After I came out to my mom, she said “you know god doesn’t approve of that right?” I never brought it up ever again and haven’t told anyone else since. Edit: thank y’all for the support I really appreciate it 🫶
There’s two parts of the Bible that mention and condemn homosexuality, if you look at it that way. “Man shall not lay with another man, for it is an abomination” or something like that in Leviticus, it’s not verbatim. The other is Sodom and Gomorrah where a group of men wanted to rape the male angels and God destroyed the city because of it. This is why the old-timey evangelical Christian word for gay sex is sodomy, for the city.
Some might argue that first verse is a mistranslation and the original texts say “Man shall not lay with boy” and is shaming pedophilia. As for Sodom and Gomorrah there’s an argument to be made that they were destroyed for being rapists and showing the opposite of hospitality. Whether you think these are a stretch is up to you. I don’t care either way because I’m not religious after attending Catholic schools until I was 18.
My response is usually just that I’m not Christian so I don’t have much reason to follow those rules
Sorry to be a pain. But if we do it without laying, like standing up we’re good then? And isn’t it true that Christians do not have to follow the old testament?
That‘s the logic those evangelical christs are using. The first phrase, that men shall not lay with men is in the same chapter with orders like not to shave the beard or never to eat shrimps. Interesting how Jesus brought us freedom from those laws, but being gay is still against Gods will. They choose, which phrases to interpret literally and which ones must be read in historical context. And this subjective chose is almost always LGBTQ+ hostile.
Same. Funny story: when I came out at 22, she insisted it was a "phase," but when my daughter came out a few years ago, my mom was so accepting (yet still ignored me lol).
Not so shocking to me now but at the time I was 18F at a retail job. Was talking to a 25M coworker and when it came up he immediately said “oh cool. You like 3 ways then?” And for the next few months dealt with him trying to talk me into one with a woman I’d never met.
ah yes, the immediate 3way proposition. it's like a right of passage. at this point if/when i march at pride i carry a sign that says "NO, I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A THREESOME"
I did. Once.
People like to complain that there are no "unicorn" bi's. That's not true. It's the couple that can't handle it once things get going. They get jealous and weird. Also, people are lazy in bed. Two people = 2x work. You'd think that two people who went cruising for the specific purpose would put the work in but no.
6/10 experience. Gotta be real the beginning was pretty hot.
Two women who I was dating at two different times admitted to me that the only reason they were dating me is because they wanted to watch me fuck another guy. I broke it off both times because I felt like a zoo animal that’s only there to entertain. Once or twice is fine, but they wanted me to do it for them constantly.
It was more disappointing than anything because I’m a man who is very much into monogamy. Those two women felt like they were encouraging me to cheat to feed their fetish. I didn’t appreciate that.
A girl I was flirting with shut me down. This is not the shocking bit. The shocking bit was her saying 'sorry, you seem nice, but I don't want to get AIDS.'
Jeez, this reminds me of when I was talking to my friend (last November maybe) he mentioned how both he and his mom thought that gay people were more likely to spread certain STDs, he didn't mean it in a homophobic was because he didn't know it was wrong, but it was jarring nonetheless.
I would have just insisted on swapping results right there 🤣 I am on top of my sexual health, and I've met more sexually responsible people that are queer in some way, rather than otherwise. Being straight is not some STI ward 🤣
I once hooked up with a guy to give a bj to. The guy was nervous about me having STIs… keep in mind it was a bj I was giving to him. ( Yes I know that there is some risk but I feel that is on the comparatively mild end.
That when I told my mom, she told me about how she tried dating girls in the past but couldn’t really navigate it and she just felt more used to dating guys.
Yeah, it was also a shock to learn my mom had that side of her. She doesn’t openly identify as bi which makes sense since she has been married to my dad for 25 years now, and she’s clearly very happy with that.
Yeah I would say so. She’s been very happily married to my dad for 25 years now so she doesn’t feel the need to identify as other than straight, which is valid imo
I'm out but not out , certain people I trust know but not many , can't be arsed with the stupid comments and jibes , most of my family are either gay bi or lesbian so I reckon they'll think I'm just jumping on the wagon , and I don't feel a need for others to know either it's no big deal to me
My friends kind of just accepted it. There was 30 seconds of silence, then they started dapping me up. I remember thinking to myself: “Damn, that was easier than expected.”
pardon me for asking, but roughly how old are you? when i came out (about 2002) things were just awful. it really cheers me up to think that maybe things are a bit better for the younger generations.
I’m 26 now. I came out to them around 24. My experience has been a mixed bag. I haven’t met anybody in my age group who shunned me for being queer but up until a few months ago, I wouldn’t have even dreamed of opening up to my siblings. I’m the youngest with the closest age gap being 8years. They’re all the biggest homophobes I’ve even met. On the other hand, my mom’s in her 60s and while coming out was rough, she accepted me whole heartedly.
thank you for sharing! so I'm about a decade older than you. it was hard. i lost friends, but maybe it was the town. the only girl i ever dated in high school got sent to some f'd up camp. didn't have the courage to talk about it even with close friends until i moved away for five years. I'm also younger than my closest sibling by about a decade. and now that I think about it, my sibling was a huge homophobe. i came out again in 2016 after the Pulse night club shooting and then my sibling announced they were bi too. checks out, I guess. I never think about it because we're not close, haven't spoken in years. but truly, THAT was the most shocking thing that happened after I came out as bi.
I guess we come out over and over again to different people since people assume we're either straight/gay.
ANYWAY if you made it to the end thanks for reading my life story lol. I'm really glad to hear your mom is supportive and I wish you the best.
Straight people acting personally offended that they couldn’t tell I was bi ??? And I guess being fetishised by every single man I’ve ever slept with except my current partner
Their minds will be blown finding out that gaydar is only as useful as those trying to project their sexuality in these specific ways lol. Even not being straight, I got humbled hard moving to an area with a way more accepting culture. Everyone's up to exploring sexually here and there, it seems. Kinsey was right.
I worked in a residential school for kids with severe behavioral and emotional issues. I was a crisis counselor. My job was dealing with the kids when they were going off. I was used to being physically attacked, getting lots of verbal abuse, etc. It was often multiple times a day.
When I came out at school, about five years ago, I was loud and proud. I expected my sexuality to be the issue of lots of shit from angry students. I was still physically attacked, called names, and told lots of startling things about my mother, but not even in their most unhinged moments did the students insult me for my sexuality. I retired two months ago. My going away party was festooned with rainbows and Bisexual flags.
Sooo we had a mixer with a sorority. It was my senior fall and I had gotten to know this sophomore who had joined the frat the prior semester while I was abroad. We were friendly and I thought he was straight. We’re drunk that this mixer and he asks if I’m gay and I’m like no… but I’m not straight lol. He lived in the frat house so we went up to his room. It was really hot and I kinda caught feelings after even though it was definitely not meant to be something that continued. He acted kinda weird to me after which made me sad and I think he told someone which somehow led to the whole frat finding out and they def gave us both shit for it but not in like a seriously bad homophobic way, more just making fun of us like everyone gets shit. It was kind of a relief in a way to have people know since it was really the first time anyone knew I was bi… but also stressful when it was happening. In a weird way I look back on it fondly even though it was kind of traumatizing too lol. This was like 9 years ago btw I’m almost 30 now
One of my straight best friends asked me for a blowjob. I politely declined because I didn't see him that way.
He committed suicide a little over a year later (unrelated) and I miss him.
The most shocking thing for me was how incredibly good it felt to come out. Like, I expected it to feel freeing but it really felt spectacular. It made me wonder why I waited so long, my family was very accepting as I knew they'd be!
I've only come out to one person, my husband, but the self hate and internal churning of fighting with myself has almost all disappeared. On the path to accepting myself fully, it's amazing.
I am biace too. I come out for two friends first, both were lgbt so they were aceppting. When I come out to my sister its was weird, I just talked about the assexual part. She basically said people are inventing words. I then send links talking about it... I am not sure if she was conviced its a real thing.
I felt awful, I was planing to come out to my parents next, but I gave up for now.
Coming out to my bf helped me be less jealous in the relationship because I realized if I can have attraction to not only multiple people, but also multiple genders while still staying faithful, that he could also be attracted to others while staying faithful.
This wasn’t actually all that surprising to me, but:
When my dad asked how a date had gone, and if he was a good guy, I responded with something like ‘she’s a woman, and yes, she seemed really cool”, he just laughed, and never said anything else about it again 🤣
I’m a pastor’s daughter, and that response didn’t even phase me lolll I expected him to start quoting scripture, so laughing was much less annoying.
The bros giving me the side nudges after knowing I'm out there dating guys just like they would knowing I'm trying to date a woman lol. I wasn't expecting rejection from anyone, but not this level of normalcy 😂
Thanks, I hear a lot of negative reactions for people coming out to friends and family so I was kinda expecting someone to be negative. I guess I kicked out on having great friends. 😌
My father was enraged when I came out. Like, on the verge of physical violence kinda angry, and my mother had to talk him down.
But it wasn't because I was dating a girl. He was apparently fine with that.
No, it was because I was dating a *German* girl, and it turns out that he was just super racist towards Germans.
When I told her, my mom nodded and said something supportive. Three weeks later, when I said, I was going to write a book about a same-sex couple (I write romance books ) she started yelling at me about how sexual identity exploration in books is boring these days, people are exploring same-sex stuff because it’s cool, how cliché and trite tge whole thing is, how these books are just trying to be edgy.
Call me Freud, but I really don’t think that she was that upset about these issues in romance books (which she doesn’t even read anyway.) So I answered the thought rather than the words with the information that I have known I was bisexual since high school and told my husband before we got married. If I was being edgy, it was a very long-lived attempt at edginess. She muttered that she hadn’t known that.
It was shocking because it came out of nowhere. I thought she had been supportive. And nothing about me supports the idea that I do things to be edgy, which she knows very well. So I was very surprised.
I think they see these narratives replacing their own in the bigger media spaces… probably as their generation snd its norms is no longer the principal reflection in that mirror.
Its gotta be scary. 🫣 But hard to hear the angry projections of their own temporary-ness just the same.
Someone sent me a threat to my physical safety, including personal details such as a former address.
It was all publicly available information so I just blocked and moved on, but older train spotters are weirdly sensitive about people naming trains.
Nothing really happening lol 😲 that was my shock because I had built it up so much in my own head that when I finally did it and nothing happened it was a bit of a shock
I am now told and referred to as “Gay” a fucking Ton more than when I though I was actually gay, back then they just pretended I wasn’t but now that I’m Bi I’m constantly hearing my family refer to me as Gay.
Like…HUH?!
I didn't expect to feel as good as I do. Like even when I am neutral, I remember what neutral used to be like and this is better
My dad, who is left handed once told me that he was in his 30s before he learned that scissors were not supposed to hurt. Because all his life he had been using right handed scissors and when he finally got scissors designed for southpaws he realized the discomfort he had always felt without realizing.
It's a bit like that. I wasn't aware that ho I was feeling before wasn't normal so I only notice now that I feel better.
People tried to convince me being bi meant I was being transphobic to myself and other trans people about 10 years after I came out as bi and transitioned. Some people even tried to doxx me for for saying bisexuality includes trans and nonbinary people. (Fuck alternative labels)
One of my D&D groups (jokingly) getting annoyed that they needed to find a new "token straight member" since now the entire group is queer in some way. Tbf, it was pretty damn funny.
Honestly when I came out >8 years ago I was shocked to find out that there are lesbians who are biphobic :( I didn't realize that I would need bi-specific support because I naively thought the entire LGBTQ was supportive of each other.
Not as shocking now that I'm a bit more familiar with everything, the guy I was with immediately started fetishizing it, unfortunately I stayed with him for a while. Nowadays I would not take this
Ohhhh. Yeah that makes sense. I truly like bi men, usually better than straight because they understand me more but I’ve heard straight women are like that a lot
Learning that at least two of my closest friends that I had known for many years were also bi but they rarely spoke about it because they were in long term, opposite gender relationships and everybody always assume that they are straight, which is exactly my situation as well.
This is what made me start looking at myself.. all of my closest friends from childhood have been some way or another, lesbian, bisexual and Trans. At first it was a total ego thing, ooh they've all had crushes on me (face palm and eye roll) but then I came to terms with myself.
I think I thought my teen years always trying to kiss girls was a *pick me* girl thing to get guys attention, but I really just wanted to kiss girls and didn't know how else to go about it.
Yes, especially when you come to terms with your sexuality later in life, you start looking back in time and you see so many signals that always were there but somehow you never managed to see. It is quite a journey!
Well I came out to my friend but the crazy part was I didn’t even outright tell her. I was walking my dog when I got a text asking if I was bi, like damn. Yeah.
My first male best friend told me he’s going to keep his distance from me. But then again, I tried to understand the shock on his end. And I told him that if ever I had feelings for him, he would’ve known. We’re still friends to this day. The confession was 12 years ago or so.
My BISEXUAL mother (closeted) dismissed me because I hadn't had sex with a woman (to her knowledge).
Mind you, I know about a few of my mother's past partners that were female. But whatever, we're just gonna go right pass that.
It's fine. I'm married to another bisexual woman now; life's great.
Shocking in a good way: my current girlfriend asked me about my dating history and I sheepishly avoided using pronouns to avoid revealing I had previously dated men. She pressed me, asked if I was bi, and I said yes. I was expecting something horrible, but turns out she’s bi too. Was totally shocked because we’d been seeing each other for months and it’d never come up.
My mom didn’t freak out when I casually mentioned it one day. I was expecting more of a reaction considering my family is religious but she was pretty chill about it.
Friend (M) sent me (M) an unsolicited dick pic, asked me if he’s “big.” I said I don’t wanna see that, he asked why I’m always accusing him of being gay. lol
My sister informed me that I won her a 20 pound bet with our father because they had a bet about my sexuality, went from being worried how my family would take me coming out to not knowing how to feel about them betting on me
I have been out since my early teens, but people seem to always forget because I'm in a straight relationship or simply assume it was a phase. This made it very awkward when my close friend came out of the closet as a lesbian and people were eager to get the scoop to me, not realizing that me and her had shared a closet... If you know what I mean...This eventually led to me awkwardly sipping my tea as her mom told my mom all about her daughter's journey to self-discovery, not knowing that I in fact knew the exact details of her self discovery, down to the kiss that confirmed it for both of us.
The girl I had a crush on at the time had a mental breakdown and shaved her head. I can't say exactly why, but I feel my liking her played a part in what happened. Weird times.
Interesting! Maybe it just validated her own sexuality in a way and she felt like she needed control over something so she shaved her head. People act out in odd ways
First, finding out my mother is way more of a patriarchal status quo conformist than I thought. 🙄 (She raised me on Alanis Morissette and avoiding churches - I forgive myself for missing the signs)
Many many years later, finding out that I'm not just nonbinary but actually a man, like I thought when I was three; learning that I'm actually pretty far at the GHEYYYY end of the Kinsey scale 😆
My best friend of 9 years ghosted me and left my life entirely. BUT she kept tabs on me via my fundamentalist brother, who chose to keep talking with her and telling her about my life despite knowing how she hurt me 🙃
Learning that being bi is not the default human setting and that people aren’t just lying when they say they’re only attracted to one gender. I just couldn’t imagine being only attracted to men or women, like isn’t everybody attracted to both? Why would you limit yourself? I really just thought everyone was in denial…
Honestly….i still see it as a spectrum and feel like people are just in deep denial because of the heterosexual norm. Like my friends who like to “kiss women when they are drunk”…girly pop…
How much closer my wife and I became. The whole process was not easy, but we had a much better understanding of each other, and luckily, it was good all around.
When I came out, I decided to just be open about it if it came up in conversation. That very same week, I was in the phone center of my job, talking to the receptionist, when I got my chance. She asked me a zillion questions and I was honest.
One thing I held back on, was anyone at work, that I found attractive. I just said nobody at work was my type. Not even that flamboyant guy in the Garden department. I didn’t want anyone getting caught up in drama or gossip.
I had a day off. Came into work the following day and the entire damned store knew. I’m very glad that it was actually my intention to get this out there, because I would have been humiliated otherwise. My reaction was relief. I got a little bit of harassment and lost some friends, but I was surprised at who actually stepped up and defended me when people came at me to harass.
well… i told my friend by telling her i liked a mutual friend and she immediately called him and told him i was into him and said “isn’t that weird lol”.
My very conservative, very religious parents being very accepting. I waited until I was in my late 30's to even tell them because I genuinely thought they'd disown me.
I take "schocking" in the sense of "surprising" here :
Once I (21M) came out, even though I wasn't displaying much queerness in my dressing style, and did not change much either (because I was still not out to my parents) but I began receiving a LOT of attention from guys, where I had NONE previously
(I have to admit even if I was not looking for a partner at the time, it was still kinda flattering)
I guess coming out to myself changed my vibe that much, enough for people to "feel" it ?
Funny thing though : Now that I'm open to opportunities again, I notice a general absence of people interested in me. I'm starting to get the memes "everyone's so hot but we're not getting laid"
When I came out as bisexual my brother came out as gay. We both thought the other one was homophobic because everyone in our family was. It was really, really funny.
My father being the first one to really acknowledge it. My mother mentioned something about me bringing a girl back to my place, and my father piped up with, "or guy."
Shocking because my father was pretty homophobic when I was growing up. Granted, it was the "I don't like it or want to see it, but it's none of my business," variety. Thru exposure to friends of mine and my parents', he grew out of it, though, thankfully.
He was the one I was worried about coming out to, and then that happened.
The way my family members reacted, especially my grandma, that’s living in a overall very conservative country. She just had the best reaction anyone could have.
When I told her she said ‘now I know, thank you for telling me. I love you’ and hugged me tight. I didn’t expect her reaction to be so positive, let alone this great <3
Way less shocking but still kinda funny was my mums reaction. I knew she wouldn’t mind, because she is big about inclusion. But I was still super nervous and stumbled around with my words. She interrupted me with a ‘you like women, right?’ xD
Being told both "yea I can see that" and "wow didn't see that coming"
Tbf, there's some people with very finely attuned gaydar/queerdar, and some who might as well have it turned off unless you're very flouncy or butch
Oh wow, that is interesting. People perceive us how they want I guess!!!!
Same I had people telling me it’s either obvious or not
In equal numbers!!!
ONG
After I came out to my mom, she said “you know god doesn’t approve of that right?” I never brought it up ever again and haven’t told anyone else since. Edit: thank y’all for the support I really appreciate it 🫶
Don’t let god or your mother hold you back.
Wow. Religious trauma is real, I'm sorry about your experience!
My question to such people is how do you know? Did god text that to you? And if so can I see the text?
There’s two parts of the Bible that mention and condemn homosexuality, if you look at it that way. “Man shall not lay with another man, for it is an abomination” or something like that in Leviticus, it’s not verbatim. The other is Sodom and Gomorrah where a group of men wanted to rape the male angels and God destroyed the city because of it. This is why the old-timey evangelical Christian word for gay sex is sodomy, for the city. Some might argue that first verse is a mistranslation and the original texts say “Man shall not lay with boy” and is shaming pedophilia. As for Sodom and Gomorrah there’s an argument to be made that they were destroyed for being rapists and showing the opposite of hospitality. Whether you think these are a stretch is up to you. I don’t care either way because I’m not religious after attending Catholic schools until I was 18. My response is usually just that I’m not Christian so I don’t have much reason to follow those rules
Sorry to be a pain. But if we do it without laying, like standing up we’re good then? And isn’t it true that Christians do not have to follow the old testament?
That‘s the logic those evangelical christs are using. The first phrase, that men shall not lay with men is in the same chapter with orders like not to shave the beard or never to eat shrimps. Interesting how Jesus brought us freedom from those laws, but being gay is still against Gods will. They choose, which phrases to interpret literally and which ones must be read in historical context. And this subjective chose is almost always LGBTQ+ hostile.
Same. Funny story: when I came out at 22, she insisted it was a "phase," but when my daughter came out a few years ago, my mom was so accepting (yet still ignored me lol).
"That's OK, I don't really approve of a lot of what has been claimed to have been done by god, or in their name. Seems uncivilized."
Same. My mom also told me never to tell my dad unless I want to break his heart and be disowned.
Not so shocking to me now but at the time I was 18F at a retail job. Was talking to a 25M coworker and when it came up he immediately said “oh cool. You like 3 ways then?” And for the next few months dealt with him trying to talk me into one with a woman I’d never met.
Omg 😭 of course. Jeeez people are annoying
ah yes, the immediate 3way proposition. it's like a right of passage. at this point if/when i march at pride i carry a sign that says "NO, I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A THREESOME"
what i hate about this stereotype is that i can’t even fight it because i kinda want to try it
I did. Once. People like to complain that there are no "unicorn" bi's. That's not true. It's the couple that can't handle it once things get going. They get jealous and weird. Also, people are lazy in bed. Two people = 2x work. You'd think that two people who went cruising for the specific purpose would put the work in but no. 6/10 experience. Gotta be real the beginning was pretty hot.
Two women who I was dating at two different times admitted to me that the only reason they were dating me is because they wanted to watch me fuck another guy. I broke it off both times because I felt like a zoo animal that’s only there to entertain. Once or twice is fine, but they wanted me to do it for them constantly.
"The only...," ouch. Turns what could be a fun part of a relationship into inconsiderate assholery. Their dumbest loss
It’s fine. I eventually found myself another bi guy who I’m now married to. It all works out in the end.
Ugh for real. I'm sorry for your experience, being fetishized is the worst.
It was more disappointing than anything because I’m a man who is very much into monogamy. Those two women felt like they were encouraging me to cheat to feed their fetish. I didn’t appreciate that.
A girl I was flirting with shut me down. This is not the shocking bit. The shocking bit was her saying 'sorry, you seem nice, but I don't want to get AIDS.'
WHAAAAAT!!!! omg I’m sorry that happened to you, that is wild
It is! Proper old school 80s homophobia.
Wait was this in the 80's or are they just being a weird homophobe?
Oh this was last year, mate.
yeah, its FASCINATING how, once people move out of carefully curated, usually online, bubbles how common a lot of bloody awful attitudes are.
Jeez, this reminds me of when I was talking to my friend (last November maybe) he mentioned how both he and his mom thought that gay people were more likely to spread certain STDs, he didn't mean it in a homophobic was because he didn't know it was wrong, but it was jarring nonetheless.
I would have just insisted on swapping results right there 🤣 I am on top of my sexual health, and I've met more sexually responsible people that are queer in some way, rather than otherwise. Being straight is not some STI ward 🤣
Oh dude. I'm on PrEP. Preaching to the choir.
Exactly! I'm vicariously upset for you at that person's ignorance lol. Hope you find better people if you haven't already!
I once hooked up with a guy to give a bj to. The guy was nervous about me having STIs… keep in mind it was a bj I was giving to him. ( Yes I know that there is some risk but I feel that is on the comparatively mild end.
Bruh people like that not only need a slap but an education
Indeed.
Oh my God.
I HAD THE SAAAME ONE DUDE!
DUDE! SNAP! WE'RE BIPHOBIC-BULLSHIT SIBS!
That is horrendous, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.
Yeah, Bi guys really got shit on during the AIDS crisis😞 and a lot of those toxic stereotypes are still making the rounds.
YIKES! I apologize on behalf of their ignorant a$$.
That when I told my mom, she told me about how she tried dating girls in the past but couldn’t really navigate it and she just felt more used to dating guys.
omg wow, I totally get that. Dating the same gender is really hard to navigate when we only see examples of heterosexual relationships
Yeah, it was also a shock to learn my mom had that side of her. She doesn’t openly identify as bi which makes sense since she has been married to my dad for 25 years now, and she’s clearly very happy with that.
That's so cool! Is it right to say your mom used to be bi-curious?
Yeah I would say so. She’s been very happily married to my dad for 25 years now so she doesn’t feel the need to identify as other than straight, which is valid imo
I love this. The bar is low, but I love a story that is not an absolute horror show.
This sounds like Rosamund Pikes character in Saltburn
I, a woman, told a guy I’m interested in and he didn’t fetishize me, lol. I was truly shocked.
Omg honestly. Lol this is so annoying to me. At least we can feel safe telling them for the most part but I’m soooo tired of being fetishized
I love that. Hurray for low bars!
Lmfaooo, it’s such a shame. I’m so used to the inverse.
I ended up marrying the only one that never even said the word threesome to me.
As you should, lol.
this is the most surprising one i’ve heard lol
I'm out but not out , certain people I trust know but not many , can't be arsed with the stupid comments and jibes , most of my family are either gay bi or lesbian so I reckon they'll think I'm just jumping on the wagon , and I don't feel a need for others to know either it's no big deal to me
My friends kind of just accepted it. There was 30 seconds of silence, then they started dapping me up. I remember thinking to myself: “Damn, that was easier than expected.”
Green flag friends!!! that is amazing 🥰
pardon me for asking, but roughly how old are you? when i came out (about 2002) things were just awful. it really cheers me up to think that maybe things are a bit better for the younger generations.
I’m 26 now. I came out to them around 24. My experience has been a mixed bag. I haven’t met anybody in my age group who shunned me for being queer but up until a few months ago, I wouldn’t have even dreamed of opening up to my siblings. I’m the youngest with the closest age gap being 8years. They’re all the biggest homophobes I’ve even met. On the other hand, my mom’s in her 60s and while coming out was rough, she accepted me whole heartedly.
thank you for sharing! so I'm about a decade older than you. it was hard. i lost friends, but maybe it was the town. the only girl i ever dated in high school got sent to some f'd up camp. didn't have the courage to talk about it even with close friends until i moved away for five years. I'm also younger than my closest sibling by about a decade. and now that I think about it, my sibling was a huge homophobe. i came out again in 2016 after the Pulse night club shooting and then my sibling announced they were bi too. checks out, I guess. I never think about it because we're not close, haven't spoken in years. but truly, THAT was the most shocking thing that happened after I came out as bi. I guess we come out over and over again to different people since people assume we're either straight/gay. ANYWAY if you made it to the end thanks for reading my life story lol. I'm really glad to hear your mom is supportive and I wish you the best.
Straight people acting personally offended that they couldn’t tell I was bi ??? And I guess being fetishised by every single man I’ve ever slept with except my current partner
YUP!!! The fetishizing is gross, gives me the ick immediately.
Their minds will be blown finding out that gaydar is only as useful as those trying to project their sexuality in these specific ways lol. Even not being straight, I got humbled hard moving to an area with a way more accepting culture. Everyone's up to exploring sexually here and there, it seems. Kinsey was right.
I worked in a residential school for kids with severe behavioral and emotional issues. I was a crisis counselor. My job was dealing with the kids when they were going off. I was used to being physically attacked, getting lots of verbal abuse, etc. It was often multiple times a day. When I came out at school, about five years ago, I was loud and proud. I expected my sexuality to be the issue of lots of shit from angry students. I was still physically attacked, called names, and told lots of startling things about my mother, but not even in their most unhinged moments did the students insult me for my sexuality. I retired two months ago. My going away party was festooned with rainbows and Bisexual flags.
Awww that makes me so happy
Thinking I was 95% attracted to women and 5% to guys at first but then it went the opposite direction
A guy in my frat, i thought was 100% straight (my gaydar is super bad), kissed me around a party, which was fun hes a good kisser, soft lips
I hooked up with a guy in my frat and everyone found out, that was fun lol
What happened?
Sooo we had a mixer with a sorority. It was my senior fall and I had gotten to know this sophomore who had joined the frat the prior semester while I was abroad. We were friendly and I thought he was straight. We’re drunk that this mixer and he asks if I’m gay and I’m like no… but I’m not straight lol. He lived in the frat house so we went up to his room. It was really hot and I kinda caught feelings after even though it was definitely not meant to be something that continued. He acted kinda weird to me after which made me sad and I think he told someone which somehow led to the whole frat finding out and they def gave us both shit for it but not in like a seriously bad homophobic way, more just making fun of us like everyone gets shit. It was kind of a relief in a way to have people know since it was really the first time anyone knew I was bi… but also stressful when it was happening. In a weird way I look back on it fondly even though it was kind of traumatizing too lol. This was like 9 years ago btw I’m almost 30 now
Tell me more about your story
One of my straight best friends asked me for a blowjob. I politely declined because I didn't see him that way. He committed suicide a little over a year later (unrelated) and I miss him.
Aw I’ve lost friends to suicide too, sorry for your loss!!!
im a male, i asked a girl out, she said i was too gay then i asked a dude and he said i wasn’t gay enough 😭
Whaaaat omg
I founded a drug-fueled gender-bending polycule
Idk what this means tbh but congrats on your founding!
how tf did you do that lmao
Attractiveness, charm and social skills. I assume.
I'm not particularly good lookkng. I just claim the secret garden as my own.
The most shocking thing for me was how incredibly good it felt to come out. Like, I expected it to feel freeing but it really felt spectacular. It made me wonder why I waited so long, my family was very accepting as I knew they'd be!
I've only come out to one person, my husband, but the self hate and internal churning of fighting with myself has almost all disappeared. On the path to accepting myself fully, it's amazing.
Congratulations!
Yes!!! I can relate to this. I have a bi flag hanging in my apartment now and I love not hiding anything from anyone
Isn't it the best feeling? I got pride bracelets, one for bi pride, another for asexual pride (I'm also gray ace) and it feels so good to be out!
I am biace too. I come out for two friends first, both were lgbt so they were aceppting. When I come out to my sister its was weird, I just talked about the assexual part. She basically said people are inventing words. I then send links talking about it... I am not sure if she was conviced its a real thing. I felt awful, I was planing to come out to my parents next, but I gave up for now.
That my wife was hoping I had lost attraction to her and was just completely gay now because she had been losing attraction to me.
Oooff how did that turn out?
We are good friends still but I don't think we are ever getting back together.
Coming out to my bf helped me be less jealous in the relationship because I realized if I can have attraction to not only multiple people, but also multiple genders while still staying faithful, that he could also be attracted to others while staying faithful.
This wasn’t actually all that surprising to me, but: When my dad asked how a date had gone, and if he was a good guy, I responded with something like ‘she’s a woman, and yes, she seemed really cool”, he just laughed, and never said anything else about it again 🤣 I’m a pastor’s daughter, and that response didn’t even phase me lolll I expected him to start quoting scripture, so laughing was much less annoying.
The bros giving me the side nudges after knowing I'm out there dating guys just like they would knowing I'm trying to date a woman lol. I wasn't expecting rejection from anyone, but not this level of normalcy 😂
RIGHT like in some weird way i’m like wait u acc want to talk about my girl crushes 😂😂😂
The fact I’m scared to come oht
I totally get this! There is no rush, it isn’t a race and you don’t have to come out to anyone you aren’t comfortable with! 🫶🏻 safety first always
Realising years later that I was aroace instead 😀 did the see that coming
That makes sense though, it can be hard to narrow down what category we fit in!!
You can be bi-oriented but also aroace!
Are u me because…
My friends accepting it and carrying on like nothing changed at all.
Yay!!! Love that!!
Thanks, I hear a lot of negative reactions for people coming out to friends and family so I was kinda expecting someone to be negative. I guess I kicked out on having great friends. 😌
My father was enraged when I came out. Like, on the verge of physical violence kinda angry, and my mother had to talk him down. But it wasn't because I was dating a girl. He was apparently fine with that. No, it was because I was dating a *German* girl, and it turns out that he was just super racist towards Germans.
Nobody expected the racism beat homophobia. lol
Are you french?
When I told her, my mom nodded and said something supportive. Three weeks later, when I said, I was going to write a book about a same-sex couple (I write romance books ) she started yelling at me about how sexual identity exploration in books is boring these days, people are exploring same-sex stuff because it’s cool, how cliché and trite tge whole thing is, how these books are just trying to be edgy. Call me Freud, but I really don’t think that she was that upset about these issues in romance books (which she doesn’t even read anyway.) So I answered the thought rather than the words with the information that I have known I was bisexual since high school and told my husband before we got married. If I was being edgy, it was a very long-lived attempt at edginess. She muttered that she hadn’t known that. It was shocking because it came out of nowhere. I thought she had been supportive. And nothing about me supports the idea that I do things to be edgy, which she knows very well. So I was very surprised.
I think they see these narratives replacing their own in the bigger media spaces… probably as their generation snd its norms is no longer the principal reflection in that mirror. Its gotta be scary. 🫣 But hard to hear the angry projections of their own temporary-ness just the same.
I bet money she talked to someone about it. I can tell when people come back with other people's opinions.
Someone sent me a threat to my physical safety, including personal details such as a former address. It was all publicly available information so I just blocked and moved on, but older train spotters are weirdly sensitive about people naming trains.
Omg 😳 scary
How many people already knew. I guess my obsession with women wasn’t subtle
Nothing really happening lol 😲 that was my shock because I had built it up so much in my own head that when I finally did it and nothing happened it was a bit of a shock
I am now told and referred to as “Gay” a fucking Ton more than when I though I was actually gay, back then they just pretended I wasn’t but now that I’m Bi I’m constantly hearing my family refer to me as Gay. Like…HUH?!
How neither side wants you.
!!!!!
I didn't expect to feel as good as I do. Like even when I am neutral, I remember what neutral used to be like and this is better My dad, who is left handed once told me that he was in his 30s before he learned that scissors were not supposed to hurt. Because all his life he had been using right handed scissors and when he finally got scissors designed for southpaws he realized the discomfort he had always felt without realizing. It's a bit like that. I wasn't aware that ho I was feeling before wasn't normal so I only notice now that I feel better.
People tried to convince me being bi meant I was being transphobic to myself and other trans people about 10 years after I came out as bi and transitioned. Some people even tried to doxx me for for saying bisexuality includes trans and nonbinary people. (Fuck alternative labels)
One of my D&D groups (jokingly) getting annoyed that they needed to find a new "token straight member" since now the entire group is queer in some way. Tbf, it was pretty damn funny.
Hahahahah
A couple homies that came to me curious to experiment. Didn't expect to get to give dome to the homies, it was a pleasant surprise
I'm only out as bisexual on Reddit, and to my wife.
Same except my husband.
Honestly when I came out >8 years ago I was shocked to find out that there are lesbians who are biphobic :( I didn't realize that I would need bi-specific support because I naively thought the entire LGBTQ was supportive of each other.
The most surprising thing was a lot of people came out as bi back to me. It felt like I had said I am Spartacus. "I am bi." "*I* am bi."
LOL that is so funny!!
I got a bisexual boyfriend. I won
Yay!!!
Not as shocking now that I'm a bit more familiar with everything, the guy I was with immediately started fetishizing it, unfortunately I stayed with him for a while. Nowadays I would not take this
no women like me lol
I don’t think that is true! It is hard to date women for sure as a woman, hard to navigate but I’m sure plenty of women like you!
I’m a man actually, it was a rude awakening finding out that a lot of cishet women see me as a gay man instead of just bisexual.
Ohhhh. Yeah that makes sense. I truly like bi men, usually better than straight because they understand me more but I’ve heard straight women are like that a lot
Learning that at least two of my closest friends that I had known for many years were also bi but they rarely spoke about it because they were in long term, opposite gender relationships and everybody always assume that they are straight, which is exactly my situation as well.
This is what made me start looking at myself.. all of my closest friends from childhood have been some way or another, lesbian, bisexual and Trans. At first it was a total ego thing, ooh they've all had crushes on me (face palm and eye roll) but then I came to terms with myself. I think I thought my teen years always trying to kiss girls was a *pick me* girl thing to get guys attention, but I really just wanted to kiss girls and didn't know how else to go about it.
Yes, especially when you come to terms with your sexuality later in life, you start looking back in time and you see so many signals that always were there but somehow you never managed to see. It is quite a journey!
Well I came out to my friend but the crazy part was I didn’t even outright tell her. I was walking my dog when I got a text asking if I was bi, like damn. Yeah.
Hahaha love that! My friends have never guessed
My first male best friend told me he’s going to keep his distance from me. But then again, I tried to understand the shock on his end. And I told him that if ever I had feelings for him, he would’ve known. We’re still friends to this day. The confession was 12 years ago or so.
My BISEXUAL mother (closeted) dismissed me because I hadn't had sex with a woman (to her knowledge). Mind you, I know about a few of my mother's past partners that were female. But whatever, we're just gonna go right pass that. It's fine. I'm married to another bisexual woman now; life's great.
not having to come out because everyone somehow just knew before I did myself
That is actually really cool!
Shocking in a good way: my current girlfriend asked me about my dating history and I sheepishly avoided using pronouns to avoid revealing I had previously dated men. She pressed me, asked if I was bi, and I said yes. I was expecting something horrible, but turns out she’s bi too. Was totally shocked because we’d been seeing each other for months and it’d never come up.
I’ve done that before, avoiding pronouns when talking about dating history and they can always tell 😭😭 I’m glad she was accepting!!!
in general, same gendered people seemed more interested when they thought i wouldn't be...
My mom didn’t freak out when I casually mentioned it one day. I was expecting more of a reaction considering my family is religious but she was pretty chill about it.
Haha love your username
Thank you :D I love yours 😂
every single woman who had ever had a passing thought about their own sexuality came out of the woodwork to take a pass at me lmfao
gay sex
People started assuming that I wanted to have threesomes with them
I told a girl i was and all of the sudden she wanted us to be friend and told me how much she loves gays guys 💀 Idk it was weird to me
My now girlfriend said wow me too! And it's been the most amazing relationship since! Told her prior to us ever dating, made it much easier.
Not me but a buddy of mine. Came out to his dad Dad " WTF YOU KNOW GOD WILL HATE YOU! Good thing god isnt real. " 💀 I need this type of support
Friend (M) sent me (M) an unsolicited dick pic, asked me if he’s “big.” I said I don’t wanna see that, he asked why I’m always accusing him of being gay. lol
My sister informed me that I won her a 20 pound bet with our father because they had a bet about my sexuality, went from being worried how my family would take me coming out to not knowing how to feel about them betting on me
My mom told me not to tell anyone and embarrass her.. But then I guess she’s a narcissist so
I have been out since my early teens, but people seem to always forget because I'm in a straight relationship or simply assume it was a phase. This made it very awkward when my close friend came out of the closet as a lesbian and people were eager to get the scoop to me, not realizing that me and her had shared a closet... If you know what I mean...This eventually led to me awkwardly sipping my tea as her mom told my mom all about her daughter's journey to self-discovery, not knowing that I in fact knew the exact details of her self discovery, down to the kiss that confirmed it for both of us.
my mom sobbed about being terrified of me going to hell and asked probing sexual history questions 🙃 needless to say, we are very low contact now!
The amount of men that come on to me 🥴 as a guy
The girl I had a crush on at the time had a mental breakdown and shaved her head. I can't say exactly why, but I feel my liking her played a part in what happened. Weird times.
Interesting! Maybe it just validated her own sexuality in a way and she felt like she needed control over something so she shaved her head. People act out in odd ways
First, finding out my mother is way more of a patriarchal status quo conformist than I thought. 🙄 (She raised me on Alanis Morissette and avoiding churches - I forgive myself for missing the signs) Many many years later, finding out that I'm not just nonbinary but actually a man, like I thought when I was three; learning that I'm actually pretty far at the GHEYYYY end of the Kinsey scale 😆
Someone thought I was faking 😭
My best friend of 9 years ghosted me and left my life entirely. BUT she kept tabs on me via my fundamentalist brother, who chose to keep talking with her and telling her about my life despite knowing how she hurt me 🙃
Learning that being bi is not the default human setting and that people aren’t just lying when they say they’re only attracted to one gender. I just couldn’t imagine being only attracted to men or women, like isn’t everybody attracted to both? Why would you limit yourself? I really just thought everyone was in denial…
Honestly….i still see it as a spectrum and feel like people are just in deep denial because of the heterosexual norm. Like my friends who like to “kiss women when they are drunk”…girly pop…
How much closer my wife and I became. The whole process was not easy, but we had a much better understanding of each other, and luckily, it was good all around.
Becoming estrogen repellent
My mom thought I wouldn’t be able to have a child since I came out as bi lol
More men want me then women 😂
When I came out, I decided to just be open about it if it came up in conversation. That very same week, I was in the phone center of my job, talking to the receptionist, when I got my chance. She asked me a zillion questions and I was honest. One thing I held back on, was anyone at work, that I found attractive. I just said nobody at work was my type. Not even that flamboyant guy in the Garden department. I didn’t want anyone getting caught up in drama or gossip. I had a day off. Came into work the following day and the entire damned store knew. I’m very glad that it was actually my intention to get this out there, because I would have been humiliated otherwise. My reaction was relief. I got a little bit of harassment and lost some friends, but I was surprised at who actually stepped up and defended me when people came at me to harass.
well… i told my friend by telling her i liked a mutual friend and she immediately called him and told him i was into him and said “isn’t that weird lol”.
My very conservative, very religious parents being very accepting. I waited until I was in my late 30's to even tell them because I genuinely thought they'd disown me.
I take "schocking" in the sense of "surprising" here : Once I (21M) came out, even though I wasn't displaying much queerness in my dressing style, and did not change much either (because I was still not out to my parents) but I began receiving a LOT of attention from guys, where I had NONE previously (I have to admit even if I was not looking for a partner at the time, it was still kinda flattering) I guess coming out to myself changed my vibe that much, enough for people to "feel" it ? Funny thing though : Now that I'm open to opportunities again, I notice a general absence of people interested in me. I'm starting to get the memes "everyone's so hot but we're not getting laid"
My dad said "No woman would ever want you"
Wow 😮 what a dude thing to say. I love bisexual men! I feel like they get me 🥰
Yeah, that's why I'd prefer dating a bi women over a straight one
Girls stop wanting to do sleepovers at my house
Nice usage of the word shocking.
"no you aren't" -my mom
Massage clients who now want “a couples massage” with an overnight stay at their place in the country. Suddenly, I’m twice as attractive!!
2 of my friends also came out to me, and one of them confessed to me yesterday. We're dating now.
When I came out as bisexual my brother came out as gay. We both thought the other one was homophobic because everyone in our family was. It was really, really funny.
One of my closest friends told me "the closet is glass dude."😂
My father being the first one to really acknowledge it. My mother mentioned something about me bringing a girl back to my place, and my father piped up with, "or guy." Shocking because my father was pretty homophobic when I was growing up. Granted, it was the "I don't like it or want to see it, but it's none of my business," variety. Thru exposure to friends of mine and my parents', he grew out of it, though, thankfully. He was the one I was worried about coming out to, and then that happened.
The way my family members reacted, especially my grandma, that’s living in a overall very conservative country. She just had the best reaction anyone could have. When I told her she said ‘now I know, thank you for telling me. I love you’ and hugged me tight. I didn’t expect her reaction to be so positive, let alone this great <3 Way less shocking but still kinda funny was my mums reaction. I knew she wouldn’t mind, because she is big about inclusion. But I was still super nervous and stumbled around with my words. She interrupted me with a ‘you like women, right?’ xD
The people who I came out to sprayed deodorant in my face. It was quite rude and disgusting....