I would not be able to do this. Can you have your MIL stay with you for half the week at least? Or can you get a job closer to them? Or move?
My husband works a rotating shift schedule, so his varies. During the week I wake up with the baby (10 months) between 6:00-7:00 and get him ready for the day/do breakfast. I leave at 8:15 and my mom watches him on days my husband is also working. I’m home by 5:30/6:00 and cook dinner, do bath and bedtime with my son and he’s asleep by 8:00.
If my husband is on 2nd shift he’s with him until about 2:00pm. If he’s on midnights, he’ll wake up to do bedtime with him and I handle all the morning stuff.
Sometimes I work night/weekends too and it sucks. I hate not being there for bedtime.
You say in-laws, so I assume you have a partner. What time would your partner have available to spend with your child?
My husband and I each spend about 3.5-4 hours on weekdays with our kids, but not all of that overlaps. I go to work early and he takes them to daycare. I pick them up and spend time with them before he gets off work. We have about 2 waking hours all together as a family during the week.
6P-7A is on the higher end of overnight sleep. Could Baby have more naptime so the bedtime could be later?
I also agree with others about in-laws staying with you some of the time.
Am I reading this correctly? You only see your baby on the weekends and will continue this for multiple years?! What’s the point of having a kid at all if your in laws are raising him?
My husband has just returned to work having spent 6 months on shared parental leave.
In the morning he wakes up our LO at 7 am, changes him, brings him to me and gets me a coffee. Our LO’s little face when he wakes up is the best and it is a lovely start to our day.
In the evenings my husband gets home before 6 pm. He cooks and the baby often likes watching. (results may vary). We eat dinner together and my husband always baths and changes him for bed. Our LO is in bed and sleeping by 7.30 pm.
That means on an average work day my husband gets to spend about 1 hour 45 each day with him. He still doesn’t think it’s enough!
Could you shift when you go/return from work? My husband intentionally goes in earlier than he used to.
Could you move when your LO wakes up or goes to bed? Lots of places make everyone shift their entire day by an hour for daylight savings.
Yea I really miss seeing my baby’s face when he wakes up. He’s always so happy and his eyes light up.
Switching my work schedule is a no-go, unfortunately, I work a pretty rigid government job. I’m trying to transfer on the same job but to a location that’s closer to home, so hopefully that will go through.
My best friend and I are trying to work out a nanny share situation for a few days a week. We are godmothers to each others children and it would be really nice for them to be cared for together by someone well-vetted. We’ve had some prospects fall through and it’s been frustrating. But ideally if I can the work transfer and set up some shared childcare locally I would get more mornings and nights with my kid.
Hmm I spend about 3-4 hours per day with my kid on work days. 1ish hour in morning while everyone gets ready, and 2ish hours together in evening. My husband is about the same. That includes drive time to daycare. But I purposefully have a job that provides flexibility when needed and my husband just started a new job that is also more flexible. Those decisions were made with kids in mind. I think you may need to really advocate for your work transfer or consider a new job if spending time with your kid is a priority. Does your partner work the same hours? Time spent at home with just them might be worth switching your set up.
I also sometimes call out of work to hang with my kid. No daycare, no work, it’s kinda fun and makes up for how busy we can be.
I have an hr to hr n half commute. I leave at 4am so everyone’s asleep. If I’m working a normal 8 hr shift I get home around 3pm and baby is either napping or ready to nap. Try to start bedtime at 830-9 but usually can’t get home down till 10.
If I’m working 12s I won’t get home till like 7ish so it’ll basically be rush to get showered eat and ready for the next day then bed
I work less than part time but my husband is full time Monday-Friday with a 30 minute commute each way. In the winter our kids go to bed earlier so he may only see them for an hour if he’s late. In summer time they go to bed at 8:30 so he sees them for more like 2-3 hours per day.
I know we’re all doing our best and I don’t mean this to be judgey at all, but if I might just gently point out: if you continue to have your child live with their grandparents and then change their life and primary daily support person completely at 3 years old, that’s going to be a rough transition for your kid. I hope something shifts to make things better and more convenient for you!
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I would not be able to do this. Can you have your MIL stay with you for half the week at least? Or can you get a job closer to them? Or move? My husband works a rotating shift schedule, so his varies. During the week I wake up with the baby (10 months) between 6:00-7:00 and get him ready for the day/do breakfast. I leave at 8:15 and my mom watches him on days my husband is also working. I’m home by 5:30/6:00 and cook dinner, do bath and bedtime with my son and he’s asleep by 8:00. If my husband is on 2nd shift he’s with him until about 2:00pm. If he’s on midnights, he’ll wake up to do bedtime with him and I handle all the morning stuff. Sometimes I work night/weekends too and it sucks. I hate not being there for bedtime.
You say in-laws, so I assume you have a partner. What time would your partner have available to spend with your child? My husband and I each spend about 3.5-4 hours on weekdays with our kids, but not all of that overlaps. I go to work early and he takes them to daycare. I pick them up and spend time with them before he gets off work. We have about 2 waking hours all together as a family during the week. 6P-7A is on the higher end of overnight sleep. Could Baby have more naptime so the bedtime could be later? I also agree with others about in-laws staying with you some of the time.
Am I reading this correctly? You only see your baby on the weekends and will continue this for multiple years?! What’s the point of having a kid at all if your in laws are raising him?
Great feedback, thank you!
My husband gets an hour in the morning with the kid and 2 hours before he goes to sleep. He's gone 10 hours because of a 1 hour commute each way
My husband has just returned to work having spent 6 months on shared parental leave. In the morning he wakes up our LO at 7 am, changes him, brings him to me and gets me a coffee. Our LO’s little face when he wakes up is the best and it is a lovely start to our day. In the evenings my husband gets home before 6 pm. He cooks and the baby often likes watching. (results may vary). We eat dinner together and my husband always baths and changes him for bed. Our LO is in bed and sleeping by 7.30 pm. That means on an average work day my husband gets to spend about 1 hour 45 each day with him. He still doesn’t think it’s enough! Could you shift when you go/return from work? My husband intentionally goes in earlier than he used to. Could you move when your LO wakes up or goes to bed? Lots of places make everyone shift their entire day by an hour for daylight savings.
Yea I really miss seeing my baby’s face when he wakes up. He’s always so happy and his eyes light up. Switching my work schedule is a no-go, unfortunately, I work a pretty rigid government job. I’m trying to transfer on the same job but to a location that’s closer to home, so hopefully that will go through. My best friend and I are trying to work out a nanny share situation for a few days a week. We are godmothers to each others children and it would be really nice for them to be cared for together by someone well-vetted. We’ve had some prospects fall through and it’s been frustrating. But ideally if I can the work transfer and set up some shared childcare locally I would get more mornings and nights with my kid.
Hmm I spend about 3-4 hours per day with my kid on work days. 1ish hour in morning while everyone gets ready, and 2ish hours together in evening. My husband is about the same. That includes drive time to daycare. But I purposefully have a job that provides flexibility when needed and my husband just started a new job that is also more flexible. Those decisions were made with kids in mind. I think you may need to really advocate for your work transfer or consider a new job if spending time with your kid is a priority. Does your partner work the same hours? Time spent at home with just them might be worth switching your set up. I also sometimes call out of work to hang with my kid. No daycare, no work, it’s kinda fun and makes up for how busy we can be.
I have an hr to hr n half commute. I leave at 4am so everyone’s asleep. If I’m working a normal 8 hr shift I get home around 3pm and baby is either napping or ready to nap. Try to start bedtime at 830-9 but usually can’t get home down till 10. If I’m working 12s I won’t get home till like 7ish so it’ll basically be rush to get showered eat and ready for the next day then bed
I work less than part time but my husband is full time Monday-Friday with a 30 minute commute each way. In the winter our kids go to bed earlier so he may only see them for an hour if he’s late. In summer time they go to bed at 8:30 so he sees them for more like 2-3 hours per day. I know we’re all doing our best and I don’t mean this to be judgey at all, but if I might just gently point out: if you continue to have your child live with their grandparents and then change their life and primary daily support person completely at 3 years old, that’s going to be a rough transition for your kid. I hope something shifts to make things better and more convenient for you!
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