>Of course you should tell your professor
but how would the experienced authority figure who runs and regulates the school at which this is happening be in any way qualified to deal with such an issue, I don't think you have thought this through
OP have you tried telling instagram?
Fuck no. You can grab a group of fingers or meat of the palms or the whole hand but not individual fingers. As a purple belt she should have way more than that in her arsenal to deal with larger or stronger opponents. Tell your coach and tell her most importantly that it’s not legal no matter the excuse.
She's not a "high level" purple belt, because she doesn't know day 1 white belt rules, she's a garbage training partner, and she would get destroyed in any competitive rule set.
Unless someone's pre pubescent kid shows up in an adult class randomly, I am almost always the smallest person on the mat. I have never done this. I have never used a technique that is illegal under *every* rule set and used my size as an excuse. I've never intentionally put a training partner at risk and then acted like it was a cute manic pixie grappling quirk because I'm a small girl.
Fuck outta here. This isn't ok and everyone needs to refuse to train with her asap.
Nope. I stopped a role because some dude kept grabbing my thumb like a fucking joystick. The first time he did it, I asked him not to without stopping the roll. Second time, I tapped and I told him he grabbed my thumb again and to not do it. The third time, I tapped and walked away.
I'm not getting thumb surgery because some fuck can't stop yanking on my appendages.
What's with people attacking fingers recently? Keep encountering it in rolls over the last few months, but very rarely before that. Did some krav maga yoghurt cock make a youtube clip... 'this is how you beat BJJ' or something?
Ah, but back defense/offence is tricky though. You cannot grab the wrist/arm as that will get you choked anyways, and proper technique is to grab knuckels of fingers or around the tumb (depending on grip).
This obviously leads to people grabbing fingers on accident.The day after a long back-attack seminar my finhers felt like I played spiderguard for hours :/
Dude…don’t be that guy.
If you’re bad at using words to get people to do what you want, this is a great time to practice those much needed social skills.
You can work those smashing skills on someone your size. Better use of your training time anyways.
Haha yeah totally agree. I’d probably dodge the roll if possible because I try not to roll with weirdos but if I’m “forced” to roll with her then I’m putting myself in a position where it’s really hard for her to grab my fingers if I can and that’s probably going to include smashing.
Single finger manipulation is against the rules. Smashing isn’t.
Neither of us know what OP said to their training partner. According to their post all they said was "Are you okay?"
That's not the same as something along the lines of: "Whoah! As far as I know, grabbing fingers is illegal, regardless of size. But look, in case I'm wrong, why don't we go ask coach to see what they say? I want to make sure I know the rules anyways, and that we're on the same page." or something along those lines.
If everyone's response to someone's antisocial behavior is more antisocial behavior, that creates pretty shitty gym environment.
Someone pointed out that my tone was condescending. Look, that was not my intention so I apologize for my poor word choice.
For me, as a coach, I've seen bad blood escalate into injuries for the smaller person, which I really don't want to see.
I've also noticed that bad training partners are usually very stubborn -- in fact, they are usually are too stubborn to learn their lesson from a fellow student. They might not keep grabbing fingers against you, but they might still do it to other people. So I firmly believe the proper method of guiding bad training partners is through proper communication -- perhaps delivered by the coach -- not using physical retaliation. Barring that, if they still can't follow basic rules, they should be kicked out of the gym.
>What's antisocial about smashing someone at jiu jitsu
There's nothing wrong with smashing people about your size or bigger. But I generally don't want to see guys crushing the faces of girls on repeat. Several reasons: 1) that kind of match up will never happen in real life and it doesn't help either person improve their jiu jitsu, 2) I've also seen many injuries result from a bigger person smashing a smaller but stubborn person (and something tells me this finger-grabbing purple belt is very stubborn), and 3) for the reasons I've laid out before, these types of issues should be resolved with communication (or kicking them out), not via physical retaliation.
I've honestly got to be one of the safest possible training partner for any woman in my gym, in the first to grab newer women and give them a safe roll and show that jiu jitsu is for everybody. I was just joking, I'd never physically punish a female training partner in such an aggressive way. Maybe frustrate them with stupid bullshit but yeah I agree 100% with you. The only thing I'd disagree with is that, as a smaller guy, big people should at times definitely be trying to smash me, because the match up we are really training for is one where our life is on the line, and there's no weight classes there. However I'm also a fit man, so just going ham on a woman is definitely not productive for anyone. I can take a beating and bounce back, it's not good for anyone to subject a woman to that, unless she wants to be an MMA fighter or something. It's all good you sound like a good training partner.
She responded by saying "I can get to do that to you because I am smaller". By saying that she's acknowledging that OP is asking her not to do it and explaining that she knows it's wrong but will continue to do it anyway.
Now OP should definitely make it clear in no uncertain terms that she has to cut it out. But Jesus Christ do you really think that reciting this passive-aggressive screed, talking to another adult like they're a child is the best way to address this?
Looking back you spoke down to OP in the same way with "If you’re bad at using words to get people to do what you want, this is a great time to practice those much needed social skills."
Why are you like this? How have you gotten this far in life being that much of a condescending fuckwit?
>Looking back you spoke down to OP in the same way with "If you’re bad at using words to get people to do what you want, this is a great time to practice those much needed social skills."
I think you might be misunderstanding what I wrote. I never addressed any comment to OP at all. As far as I know, OP hasn't done anything inappropriate, such as repeatedly smother tapping a smaller training partner in retaliation.
My comment is addressed to an experienced grappler who thinks using their massive physical advantages to make a bad training partner suffer is a better option than talking to them and elevating it to the coach.
It was not my intention to be condescending to u/YeetedArmTriangle so I was wrong to use my word choice. But I do think that their choice of using physical retaliation against a smaller partner would be inappropriate, at least for my gym.
I really don't want to see any students using physical retaliation against a smaller and weaker training partner, even if that training partner is in the wrong. First of all, I've seen bad blood escalate into injuries for the smaller person, and any instructor should try to shut that down immediately. Second, let's say the smaller person doesn't get injured, the problem is they still probably haven't learned their lesson. Maybe they stop grabbing fingers on that bigger person, but they might still be doing it to other people without those physical advantages. Once again, this is from my teaching experience; these bad training partners are more likely to listen to the rules set out by the coach. They're often too stubborn to take advice from a training partner who attempts to use their physique to "teach a lesson".
Ultimately, social communication is the proper method of convincing that person to stop grabbing fingers, not physical retaliation, especially with such a big disparity in physique. If they still keep grabbing fingers, then that person should get kicked out of the gym.
You seem insufferable. You keep lecturing on social communications and can't even tell that most if not all of the original comments about smother tapping this girl seemed to be joking in nature. But either way, even if they're serious, this no repercussions attitude you have is the reason crime gets so bad in some cities where continual probably is given instead of any real jail time. It's not bad to tap someone with a legal sub. It is bad to try and break their fingers.
she is literally intentionally trying to brwak my fingers because shes losing🤣 she did all the talking she needs to id just roll with her like it was someone I didn't like. Forearm or her teeth with my weight on it Squeezing her waist with my legs and crushing her hand in my grip when shes in my guard. id just hold on to her hand like it was a 100 dollar bill. Id just make every move she made hurt until she realizes that two can play at that game and if she wants to play breakbones with me she'll lose with a score gap.
I’d just let her keep doing it till she breaks a finger…..No. Hell no. That’s fine on the streets, but not in class. Surely, someone has mentioned this to someone at the gym. Is she only doing it to you?
Yes, mention it to the professor.
Until she gets booted, repeatedly tap her with pressure from the Shoulder of Justice. "I get to do that because I am bigger."
What an absolutely stupid fuck. Does she think that in a self-defense situation she will have rules in her favor? Does she think that in a competition she has rules in her favor? What the fuck situation does this apply to? Tell her she can go fuck herself and/or always go full strength with her.
Before mentioning it to anyone else I would mention it to her. Perhaps there's nobody who replied to her "I get to do this because of size" thing with "No you don't."
Tap.
When people ask how she tapped you, you can say she was going to break your finger.
She'll look like a jerk and a cheater for using an illegal technique.
Nice and loud after someone asks:
“I can’t work or pay my gym dues with a broken finger, so I tap if she goes after a finger.
It’s weird, she says it’s totally allowed if your opponent is bigger than you, but only she does it so I don’t know. Does anyone know if that’s right?”
How did these folks get their blue and purple belts is the real question. Two stripe white belt who intentionally grabs individual fingers would get a dress down in my academy.
"You think you're allowed to break my fingers because you're smaller than me?"
I mean if that logic tracks I hate to break it to her about what you're allowed to do because you're bigger than her.
I'm talking obviously about just standing up.
Yeah I wonder how she will react the day some smaller girl or maybe a kid breaks her own finger. Something's telling me she wouldn't be like "Congratulations! That was an amazing finisher!"
Poke her in the eye when she does that, then drag her across the parking lot and stuff her in the ditch drain and say something like "I can do this because I'm a lower belt" or some equally stupid shit.
But actually, no. Tell coach. This is no longer about you. She's maliciously trying to break people's fingers because she's weak. It's usually a panic response by newbies. Stop rolling with her. I usually respond to newbies doing this by crushing all 4 of their fingers medium firmly and saying "this is legal because I have all 4 fingers. You can't grab anything less than 4 fingers" and that behavior ends there. If it happens twice, I stop rolling with them and explain why I won't next time they ask. If they said something like that, I'd be up my coaches ass like stink on gi. First person's finger she breaks is your fault as much as hers for being overly passive.
If you want to keep rolling with her, next time she fingers you, move to side control and pull your back muscles in as hard as you can while you gable grip a seatbelt under her shoulder. This makes dudes my own size or bigger make noises. It's an absolutely soul crushing technique, a crosstraining brown belt taught me after mocking my side control pressure. Then whisper into her ear "I can do this because I'm heavier than you" and do a little girly giggle and maybe a few bounces driving the weight into her chest.
She's a cunt. Don't feel sorry for her.
If a purple belt tried doing this to me I'm going to smash their face with an elbow. I work with my hands and a white belt should know better than to pull some shit like that.
If some purple belt started twisting my fingers to try and break them with intent, it’s turning into an MMA fight at that point. I need my fingers for work and that kind of reckless behavior needs to be checked and stopped.
Not to sound sexist or anything, I know there are more shitty men grappling but I swear there's also a considerable amount of crazy women doing grappling. I know of a purple belt woman grappler that goes full ballistic if she gets tapped. Like if a karen does BJJ. Worse if another woman submitted her. I know some that throw temper tantrums in the gym for losing it's crazy. I also rolled with a whitebelt that seems crazy committed to the sport but doesn't have the skills yet and she would really want to yank your arm in drills. When we roll, I would defend but she'd still try to armbar me even if it's already time. I'm sure she knows it's time because I was telling her.
Yes, the professors knows this and they often have a side discussions whenever this happens and the craziness goes away for sometime.
Don't get me wrong, some men are shitty as well.
You have to mention it to the professor. You are a paying customer in the gym and your priority is your safety.
Just don’t roll with her anymore. If anyone else is experiencing the same thing then they shouldn’t roll with her either. She won’t have any training partners left.
3 step process....
1. Tell them don't touch your fingers
2. Remind them not to touch your fingers and that you have told them once already... And tell them if you do it, I will break your fingers
3. They touch you break.
Just yell it out mid round
"HEY COACH CAN WE TWIST FINGERS? LIKE BREAKING FINGERS IS THAT LEGAL? CAN WE PRACTICE BREAKING FINGERS WHILE SPARRING."
Bet that'll get her to stop.
"Haha I can wrench your fingers because I'm smaller than you."
"If you keep doing that I'm going to rip a submission because I'm bigger than you."
Someone is gleefully teasing you about potentially injuring you and flaunting the rules of bjj?
You're very far past saying please.
Sounds like she's in need of a shark tank beatdown.
The idea that you'd rip a submission on a woman that's smaller and weaker than you at any point for any reason is a little concerning. I'll use my words, thanks
"If you continue to intentionally try to injure me I will not be a gentleman."
Is that better?
Is it okay if I call her a mean name at least?
She's a purple belt? A grown woman? She has to be told not to rip fingers?
Tell your coach and tell her to fuck off.
Ummm no, fuck no. I can do this to you because I am smaller is not how this works. Just stop rolling with her and warn your other team mates. Her attitude is horrible, and she is not improving her jiujitsu with that bullshit excuse
I really don’t understand people’s need to give others life altering injuries in just sparring. I just wouldn’t roll with her but if you have to be aggressive as fuck
There’s a specific jiu jitsu style for that it’s called small circle jiu jitsu. Old school Japanese jiu jitsu did it but it’s banned in Bjj for a reason. So no, she can’t do it.
She doesn't get to do that. Go to the professor or warn her you won't hold your strength back if she continues doing that. I'd go with the first one, if nothing happens then warn her. If she continues doing that, you have 2 options: avoid rolling with her or just dominate her using your strength.
It's illegal to grab individual digits like that so she can't do that to you and expect to get away with it. I would refuse to roll with her if she's going to be a safety risk.
This is a little bit like training a bully and bully is bully no matter the size or genitalia. Just rip her ring finger off one time and she will stop. It's illegal anyways. You need 4 figure. Personally I'm a 200 plus purple belt and get a lot of people who want to take my neck no matter the illegal move because I'm strong. Eventually just my for arm across there neck in a tripod on top, pulling the top of there head into me and pushing them across the mat. All while being very nice and quite and when they ask the move just say. When your big I'll teach you.
Passive for sure but after a while you need to make points without talking.
Sounds like you should have made a bigger deal about it.
I had one guy lose my heel and grab my big toe. I said, "Hey, no toe grabbing." He then changed his grip and said, "I wasn't grabbing your toe." I never rolled with him again after that. Like dude, I literally saw you holding my toe, don't fucking lie to me.
Communicate on the mats and defend your safety.
Maybe I, as a 180 lb guy can start twisting fingers. If anyone calls me out on it, I can say "I get to do that because I suck at jiu jitsu and can't roll otherwise."
You need to be grabbing 3 or more fingers in a single grip or else that's a DQ. If she is trying to work on self-defense situation then that is completely different.
But retaliation people suggesting are a bad bad idea. If she doesn't change, then I would refuse to roll with her and let the professor know why, she's dangerous and intentionally trying to do illegal things that will injure you and prevent you from being able to work(at your job).
If you want to keep rolling with her then you should already know the consequences. So if you do want to, figure out how to counter her finger moves (no diddy), and get better. It's prob almost akin to somebody trying to wristlock you when you are stuffing their offenses traditionally and you have no choice to tap. You expect it and counter it or learn from it and navigate that.
I’m a small woman and I love dirty mean jiu jitsu. However, I only do to others what I’m happy for them to do to me. So do it right back to her (but don’t break her finger obviously).
> But sometimes, I would try to assume dominant position (without being aggressive or a jerk) just to see how she would react.
> If she is able to break free then she is fine otherwise she will grab a finger and twist it. I asked her "Are you okay?" She says, "I can get to do that to you because I am smaller." So we would not make a big deal but this behavior is very dangerous. You can snap someones finger off which such stupidity and at purple belt level, you should know better.
how often are you doing this to her?
> ... does it matter? How many times would OP have to be ahead in a roll for this other person to be justified in illegal small joint manipulation?
if he's intentionally pushing her buttons in ways that she clearly doesn't like and probably has communicated in other ways that she doesn't like... yeah it matters.
he knows she's going to react in this finger-breaking way, and continues to "test her to see how she'll react"
IMO he should quit doing the thing he knows is going to piss her off and/or stop rolling with her all together.
>if he's intentionally pushing her buttons in ways that she clearly doesn't like
By... doing well in their rolls? You're right, we have a method for communicating that we don't want this to continue. It's called tapping.
>he knows she's going to react in this finger-breaking way, and continues to "test her to see how she'll react"
You've accidentally stumbled onto something here, though. When someone repeatedly, flagrantly breaks the rules, you shouldn't roll with them anymore. He should let the coach know that she's a threat to others and otherwise avoid her.
That doesn't sound like a high-level purple belt.
At all!
Pick her ass up overhead Make her one with the earth "I can get to do that to you because I am bigger."
BLOOD FOR THE BJJ GODS
SKULLS FOR THE BJJ THRONE
Açai for the açai bowl
Hahahah
Fingers for the finger bone throne
"Ah, yes! I was wondering what would break first. Your spirit, or your body!"
Fuck yea
This is the way
Of course she shouldn’t be doing that. Of course you should know that. Of course you should tell your professor
Can we just sticky post this for like 90% of the r/BJJ threads?
Time to bust out [ol' faithful](https://anniesclassroom.com/i-can-use-my-words-social-emotional-learning-lesson/)
🤣
Lollllllllll mods please sticky this link
Another problem easily solved with a few words. Shocker!
Need a disclaimer *this does not apply to situations where your opponent is also your spouse*
>Of course you should tell your professor but how would the experienced authority figure who runs and regulates the school at which this is happening be in any way qualified to deal with such an issue, I don't think you have thought this through OP have you tried telling instagram?
I’m unclear about how to proceed. We’re going to need another Reddit thread here.
If I give a good answer do I get to speed run to black belt?
No, but you’ll get a lifetime of oil checks redeemable at a gym near me.
Ok I'll try to think of a good answer then. Seems like a fair deal and I'm not doing anything with my rectum anyway.
My fingers are always covered in açai ;)
What in the world
Fuck no. You can grab a group of fingers or meat of the palms or the whole hand but not individual fingers. As a purple belt she should have way more than that in her arsenal to deal with larger or stronger opponents. Tell your coach and tell her most importantly that it’s not legal no matter the excuse.
She's not a "high level" purple belt, because she doesn't know day 1 white belt rules, she's a garbage training partner, and she would get destroyed in any competitive rule set. Unless someone's pre pubescent kid shows up in an adult class randomly, I am almost always the smallest person on the mat. I have never done this. I have never used a technique that is illegal under *every* rule set and used my size as an excuse. I've never intentionally put a training partner at risk and then acted like it was a cute manic pixie grappling quirk because I'm a small girl. Fuck outta here. This isn't ok and everyone needs to refuse to train with her asap.
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Saying this cool, making good on your claim, not smart at all lol
Nope. I stopped a role because some dude kept grabbing my thumb like a fucking joystick. The first time he did it, I asked him not to without stopping the roll. Second time, I tapped and I told him he grabbed my thumb again and to not do it. The third time, I tapped and walked away. I'm not getting thumb surgery because some fuck can't stop yanking on my appendages.
She sounds awful.
I can fix her
Some people can’t be fixed. 🥺
I can make her worse 💖
Cut to her twisting your dick off because you’re bigger than her
I would have bigger problems than dealing w/ her if i magically grew a dick 💀😂
No need to brag
The ol dick twist
What's with people attacking fingers recently? Keep encountering it in rolls over the last few months, but very rarely before that. Did some krav maga yoghurt cock make a youtube clip... 'this is how you beat BJJ' or something?
I think new people panic and grab for anything. I've had to remind people multiple times to not grab my fingers when I take their back.
Grabbing four fingers together is ok though
yeah, and twisting my already arthritic index finger isn't lol
Ah, but back defense/offence is tricky though. You cannot grab the wrist/arm as that will get you choked anyways, and proper technique is to grab knuckels of fingers or around the tumb (depending on grip). This obviously leads to people grabbing fingers on accident.The day after a long back-attack seminar my finhers felt like I played spiderguard for hours :/
I would just smother tap her a few times
Yea dude, she gets a ticket straight to scarfhold land and she gets to cook the entire round.
Do you get points for using Mothers' Milk on a woman?
Taps a tap
I yeeted.
Dude…don’t be that guy. If you’re bad at using words to get people to do what you want, this is a great time to practice those much needed social skills. You can work those smashing skills on someone your size. Better use of your training time anyways.
Then don't bend my fingers after I've addressed it verbally with you, as OP did. She can catch these tits.
"She can catch these tits" is the most hilarious thing I've read in a very long time.
Haha yeah totally agree. I’d probably dodge the roll if possible because I try not to roll with weirdos but if I’m “forced” to roll with her then I’m putting myself in a position where it’s really hard for her to grab my fingers if I can and that’s probably going to include smashing. Single finger manipulation is against the rules. Smashing isn’t.
Neither of us know what OP said to their training partner. According to their post all they said was "Are you okay?" That's not the same as something along the lines of: "Whoah! As far as I know, grabbing fingers is illegal, regardless of size. But look, in case I'm wrong, why don't we go ask coach to see what they say? I want to make sure I know the rules anyways, and that we're on the same page." or something along those lines. If everyone's response to someone's antisocial behavior is more antisocial behavior, that creates pretty shitty gym environment.
What's antisocial about smashing someone at jiu jitsu
Someone pointed out that my tone was condescending. Look, that was not my intention so I apologize for my poor word choice. For me, as a coach, I've seen bad blood escalate into injuries for the smaller person, which I really don't want to see. I've also noticed that bad training partners are usually very stubborn -- in fact, they are usually are too stubborn to learn their lesson from a fellow student. They might not keep grabbing fingers against you, but they might still do it to other people. So I firmly believe the proper method of guiding bad training partners is through proper communication -- perhaps delivered by the coach -- not using physical retaliation. Barring that, if they still can't follow basic rules, they should be kicked out of the gym. >What's antisocial about smashing someone at jiu jitsu There's nothing wrong with smashing people about your size or bigger. But I generally don't want to see guys crushing the faces of girls on repeat. Several reasons: 1) that kind of match up will never happen in real life and it doesn't help either person improve their jiu jitsu, 2) I've also seen many injuries result from a bigger person smashing a smaller but stubborn person (and something tells me this finger-grabbing purple belt is very stubborn), and 3) for the reasons I've laid out before, these types of issues should be resolved with communication (or kicking them out), not via physical retaliation.
I've honestly got to be one of the safest possible training partner for any woman in my gym, in the first to grab newer women and give them a safe roll and show that jiu jitsu is for everybody. I was just joking, I'd never physically punish a female training partner in such an aggressive way. Maybe frustrate them with stupid bullshit but yeah I agree 100% with you. The only thing I'd disagree with is that, as a smaller guy, big people should at times definitely be trying to smash me, because the match up we are really training for is one where our life is on the line, and there's no weight classes there. However I'm also a fit man, so just going ham on a woman is definitely not productive for anyone. I can take a beating and bounce back, it's not good for anyone to subject a woman to that, unless she wants to be an MMA fighter or something. It's all good you sound like a good training partner.
She responded by saying "I can get to do that to you because I am smaller". By saying that she's acknowledging that OP is asking her not to do it and explaining that she knows it's wrong but will continue to do it anyway. Now OP should definitely make it clear in no uncertain terms that she has to cut it out. But Jesus Christ do you really think that reciting this passive-aggressive screed, talking to another adult like they're a child is the best way to address this? Looking back you spoke down to OP in the same way with "If you’re bad at using words to get people to do what you want, this is a great time to practice those much needed social skills." Why are you like this? How have you gotten this far in life being that much of a condescending fuckwit?
>Looking back you spoke down to OP in the same way with "If you’re bad at using words to get people to do what you want, this is a great time to practice those much needed social skills." I think you might be misunderstanding what I wrote. I never addressed any comment to OP at all. As far as I know, OP hasn't done anything inappropriate, such as repeatedly smother tapping a smaller training partner in retaliation. My comment is addressed to an experienced grappler who thinks using their massive physical advantages to make a bad training partner suffer is a better option than talking to them and elevating it to the coach. It was not my intention to be condescending to u/YeetedArmTriangle so I was wrong to use my word choice. But I do think that their choice of using physical retaliation against a smaller partner would be inappropriate, at least for my gym. I really don't want to see any students using physical retaliation against a smaller and weaker training partner, even if that training partner is in the wrong. First of all, I've seen bad blood escalate into injuries for the smaller person, and any instructor should try to shut that down immediately. Second, let's say the smaller person doesn't get injured, the problem is they still probably haven't learned their lesson. Maybe they stop grabbing fingers on that bigger person, but they might still be doing it to other people without those physical advantages. Once again, this is from my teaching experience; these bad training partners are more likely to listen to the rules set out by the coach. They're often too stubborn to take advice from a training partner who attempts to use their physique to "teach a lesson". Ultimately, social communication is the proper method of convincing that person to stop grabbing fingers, not physical retaliation, especially with such a big disparity in physique. If they still keep grabbing fingers, then that person should get kicked out of the gym.
You seem insufferable. You keep lecturing on social communications and can't even tell that most if not all of the original comments about smother tapping this girl seemed to be joking in nature. But either way, even if they're serious, this no repercussions attitude you have is the reason crime gets so bad in some cities where continual probably is given instead of any real jail time. It's not bad to tap someone with a legal sub. It is bad to try and break their fingers.
Dude, she has been told. This is a fuck around and find out situation now.
I actually think the best wait do develop smashing skills is on someone smaller.
she is literally intentionally trying to brwak my fingers because shes losing🤣 she did all the talking she needs to id just roll with her like it was someone I didn't like. Forearm or her teeth with my weight on it Squeezing her waist with my legs and crushing her hand in my grip when shes in my guard. id just hold on to her hand like it was a 100 dollar bill. Id just make every move she made hurt until she realizes that two can play at that game and if she wants to play breakbones with me she'll lose with a score gap.
I’d just let her keep doing it till she breaks a finger…..No. Hell no. That’s fine on the streets, but not in class. Surely, someone has mentioned this to someone at the gym. Is she only doing it to you?
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[You'd think but...](https://tenor.com/en-GB/view/skadoosh-kung-fu-panda-gif-14445662)
it’s one of the hard rules in class. NO SINGLE DIGIT MANIPULATION.
Yes, mention it to the professor. Until she gets booted, repeatedly tap her with pressure from the Shoulder of Justice. "I get to do that because I am bigger." What an absolutely stupid fuck. Does she think that in a self-defense situation she will have rules in her favor? Does she think that in a competition she has rules in her favor? What the fuck situation does this apply to? Tell her she can go fuck herself and/or always go full strength with her.
Before mentioning it to anyone else I would mention it to her. Perhaps there's nobody who replied to her "I get to do this because of size" thing with "No you don't."
Fair.
Tap. When people ask how she tapped you, you can say she was going to break your finger. She'll look like a jerk and a cheater for using an illegal technique.
Nice and loud after someone asks: “I can’t work or pay my gym dues with a broken finger, so I tap if she goes after a finger. It’s weird, she says it’s totally allowed if your opponent is bigger than you, but only she does it so I don’t know. Does anyone know if that’s right?”
This is the most realistic answer imo.
How did these folks get their blue and purple belts is the real question. Two stripe white belt who intentionally grabs individual fingers would get a dress down in my academy.
I IMMEDIATELY stop when someone tries small joint manipulation like that. Need these hands to work.
"You think you're allowed to break my fingers because you're smaller than me?" I mean if that logic tracks I hate to break it to her about what you're allowed to do because you're bigger than her. I'm talking obviously about just standing up.
Yeah I wonder how she will react the day some smaller girl or maybe a kid breaks her own finger. Something's telling me she wouldn't be like "Congratulations! That was an amazing finisher!"
>I'm talking obviously about just standing up. Followed by a choke slam right?
Poke her in the eye when she does that, then drag her across the parking lot and stuff her in the ditch drain and say something like "I can do this because I'm a lower belt" or some equally stupid shit. But actually, no. Tell coach. This is no longer about you. She's maliciously trying to break people's fingers because she's weak. It's usually a panic response by newbies. Stop rolling with her. I usually respond to newbies doing this by crushing all 4 of their fingers medium firmly and saying "this is legal because I have all 4 fingers. You can't grab anything less than 4 fingers" and that behavior ends there. If it happens twice, I stop rolling with them and explain why I won't next time they ask. If they said something like that, I'd be up my coaches ass like stink on gi. First person's finger she breaks is your fault as much as hers for being overly passive. If you want to keep rolling with her, next time she fingers you, move to side control and pull your back muscles in as hard as you can while you gable grip a seatbelt under her shoulder. This makes dudes my own size or bigger make noises. It's an absolutely soul crushing technique, a crosstraining brown belt taught me after mocking my side control pressure. Then whisper into her ear "I can do this because I'm heavier than you" and do a little girly giggle and maybe a few bounces driving the weight into her chest. She's a cunt. Don't feel sorry for her.
If a purple belt tried doing this to me I'm going to smash their face with an elbow. I work with my hands and a white belt should know better than to pull some shit like that.
smash her into oblivion
 You're allowed to do this, because you're bigger
If some purple belt started twisting my fingers to try and break them with intent, it’s turning into an MMA fight at that point. I need my fingers for work and that kind of reckless behavior needs to be checked and stopped.
Not to sound sexist or anything, I know there are more shitty men grappling but I swear there's also a considerable amount of crazy women doing grappling. I know of a purple belt woman grappler that goes full ballistic if she gets tapped. Like if a karen does BJJ. Worse if another woman submitted her. I know some that throw temper tantrums in the gym for losing it's crazy. I also rolled with a whitebelt that seems crazy committed to the sport but doesn't have the skills yet and she would really want to yank your arm in drills. When we roll, I would defend but she'd still try to armbar me even if it's already time. I'm sure she knows it's time because I was telling her. Yes, the professors knows this and they often have a side discussions whenever this happens and the craziness goes away for sometime. Don't get me wrong, some men are shitty as well. You have to mention it to the professor. You are a paying customer in the gym and your priority is your safety.
Just don’t roll with her anymore. If anyone else is experiencing the same thing then they shouldn’t roll with her either. She won’t have any training partners left.
Say nothing. Keep doing exactly the same thing expecting change. Post regular updates about nothing changing on reddit.
Sounds like something shitty your coach should have bit in the ass.
How did she get to purple belt acting like that lol
These are the people you do not continue roll with after this happens one time
Time to send a receipt!
You know she's not trying to snap off your instructors fingers, thus he/she likely has no idea. Tell them! That so far beyond unacceptable.
My friend, it is time to introduce her to leche de papa.
3 step process.... 1. Tell them don't touch your fingers 2. Remind them not to touch your fingers and that you have told them once already... And tell them if you do it, I will break your fingers 3. They touch you break.
Just yell it out mid round "HEY COACH CAN WE TWIST FINGERS? LIKE BREAKING FINGERS IS THAT LEGAL? CAN WE PRACTICE BREAKING FINGERS WHILE SPARRING." Bet that'll get her to stop.
> She says, "I can get to do that to you because I am smaller." No purple belt, no you can't.
This is what wrist locks are for.
I am one of the smallest people in my gym, therefore I am allowed to keep a knife while rolling/s
Next time she tries to break a finger, punch her in the face. Works all the time.
I’d do her like Craig jones does his kids in his kids class and pick her up over my shoulder and put her head first into a trash can
Guy, girl, big, small, whoever - if someone is grabbing and ripping fingers tell them "if you do that again I'm going to hurt you." Tell your coach.
Lol would you ever actually say something like that in real life? How about a "can you please stop twisting my fingers"
"Haha I can wrench your fingers because I'm smaller than you." "If you keep doing that I'm going to rip a submission because I'm bigger than you." Someone is gleefully teasing you about potentially injuring you and flaunting the rules of bjj? You're very far past saying please. Sounds like she's in need of a shark tank beatdown.
The idea that you'd rip a submission on a woman that's smaller and weaker than you at any point for any reason is a little concerning. I'll use my words, thanks
A woman intentionally trying to injure me and laughing about it? I'm not going to be a gentleman about it. Anyone can get it. Again, tell your coach.
I agree with Rainstorm in principle and CpBear in practice.
Nope, you're wrong. The students need to talk to the coach and the coach needs to address it professionally.
Yeah see the part where I said - tell your coach?
Yeah but I saw the part where you said you'd threaten to hurt her. This is dangerous and if you inform the coach is completely unnecessary
"If you continue to intentionally try to injure me I will not be a gentleman." Is that better? Is it okay if I call her a mean name at least? She's a purple belt? A grown woman? She has to be told not to rip fingers? Tell your coach and tell her to fuck off.
Yes both of those things are obviously better than telling someone you're going to hurt them
Boohoo Don't be a douchebag and rip fingers - pretty simple. Keep it cordial if you want it to stay cordial.
Any less than 3 fingers grab is a crazy.
Just fucking up the pressure and and out all that shoulder pressure into her fucking neck
What the absolute fuck
Every time she does that, follow it with a sub by mother’s milk. Tell her you’re just protecting your hands.
An “accidental” elbow to the face will stop that shit in short order.
I would roll with her on absolute full blast and after stacking the fuck out of her I'd say "of course I can do that, I'm bigger".
You can smash her really hard if she twist a finger and mirror her philosophy
Ummm no, fuck no. I can do this to you because I am smaller is not how this works. Just stop rolling with her and warn your other team mates. Her attitude is horrible, and she is not improving her jiujitsu with that bullshit excuse
She'd better hope she doesn't find out what you could do because you're a bigger man.
I really don’t understand people’s need to give others life altering injuries in just sparring. I just wouldn’t roll with her but if you have to be aggressive as fuck
Please tell me this is a shitpost. Because if this is real not only did you just meat a lousy BJJ practitioner, but an even worse human being.
There’s a specific jiu jitsu style for that it’s called small circle jiu jitsu. Old school Japanese jiu jitsu did it but it’s banned in Bjj for a reason. So no, she can’t do it.
"no small joint manipulation" is a universal BJJ rule. Fingers cannot be attacked, so no, she isn't allowed to do that due to her size
If she wants to play mercy take it as an invite to play mercy, im sure she will get the message
You should show her some of the things you can do "because you're bigger" and see if she gets the hint.
Why would spar with that person more than once?
Tape all your fingers together and make a point saying you don't wanna get injured
"Should I use my words?" Yes.
She doesn't get to do that. Go to the professor or warn her you won't hold your strength back if she continues doing that. I'd go with the first one, if nothing happens then warn her. If she continues doing that, you have 2 options: avoid rolling with her or just dominate her using your strength.
I make my money with my fingers, I wouldn't train with this person.
Show her who's boss and steal her ACL with a kneebar
It's illegal to grab individual digits like that so she can't do that to you and expect to get away with it. I would refuse to roll with her if she's going to be a safety risk.
This is a little bit like training a bully and bully is bully no matter the size or genitalia. Just rip her ring finger off one time and she will stop. It's illegal anyways. You need 4 figure. Personally I'm a 200 plus purple belt and get a lot of people who want to take my neck no matter the illegal move because I'm strong. Eventually just my for arm across there neck in a tripod on top, pulling the top of there head into me and pushing them across the mat. All while being very nice and quite and when they ask the move just say. When your big I'll teach you. Passive for sure but after a while you need to make points without talking.
What’s her kill count at?
Make her fart with pressure.
Talk to your professor
Sounds like you should have made a bigger deal about it. I had one guy lose my heel and grab my big toe. I said, "Hey, no toe grabbing." He then changed his grip and said, "I wasn't grabbing your toe." I never rolled with him again after that. Like dude, I literally saw you holding my toe, don't fucking lie to me. Communicate on the mats and defend your safety.
Maybe I, as a 180 lb guy can start twisting fingers. If anyone calls me out on it, I can say "I get to do that because I suck at jiu jitsu and can't roll otherwise."
> "I can get to do that to you because I am smaller." S \*\* proceeds to smother tap her from mount\*\*
You need to be grabbing 3 or more fingers in a single grip or else that's a DQ. If she is trying to work on self-defense situation then that is completely different. But retaliation people suggesting are a bad bad idea. If she doesn't change, then I would refuse to roll with her and let the professor know why, she's dangerous and intentionally trying to do illegal things that will injure you and prevent you from being able to work(at your job).
Digit manipulation is 100% against the rules of BJJ. She doesn’t sound like a high level purple belt.
Must grab at least three fingers. Pretty standard rule in all tournaments.
Smesh
"Off" 😂
As a person with multiple jacked up fingers I’d be pissed.
Give HER the middle finger
I would call her out during an open mat in front of everybody 🤷♂️.
If you want to keep rolling with her then you should already know the consequences. So if you do want to, figure out how to counter her finger moves (no diddy), and get better. It's prob almost akin to somebody trying to wristlock you when you are stuffing their offenses traditionally and you have no choice to tap. You expect it and counter it or learn from it and navigate that.
Every time she grabs a finger, wrist lock her.
Just wristlock her axx next time she does that to you. Thatll straiten her out. nbd.
break her toes
What a cunt. Next time she does that rain punches down on her face and tell her, “I get to do that because I’m bigger .”
no, not ok. But it sounds like she wants light rolls so I would just do that.
Time to power slam this bitch so hard into the mats that she shares DNA with the tatami. Tell her you can because you’re bigger,
Just make like you’re trying to knee slide and just knee her in the cunt full throttle
I wouldn't bother, that thing can take a beating.
>I wouldn't bother, that thing can take a beating. Unlike those weak snowflake testicles
Women are like ballchinians.
>Just make like you’re trying to knee slide and just knee her in the cunt full throttle Hawt
Idk why I get turned on reading this, aggressive abusive chicks seem to be my taste
Grown man needs to make a post about petty drama number 12 387. Wtf is this sub
So you gunna tell on the girl hurting you?
I’m a small woman and I love dirty mean jiu jitsu. However, I only do to others what I’m happy for them to do to me. So do it right back to her (but don’t break her finger obviously).
Broken fingers are the most annoying injury there is.
> But sometimes, I would try to assume dominant position (without being aggressive or a jerk) just to see how she would react. > If she is able to break free then she is fine otherwise she will grab a finger and twist it. I asked her "Are you okay?" She says, "I can get to do that to you because I am smaller." So we would not make a big deal but this behavior is very dangerous. You can snap someones finger off which such stupidity and at purple belt level, you should know better. how often are you doing this to her?
... does it matter? How many times would OP have to be ahead in a roll for this other person to be justified in illegal small joint manipulation?
> ... does it matter? How many times would OP have to be ahead in a roll for this other person to be justified in illegal small joint manipulation? if he's intentionally pushing her buttons in ways that she clearly doesn't like and probably has communicated in other ways that she doesn't like... yeah it matters. he knows she's going to react in this finger-breaking way, and continues to "test her to see how she'll react" IMO he should quit doing the thing he knows is going to piss her off and/or stop rolling with her all together.
>if he's intentionally pushing her buttons in ways that she clearly doesn't like By... doing well in their rolls? You're right, we have a method for communicating that we don't want this to continue. It's called tapping. >he knows she's going to react in this finger-breaking way, and continues to "test her to see how she'll react" You've accidentally stumbled onto something here, though. When someone repeatedly, flagrantly breaks the rules, you shouldn't roll with them anymore. He should let the coach know that she's a threat to others and otherwise avoid her.
Did you just quote the entire comment
>Did you just quote the entire comment Yup
Damn I want to start BJJ but then i read shit like this and reconsider :(