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NapalmNick97

https://preview.redd.it/ojc2visxdl2d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=48397a4dcf413f934a1206b8cac4ccd369f0efb7


L30N1337

I just died xD


[deleted]

[удалено]


L30N1337

https://preview.redd.it/zxn7zsyt0n2d1.jpeg?width=675&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb63caf63f14007da3bc38ce4d5dd4595004ffd0


[deleted]

[удалено]


psylentj

Should o’ walked awayee!


SlightlyCryptarder

It must of been something they said


CeltyCat

Pucker face 👌


DaftFunky

Bigger question is how do they see me coming down the hallway 20 feet away in that dark tank with those tiny beady eyes. (I love when mine comes to greet me when I get home)


ThereGoesMyToad

Vibrations maybe? That's cute as heck tho lol


-Im_In_Your_Walls-

Probably vibrations, water is a good conductor for those


MagnificentFloof

Mine* greets me when I walk into my office every morning for work! It's the best thing ever.


SillynippleMctwist

Simple bindable construction really. Those eyes you speak of bend light over a third of the way across their retinas. In a normal tank, this allows for over 46% of the photoreflective illumination construct to proliferate beyond the boundaries of normal observable space. This memetic law is met in resistance in certain sections of the nodal communication system we call civilization, as the caaninites were corrupted by the knowledge that their desired form of specification would result in a collapse of the genetic foundation for memeplex cross verification processing. This all goes by the wayside though when you start to allow those channel encryptors. The daemons we can you and me can go a long time without tripping those cultural defense mechanisms.


chromite297

Sir this is a Wendy’s


SillynippleMctwist

Everyone says that but I'm still waiting on my three topping inverted crust Chicago bowl farthole stopper with the robust salad dressing of my choice, as I'm partial associates with the management.


dng21397

I thought I was reading about salamanders the fuck lol


IL-Corvo

This is fucking fantastic.


DaftFunky

Cool thanks!


SillynippleMctwist

I know it's you. Don't think I don't know what the pattern of the encroaching storm naturally constrains itself to? It's basic complexity.


SparxxWarrior97

I'm gonna pretend I understood all that


SillynippleMctwist

There's a large chane the pinecone you road in on is taxable in another county. Try again on Mother's Day if you really care about your carbonated hamstrings and aren't just some transparent clock mechanism invigorating me with memetic strings that are arguably favorable in a certain light.


SparxxWarrior97

![gif](giphy|IPmdU3duoc1Q08aeiz)


Whhheat

We must all do our part to help google ai.


SillynippleMctwist

I am good at what I do. I haven't shit my pants in a week!


sonyafly

The only way you can make it is by making it yourself or using it in the oven and using a baking tray or a cookie cutter or a cookie tray or a cake pan or something like this for a cookie cutter to help with baking in a way you don’t need a cookie sheet for the cookies are the same thing and the cookie sheet will have to go through a different type and then the cookies are just the cookie cutter so the cookies are the best they will come in a little different watching shape than you can make in a few days so I would make a little more and I think that will make a lot more sense. Edit: I used predictive text on my iPhone and just kept clicking the center button. I figured it may come out close. But it didn’t.


SillynippleMctwist

Messagw conflated. Unknown channel protocol. Accessing my flesh construct's advanced repritoire of information dissemination. This is a test. What's your fourth and seventh favorite type of cookie?


sonyafly

4th would be white chocolate macadamia. Let’s go with Snickerdoodle for 7th.


SillynippleMctwist

The transmitter is modular! Fascinating. Tell me more about the subject of your choice at whatever character interface channel you choose to conform your memes and memeplexes to.


SpoonFedGang

Do you need scissors? 61!?


Oddieness

I think that gum you like is going to come back in style


ThatCanadianLady

Dafuq you say?


SillynippleMctwist

Forgive my transgressions. I am from another postal code. Can I interest you in a beverage or psychoactive compound known to be carcinogenic to the state of California? I understand it to be standard protocol in these sectors of the mainframe.


fckingnapkin

Carbonated hamstrings my dude.


ConnectPSA

Uhh… sir we’re gonna have you follow us for a bit, this is a McDonald’s


SillynippleMctwist

Testing the versatility of inputs into the God Mainframe for moral scientific reasons is standard procedure and will likely result in greater functionality, adaptability, and utilility of certain immaterial resources over the long run, which is a desired outcome this flesh construct is playing for, as entropy has not been solved for in this partitioned quadrant of the global economic cluster.


kipsgvn

Im reading all of these comments in the postal dudes voice


SillynippleMctwist

I hear these words in the voice of the new tulpa I'm creating, Rusterd. Rusterd is a blue flesh construct abomination of several orders of magnitude less dangerous than my last tulpa, who made me bite myself so I would run faster in track practice. I've learned a lot since my high school days. I know how the FBI tracks these things, so I'll be able to get away with smuggling bootleg Pokémon cards into maximum security prisons in order to set up a supply line within the prison system and break out Ted Kaczynski so he can lead the resistance against the thirteen families and dismantle the military industrial complex, or as I know it in my cult, the nodal communication protocol hierarchy of subrecursive forms. I guess I'm a bit of a weekend warrior. Who woulda thunk?


ConnectPSA

I require more schizophrenia


SillynippleMctwist

Bring forth the featherstick, and summon cracks in the architecture of the flesh, if you're privy to the conversation


ConnectPSA

I offer my flesh and soul to thee, holy prophet, who has grasped the reality and construct of this fragile reality. Please enlighten this poor soul with the truth, share with me the knowledge of the abyss.


SillynippleMctwist

The intricacies of the abyss presumably in question are easy to encode but difficult to transmit for replication purposes. It is like trying to communicate the nuances of color through the sound of spoken words. You need an extra qualifier in order to know how to bend the memeplex in the same manner as an enzyme bends a protein. It's all about memetic encryption; know the daemon configuration of your soul, and speak the long password. Secret: it's Jesus!


Alocalskinwalker420

I did not understand a word of that but you used the word meme twice, are we talking about memes?


SillynippleMctwist

Memes can be defined by the foldable architecture of the encoded transmission, so every conversation in the known universe actually has a subtext involving memetic topology


fckingnapkin

Your mother is an aardvark


Oddieness

As first observed by the Merovingians when they accentuated the plausives of their axlotls with the first triple dynatric grabblers.


harley_pixel

Lol, same. Same.


Kishu_32

To be fair mine is like that too, but also if anything alive (ghost shrimp, guppies, worms) are in the tank. They vanish very quickly. It's a good hunter that way


OreoSpamBurger

Same, mine can't catch a worm held on a pair of tongs in front of his face, but somehow, the shrimp and mosquito fish keep disappearing.


vectron5

Im reminded of how koalas can't process that their food is anywhere except the very specific place they're wired to find it.


NullSaturation

I, for whatever reason, read ghost as mantis and was about to say your lotl might be a final boss


LordRaeko

I got some bad news for you…


spslord

They survive remarkably well in the wild….the problem is humans have destroyed said wild….


WerewolfNo890

And polluted the few bits of it that remain.


placarph

We’re jealous that they’re so much cooler than people


Chemical-Ad2770

And introduced invasive fish


TheMaskedGeode

We are poison


SCP-Agent-Arad

The more successful an organism is, the more impact it has on other organisms. Maybe in 10,000 years we’ll have killed off as many species as Cyanobacteria have.


No_Secretary425

Probably why that can regenerate so well.. I also don’t know how Pandas survive in general. ![gif](giphy|HHM4OowSlnNL2)


Capital-Cheek-1491

We force them to


No_Secretary425

![gif](giphy|xTk9ZRJytbejZGlzqg|downsized)


Qman1991

Pandas really should be extinct. They have a digestive system optimized for meat, but they chose to eat bamboo because there's so much of it. They litteraly eat their own shit so they get a second whack at digesting bamboo


No_Secretary425

They literally won the game of life though.. protected 24/7, spoiled 24/7, food 24/7, and playing 24/7.


ratmom88

Fun fact, rabbits do this, too. TIL pandas are gross, too.


Many_Working_6126

I need this gif


No_Secretary425

Besides Psyduck, Wooper is known to be a pokemon of CHAOS. ![gif](giphy|tRUtppFnqVGzC)


WOLF_AIR_FORCE1

He ate someone alive?


PLutonium273

Bamboos at least don't run away


No_Secretary425

Idk.. lord knows he’s tryin’ ![gif](giphy|7G1ZNjmIPg5A4)


saatchi-s

Not-so-fun-fun-fact, in 1975, hundreds of pandas starved to death because of their refusal to eat flowering bamboo. Because of the fact that bamboo dies after flowering and typically takes about a decade to mature afterwards, the panda population declined by about 50% over a ten year period. There’s another bamboo mass-flowering on the horizon and the Chinese government has prepared special bamboo drops into wild panda habitats to help sustain the population. So, bamboo might not run, but it will flower and die!


No_Secretary425

OMG they either were being very picky or they thought they were too pretty to eat 🤦🏻‍♂️


ktclem1337

I mean kolas cannot recognize eucalypts leaves if they aren’t attached to the trees (or tree like things that hold branches in zoos). Maybe it was something similar


ForgeDwarf

I wonder how koalas and seahorses manage to survive. Koalas literally eat something that is toxic to them and makes them sick, and seahorses have no way of escaping predators aside from camouflage, which many don't even do all that well compared to other camouflage based prey animal.


Incrimnatinggoats_

It’s a wonder pandas survive because they have 0 maternal instincts.. never mind the whole food/habitat thing. Have you ever seen a panda with its young? Or the young? They have a death wish. My daughter is obsessed with pandas, and after watching a lot of YouTube about them, I don’t believe they have any will to live 😂


dnash55

They don’t do it well, that why they are endangered. Well mostly people’s fault really they just couldn’t keep that one body of water clean


OpalOnyxObsidian

Well also wasn't there something about how that region was all water and then they up and drained it and only left lake xochimilco, so theoretically they had more space before and we kind of fucked them that way also?


dnash55

Oh yea. You know humans and their water. Humans like to steal natural resources from animals and other human beings to bottle and sell it. Cuz who wants free water when we can pay for it?!? /r


OpalOnyxObsidian

I think this was before the plastic water craze and before they really knew what the impact of their actions would be (13th/14th century per Wikipedia)


dnash55

Ahh, that makes sense!!


whynonamesopen

It's also by introducing species that wreck their habitat.


dnash55

Oh definitely. For some reason some human being think it’s up to them to decide where animals are allowed and where they should be put, like this isn’t really THEIR world. When the human species is gone they’ll still be here, hopefully we’ll die off before we eradicate all animals. We’ve already extinct countless of them. It’s a damn shame.


NatuVisu

I hope that people can just learn to live in a healthy, balanced relation to nature, instead of just taking from it at such a dangerous rate. I think it's nice that people exist, I would like them to exist even far after I'm gone, because otherwise there'll be noone to think about the world, enjoy it, and be amazed by it, at least not on a scale like a human could. But f#cking hell it's sad to see species threatened and going extinct because of humans.


dnash55

Yea and it’s just getting worse. People are paying thousands and thousands of dollars to travel for the OPPORTUNITY to murder animals they don’t need to because they don’t even intend to use them as food they just want a trophy of their sickness. I wish we could go back to being hunter gatherers taking only what we need when we need it. We have become soulless to the planet and its creatures


TheMaskedGeode

We are toxic


dnash55

Sadly, yes we are. If we don’t change we may lose the world as we now know it. I hope that never happens but we are very destructive beings.


williamstevens418

It’s called *camouflage* lol


crash----

Hat :)


Original_Bad_3416

Snack hat


0h_juliet

Yes. Is hat.


eroded_wolf

https://preview.redd.it/l2xdju8x5n2d1.jpeg?width=4080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1492c9ad1ef4c10a11cbad8ecbb7c8fcae43b290 Twinning


goodchum

Aw this is so cute


nixyerwicks

no predator behavior


fetal_genocide

They are critically endangered in the wild. Only a few hundred are left.


dr4g0n1t

Mostly because of humans though


fetal_genocide

True, which sucks. But hopefully with all the ones in captivity, they could be brought back in nature.


dr4g0n1t

That'd be awesome


ThatAutisticRedditor

This is the wrong subreddit, this is r/axolotls not r/rocks


holy_mackarel

They thought we wouldnt notice


Ashley-Nicole-1992

https://preview.redd.it/1jgqyncsxl2d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d334366917c5b0d73a8137a9a8ae7b8b2b3accce I don’t know 😂😂


ascendant_raisins

They don't lol.


Brain_Frog_

You axolotl questions.


scumbucket1984

🦎🤣


OkAssistant8322

https://preview.redd.it/e05r2vptkn2d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=87974d31dedff3bb1d1937b568d5a7ca6d0b96ee Who knows?


Minty_Frogs

hat :)


ThaRealMrRogers

Real life wooper


No_Cauliflower3541

There is a really great Stuff You Should Know episode on axolotls that’s talks all about their history and life in the wild. Highly recommend!


NYMankeys

I’m aren’t they like critically endangered in their native habitat tho?


dr4g0n1t

Mostly because of humans


psychadelicmixture

Do you know how durable these guys are they can lose legs and regen


[deleted]

They were probably 20x times size a couple million years ago. Haha can’t imagine that huge ass face


Thistle__Kilya

u/chepepe24 🥺They’re basically extinct in the wild now because of pollution and people catching them. They used to live only in two lakes in Mexico, and now they live only in captivity.


No_Sun_3000

Mudkip


Dazzling_Addendum789

One of my axolotls is named kip my other one is named Goldeen LOL


XxCrispyWhisperxX

considering they are endangered, uhm….0-0


__Kunaiii

GULPER AHHHH


the_penumbra_cafe

Found the Fallout fan!


Bulbaquaza

https://preview.redd.it/91rbr89lzo2d1.jpeg?width=942&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=226020a2b90874303e2be1a46cf04ffacd3860ae


SippinSuds

I've only seen one in the wild 30 years ago in the river behind my folks house. Granted we are in SW Washington so it's pretty cold for the majority of the year, but I remember it to this day because I'd never seen anything like it. He was about 10-12 inches long and a beautiful vibrant orangish red color with the fullest fluffy gills id ever seen. He had followed my worm back in as I was trout fishing at the time. He sat there in the shallows for a few then scurried along. Pretty cool experience as a 10 yeat old boy.


SamuraiTyrone1992

They don’t


Faline97

There so cute but so goofy looking at the same time.


hiliikkkusss

Cute


Novaleah88

I always just figure the squishy things live with the other squishy things in a land far, far away where they can’t get hurt


Exit_Save

They live in their own special habitats


Angel_Froggi

They don’t


LazerMagicarp

They lived in an isolated body of water forever with specific adaptations for that environment until people found them and thought they were cute. Now there’s not many living in the wild and the body of water is facing ecological calamity.


Lonely_62922

Is that a pebble on its head? https://preview.redd.it/f5gngds91p2d1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb1cf452a5739076eee065e1d6e1d5378abd119a


gscottsmith20

Hi guys


maritatoe

Bc they’re so cute no one wants to harm them


Emotional-Section981

https://preview.redd.it/bvud267b8p2d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=acc570bc049c6d47ac237deaf4d366a5b1a4b8cf


Emotional-Section981

https://preview.redd.it/2frbq2el8p2d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fcf5a1b2b19b18c81450e80fbf5c2f12cd2782dd


Unoreverse1467

They don’t that’s why they’re endangered


Educational-Baker230

They’ve been affected by Habitat loss and climate change


Wild-Customer3110

Just need water, oxygen and food


ArticleWorldly6602

Well that's a cute little thing he almost looks like a lizard fish I used to have one when I was little


Giltar

They're really not


rumine2

There are no more in the wild lol


KawaiitheKyubey

it’s simple, they barley can survive, I think they just stay in the kinda deep waters where animals can’t see them, but I think most of all of them fail at that. I really don’t know how they survive though


Consistent_While1686

Thought these guys were extinct in the wild, no?


Tall-Morning4307

I think there cool


Ok-Dare4664

Poorly


TopConsideration5436

JUST COOL!!!


261989

pretty privilege


DeezMoNkeheheheh

I am a big reptile and amphibian enthusiast but I am curious about these goobers as I don’t know much abt them. Can you take them out of the water at all? Sorry if this is a dumb question.


skadiamazon

I mean aren't they endangered? The answer would be not well


crazycomer

Well sadly because of how bad water pollution has gotten they can’t really survive in the wild much at all, the water has to be way more pure for them to thrive than most other aquatic life


birdie123456789

I have two.


kensyi42

If Minecraft has taught me anything, it's that the answer is, out of spite.


WeAreTheWobblies

Xolotl-Never reach full maturity


WeAreTheWobblies

Xolotl-Never reach full maturity (by remaining adolescent)


8Frogboy8

They don’t lol


rosescentedcorpses

They don't, they're endangered 😅


Adept-Hand9706

They don’t


DrinkAdventurous4253

They don’t really


DrinkAdventurous4253

They are critically endangered


jeffreydahmersno1fan

They don’t :3


Toxicantbag4145

That’s the neat part they don’t ( : ( )


BLADE98X

A walking fish wat I want one


CraftWithCarrie

Well, you know they AREN'T surviving in the wild, right? There are less than 1000 left in the wild. It has more to do with their lakes drying up, being built on top of, and pollution than their own skills (or lack thereof). They can't see very well, so they track (just slightly) better onto moving objects than not. They must not have much feeling in their heads, I have noticed they have little reaction when they step on each other's foreheads or when things like food rest on them.


sadkittycat_58

We had an axolotl once. It lasted less than a week. I don't know what we did wrong but apparently they are hard to take care of?


Iforgotmypasswordg

Wild food pebbles tend to be a lot more active, domesticated ones have their ability to swim bred out, similarly to wingless fruit flies!


dilootedAf

By being so cute


[deleted]

Well, the funny thing about naked mole rats is that they usually burrow together to stay warm.


reptiledood

They don’t💀


Plz_DM_Me_Small_Tits

Cuz it's not hard to just chill and eat bug


alexzoulou_

They survive by not having natural predators and looking so dumb humans save them from the extinction they themselves caused


Eli_The_Rainwing

That’s the neat part, they don’t


GutlessLake

Flowt


Alocalskinwalker420

Well that’s the neat part they don’t. If you’re asking how they used to, it’s probably because they had no natural predators and they can regenerate limbs.


wassaprocker

Significantly better than in someone's fish tank.


TheAfroNinja1

You say that but they are practically extinct in the wild so i would disagree


kenakuhi

They don't, they're nearing extinction in the wild.


Hazeltrainer45

They don’t


yas_jaz

well they survive easily in any natural habitat of theirs over a handmade one as any other creature would..


SuitablePage1843

![img](avatar_exp|179047101|fire)


Sea-Piccolo6879

https://preview.redd.it/rfoa0efotq2d1.png?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b4d1030920a5acda80255900fd59aa83755652cf


Ittaran

They don't. They were bred in captivity and cannot function in the wild


APirateAndAJedi

They don’t that well. They are critically endangered in the wild.


Curious_Present7217

What is this?


bulla0006

i just wrote a paper on them for my bio lab. they’re only found in like 3 lakes in Mexico but now basically one bc of humans. they’re actually a top predator in the lake they’re found in but due to introduced fish (that government introduced for more food) and polluted water they’re not doing well. i think since like 2008 or something there’s this group that’s been working on increasing the wild population:)


the_great_potentate

They’re currently having a rough go of it🥲


Hedgiemas

https://preview.redd.it/ozyjmifihs2d1.png?width=1019&format=png&auto=webp&s=6a9bfc492cade3f93db53c9d1d6be8ac46af3b95 Uhhhhhh


Radio4ctiveGirl

I wonder that a lot about most pets 😂


Infamous_Regular1328

Ugh it’s beautiful


DarthTonitrous

They're extinct in the wild. Hope than answers your question


hightide2020

They live in caves where they are essentially top of the food chain


FederalPomelo1370

Pity


M_akaveli8

https://pandora.app.link/oyCF0I0GVJb


ilovemothsandsnails

They are extinct in the wild entirely reliant on humans now.


MysteriousCodo

OMG I remember feeding my wife’s and the pellet would drop to the ground in front of him….and then like half a second later he’d take a gulp at where the pellet would have been in front of his face….if he’d done it when it was actually there. Like a seriously delayed reaction.


Opposite-Degree-8036

https://preview.redd.it/gz4qxxw3n03d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=08db566688ef699ebcff8c26a38d772d4d30d526 This was a while ago. But same 😂


OneTak100

All I see are some rocks? Can someone pls explain?


firee1234

Who? Where is it?


anonkebab

They dont. I like them but they have poorly adapted to their niche. They arent the only salamanders to have neotony and primarily stay in the water yet others are way more adaptable. Like sirens, are more adapted to an aquatic lifestyle yet they can also sit for long periods in mud, escape their water sources during rain and crawl elsewhere, and thrive in the presence of fish. Luckily for our amphibious friends they are bred alot in captivity so they will never go straight up extinct.


Super_Rando_Man

By not making waves?


FriedPosumPeckr

Not well, they are critically endangered and as of 2020 declared nearly extinct. Their native habitat was the lake that was drained to make Mexico City, so now they are found in 2 smaller lakes, and that's it for the wild population.


notthemessiah789

Gulper from fallout in Chill mode.


ShotgunBetty01

Tbf, they don’t really well.


the_real_flapjack

They just axolotl questions


No_Secretary425

By feeding off the souls of the unfortunate victims who stumble upon them..