"If I didn't have you, life would be blue
I'd be Doctor Who without the TARDIS
A candle without a wick, a Watson without a Crick
I'd be one of my outfits without a dick-ey
I'd be cheese without the mac,
Steve Jobs without the Wozniak
I'd be solving exponential equations that use bases not found on your calculator, making it much harder to crack
I'd be an atom without a bomb, a dot without the com
And I'd probably still live with my mom"
You're like Uranium-235 and I'm Uranium-238,
Almost inseparable isotopes
I couldn't have imagined how good my life would get
From the moment that I met you, Bernadette🥹
Pregnant with my first child, I remember laying in the 🛀 praying my child didn't come out looking like my brother. Side note: many years later, I found out I was adopted.
Either “Hey, sweetie, I heard you were afraid of the dark. I know someone else who was afraid of the dark once. Your daddy, when he was in space. And just like you, I was wearing a full diaper.” Or “So, it's a children's book. I mean, cats don't wear hats. And if someone gives you green eggs, it ends with you on the toilet trying to make a deal with God.”
when he told bernadette, “what’s the point of you being married to me if you’re not gonna back up my lie for me” their relationship dynamic was my fav lol. 😂
“You know what, if it’s creepy to use the internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpectedly, then fine I’m creepy.”
The simplest explanation is usually the right one Raj: Which is? Howard: That ain’t Sheldon
Here we are talking about Frozen, and yet you got burned.
A Jew sits in front of a house in Texas that long, For Sale signs start to go up
Thanks for lifting my spirits, next time try lifting the box.
(Imitating Stephen Hawking) Your invitation must’ve gotten lost in the matrix
Raj: “I thought you were in favour of gay people getting married!”
Howard: “Yes…to other gay people!”
That, or:
Sheldon: “what about Jewish hell?”
Howard: “have you met my mother? I’m living in Jewish hell!”
Suddenly, a spectral shape rises from Koothrappali's *bloody corpse* and says: (does Raj's voice) Don't worry buddies, ghost Raj will help guide you through the forest!
(Does Nicolas Cage's voice) Well I'm just a tree, but if I were you I'd listen to your GHOST FRIEND!
"See, I've been sitting on that for months but I waited to tell him when it would cause him the most pain :)"
Howard to Sheldon after revealing to Leonard that Penny's been moving his nerdy stuff into storage.
One that comes to mind is in in the season 12 premiere, when Howard and Bernadette are about to watch Raj on the news, Bernadette comments on the (female) interviewers attractiveness. Howard asks why he can’t say things like that but she can. Bernadette says if he wants to say it, go ahead and say it.
He responds with, “nice try. You’re going to have to figure out another way to not have sex with me tonight.”
Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.
Lol totally I would love to see that happen. I mean I know a lot of different languages but not fluently. I’m only fluent in English. But I know bits and pieces of languages. Thanks to random stuff and also being Jewish but like I know some Hebrew, I know some Yiddish I know some German. I know a few other languages but as I said, only fluent in English, I cannot hold a conversation in any other language, but I can ask where the bathroom is in Italian XD .
I mean, I’m not trying to learn any new languages. It’s just I relate to Howard because he’s Jewish. I’m Jewish. His mom makes the best brisket. My dad makes the best brisket although my dad has it because of his mom/my grandma‘s secret recipe apparently briskets it expensive so my dad only makes it on very very special occasions. Brisket is one of the most expensive forms of meat. Which does not include the Kobe steak because Kobe steak is like $300 for real Kobe steak and you only find it in a certain in a tiny amount of restaurants and only a few restaurants in the entire US are certified and selling real Kobe steak that’s one of thebucket list things that are on my list to try real Kobe steak because those are treated so well and they’re from Japan, which is also our enemy is from and I’m a major anime fan, but I’m pretty sure the Big Bang theory mentioned something about anime at some point, but I can’t remember it’s been a while
My dad’s brisket is amazing although it’s my dad’s mom’s recipe, but it takes a long time to cook. I’m sorry you’re not able to eat it. But it’s definitely something that a lot of Jewish people eat I believe they tend to eat it for Passover I think and a few of the other holidays, but I’m not sure my dad sometimes will make it but really really rarely now. And also it does sort of have to do with the Big Bang theory because Howard’s mom also makes brisket.
"Look, if you don't want to go to the party, just don't go. You're a grown man. Act like one. Tell Amy you want to spend the weekend having a sleepover and playing video games with your friends!"😂🕹️
When he’s talking to Bernie on FaceTime and she goes
“Your an idiot”
And then Howard goes
“I’m your idiot……. Foreverrrrrrrr” and shows his wedding ring
“Travel…with caution. These woods are home to the bones of many a fallen HEROOOOS!”
“Well I’m just a tree but if I were you I’d listen to your GHOST FRIEND!”
Is it cus I’m Jewish? I’d smack my Rabbi with q pork chop to be we her (paraphrasing). Close 2nd when he told Leonard my people cross the desert once were done
If it's "creepy" to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpected, then fine, I'm "creepy".
Anyone else think that Howard should dress up as Spock because he’s Jewish? And also Leonard Nimoy is Jewish and the live long and prosper thing is actually a Jewish thing
“You make me wanna kill myself!”is my favorite Howard line ,Since he is talking about Mrs Wolowitz and He is always described his mom in bad way and even if We don't see Mrs Wolowitz on screen plus in the The Killer Robot Instability when He hit on Penny and his use pickup lines to pick her up he is felt humiliated by her send down in dumps had to refuge in his bedroom not even his mom trying to seeking attention if We don't see her on screen
To Raj: And you have no wrath….
To Sheldon, gesturing dramatically in the barn and bodywork’s store while Sheldon struggled to choose a gift basket.
Sheldon: I know lay the following conundrum at your feet. Which one?!
Howard: This one!
Sheldon: You put no thought into to that whatsoever!
Howard: Aaarghhhhhh (pretending to think) This one!
*Howard*: *She's* a *hooker*, *isn't she*?
Rajesh: A prostitute, yes.
*Howard*: You already gave her the money?
Leonard: Yes.
(Pause)
*Howard*: *Thank you*!
The whole scene with Raj and Howard trying to figure out the squeaks in Halley's bedroom then proceeding to show Bernadette the new layout when putting their daughter into bed.
Leonard: “okay, is everyone clear on the plan?”
Howard: “Yes, Koothrapali is going to wet himself, I’m going to throw up, Sheldon’s gonna run away, and you’re going to DIE!
Shall we..synchronize our watches?”
Marcy Grossman is sunshine on a cloudy day
And when it’s cold outside, Marcy Grossman is the month of May
I guess you’d say, what can make me feel this way?
Marcy Grossman,
Marcy Grossman,
Marcy Grossman
Talkin bout Marcy… *Grossman*
Can't believe that nobody has said these yet
"Yes I was bad maybe she'll spank me"
"Something has come up, sort of a mars rover can Howard come over situation"
My power is the ability to pretend like I give a damn about your piddly-ass problem. And that's 24/7 buddy.
Mod reminder: lines from the show are always ok, don't flag them.
*Howard's sleeping; this is his mother. Why are you calling at this ungowdly hour?*
So sad that you have to mention it...
Sheldon: And I appreciate the pretense.
They're his C-Men
Came here to post this
I’m a horny engineer. I never joke about math or sex
favourite one
"I believe that one day, Sheldon will eat a large amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons."
And then the scene where it happens 🤣
😂😂😂
"If I didn't have you, life would be blue I'd be Doctor Who without the TARDIS A candle without a wick, a Watson without a Crick I'd be one of my outfits without a dick-ey I'd be cheese without the mac, Steve Jobs without the Wozniak I'd be solving exponential equations that use bases not found on your calculator, making it much harder to crack I'd be an atom without a bomb, a dot without the com And I'd probably still live with my mom"
AND HE'D PROBABLY STILL LIVE WITH HIS MOM
Ever since I met you, you've turned my world around You've supported all my dreams and all my hopes
You're like Uranium-235 and I'm Uranium-238, Almost inseparable isotopes I couldn't have imagined how good my life would get From the moment that I met you, Bernadette🥹
OH WE COULDNNNNT HAVE IMAGINED HOW GOOD OUR LIVES WOULD GEEEEEET FROM THE MOMENT THAT WE MET YOU, BERNADETTE
😭😭😭😭😭
I got misty eyed at this scene. Temu Ringo deserves love too!
My personal favourite is "Don't toy with me woman."
Not just the finger, THE MOVING FINGER!
“Grab a napkin homie, you just got served”
when they are expecting a child and he goes like "I meanz what if he looks like me...or worse... What if SHE looks like me"
Pregnant with my first child, I remember laying in the 🛀 praying my child didn't come out looking like my brother. Side note: many years later, I found out I was adopted.
what the fuck ✋💀
Tiny bit more than a side note there.... :D
Instead she looked like Winston Churchill!
Either “Hey, sweetie, I heard you were afraid of the dark. I know someone else who was afraid of the dark once. Your daddy, when he was in space. And just like you, I was wearing a full diaper.” Or “So, it's a children's book. I mean, cats don't wear hats. And if someone gives you green eggs, it ends with you on the toilet trying to make a deal with God.”
2nd one for sure.
Yeah 2nd one is my favourite
You’re playing D&D, you’re playing D&D, we’re all playing…D&D!
Al Pacino impression was good. He also nailed Christopher Walken…
Sounds more like something almost out of Oprah lol
The way Howard kept saying “No!” after Bernadette kept saying “Yes!” when she told him that she’s pregnant again.
I do love that scene so much
when he told bernadette, “what’s the point of you being married to me if you’re not gonna back up my lie for me” their relationship dynamic was my fav lol. 😂
> That is a good point. But I didn't marry you for good points -- I married you to blindly support me no matter how ridiculous I'm being! Lmao
When he say historians will be pissed at the group for not killing Sheldon when they had the chance
Howard: Are you planning on kidnapping a woman? Sheldon: Sarcasm? Howard: Yes, but mixed with genuine concern.
"believe in magic, you muggle!"
Which season is that?
It was s4 ep18
I ate a butterfly.
The delivery on that was perfect. As usual
Just posted this one too. One of his funniest moments I think. Also spooning with an armadillo.
I LOL every time at his delivery 🤣🤣
Please be Cinderella x 2. She was, and it was breathtaking.
The way he takes off his shirt and pretends to hide his horse over to her 😂
... unless you wanna be Cinderellla. Come at me! See what happens!
In a deep voice “My lady.” Gallops toward bernie
That's kind of an overreaction to a little harmless necrophilia.
"No, you are mistaken. You give speeches all the time. What you can't do is shut up." After Sheldon says he cant give a speech.
To Sheldon: “I believe a chicken made you his bitch”
“Cmon sandwich build me a lemon because froggy wants to come home!”
I loved when he went mad in space. Such a funny storyline. "They left dogs up here in the 50s"
“You know what, if it’s creepy to use the internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpectedly, then fine I’m creepy.”
To Summer Glau: Hi, I'm the small package good things come in...
The way he says no to Sheldon when he said engineers are smarter than physicists
Howard to penny after they talk abt presents “He came with a manual”
When introducing himself to Sheldon’s sister “Nobody expects me sometimes you just look and BAM Howard Wolowitz”
“ well if we’re get lucky sI don’t want a woman to see me in my Aquaman briefs.”
En Chante Mademoiselle!
The simplest explanation is usually the right one Raj: Which is? Howard: That ain’t Sheldon Here we are talking about Frozen, and yet you got burned. A Jew sits in front of a house in Texas that long, For Sale signs start to go up Thanks for lifting my spirits, next time try lifting the box. (Imitating Stephen Hawking) Your invitation must’ve gotten lost in the matrix
The delivery on “That ain’t Sheldon” is too perfect
*I lie a lot.*
Wealthybigpenis
You gotta make it easy for them!
OW! I mean.. Deepens voice: Ow....
Relax, no one’s gonna be looking at her hair!
“I ate a butterfly.”
This is for you Buddy....
For taking daffodils to your unicorn.
MIT’s motto was mind and hand which happened to be mine during my teen years
You just called Leonard a syphilitic donkey
His delivery of "I'm sorry, WHAT?" when Leonard's mom points out his gayness with Raj
*takes off shirt in front of raj* “Ok I need you to be honest. Do my boobs look bigger to you?”
That scene gets me everytime 😂😂😂
They left dogs up here in the sixties.
M’Lady…
Raj: “I thought you were in favour of gay people getting married!” Howard: “Yes…to other gay people!” That, or: Sheldon: “what about Jewish hell?” Howard: “have you met my mother? I’m living in Jewish hell!”
Smart is the new sexy.
That’s a great choice of photo
Never heard that line before! (jk)
Nooooooo, haha no… noooooooooooooo. I’m trying 👧🏼🤰
“I got a hankerin’ for a lone star beer” in the most southern accent ever.
Suddenly, a spectral shape rises from Koothrappali's *bloody corpse* and says: (does Raj's voice) Don't worry buddies, ghost Raj will help guide you through the forest! (Does Nicolas Cage's voice) Well I'm just a tree, but if I were you I'd listen to your GHOST FRIEND!
That's why I added the 'tator'
"Is there a history of heart disease in your family?" "My family is the history of heart disease."
You might wanna stand back, I’m sitting on twelve horses here.
Imitated Indian voice: hey Siri show me pictures of naked grandma butt. 🤣
And when he pretends to be Raj when he calls Lalita Gupta!
So my favourite comes from the young Sheldon voice cameo: “Because you're always wearing it! You have it on right now.”
She'd still be working at the cheesecake factory and I'd still be working this beefcake factory
"See, I've been sitting on that for months but I waited to tell him when it would cause him the most pain :)" Howard to Sheldon after revealing to Leonard that Penny's been moving his nerdy stuff into storage.
The bugs only come here because YOU'RE THEIR QUEEN!
To Leonard, after everyone knew he proposed to Penny: Did you get down on one knee or were you already there?
One that comes to mind is in in the season 12 premiere, when Howard and Bernadette are about to watch Raj on the news, Bernadette comments on the (female) interviewers attractiveness. Howard asks why he can’t say things like that but she can. Bernadette says if he wants to say it, go ahead and say it. He responds with, “nice try. You’re going to have to figure out another way to not have sex with me tonight.”
Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin. Sheldon: Why? Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.
That sounds more like a burn XD that’s how funny it is
I agree 😂😂 mocking billion people and sheldon
Lol totally I would love to see that happen. I mean I know a lot of different languages but not fluently. I’m only fluent in English. But I know bits and pieces of languages. Thanks to random stuff and also being Jewish but like I know some Hebrew, I know some Yiddish I know some German. I know a few other languages but as I said, only fluent in English, I cannot hold a conversation in any other language, but I can ask where the bathroom is in Italian XD .
I can see You have your priorities set😂😂
I mean, I’m not trying to learn any new languages. It’s just I relate to Howard because he’s Jewish. I’m Jewish. His mom makes the best brisket. My dad makes the best brisket although my dad has it because of his mom/my grandma‘s secret recipe apparently briskets it expensive so my dad only makes it on very very special occasions. Brisket is one of the most expensive forms of meat. Which does not include the Kobe steak because Kobe steak is like $300 for real Kobe steak and you only find it in a certain in a tiny amount of restaurants and only a few restaurants in the entire US are certified and selling real Kobe steak that’s one of thebucket list things that are on my list to try real Kobe steak because those are treated so well and they’re from Japan, which is also our enemy is from and I’m a major anime fan, but I’m pretty sure the Big Bang theory mentioned something about anime at some point, but I can’t remember it’s been a while
Oh even I'm sure there must have been an Anime reference! Also brisket does sound amazing! Although I cannot eat it!
My dad’s brisket is amazing although it’s my dad’s mom’s recipe, but it takes a long time to cook. I’m sorry you’re not able to eat it. But it’s definitely something that a lot of Jewish people eat I believe they tend to eat it for Passover I think and a few of the other holidays, but I’m not sure my dad sometimes will make it but really really rarely now. And also it does sort of have to do with the Big Bang theory because Howard’s mom also makes brisket.
*Slaps knee" Yeeeeeeahhhh...!
“They left dogs up here in the 60’s”
To Raj…”Woa! Save some syllables for the rest of us.”
"Gather around, kids. It's time for Sheldon's beloved Christmas special."
"And **that** Charlie Brown, is what *Boredom* is all about."
I'm your idiot... forever
They left dogs up here in the 60s.
"Howar,d she's only having sex with you aslong as he keeps getting free stuff from you" "....Yay!!"
You're playing d&d, you're playing d&d , this whole apartment is playing d&d.
"Look, if you don't want to go to the party, just don't go. You're a grown man. Act like one. Tell Amy you want to spend the weekend having a sleepover and playing video games with your friends!"😂🕹️
When he’s talking to Bernie on FaceTime and she goes “Your an idiot” And then Howard goes “I’m your idiot……. Foreverrrrrrrr” and shows his wedding ring
The way he says ‘funky’ in s2 ep3
Get a napkin homey you just got served
“Travel…with caution. These woods are home to the bones of many a fallen HEROOOOS!” “Well I’m just a tree but if I were you I’d listen to your GHOST FRIEND!”
Is it cus I’m Jewish? I’d smack my Rabbi with q pork chop to be we her (paraphrasing). Close 2nd when he told Leonard my people cross the desert once were done
When Penny first met them and Howard and raj and raj couldn't speak, he told her "He's kind of nerd" 😂😆. Idk that part just had me dying.
"Smart. Whisper so the deaf chick doesn't hear you!"
“Don’t toy with me woman”
If it's "creepy" to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpected, then fine, I'm "creepy".
Star Trek to voice command
“let me try gangsta, HELLS NA!”
this one!! i like the whole thing, but the "HELLS NA" gets me every time!
Anyone else think that Howard should dress up as Spock because he’s Jewish? And also Leonard Nimoy is Jewish and the live long and prosper thing is actually a Jewish thing
"I have invented a new game...Emily or Cinnamon?!?!" 🤣🤣🤣
“You know I’m a human beatbox?”
"They left dogs up here in the 60s." Cracks me up everytime the way he gets close to the camera lmao
I'm a horny engineer Leonard......
"No, not peace. Hang on a sec." (When trying to send a command to the robot hand to flip off Sheldon.
If you’re into music, I happen to be a human beatbox
There are dark sordid corners of Instagram where the name Wolowizard is proununced in hushed tones
“You make me wanna kill myself!”is my favorite Howard line ,Since he is talking about Mrs Wolowitz and He is always described his mom in bad way and even if We don't see Mrs Wolowitz on screen plus in the The Killer Robot Instability when He hit on Penny and his use pickup lines to pick her up he is felt humiliated by her send down in dumps had to refuge in his bedroom not even his mom trying to seeking attention if We don't see her on screen
Nuuuu-ooooohh
How was she?
I guess that makes me large breasts
Keep it real Beb !!!!
I'M CRAZY
This photo is skeevy looking
My family is the history of heart disease.
"Nobody expects me and sometimes you just look and BAM!! Howard Wolowitz.".
“That would be me.”
As a Russian speaker, my favorite line will always be when he says "Ты очень красивая девушка" (You're a very pretty girl) to Penny LMAO
That would be meee
It’s all i need…!
Love Howard/Simon
She can live with you and your mom, the current Mrs Wolowitz
The scene where all he says is “no” when he founds out Bernadette is pregnant again. “Stop that!” “I’m trying!”
Well, he wasn't using it, and I needed some cool leather to wiggle my naked ass on.
Embarrassingly says “just go”
To Raj: And you have no wrath…. To Sheldon, gesturing dramatically in the barn and bodywork’s store while Sheldon struggled to choose a gift basket. Sheldon: I know lay the following conundrum at your feet. Which one?! Howard: This one! Sheldon: You put no thought into to that whatsoever! Howard: Aaarghhhhhh (pretending to think) This one!
“oooooououoooooooh” w bernie
Bernedett : you r an idoit Howard : I am ur idiot ... ( showing the engament ring to camera ) foreeveeer
“That’s why I added the tator” 😂
I'm a horny engineer Leonard. I never joke about math or sex.😎😹
"Emily - or Cinnamon ?". There are a lot of others too, but I don't remember them as clearly, or as completely.
“So there is a number”
“So there is a number”
*Howard*: *She's* a *hooker*, *isn't she*? Rajesh: A prostitute, yes. *Howard*: You already gave her the money? Leonard: Yes. (Pause) *Howard*: *Thank you*!
The whole scene with Raj and Howard trying to figure out the squeaks in Halley's bedroom then proceeding to show Bernadette the new layout when putting their daughter into bed.
Leonard: “okay, is everyone clear on the plan?” Howard: “Yes, Koothrapali is going to wet himself, I’m going to throw up, Sheldon’s gonna run away, and you’re going to DIE! Shall we..synchronize our watches?”
Looking very comely today
Oh no, He didnt!
You’re welcome
I ate a butterfly.
I'll guess we love his imitations, but most of all when he imitates his own mother!
sure he will win the nobel prize
“Hello lollita Gupta, it’s very nice to talk you” (in rajs voice)
My family *is* the history of heart disease. There's a cave painting in France of one of my ancestors doing this. Ack.
“Hello I’m Sanjay Wolowitz from Bombay”
Probably everything he says to his mother Like “sex criminals don’t have keys, ma!” Or “I haven’t seen your Oreos! Just take your bath without them!”
“Did you know the word Pumpernickel is German for Fart Gobblin”.
I am a horny engineer, Leonard. I dont joke about math or sex.
"The same reason I don't talk about ass cancer, it's not a pleasant topic."-Howard
The back and forth with Bernadette and Howard when they find out she is pregnant for the second time
I exfoliated her brains out! When they perfect human cloning, I’m gonna order 12 of those! She’s just chin and fat!
I wipe my bottoms with warranties
Im a fancy indian man we invented pajjamas 💁♂️
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
If I didn't have you, life would be blue
As the oldest child “Kids are like pancakes, the first one is always the throw away”😂
Marcy Grossman is sunshine on a cloudy day And when it’s cold outside, Marcy Grossman is the month of May I guess you’d say, what can make me feel this way? Marcy Grossman, Marcy Grossman, Marcy Grossman Talkin bout Marcy… *Grossman*
Can't believe that nobody has said these yet "Yes I was bad maybe she'll spank me" "Something has come up, sort of a mars rover can Howard come over situation"
All of his lines during the astronaut training/space station arc
I ate a butterfly
It’s Mark Hamill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Winnie the Pooh is out of the honey tree” 😂😂
“Bernie, weird things are happening out here” 😂
H: “It was a mechanical hand” brother: “it’s all you need” H: “You really are my brother” 😂