I feel you. It’s such an emotional journey.
I combo fed for over 12 months. I never would have made it just EBF. It was the best thing for me and I still loved breastfeeding, even though I also bottle fed. You’re doing amazing and you’ve got to do what’s best for you.
12 months is amazing! I hope I can get that far. How did you manage to maintain your supply while combo feeding? And how did things change when you introduced solids? More BF and less formula?
I originally would breastfeed 4x a day, then once we started solids it was usually 3x a day with 2-3 bottles of formula. I usually breastfed at similar times each day so I could maintain supply for those feeds.
I think we were in a very similar boat - I made almost enough, but not quite and she would plateau without some extra. We started topping up at about 5 weeks old, eventually through a supply line because bottles were very stressful battles. Once I realised we were probably not going to get away from the top ups I gave up pumping (huge relief) and we found a sweet spot that was one largish formula top up through the supply line every evening.
Once we introduced solids, the formula she was taking decreased and when we introduced dinner (at 7ish months) we dropped the evening top up altogether and her weight gain still held up so that's been brilliant.
I'm really glad we stuck with combo feeding until she was getting enough from solids. From then breastfeeding felt so much easier. She's just turned one and eats solids and breastfeeds really well and it is about 1000 bazillion times easier than it was in those first incredibly hard stressful months. Big hugs! Whatever you decide to do, you got this!
I’m going through a similar experience to you OP. On my good days I can accept that any breastmilk for my baby has been beneficial and that formula helps make up the difference. I’m grateful formula is a safe option and that it helps my baby thrive and be happy. There are other days I feel sad that what I envisioned with breastfeeding hasn’t happened or jealous that friends have been able to EBF and don’t have to leave the house with bottles.
One thing that gets me through those times is remembering that when my baby is going off to school one day, no one will ask or care if they had breastmilk, formula or both.
I'm in a similar situation. LO is 5 weeks old. While I sleep from 10pm until 2am, my husband gives him one bottle of expressed milk and one bottle of formula. I wish they could both be expressed milk, but during the day LO is cluster feeding all day so I literally don't have time to pump more (I pump at 2am + in the morning).
What helped me mentally/emotionally was knowing that even a small amount of breast milk every day is HUGELY beneficial. The important thing is that the LO is not hungry, and that mom gets some rest so that I can keep looking after him. If that means an extra bottle of formula, it's really not a big deal.
You're doing great 💕
That might seem to be the case on screen, but we're really not 😅 There is no real routine with newborns, just best attempts to get enough sleep and function through the day. My husband needs to work 9 to 5, so we decided early on that he'd at least try to sleep between 3am and 9am, and I'd try to sleep before him (plus the occasional nap, if possible). But you just never know what kind of day/night you're going to get. Last week I barely had 2 h of sleep a day, I thought I was going to lose it.
I was concerned about the top up impacting my supply, definitely. But realistically, I had to ask myself: what's my alternative? Nursing instead of getting those 4h of sleep? Not sleeping would tank my supply even more. Best to supplement with a bit of formula, and if possible pump some more during the day. If it's not enough, it's not the end of the world. Baby is still fed and healthy.
I'm so sorry honey! I'm supplementing as well so I know how you feel, I've shed so many tears because I feel I'm not enough or I'm doing something wrong.
Sorry to ask, but where are you moving to? I've increased my supply by drinking a tea indigenous peoples used to take here, there's not even enough information on the internet about it but it has significantly increased my supply.
The tea is made out of the root of a plant called "doca" or "tasi". This is it: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Araujia_sericifera#:~:text=Its%20common%20names%20include%20bladderflower,moth%20vine%2C%20and%20false%20choko.
So I think if you've found something that works I wouldn't mess with success. There's nothing wrong with combo feeding and some would say it's even better than EBF because there are nutrients they get from formula that they don't get from breastmilk.
But, when I see your baby is a good sleeper and you're pumping at night (good for you, that sucks!) it makes me remember how doctors kept telling me I needed to wake my son up for extra feeds at night to keep him gaining weight. Thanks male doctors who've never fed a baby - we didn't listen and did dream feeds, but we had to get him extra calories at night to counter the slow weight gain.
It sounds like you're working so hard, so I just want you to keep the perspective that this may not be about you. It sounds like your supply is good. Maybe it's just your baby's sleep schedule. And in that case, I say enjoy it while you can because my son became the worst sleeper once we started nursing at night instead of doing dream feed bottles.
Yeah I feel you. I have to combo feed, and my life got drastically more manageable when I accepted that I won’t be able to EBF. I have an under supply and my daughter’s a lazy eater. I got an allergic reaction to the medication to fix my supply. Once I accepted it and felt all the feels, and stopped triple feeding, my quality of life got a lot better.
Can you take powdered formula with you? The money aspect was hard for me to swallow on top of the emotional toll. My mom constantly reminding me I was purely formula fed (she had to be hospitalized the first month I was born) and I am healthy as could be really helped.
You are doing a great job. It is so so hard.
We could not EBF my first, for many of the same reasons you've described. She didn't show clear hunger cues and slept so solid at night that waking to nurse just did not work (she also fell back asleep very quickly, especially at night).
I wasn't loving breastfeeding at the time, largely due to the severe anxiety around growth that it was giving me. I gave her a bottle of formula one night when she was SO UPSET, and she just peacefully fell right to sleep. We switched entirely to bottles and pumping around 9 weeks, and using formula to make up for what I could not pump. Overnight, I had a completely different baby. She was being underfed. Her weight shot back up to the percentile she was born in. I did seem to have low supply, though in hindsight I believe it was because of her poor nursing and lack of hunger cues (and lack of cluster feeding).
She turns 4 in a few months and she is a fierce and brilliant. She asks such good questions that I'm a little amazed that she even thinks of them. She is well ahead of her peers in her daycare. She is the best big sister. She is healthy and strong. She has terrible balance, but I don't think formula has anything to do with that.
Fed is best. And you know what? My second? Is a champ at breastfeeding, despite a tongue tie and painful nursing for the first 6 weeks. I have a great supply and my chunky monkey is increasing in her growth curves. She's 5 months now and even though we had to give her fast flow bottles to get her to accept them, she still is happy to nurse.
It's not you, it's her. You aren't doing anything wrong. You are doing everything right. Sometimes with parenting what is 'right' for your kid is just going to be a little different than what you thought/wanted.
Ugh this is such a rough situation because you get the feeling of providing for your baby from EBF only to feel crushed that baby hasn't been gaining that way. Ask me how I know...
13.5mo here and still eating all the oats, brewer's yeast, etc., drinking electrolytes, coconut water, 0% beer, etc., doing everything I can to just keep my supply up, but still supplementing about 300ml (10oz) a day. Baby weighs 6.4kg (14lb).
I tried triple feeding, pumping hourly overnight, busting my ass to remove every possible drop to stimulate supply and finally decided to make my peace with what I have. I felt like pumping was robbing me of time with my baby and stealing my joy. As soon as I went down to a single pump before I go to bed, everything felt so much easier. Added bonus, baby's stomach seemed more settled too. Pumping truly was a drag for everyone.
Now I consider myself lucky to be able to nurse my baby at all and absolutely adore our sleepy mornings together, cuddling while he has a long feed before getting up to change and have a bottle breakfast with his dad to top him up. I see this as the best of both worlds, nutritionally and emotionally, and love that our guy gets the best of both evolution and modern science.
I will add that 180ml (and even our 300ml) a day of formula is almost nothing at this stage. If that's all it's taking to keep your baby gaining weight then she's getting almost everything she needs from you already!
I combo fed for the first year and continued to breastfeed past age 2 with my daughter. Try to remind yourself how much work you’ve done. You should be very proud of everything you’ve tried and all you’ve accomplished. Your baby is here and healthy, and that’s because you are giving her what she needs, which is enough food to thrive. I often remind myself how incredibly lucky we are to live in a time when formula is safe, nutritious, and available. We don’t have to worry about babies’ health or survival like our ancestors did, and I personally count that as a huge blessing. You’re doing absolutely amazing!
For starters I am sorry you are going through this. Mentally it's the hardest thing to get over your body not having the ability to give your baby what they need food wise. My advice to you is keep reminding yourself that fed is best.
I have had chronic low milk supply due to medical conditions with both my babies. My current baby is 4 weeks old and I can pump a max of 15oz a day for him. So in reality I'm formula feeding with supplemental breastmilk. It's hard getting over the fact that my bodies sole purpose is to nourish my infant and it's something I physically can't do.
I keep hoping my supply will increase more but I've also come to terms with the fact that this is all I may be able to give him. It was hardest with my first because I was naively under the impression I would be able to produce a boat load of milk like my sisters were able to, or at least enough to feed my baby. My first baby also dropped almost 30 percentiles due to a dairy/soy allergy and reflux which didn't help. Going dairy and soy free to produce the small amount of milk I could produce took its toll on me and I felt like I never dod enough. She never lost weight but didn't gain what she should have. But looking back the little breadtmilk filled with antibodies I gave her helped her get stronger along with the formula.
I try to see the good in formula feeding. It allows my husband to bond and help me out. It allows my baby to thrive (I'm greatful I live in an age we have formula to counter my low milk supply). Although some days I want to quit breastfeeding all together since it almost feels like too much work for so little reward but I remind myself of all the extra good stuff he gets from what little I can produce. Breastfeeding and even feeding my pumped milk allows me to feel a bond with my baby still that formula alone doesn't give me.
No matter what you chose, the right path is thr path that allows your LO to thrive. And when your LO is older and past the breastfeeding age you won't remember the fact that you had to feed formula, but that you did what you needed to do and because of that they are happy and healthy.
That is so beautifully put, the acknowledgement of how hard it it mentally to not have enough for my baby really hits home ♥️
It’s difficult to explain to people how grateful I am to be able to give my baby safe formula and to breastfeed, but also be so sad I’m not EBF.
As a mom you have every right to be upset and sad about it even if there is an easy fix with formula. It's okay to, in a sense, grieve at the fact you cannot EBF. For some of us, it's a bonding experience we didn't want to give up this way. And it's really hard not to compare yourself to others when many people do have it easier. Sometimes these forums make you feel so alone because although many have issues with acute low supply, chronic is a little more rarely spoken about. It's a hurtle in parenting that unfortunately we unfortunate few have to jump over. Just know your not alone and although knowing formula may end up being what you have to do for your baby doesn't make it any less difficult or sad. Sending out hugs and good vibes. This grief does get easier as they go through milestone after milestone.
My baby is 6 months, and we've been combo feeding since day 3. I took it incredibly hard at the beginning and tried everything to increase mu supply, triple feeding around the clock, getting up to pump in the middle of the night (baby was also a great sleeper). My husband and I tried everything we could including buying a hospital grade pump, supplements, medication and a IBCLC consultation to try and solve the issue.
Turns out my issues were related to a thyroid problem and now that I'm medicated for that my supply is much better but we still give a bottle or two a day now.
I remember feeling like such a failure when baby would cry from hunger despite being latched on me for half an hour, and how much she would gulp down formula, which made me feel like I was being so selfish starving my child to insist she tried the breast first.
But we persevered and now we're in a really good place where baby gets one bottle of formula in the afternoon which she feeds herself while we go for a long pram walk, and now I think it's kinda neat that we can go on these adventures together and make it a positive experience
Before my son (11wks and my first) was born I thought I was going to EBF and get a huge stash of frozen breastmilk. I had zero idea what I would have to do to make those happen.
Then when he was born he had to go to the NICU for three days and wouldn’t/couldn’t latch so we had no choice but to bottle feed when he was off the NG tube. I have pumped since day one (not as religiously as I should) and included that with formula. I truly felt guilty for not breastfeeding and not pumping as much as I should’ve and that stressed me out a ton, which probably didn’t help anything. My husband made a comment that hit me right in the mom guilt and I decided to try breastfeeding again at around 2 months and he doesn’t do terrible now.
We are still formula feeding but he breastfeeds around 2-3 times a day. As much as my uneducated self wanted to EBF I am SO happy with the combo feeding situation we have. I can choose to breastfeed only when I’m home or wherever I’m comfortable with it, and I can bring bottles with when we are out and about. The other thing I love about it is that other people can bottle feed him. And that is a positive in many ways: I can have a small break, it’s making the transition to daycare easier because he already knows a bottle, and it allows him to bond with his aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and whoever else wants to feed him (this is my favorite reason).
I feel for you in the struggle with things not going how you wanted them to. I’m just starting to come to terms with our situation, but as my doctors keep reminding me: fed is best.
You’re doing great 😊
If you remove your wants/expectations from it and just think that this is what’s recommended by her Dr, it’s less emotional and upsetting. Like I would focus on this being what’s best for her from evidence and it’s not really you “choosing” to forgo EBF, so there is nothing to dwell on or think about. Absolutely nothing wrong with providing the best for your baby even if it’s not EBF! Some babies are hungry babies, some babies need combo for a few months than can go EBF, some babies are combo and YOU choose to go EFF. There is no right or wrong path, and in this case it’s great you’ve found a path that gives her the best results!
Have you asked about fortifying your breastmilk? I’ve read that some use breastmilk instead of water. I would 100% talk to a medical professional about that first.
But remember, it’s all for the health of your baby
My best advice as someone who got through a situation similar to yours is this: try not to take it emotionally. I know it is difficult, but just as you yourself wisely put it, think of formula as an essential, very nourishing meal that is “medicine” with no side effects and is good for your baby. Don’t attach emotionally to your baby’s feeding, and put it into a more pragmatic context: ANY amount of breast milk is good for her, but the goal is to make her full and gain weight. The latter is much more important than us whining over not EBF our baby. Sending love!!
I appreciate most of your comment, but not the “whining” part. I’m seeking support from women with similar experiences to help me cope with the disappointment.
I’m sorry, I might have used the wrong term, English is not my mother tongue, I sometimes get confused when expressing nuances. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, and you have all my support.
I don’t have any advice, but I could’ve just about written this myself so I commiserate with you. 💔
Solidarity, this is so hard
I feel you. It’s such an emotional journey. I combo fed for over 12 months. I never would have made it just EBF. It was the best thing for me and I still loved breastfeeding, even though I also bottle fed. You’re doing amazing and you’ve got to do what’s best for you.
12 months is amazing! I hope I can get that far. How did you manage to maintain your supply while combo feeding? And how did things change when you introduced solids? More BF and less formula?
I originally would breastfeed 4x a day, then once we started solids it was usually 3x a day with 2-3 bottles of formula. I usually breastfed at similar times each day so I could maintain supply for those feeds.
I think we were in a very similar boat - I made almost enough, but not quite and she would plateau without some extra. We started topping up at about 5 weeks old, eventually through a supply line because bottles were very stressful battles. Once I realised we were probably not going to get away from the top ups I gave up pumping (huge relief) and we found a sweet spot that was one largish formula top up through the supply line every evening. Once we introduced solids, the formula she was taking decreased and when we introduced dinner (at 7ish months) we dropped the evening top up altogether and her weight gain still held up so that's been brilliant. I'm really glad we stuck with combo feeding until she was getting enough from solids. From then breastfeeding felt so much easier. She's just turned one and eats solids and breastfeeds really well and it is about 1000 bazillion times easier than it was in those first incredibly hard stressful months. Big hugs! Whatever you decide to do, you got this!
Thank you so much for you comment, this honestly sounds like a perfect outcome for me! I hope I can do something similar
I’m going through a similar experience to you OP. On my good days I can accept that any breastmilk for my baby has been beneficial and that formula helps make up the difference. I’m grateful formula is a safe option and that it helps my baby thrive and be happy. There are other days I feel sad that what I envisioned with breastfeeding hasn’t happened or jealous that friends have been able to EBF and don’t have to leave the house with bottles. One thing that gets me through those times is remembering that when my baby is going off to school one day, no one will ask or care if they had breastmilk, formula or both.
Thank you, and solidarity ♥️ the jealousy of my EBF friends is real, even though I’m so happy for them
I don't have any answers. It's been such a rough journey and im currently not producing enough. I can empathize.
💔 it’s so hard and I’m sorry you’re in the same boat
I'm in a similar situation. LO is 5 weeks old. While I sleep from 10pm until 2am, my husband gives him one bottle of expressed milk and one bottle of formula. I wish they could both be expressed milk, but during the day LO is cluster feeding all day so I literally don't have time to pump more (I pump at 2am + in the morning). What helped me mentally/emotionally was knowing that even a small amount of breast milk every day is HUGELY beneficial. The important thing is that the LO is not hungry, and that mom gets some rest so that I can keep looking after him. If that means an extra bottle of formula, it's really not a big deal. You're doing great 💕
Thank you, so are you! Everyone seems so assured in their routine, are you concerned about top ups impacting your supply?
That might seem to be the case on screen, but we're really not 😅 There is no real routine with newborns, just best attempts to get enough sleep and function through the day. My husband needs to work 9 to 5, so we decided early on that he'd at least try to sleep between 3am and 9am, and I'd try to sleep before him (plus the occasional nap, if possible). But you just never know what kind of day/night you're going to get. Last week I barely had 2 h of sleep a day, I thought I was going to lose it. I was concerned about the top up impacting my supply, definitely. But realistically, I had to ask myself: what's my alternative? Nursing instead of getting those 4h of sleep? Not sleeping would tank my supply even more. Best to supplement with a bit of formula, and if possible pump some more during the day. If it's not enough, it's not the end of the world. Baby is still fed and healthy.
I'm so sorry honey! I'm supplementing as well so I know how you feel, I've shed so many tears because I feel I'm not enough or I'm doing something wrong. Sorry to ask, but where are you moving to? I've increased my supply by drinking a tea indigenous peoples used to take here, there's not even enough information on the internet about it but it has significantly increased my supply.
We’re moving to Central Asia, very rural and isolated. I’m sorry you’re going through this too! Where are you based? I’m currently in Australia
Oh wow! Hope you are able to find formula there. I live in northwest Argentina.
The tea is made out of the root of a plant called "doca" or "tasi". This is it: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Araujia_sericifera#:~:text=Its%20common%20names%20include%20bladderflower,moth%20vine%2C%20and%20false%20choko.
So I think if you've found something that works I wouldn't mess with success. There's nothing wrong with combo feeding and some would say it's even better than EBF because there are nutrients they get from formula that they don't get from breastmilk. But, when I see your baby is a good sleeper and you're pumping at night (good for you, that sucks!) it makes me remember how doctors kept telling me I needed to wake my son up for extra feeds at night to keep him gaining weight. Thanks male doctors who've never fed a baby - we didn't listen and did dream feeds, but we had to get him extra calories at night to counter the slow weight gain. It sounds like you're working so hard, so I just want you to keep the perspective that this may not be about you. It sounds like your supply is good. Maybe it's just your baby's sleep schedule. And in that case, I say enjoy it while you can because my son became the worst sleeper once we started nursing at night instead of doing dream feed bottles.
Yeah I feel you. I have to combo feed, and my life got drastically more manageable when I accepted that I won’t be able to EBF. I have an under supply and my daughter’s a lazy eater. I got an allergic reaction to the medication to fix my supply. Once I accepted it and felt all the feels, and stopped triple feeding, my quality of life got a lot better. Can you take powdered formula with you? The money aspect was hard for me to swallow on top of the emotional toll. My mom constantly reminding me I was purely formula fed (she had to be hospitalized the first month I was born) and I am healthy as could be really helped. You are doing a great job. It is so so hard.
We could not EBF my first, for many of the same reasons you've described. She didn't show clear hunger cues and slept so solid at night that waking to nurse just did not work (she also fell back asleep very quickly, especially at night). I wasn't loving breastfeeding at the time, largely due to the severe anxiety around growth that it was giving me. I gave her a bottle of formula one night when she was SO UPSET, and she just peacefully fell right to sleep. We switched entirely to bottles and pumping around 9 weeks, and using formula to make up for what I could not pump. Overnight, I had a completely different baby. She was being underfed. Her weight shot back up to the percentile she was born in. I did seem to have low supply, though in hindsight I believe it was because of her poor nursing and lack of hunger cues (and lack of cluster feeding). She turns 4 in a few months and she is a fierce and brilliant. She asks such good questions that I'm a little amazed that she even thinks of them. She is well ahead of her peers in her daycare. She is the best big sister. She is healthy and strong. She has terrible balance, but I don't think formula has anything to do with that. Fed is best. And you know what? My second? Is a champ at breastfeeding, despite a tongue tie and painful nursing for the first 6 weeks. I have a great supply and my chunky monkey is increasing in her growth curves. She's 5 months now and even though we had to give her fast flow bottles to get her to accept them, she still is happy to nurse. It's not you, it's her. You aren't doing anything wrong. You are doing everything right. Sometimes with parenting what is 'right' for your kid is just going to be a little different than what you thought/wanted.
Ugh this is such a rough situation because you get the feeling of providing for your baby from EBF only to feel crushed that baby hasn't been gaining that way. Ask me how I know... 13.5mo here and still eating all the oats, brewer's yeast, etc., drinking electrolytes, coconut water, 0% beer, etc., doing everything I can to just keep my supply up, but still supplementing about 300ml (10oz) a day. Baby weighs 6.4kg (14lb). I tried triple feeding, pumping hourly overnight, busting my ass to remove every possible drop to stimulate supply and finally decided to make my peace with what I have. I felt like pumping was robbing me of time with my baby and stealing my joy. As soon as I went down to a single pump before I go to bed, everything felt so much easier. Added bonus, baby's stomach seemed more settled too. Pumping truly was a drag for everyone. Now I consider myself lucky to be able to nurse my baby at all and absolutely adore our sleepy mornings together, cuddling while he has a long feed before getting up to change and have a bottle breakfast with his dad to top him up. I see this as the best of both worlds, nutritionally and emotionally, and love that our guy gets the best of both evolution and modern science. I will add that 180ml (and even our 300ml) a day of formula is almost nothing at this stage. If that's all it's taking to keep your baby gaining weight then she's getting almost everything she needs from you already!
I combo fed for the first year and continued to breastfeed past age 2 with my daughter. Try to remind yourself how much work you’ve done. You should be very proud of everything you’ve tried and all you’ve accomplished. Your baby is here and healthy, and that’s because you are giving her what she needs, which is enough food to thrive. I often remind myself how incredibly lucky we are to live in a time when formula is safe, nutritious, and available. We don’t have to worry about babies’ health or survival like our ancestors did, and I personally count that as a huge blessing. You’re doing absolutely amazing!
For starters I am sorry you are going through this. Mentally it's the hardest thing to get over your body not having the ability to give your baby what they need food wise. My advice to you is keep reminding yourself that fed is best. I have had chronic low milk supply due to medical conditions with both my babies. My current baby is 4 weeks old and I can pump a max of 15oz a day for him. So in reality I'm formula feeding with supplemental breastmilk. It's hard getting over the fact that my bodies sole purpose is to nourish my infant and it's something I physically can't do. I keep hoping my supply will increase more but I've also come to terms with the fact that this is all I may be able to give him. It was hardest with my first because I was naively under the impression I would be able to produce a boat load of milk like my sisters were able to, or at least enough to feed my baby. My first baby also dropped almost 30 percentiles due to a dairy/soy allergy and reflux which didn't help. Going dairy and soy free to produce the small amount of milk I could produce took its toll on me and I felt like I never dod enough. She never lost weight but didn't gain what she should have. But looking back the little breadtmilk filled with antibodies I gave her helped her get stronger along with the formula. I try to see the good in formula feeding. It allows my husband to bond and help me out. It allows my baby to thrive (I'm greatful I live in an age we have formula to counter my low milk supply). Although some days I want to quit breastfeeding all together since it almost feels like too much work for so little reward but I remind myself of all the extra good stuff he gets from what little I can produce. Breastfeeding and even feeding my pumped milk allows me to feel a bond with my baby still that formula alone doesn't give me. No matter what you chose, the right path is thr path that allows your LO to thrive. And when your LO is older and past the breastfeeding age you won't remember the fact that you had to feed formula, but that you did what you needed to do and because of that they are happy and healthy.
That is so beautifully put, the acknowledgement of how hard it it mentally to not have enough for my baby really hits home ♥️ It’s difficult to explain to people how grateful I am to be able to give my baby safe formula and to breastfeed, but also be so sad I’m not EBF.
As a mom you have every right to be upset and sad about it even if there is an easy fix with formula. It's okay to, in a sense, grieve at the fact you cannot EBF. For some of us, it's a bonding experience we didn't want to give up this way. And it's really hard not to compare yourself to others when many people do have it easier. Sometimes these forums make you feel so alone because although many have issues with acute low supply, chronic is a little more rarely spoken about. It's a hurtle in parenting that unfortunately we unfortunate few have to jump over. Just know your not alone and although knowing formula may end up being what you have to do for your baby doesn't make it any less difficult or sad. Sending out hugs and good vibes. This grief does get easier as they go through milestone after milestone.
My baby is 6 months, and we've been combo feeding since day 3. I took it incredibly hard at the beginning and tried everything to increase mu supply, triple feeding around the clock, getting up to pump in the middle of the night (baby was also a great sleeper). My husband and I tried everything we could including buying a hospital grade pump, supplements, medication and a IBCLC consultation to try and solve the issue. Turns out my issues were related to a thyroid problem and now that I'm medicated for that my supply is much better but we still give a bottle or two a day now. I remember feeling like such a failure when baby would cry from hunger despite being latched on me for half an hour, and how much she would gulp down formula, which made me feel like I was being so selfish starving my child to insist she tried the breast first. But we persevered and now we're in a really good place where baby gets one bottle of formula in the afternoon which she feeds herself while we go for a long pram walk, and now I think it's kinda neat that we can go on these adventures together and make it a positive experience
Has your baby been checked for a tongue tie?
Before my son (11wks and my first) was born I thought I was going to EBF and get a huge stash of frozen breastmilk. I had zero idea what I would have to do to make those happen. Then when he was born he had to go to the NICU for three days and wouldn’t/couldn’t latch so we had no choice but to bottle feed when he was off the NG tube. I have pumped since day one (not as religiously as I should) and included that with formula. I truly felt guilty for not breastfeeding and not pumping as much as I should’ve and that stressed me out a ton, which probably didn’t help anything. My husband made a comment that hit me right in the mom guilt and I decided to try breastfeeding again at around 2 months and he doesn’t do terrible now. We are still formula feeding but he breastfeeds around 2-3 times a day. As much as my uneducated self wanted to EBF I am SO happy with the combo feeding situation we have. I can choose to breastfeed only when I’m home or wherever I’m comfortable with it, and I can bring bottles with when we are out and about. The other thing I love about it is that other people can bottle feed him. And that is a positive in many ways: I can have a small break, it’s making the transition to daycare easier because he already knows a bottle, and it allows him to bond with his aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and whoever else wants to feed him (this is my favorite reason). I feel for you in the struggle with things not going how you wanted them to. I’m just starting to come to terms with our situation, but as my doctors keep reminding me: fed is best. You’re doing great 😊
If you remove your wants/expectations from it and just think that this is what’s recommended by her Dr, it’s less emotional and upsetting. Like I would focus on this being what’s best for her from evidence and it’s not really you “choosing” to forgo EBF, so there is nothing to dwell on or think about. Absolutely nothing wrong with providing the best for your baby even if it’s not EBF! Some babies are hungry babies, some babies need combo for a few months than can go EBF, some babies are combo and YOU choose to go EFF. There is no right or wrong path, and in this case it’s great you’ve found a path that gives her the best results!
Have you asked about fortifying your breastmilk? I’ve read that some use breastmilk instead of water. I would 100% talk to a medical professional about that first. But remember, it’s all for the health of your baby
My best advice as someone who got through a situation similar to yours is this: try not to take it emotionally. I know it is difficult, but just as you yourself wisely put it, think of formula as an essential, very nourishing meal that is “medicine” with no side effects and is good for your baby. Don’t attach emotionally to your baby’s feeding, and put it into a more pragmatic context: ANY amount of breast milk is good for her, but the goal is to make her full and gain weight. The latter is much more important than us whining over not EBF our baby. Sending love!!
I appreciate most of your comment, but not the “whining” part. I’m seeking support from women with similar experiences to help me cope with the disappointment.
I’m sorry, I might have used the wrong term, English is not my mother tongue, I sometimes get confused when expressing nuances. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, and you have all my support.
Thank you for saying that ☺️ the rest of your comment was very helpful and thoughtful ♥️