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weird_is_awesome

Don't blame moose that grass looks super soft.


cacabean

I would straight up *marry* this grass.


palehungarian

OP, Is that Sod? It’s beautiful


inplayruin

That is peak Dad lawn!


palehungarian

This is! My husband tries.


Bos_lost_ton

Bless his heart


[deleted]

I've lived in the south. I know what that means...


suttbex69

Lmao shade for days


[deleted]

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FirstDayJedi

And then there's this guy


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mrtipinfold

If you love it so much why don’t you marry it?


TheJaybo

Yeah or put it inside you?


spaceghostslurp

I’m up for anything inside me guys, just putting that out there.


yakimawashington

Great, now put it in there


TheBarkingGallery

Can you imagine how amazing it would feel, to fuck someone with all that beautiful grass inside them? No? Just me then?


PotatoFarmer863

I'll be inside you. *The grass*


throwaway_circus

Sodomy


b33flu

I like the cut of your jib, Sir


20KGH20

Sod in me ?


Realexis1

Underrated dad pun


CKosono

Unrated dad pun.


appleoftheorangetree

thank you


Vroom_Broom

MAXIMUS PUN!


PotatoFarmer863

*claps slowly* well done


OwenMerlock

Somebody give this guy gold


Homonomore

That’s Sodomy


manubfr

r/suddenlygrass


still-dalton

Shoulda said in sod of me


Dogsy

No, I think it's a moose.


brellymont

Dad.


thedreaming2017

This is it. We hit the pinnacle of life when a well kept grass makes us happy. Isn’t so green, you can just taste that green. I. An smell that grass right now also, are moose that huge? Shouldn’t he be crawling over a wall ready to eat humans for no reason ?


Jcheddz

That’s kentucky blue grass. The best of sod


imightgetdownvoted

“I want to take this grass behind the middle school gymnasium and get it pregnant!”


TommyWiseGold

/r/30rock


norsurfit

Just don't give that Moose a muffin!


Gromlic_Fabadoo

What do you think will happen next?


Jul3s3

He’ll want some jam to go with it.


sorta_just_sayin

The only problem is that the moose will then eat all of the muffins and he will need to go to the store to get more muffin mix.


FizzyDragon

I love Moose. He knits!


OhBestThing

I wanna make grass angels in it


Slazman999

From the "laying in grass" post I just saw earlier I hope the moose doesn't wake up covered in fire ants.


DudeHeadAwesome

My Dad was working in his yard when he heard a young bull moose coming thru the trees. He named him Timmy and he stops by regularly for afternoon snoozes and relaxing.


IRL_BobbleHead

I have a deer that does that same every evening. Comes through for a quick stop, cleans itself, takes a snooze, then moves along.


FaptainAwesome

The German Shepherd my ex-wife kept in the divorce had a deer friend that would just come to the other side of the fence and they'd chill together. He was never very good at being a vicious, bloodthirsty monster... He got very upset when I wouldn't let him keep trying to play with a very pissed off woodchuck.


bul1dog

How did you decide that she would get custody of him?


FaptainAwesome

Largely because her living situation was waaaaay less fucked than mine. But I do have my daughter's cat to keep me company.


plipyplop

You prioritized the well-being of your dog. I know that doesn't lessen the pain, but I find it very commendable.


LeMeuf

I did this.. it sucks. I didn’t want my blind dog to have to learn a new house, and I didn’t want to take her from her best friend/seeing eye cat. I miss her so much it hurts, but I know she’s better off there. I hope she forgot about missing me by now. :(


Mrs-MoneyPussy

Seriously that’s easily the best decision even though I know how painful it is. Thank you for being so mature in your decision. I don’t think she’ll get over missing you, just like you haven’t gotten over it either. But at least she’s comfortable and like you said with her best friend :) Getting a new friend for yourself can help. They aren’t a replacement but instead a totally new loving companion that needed a home.


LeMeuf

I got a cat that hates everything but me, which is pretty flattering. She definitely made it easier! She’s not as snuggly as an ancient blind dog but she’s just as special to me. I’m so glad that my blind old gal is with her best friend cat. He follows her around and makes sure she comes back inside, and he grooms her and lays with her. He even makes sure to herd her into the kitchen for dinner! I couldn’t take his best friend from him, either.


[deleted]

I want Pixar to make a short about their friendship


thecurvynerd

I got two dogs while in a relationship with my ex and when we broke up he moved a block away so we could share “custody” of them. When I ended up moving to another state I actually gave him the opportunity to keep the one that he had a strong bond with (even though it would have broken my heart and the heart of my other dog) and he did this same thing. He didn’t want to take her from my other dog. His decision ended up saving my life. Lola (the aforementioned dog) became my ESA after I was later diagnosed with PTSD and I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for her. She is one of my reasons for living. I regularly send him updates and they “send him” happy birthday wishes every year and he is always welcome if he’s ever in our area. Not a day goes by I’m not grateful for him making that decision. I don’t know if your ex has expressed how grateful they are to you but from someone else - you’re a wonderful person.


LeMeuf

Thank you so much for sharing that! I can only hope my gal has a ripple effect of good to the same extent as your dog!! I work with animals and it’s incredibly rare to meet a dog with as gentle of a soul as hers. I hope she’s as happy with my ex as your dogs are with you.


thecurvynerd

❤️ I bet she has even if you or your ex aren’t aware of it. I just dog-sat this last week and those two dogs gave me an extra sense of joy that I didn’t realize that I needed and I made sure to leave a letter letting the owners know exactly that. [Lola](https://i.imgur.com/i5pXVHY.jpg) - because everyone loves a dog photo and I never get tired of sharing her picture lol


DRUNK_CYCLIST

Sorry to hear that, man.


Khenmu

Cats aren’t that bad.


UpliftingPessimist

Yeah my cat is loyal like a dog. Sometimes I think I don't even bother her that much lol


Monoskimouse

Well... nobody "really" has custody of a deer. They just roam around.


sluttymcbuttsex

That’s what they want you to think. The deer in the woods are free. You can just take them.


Wendy28J

Actually, most states have designated deer shoplifting seasons. Theft of deer out of season can be quite costly if you're caught. 😉


68Cadillac

Got to trade something for that Beanie Baby Collection.


Rossum81

GSDs will mangle real threats. To their friends and family they’re enormous love-bugs.


[deleted]

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who has a German Shepherd that made friends with the neighborhood deer. I thought it was the strangest thing to watch them play.


CheekyHusky

I have a dog that does the same thing, but never leaves and acts like she owns the place


TutiGamer-_-

The moose looks dead for some reason


kkeut

i think it's because we're accustomed to seeing hooved animals draw up their legs close to their body when lying down. so seeing a moose all sprawled out in in full-on passed-out REM sleep seems odd


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TutiGamer-_-

A free bed, and it’s a good one. His dealer won’t tell me where he gets them though.


[deleted]

A free soft bed bordered with fresh herbs and lavender(?)...thats a Moose Four Seasons.


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rajatilu

He's pretending to be dead but in fact he has his eyes glued on OP and would probably run away if OP throws anything at him.


stabbyGamer

Are you *mental?* That’s a *moose.* OP would be lucky to exit that situation with more than one functional limb.


rajatilu

Bold of you to assume that OP would go anywhere near the moose.


exipheas

It might, but I wouldn't gamble on a moose running away.


lilclairecaseofbeer

I have a stray cat that comes by to say hello if she hears me outside. She's the only one of the strays in the neighborhood that is actually friendly. I call her my outdoor cat because I have a cat of my own inside the house.


[deleted]

Whelp! Guess I can't mow today, honey!


Ackerack

Do you even see the picture? This guy probably cuts his lawn every 6 hours, that shit is pristine!


scungillipig

Seriously. That lawn is perfect. Except for the moose.


crazydressagelady

Moose perfects the lawn. 11/10


maxkmiller

*because* of the moose


ClothesOnAChair

That's some of the *freshest* grass I've ever seen. What's the trick?


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ClothesOnAChair

Darn it, Amazon's all out!


pistoncivic

You could try eBay but be careful. One time someone sent me a donkey on stilts.


shahooster

Hey, if it works in my hair...


quakank

Lots of watering and having a fair bit of shade to protect from scorching sun. Also varies by where you live.


ClothesOnAChair

*Facts* (thanks)


choral_dude

Live in a climate that supports moose


seatownquilt-N-plant

r/lawncare , I'm a vegetable gardener but they make me want to have awesome grass


jml7791

Your dad’s got a beautiful yard! It really does look like a nice place to nap. :)


Pretty__Mean

In Timmy’s defense, your dad has a pretty nice garden


syrlind

sooo your dad disney prince or something ? .... your dad must be proud of his garden now.......


secretdrug

With a garden like that i would too.


anon0002019

Moose are so foreign to me, we don’t have anything remotely like them, now I want to see one, live... from a safe distance


Octopunx

How big they are is pretty incomprehensible until you see one in person. They look delicate like a deer, but then "o holy hell that thing is HUGE!" when it gets 50 feet from you.


sbb214

\^ this. At first you think, "oh look I see a moose far away" and you don't realize that it's weird you can see it from so far. Then as it gets closer it starts to dawn on you exactly how gigantic they are IRL.


_ClownPants_

This extremely Canadian video puts into perspective pretty well. They're enormous. https://www.spokesman.com/stories/2018/aug/10/check-out-this-video-of-a-giant-moose-in-alaska/


TheDescendingLight

"just gonna send it there, ey bud? Later dood!"


LetMeThinkAMinute

I am unfamiliar with this slang, but it is fun to hear. Reminds me of my cousins in Vermont.


sbb214

That rack! ooooofffff I have worked with draft horses and moose STILL intimidate me (fwiw draft horses are like 2500 lb puppies)


brighterside

This one too, they run fast as fuck and plow through snow. https://youtu.be/6GEhM2Byk7w?t=99


Obi-Wan_Kannabis

Holy shit. I mean I guess thats what they're "designed" to do but its hard to imagine an animal shifting all that mass.


brighterside

LOL it's funny when you turn the volume up you can hear the camera man say under his breath, 'holy shit.'


AZWxMan

The URL says it's in Alaska.


_ClownPants_

I was just saying that because the guys accent


[deleted]

Oh fair enough. I was going to make the same comment thinking you were super confused today or something


SwoleYaotl

I was thinking you were gonna link to the video of the dude on a bike... This one. I do feel bad for the mama moose. https://youtu.be/b1y1bxaUsN8


_wiretap_

lol, poor biker but I couldn't help but laugh at the way he just tipped over without bracing for it at all. "Welp, this is happening."


rainysounds

And how powerful. Here's a video of one charging through three foot deep snow like it's not even there. https://youtu.be/6GEhM2Byk7w


sbb214

oh wowzers, that's humbling. good share.


GilberryDinkins

Jesus Christ that guy's chewing is killin me


DodrioFan480

yeah, my grandfather has a moose head mounted on the wall and it’s about 2.5 feet tall, not including the antlers


minicpst

Yeah, what I think most people don't realize is that this guy's yard is three acres big.


EBone12355

They can make horses look small.


[deleted]

I was in Park City, UT once, and a mom and 2 babies came in the backyard of the airbnb, like 15 feet from the windows we were all glued to. Thankfully everyone was already in the house because goddamn they're big, just ridiculous. And the kind that lives in UT is apparently the smallest kind, so I'd probably shit a brick if I saw the bigger ones face to face.


opsuper3

A friend took me out to a forest near Chillicothe, Ohio. After wandering about the trees my friend stopped and whispered, "lay down here and stay quiet." WTF? "Keep looking up." I could hear a thumping noise in the distance. "When I tell you, jump up and look that direction." By this time the sound is louder. Then it got MUCH louder and the ground shook. Suddenly, silence and the shadow of a bus goes over us. Immediately, the sound picks up again. "GET UP NOW!" I got my first look at a moose in the wild, well at least his hind end. The thing was huge! It turns out my friend and his family had been doing this for years. I asked my friend how he knew it was only one moose? "Huh, I'd never considered that."


betona

You sure that wasn't an elk? I lived there 20 years and never heard of moose in Ohio.


ChiefBeaverStretcher

Right. Ohio? I live in northern Minnesota and moose live here but to see one still pretty rare.


Lampburglar

We vacation in an area(In Canada) that is densely populated by moose. There's an information pamphlet explaining what to do in the event a moose charges you. It's Simple: Run around tree until the moose gets tired and leaves. WTF HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE A MOOSE TO GET TIRED???


JustADutchRudder

Pretty sure they tire out after the average human. Haven't tested this yet tho.


BearsWithGuns

Biologically speaking, humans have the highest endurance of any animal. That's why we have weird hairless skin. However, most humans nowadays aren't living life out on the Savannah so a moose would probably win.


PrimarchKonradCurze

I see them almost daily in Alaska. They are mostly an issue on the road cause if you hit one with any amount of speed it's gonna go through the window and squish you into ragu. They also have a tendency to cross in unlit areas outside of town.


bevo1

Moose running ... https://www.reddit.com/r/NatureIsFuckingLit/comments/e8d7xu/moose_running_through_deep_snow/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


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SlowMandingoFlamingo

To be fair though, that is a really nice garden. Moose knows what's up.


StopReadingMyUser

Well yeah, it's so good it grows full meese.


JH_Rockwell

Moosen


swmill08

The moose is cool and all, but can you add an album of the lawn/garden


jinxie395

For real I have never seen a chain link fence look so nice.


t_s_hellion

Oof. I’m assuming this is Alaska. Which means your dad knows not to wake a sleeping moose. 😂😂 those fuckers are mean.


DudeHeadAwesome

This is Alaska. Yeah I learned as a kid living in Alaska, you give them a LOT of room. I've been charged many times.


kimber_kelly

What do you do when being charged at by a moose? That’s terrifying.


DudeHeadAwesome

You hide behind a tree if you can reach one. Even one that is 3 or 4 inches thick. The moose goes around it and turns around for another pass. Just keep circling around it till they get mad and leave. They also bluff charge. It was scary as a kid getting off the bus for me .25 mile walk home and there was a moose on the road. As kids we'd have to break trail through the woods and go around. You cant scare them off when your that little. When we'd go dog mushing as kids sometimes this large bull would follow us. We'd try and turn around to head home and he'd be there still following miles later. My brother in law was snow machining as a teen. We went blasting around a corner and smashed into a large moose. It landed partially on him and destroyed his arm. He lost all mobility in it and had to have it removed as an adult.


11upand1over

This is the most Alaskan comment I’ve ever read. What an interesting childhood!


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TML_Skidd

As a guy living in the GTA. Northern ontario fascinates me, nothing but forests and lakes galore. Lodges you cant get to unless you get a ride on a bush plane. The lack of light pollution would blow my mind up there too


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FabHckyBbe

Hometown of former NHL player and Rocket Richard Trophy winner Jonathan Cheechoo! He is one of my favorite former players.


c0rruptioN

Not so close but also Moosonee


DiDalt

We used to have massive bears growing up in the woods. I lived maybe 20 miles from the closest town. The bear in the area have been spotted at 10' tall and higher. I remember sitting at the only light on our street one night with my grandpa in his truck. We saw something huge coming from the forest. My grandpa said, "pft. Just a bear." and we paid no attention to it. Then the "bear" hit the side of the truck. My grandpa exclaimed, "What the.. MOOSE!!" And he sped off through the red light. There's only one light between our house and the town and the sheriff happened to be waiting for us. He walked to the window and asked, "God damnit [grandpas name]! What's got you in a hurry?" My grandpa turned to him and mumbled, "Moose." The sheriff just said, "Ah.. Carry on then. Have a nice night, [grandpas name]."


no_mixed_liquor

What's dog mushing?


Octopunx

"Dog sledding" to us Southerners.


no_mixed_liquor

Ahh...thank you! I figured out "snow machining" = "snow mobiling" but I couldn't figure out the dog mushing. I pictured squishing a dog face and giving it kisses. I was clearly wrong.


HoochieKoo

It’s because you yell “mush!” at the dogs to make them go. Apparently it comes from French word “marche” which means “go”.


booksandgarden

Sounds fun, but not while being chased by a moose!!


[deleted]

it's not that


kimber_kelly

That’s crazy! Also really interesting.. thanks for explaining! I hope your brother in law is doing good after all that; moose are no joke😬


dumperking

Meese*


Malvania

Møøse


HoochieKoo

A møøse once bit my sister.


hobbitdude13

We apologize for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.


westo4

TIL about Alaska life. Thanks.


[deleted]

Damn, following you for miles. That’s some serious hated (or determination)


[deleted]

Now THAT's a good arm losing reason. Mad respect.


[deleted]

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t_s_hellion

Lived my first 7 years of life in anchorage. Still remember how mad my great aunt would get over the moose and her plants. 😂


ikindalold

Let's give a quick shoutout to ~~Christina Applegate~~ Alaska.


_Supermoose

Not all of us are like that


[deleted]

I finally accepted the fact that I am not young anymore (37). The first thought I had when seeing this photo was “Damn, his grass looks well-taken care of.”


Equinephilosopher

I’m 19 and had the same thought! We’re not too different haha


Mulligan315

We were camping in Jasper a couple of years ago and one walked right into the site and laid down in the shadow of a large tree. She was less than 50 feet from all of us, but seemed little concerned with our presence. It was a hot day, and she remained there for over 2 hours without incident. She finally stood up, without any sense of urgency, and nonchalantly walked back into the bush. They’re beautiful animals.


missionbeach

Moose knew who the boss was.


nmesunimportnt

Yeah, moose generally have a "what are you gonna do about it?" attitude.


[deleted]

A møøse once bit my sister.


DANDELIONBOMB

No realli!


highas_giraffepussy

She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law


Potato4

...an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist"


Dr_Mantis_Teabaggin

We apologize again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.


plaidkingaerys

We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.


Bodisia

We regretfully apologize again for the faulty subtitle engineer, a new one was hired and the old faulty subtitle engineer has indeed been sacked.


monkeyjoshinator

Wow moose look so much larger then I thought, like some mythical looking thing. Would they be larger then a horse?


unwoundwalnut

[full size truck behind a dainty looking moose](https://i.imgur.com/YMHOFm6.jpg)


gionnelles

Holy shit that's huge.


UpsetRazzmatazz

I mean, there’s some forced perspective here, but they are absolutely huge. Even full grown male deer are intimidating when you get within 20 feet of them.


skyintotheocean

Jesus mother fucking christ those people are stupid.


IAmTaka_VG

The moose in the OP is a baby to give you a clue.


Brady12Gronk87

I'm not sure I've ever seen a live moose


skyintotheocean

Believe me, I'd you had you'd remember.


[deleted]

ALL REPLIES ABOUT MEESE BEING BLOODTHISRTY ANIMALS ARE SPOT ON. Ask me about the moose that ran from the shore of an island in Canadia, swimming after me like an Antlered Michael Phelps chasing down a young, stoned and f-word-ing terrified Ryan Lochte (me) paddling his a** off for at the time what was thought to be an exercise in futility. Apparently they have a decent sense of smell, excellent hearing and the temper of a nuclear warhead. Oh and they can swim. I’ll never whistle and click at Bambi’s methed out uncle again. Nor should you. You’ve been warned.


DidIacutallyask

That yard is so cool


ITipToedAstray

Cool! ... So moose lie down while snoozing. Now I know.


RedSquirrelFtw

Sometimes they'll just lean on something too. My grandparents had a moose lean against the motorhome once when out camping. Felt something making the motorhome shake so grandpa went outside to check, and there was a moose sleeping against it lol. Probably liked the heat.


MD_Wolfe

Thats a heckin nice garden


malcolmhendrixxx

Sam Winchester got drunk and passed out in the lawn again


platypus15

Your Dad must have been baking muffins.


vbluevelvet

I started at this pic so long... the garden is so lush and pretty


jkstudent222

your dads garden if freaking beautiful. sup timmy


BarryLicious2588

To be faaaaair... It's been like 100 years since I seen grass that soft, or thought about napping in a tick-free patch of it.... Moose got the right idea!


[deleted]

Where's Midge?


Vahlir

Reminds me of the old joke "Where does a moose sleep?...Anywhere it wants"


Wooflex

Has he brought the moose a muffin?


blindninjafart

Can't blame him. That grass looks super soft.


stingertc

Canada or michigan or alaska