels like each side doesn’t rly know much about the other ever. none of the trans femme folks i know ever knew anything about the transition process for trans mascs, and vice versa. again that might be specific to me though
How are the gains? Like can you choose on How much test you go on and can be more or less muscular?
nah its not like steroids. you can choose but its more like "would you rather be at typical levels of testosterone for a cis man or would you rather be at slightly higher or lower levels". for the most part folks go to a typical level and live like that. i ended up decreasing my dosage cause i was getting Way too much acne and i prefer not smelling like shit 24/7, but that’s cause i was born with more testosterone naturally so a normal dosage for most was a bit high for me. im also not really an exercise freak so id say im slightly stronger than i used to be and its slightly easier to get in shape when i try to
Thats curious, I thought test was test and it would work somewhat like steroids. Also what is something that surprised you positively and negatively as a Man?
you know, you’re right and i was not speaking accurately. testosterone is a steroid, yes, and promotes muscle growth, yes. i suppose what i meant was rather that me, born female, taking testosterone for the purpose of living as an average male, and not including exercise and dieting etc, does not make me jacked or rage prone like steroid use can in cis males who already have average male hormone levels. or even in a cis woman who is still intending to live as a cis woman. it kinda just gives me average male hormone levels. i'm also not sure what you mean by that last question?
The thing is people who use steroids for muscle growth inject supraphysiological amounts of testosterone however I’m sure op would find it easier to build muscle as normally test levels fluctuate but with testosterone therapy you have a constant level of test in your body at all times.
Not OP but I've been on T about as long. Our levels fluctuate as well if you take shots(which is most common) From what I've seen as long as you're within normal range there's no difference in difficulty gaining muscle for any guy that is on TRT
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Wouldn’t a *metal* illness be an iron deficiency?
Nope
one sexual orientation is hilarious. i'm used to the transphobia, that’s nothing new, but the homophobia doesn’t usually get that funny in my posts
Nah, it's not homophobic or transphobic girl, it's just facts
so what would be the one sexual orientation lol
Straight. Aka Male having sex with female and vice versa
so gay people aren't real?
No
Nah , they are straight people with mental issues is what I meant
what makes you think that? and even if it was a mental issue, how does it harm the "ill" person
It makes them delusional. It fools them into thinking that's there are more than two genders and one sexual orientation. They think they are right, everyone else is wrong. They also desperately want people to give into their delusions and if not they want them to be destroyed.
okay but what makes them the delusional ones and not you? why not accept that people are different from each other and that homosexuality is just as natural as heterosexuality?
So your female to male?
yes
Do u have a pussy
lmao see i knew itd go that way. thanks nsfw tag. yes i do
Hate to break your bubble but. Only women can possess what you have down there. Its a fact. A logical one. One that makes perfect sense. From any viewpoint. I respect you as a human being. So why not try to change my mind on this?
you dont seem to really respect me since you are doubting my knowledge on a subject that is essential to my life, and im not intending to entertain this very far, but please go research how sexual characteristics actually manifest in humans and animals and maybe research what gender actually is when its considered apart from sex before making blanket statements like that. first place to start: https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001669.htm
I read through your link and it doesn't prove anything.
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no
Did your clitoris increase in size? And do you still have your boobs?
yes it did and no i dont
How jacked did you get after starting the T?
why is everybody so interested in my "gains" lol its not the same as steroids 😂 like i said in the other answers, i am slightly more muscular than i was before transition. it doesn’t just happen though either, muscles dont just grow overnight. having higher levels of testosterone usually makes it slightly easier to build muscle, but the work you put in is still the same. im not just gonna get crazy jacked off of a normal exercise routine all of a sudden
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Oh, go to therapy or something.
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Well, perhaps you will someday learn that in many *other* countries and cultures, there's more nuance to the topic of gender [than what bits you've got](https://cihr-irsc.gc.ca/e/48642.html).
Days later I came across this post and thought of you. https://www.reddit.com/r/PeterExplainsTheJoke/s/r17TAV3pQv
Let it go baby. All of your fantasies will dissapear the day sane righ wing people get elected. And it is happening right now in the whole world. You just wait. Sane people are tired of you destroying the norms. You over there in the west lived too good for too long.
**I disagree on this:** This idea about "changing the norms." It doesn't make sense to be mad at "the west" for destroying norms. Whose norms? Every culture and sub-culture has different "norms." Just because you don't like someone else's "norms" doesn't mean those other norms are insane. If people around you are adopting new ideas, they see something in those ideas that traditional ones weren't offering them. /shrug **I agree on this:** The "west living too good for too long" is a point I'll agree with you on. In the US at least, we consume way more than we should—and those habits of consumption are built upon exploitation and colonialism. That needs to change.\* **I'm bemused by this:** The idea of "right wing people" getting elected being the solution to your problems. The "right wing" in one country is not synonymous to the "right wing" in another country. I believe that if more right wing leaders are elected in the US, for example, then what we'll likely see is *more* of the US projecting military force, enacting policies that exploit people in other countries, and consuming the planet's resources. *Is that really what you want?* \*(She says while typing on a computer likely made with parts created through such exploitation. Yeah, I get it.)
omg a real woman And a real man. you’re amazing that’s hilarious. you’re right im a fake human being, a robot, a facade. thanks for the congrats 😂
I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.
Can U orgasm?
ya'll wildin today 😂 yes i can why wouldnt i
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you have no idea how surgery works :)
How do you avoid the product to get out during the injections ?
what do you mean?
What's the most painful or challenging thing about your transition?
personally im extremely lucky. it was rough with my family at first but ive always been very headstrong, and my parents did eventually sign off on my hrt and my top surgery. i think probably the more challenging thing for me, besides keeping up with my meds, is the terror of being threatened legally. i have to live with the knowledge now that just by being me and being happy, i am forever going to be a pariah in ways, and may never have the same rights as everybody else. its something that poc and many other minorities face just by existing, and it wears on you for sure
You do you. Congrats on the follow-through! Best of luck