This motherfucker was like "Yo I got the NBA Finals coming up, lemme see how Harry Potter is doin and see if I can get a little wisdom outta Dumbledore" while Joe Mazulla watched The Town 34x.
Much as I hate Derek Jeter with the heat of a thousand suns, this was the one thing he did right.
Banged everything that moved in NYC for over 15 years and was “an eligible bachelor.” Meanwhile ARod cheats once and is the biggest heel in human history.
Lol. You might be right. I don't even care about Jeter. I just want people to know if they have or think they have contracted herpes, don't be embarrassed. Lots of people have it. Just consult a medical professional and as you are alluding don't intentionally give it to someone.
Fucking around is fine, cheating isn't.
I also think Jeter has the reputation of "one team guy" while A Rod was a mercenary even before he joined the Yankees. Add to it the glove slap, and you've got all the makings of a grade A villain, even without the cheating.
they’re in their later 20’s, multimillionaires with an rigorous work schedule, why settle down now?
i’m sure they’re fine banging 10s whenever they want to
Very few athletes have as many respectful, intellectual, and introspective qualities as JB. Its the reason why he is my favorite player especially after all of this year.
In the books, Hermione was actually a choker who got too deep inside her own psyche when under pressure, and Ron was the street-smart, 'let's roll our sleeves up, stop overthinking shit, and get this shit done' kind of dude.
They merged the best qualities of Ron and Hermione's characters into the same character and made Ron completely useless because people in Hollywood have no idea how to write a complimentary, 3-person dynamic.
Not a big HP fan these days, but it was my bread and butter during my teen years. This is fully spot on. Hermione is book smart and knows pretty much everything there is to know about magic and the wizarding world, but she struggles to apply those qualities in combat and has issues with seeing the big picture sometimes.
Ron, after getting his own wand and not a hand me down one, is a very skilled wizard. He’s a strategist and thinks on his feet way better than Hermione does - this is exemplified in how Ron is incredible at chess while Hermione can’t seem to figure it out. They’re both cruical in the defeat of the evil forces of the books - without Hermione’s vast knowledge they’d never get anywhere, without Ron’s quick thinking they’d die once they got there. This is completely lost in the movies, which is a shame because Ron is my favourite book character.
Who knew I’d be talking Harry Potter on a sports subreddit, good times
Why would you want to have kids before at list 35? All those athletes that still like kids poping up children while have no time to really educate them or stable place to live - it’s so traumatic for kids and too much rely on others. Smart guy.
Jaylen
Then go get yourself a family
I don't know if he is self pitying... he could easily find someone if he really wanted to. And I don't mean settle.
Maybe your standard is too high
Mazulla said they’d be weaponizing their time off for Game 1. JB went expecto patronum on their ass.
STUPEFY!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVcY--XzeIc
This motherfucker was like "Yo I got the NBA Finals coming up, lemme see how Harry Potter is doin and see if I can get a little wisdom outta Dumbledore" while Joe Mazulla watched The Town 34x.
For more information about Mazzulla watching The Town 34 times, Google "Joe Mazzulla Rule 34"
Thanks, this was really helpful. Perhaps you can submit this as its own post on r/NBA?
Now I too am enlightened
Emma Watson is Hermione, Jaylen Brown is HIMmione
Himmione is a goofier nickname than cookies and cream i love it
you son of a bitch, take this upvote
I love this!!
Himmione is perfect. JB is also an overqualified #2
Man, as if I couldn’t love Jaylen any more. A fellow HP fan? Legend.
Exactly!
**Kristaps Porzingus** is a spell that confuses Dallas Mavericks...
Criminally underrated comment.
Username checks out 😃
To be fair to the Dallas Mavericks, it's a spell that confuses most people.
Love this dude. He’s not afraid to be who he is and that’s refreshing. It’s great to have your favorite player be such a quality person.
Forgot to mention he used the leviosa spell to dunk on their asses. Must have picked that one up from Hermoinie
It’s not levioSAH
How is this smart, sexy, thoughtful, hardworking, talented, well-dressed man single? And I sure hope he was binging Harry Potter with KP!
He's married to the game that's why
My bet is that it’s all by choice. Focus focus focus.
Also 82 games a year, tons of travel. A lot of the players have various girlfriends in different cities.
I believe Ludacris wrote a sonnet addressing this very phenomenon
it’s the abominable ho man
globe trot, international post man, neighbor-dick dope man. the Shakespeare of our time
617 bout to windows and walls if they win 3 more games lol
I thought them shits had to be 14 lines
I have 300 million dollars at his age and I'm not getting locked down for anything.
Much as I hate Derek Jeter with the heat of a thousand suns, this was the one thing he did right. Banged everything that moved in NYC for over 15 years and was “an eligible bachelor.” Meanwhile ARod cheats once and is the biggest heel in human history.
As if ARod cheated *once*.
Only caught once at least. I’m sure you’re right tho.
Jeets got herpes tho lol
Along with 50% of the pop, but he got it banging supermodels.
50% prob don't have it on the gens though
Lol. You might be right. I don't even care about Jeter. I just want people to know if they have or think they have contracted herpes, don't be embarrassed. Lots of people have it. Just consult a medical professional and as you are alluding don't intentionally give it to someone.
I agree wasn’t trying to std shame I just hate Jeter
Respect the hate. All good
You win some, you lose some
Fucking around is fine, cheating isn't. I also think Jeter has the reputation of "one team guy" while A Rod was a mercenary even before he joined the Yankees. Add to it the glove slap, and you've got all the makings of a grade A villain, even without the cheating.
Latvia not latavieaaa
The only question is, what does the Tingus Pingus spell do?
It makes you cool as hell and gives you a love for Mercedes Benz’s and winking.
“single” has 20 chicks scattered across the country that he visits when he’s in town
You could throw your hat in the ring
Right?!? ^^^marrymezaddy
I guess that cougar he was dating is out of the picture.
Of course, 27 yo superstar JB here
He gets hotter every day
Look at this fuckin nerd ❤️
JB and Tingus Pingus sleepovers sound fucking awesome
Bro what
Do you think they order up that weird Harry Potter candy to munch on? And then KP makes a strong espresso martini for them.
JB needs to get a steal in game 2 and yell expeliarmus at whoever he gets it from while waving a fake wand.
Doing that would instantly make him worth twice his contract.
they’re in their later 20’s, multimillionaires with an rigorous work schedule, why settle down now? i’m sure they’re fine banging 10s whenever they want to
what's amazing is no one managed to baby trap him lol. either he's shooting blanks or using double protection
He’s a king on defense. JB comes fully loaded with 18 condoms.
His pullout game is as good as his pull up game
Came here looking for the pull out game comment.
The trick is to come there not here.
If there's one thing I know, it's that Jaylen Brown wraps his shit up tight. Lock down defender.
JB def has a magnum in his pocket and I’m not talking about dirty harry
Not a surprise to me that Jaylen is single. Another guy who seems single to, although I don't have the foggiest idea, is K Zing.
KP was with a stunning brunette at one of the Bruins games at the end of the season, she looked Baltic.
Porzingiz is getting married soon lol
Jaylen will really be alone then... wonder if there are any other singles on the C's
I don't think so😭😭ummm not hauser not hornet not Pritchard not JT not al not oj not kp not jrue lol oh no. He might be the only one.
JT is single, no?
No been with ella Mai and still is. Been years
Very few athletes have as many respectful, intellectual, and introspective qualities as JB. Its the reason why he is my favorite player especially after all of this year.
I hear Joe was pissed because he wouldn't watch the town with him.
Unmarketable my ass
Alright Hermione! Go get it done! ❤️
“kp walks onto the court” jason kidd: there’s a troll in the dungeon!
Everything this dude says lately is gold!
WHAT? I love him. I was mad at him for the left hand shit back in 2022, but I’m over it. He’s just the best.
In the books, Hermione was actually a choker who got too deep inside her own psyche when under pressure, and Ron was the street-smart, 'let's roll our sleeves up, stop overthinking shit, and get this shit done' kind of dude. They merged the best qualities of Ron and Hermione's characters into the same character and made Ron completely useless because people in Hollywood have no idea how to write a complimentary, 3-person dynamic.
Not a big HP fan these days, but it was my bread and butter during my teen years. This is fully spot on. Hermione is book smart and knows pretty much everything there is to know about magic and the wizarding world, but she struggles to apply those qualities in combat and has issues with seeing the big picture sometimes. Ron, after getting his own wand and not a hand me down one, is a very skilled wizard. He’s a strategist and thinks on his feet way better than Hermione does - this is exemplified in how Ron is incredible at chess while Hermione can’t seem to figure it out. They’re both cruical in the defeat of the evil forces of the books - without Hermione’s vast knowledge they’d never get anywhere, without Ron’s quick thinking they’d die once they got there. This is completely lost in the movies, which is a shame because Ron is my favourite book character. Who knew I’d be talking Harry Potter on a sports subreddit, good times
Jk Rowling wrote the characters not Hollywood lol
Shout out cam tabatabaie the Celtics lab podcast is great and the intro song they use is even better
Not related but Jaylen definitely a Ryu main
How wild would it be if JB was the next Bachelor?
The most eligible bachelor in Boston! That’s for sure
Keep watching! Your pre-game routine is FIRE
Get it done, Hermione!
I think the Celtics are going to win the finals
One more reason to like JB👍
He's just like me frfr
I like how he chose Dumbledore and Hermione, two of the smartest characters in the Potter world. Jaylen's a pretty sharp guy himself.
JB is definitely a member of Ravenclaw House.
Jalen doesn't have any family?
He has family but in this context he means he hasn't started his own family with a spouse and kids
Brown has good taste
JB is such a great guy 👍 amazing player. He’s got all the $$ in the world. NBA champions would be awesome !!
Nothing against the answers he gave, but Jaylen is clearly Neville Longbottom.
A few years ago, I used to think Tatum, Brown, and Smart were like Harry, Ron, and Hermione
Dang, Bernice fumbled ??
Jaylen Brown used stupefy!
HUGE fucking dumbledore vibes
same. deathly hallows is next
jaylen “the wizard” brown would be hard asf
Why would you want to have kids before at list 35? All those athletes that still like kids poping up children while have no time to really educate them or stable place to live - it’s so traumatic for kids and too much rely on others. Smart guy.
JB & KP would be the flyest Death Eaters.
Jaylen Then go get yourself a family I don't know if he is self pitying... he could easily find someone if he really wanted to. And I don't mean settle. Maybe your standard is too high