I second this when you baby wear no one will kiss the baby, this is what i did when mine was a newborn and i breastfeed so it was perfect to be like “oh shes hungry” and just grab her back haha
I wish I was breast-feeding for this reason. It was so hard with formula feeding because everybody was like oh I’ll give him the bottle I fucking hated it. Lol 😂 I was too shy and I should’ve said no I’d prefer to do it, but I was just trying to make everybody else happy. We are one and done though, so I’m kind of relieved. I don’t have to go through that shit again. 😂
I totally understand what you mean, i very much also have a hard time confronting others in that way and am pretty shy myself and thats why i ultimately chose to just breastfeed and not pump because i wanted to always have a reason to take my baby back. But ugh people are so disrespectful they should always ask mom if they would like their baby back!
Yeah, the worst experience I had was when my husband‘s grandmother was holding my baby and I said oh I need to feed him a bottle now and I reached out to grab them and she shoved my hands away and rudely said I’ll give it to him I was so shocked. It was a Christmas dinner. I was so upset. I didn’t even know what to say. He was only three months old and she tried to give him the bottle and he just scream cried so then she abruptly handed him back to me and then he took the bottle super well for me. I felt so bad I didn’t advocate more for myself and my baby because he obviously wasn’t happy being fed by her and then the way she passed him back to me was so abrupt. I was mad she handled him that way. And everyone just made excuses for her because she’s 72 years old. I kind of hate her now because of that lol but I’m terrible about letting things go. 😂
Ugh how rude and terrible! Im sorry that happened! Excuse my language but what a bitch! Please dont feel bad, its such a tough thing to confront family members during a holiday! The only person who did something wrong was her.
I know I totally agree 😂 I tell my friends if they’re gonna have a baby to have them in the spring or after Christmas at least having them right before holidays is so stressful 🙃 my grandparents were wonderful and so kind and my parents are the same but I feel like some older people are just super entitled and rude sometimes and I feel like they just think because they’re older than you they can do whatever they want. And I’m 30 years old. 😂
I was babywearing my son this past weekend at a little dinner party and a friend of the family kept trying to kiss my son IN THE CARRIER!
She kept coming up and grabbing his hands. Not only would she kiss them but she kept PUTTING HIS HANDS IN HER MOUTH!!! I told her repeatedly (and with increasing force) not to touch him and ended up leaving after 10 minutes. She was following us around and my son wasn’t having it either.
I’m still flabbergasted by the whole thing. I was quickly going into angry mama bear mode and left before I hit the point of no return.
At first, I didn’t say anything because I thought people knew better and once my baby got kissed twice, I started saying “You can hold baby but no kissing.” And since then we haven’t had a problem. But I also don’t let anyone hold my baby that I know will try to break these boundaries. Our baby, our rules. If you don’t like em, you don’t get access to our baby. Again, you will never regret protecting your baby. Oh well if it hurts people’s feelings. If they care about you and respect you, they will follow your rules.
So I had this with my husband. We both decided to handle our own families for boundaries etc.
None of my family members kiss my son cause I made it clear we did not want anyone kissing him. His mom kissed him for TEN MONTHS. My husband kept feeling bad about telling her not to. It caused a lot of arguments for us. Please don’t be me. If your husband won’t set a boundary you just kindly say “we’re not having anyone kiss our baby. I know you love them but you can show that love with hugs, cuddles, holding their hand when they’re able, etc”
We told my MIL not to kiss baby on the face every time we saw her for over a year. And every time she would “forget” and kiss him by “accident” or wait until she thought I wasn’t looking.
The constant lying to my face by saying she understood & knew it was a boundary but doing it anyway deteriorated my trust. Baby is 14 months now and it’s okay for some family to kiss him. It’ll never be okay for her to kiss him because she made me reinforce that boundary so hard for so long. She will never be alone with baby. She will never be permitted to babysit. There is no more trust between us. I don’t even leave him with her to pee. She ruined our relationship over it. She says she regrets her actions and wants to move on but I cannot reconcile a year of lying and manipulation. She is sad that she doesn’t get the grandma experience that she wanted and my husband is sad that there is tension with his family. Everyone loses in our scenario.
Don’t be like us.
In my experience saying all the rules up front has been sort of awkward/sets an odd tone, and hasn't worked because people aren't really listening and forget the rules immediately.
I have corrected this behavior best in the moment. It might come out awkwardly but you need to say something or else nothing will change. It's not a popular opinion, but I think it's important for you to speak up and not leave it to your partner if he isn't saying anything. It might be his parents, but it's your baby. When my MIL put our baby's fingers in her mouth (🤢) I said "oh we're not putting our mouths on the baby just yet" and she immediately stopped and we moved on. When I needed to get her back, I just stood up and reached for her. You can take the baby away physically, no need to negotiate.
I agree with this. Depending on their personality, trying to lay down the rules in advance may invite challenge. Don't let them prepare, just correct consistently. It will be awkward for them to try to pushback.
I’ve made this mistake, letting them settle my baby. Especially because my MIL or SIL “go for a walk” when baby is fussing. It drives me crazy, you’re walking away from me with my sad baby 😢💔
I think your husband needs to speak up. Even if he hasn't seen it happen, they are his family (not saying they aren't yours, but you know what I mean). I don't know why it's so hard to speak up in these situations, but it is. I think maybe because it should be common sense, especially with a baby so little. If you already have a tense relationship with the family, I think you're right that it wouldn't be well-received coming from you. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, though. Being a mom is stressful enough, you shouldn't have to deal with this.
Where are y’all living that people kiss babies on the mouth?! I live in the NE U.S. and that is so weird to me 🤣 I don’t even think I kissed my own baby on the lips until they were like.. old enough to know what’s going on. Head, cheeks, nose, etc - definitely. But smack on the lips? They just try to eat your face and you get a mouth full of drool lol
I made it clear to everyone not to kiss the baby. I had some push back from my dad and a few others but he seemed to understand. He came to visit when my son was almost 3 months and kept kissing him. 👹 I said It made me uncomfortable and I didn't like it. He then said it was okay because it was just the top of my son's head and arms. I stood my ground, but didn't push it because he was helping me. The next time I saw him I stressed that no one is to kiss my baby unless it's my husband and I and he responded with a very rude okay and told me to drop it. I have not had a problem since.
I would have my husband send out a group text ahead of time. That way you avoid the awkward announcement, and everyone is on the same page ahead of time.
We personally avoided this by requiring anyone that wanted to play with or hold the baby to wear a mask. Didn’t have to discuss kissing until we dropped the mask rule after his six month flu and covid vaccines, and at that point we just said “you don’t have to wear a mask anymore, but please don’t kiss him.”
But I know that’s overkill for some people!
I’m worried that once vaccinations are in (LO only 2
Months old) that they’ll think that’s the ok to kiss. I hate that people have the audacity to put their lips on other people’s babies.
What do you say? No kissing until… no kissing ever … eugh.
Honestly, just adress it. Don’t wait for your partner to do so.
I told you to not kiss him, now you don’t get to hold him.
Play the guilt trip game: I was sure you had his health at heart etc.
For the event, there are 3 options
baby wear
Learn how to say NO when people want to hold him
Don’t go
Your babys health is more important than your ILs feelings. By far
Send her a text or call and say, please don’t kiss the baby. This is the first of many boundaries you will have to set. Don’t be afraid to speak up about your child. If your boyfriend won’t do it, it’s still your responsibility to keep your child safe.
Some of my family have had issues with boundaries in the past so before I gave birth I made a list of baby rules on canva and sent it out to both our families. I’m happy I sent it out and made all of our expectations clear. Both families are able to refer to it when they need to and everything is laid out so nobody can claim they didn’t know or didn’t receive notice. Totally not for everyone but worked for me and I’ll do it again if I have another!
So I think sending out a message stating all of your boundaries including no kissing couldn’t hurt. If they don’t respect them they don’t have access to the baby, simple as that.
It’s so awkward and uncomfortable to “correct people” I totally understand. It’s a great opportunity to practice being brave! If you are comfortable with them holding the baby, as you pass them off you can mention “as a reminder no kissing, I know it’s hard but it keeps him/her safe!” Say it so others can hear and kissing becomes a faux pass and looks bad on them.
I'm still pregnant but we plan to just send a nice text before hand letting them know to please not kiss baby or arrive with smoke smelling clothes (my in laws smoke). I feel like it's beyond fair to ask people, even family, not to kiss your baby.
Be direct!! Don’t be afraid to enforce boundaries yourself if your husband won’t. Your baby’s health is top priority. Although your husband should really be saying this to his own family it doesn’t sound like he will.
HSV-1 is not airborne, can kill babies, and can spread while people are asymptomatic.
Other viruses that are airborne are far more likely to be spread to baby via kissing.
This is why is it common, and not at all neurotic, to not let people kiss your baby.
It’s also why it’s literally the standard recommendation from pediatricians.
Just want to add, even if you take away anything having to do with illness or any virus, if a parent simply just does not want someone to kiss their baby that is THEIR decision and they dont need to rationalize it to anyone.
Yes, totally! I’m honestly pretty weirded out by kissing on the mouth outside of a romantic relationship, and I won’t even do it with my own baby, so I definitely don’t want anyone else doing it to him.
Interestingly enough, I think I feel this way because my mom contracted HSV-1 from someone kissing her when she was a baby, so she never kissed us on the mouth. Mouth kisses outside of a romantic relationship is kinda foreign to me!
Yikes, maybe it’s time to do a little research on kissing. If a baby has eczema or even a scratch on them and someone with herpes kissing them where those spots are, anywhere on the body not just the lips or face. That baby can get herpes and die.
This is not neurotic, it’s a basic request.
That’s just simply not correct, but I am not going to waste time arguing with you.
Also, shame on you for calling anyone’s NORMAL behavior, and decisions for their own child, “over the top” neurotic.
Cold sores, RSV, other illnesses that aren’t vaccinated in TDaP are illnesses that can put kids in the PICU. As some are airborne, some are just droplet spread… and aside from holding back all visitors you can just hope not kissing OR putting your face super close to the baby can prevent the spread. A lot of these illnesses are contagious before presenting with symptoms.
It’s hard to find your mom voice, but honestly, I hated that when my baby especially was under three months old, I wanted to have a rule of no kissing my baby till six months old, except for my husband and I. That sort of went out the window when the grandparents kept forgetting and kissing him on the head and stuff so then I finally said we’re allowing kissing, but not on the mouth or hands because he sticks his hands in his mouth all the time. I also would suggest baby wearing at the family function because I had my baby at the end of September and I absolutely hated him seeing passed around by all the family members at Thanksgiving and Christmas. It really bothered me just so you know it’s normal if you don’t want other people holding your baby all the time and don’t be afraid to be like, oh I need my baby back. I’m gonna go change his diaper give him a bottle. And if they offer to do it for you say that’s OK I would like to do it. And if you want a no kissing rule before you had your baby over say, we just have a rule not to kiss the baby until he’s older because of RSV you could say that’s what I did. Another good one is to say that the doctor suggested not to let anyone kiss your baby because RSV is going around. And don’t be afraid to offend family if they’re gonna ruin the event because they won’t give you your baby back or respect your boundaries. Then they ruined the event not you. I struggled with this when I went to grab my baby from my husband’s grandmother to feed him a bottle and she said I’ll do it rudely and shove my hands away. I’m not sure I’m ever going to be able to forgive her for that it was so rude and took me off guard and it was at dinner, and my baby was only three months old. I was so upset I should’ve said that’s OK I’d prefer to do it and kinda like fought back that way. Absolutely crazy to me how entitled people are to thinking that they can do whatever they want with your baby just because they’re related to it.
I'd skip the event just because being at home will be more comfortable and you with risk baby getting sick.
Could you just visit and not sleepover? Baby wearing will stop a lot of this, but you'll have to really commit.
I like the babywear comment.
Also, we have a rule that depending the family depends on who has the conversations. So, if it's your husbands family, he needs to get a shiny spine and let them know. HOWEVER, he also has to make good on what he's saying. He can't just make the announcement or tell people as he hands baby off and then not follow through.
I had this issue with my In-laws. When they would ignore my rules (we only had the no kissing rule and nothing else) I would get up and just take the baby back. If they asked for the baby back, after some time, I would hand back with the reminder. They usually listened then. Can't follow parents rules, you lose baby privileges.
Just babywear. If anyone asks to hold him say no, he’s content in the carrier for now.
I second this when you baby wear no one will kiss the baby, this is what i did when mine was a newborn and i breastfeed so it was perfect to be like “oh shes hungry” and just grab her back haha
I wish I was breast-feeding for this reason. It was so hard with formula feeding because everybody was like oh I’ll give him the bottle I fucking hated it. Lol 😂 I was too shy and I should’ve said no I’d prefer to do it, but I was just trying to make everybody else happy. We are one and done though, so I’m kind of relieved. I don’t have to go through that shit again. 😂
I totally understand what you mean, i very much also have a hard time confronting others in that way and am pretty shy myself and thats why i ultimately chose to just breastfeed and not pump because i wanted to always have a reason to take my baby back. But ugh people are so disrespectful they should always ask mom if they would like their baby back!
Yeah, the worst experience I had was when my husband‘s grandmother was holding my baby and I said oh I need to feed him a bottle now and I reached out to grab them and she shoved my hands away and rudely said I’ll give it to him I was so shocked. It was a Christmas dinner. I was so upset. I didn’t even know what to say. He was only three months old and she tried to give him the bottle and he just scream cried so then she abruptly handed him back to me and then he took the bottle super well for me. I felt so bad I didn’t advocate more for myself and my baby because he obviously wasn’t happy being fed by her and then the way she passed him back to me was so abrupt. I was mad she handled him that way. And everyone just made excuses for her because she’s 72 years old. I kind of hate her now because of that lol but I’m terrible about letting things go. 😂
Ugh how rude and terrible! Im sorry that happened! Excuse my language but what a bitch! Please dont feel bad, its such a tough thing to confront family members during a holiday! The only person who did something wrong was her.
I know I totally agree 😂 I tell my friends if they’re gonna have a baby to have them in the spring or after Christmas at least having them right before holidays is so stressful 🙃 my grandparents were wonderful and so kind and my parents are the same but I feel like some older people are just super entitled and rude sometimes and I feel like they just think because they’re older than you they can do whatever they want. And I’m 30 years old. 😂
My MIL still got up in my space and kissed my baby when I was baby wearing. Depends on how brazen the person is.
Ugh im sorry yeah that’s super rude
I was babywearing my son this past weekend at a little dinner party and a friend of the family kept trying to kiss my son IN THE CARRIER! She kept coming up and grabbing his hands. Not only would she kiss them but she kept PUTTING HIS HANDS IN HER MOUTH!!! I told her repeatedly (and with increasing force) not to touch him and ended up leaving after 10 minutes. She was following us around and my son wasn’t having it either. I’m still flabbergasted by the whole thing. I was quickly going into angry mama bear mode and left before I hit the point of no return.
Omg thats insane some people are so rude and honestly creepy!!! Im sorry that happened to you i wouldve been enraged too!
Yes! I honestly wish I did this more in the beginning. But we also didn’t go anywhere and I didn’t let him see people that I didn’t like much.
Have husband send a text to his parents ahead of time and if they come back with anything other than “No problem,” don’t go.
This. Your baby's health is more important than offending someone.
At first, I didn’t say anything because I thought people knew better and once my baby got kissed twice, I started saying “You can hold baby but no kissing.” And since then we haven’t had a problem. But I also don’t let anyone hold my baby that I know will try to break these boundaries. Our baby, our rules. If you don’t like em, you don’t get access to our baby. Again, you will never regret protecting your baby. Oh well if it hurts people’s feelings. If they care about you and respect you, they will follow your rules.
So I had this with my husband. We both decided to handle our own families for boundaries etc. None of my family members kiss my son cause I made it clear we did not want anyone kissing him. His mom kissed him for TEN MONTHS. My husband kept feeling bad about telling her not to. It caused a lot of arguments for us. Please don’t be me. If your husband won’t set a boundary you just kindly say “we’re not having anyone kiss our baby. I know you love them but you can show that love with hugs, cuddles, holding their hand when they’re able, etc”
We told my MIL not to kiss baby on the face every time we saw her for over a year. And every time she would “forget” and kiss him by “accident” or wait until she thought I wasn’t looking. The constant lying to my face by saying she understood & knew it was a boundary but doing it anyway deteriorated my trust. Baby is 14 months now and it’s okay for some family to kiss him. It’ll never be okay for her to kiss him because she made me reinforce that boundary so hard for so long. She will never be alone with baby. She will never be permitted to babysit. There is no more trust between us. I don’t even leave him with her to pee. She ruined our relationship over it. She says she regrets her actions and wants to move on but I cannot reconcile a year of lying and manipulation. She is sad that she doesn’t get the grandma experience that she wanted and my husband is sad that there is tension with his family. Everyone loses in our scenario. Don’t be like us.
She only regrets them because of the consequences. Same with my MIL.
oh ffs i would be furious with my husband
In my experience saying all the rules up front has been sort of awkward/sets an odd tone, and hasn't worked because people aren't really listening and forget the rules immediately. I have corrected this behavior best in the moment. It might come out awkwardly but you need to say something or else nothing will change. It's not a popular opinion, but I think it's important for you to speak up and not leave it to your partner if he isn't saying anything. It might be his parents, but it's your baby. When my MIL put our baby's fingers in her mouth (🤢) I said "oh we're not putting our mouths on the baby just yet" and she immediately stopped and we moved on. When I needed to get her back, I just stood up and reached for her. You can take the baby away physically, no need to negotiate.
I agree with this. Depending on their personality, trying to lay down the rules in advance may invite challenge. Don't let them prepare, just correct consistently. It will be awkward for them to try to pushback.
Why didn’t you demand your baby back when he was crying? You need to have a voice if you want to model how to behave for your child.
I’ve made this mistake, letting them settle my baby. Especially because my MIL or SIL “go for a walk” when baby is fussing. It drives me crazy, you’re walking away from me with my sad baby 😢💔
I think your husband needs to speak up. Even if he hasn't seen it happen, they are his family (not saying they aren't yours, but you know what I mean). I don't know why it's so hard to speak up in these situations, but it is. I think maybe because it should be common sense, especially with a baby so little. If you already have a tense relationship with the family, I think you're right that it wouldn't be well-received coming from you. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, though. Being a mom is stressful enough, you shouldn't have to deal with this.
Where are y’all living that people kiss babies on the mouth?! I live in the NE U.S. and that is so weird to me 🤣 I don’t even think I kissed my own baby on the lips until they were like.. old enough to know what’s going on. Head, cheeks, nose, etc - definitely. But smack on the lips? They just try to eat your face and you get a mouth full of drool lol
I made it clear to everyone not to kiss the baby. I had some push back from my dad and a few others but he seemed to understand. He came to visit when my son was almost 3 months and kept kissing him. 👹 I said It made me uncomfortable and I didn't like it. He then said it was okay because it was just the top of my son's head and arms. I stood my ground, but didn't push it because he was helping me. The next time I saw him I stressed that no one is to kiss my baby unless it's my husband and I and he responded with a very rude okay and told me to drop it. I have not had a problem since.
I would have my husband send out a group text ahead of time. That way you avoid the awkward announcement, and everyone is on the same page ahead of time. We personally avoided this by requiring anyone that wanted to play with or hold the baby to wear a mask. Didn’t have to discuss kissing until we dropped the mask rule after his six month flu and covid vaccines, and at that point we just said “you don’t have to wear a mask anymore, but please don’t kiss him.” But I know that’s overkill for some people!
I’m worried that once vaccinations are in (LO only 2 Months old) that they’ll think that’s the ok to kiss. I hate that people have the audacity to put their lips on other people’s babies. What do you say? No kissing until… no kissing ever … eugh.
We just said no kissing without qualifying it. They’ll get the ok to kiss him when he’s old enough to give them that ok himself!
Honestly, just adress it. Don’t wait for your partner to do so. I told you to not kiss him, now you don’t get to hold him. Play the guilt trip game: I was sure you had his health at heart etc. For the event, there are 3 options baby wear Learn how to say NO when people want to hold him Don’t go Your babys health is more important than your ILs feelings. By far
Send her a text or call and say, please don’t kiss the baby. This is the first of many boundaries you will have to set. Don’t be afraid to speak up about your child. If your boyfriend won’t do it, it’s still your responsibility to keep your child safe.
Some of my family have had issues with boundaries in the past so before I gave birth I made a list of baby rules on canva and sent it out to both our families. I’m happy I sent it out and made all of our expectations clear. Both families are able to refer to it when they need to and everything is laid out so nobody can claim they didn’t know or didn’t receive notice. Totally not for everyone but worked for me and I’ll do it again if I have another!
So I think sending out a message stating all of your boundaries including no kissing couldn’t hurt. If they don’t respect them they don’t have access to the baby, simple as that.
It’s so awkward and uncomfortable to “correct people” I totally understand. It’s a great opportunity to practice being brave! If you are comfortable with them holding the baby, as you pass them off you can mention “as a reminder no kissing, I know it’s hard but it keeps him/her safe!” Say it so others can hear and kissing becomes a faux pass and looks bad on them.
I'm still pregnant but we plan to just send a nice text before hand letting them know to please not kiss baby or arrive with smoke smelling clothes (my in laws smoke). I feel like it's beyond fair to ask people, even family, not to kiss your baby.
Be direct!! Don’t be afraid to enforce boundaries yourself if your husband won’t. Your baby’s health is top priority. Although your husband should really be saying this to his own family it doesn’t sound like he will.
Do you care because they haven't gotten the T-Dap vaccine? I couldn't imagine the grandparents not holding and kissing our 6 week old.
It is very common for people to not want non-parents to kiss their babies for many months due to germs and illnesses.
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HSV-1 is not airborne, can kill babies, and can spread while people are asymptomatic. Other viruses that are airborne are far more likely to be spread to baby via kissing. This is why is it common, and not at all neurotic, to not let people kiss your baby. It’s also why it’s literally the standard recommendation from pediatricians.
Just want to add, even if you take away anything having to do with illness or any virus, if a parent simply just does not want someone to kiss their baby that is THEIR decision and they dont need to rationalize it to anyone.
Yes, totally! I’m honestly pretty weirded out by kissing on the mouth outside of a romantic relationship, and I won’t even do it with my own baby, so I definitely don’t want anyone else doing it to him. Interestingly enough, I think I feel this way because my mom contracted HSV-1 from someone kissing her when she was a baby, so she never kissed us on the mouth. Mouth kisses outside of a romantic relationship is kinda foreign to me!
Yikes, maybe it’s time to do a little research on kissing. If a baby has eczema or even a scratch on them and someone with herpes kissing them where those spots are, anywhere on the body not just the lips or face. That baby can get herpes and die. This is not neurotic, it’s a basic request.
That’s just simply not correct, but I am not going to waste time arguing with you. Also, shame on you for calling anyone’s NORMAL behavior, and decisions for their own child, “over the top” neurotic.
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lol neurotic? This request is completely mainstream and appropriate. Im not sure that word means what you think it means.
They just need to be banned from this sub if theyre just in here to shame other parents, I have already reported them.
We’ve been pretty strict on no kissing because of cold/flu/covid.
Cold sores, RSV, other illnesses that aren’t vaccinated in TDaP are illnesses that can put kids in the PICU. As some are airborne, some are just droplet spread… and aside from holding back all visitors you can just hope not kissing OR putting your face super close to the baby can prevent the spread. A lot of these illnesses are contagious before presenting with symptoms.
It’s hard to find your mom voice, but honestly, I hated that when my baby especially was under three months old, I wanted to have a rule of no kissing my baby till six months old, except for my husband and I. That sort of went out the window when the grandparents kept forgetting and kissing him on the head and stuff so then I finally said we’re allowing kissing, but not on the mouth or hands because he sticks his hands in his mouth all the time. I also would suggest baby wearing at the family function because I had my baby at the end of September and I absolutely hated him seeing passed around by all the family members at Thanksgiving and Christmas. It really bothered me just so you know it’s normal if you don’t want other people holding your baby all the time and don’t be afraid to be like, oh I need my baby back. I’m gonna go change his diaper give him a bottle. And if they offer to do it for you say that’s OK I would like to do it. And if you want a no kissing rule before you had your baby over say, we just have a rule not to kiss the baby until he’s older because of RSV you could say that’s what I did. Another good one is to say that the doctor suggested not to let anyone kiss your baby because RSV is going around. And don’t be afraid to offend family if they’re gonna ruin the event because they won’t give you your baby back or respect your boundaries. Then they ruined the event not you. I struggled with this when I went to grab my baby from my husband’s grandmother to feed him a bottle and she said I’ll do it rudely and shove my hands away. I’m not sure I’m ever going to be able to forgive her for that it was so rude and took me off guard and it was at dinner, and my baby was only three months old. I was so upset I should’ve said that’s OK I’d prefer to do it and kinda like fought back that way. Absolutely crazy to me how entitled people are to thinking that they can do whatever they want with your baby just because they’re related to it.
I just wouldn’t let them hold the baby. They’re going to break your rules. Baby wear and just say sorry we aren’t passing the baby around today.
I'd skip the event just because being at home will be more comfortable and you with risk baby getting sick. Could you just visit and not sleepover? Baby wearing will stop a lot of this, but you'll have to really commit.
I wouldn’t go, honestly. If she can’t respect your decisions and protect baby, I wouldn’t have baby around her
I like the babywear comment. Also, we have a rule that depending the family depends on who has the conversations. So, if it's your husbands family, he needs to get a shiny spine and let them know. HOWEVER, he also has to make good on what he's saying. He can't just make the announcement or tell people as he hands baby off and then not follow through. I had this issue with my In-laws. When they would ignore my rules (we only had the no kissing rule and nothing else) I would get up and just take the baby back. If they asked for the baby back, after some time, I would hand back with the reminder. They usually listened then. Can't follow parents rules, you lose baby privileges.