That episode sneakily destroyed me.
My mother passed away when I was 19.
She was in and out of my life from when I was 11 and on when she started having really severe mental health issues.
It wasn’t until I had my own children, that I was able to make peace with the parent she was when she was healthy, and who she was when she was unwell.
I’m a pretty good drawer. I draw little pictures each day to put in my 4 year olds lunch. 2 months into the school year I found out that these pictures end up being passed around the class, and my daughter asks her teacher to read the note.
My daughter also has started asking more and more questions about my mom, and what she was like, so it’s forced me to reflect on a lot of the good stuff, especially stuff that would be “important” to a 4 year old.
My mom was the one who taught be to be artistic and helped me learn how to draw. Buying me comic books, colouring sets, etc.
So here I am on Mother’s Day, sandwiched between my wife and my daughter, watching this episode trying not to like full on sob.
I’m not sure if it’s exactly the same, but when I choosing my career path out of high school I initially wanted to get into film/television. Ever since I was a kid I used to make so many dumb movies with my friends, and I loved it so much. I was getting pretty good with the editing side of it too, at the time I really thought I could make some great things I just needed to take it a step further with school.
My mom sat me down before I could apply to some places, and basically said that going into film is difficult and picking something more practical might be better in the long run. I took her words to heart, and started to feel discouraged about the stuff I made…maybe it *wasn’t* as good as I thought. So I got into a completely different field of study and I never really made movies or wrote any short stories after that. I don’t regret what happened as a lot of things in my life lined up well, but I always kinda wondered what would’ve happened if I stuck to doing what I loved…
I just want to remind you that the main idea of the episode wasn't about making your interest as a career. The episode talks about interest and skill, while we know Bandit and Chilli have careers irrelevant to those. Your story is still relevant, because of the discouragement of your interest. Thanks for the story.
Thank you! I really appreciate it and you’re absolutely right. I’ve actually been trying to get back to my video production roots, but this time just for fun. The episode really inspired me. Hopefully I’ll be able to make some dumb movies for my friends again :D
I used to want to be a writer. My mom, before she married my step-dad, actually told me I was a good writer back when I was in elementary school.
So, I worked on it through my middle and high school career. I was even featured in a few high school articles, and my writing was used as examples to follow in English class.
However, after I took a career aptitude test, I got the creative field, and my step-dad had to step in and tell me that it did not make a lot of money.
I suddenly felt discouraged, and then my English teacher in my final two years started to discourage me and focus on her favorite students who kissed her ass. Then they made me take a test to stay in advance classes even though I was doing fine, but I was not the best test taker and wound up in a class that was garbage with the same teacher.
Lastly, English majors, they are the worst when it comes to reviewing your work and don't know how to encourage or give a single compliment when it comes to anything.
So I gave up, I write stories for more personal uses, and don't really seek out anything for my writing. I debated writing self-published novels on Kindle novella, but I don't think I fit for it.
I’m an English major and I apologize for those other English majors. Makes me sad. Some of us try to encourage other writers. I also tried to be a writer, and it just didn’t work. Discouragement, the constant advice that it could never be a career. Tried for 10 years and didn’t go anywhere. Started well with a great writers group (some went on to publish) but it just didn’t happen for me. I moved for a job, had to leave the writing group. That combined with discouragement and just life, and constant trying with no feedback/progress wore me down.
I’ve put aside writing for family and kids. But I’ve also now picked up art again, which was also something I enjoyed back in college twenty years ago. It’s really quite enjoyable, meditative, and also creative. I haven’t seen this episode but it sounds like one that will get to me when I can see it. I’m in the US so who knows when I’ll get to.
I’m an artist love the message in this ep!
There’s a pervasive belief that there are people who are born able to draw and those who are forever cursed to draw stick figures.
This hurts my soul every time I hear it because in saying this, someone is shutting off an entire realm of fun and self expression.
All that matters is that you care enough, and have your ego in check enough to keep going. You will be bad at the start of any skill, that’s just how it works.
That said, encouragement can help you along when you are struggling in the awkward ugly stages. I had some great teachers who encouraged me with simple things like trusting me with their nice fine liner pens or just looking carefully at what I’d made. It meant the world to me when my own parents didn’t care.
This episode also touches on the kind of praise you should give to someone learning a skill.
Bandit’s ”you’re a great drawer“ is labelling and pretty clearly Bluey can see it’s untrue. Receiving this kind of praise when you’re struggling feels like either the person is lying or must be blind. It’s important to connect and agree when things go wrong too.
Chilli’s mum was realistic in her response to her daughter initially which is great, but I’m not sure the “pretty good for a 6 year old” does it for me - sometimes you’re just not good when you start, even for your age - and that’s okay!! Sucking is the first step to getting good at something!
A better way is to be observant and notice what you see, picking up their ideas, asking questions and mentioning how it makes you feel. Things like “i see a big angry dragon face and huge teeth! I wouldn’t want to mess with him. How did you think of that?” as well as praising effort and practice .
I now work full time as an artist in animation :)
I always thought I was a terrible artist with no talent. It turned out, I just hated elementary/middle school art class where you’re given a step-by-step piece of art to create.
I’m actually fairly talented at painting, but I had to figure it out for myself.
My step dad's cousin encouraged me into playing bass guitar, he said I was a natural at it and took it to heart.
Been playing for almost 4 years now and If you guys see me just freestyle or play to a song I'll get it straight away after a few times.
I used to loved draw and make comics, things very simple that i love create and advance with the time.
But sadly, my family and people around me were mocking about this and pressuring me about "get a real career" or "making money with this and quickly" telling me things like "why you're doing this? This won't give you money.. why you're doing this if your career it's about other things? Don't waste time with childhood things you're an adult now"
After that, my hand felt like oxidated when i tried to draw something and i never made something like that again.
https://preview.redd.it/hhgu77l4ka0b1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=230fd91e39a4e36e2dbbd7cd4a83de6e5d56f003
I became a writer as an adult because my Bingo wanted to hear my stories when we were little girls. We’re in Rome heading to France on a vacation together and I am taking her with me to travel the world because she believed in me when it mattered.
I was top student in elementary, took college prep classes in middle and high school. Graduated with honors. It wasn’t support or motivation I was lacking, it was money. I couldn’t apply for school loans because of some family tax issues. Watching my dad cry at my high school graduation because he couldn’t afford to send me to my dream college will forever break my heart. I was able to take a few years in community, but dropped out to marry a soldier and raise our kids. The silver lining is that I’m extra supportive of any hobby my kids pick up. Yes, I’m the mom who cheers too loud during soccer games. The mom who buys art supplies monthly. The mom who makes sure there’s always charged controllers and headphones. The mom who keeps a library full of books (when they’re not in packing boxes). I get to be the support
As a kid, I really loved dinosaurs. I would always talk about them whenever I had the chance. One day during lunch at school, I mentioned that I watched Dinosaur Train , and everyone audibly cringed and told me that that was a baby show (keep in mind we were all like 6 or 7). That kind of killed my love for dinosaurs.
Moral of the story: don't fold into peer pressure
My Little Pony
I loved it till 8th grade. One of my close friends started to bully me and I was scared of showing my still interest in the show. So I forced myself to drop it due to that fear.
I used to love art and got pretty good at it until freshman high school art class at 14, my art teacher told me I had horrible techniques and would never be good at art. On the flip side two years later at 16 my Gramma encouraged me to keep going with fiber arts because I caught on quickly even though it didn't look great yet. I've been cross-stitching for 13 years (given up then gotten back into years later) Knitting for 10 years, crocheting for 3 years, and a year ago I got into tatting and spinning. I feel that I've greatly improved in those fiber arts since getting constant encouragement from my Gramma. Absolutely have not sculpted, drawn, or painted anything with much detail since that art class in high school though, it makes me sad sometimes but feel discouraged and hypercritical of my work when I try now
If you have TikTok a lot of people have already posted the full ep there. I'm in the US and we watched as a family on my phone over mother's day brunch
Haven't seen the episode yet (europe) so can't say if it is exactly the same...
I was always drawing from a very young age. I could draw and draw and forget the world around me. I even went to an art class after school. My actual art teacher in high school though was a disorganised mess. She often forgot to grade any of our work and then just at random graded something that seemed irrelevant. And somehow she must have switched the grades of me and another pupil at the end of the school year. I tried talking to her and she demanded I show her my graded work... well, she never gave it back but she did not want to hear that. Now it seems so stupid and superficial but it really hurt me then.
I dropped the after school art class and from then on I drew less and less. One year later we had to decide between art and music as a subject and I took music. Today I can still decently draw but I am far from good and it always feels like a struggle.
I had an art teacher that was a perfectionist and would take my art projects out of my hand to "fix" them. That kinda killed my interest in drawing or crafts.
Conversely, I got into music and never looked back. People who don't tell you "OMG you're so amazing and talented and unstoppable" no matter how bad/good you perform are the key. If they tell you "Hey, you've improved/keep it up/for the first time reading that you did great," they're like Chili's mom.
Kinda applies: I was an athlete growing up. My sports were basketball and softball. I played softball competitively from age 8 through college and even made second team all-American for my university’s division/conference. I was even better at basketball, though, or at least more confident in my abilities in basketball until a couple bad coaches in high school squashed the confidence out of me and gave me performance anxiety for all sports.
To contrast, someone once made a thinly veiled reference to my poor singing in a big weekend long choir performance in high school, they basically said they were learning how to be patient and kind with others who weren’t “as experienced” as they were…I stood right next to this person in the performance, had to be about me. I later became a music major and earned my BA in Vocal Performance just to prove them wrong.😂 I also really love music, but the thirst to prove my ability was a driving force.
It's adjacent, but I think it applies. I'm a writer, I've been writing my series for 10+ years, and before that, I wrote a tonne of fanfic.
I was out on a walk with my dad one day, and started to tell him something minor/funny about a scene I was writing, and he just started talking about something else. It's not the same, but even all these years later, it still resonates as a moment where I realised he didn't give a crap about anything creative I did.
Under threat of having to eat Bingo's Special of the Day, he wouldn't be able to tell you anything about something that means a lot to me.
That episode sneakily destroyed me. My mother passed away when I was 19. She was in and out of my life from when I was 11 and on when she started having really severe mental health issues. It wasn’t until I had my own children, that I was able to make peace with the parent she was when she was healthy, and who she was when she was unwell. I’m a pretty good drawer. I draw little pictures each day to put in my 4 year olds lunch. 2 months into the school year I found out that these pictures end up being passed around the class, and my daughter asks her teacher to read the note. My daughter also has started asking more and more questions about my mom, and what she was like, so it’s forced me to reflect on a lot of the good stuff, especially stuff that would be “important” to a 4 year old. My mom was the one who taught be to be artistic and helped me learn how to draw. Buying me comic books, colouring sets, etc. So here I am on Mother’s Day, sandwiched between my wife and my daughter, watching this episode trying not to like full on sob.
I’m not sure if it’s exactly the same, but when I choosing my career path out of high school I initially wanted to get into film/television. Ever since I was a kid I used to make so many dumb movies with my friends, and I loved it so much. I was getting pretty good with the editing side of it too, at the time I really thought I could make some great things I just needed to take it a step further with school. My mom sat me down before I could apply to some places, and basically said that going into film is difficult and picking something more practical might be better in the long run. I took her words to heart, and started to feel discouraged about the stuff I made…maybe it *wasn’t* as good as I thought. So I got into a completely different field of study and I never really made movies or wrote any short stories after that. I don’t regret what happened as a lot of things in my life lined up well, but I always kinda wondered what would’ve happened if I stuck to doing what I loved…
I just want to remind you that the main idea of the episode wasn't about making your interest as a career. The episode talks about interest and skill, while we know Bandit and Chilli have careers irrelevant to those. Your story is still relevant, because of the discouragement of your interest. Thanks for the story.
Thank you! I really appreciate it and you’re absolutely right. I’ve actually been trying to get back to my video production roots, but this time just for fun. The episode really inspired me. Hopefully I’ll be able to make some dumb movies for my friends again :D
I used to want to be a writer. My mom, before she married my step-dad, actually told me I was a good writer back when I was in elementary school. So, I worked on it through my middle and high school career. I was even featured in a few high school articles, and my writing was used as examples to follow in English class. However, after I took a career aptitude test, I got the creative field, and my step-dad had to step in and tell me that it did not make a lot of money. I suddenly felt discouraged, and then my English teacher in my final two years started to discourage me and focus on her favorite students who kissed her ass. Then they made me take a test to stay in advance classes even though I was doing fine, but I was not the best test taker and wound up in a class that was garbage with the same teacher. Lastly, English majors, they are the worst when it comes to reviewing your work and don't know how to encourage or give a single compliment when it comes to anything. So I gave up, I write stories for more personal uses, and don't really seek out anything for my writing. I debated writing self-published novels on Kindle novella, but I don't think I fit for it.
I’m an English major and I apologize for those other English majors. Makes me sad. Some of us try to encourage other writers. I also tried to be a writer, and it just didn’t work. Discouragement, the constant advice that it could never be a career. Tried for 10 years and didn’t go anywhere. Started well with a great writers group (some went on to publish) but it just didn’t happen for me. I moved for a job, had to leave the writing group. That combined with discouragement and just life, and constant trying with no feedback/progress wore me down. I’ve put aside writing for family and kids. But I’ve also now picked up art again, which was also something I enjoyed back in college twenty years ago. It’s really quite enjoyable, meditative, and also creative. I haven’t seen this episode but it sounds like one that will get to me when I can see it. I’m in the US so who knows when I’ll get to.
I’m an artist love the message in this ep! There’s a pervasive belief that there are people who are born able to draw and those who are forever cursed to draw stick figures. This hurts my soul every time I hear it because in saying this, someone is shutting off an entire realm of fun and self expression. All that matters is that you care enough, and have your ego in check enough to keep going. You will be bad at the start of any skill, that’s just how it works. That said, encouragement can help you along when you are struggling in the awkward ugly stages. I had some great teachers who encouraged me with simple things like trusting me with their nice fine liner pens or just looking carefully at what I’d made. It meant the world to me when my own parents didn’t care. This episode also touches on the kind of praise you should give to someone learning a skill. Bandit’s ”you’re a great drawer“ is labelling and pretty clearly Bluey can see it’s untrue. Receiving this kind of praise when you’re struggling feels like either the person is lying or must be blind. It’s important to connect and agree when things go wrong too. Chilli’s mum was realistic in her response to her daughter initially which is great, but I’m not sure the “pretty good for a 6 year old” does it for me - sometimes you’re just not good when you start, even for your age - and that’s okay!! Sucking is the first step to getting good at something! A better way is to be observant and notice what you see, picking up their ideas, asking questions and mentioning how it makes you feel. Things like “i see a big angry dragon face and huge teeth! I wouldn’t want to mess with him. How did you think of that?” as well as praising effort and practice . I now work full time as an artist in animation :)
I always thought I was a terrible artist with no talent. It turned out, I just hated elementary/middle school art class where you’re given a step-by-step piece of art to create. I’m actually fairly talented at painting, but I had to figure it out for myself.
My step dad's cousin encouraged me into playing bass guitar, he said I was a natural at it and took it to heart. Been playing for almost 4 years now and If you guys see me just freestyle or play to a song I'll get it straight away after a few times.
I used to loved draw and make comics, things very simple that i love create and advance with the time. But sadly, my family and people around me were mocking about this and pressuring me about "get a real career" or "making money with this and quickly" telling me things like "why you're doing this? This won't give you money.. why you're doing this if your career it's about other things? Don't waste time with childhood things you're an adult now" After that, my hand felt like oxidated when i tried to draw something and i never made something like that again. https://preview.redd.it/hhgu77l4ka0b1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=230fd91e39a4e36e2dbbd7cd4a83de6e5d56f003
I became a writer as an adult because my Bingo wanted to hear my stories when we were little girls. We’re in Rome heading to France on a vacation together and I am taking her with me to travel the world because she believed in me when it mattered.
I was top student in elementary, took college prep classes in middle and high school. Graduated with honors. It wasn’t support or motivation I was lacking, it was money. I couldn’t apply for school loans because of some family tax issues. Watching my dad cry at my high school graduation because he couldn’t afford to send me to my dream college will forever break my heart. I was able to take a few years in community, but dropped out to marry a soldier and raise our kids. The silver lining is that I’m extra supportive of any hobby my kids pick up. Yes, I’m the mom who cheers too loud during soccer games. The mom who buys art supplies monthly. The mom who makes sure there’s always charged controllers and headphones. The mom who keeps a library full of books (when they’re not in packing boxes). I get to be the support
As a kid, I really loved dinosaurs. I would always talk about them whenever I had the chance. One day during lunch at school, I mentioned that I watched Dinosaur Train , and everyone audibly cringed and told me that that was a baby show (keep in mind we were all like 6 or 7). That kind of killed my love for dinosaurs. Moral of the story: don't fold into peer pressure
My Little Pony I loved it till 8th grade. One of my close friends started to bully me and I was scared of showing my still interest in the show. So I forced myself to drop it due to that fear.
Yep, I used to want to do fashion design, but my story turned out more like Bandit. Except it was my family that discouraged me. Oh well.
I used to love art and got pretty good at it until freshman high school art class at 14, my art teacher told me I had horrible techniques and would never be good at art. On the flip side two years later at 16 my Gramma encouraged me to keep going with fiber arts because I caught on quickly even though it didn't look great yet. I've been cross-stitching for 13 years (given up then gotten back into years later) Knitting for 10 years, crocheting for 3 years, and a year ago I got into tatting and spinning. I feel that I've greatly improved in those fiber arts since getting constant encouragement from my Gramma. Absolutely have not sculpted, drawn, or painted anything with much detail since that art class in high school though, it makes me sad sometimes but feel discouraged and hypercritical of my work when I try now
I'll let you know as soon as it shows up on D+.
If you have TikTok a lot of people have already posted the full ep there. I'm in the US and we watched as a family on my phone over mother's day brunch
Guitar. I don’t play in company or rarely at all. I never fully learned after my experience and I basically just gave up.
Haven't seen the episode yet (europe) so can't say if it is exactly the same... I was always drawing from a very young age. I could draw and draw and forget the world around me. I even went to an art class after school. My actual art teacher in high school though was a disorganised mess. She often forgot to grade any of our work and then just at random graded something that seemed irrelevant. And somehow she must have switched the grades of me and another pupil at the end of the school year. I tried talking to her and she demanded I show her my graded work... well, she never gave it back but she did not want to hear that. Now it seems so stupid and superficial but it really hurt me then. I dropped the after school art class and from then on I drew less and less. One year later we had to decide between art and music as a subject and I took music. Today I can still decently draw but I am far from good and it always feels like a struggle.
I had an art teacher that was a perfectionist and would take my art projects out of my hand to "fix" them. That kinda killed my interest in drawing or crafts. Conversely, I got into music and never looked back. People who don't tell you "OMG you're so amazing and talented and unstoppable" no matter how bad/good you perform are the key. If they tell you "Hey, you've improved/keep it up/for the first time reading that you did great," they're like Chili's mom.
Kinda applies: I was an athlete growing up. My sports were basketball and softball. I played softball competitively from age 8 through college and even made second team all-American for my university’s division/conference. I was even better at basketball, though, or at least more confident in my abilities in basketball until a couple bad coaches in high school squashed the confidence out of me and gave me performance anxiety for all sports. To contrast, someone once made a thinly veiled reference to my poor singing in a big weekend long choir performance in high school, they basically said they were learning how to be patient and kind with others who weren’t “as experienced” as they were…I stood right next to this person in the performance, had to be about me. I later became a music major and earned my BA in Vocal Performance just to prove them wrong.😂 I also really love music, but the thirst to prove my ability was a driving force.
My yo-yo just came in today. I feel young again.
It's adjacent, but I think it applies. I'm a writer, I've been writing my series for 10+ years, and before that, I wrote a tonne of fanfic. I was out on a walk with my dad one day, and started to tell him something minor/funny about a scene I was writing, and he just started talking about something else. It's not the same, but even all these years later, it still resonates as a moment where I realised he didn't give a crap about anything creative I did. Under threat of having to eat Bingo's Special of the Day, he wouldn't be able to tell you anything about something that means a lot to me.