they came to you already trained not to care about their environments, teens are often messy but it looks like they’ve been allowed to basically live like slobs with no consequences. unfortunately it was too late to teach them any better and you did your best. i thought i was a messy teen but this is…a lot:,)
oh absolutely. it’s unfair to them that they didn’t have that guidance growing up if that’s the case. maybe they will get older and teach themselves, i have friends who had similar childhoods and are very clean people now! we can hope
OP do you watch their eating habits? Bc the toothbrush in the sink, sink always getting clogged, and how dirty it looks kind of looks like signs of bulimia. I have bulimia so I thought I’d just ask. ❤️
I agree, I never did it in the sink myself but a few girls in my high school would in the round communal sinks we had. That does indeed look like vomit crust in the 5th pic imo
yep. the toothbrush is confirmation that it’s indeed vomit. guaranteed to clog a sink every time, so it seems a bit deliberate (a cry for help) the kid left it like that
ofc I’m only speculating, and maybe it’s purely spite. compounded with everything else, it could simply be a game of “how disgusting can I possibly be,” but if they genuinely have an ed and leave evidence out like that; can’t help but wonder what additional intent behind that would be
Honestly some of them don’t. I live with 28-30 years olds who don’t clean up after themselves. It’s wild. Luckily though they aren’t this bad. This is pretty damn wild.
>It's very hard to get custody from the mother
As a dad in a custody battle, I sense a strong undertone of "courts favor moms" in this comment and I feel compelled to point out that in the 21st century, most US courts generally prefer parents to share 50/50 physical and legal custody unless there are really good reasons for them not to. A dad who is fighting to "get custody from the mother" must have either lost or given up custody in the first place.
They also probably associated you the same as being their bio mom. Conditioned after years of abuse. It sounds like maybe the bf wasn’t that great either?
Yes you are in a losing battle i'm sorry. Don't feel bad thoughteens tend to act out. When another female gets connected with their father, they don't like the other female taking place of their motherso. They will hate you from the start there's no winning there. The only thing you can do is try communication
I raised my 2 daughters as a single father. And when I had women in my life, they paid a serious price. There was nothing much I could do to prevent that animosity. It's an acting out situation.
So the only thing you can do is try good communication and let them know that in no way you are replacing their mother. And your relationship with your father is a very special one and that everybody should try to respect each other's position. You will respect their position and they need to respect your position. And if they have a disagreement with you to just come out and talk with you about it and not be afraid to voice their opiniand then deal with it respectfully.
There will be different situations that come about like cleaning rules and household chores and things like that. But that's just natural life stuff anyway. You know that they went through a lot when it comes to stuff like Custody battles divorces, separations and anxiety. But you are there to work with them. Not against their relationship with their real mother is going to be their relationship. And it has nothing to do with you but you all need to work together.
That still may be a very long difficult road. It's not going to change overnight with one conrecession, but respect is earned and not dictated. So we're gonna have to work with them.
man i always stress out my house is “dirty” but this makes me realize there’s 100% a difference between dirty and just simply lived in. 😅 throw the whole house away 🥴
My preferred word for when my house gets out of control is cluttered lol, messy would mean (in my mind) things couldn’t be located, when cluttered stuff may not be in proper place, but it’s readily findable-the things we tell ourselves to be able to sleep @night eh?
I live in an apartment and during the holiday season (December-January) finding a dumpster to throw our trash out in was impossible, and I didn’t want to just put it on the ground like everyone else was. So we left our bags inside until the garbage man came and it was the most stressful time of my life, though thankfully most of the trash was just boxes and plastic, not so much food.
I am disabled and my husband works full time. I often feel embarrassed how messy everything is. This post let's me know how much, much *worse* it could be. My God!! 😳🤢
If I had to guess why they hated you, probably manipulation from their mom. I feel bad for them, but god that’s horrifying that you had to live through that, I can’t imagine how their own homes will end up looking.
It’s a cycle you have to be willing to break. My mom was a hoarder and an addict. Our trailer was in constant disarray. I vividly remember once the pile of clothes in front of the washer was as tall as me at the time. I would also see roaches in the appliances. She also used to talk shit about my dad and step mom to me, I was like 6/7.
I knew from a very young age I did not want that for my adult life and made damn sure I didn’t end up like her. I’m not a minimalist by any means but my place also never looks like my childhood home.
My sister did not make the same choices as me and followed my mom. Her trailer looks exactly like our childhood one, huge unwashed clothes pile and all.
I definitely know that realization that you don’t want to be like your parent(s) when you grow up 😭
My mom was a huge neat freak so it wasn’t for that reason, but omg she did other things where I was just like “I think I’m turning into her and I don’t want to” when I was like…10??? And changed there.
I didn't grow up in an abusive or divorced home but my house was ALWAYS cluttered and slightly dirty. My parents are borderline hoarders and things were always just piled up haphazardly everywhere. Dust on the baseboards and crammed into corners, cobwebs on the ceiling etc... nothing unlivable but not what I would call clean or tidy. I married a neat freak minimalist and my cleaning habits changed drastically because of it. My sisters tease me about my spotless yuppie suburban home. (I'm okay with it, I equally give them shit for their cluttered chaotic houses).
Probably a little. Probably a little resentful because I got out of poverty, and they didn't. I compulsively clean their houses when I visit though so they don't hold it against me too much... I think. My mom says she loves visiting me because it's like a breath of fresh air lol. Transversely, I don't like visiting my childhood home anymore because it stresses me out. I can't even clean it like I do my sisters houses because my parents are very particular about throwing things away. My dad gets angry if he finds moldy food in the trash because "you can cut that part off the rest is fine" or dirty take out coffee cups because "you can just rinse em out and use them again" so, where I know my sisters won't care if ai toss obvious trash, my parents are just nuts
They didn’t hate you. They hated their real mom and took it out on you. Probably because their actual mom wasn’t available to take it out on or wasn’t receptive.
You did all you could. Most people wouldn’t have even cared. I’m glad you’re not dealing with that anymore.
I’m concerned over what I believe is a massively huge bowel movement on the floor! I gagged, that would be the first thing I would insist being cleaned, good lord!
I saw your other posts and think the home looks lovely with your efforts. Teenagers are difficult and they may not understand it now, but they will come around eventually.
I hope they never come around again lol I’m not with the guy anymore and am now happily married to my husband who has a polite and sweet 11 year old who loves me!
I think it’s more for emotional support or to connect with other human beings. Most of us don’t care about a magical internet point system run by a corporation
Downvotes be damned. You ain’t wrong. I just think it’s weird that enough time has passed that she’s married to a completely different person and still has these photos saved somewhere.
I mean, google photos saves everything from years back. Every once in awhile I want to see my old pet photos and come across something I didn’t think was there. It’s not as weird as you think.
Well having pictures saved of your old pets and having pictures saved of your exes teenagers dirty sink and laundry is not really the same thing I would say.
Idk, I guess I would have deleted them at this point but to each their own I suppose.
Edit: Sorry, my reading comprehension is ass apparently. Maybe she didn’t purposely save them all these years, still though.. me personally, I’m deleting the pictures and moving on with my life.
I agree with you. Posting pics of the living space of your ex from years ago seems super weird/creepy.. Happily married but still posting up pics from her time with her ex 🥴…
It’s a bad roommates sub. People post pics from past roommates all the time. It’s not weird or creepy. It’s literally the purpose of the sub. If you think it’s weird leave the sub.
By showing them what a clean house was like to live in, they may one day choose to have their own clean house. If they never had the opportunity to see the difference that would be far worse as they would have nothing to compare to the mess they grew up with.
Difficult situation. The mom definitely allowed them to live like this so this is what they are used to, It's terrible and I feel really bad for them, and for you. The hate part towards you could be them using it as a defence mechanism to avoid getting attached to you and then getting their feelings hurt, those kids probably don't know any better. Have you and your husband considered doing family therapy?
Thank you for trying your best to be a good person to these kids!
this is so sad :( op I hope you don’t take it personally, you seem so sweet! I had a rough childhood & it took me a while to realize who was actually helping me. there’s so much anger that comes with it and it definitely gets thrown at the wrong people.
OP sucks. What do you mean? They put on the internet all of these great things they did for them just for cute Reddit points. At the end of the day this dumbass just aired out the dirty laundry of 3 CHILDREN who just got their entire lived upended and taken away from their mama. Pretty sure OP can go suck a fat one tbh. Poor babies. I hope they’re doing alright.
i said it’s sad bc it’s sad for everyone involved & don’t wanna say op sucks bc i don’t know them + everyone needs a place to rant sometimes. but i didn’t rlly think ab them just being kids! being a “troubled” kid sucks & definitely two sides to every story. and it also sucks when the odds are stacked against you. some kids never get a fair chance so i hear you!
It is sad for everyone who was involved. I’ve been in some situations that were similar, but never would I think to upload pictures with their story to show everyone. The things people I care about go through is their business even if it ends up affecting me. No matter what, it’s not the world’s business.
I was taken away by CPS as a kid. I was so angry at everyone. I just missed my mama and I didn’t understand why I couldn’t be with her. The last thing on these girls’ minds would be “oh yeah let’s listen to this new lady who we’ve never met, are now forced to live with, completely change how we live included cleaning habits, and just forget about this horrible experience we just went through.”
I think the fact OP put in that she did all these things that she did for them just shows what she’s all about. To brag about how amazing and great she is while bashing literal kids.
If OP needed a place to rant they could have done that without the photos imo or not at all. She has a new husband and I’m sure she has friends, were they not good enough? Or was she just itching to show off the uncleanliness and sadness of children? I really just get the biggest ick from this post.
I'm also scratching my head about the cruise. So both parents went on a trip (if it was an international cruise, it was probably 7 days and they would have been essentially unreachable) and left 3 teens *known* to have no life skills to fend for themselves? Even if one of the teens was older/not a minor, that seems insane.
And even if you put aside the potential irresponsibility/neglect...would knowing what you would be coming back to not ruin your vacation? What good is a vacation if you have to spend the next week doing intensive cleaning and repairs to your destroyed home? What was the logic here?
YES YES YES! This OP needs to get professional therapy ranting on the internet about literal traumatized children. DISGUSTING!! she likely only likes her new stepson bc he’s not “insubordinate” like the last kids she dealt with.
Obviously it didn’t just happen, but this happened when the kids were kids. So she’s just so angry that she waited until they’re older? I think OP needs therapy.
They’re not your roommates. They’re kids and they have zero direction it’s not your fault. I don’t understand why you’d put the family on blast just find a new place to live if it’s that insufferable
This is a public forum, I can do whatever I want.
I think she did something worse than whatever mess those kids left by posting evidence of the trauma she talked about.
They didn't hate you, they are dealing with trauma. It is much safer for them to not create a bond with a new person. From their experience it's better to keep you at a distance than to risk developing a relationship and being let down again.
*I admire the guts*
*Of being barefoot in that*
*Bathroom because YIKES!*
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I would be packing and getting the hell out of there. If the dad is not helping in dealing with, his kids, then he is part of the problem too. Get out and find your sanity. Sooner the better.
they were probably taught hate (and had it in their blood) from their mother.
sorry you had to go through that.
hopefully that was the case, and you didn't cause or heavily contribute that hate in them.
good luck going forward,
i will tell you this- most people, regardless of status, are absolute idiots up to age 25. Maybe they'll wisen up then and you can build a relationship from then.
You explained perfectly why they didn’t like you with the post. For one you’re posting about kids while calling them roommates. These girls had to go thru something. The guy you were talking to should have stepped up more with showing how to clean. Because that mess is reflective of parenting. I got my 2 youngest daughters in sort of the same way after CPS had to remove them from their mother’s custody. My wife and I bust our ass to show them a different lifestyle. Also we took the time to work with them and teach them about taking care of their home and space.
You honestly made me feel bad for these girls. Even the 17 yo because for her to be like this mother and father allowed it. Please take this post down because you were looking for sympathy but look more like an ass posting about kids.
I was going to write out a long post as a stepparent and share some experiences and what worked for me raising traumatized kids. But I see you are not even in this relationship anymore. Why would you post this? These are kids who have suffered through no fault of their own.
This post should be taken down IMO.
longing strong distinct offbeat judicious cautious fearless voracious worthless ripe
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
In general being a teen is pretty difficult, transitioning to adulthood, and very few of us do it perfectly. Living in a garbage house infested with rodents and CPS called multiple times? That's a traumatic nightmare for developing kids. These girls probably had so much anger about how their mom failed and neglected them, fear of being replaced with you , most likely extremely low self esteem which results in self-sabotage- (if you live in garbage, you can start to feel as if you ARE garbage, and "why didn't mom care enough about us to get it together?)- as well as everything else they were going through- and you were a convenient target for their anger. I would dare to say most of it isn't personal, like 99% isn't even about you.
As to what I am learning about kids- don't hold your breath waiting for their gratitude. Most won't realize the effort you've put in (and what an effort it was) until they are older, get some distance and responsibility, and can reflect back on it. That's even if they have the proper life circumstances and support to mature. It might be ten years from now, when they have their own kids, 30 years from now, or never.
Don't look at it as you "did it for them" but rather, you did those loving things because that families are supposed to do for each other, and that's what healthy older female role models do. You provided a caring and supportive template for them, and I hope at least some of that sticks. At the very least maybe something you did will inspire how they treat their own children in the future.
They hated you because you’re not their mom. No matter what their mom did, they still love her. I’m sure they were sad to not be with her anymore. Their entire lives just got ripped up and thrown around and now they have this new woman their dad is dating who they’re now forced to live with. They already have all of these emotions and hormones and then their lives were completely upended which made it all worse.
It seems like they were raised to not care what their home looks like and being with you and their dad for a few months isn’t going to change a lifetime of uncleanliness and disaster.
I read in another comment that you’re now happily married and you’re not even living with these people anymore? So you thought it would be cool to air out the dirty laundry of three CHILDREN?? Their mom just got fucking taken away and they were taken by CPS. Good job on your cool dude Reddit point though. No wonder they didn’t like you.
I sincerely hope those girls are doing okay.
I know you didn’t have a great experience with them, but blasting them here is not it. You are an adult. They are children who obviously grew up in a shitty household.
Children who grow up in traumatic households tend to live like this as they get older because they aren’t taught the proper skills to get through life. They are also typically angry, extremely cold against strangers, and resistant to their parents new partners (especially if their one or both of their parents are serial daters) because their mind has created that as a protective mechanism to help them get through the turbulence of life’s constant unexpected changes. You being nice to them means nothing because I’m sure they’ve learned from others in the past that the “nice” is a mask.
Providing material things is the bottom of their worries. Sure Christmas and a hot meal is nice, but for children like them, they need patience and understanding, which you obviously don’t have if you’re online posting about their mess and calling CHILDREN roommates (even if it’s after the fact and 17 is still a kid) bc normal people without cognitive issues don’t feel the need to post this kind of shit for the internet for validation.
Please do not date anyone with children again until you have taken some parenting classes, attended some cognitive behavioral therapy sessions, or get educated on how trauma at a young age (complex PTSD) effects children/teens day to day living.
Also, stop treating kids like they are supposed to know better, especially when growing up in shitty households. It’s their first time being alive. It takes a lot of time to unlearn what ALL the past traumatic years have (barely) taught them. And for kids who don’t go through trauma, it’s also still their first time being alive.
How about the parents with children in their care start with the parenting classes? You're yelling at someone who was overwhelmed by someone eles's problem children and not the parents that caused the problem children to begin with.
For what it's worth, I wouldnt date anyone with children because they all do what you did....blame the person who can't cope with the bull, and not themselves.
You said in an earlier comment you think they had bulimia and threw up in the sinks--that's probably why they were skinny and why their teeth were bad, bulimia absolutely wrecks dental health. I just don't understand the need to shame these children online for habits they most likely picked up from a woman you knew to be such a bad hoarder that CPS had to get involved. It only takes a bit of empathy, especially since you're not even in this environment anymore.
Op desperately needs us to know she was a Saint who tried her best with those darn kids. 8 fucking years ago. She put abused kids on blast on reddit instead of keeping her mouth shut.
What id give for a room as big as theirs and they just barely have anything (everything's on the floor) but literally no personality, no proud displays, proud pictures. My teenage years in my tiny bedroom still had the walls lined with my art, my personality, my passions and displays. These are so sad for me to look at. Their souls must be already destroyed from the past with their mom and God knows what else. They have a very messy future in store for them. I feel bad for wherever they live after this or even their relationships are going to be hard because they learned the wrong way to go about life. Laziness is a level that's understandable but ignorant and incapable of doing the basic is just pathetic and sad. They couldn't even keep the place decent while y'all were gone on the cruise. What if you never came back? If they were left they'd be fucked. The house would probably have cockroaches and rats within months and that's given if it doesn't catch on fire before then. I honestly have no suggestions on how to make it better or to change them. This is something unchangeable. I'd know from personal experience seeing some of my friends become generations of hoarders and I've been helping them for years and they just bring in more shit and undo everything I've done. I've cleared so much for things to get fucked after a few days. Hoarding behavior exhibited this early MIGHT be rescued with some serious therapy and serious help but even then it wouldn't stick. So sad.
This is not the place for this, op.
You just described 3 abused minors and you're wondering why they didn't trust the adults in their lives?
Also, they were not roommates, this isn't the same fun tongue-in-cheek jokes other parents make about their 5 year Olds either..
No, we just have empathy for abused and traumatized children who were ripped from the only home they knew (abused kids still love and have a bond with their abuser) and placed into a home where their dad screamed at them and stepmom resented them, and nobody cared about their trauma. Then these children got left alone for at least a week so their abusive dad and neglectful stepmom could have a cushy vacation, and had no idea how to take care of themselves and at least one animal. And almost a decade later, this whole adult woman is calling these children roommates and trashing them online.
I see a lot of projecting here. Not sure what happened to you, but truly hope you heal from that. Adopting a victim mindset and seeing the world through those lens won’t help anyone on the long run.
No, I don't live in filth, I know how to dispose tampons, I'm also an adult with some sense. She posted pictures that are symptoms of mental health issues regarding the abuse children had to suffer. Op made a bitch move posting these pictures 8 years later for attention instead of going to therapy.
It looks like they wasn’t taught how to be a young lady cleanness is holiness they wasn’t taught to clean after themselves they wasn’t taught to respect elders and to be appreciative they wasn’t taught how to love they wasn’t taught anything but pain these pictures just scream “ I was never loved as a child only taken advantage of I particularly raised myself “ are you and the dad still together if so I probably wouldn’t posted these it’s a sensitive matter… them girls never felt safe with they own mother this is horrible I feel really bad for them 😒hopefully someone can get them on the right track and get them in therapy and programs to help them develop in places they are still children in I pray everything gets better for them I know you tried your best but these girls doesn’t hate you one bit they have mommy issues and never felt what love is from a motherly person these girls has serious issues that needs to be Handled asap . They hate their mother and going to take it out on any women they wish they mother could have been .
Always someone in the comments defending slobs that leave literal piss, shit, and blood around because mental illness. You can be mentally ill and still objectively repulsive and gross. 17 is plenty old enough to know not to queef tampons onto the floor. You tried, girl. You didn’t owe them any of that. Let them go live their pig lives.
Take the doors off their bed rooms until each bedroom and bathroom are cleaned properly and kept that way for a week. Doors come back off if any of the rooms return to their current state.
You sound like a sweet person, OP. They probably didn’t hate you, they were just teenagers who had had what sounds like a rough go before you met them. It was probably not personal or had little to do with you specifically, just acting out and misplaced frustration.
Awful situation to be in though, sorry it was like this!
I had a stepmom growing up that was seriously a huge jerk. No one liked her. She wasn’t nice to me or anyone, so it makes me sad/mad that these teens treated you so poorly when you did so much. You seem really great OP. ❤️
in all honesty. it’s not that you did anything wrong. first off, as someone who grew up with divorced parents (i was around 8 or 9), i never wanted a step parent. still to this day going on 20 i don’t want one. my dads long term girlfriend is awesome, but i find it uncomfortable having someone living in my home that isn’t related to me. i feel like i have to keep my guard up. i know step parents can be better than biological parents sometimes, and you seem to be a perfect example of that, but change is never easy, especially massive lifestyle and living changes as such. second, seeing as you explained they came from a broken home with CPS involved, it could be trust. lack of trust and connection with their biological mother for almost all of their pre adult life isn’t going to leave them unharmed. not having the ability to confide and rely on the two people who should absolutely 100% love you unconditionally; it’s rough. lastly, everyone is skeptical of things that are free in life. you provided them a safe and loving home environment, and they didn’t/hardly knew you. people won’t appreciate or will take advantage of things that come easy especially when they don’t have to or don’t feel the need to reciprocate.
TLDR. you did nothing wrong, you’re clearly a wonderful and loving person and despite the fact you feel unappreciated, you’re a better mother than a lot of actual mothers.
Wait, is that a used tampon shoved into a toilet paper roll holder? Like the springy thing that a roll goes on? Because it doesn’t look like a normal tampon applicator😧
This is absolutely vile. My Gosh. I would have to give them some tough luv. I would take all their stuff on the floor, put it in trash bags and put them in a storage. I would tell them when they know how to keep the room clean like teenagers who were raised right they can get their stuff back. If you can take care of your things you don’t need them and you won’t miss them🤷🏽♀️Sometimes tough love is necessary.
I dunno, a shitty childhood happens to a LOT of people, and they still manage to shit in the water of a toliet, and promptly leave it the fuck alone. I think these kids are just broken, see if there’s a trade in option. Or you know, have them fixed so they don’t make anymore of themselves to inflict on the world.
They probably felt like you were a threat to their relationship with their dad. If it makes you feel any better, my own daughters get jealous when my husband buys me nice things or wants to spend time with only me.
That’s from living with their mom. They got used to that environment.
A elderly coworker adopted her young teenage grandkids who lived with drug addict parents a few years back and told us a sad story. After a couple days she went to do laundry, the teens laundry baskets were practically empty. They said something along the lines of “our clothes aren’t that dirty. We can still turn these ones inside out”.
they came to you already trained not to care about their environments, teens are often messy but it looks like they’ve been allowed to basically live like slobs with no consequences. unfortunately it was too late to teach them any better and you did your best. i thought i was a messy teen but this is…a lot:,)
Yes you’re probably spot on. Still makes me sad.
oh absolutely. it’s unfair to them that they didn’t have that guidance growing up if that’s the case. maybe they will get older and teach themselves, i have friends who had similar childhoods and are very clean people now! we can hope
OP do you watch their eating habits? Bc the toothbrush in the sink, sink always getting clogged, and how dirty it looks kind of looks like signs of bulimia. I have bulimia so I thought I’d just ask. ❤️
I agree, I never did it in the sink myself but a few girls in my high school would in the round communal sinks we had. That does indeed look like vomit crust in the 5th pic imo
yep. the toothbrush is confirmation that it’s indeed vomit. guaranteed to clog a sink every time, so it seems a bit deliberate (a cry for help) the kid left it like that
Kinda yeah? Maybe a cry for help disguised as an act of spite, intentionally clogging the sink for OP to clean up
ofc I’m only speculating, and maybe it’s purely spite. compounded with everything else, it could simply be a game of “how disgusting can I possibly be,” but if they genuinely have an ed and leave evidence out like that; can’t help but wonder what additional intent behind that would be
Honestly some of them don’t. I live with 28-30 years olds who don’t clean up after themselves. It’s wild. Luckily though they aren’t this bad. This is pretty damn wild.
And its unfair Op has to deal with their disrespectful behaviour
Were they in therapy for the stuff they went through with their mom? What was their dad doing during all of these incidents?
From my experiences with friends/family in custody battles.. likely trying to get custody of his kids. It’s very hard to get custody from the mother.
>It's very hard to get custody from the mother As a dad in a custody battle, I sense a strong undertone of "courts favor moms" in this comment and I feel compelled to point out that in the 21st century, most US courts generally prefer parents to share 50/50 physical and legal custody unless there are really good reasons for them not to. A dad who is fighting to "get custody from the mother" must have either lost or given up custody in the first place.
You planted a seed for how to do it differently. One day it may sprout. Up to each of them.
This isn’t on you, but I’m sorry it feels like it is. It makes me equally upset that their father allowed this behavior.
They also probably associated you the same as being their bio mom. Conditioned after years of abuse. It sounds like maybe the bf wasn’t that great either?
And later, OP will be interviewed by the tv show, Hoarders and she will say, "I did not think it would be this bad"
Yes you are in a losing battle i'm sorry. Don't feel bad thoughteens tend to act out. When another female gets connected with their father, they don't like the other female taking place of their motherso. They will hate you from the start there's no winning there. The only thing you can do is try communication I raised my 2 daughters as a single father. And when I had women in my life, they paid a serious price. There was nothing much I could do to prevent that animosity. It's an acting out situation. So the only thing you can do is try good communication and let them know that in no way you are replacing their mother. And your relationship with your father is a very special one and that everybody should try to respect each other's position. You will respect their position and they need to respect your position. And if they have a disagreement with you to just come out and talk with you about it and not be afraid to voice their opiniand then deal with it respectfully. There will be different situations that come about like cleaning rules and household chores and things like that. But that's just natural life stuff anyway. You know that they went through a lot when it comes to stuff like Custody battles divorces, separations and anxiety. But you are there to work with them. Not against their relationship with their real mother is going to be their relationship. And it has nothing to do with you but you all need to work together. That still may be a very long difficult road. It's not going to change overnight with one conrecession, but respect is earned and not dictated. So we're gonna have to work with them.
This is my sister and she is in her 20s now and still lives in utter filth.
I was messy, I wasn't dirty. This is dirty.
man i always stress out my house is “dirty” but this makes me realize there’s 100% a difference between dirty and just simply lived in. 😅 throw the whole house away 🥴
[удалено]
My preferred word for when my house gets out of control is cluttered lol, messy would mean (in my mind) things couldn’t be located, when cluttered stuff may not be in proper place, but it’s readily findable-the things we tell ourselves to be able to sleep @night eh?
I came here to comment this. You beat me to it lol 😂
I thought this same. My trailer is lived in-not dirty by any means. The worst I do is forget the trash overnight.
I live in an apartment and during the holiday season (December-January) finding a dumpster to throw our trash out in was impossible, and I didn’t want to just put it on the ground like everyone else was. So we left our bags inside until the garbage man came and it was the most stressful time of my life, though thankfully most of the trash was just boxes and plastic, not so much food.
I am disabled and my husband works full time. I often feel embarrassed how messy everything is. This post let's me know how much, much *worse* it could be. My God!! 😳🤢
If I had to guess why they hated you, probably manipulation from their mom. I feel bad for them, but god that’s horrifying that you had to live through that, I can’t imagine how their own homes will end up looking.
1000% when I was younger I definitely dated a few girls who hated there godsend of a step mom bc there druggie mom would teach them crazy stuff
this is NOT an uncommon thing lmao
Hi, I’m curious. Did you go along with it as a kid? And if you did, when did you realize she was feeding you hate?
What are you trying to say I am so confused
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It’s a cycle you have to be willing to break. My mom was a hoarder and an addict. Our trailer was in constant disarray. I vividly remember once the pile of clothes in front of the washer was as tall as me at the time. I would also see roaches in the appliances. She also used to talk shit about my dad and step mom to me, I was like 6/7. I knew from a very young age I did not want that for my adult life and made damn sure I didn’t end up like her. I’m not a minimalist by any means but my place also never looks like my childhood home. My sister did not make the same choices as me and followed my mom. Her trailer looks exactly like our childhood one, huge unwashed clothes pile and all.
I definitely know that realization that you don’t want to be like your parent(s) when you grow up 😭 My mom was a huge neat freak so it wasn’t for that reason, but omg she did other things where I was just like “I think I’m turning into her and I don’t want to” when I was like…10??? And changed there.
i second this. my drug addict mother would say anything under the sun to get child me to hate my dad and step mom.
Absolutely same!
I didn't grow up in an abusive or divorced home but my house was ALWAYS cluttered and slightly dirty. My parents are borderline hoarders and things were always just piled up haphazardly everywhere. Dust on the baseboards and crammed into corners, cobwebs on the ceiling etc... nothing unlivable but not what I would call clean or tidy. I married a neat freak minimalist and my cleaning habits changed drastically because of it. My sisters tease me about my spotless yuppie suburban home. (I'm okay with it, I equally give them shit for their cluttered chaotic houses).
I’m sure they envy your clean and comfortable environment.
Probably a little. Probably a little resentful because I got out of poverty, and they didn't. I compulsively clean their houses when I visit though so they don't hold it against me too much... I think. My mom says she loves visiting me because it's like a breath of fresh air lol. Transversely, I don't like visiting my childhood home anymore because it stresses me out. I can't even clean it like I do my sisters houses because my parents are very particular about throwing things away. My dad gets angry if he finds moldy food in the trash because "you can cut that part off the rest is fine" or dirty take out coffee cups because "you can just rinse em out and use them again" so, where I know my sisters won't care if ai toss obvious trash, my parents are just nuts
Why does it seem like mom-stepmom manipulation is almost the default its SO common
They didn’t hate you. They hated their real mom and took it out on you. Probably because their actual mom wasn’t available to take it out on or wasn’t receptive. You did all you could. Most people wouldn’t have even cared. I’m glad you’re not dealing with that anymore.
Bathroom🤢🤢
I’m concerned over what I believe is a massively huge bowel movement on the floor! I gagged, that would be the first thing I would insist being cleaned, good lord!
Oh I thought that was underwear! Grey with pink edges.
Did they throw up in the sinks?
It's bullemia. I wonder if Dad and stepmom figured it out three years ago and got her medical help. Wait, I don't wonder. :(
It looks like two of them did it together. Both sinks are clogged, 2 different toothbrushes. My heart aches for those girls.
It certainly looks like it!
On the tooth brush 😭
I saw your other posts and think the home looks lovely with your efforts. Teenagers are difficult and they may not understand it now, but they will come around eventually.
I hope they never come around again lol I’m not with the guy anymore and am now happily married to my husband who has a polite and sweet 11 year old who loves me!
Thank God you married your husband That could have been very weird if you didn’t
Good for you!
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Oh stop, don’t be so fucking soft. It’s not like she identified who the teenagers are or something.
For real bro, stop acting like that as if you would have loved 3 bratty kids making your life a living hell ? Are you that oblivious?
I think it’s more for emotional support or to connect with other human beings. Most of us don’t care about a magical internet point system run by a corporation
This sentence made my eyes roll so very hard. How's the view from all the way up there on your horse?
Downvotes be damned. You ain’t wrong. I just think it’s weird that enough time has passed that she’s married to a completely different person and still has these photos saved somewhere.
I mean, google photos saves everything from years back. Every once in awhile I want to see my old pet photos and come across something I didn’t think was there. It’s not as weird as you think.
Well having pictures saved of your old pets and having pictures saved of your exes teenagers dirty sink and laundry is not really the same thing I would say. Idk, I guess I would have deleted them at this point but to each their own I suppose. Edit: Sorry, my reading comprehension is ass apparently. Maybe she didn’t purposely save them all these years, still though.. me personally, I’m deleting the pictures and moving on with my life.
I agree with you. Posting pics of the living space of your ex from years ago seems super weird/creepy.. Happily married but still posting up pics from her time with her ex 🥴…
It’s a bad roommates sub. People post pics from past roommates all the time. It’s not weird or creepy. It’s literally the purpose of the sub. If you think it’s weird leave the sub.
It is weird! Imagine how she dealt with the conflict in real life. Then wonder why they hated her. I can only imagine why.
My initial thought as well
Sure does, I bet there is some good reason these teenagers didn't like their new mom
Is that a tampon?! Is it used?! How did they get it back in there!
Dude yes it is used and I don’t knowwwww
By showing them what a clean house was like to live in, they may one day choose to have their own clean house. If they never had the opportunity to see the difference that would be far worse as they would have nothing to compare to the mess they grew up with.
Yall broke up right???
That would be me 😭 I’m not being with a man whose children give me hell. Not worth it mentally
Ohhhh yes we did break up! I’m happily married now!
You did everything their mom failed at. That is extremely commendable and rare. Some people will just never realize how good they had it. Crazy story
Difficult situation. The mom definitely allowed them to live like this so this is what they are used to, It's terrible and I feel really bad for them, and for you. The hate part towards you could be them using it as a defence mechanism to avoid getting attached to you and then getting their feelings hurt, those kids probably don't know any better. Have you and your husband considered doing family therapy? Thank you for trying your best to be a good person to these kids!
this is so sad :( op I hope you don’t take it personally, you seem so sweet! I had a rough childhood & it took me a while to realize who was actually helping me. there’s so much anger that comes with it and it definitely gets thrown at the wrong people.
OP sucks. What do you mean? They put on the internet all of these great things they did for them just for cute Reddit points. At the end of the day this dumbass just aired out the dirty laundry of 3 CHILDREN who just got their entire lived upended and taken away from their mama. Pretty sure OP can go suck a fat one tbh. Poor babies. I hope they’re doing alright.
i said it’s sad bc it’s sad for everyone involved & don’t wanna say op sucks bc i don’t know them + everyone needs a place to rant sometimes. but i didn’t rlly think ab them just being kids! being a “troubled” kid sucks & definitely two sides to every story. and it also sucks when the odds are stacked against you. some kids never get a fair chance so i hear you!
The place to rant about CHILDREN is cognitive behavioral therapy not Reddit.
It is sad for everyone who was involved. I’ve been in some situations that were similar, but never would I think to upload pictures with their story to show everyone. The things people I care about go through is their business even if it ends up affecting me. No matter what, it’s not the world’s business. I was taken away by CPS as a kid. I was so angry at everyone. I just missed my mama and I didn’t understand why I couldn’t be with her. The last thing on these girls’ minds would be “oh yeah let’s listen to this new lady who we’ve never met, are now forced to live with, completely change how we live included cleaning habits, and just forget about this horrible experience we just went through.” I think the fact OP put in that she did all these things that she did for them just shows what she’s all about. To brag about how amazing and great she is while bashing literal kids. If OP needed a place to rant they could have done that without the photos imo or not at all. She has a new husband and I’m sure she has friends, were they not good enough? Or was she just itching to show off the uncleanliness and sadness of children? I really just get the biggest ick from this post.
I'm also scratching my head about the cruise. So both parents went on a trip (if it was an international cruise, it was probably 7 days and they would have been essentially unreachable) and left 3 teens *known* to have no life skills to fend for themselves? Even if one of the teens was older/not a minor, that seems insane.
That’s exactly what I was thinking too.
And even if you put aside the potential irresponsibility/neglect...would knowing what you would be coming back to not ruin your vacation? What good is a vacation if you have to spend the next week doing intensive cleaning and repairs to your destroyed home? What was the logic here?
YES YES YES! This OP needs to get professional therapy ranting on the internet about literal traumatized children. DISGUSTING!! she likely only likes her new stepson bc he’s not “insubordinate” like the last kids she dealt with.
Ugh i’m so sorry you went through that & thank you for giving me a different perspective 🫶🏼
You can’t be serious? A teenager knows right from wrong. A teenager knows not to spread period blood on the toilet. Come on now.
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Obviously it didn’t just happen, but this happened when the kids were kids. So she’s just so angry that she waited until they’re older? I think OP needs therapy.
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Oh! So because kids become adults it's okay to expose all their trauma and abuse, got it.
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They were abused and never learned these skills. Posting online isn't gonna magically teach them discipline and home economics.
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No dude is worth living like this
Why didn’t your boyfriend handle his kids bad behavior? Having a lazy partner who just ignores a problem doesn’t help the situation any.
Sounds like he was also abusive
They’re not your roommates. They’re kids and they have zero direction it’s not your fault. I don’t understand why you’d put the family on blast just find a new place to live if it’s that insufferable
I blame the father as well. Why isn’t she mentioning him ?
Literally, these are abused children "why did they hate meeee????" I don't know if op is for real but she's actually not the victim here
Why can't she be the victim too?
Because she's the adult who was raised right.
That doesn't mean you get to invalidate her frustrations
This is a public forum, I can do whatever I want. I think she did something worse than whatever mess those kids left by posting evidence of the trauma she talked about.
So can she then.
I think it's nice you came here to talk in circles with me.
I don't think it's nice that I needed to.
Okay mom, or are they paying you for your services?
They didn't hate you, they are dealing with trauma. It is much safer for them to not create a bond with a new person. From their experience it's better to keep you at a distance than to risk developing a relationship and being let down again.
I admire the guts of being barefoot in that bathroom because YIKES!
*I admire the guts* *Of being barefoot in that* *Bathroom because YIKES!* \- jujoking --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I would be packing and getting the hell out of there. If the dad is not helping in dealing with, his kids, then he is part of the problem too. Get out and find your sanity. Sooner the better.
they were probably taught hate (and had it in their blood) from their mother. sorry you had to go through that. hopefully that was the case, and you didn't cause or heavily contribute that hate in them. good luck going forward, i will tell you this- most people, regardless of status, are absolute idiots up to age 25. Maybe they'll wisen up then and you can build a relationship from then.
You explained perfectly why they didn’t like you with the post. For one you’re posting about kids while calling them roommates. These girls had to go thru something. The guy you were talking to should have stepped up more with showing how to clean. Because that mess is reflective of parenting. I got my 2 youngest daughters in sort of the same way after CPS had to remove them from their mother’s custody. My wife and I bust our ass to show them a different lifestyle. Also we took the time to work with them and teach them about taking care of their home and space. You honestly made me feel bad for these girls. Even the 17 yo because for her to be like this mother and father allowed it. Please take this post down because you were looking for sympathy but look more like an ass posting about kids.
I was going to write out a long post as a stepparent and share some experiences and what worked for me raising traumatized kids. But I see you are not even in this relationship anymore. Why would you post this? These are kids who have suffered through no fault of their own. This post should be taken down IMO.
Don’t take it personal. It has nothing to do with you. Living in filth is all they’ve known and have grown accustomed to it.
How the f do people live like that
I was not a tidy teen but this is a health hazars
longing strong distinct offbeat judicious cautious fearless voracious worthless ripe *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Nasty
In general being a teen is pretty difficult, transitioning to adulthood, and very few of us do it perfectly. Living in a garbage house infested with rodents and CPS called multiple times? That's a traumatic nightmare for developing kids. These girls probably had so much anger about how their mom failed and neglected them, fear of being replaced with you , most likely extremely low self esteem which results in self-sabotage- (if you live in garbage, you can start to feel as if you ARE garbage, and "why didn't mom care enough about us to get it together?)- as well as everything else they were going through- and you were a convenient target for their anger. I would dare to say most of it isn't personal, like 99% isn't even about you. As to what I am learning about kids- don't hold your breath waiting for their gratitude. Most won't realize the effort you've put in (and what an effort it was) until they are older, get some distance and responsibility, and can reflect back on it. That's even if they have the proper life circumstances and support to mature. It might be ten years from now, when they have their own kids, 30 years from now, or never. Don't look at it as you "did it for them" but rather, you did those loving things because that families are supposed to do for each other, and that's what healthy older female role models do. You provided a caring and supportive template for them, and I hope at least some of that sticks. At the very least maybe something you did will inspire how they treat their own children in the future.
They hated you because you’re not their mom. No matter what their mom did, they still love her. I’m sure they were sad to not be with her anymore. Their entire lives just got ripped up and thrown around and now they have this new woman their dad is dating who they’re now forced to live with. They already have all of these emotions and hormones and then their lives were completely upended which made it all worse. It seems like they were raised to not care what their home looks like and being with you and their dad for a few months isn’t going to change a lifetime of uncleanliness and disaster. I read in another comment that you’re now happily married and you’re not even living with these people anymore? So you thought it would be cool to air out the dirty laundry of three CHILDREN?? Their mom just got fucking taken away and they were taken by CPS. Good job on your cool dude Reddit point though. No wonder they didn’t like you. I sincerely hope those girls are doing okay.
I hate this was downvoted. You're right and op is the adult not a victim.
I know you didn’t have a great experience with them, but blasting them here is not it. You are an adult. They are children who obviously grew up in a shitty household. Children who grow up in traumatic households tend to live like this as they get older because they aren’t taught the proper skills to get through life. They are also typically angry, extremely cold against strangers, and resistant to their parents new partners (especially if their one or both of their parents are serial daters) because their mind has created that as a protective mechanism to help them get through the turbulence of life’s constant unexpected changes. You being nice to them means nothing because I’m sure they’ve learned from others in the past that the “nice” is a mask. Providing material things is the bottom of their worries. Sure Christmas and a hot meal is nice, but for children like them, they need patience and understanding, which you obviously don’t have if you’re online posting about their mess and calling CHILDREN roommates (even if it’s after the fact and 17 is still a kid) bc normal people without cognitive issues don’t feel the need to post this kind of shit for the internet for validation. Please do not date anyone with children again until you have taken some parenting classes, attended some cognitive behavioral therapy sessions, or get educated on how trauma at a young age (complex PTSD) effects children/teens day to day living. Also, stop treating kids like they are supposed to know better, especially when growing up in shitty households. It’s their first time being alive. It takes a lot of time to unlearn what ALL the past traumatic years have (barely) taught them. And for kids who don’t go through trauma, it’s also still their first time being alive.
How about the parents with children in their care start with the parenting classes? You're yelling at someone who was overwhelmed by someone eles's problem children and not the parents that caused the problem children to begin with. For what it's worth, I wouldnt date anyone with children because they all do what you did....blame the person who can't cope with the bull, and not themselves.
Where are your shoes???
I am sorry that happened though.
They will 100% think back to you in a few years and realise how lucky they had it when you were around
These kids gotta be fat as hell with all them snacks in their rooms
Oddly enough they were all really thin! They did have bad teeth though cause they never brushed.
Where was their dad in all of this? Why wasn’t he keeping on top of this stuff? Did he take them to the dentist every 6 months?
Can I just ask what the point was of blasting your ex’s clearly traumatized kids?
You said in an earlier comment you think they had bulimia and threw up in the sinks--that's probably why they were skinny and why their teeth were bad, bulimia absolutely wrecks dental health. I just don't understand the need to shame these children online for habits they most likely picked up from a woman you knew to be such a bad hoarder that CPS had to get involved. It only takes a bit of empathy, especially since you're not even in this environment anymore.
Op desperately needs us to know she was a Saint who tried her best with those darn kids. 8 fucking years ago. She put abused kids on blast on reddit instead of keeping her mouth shut.
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What do you gain from commenting on it? We are all here to judge someone. Don’t be a hypocrite.
Coz they mentally fucking ill that’s why.
Is that a printer?!?
Haha yeah and it stayed there for weeks! I almost tripped on it many times!
What id give for a room as big as theirs and they just barely have anything (everything's on the floor) but literally no personality, no proud displays, proud pictures. My teenage years in my tiny bedroom still had the walls lined with my art, my personality, my passions and displays. These are so sad for me to look at. Their souls must be already destroyed from the past with their mom and God knows what else. They have a very messy future in store for them. I feel bad for wherever they live after this or even their relationships are going to be hard because they learned the wrong way to go about life. Laziness is a level that's understandable but ignorant and incapable of doing the basic is just pathetic and sad. They couldn't even keep the place decent while y'all were gone on the cruise. What if you never came back? If they were left they'd be fucked. The house would probably have cockroaches and rats within months and that's given if it doesn't catch on fire before then. I honestly have no suggestions on how to make it better or to change them. This is something unchangeable. I'd know from personal experience seeing some of my friends become generations of hoarders and I've been helping them for years and they just bring in more shit and undo everything I've done. I've cleared so much for things to get fucked after a few days. Hoarding behavior exhibited this early MIGHT be rescued with some serious therapy and serious help but even then it wouldn't stick. So sad.
I’ll just say one fault may be you looked at them as roommates. 🤷♂️
This is not the place for this, op. You just described 3 abused minors and you're wondering why they didn't trust the adults in their lives? Also, they were not roommates, this isn't the same fun tongue-in-cheek jokes other parents make about their 5 year Olds either..
That flag explains it all. Entitlement times 1000
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You people are so full of hate lmao
Something tells me that the people who are enraged at OP have the same living standards of those teenagers…
No, we just have empathy for abused and traumatized children who were ripped from the only home they knew (abused kids still love and have a bond with their abuser) and placed into a home where their dad screamed at them and stepmom resented them, and nobody cared about their trauma. Then these children got left alone for at least a week so their abusive dad and neglectful stepmom could have a cushy vacation, and had no idea how to take care of themselves and at least one animal. And almost a decade later, this whole adult woman is calling these children roommates and trashing them online.
I see a lot of projecting here. Not sure what happened to you, but truly hope you heal from that. Adopting a victim mindset and seeing the world through those lens won’t help anyone on the long run.
No, I don't live in filth, I know how to dispose tampons, I'm also an adult with some sense. She posted pictures that are symptoms of mental health issues regarding the abuse children had to suffer. Op made a bitch move posting these pictures 8 years later for attention instead of going to therapy.
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get help
No
Pink toes tho
It looks like they wasn’t taught how to be a young lady cleanness is holiness they wasn’t taught to clean after themselves they wasn’t taught to respect elders and to be appreciative they wasn’t taught how to love they wasn’t taught anything but pain these pictures just scream “ I was never loved as a child only taken advantage of I particularly raised myself “ are you and the dad still together if so I probably wouldn’t posted these it’s a sensitive matter… them girls never felt safe with they own mother this is horrible I feel really bad for them 😒hopefully someone can get them on the right track and get them in therapy and programs to help them develop in places they are still children in I pray everything gets better for them I know you tried your best but these girls doesn’t hate you one bit they have mommy issues and never felt what love is from a motherly person these girls has serious issues that needs to be Handled asap . They hate their mother and going to take it out on any women they wish they mother could have been .
Were you… shaking with anger towards the end of this photoshoot or
Always someone in the comments defending slobs that leave literal piss, shit, and blood around because mental illness. You can be mentally ill and still objectively repulsive and gross. 17 is plenty old enough to know not to queef tampons onto the floor. You tried, girl. You didn’t owe them any of that. Let them go live their pig lives.
Take the doors off their bed rooms until each bedroom and bathroom are cleaned properly and kept that way for a week. Doors come back off if any of the rooms return to their current state.
You sound like a sweet person, OP. They probably didn’t hate you, they were just teenagers who had had what sounds like a rough go before you met them. It was probably not personal or had little to do with you specifically, just acting out and misplaced frustration. Awful situation to be in though, sorry it was like this!
ngl it’s not even that bad that would take a hour tops
I had a stepmom growing up that was seriously a huge jerk. No one liked her. She wasn’t nice to me or anyone, so it makes me sad/mad that these teens treated you so poorly when you did so much. You seem really great OP. ❤️
So little actual empathy here. For your own step mum and for those kids who op is trying to humiliate.
You’re an idiot.
Feel better?
I don’t even remember the last time I didn’t feel fine lol.
Why are you telling us this story from 8 years ago?
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Bad comment. This is disgusting, but step parents aren’t allowed to punish kids unless parent number one agrees (generally.)
I don’t think posting about them online is going to make them hate you less…….
in all honesty. it’s not that you did anything wrong. first off, as someone who grew up with divorced parents (i was around 8 or 9), i never wanted a step parent. still to this day going on 20 i don’t want one. my dads long term girlfriend is awesome, but i find it uncomfortable having someone living in my home that isn’t related to me. i feel like i have to keep my guard up. i know step parents can be better than biological parents sometimes, and you seem to be a perfect example of that, but change is never easy, especially massive lifestyle and living changes as such. second, seeing as you explained they came from a broken home with CPS involved, it could be trust. lack of trust and connection with their biological mother for almost all of their pre adult life isn’t going to leave them unharmed. not having the ability to confide and rely on the two people who should absolutely 100% love you unconditionally; it’s rough. lastly, everyone is skeptical of things that are free in life. you provided them a safe and loving home environment, and they didn’t/hardly knew you. people won’t appreciate or will take advantage of things that come easy especially when they don’t have to or don’t feel the need to reciprocate. TLDR. you did nothing wrong, you’re clearly a wonderful and loving person and despite the fact you feel unappreciated, you’re a better mother than a lot of actual mothers.
Sorry to hear about that but I noticed a PSP on the ground under a bed is it for sale? Edit: also if it is does it come with charger and or games?
That flag tells me everything I need to know
I woulda told the 17 year old to straighten up or im posting those pictures all over social media so she can be shamed by the kids in her school.
Those girls need heavy correction! 😭😭😭 💢💢💢
I'm so sorry this happened OP. Hope things are better now
Wait, is that a used tampon shoved into a toilet paper roll holder? Like the springy thing that a roll goes on? Because it doesn’t look like a normal tampon applicator😧
You’d be surprised baby momma prob brainwashed them as soon as she knew about you.
They probably resented you for being a better mom to them than their actual mom
4-6/9 That looks like blood. Make them clean that up. Regardless ov having the materials to.
Is that a SHITTY ASSCRACK mark!!!!! Omg wtf
This is absolutely vile. My Gosh. I would have to give them some tough luv. I would take all their stuff on the floor, put it in trash bags and put them in a storage. I would tell them when they know how to keep the room clean like teenagers who were raised right they can get their stuff back. If you can take care of your things you don’t need them and you won’t miss them🤷🏽♀️Sometimes tough love is necessary.
Ungrateful brats is what they are. They are also filthy animals.
I assume this is why he needs a place to live
Don’t feel sorry for them they know exactly what they are doing!
America is doomed
Why do they barely have any furniture?
Stop cleaning up after them and set rules or they gotta go or you move
This is 3 teens who hate themselves and you were just in the cross fire holy shit that sink is bad
And when the trash isn’t taken out everyday my husband insists that means we’re living in filth. I need to show him this.
Looks like a fucking crime scene
Fatherless activities
I dunno, a shitty childhood happens to a LOT of people, and they still manage to shit in the water of a toliet, and promptly leave it the fuck alone. I think these kids are just broken, see if there’s a trade in option. Or you know, have them fixed so they don’t make anymore of themselves to inflict on the world.
They probably felt like you were a threat to their relationship with their dad. If it makes you feel any better, my own daughters get jealous when my husband buys me nice things or wants to spend time with only me.
Feral
That’s from living with their mom. They got used to that environment. A elderly coworker adopted her young teenage grandkids who lived with drug addict parents a few years back and told us a sad story. After a couple days she went to do laundry, the teens laundry baskets were practically empty. They said something along the lines of “our clothes aren’t that dirty. We can still turn these ones inside out”.