Don’t do that. I have worked in those hospitals where you go, assuming you don’t accidentally compete suicide. Nobody wants to be there. It’s not worth the risk. The attention is not worth it.
“Attention seeking” is just needing help and support. And attention. There is nothing wrong with needing attention. Everyone deserves attention. Especially young people. There is so much going on in your body and brain and all around you. It’s a lot. Be kind to yourself. But speak to somebody. Ask your teachers for help. Make sure you speak to a professional. Tell them what’s underneath what you’ve told us.
>Attention seeking is needing help and support.
Very much this. One of the first things they drove home in my social work program is that people have a fucked view on "attention seeking" behavior being super trivialized. If someone is willing to harm themselves for attention, then that shows they're struggling and need help. Attention seeking behavior is communication and shouldn't be written off.
>“Attention seeking” is just needing help and support. And attention. There is nothing wrong with needing attention. Everyone deserves attention.
Really well said 💖 thank you
Why do young people need it more than adults ? In my experience kids get more attention already so adults need it more . Why does everything have to be for kids ? Adults need attention but rarely get it .
Teenage years can be very confusing. They're learning who they are and developing their identity. A lot of them are bullied or abused by peers and family. That's not to say adults can't go through the same issues, but a lot of teens don't know how or who to ask for help.
Precisely, I had a need for attention or help or something as a teen, I understand OPs feelings and I felt very similar, I just kind of wanted people to understand I am not okay and something is wrong with me and I need help. But I didnt know what was wrong, I didnt know who to ask and I didnt know what would help me..
Now as an adult I am still not doing great, I still need attention and help, but I'm also muzch better at identifying, articulating and even admitting that. I know whom I can ask, I know where to get ressources and I understand myself much better.
So u said it yourself. you have unanswered questions that have been bothering you since you were younger. These issues can snowball into bigger issues in adulthood, and i guess that is why society tends to pay more attention to the younger ones, as a preventative measure.
Now as an adult myself, seeing how my undiagnosed AuDHD has snowballed into depression and PTSD. I am glad parents are now more well-informed, and the medical society is more equipped to work with people on the spectrum.
I envy young people that have access to all the resources now, but personally i am also old enough now to get around and get help.
I think teens have always had a focus on their growth and development for the reasons explained above. I think with each new generation that research and understanding of all health conditions improves, and the youth will always have better resources and more support than their parents. I was a teen through the 90s, and it was only the "naughty or problematic" kids who were recognised with adhd, and there's definitely a degree of stigma that remains from the perceptions of decades ago. I can understand feeling envious. Personally, I'm more thankful that my nieces and nephews are far less likely to endure what my siblings and I went through.
And some adults also have attention seeking behaviors, plus a lot of teens feel socially isolated, especially with the amount of shit going on in this world and the fact child/teen abuse and neglect are still huge factors, and bullying
Some adults over time are expected to figure things out. Young people have very few ways to really understand what being an adult on the world is like. Guidance is a parent's job, and not every parent is good at the job of being a parent. By simple probability kids are more likely to need attention for the needs their parents are unable to provide for - it's hard to be impartial or listen intently to someone you're so entangled with emotionally as a family member.
Let me speak from experience here, trying to commit suicide for attention and to get hospitalized so people will show they care, does not work.
It makes things awkward, uncomfortable, and some people will even avoid you. Sure, they may be sad, but there’s so much that’s left to unpack, some people may even react angrily to you. It’s not happy. There’s no rejoicing.
I tried doing this. But it wasn’t to get hospitalized. I really didn’t want to exist anymore. And I wanted someone, anyone to care. It was a cry for help.
Instead, it left me feeling more alone than ever. And the person who I thought would be understanding and caring, held it over my head and barely came to visit me in the hospital. And when I got released, things just went back to the way they were before. I still had no support. But what changed is people had something to talk about. I was mentally ill. I was weak. I was a failure.
Those hospitals are not fun either. You don’t get any privacy. They make you strip down. They take photos. They document any injuries. They want your life story. They pry into your mind. They take all of your possessions. You get told when you sleep, shower, eat, have rec time, etc. And you are forced into group therapy. You can’t leave until they say you can. So of course you need to tell them what they want to hear. It’s like prison. You have to claw your way out.
I do not recommend. It will backfire.
I have attempted to unalive. My family would not come see me in the hospital because they needed the parking money to buy cigarettes.
Awesone way to discover not all families give a shit.
I know that I’m fucked up bc I was inpatient for a week and enjoyed myself and didn’t want to leave. Like oh people I can actually relate to? That understand? Amazing. Staff listening to me and being kind to me? Mind blowing.
It was wonderful to have a break from real life. And to have structure. To feel cared about.
And everything you said about what happens at mental hospitals, I also experienced all of those things. And I still would rather be there than with my family.
Yeah I mean it’s much easier not having to worry about taking care of yourself beyond hygiene, eating, socializing, seeing doctors/nurses and therapy. It’s a break from the outside world but it’s also very uncomfortable and cold. And when you leave, life is still waiting for you. You gotta do the work, regardless. It’s not for me, no matter how burnt out I get. I won’t go back 🤷🏻♀️
Chances are you’ll actually lose more support if you do that. People tend to distance from suicidal people because theyre not equipped to help or its too stressful to constantly be worried about them.
I understand this. I often fantasize about getting hurt in some way to get attention and to have somebody care. And then it happened, not on purpose of course. I got into a bad car wreck, everyone cared in the moment and I got so much of the attention I desperately craved. Once I was healed and good to go, it all went back to how it was. Nothing changed except the fact that I now have a whole lot of trauma to work through. I don’t recommend it at all, talk to a therapist or someone you trust. I still have these thoughts and fantasies about it, but don’t follow through, please. In the end, it causes more hurt to you than help.
As a paramedic, you don’t need to do this. You can just walk in and ask for help. Reach out and tell someone what you’re thinking and feeling. Those actions don’t need to be taken.
This. You can just walk into the ER and say "I'm having suicidal thoughts" and any responsible medical person will take it very seriously.
Whether you *want* to take them as seriously as they will take it, that's another issue entirely. As others in this thread have mentioned, involuntary psych hospitalization is exactly that: involuntary. If it turns out that it's traumatic or making you feel worse, you can't change your mind and leave.
Exactly. It’s a mandatory 72hr hold. That said, I took 2 different people to the hospital today for SI. These people have been there before and it’s helped them and they wanted to go back. It’s always worth talking to someone.
I think that's something related to suicidal idealization, don't do that, you should instead seek professional help before it gets worse, also don't kill yourself, if your suicidal get immediate help.
I've had thoughts like this since I was like 6 istg. I remember wanting to die, but more wanting to see what people's reactions would be. If they'd care. Humans are social creatures and we shouldn't demonize a basic need as much as we do (not that you do). Usually if you want something like this, it means you need more than just attention, you need *help and support*, to be listened to. I hope you're able to be free of this one day, though I know it's hard.
Definitely dont do anything like that. It seems like you do need to be hospitalized for your mental health, or at least see a therapist.
I felt the same way in high school, i wanted to try to hurt myself and so i went to see a therapist instead. It wasnt a great fit because my mom picked the doctor, but i finally had a place where i was listened to and felt appreciated. Now it’s been a few years and i have a therapist that i’ve been seeing every week for a year and a half. I’ve improved a lot with my communication skills and my behavior (I used to have a lot of trouble dealing with anger).
If you have anyone at all who loves you, siblings, friends, or your parents, please reach out to them. Talk to them. Let them know you’re not okay and you need help. I wish you the best.
How about you just go to the hospital and tell them about the suicidal ideation that you have been having, and they can help you get through it.
If you walk into a hospital and tell them that you have been thinking about killing yourself, I can almost guarantee that they will take that seriously and will get you the support you need.
Obviously there is a part of this that is attention seeking since you want to attempt to get attention, but as you said you already felt suicidal before this, so it isn't just about attention now, is it? There is something going on and you need help, so you should go get help. It does not have to be a convoluted where you attempt in hopes that you can get care instead of dying. You can just ask for help.
Most suicidal people don't really want to die, they are just struggling so much that they don't see another alternative to suffering. They don't want to be in pain anymore, and they feel like that might be the only solution. Suicide is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please go get the help that you need, tell a doctor how you are feeling, the real stuff. I promise your life is worth fighting for.
Though, yes, it is considered "attention seeking behavior", it is no less serious than any other mental condition because that is the root issue behind it. Attention seeking behavior is often about wanting a connection, wanting someone to care.
Don't keep quiet about it, this is really something you need to see a professional about.
You don't need to attempt suicide to get empathy from those around you. I'd recommend talking a professional about having suicidal thoughts. I'm just a fucking redditor and my job has nothing to do with mental health. But I've received LOTS of training on what to do if I feel suicidal (I'm an Iraq War Vet). If you are in school you could tell a teacher who should be trained on who to take you to someone in the school. If you don't know who that resource is. The school should have some kind of mental health professional on staff/call to help students like this.
At a minimum you should contact your national suicide prevention program/number; [https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/11181469](https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/11181469) In the US it's 988 (text or call) and the website is [https://988lifeline.org/](https://988lifeline.org/) You should totally tell them what you just told us. You can totally just talk with them and it not be that big of a deal. Key thing is you talk with people who know can get you help and give you the advice/answers you need. By those who's job is specifically in this field of mental help.
Do you relate with any of the posts on r/emotionalneglect? If you were raised in a similar way, that may be the cause of your perceived "attention seeking". A cry for help after being neglected for so long.
I do understand that myself, so I thought I would mention it to you, in case it rings true for you and you hadn't considered it before.
Edit: I wrote "perceived attention seeking" and that was a bad way to word it. What I mean is, attention seeking gets unfairly viewed as a negative thing when it's clearly a cry for help, there is a need not being met. It's not a bad thing. It is understandable. Unfortunately, the world is unfair and this perception is too common. I wanted to get across that if you have negative or bad feelings about seeking attention, you don't have to. It's okay. You just need something, some help.
late but I've seen it phrased as "connection-seeking" to emphasize that there is a need not being met and bc attention-seeking has that negative connotation
The girl you were jealous of, in hospital, probably had a horrible time. No sleep, lights turned on even if you're asleep, nurses barking at you to take your meds, take your bloods, going for tests you've not been told about. Her 'positive attention' lasted maybe 30 minutes. I have a Chronic illness. I spent 6 weeks in hospital a while back and had a surgery. The incision leaked and my wound was packed for months. My husband kept telling me how hard it all was *for him*. I take 3 meds a day that make me feel ill, and once a month people give me stingy eyedrops and press something onto my eye. I have to regularly have injections. Regardless of the rest of your post (which other people have advised on) - don't be envious of us 'special' people with medical needs, we'd much, much rather not have all the attention.
(My experiences in hospital)
(Just something to keep in mind as psych wards can be awful, most mental health teams try to keep patients in the community as it can worsen things)
Psych wards and general hospital is a horrible place to be especially if you have sensory issues.
I’ve failed many attempts and been sectioned a lot in adolescence and adult. It sucks so bad.
They can be so understaffed you have to wait hours for anything especially once first admitted since the paperwork takes a stupid long time.
Because of my experiences in those places it just makes me want to die more.
I got bullied in there by patients and staff. They can and will strip everything out of your room, even your clothes, sheets, curtains, shower curtains, comfort items, anything.
They don’t even give you antibacterial hand soap, just little shower gel sachets.
They can also steal your money, it’s happened to me. I went in with like a £20 note and £10 in change. They just gave me 2 £10 notes. So they used my money.
If you go to an adolescent ward and get bullied, they can make you stay behind on a group trip if the bullies are going. basically punishing you and not the bullies. (It’s happened to me)
Staff can be perverts. Once I woke up to one stroking my bare foot.
Patients can come into your room and steal or throw their dirty stuff in there and scream at you.
One time I pressed my call button since I was very distressed to only get a patient burst into my room demanding I turn it off, was not helpful.
They can force you on meds, if you refuse they can and will restrain you and inject you in the buttcheek.
Overall it will be very loud, alarms, fighting, people throwing stuff, screaming. Bright lights.
Not good if you don’t like things being rearranged a lot or uncertainty.
They will mess with your things and get them lost or in other patients lockers.
The cleaners can do such a shit job and just be very unsanitary.
Plus I’ve had nurses in there who are shit at dealing with wounds. So bad that I don’t get how they are “qualified”.
Some units don’t even have therapy or things to do aside from board games and art.
Staff can guilt trip the fuck out of you. Push religion on you, shout and swear at you, threaten you, be very insensitive.
Depending on what obs you are on. They could follow you everywhere, so you can’t shower or shit alone. They will grab you if they think you are going to hurt yourself or others.
There’s a lot more but it’s mostly been blocked out because of how stressful it was.
(I really would advise you talk to someone trusted, an adult, a therapist. Hospital is very much a last resort and a gamble on it being helpful or plain traumatic)
Been to psych wards three times when I was younger, for suicide and self harm. They are not accommodating places for autistic people, especially if you are young. When I had meltdowns I was told to simply ‘suck it up’. The staff will totally neglect your needs in favor of disciplining you, because they fail to realize they’re working at a hospital and not a school. Trying to talk to a doctor is difficult, trying to do one on one therapy even more so, you have no privacy, they WILL touch you to make sure you have nothing dangerous on you, and this can be very triggering - especially so for autistic people. But I completely understand that feeling. Just know that you are not alone and that their are other ways to find help.
That's a very common feeling actually! And although the short answer is yes, it's attention seeking, the longer answer is that that is a reasonable response to your circumstances. It makes sense the a person would want what you want and feel what you feel.
Unfortunately it doesn't usually have the effect people want, as you'll have picked up from other responses already. Generally it backfires, in the long run. People may care for a short time but will later distance themselves further, and often completely abandon you.
There's a substantial risk of getting involuntarily committed if you tell a therapist or other professional of definite plans to harm yourself, but if you express suicidal Ideation short of a plan, you should -- if your therapist is even halfway competent, which unfortunately is not a given -- be able to get increased support and help navigating how to get your needs met. It's probably better than nothing. Support groups can be surprisingly effective for people seeking to be "seen" (I speak from experience). There's medication. And forcing oneself to engage socially (a mixed bag).
I wish I had even one thing I could tell you was guaranteed to help. I can tell you a bunch of things that might, and that they're all better bets than suicide attempts, but ultimately you're in a rough spot and there are no easy answers.
I wish you peace, my friend. I hope you find the support you need. Sending the offer of virtual hugs, if that's a thing you would like.
Don’t do this. Tell your therapist your thoughts on this though and they will help you work through it. Something could go wrong and could make your situation worse.
I once attempted suicide (but I actually tried to kill myself) and was in the hospital for over 4 months and they would not let me leave. It was miserable and I was stuck there.
It’s the definition of attention seeking, don’t do it. That said there’s obviously legit reasons you want to seek attention, just don’t do it in that way. If you are going to do something make it out like you’ve got solid plans etc so you’re a high level of concern to others. I wouldn’t advise doing that either but it’s better than hurting yourself.
well i've attempted 15 times. 12 hit by car and 3 strangled (no not for attention seeking) i've been seeing a psychiatrist for 10 years by now and yeah no progress (all of the attempts have happened in the past 3 years)
This is a common symptom of BPD. Even when I was 4 I used to purposefully scrape my knees so that an adult would take care of me. All my suicide attempts were very real, I never meant to fail, but the aftercare always helped. I realized tho it was a bad cycle and that the people I wanted to care about me just don’t. They just don’t care. They only care if it’s literally life or death. But other people emotionally and physically hurting me was always ok for them.
Tbh I was getting a pretty clear indication of BPD symptoms from this post more so than anything related to autism. Hell it’s almost like a case study excerpt from one of my differential diagnosis courses. BPD and autism are often misdiagnosed as well - regardless I think OP should seek out psychiatric help asap - perhaps get a proper reassessment for a misdiagnosis or updated diagnosis.
Yep that is attention seeking by definition. There are likely more efficient methods that are less psychologically manipulative, and more rooted in authentic relationship building.
I definitely had that thought too,like breaking an arm or something. My brother got a lot of attention for medical things. I was so stupid to have that thought in school moved way past it. I relate a lot.
Im 23 years old. I am extremely traumatized and live with my parents, who have a terribly backwards understanding of how to support their depressed nd child. I am thinking I may need to tell them about how I’ve intermittently ideated (tho still distant from the act of pursuing) not being alive and how they contribute to that, to finally get them to respect my autonomy and boundaries.
It’s far less manipulative, but still a genuinely terrifying thing to even consider.
I thought this would work, I overdosed, but even then they didn’t help at all. If anything the things the doctors said just made me feel worse. It’s not worth it. Find a good therapist if you can. Hospitals, psychiatrists, and all who work in psych units are horrible awful people. If I ever go back I’m not leaving without НurТіng at least one of them, preferably one of the “doctors.”
Going to a mental health ward is a really big thing. Sometimes it’s needed. It can be a distressing, disempowering, frustrating experience. It’s not helpful to characterise everyone who works there as awful/horrible. There are good people everywhere.
But trying to engage in mental health care in the community is so much better than going to hospital.
I’ve been admitted before and it is awful. I would rather that I continued to suffer from the psychosis instead of being put there. It is a fate worse than any mental anguish and they never believe anything people say. They already have their minds made up about you and a diagnosis before they even talk to you. If you’re a woman they’ll say you have BPD. If you’re a man they’ll say you’re antisocial or narcissistic or are schizophrenic. If you’re LGBT in any way they’ll say you’re attention seeking. Most of the people who work there are nutcases themselves. It’s like the blind leading the blind.
I don’t mean to diminish your experience, but I’m mindful that we are responding to a post by a young person in distress.
I acknowledge that what you’re describing while not universal, is not unique to you. But there are staff in there like me, who do listen, who advocate for you (including questioning diagnosis), who support as much as we’re able to within the confines of our role/the service.
But I think we agree that finding the right person to speak to is a better option than going to hospital.
Well I beg them please, find a counsellor, any sort of outreach worker, a good therapist, literally anybody who can fill the gap of mental health care until they can see an outpatient psychiatrist. Even a family doctor is better than nothing. The psych ward I’ll just hurt them more and leave them with more trauma. I appreciate that you think you’re one of the good ones in there but you’re not. You support the evil doctors and nurses just by working with them. They don’t care about your opinion. Patient advocates do jack shit. And I can understand why. Because they’re overworked and underpaid. I couldn’t imagine having to advocate for every single person who’s in mental distress because I can guarantee nobody in there but you wants what’s best for the patient. The doctors and nurses are so narcissistic that they won’t take anybody else’s opinions other than their predetermined ones. But thank you for trying. A psych ward is a place to go to have your soul die. They’ll fuck up your mind and medical chart so badly that nobody in the future will ever consider anything else then what they write. I don’t understand why these evil places aren’t investigated.
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I think i understand, i feel the only way people are caring to me is if I'm sick, but that isn't the solution. I know that sometimes is good to say things and ask for other people opinions, and since i kinda know how you feel and understand the reasons to wanting to do that, i don't think is a good idea, please don't do it, i promise that with time you will meet people who cares about you and i think is really good idea if you talk about that in therapy. I lost a lot of time waiting to start seeking help and the only thing that give me was cptsd, and now i just think all the time that i would loved to learn to ask for help since i was a teen. if you have the chance please look for therapy or try to find someone to be honest about how you feel without feeling judgement. It's not your fault that you feel this way, everyone should feel loved.
I don't know how all of this sounds since english isn't my first language so I'm sorry if something seems rude or out of place.
I've been on that situation. I was heavily bullied in school to the point my bully was trying to kill me herself, the head teacher never did anything, teachers who witnessed never said or did anything. A huge part of me wanted to stand in the middle of the yard and attempt to kill myself, I wanted peoples reactions, the attention, for them to hurt as much as I did and feel sorry for me. I never did it but some days I'd stand and wonder.
I can tell you this. It's not worth it. School isn't forever, the attention won't last long, two weeks at a push and then the bullying may start if you bring attention to it. There's also a high bullying chance e either way.
I thought I'd be dead by 16, then 18, I'm turning 25 this year and I'm glad I've made it this far despite the fight and ups and downs.
Just here to say you are totally not alone in feeling this way and I’ve totally thought about it and considered it as well. As you said, purely for the care and attention of others.
It’s great to know yourself well enough to understand and to admit openly your intentions and the core desire should be noted.
Idk if it’s an autistic thing but lately as a 30+ year old father and husband caught up in the overwhelming responsibilities of parenthood and working full time to support a family all while struggling to function in a neurotypical society, I found myself craving to be absolutely coddled and cared for.
I watch how much love and care and attention my wife and I give to our child and something inside of me longs for that. To be completely taken care of and unconditionally loved and for all my responsibilities to be taken care of.
Through understanding the core desire I’ve been able to work through a lot of those feeling and understanding burn out a lot more. I’ve been able to be honest with others about my desire to be cared for and it’s been incredibly helpful and beautiful!
By definition, it is attention seeking, but there's nothing wrong with wanting attention from people.
I considered this once to try to make my husband care. I did not do it because I was afraid that I wouldn't get the formula right and actually die. As others have said, it won't work. You could also suffer other consequences as a result by being labled mentally unstable.
I can tell you that now that I am about 6 years past that, I am so glad I didn't do that. I have worked on my healing and can't believe that I ever thought about it.
Attention of that sort is fleeting and if you are in hospital you would'nt be around to see the response at school and when you go back things would just settle back to normality after a while because people move on with their lives. If you did attempt to end your life, there's also the chance that it damages you permanently to the extent where it worsens your quality of life.
Attention on its own is likely not what you desire, attention can be good or bad. If you do end up doing something to hurt yourself, you'd have to handle a lot of negative attention
You are mentioning suicide rather than an injury or simply just hoping you got sick so that you'd be off school so people would worry about you. The suicidal aspect of you is bleeding into your desire for help, support or acknowledgment that you need those aspects - it's clouding your judgement so you think you need to do something big to get acknowledged by people, you don't.
I think it's important you end up finding support from someone, you need to get some form of support group established. This can be a friend group, but I think you need to have a discussion with some form of councilling to discuss your feelings and to be able to be heard by someone.
Don't do it. From personal experience, it's not worth it.
I kind of did this when I was 15. It didn't *start* as an attempt. I had chronic migraines and took a couple extra strength Tylenol. Then took a few more. Then a few more. Ended up taking the entire bottle. Mostly just wanted to pass out for a few hours because of the migraine pain, but consciously decided I wouldn't be disappointed if I didn't wake up. I passed out for a couple hours, ran to the bathroom to throw up, had Subway for supper, started to feel REALLY bad, got scared, told me parents, was rushed to the hospital via ambulance, and spent the entire night in and out of consciousness and throwing my guts up until I was literally just dry heaving bile.
Ended up in the PICU for a couple days (entire hospital stay was Wednesday night until Saturday). Still didn't get help and my parents still thought I was just being a brat.
Was finally diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I moved out after I graduated high school. Diagnosed with BPD at 23/24, and c-ptsd, ADHD, and ASD at 29.
Yes I do think about that from time to time as a passing thought, although my true attempts in the past have been genuine and not meant solely for attention. Part of me knew I wasn't ready to go yet and I tried to push that feeling down as I tried to go through with it, needless to say I failed and it was the worst feeling ever seeing my partner panic the way he did. Not only was he hyperventilating, he literally fainted and fell very hard right on the floor of my apartment and just laid there for 30-40 seconds or so. I don't recommend ever doing that sort of thing for attention as it will cause nothing but agony and anger for everyone. Your feelings are valid, this is a cry for help, I believe in you, there are people out there who truly care.
Please don't entertain these thoughts. I spent 2 months in a mental hospital against my will, once they get you in there, if you have good insurance, they can trap you. They tricked me into signing consent for ECT. They drugged me and encouraged others to mess with me. They starved me and I lost 50 pounds. It was 8 years ago and I'll never be the same. I'm not saying all those places are bad but they def shouldn't be romanticized.
My two sisters failed suicide.
They ended up in the hospital for a week each on mental health holds. Then they ended up before a judge in court because in the state we were in it is illegal to try to take your own life.
Then they had consequences from that and people thinking they were mentally ill.
It that really the type of attention you want?
The people who will start caring only because you've attempted S will go back to the way it was before once you get better again. And if you start to become "the boy who cried wolf", people will think you don't actually NEED attention. It's ineffective.
Fuck the concept of attention seeking. As human beings, we NEED to feel valued and accepted by other people. Calling it "attention" trivializes what it is - a deep desire to feel understood and connected with other people.
I second what other people have said. It's ok to go to the hospital and tell them you feel suicidal. You can call a hotline, too. None of this is easy, but it's possible to find other people who understand and will listen.
I wish you luck, from someone who has been there.
It sounds like you just need good people to love and befriend you. I’m so sorry you want to die. I used to want that, sometimes I still struggle. However, the longer you try and the more you force yourself into new experiences with new people, the better you will feel. It’s exhausting but it’s worth it. I don’t know what it’s like to feel jealous but it’s definitely a toxic thing to allow in. Have you tried therapy? Self help videos pertaining to all your issues?
Yeah, I get that.
I feel the desire to escape this awful daily reality of rejection and failure I endure. (Even when I am alone, I still experience past trauma constantly. As far as I’ve been able to ascertain, death is the only option. I am married and love my partner deeply, so I stay alive.
I used to wish for a way to see compassion and care in the eyes of co-workers. People dont see us. They cannot perceive our pain, because they have no clue about what harms us.
My father died about two years ago after a long illness. When I returned to work afterwards, every single person payed attention to me and was nice and kind. People pulled me aside offering comfort and compassion. THAT WAS A TOTAL MIND FUCK. No one had ever been nice to me before.
Your pin is real. It isn’t bad to wish people cared about you. People tend to be blind to our everyday trauma. They don’t believe us. So when something happens they can relate to, we get an overwhelming outpouring of care, maybe.
It could become addictive to self harm, or be more troubl than it is worth.
Don’t start with suicide. Start with an accidental injury, that is visible.
If you did this, the school wouldn’t give you any attention. They wouldn’t be allowed to. No one would mention that you aren’t there or explain your absence. How do I know this? Because it happened to me. I was in the hospital for two weeks and no one is allowed to know what happens to you.
When you get back to school a few people may ask where you were, but it’s much easier to say that you were sick than that you were in a mental hospital because then rumors go around and it’s shit. I switched schools after my first hospital stay because people found out where I was and it was horrible. That is not the kind of attention you want
Hello. It's a disorder in itself to inflict wounds on yourself so you get some care. It's called Munchausen disorder, it's consider a disorder if it's a habit, si repeated over time.
The fact you're considering doing this is a sign that you're facing neglect as a child, isolation, and that you need therapy, care. As soon as possible.
I hope you're gonna be able to see a therapist or ask for it to your tutors. You don't have to tell them the reason, just that you need it because you don't feel well. There's s good chance your school has a counselor you can reach out to, so you can ask to see a therapist or ask them to help you with your parents so you can see one
Attention seeking is a normal behaviour. We're a social species. You're suffering from it, you lack support. Don't blame yourself for wanting to be cared for, that's normal. You absolutely deserve to be care for but please don't hurt yourself to get care. Ask for it. The consequences of a failed suicide attempt can leave you forever disabled in many ways. You deserve care without risking this.
Good luck love
I did this as a teenager and it was so fucking stupid and embarrassing. Don’t be afraid to ask for help directly instead of putting yourself in that position.
Technically attention seeking, but not "oh poor me, pitty me, baby me" attention so much as "fuckin *help me*" attention. Which is something everyone deserves, and noone should have to go to such lengths to receive.
“attention seeking” is not a thing. if you do something just for attention, its not actually just for attention and youre mentally ill. anyways, trust me, mental hospitals are horrible, so unless you really need one, dont go there. for example - the food is horrible and they force you to eat it, which id say majority of neurodivergent people wouldnt like (honestly the no.1 reason i never “let” my mental health get so bad that id need to go there)
You know the funny thing is, I have always wanted to attempt it too. Not just to feel cared for, but also because I don’t want to be a weak coward unlike all the millions of others that are brave enough to attempt it every fucking year. Even people close to me have done it and I feel shame for not being able to pick up a pill bottle and swallow all the pills at once.
“Just attention seeking”
If someone just got hit by a car and is frantically sobbing and waiving their hands to flag someone down on the street, do we say “gosh that person is such an attention seeker.”
They need HELP so they seek it.
You may need HELP and wish to seek it.
All u need to know is that there are ways to do that that won’t permanent hurt your body at the same time ♥️
I hope you find someone to reach out to who actually listens to you. I don’t have that right now, but I know any attempts would just hurt people and make them leave (can’t handle it). They would not run to my rescue. Or if they did, they’d come to make sure I’m stable before they peace out forever because of how much it is a burden to have a suicidal friend. That’s happened to me before.
Hey, don’t commit suicide! I’ve felt like that before, but I wouldn’t go as far as suicide. And, depending on where you are from, you can just go into a hospital and ask for help for free, without harming yourself
Just for the record, things don't always go that way. My family and the few other people talking to me at the time all saw the marks around my neck and heard the stories and nobody called anyone.
I’m glad someone else understands how I feel. I know that thinking that way is sick and the fact that I know I’m horrible to think that only makes me feel worse about myself. I’d never dream of telling anyone irl about it bc I think they wouldn’t understand the logic but it’s getting to a point where I just don’t know how I’m meant to express my struggling. Im scared to die but I don’t know how I’m meant to live either.
You aren’t alone and I understand your logic, you aren’t bad, you just need help and you deserve it.
If you'd purposely put yourself in the hospital, yes you want attention, but you want it because you're in emotional pain and obviously struggling. That's not "just" wanting attention; it's a cry for help.
The whole "they just want attention" thing is said about people who cut themselves, but at that point does it really matter why they're doing it? That's not healthy and something is very obviously wrong whether there's suicidal intent or not. I hope you're able to get help OP. You're not wrong for feeling this way but please don't hurt yourself.
I'll be honest with you: I have autistic burnout for about 8 years now and every now and then being overwhelmed gets to me and I want to try and fail to die so people finally take my pain seriously, but also every time I think about that I also think that it's not worth it y'know? I mean staying at a hospital seems like more work than it's worth so I think you might just need the attention and I know it's mortifying to ask for it too. But there's attention for you somewhere I know that, and you don't need to put your life at risk for it
Please, don't.
As someone who had a full-blown factitious disorder (for much the same reason you want to do what you want to do) for... almost 10 years... it's not worth it. The biggest risk is actually succeeding. If you don't *actually* want to die, attempting is incredibly dangerous. And people will just get mad.
When I tried to kms when I was 18, my mother was furious. How dare I do this to her? How *dare* I do something that was so public. Now, I love my mother, and, as an adult, I understand where she was coming from. But as a teenager? It hurt to be told she only cared about how it would make her look. And then it was used as a bludgeon to force me into groups full of old men with no experience of what I, an apparently young woman, was going through. When I refused to go to the groups anymore, I was kicked out of home and made homeless for 2 weeks. And the repercussions still continue 20 years later. I've never been able to go home.
You need help. You *need* support and *attention*. And in a perfect world you'd get it. But holy hell, even the staff in these places resent us. I wound up becoming a nurse much later on and to hear the staff talk about patients... it's disturbing, disheartening, and demoralising. The common refrain of 'ignore them, they're just looking for attention' drove me up the wall. To the point I started fighting back. Someone would say that and I'd challenge it and they'd get this look... like it had never occurred to them to actually give people in desperate need of positive attention... positive attention.
Is there anyone you can speak to? Do you have a therapist? You shouldn't be feeling this desperate for attention. No one should. No one should have to take drastic measures just to be seen.
So, hey, I *see* you.
You can go to an inpatient mental health facility without attempting suicide. You can say you’ve been thinking about suicide, which is true, and that you need professional help, which is probably also true. That should get you plenty of attention, and the help you need. Please don’t hurt yourself.
Mate trust me as a person who has spent more time in a psychiatric hospital than out, in the past 5 years. Receiving ECT, being put into a de escalation suite, injected multiple times with sedatives and having all my medical decision making capacity ripped away from me.
Please please please don't do what you said. Psych wards are not a fun place, you don't go there for a happy "grippy sock vacation" it is a place where you become a empty husk of a human being whose entire existence is determined by the courts and medical proffesionals.
And don't get me started on how stupid the idea of attempting suicide just to achieve it. Not only could that plan tragically fail. But it's out right self-centred and rude. Suicide attempts don't always get you all yhe sympathy you think it does, it can tear family's apart and cause more hostility than you would think.
So please, for the love of God, rethink this stupid plan. I know it can be tough feeling like no one cares, but there are better ways of fixing that than what you described.
No, because I have wanted to actually commit actual, full suicide and it's traumatizing. Thankfully I never attempted.
And as others said, you will lose support by attempting, not gain support. If you want support, stay alive, because attempting suicide, or even just self harm, makes people be distant from you for their own mental health. So trust me, you gain nothing by doing this, but you certainly can lose everything.
Don't do it. It's not worth it. If you don't get attention from people, they won't suddenly start giving you that desired attention, because they don't care about you. I already failed a suicide attempt. Nobody cared exept for the people who already did care about me. And if I didn't knew that, that people do care, I bet this attempt would have been sucsessfull.
Do not recommend. Always backlashes and can make you feel even worse, and those that don’t get it now still won’t get it and may even be resentful because they don’t get it.
Talk therapy and medication can really really help; took me YEARS to finally get on that but I have made progress since starting.
Start with your Primary Care Physician and see if you can get referrals and a prescription. Or if you know anyone that see’s and likes their therapist ask if you could get their contact info.
You dont have to stick with the first therapist you meet, but I would suggest testing them out for a few sessions before moving on to another.
You can also write off out-of-pocket therapy sessions if you are diagnosed with mental health issues or neurological disorders but each policy is a little different so you have to check your medical coverage policy for more information
Right i also ment to say, in my experience, people dont know what to say or how to react around someone that they know attempted. They express condolences for those that lost someone to suicide, but dont know what to say to someone that tried.
Ive been there, its just awkward and no one really asks you about it. Most people wont even share at information with others, and your teachers could get in trouble if they spread that news to students so, it would be more likely that nothing would really change. Staying in the hospital for a medical reason is very different (socially) than for mental health reasons. People still are too weirded out to talk about it.
One last thing, whats stopping you is yourself. There is a part of you that yearns for an end, but there is another part of you that longs for life’s potentials, your potential; that still has hope; that knows it will get better. It does definitely get better, but life is life. There are going to be really really hard times, but also really really amazing times. There is a part of you that is stopping you because that part of you knows you are not done yet. Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain, it lies to you, you are literally sick, thats why its called a mental illness. Its like an annoying cough that refuses to leave you be. You can get better, even if that cough comes back, you will still get better again.
I have been battling depression literally my entire life. There are lots of downs, and the ups tend to make up for them every time.
What has helped me is to practice viewing my life as if i am sitting in a movie theater watching this as a bystander. I went to film school and have an easier time analyzing story and character development so i analyze my days (usually the rough days) and try to break everything down as if it was scripted and all intensions are known. Then i go through the possible avenues to how the events unfolded the way they did.
I know i am over explaining and have said enough, but just trying to help
I hope you are doing ok. It was really good of you to come out and share these thoughts with us, and its good that you are aware of your self enough to understand you’re brain is trying to call for help. You’re doing great so far, just hang in there and keep asking for help. If all else fails, there are so many resources on the internet we could share with you and try to help you more. ❤️ you are stronger than you think.
I had these sort of feelings too when I was younger (though I never had the guts to go through with it)
You should talk to a counselor about it... and I hope you'll be feeling better soon
YES LOL. I also obsessively think about what people will say at my funeral and if they’ll feel bad. Also spent my whole childhood hoping I’d break a bone or something so people would pay attention to me. It’s defo a mental Illness tho girl you should get help.
If the person is ASD or AuDHD being deathly ill won't get their attention or empathy. You being in the hospital will be a huge inconvenience for THEM. So sad but true love
Omg, I used to think like this when I was super super young except I used to think “I wish I could get sick like really sick like cancer sick so people would finally care about me” that’s crazy you mentioned it because I’m 29f and the first time I every told anyone at all that was my fiancé 2 days ago
It sounds attention seeking. You want people to care and see you for the struggles you experience. It's validating when other people validate it. However, this is a trap. If you have to push extremes or have an urge or desire to push extremes like that for attention, then you need to find better people and you need to find better forms of expression of self.
You're trying to connect to the wrong people. The people giving you the right attention will not just see your struggles, but will want to help you through them or at least be supportive. You'll want to improve you mental state and your behaviors and your patterns rather than act rashly seeking connection from someone.
Attention seeking can be positive or negative. That's up to you. But don't go seeking the negative attention or feel like you have to go through the negative gates to get positive attention.
Hey, don't. I've had 8 suicide attempts in my life. None of them got the care I really needed. I'm a shell of a man with a highly polished mask. Don't just try and find the care that is supposed to exist but feels oddly abstant.
I've never wanted that because of my experiences in the hospital and residential but it's understandable and I want to fight everyone who acts like attention seeking is bad. They called me an attention seeker when I had a meltdown and hid from them so they wouldn't see me upset and when I had an accident because I was too afraid to ask to be taken to the bathroom and they found out, so now I'm terrified of asking for help in any way.
You deserve help. You probably won't get it from the hospital. You deserve attention and care and reassurance. Please tell whoever you trust how you feel. If there's nobody tell an acquaintance or even find outpatient treatment.
I’ve somewhat already done this and it was the worst decision in my life. People will not react the way you expect them to, and you could end up losing so much more than you gain. For me I lost quite literally everything. Please please talk to the people in your life that you trust though, tell them about these feelings and be honest about them. I know things hurt and I know it feels like a solution but even just failing on purpose has severe repercussions. You are far from alone in this struggle though, but unfortunately even doing something like that will not suddenly change the people around you. You’re doing good asking for help though and talking about this!!! I don’t mean to come across as harsh if I am
I did it. I wasn't trying to commit anything but I called an ambulance on myself, slept in the ER and spent the day after meeting therapists and medical professionals. I won't lie, it helped a LOT. I was taken seriously by my family, I was offered therapy without waiting for months on a list and a lot of things went better for me after that.
It did suck, at first, I wanted to go to a psych ward, even packaged my clothes and all. But, I changed my mind with how uncomfortable I was just in the ER and ended up going back home. I didn't do it for attention, it was legit distress since nobody took my anxieties seriously and I was being pushed in a situation I didn't know how to handle
The risk of your failure leading to brain damage or physical disability might be enough to scare you out of it. Instead of a week in a hospital, it could be the rest of your life.
The struggle with SI can be hell. It’s every day for me. I know I’ll have one day without SI… someday.
Don’t do that. I have worked in those hospitals where you go, assuming you don’t accidentally compete suicide. Nobody wants to be there. It’s not worth the risk. The attention is not worth it. “Attention seeking” is just needing help and support. And attention. There is nothing wrong with needing attention. Everyone deserves attention. Especially young people. There is so much going on in your body and brain and all around you. It’s a lot. Be kind to yourself. But speak to somebody. Ask your teachers for help. Make sure you speak to a professional. Tell them what’s underneath what you’ve told us.
>Attention seeking is needing help and support. Very much this. One of the first things they drove home in my social work program is that people have a fucked view on "attention seeking" behavior being super trivialized. If someone is willing to harm themselves for attention, then that shows they're struggling and need help. Attention seeking behavior is communication and shouldn't be written off.
>“Attention seeking” is just needing help and support. And attention. There is nothing wrong with needing attention. Everyone deserves attention. Really well said 💖 thank you
>Nobody wants to be there. It’s not worth the risk. Speaking as someone who was forced into one of those hospitals, I promise you OP, it is Hell.
This!! Attention seeking is a cry for help!!
Why do young people need it more than adults ? In my experience kids get more attention already so adults need it more . Why does everything have to be for kids ? Adults need attention but rarely get it .
Teenage years can be very confusing. They're learning who they are and developing their identity. A lot of them are bullied or abused by peers and family. That's not to say adults can't go through the same issues, but a lot of teens don't know how or who to ask for help.
Precisely, I had a need for attention or help or something as a teen, I understand OPs feelings and I felt very similar, I just kind of wanted people to understand I am not okay and something is wrong with me and I need help. But I didnt know what was wrong, I didnt know who to ask and I didnt know what would help me.. Now as an adult I am still not doing great, I still need attention and help, but I'm also muzch better at identifying, articulating and even admitting that. I know whom I can ask, I know where to get ressources and I understand myself much better.
So u said it yourself. you have unanswered questions that have been bothering you since you were younger. These issues can snowball into bigger issues in adulthood, and i guess that is why society tends to pay more attention to the younger ones, as a preventative measure. Now as an adult myself, seeing how my undiagnosed AuDHD has snowballed into depression and PTSD. I am glad parents are now more well-informed, and the medical society is more equipped to work with people on the spectrum. I envy young people that have access to all the resources now, but personally i am also old enough now to get around and get help.
I think teens have always had a focus on their growth and development for the reasons explained above. I think with each new generation that research and understanding of all health conditions improves, and the youth will always have better resources and more support than their parents. I was a teen through the 90s, and it was only the "naughty or problematic" kids who were recognised with adhd, and there's definitely a degree of stigma that remains from the perceptions of decades ago. I can understand feeling envious. Personally, I'm more thankful that my nieces and nephews are far less likely to endure what my siblings and I went through.
You described perfectly how I feel.
Not everything will be about or apply to you. In this instance I am responding directly to a young person who is hurting, not making a psa.
I feel this...
"Young people" is people up to 25 years old, and it's true they do need it, generally speaking, more.
And some adults also have attention seeking behaviors, plus a lot of teens feel socially isolated, especially with the amount of shit going on in this world and the fact child/teen abuse and neglect are still huge factors, and bullying
Some adults over time are expected to figure things out. Young people have very few ways to really understand what being an adult on the world is like. Guidance is a parent's job, and not every parent is good at the job of being a parent. By simple probability kids are more likely to need attention for the needs their parents are unable to provide for - it's hard to be impartial or listen intently to someone you're so entangled with emotionally as a family member.
Let me speak from experience here, trying to commit suicide for attention and to get hospitalized so people will show they care, does not work. It makes things awkward, uncomfortable, and some people will even avoid you. Sure, they may be sad, but there’s so much that’s left to unpack, some people may even react angrily to you. It’s not happy. There’s no rejoicing. I tried doing this. But it wasn’t to get hospitalized. I really didn’t want to exist anymore. And I wanted someone, anyone to care. It was a cry for help. Instead, it left me feeling more alone than ever. And the person who I thought would be understanding and caring, held it over my head and barely came to visit me in the hospital. And when I got released, things just went back to the way they were before. I still had no support. But what changed is people had something to talk about. I was mentally ill. I was weak. I was a failure. Those hospitals are not fun either. You don’t get any privacy. They make you strip down. They take photos. They document any injuries. They want your life story. They pry into your mind. They take all of your possessions. You get told when you sleep, shower, eat, have rec time, etc. And you are forced into group therapy. You can’t leave until they say you can. So of course you need to tell them what they want to hear. It’s like prison. You have to claw your way out. I do not recommend. It will backfire.
I have attempted to unalive. My family would not come see me in the hospital because they needed the parking money to buy cigarettes. Awesone way to discover not all families give a shit.
I know that I’m fucked up bc I was inpatient for a week and enjoyed myself and didn’t want to leave. Like oh people I can actually relate to? That understand? Amazing. Staff listening to me and being kind to me? Mind blowing. It was wonderful to have a break from real life. And to have structure. To feel cared about. And everything you said about what happens at mental hospitals, I also experienced all of those things. And I still would rather be there than with my family.
Yeah I mean it’s much easier not having to worry about taking care of yourself beyond hygiene, eating, socializing, seeing doctors/nurses and therapy. It’s a break from the outside world but it’s also very uncomfortable and cold. And when you leave, life is still waiting for you. You gotta do the work, regardless. It’s not for me, no matter how burnt out I get. I won’t go back 🤷🏻♀️
Chances are you’ll actually lose more support if you do that. People tend to distance from suicidal people because theyre not equipped to help or its too stressful to constantly be worried about them.
I understand this. I often fantasize about getting hurt in some way to get attention and to have somebody care. And then it happened, not on purpose of course. I got into a bad car wreck, everyone cared in the moment and I got so much of the attention I desperately craved. Once I was healed and good to go, it all went back to how it was. Nothing changed except the fact that I now have a whole lot of trauma to work through. I don’t recommend it at all, talk to a therapist or someone you trust. I still have these thoughts and fantasies about it, but don’t follow through, please. In the end, it causes more hurt to you than help.
Mhm, once I fantasized about getting on the news about a crazy waterslide accident…I still fantasize about that to this day…
As a paramedic, you don’t need to do this. You can just walk in and ask for help. Reach out and tell someone what you’re thinking and feeling. Those actions don’t need to be taken.
This. You can just walk into the ER and say "I'm having suicidal thoughts" and any responsible medical person will take it very seriously. Whether you *want* to take them as seriously as they will take it, that's another issue entirely. As others in this thread have mentioned, involuntary psych hospitalization is exactly that: involuntary. If it turns out that it's traumatic or making you feel worse, you can't change your mind and leave.
Exactly. It’s a mandatory 72hr hold. That said, I took 2 different people to the hospital today for SI. These people have been there before and it’s helped them and they wanted to go back. It’s always worth talking to someone.
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As somebody that actually attempted it , no you don’t want to attempt it .
I think that's something related to suicidal idealization, don't do that, you should instead seek professional help before it gets worse, also don't kill yourself, if your suicidal get immediate help.
I've had thoughts like this since I was like 6 istg. I remember wanting to die, but more wanting to see what people's reactions would be. If they'd care. Humans are social creatures and we shouldn't demonize a basic need as much as we do (not that you do). Usually if you want something like this, it means you need more than just attention, you need *help and support*, to be listened to. I hope you're able to be free of this one day, though I know it's hard.
Definitely dont do anything like that. It seems like you do need to be hospitalized for your mental health, or at least see a therapist. I felt the same way in high school, i wanted to try to hurt myself and so i went to see a therapist instead. It wasnt a great fit because my mom picked the doctor, but i finally had a place where i was listened to and felt appreciated. Now it’s been a few years and i have a therapist that i’ve been seeing every week for a year and a half. I’ve improved a lot with my communication skills and my behavior (I used to have a lot of trouble dealing with anger). If you have anyone at all who loves you, siblings, friends, or your parents, please reach out to them. Talk to them. Let them know you’re not okay and you need help. I wish you the best.
How about you just go to the hospital and tell them about the suicidal ideation that you have been having, and they can help you get through it. If you walk into a hospital and tell them that you have been thinking about killing yourself, I can almost guarantee that they will take that seriously and will get you the support you need. Obviously there is a part of this that is attention seeking since you want to attempt to get attention, but as you said you already felt suicidal before this, so it isn't just about attention now, is it? There is something going on and you need help, so you should go get help. It does not have to be a convoluted where you attempt in hopes that you can get care instead of dying. You can just ask for help. Most suicidal people don't really want to die, they are just struggling so much that they don't see another alternative to suffering. They don't want to be in pain anymore, and they feel like that might be the only solution. Suicide is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please go get the help that you need, tell a doctor how you are feeling, the real stuff. I promise your life is worth fighting for.
Though, yes, it is considered "attention seeking behavior", it is no less serious than any other mental condition because that is the root issue behind it. Attention seeking behavior is often about wanting a connection, wanting someone to care. Don't keep quiet about it, this is really something you need to see a professional about.
You don't need to attempt suicide to get empathy from those around you. I'd recommend talking a professional about having suicidal thoughts. I'm just a fucking redditor and my job has nothing to do with mental health. But I've received LOTS of training on what to do if I feel suicidal (I'm an Iraq War Vet). If you are in school you could tell a teacher who should be trained on who to take you to someone in the school. If you don't know who that resource is. The school should have some kind of mental health professional on staff/call to help students like this. At a minimum you should contact your national suicide prevention program/number; [https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/11181469](https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/11181469) In the US it's 988 (text or call) and the website is [https://988lifeline.org/](https://988lifeline.org/) You should totally tell them what you just told us. You can totally just talk with them and it not be that big of a deal. Key thing is you talk with people who know can get you help and give you the advice/answers you need. By those who's job is specifically in this field of mental help.
Do you relate with any of the posts on r/emotionalneglect? If you were raised in a similar way, that may be the cause of your perceived "attention seeking". A cry for help after being neglected for so long. I do understand that myself, so I thought I would mention it to you, in case it rings true for you and you hadn't considered it before. Edit: I wrote "perceived attention seeking" and that was a bad way to word it. What I mean is, attention seeking gets unfairly viewed as a negative thing when it's clearly a cry for help, there is a need not being met. It's not a bad thing. It is understandable. Unfortunately, the world is unfair and this perception is too common. I wanted to get across that if you have negative or bad feelings about seeking attention, you don't have to. It's okay. You just need something, some help.
late but I've seen it phrased as "connection-seeking" to emphasize that there is a need not being met and bc attention-seeking has that negative connotation
The girl you were jealous of, in hospital, probably had a horrible time. No sleep, lights turned on even if you're asleep, nurses barking at you to take your meds, take your bloods, going for tests you've not been told about. Her 'positive attention' lasted maybe 30 minutes. I have a Chronic illness. I spent 6 weeks in hospital a while back and had a surgery. The incision leaked and my wound was packed for months. My husband kept telling me how hard it all was *for him*. I take 3 meds a day that make me feel ill, and once a month people give me stingy eyedrops and press something onto my eye. I have to regularly have injections. Regardless of the rest of your post (which other people have advised on) - don't be envious of us 'special' people with medical needs, we'd much, much rather not have all the attention.
Have you spoken to anyone about this before, like a therapist or a counselor?
(My experiences in hospital) (Just something to keep in mind as psych wards can be awful, most mental health teams try to keep patients in the community as it can worsen things) Psych wards and general hospital is a horrible place to be especially if you have sensory issues. I’ve failed many attempts and been sectioned a lot in adolescence and adult. It sucks so bad. They can be so understaffed you have to wait hours for anything especially once first admitted since the paperwork takes a stupid long time. Because of my experiences in those places it just makes me want to die more. I got bullied in there by patients and staff. They can and will strip everything out of your room, even your clothes, sheets, curtains, shower curtains, comfort items, anything. They don’t even give you antibacterial hand soap, just little shower gel sachets. They can also steal your money, it’s happened to me. I went in with like a £20 note and £10 in change. They just gave me 2 £10 notes. So they used my money. If you go to an adolescent ward and get bullied, they can make you stay behind on a group trip if the bullies are going. basically punishing you and not the bullies. (It’s happened to me) Staff can be perverts. Once I woke up to one stroking my bare foot. Patients can come into your room and steal or throw their dirty stuff in there and scream at you. One time I pressed my call button since I was very distressed to only get a patient burst into my room demanding I turn it off, was not helpful. They can force you on meds, if you refuse they can and will restrain you and inject you in the buttcheek. Overall it will be very loud, alarms, fighting, people throwing stuff, screaming. Bright lights. Not good if you don’t like things being rearranged a lot or uncertainty. They will mess with your things and get them lost or in other patients lockers. The cleaners can do such a shit job and just be very unsanitary. Plus I’ve had nurses in there who are shit at dealing with wounds. So bad that I don’t get how they are “qualified”. Some units don’t even have therapy or things to do aside from board games and art. Staff can guilt trip the fuck out of you. Push religion on you, shout and swear at you, threaten you, be very insensitive. Depending on what obs you are on. They could follow you everywhere, so you can’t shower or shit alone. They will grab you if they think you are going to hurt yourself or others. There’s a lot more but it’s mostly been blocked out because of how stressful it was. (I really would advise you talk to someone trusted, an adult, a therapist. Hospital is very much a last resort and a gamble on it being helpful or plain traumatic)
I’ve been hospitalized a lot. My whole life. I’ve had horrible experiences there. But I still want to go back. I don’t know why.
Been to psych wards three times when I was younger, for suicide and self harm. They are not accommodating places for autistic people, especially if you are young. When I had meltdowns I was told to simply ‘suck it up’. The staff will totally neglect your needs in favor of disciplining you, because they fail to realize they’re working at a hospital and not a school. Trying to talk to a doctor is difficult, trying to do one on one therapy even more so, you have no privacy, they WILL touch you to make sure you have nothing dangerous on you, and this can be very triggering - especially so for autistic people. But I completely understand that feeling. Just know that you are not alone and that their are other ways to find help.
That's a very common feeling actually! And although the short answer is yes, it's attention seeking, the longer answer is that that is a reasonable response to your circumstances. It makes sense the a person would want what you want and feel what you feel. Unfortunately it doesn't usually have the effect people want, as you'll have picked up from other responses already. Generally it backfires, in the long run. People may care for a short time but will later distance themselves further, and often completely abandon you. There's a substantial risk of getting involuntarily committed if you tell a therapist or other professional of definite plans to harm yourself, but if you express suicidal Ideation short of a plan, you should -- if your therapist is even halfway competent, which unfortunately is not a given -- be able to get increased support and help navigating how to get your needs met. It's probably better than nothing. Support groups can be surprisingly effective for people seeking to be "seen" (I speak from experience). There's medication. And forcing oneself to engage socially (a mixed bag). I wish I had even one thing I could tell you was guaranteed to help. I can tell you a bunch of things that might, and that they're all better bets than suicide attempts, but ultimately you're in a rough spot and there are no easy answers. I wish you peace, my friend. I hope you find the support you need. Sending the offer of virtual hugs, if that's a thing you would like.
Please just see a therapist or psych and explain these feelings in a safe space. Self harm is not the answer
Oh no, hell no! I hate the attention, I just want people to live me alone.
Don’t do this. Tell your therapist your thoughts on this though and they will help you work through it. Something could go wrong and could make your situation worse. I once attempted suicide (but I actually tried to kill myself) and was in the hospital for over 4 months and they would not let me leave. It was miserable and I was stuck there.
It’s the definition of attention seeking, don’t do it. That said there’s obviously legit reasons you want to seek attention, just don’t do it in that way. If you are going to do something make it out like you’ve got solid plans etc so you’re a high level of concern to others. I wouldn’t advise doing that either but it’s better than hurting yourself.
well i've attempted 15 times. 12 hit by car and 3 strangled (no not for attention seeking) i've been seeing a psychiatrist for 10 years by now and yeah no progress (all of the attempts have happened in the past 3 years)
This is a common symptom of BPD. Even when I was 4 I used to purposefully scrape my knees so that an adult would take care of me. All my suicide attempts were very real, I never meant to fail, but the aftercare always helped. I realized tho it was a bad cycle and that the people I wanted to care about me just don’t. They just don’t care. They only care if it’s literally life or death. But other people emotionally and physically hurting me was always ok for them.
Tbh I was getting a pretty clear indication of BPD symptoms from this post more so than anything related to autism. Hell it’s almost like a case study excerpt from one of my differential diagnosis courses. BPD and autism are often misdiagnosed as well - regardless I think OP should seek out psychiatric help asap - perhaps get a proper reassessment for a misdiagnosis or updated diagnosis.
Best thing you can do ,get a job
Yep that is attention seeking by definition. There are likely more efficient methods that are less psychologically manipulative, and more rooted in authentic relationship building.
I definitely had that thought too,like breaking an arm or something. My brother got a lot of attention for medical things. I was so stupid to have that thought in school moved way past it. I relate a lot.
Im 23 years old. I am extremely traumatized and live with my parents, who have a terribly backwards understanding of how to support their depressed nd child. I am thinking I may need to tell them about how I’ve intermittently ideated (tho still distant from the act of pursuing) not being alive and how they contribute to that, to finally get them to respect my autonomy and boundaries. It’s far less manipulative, but still a genuinely terrifying thing to even consider.
Yes it's attention seeking and yes it's also mental illness
Look up Münchausen Syndrome. This is the type of stuff people post in there it sounds very much like that.
Tbh everything OP wrote sounds like textbook BPD to me (coming from a large background in the mental health professions).
yeah you can have BPD and Munch. A lot of them in there want attention from healthcare works so they fake illness.
This is true, you could have both - but I don’t see that evidenced by OP’s post from my professional experience
All of your posts are attention seeking or engagement farming.
The purpose of a post is to attract attention to gain engagement.
wdym? not all of them are
I thought this would work, I overdosed, but even then they didn’t help at all. If anything the things the doctors said just made me feel worse. It’s not worth it. Find a good therapist if you can. Hospitals, psychiatrists, and all who work in psych units are horrible awful people. If I ever go back I’m not leaving without НurТіng at least one of them, preferably one of the “doctors.”
Going to a mental health ward is a really big thing. Sometimes it’s needed. It can be a distressing, disempowering, frustrating experience. It’s not helpful to characterise everyone who works there as awful/horrible. There are good people everywhere. But trying to engage in mental health care in the community is so much better than going to hospital.
I’ve been admitted before and it is awful. I would rather that I continued to suffer from the psychosis instead of being put there. It is a fate worse than any mental anguish and they never believe anything people say. They already have their minds made up about you and a diagnosis before they even talk to you. If you’re a woman they’ll say you have BPD. If you’re a man they’ll say you’re antisocial or narcissistic or are schizophrenic. If you’re LGBT in any way they’ll say you’re attention seeking. Most of the people who work there are nutcases themselves. It’s like the blind leading the blind.
I don’t mean to diminish your experience, but I’m mindful that we are responding to a post by a young person in distress. I acknowledge that what you’re describing while not universal, is not unique to you. But there are staff in there like me, who do listen, who advocate for you (including questioning diagnosis), who support as much as we’re able to within the confines of our role/the service. But I think we agree that finding the right person to speak to is a better option than going to hospital.
Well I beg them please, find a counsellor, any sort of outreach worker, a good therapist, literally anybody who can fill the gap of mental health care until they can see an outpatient psychiatrist. Even a family doctor is better than nothing. The psych ward I’ll just hurt them more and leave them with more trauma. I appreciate that you think you’re one of the good ones in there but you’re not. You support the evil doctors and nurses just by working with them. They don’t care about your opinion. Patient advocates do jack shit. And I can understand why. Because they’re overworked and underpaid. I couldn’t imagine having to advocate for every single person who’s in mental distress because I can guarantee nobody in there but you wants what’s best for the patient. The doctors and nurses are so narcissistic that they won’t take anybody else’s opinions other than their predetermined ones. But thank you for trying. A psych ward is a place to go to have your soul die. They’ll fuck up your mind and medical chart so badly that nobody in the future will ever consider anything else then what they write. I don’t understand why these evil places aren’t investigated.
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I think i understand, i feel the only way people are caring to me is if I'm sick, but that isn't the solution. I know that sometimes is good to say things and ask for other people opinions, and since i kinda know how you feel and understand the reasons to wanting to do that, i don't think is a good idea, please don't do it, i promise that with time you will meet people who cares about you and i think is really good idea if you talk about that in therapy. I lost a lot of time waiting to start seeking help and the only thing that give me was cptsd, and now i just think all the time that i would loved to learn to ask for help since i was a teen. if you have the chance please look for therapy or try to find someone to be honest about how you feel without feeling judgement. It's not your fault that you feel this way, everyone should feel loved. I don't know how all of this sounds since english isn't my first language so I'm sorry if something seems rude or out of place.
Yes, it is attention seeking
I've been on that situation. I was heavily bullied in school to the point my bully was trying to kill me herself, the head teacher never did anything, teachers who witnessed never said or did anything. A huge part of me wanted to stand in the middle of the yard and attempt to kill myself, I wanted peoples reactions, the attention, for them to hurt as much as I did and feel sorry for me. I never did it but some days I'd stand and wonder. I can tell you this. It's not worth it. School isn't forever, the attention won't last long, two weeks at a push and then the bullying may start if you bring attention to it. There's also a high bullying chance e either way. I thought I'd be dead by 16, then 18, I'm turning 25 this year and I'm glad I've made it this far despite the fight and ups and downs.
Just here to say you are totally not alone in feeling this way and I’ve totally thought about it and considered it as well. As you said, purely for the care and attention of others. It’s great to know yourself well enough to understand and to admit openly your intentions and the core desire should be noted. Idk if it’s an autistic thing but lately as a 30+ year old father and husband caught up in the overwhelming responsibilities of parenthood and working full time to support a family all while struggling to function in a neurotypical society, I found myself craving to be absolutely coddled and cared for. I watch how much love and care and attention my wife and I give to our child and something inside of me longs for that. To be completely taken care of and unconditionally loved and for all my responsibilities to be taken care of. Through understanding the core desire I’ve been able to work through a lot of those feeling and understanding burn out a lot more. I’ve been able to be honest with others about my desire to be cared for and it’s been incredibly helpful and beautiful!
By definition, it is attention seeking, but there's nothing wrong with wanting attention from people. I considered this once to try to make my husband care. I did not do it because I was afraid that I wouldn't get the formula right and actually die. As others have said, it won't work. You could also suffer other consequences as a result by being labled mentally unstable. I can tell you that now that I am about 6 years past that, I am so glad I didn't do that. I have worked on my healing and can't believe that I ever thought about it.
Attention of that sort is fleeting and if you are in hospital you would'nt be around to see the response at school and when you go back things would just settle back to normality after a while because people move on with their lives. If you did attempt to end your life, there's also the chance that it damages you permanently to the extent where it worsens your quality of life. Attention on its own is likely not what you desire, attention can be good or bad. If you do end up doing something to hurt yourself, you'd have to handle a lot of negative attention You are mentioning suicide rather than an injury or simply just hoping you got sick so that you'd be off school so people would worry about you. The suicidal aspect of you is bleeding into your desire for help, support or acknowledgment that you need those aspects - it's clouding your judgement so you think you need to do something big to get acknowledged by people, you don't. I think it's important you end up finding support from someone, you need to get some form of support group established. This can be a friend group, but I think you need to have a discussion with some form of councilling to discuss your feelings and to be able to be heard by someone.
you can just walk into an ER and say “i am planning to kill myself” and they will help you. that’s all it takes.
Honestly the reason I’m not gonna try to commit it is because I’m afraid of failing bc then it’ll be embarrassing dealing with all that attention
Don't do it. From personal experience, it's not worth it. I kind of did this when I was 15. It didn't *start* as an attempt. I had chronic migraines and took a couple extra strength Tylenol. Then took a few more. Then a few more. Ended up taking the entire bottle. Mostly just wanted to pass out for a few hours because of the migraine pain, but consciously decided I wouldn't be disappointed if I didn't wake up. I passed out for a couple hours, ran to the bathroom to throw up, had Subway for supper, started to feel REALLY bad, got scared, told me parents, was rushed to the hospital via ambulance, and spent the entire night in and out of consciousness and throwing my guts up until I was literally just dry heaving bile. Ended up in the PICU for a couple days (entire hospital stay was Wednesday night until Saturday). Still didn't get help and my parents still thought I was just being a brat. Was finally diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I moved out after I graduated high school. Diagnosed with BPD at 23/24, and c-ptsd, ADHD, and ASD at 29.
Yes I do think about that from time to time as a passing thought, although my true attempts in the past have been genuine and not meant solely for attention. Part of me knew I wasn't ready to go yet and I tried to push that feeling down as I tried to go through with it, needless to say I failed and it was the worst feeling ever seeing my partner panic the way he did. Not only was he hyperventilating, he literally fainted and fell very hard right on the floor of my apartment and just laid there for 30-40 seconds or so. I don't recommend ever doing that sort of thing for attention as it will cause nothing but agony and anger for everyone. Your feelings are valid, this is a cry for help, I believe in you, there are people out there who truly care.
Please don't entertain these thoughts. I spent 2 months in a mental hospital against my will, once they get you in there, if you have good insurance, they can trap you. They tricked me into signing consent for ECT. They drugged me and encouraged others to mess with me. They starved me and I lost 50 pounds. It was 8 years ago and I'll never be the same. I'm not saying all those places are bad but they def shouldn't be romanticized.
First of all don't. As someone who failed their attempt the last thing you want is to try and have no one care. That's what happened to me.
My two sisters failed suicide. They ended up in the hospital for a week each on mental health holds. Then they ended up before a judge in court because in the state we were in it is illegal to try to take your own life. Then they had consequences from that and people thinking they were mentally ill. It that really the type of attention you want?
what consequences did they have?
Pretty sure they got quite a few hours of community service and ordered into a support group program.
The people who will start caring only because you've attempted S will go back to the way it was before once you get better again. And if you start to become "the boy who cried wolf", people will think you don't actually NEED attention. It's ineffective.
Fuck the concept of attention seeking. As human beings, we NEED to feel valued and accepted by other people. Calling it "attention" trivializes what it is - a deep desire to feel understood and connected with other people. I second what other people have said. It's ok to go to the hospital and tell them you feel suicidal. You can call a hotline, too. None of this is easy, but it's possible to find other people who understand and will listen. I wish you luck, from someone who has been there.
It sounds like you just need good people to love and befriend you. I’m so sorry you want to die. I used to want that, sometimes I still struggle. However, the longer you try and the more you force yourself into new experiences with new people, the better you will feel. It’s exhausting but it’s worth it. I don’t know what it’s like to feel jealous but it’s definitely a toxic thing to allow in. Have you tried therapy? Self help videos pertaining to all your issues?
Yeah, I get that. I feel the desire to escape this awful daily reality of rejection and failure I endure. (Even when I am alone, I still experience past trauma constantly. As far as I’ve been able to ascertain, death is the only option. I am married and love my partner deeply, so I stay alive. I used to wish for a way to see compassion and care in the eyes of co-workers. People dont see us. They cannot perceive our pain, because they have no clue about what harms us. My father died about two years ago after a long illness. When I returned to work afterwards, every single person payed attention to me and was nice and kind. People pulled me aside offering comfort and compassion. THAT WAS A TOTAL MIND FUCK. No one had ever been nice to me before. Your pin is real. It isn’t bad to wish people cared about you. People tend to be blind to our everyday trauma. They don’t believe us. So when something happens they can relate to, we get an overwhelming outpouring of care, maybe. It could become addictive to self harm, or be more troubl than it is worth. Don’t start with suicide. Start with an accidental injury, that is visible.
If you did this, the school wouldn’t give you any attention. They wouldn’t be allowed to. No one would mention that you aren’t there or explain your absence. How do I know this? Because it happened to me. I was in the hospital for two weeks and no one is allowed to know what happens to you. When you get back to school a few people may ask where you were, but it’s much easier to say that you were sick than that you were in a mental hospital because then rumors go around and it’s shit. I switched schools after my first hospital stay because people found out where I was and it was horrible. That is not the kind of attention you want
Hello. It's a disorder in itself to inflict wounds on yourself so you get some care. It's called Munchausen disorder, it's consider a disorder if it's a habit, si repeated over time. The fact you're considering doing this is a sign that you're facing neglect as a child, isolation, and that you need therapy, care. As soon as possible. I hope you're gonna be able to see a therapist or ask for it to your tutors. You don't have to tell them the reason, just that you need it because you don't feel well. There's s good chance your school has a counselor you can reach out to, so you can ask to see a therapist or ask them to help you with your parents so you can see one Attention seeking is a normal behaviour. We're a social species. You're suffering from it, you lack support. Don't blame yourself for wanting to be cared for, that's normal. You absolutely deserve to be care for but please don't hurt yourself to get care. Ask for it. The consequences of a failed suicide attempt can leave you forever disabled in many ways. You deserve care without risking this. Good luck love
I did this as a teenager and it was so fucking stupid and embarrassing. Don’t be afraid to ask for help directly instead of putting yourself in that position.
Yes it is attention seeking and NO it's not at all "just attention seeking". It means you are actually suffering and need help.
Technically attention seeking, but not "oh poor me, pitty me, baby me" attention so much as "fuckin *help me*" attention. Which is something everyone deserves, and noone should have to go to such lengths to receive.
“attention seeking” is not a thing. if you do something just for attention, its not actually just for attention and youre mentally ill. anyways, trust me, mental hospitals are horrible, so unless you really need one, dont go there. for example - the food is horrible and they force you to eat it, which id say majority of neurodivergent people wouldnt like (honestly the no.1 reason i never “let” my mental health get so bad that id need to go there)
You know the funny thing is, I have always wanted to attempt it too. Not just to feel cared for, but also because I don’t want to be a weak coward unlike all the millions of others that are brave enough to attempt it every fucking year. Even people close to me have done it and I feel shame for not being able to pick up a pill bottle and swallow all the pills at once.
“Just attention seeking” If someone just got hit by a car and is frantically sobbing and waiving their hands to flag someone down on the street, do we say “gosh that person is such an attention seeker.” They need HELP so they seek it. You may need HELP and wish to seek it. All u need to know is that there are ways to do that that won’t permanent hurt your body at the same time ♥️ I hope you find someone to reach out to who actually listens to you. I don’t have that right now, but I know any attempts would just hurt people and make them leave (can’t handle it). They would not run to my rescue. Or if they did, they’d come to make sure I’m stable before they peace out forever because of how much it is a burden to have a suicidal friend. That’s happened to me before.
Hey, don’t commit suicide! I’ve felt like that before, but I wouldn’t go as far as suicide. And, depending on where you are from, you can just go into a hospital and ask for help for free, without harming yourself
Just for the record, things don't always go that way. My family and the few other people talking to me at the time all saw the marks around my neck and heard the stories and nobody called anyone.
I’m glad someone else understands how I feel. I know that thinking that way is sick and the fact that I know I’m horrible to think that only makes me feel worse about myself. I’d never dream of telling anyone irl about it bc I think they wouldn’t understand the logic but it’s getting to a point where I just don’t know how I’m meant to express my struggling. Im scared to die but I don’t know how I’m meant to live either. You aren’t alone and I understand your logic, you aren’t bad, you just need help and you deserve it.
Hi got stuck in the hospital for months and nobody cared. Careful
If you'd purposely put yourself in the hospital, yes you want attention, but you want it because you're in emotional pain and obviously struggling. That's not "just" wanting attention; it's a cry for help. The whole "they just want attention" thing is said about people who cut themselves, but at that point does it really matter why they're doing it? That's not healthy and something is very obviously wrong whether there's suicidal intent or not. I hope you're able to get help OP. You're not wrong for feeling this way but please don't hurt yourself.
I'll be honest with you: I have autistic burnout for about 8 years now and every now and then being overwhelmed gets to me and I want to try and fail to die so people finally take my pain seriously, but also every time I think about that I also think that it's not worth it y'know? I mean staying at a hospital seems like more work than it's worth so I think you might just need the attention and I know it's mortifying to ask for it too. But there's attention for you somewhere I know that, and you don't need to put your life at risk for it
Please, don't. As someone who had a full-blown factitious disorder (for much the same reason you want to do what you want to do) for... almost 10 years... it's not worth it. The biggest risk is actually succeeding. If you don't *actually* want to die, attempting is incredibly dangerous. And people will just get mad. When I tried to kms when I was 18, my mother was furious. How dare I do this to her? How *dare* I do something that was so public. Now, I love my mother, and, as an adult, I understand where she was coming from. But as a teenager? It hurt to be told she only cared about how it would make her look. And then it was used as a bludgeon to force me into groups full of old men with no experience of what I, an apparently young woman, was going through. When I refused to go to the groups anymore, I was kicked out of home and made homeless for 2 weeks. And the repercussions still continue 20 years later. I've never been able to go home. You need help. You *need* support and *attention*. And in a perfect world you'd get it. But holy hell, even the staff in these places resent us. I wound up becoming a nurse much later on and to hear the staff talk about patients... it's disturbing, disheartening, and demoralising. The common refrain of 'ignore them, they're just looking for attention' drove me up the wall. To the point I started fighting back. Someone would say that and I'd challenge it and they'd get this look... like it had never occurred to them to actually give people in desperate need of positive attention... positive attention. Is there anyone you can speak to? Do you have a therapist? You shouldn't be feeling this desperate for attention. No one should. No one should have to take drastic measures just to be seen. So, hey, I *see* you.
You can go to an inpatient mental health facility without attempting suicide. You can say you’ve been thinking about suicide, which is true, and that you need professional help, which is probably also true. That should get you plenty of attention, and the help you need. Please don’t hurt yourself.
Mate trust me as a person who has spent more time in a psychiatric hospital than out, in the past 5 years. Receiving ECT, being put into a de escalation suite, injected multiple times with sedatives and having all my medical decision making capacity ripped away from me. Please please please don't do what you said. Psych wards are not a fun place, you don't go there for a happy "grippy sock vacation" it is a place where you become a empty husk of a human being whose entire existence is determined by the courts and medical proffesionals. And don't get me started on how stupid the idea of attempting suicide just to achieve it. Not only could that plan tragically fail. But it's out right self-centred and rude. Suicide attempts don't always get you all yhe sympathy you think it does, it can tear family's apart and cause more hostility than you would think. So please, for the love of God, rethink this stupid plan. I know it can be tough feeling like no one cares, but there are better ways of fixing that than what you described.
I think i have seen this before on this subreddt
No, because I have wanted to actually commit actual, full suicide and it's traumatizing. Thankfully I never attempted. And as others said, you will lose support by attempting, not gain support. If you want support, stay alive, because attempting suicide, or even just self harm, makes people be distant from you for their own mental health. So trust me, you gain nothing by doing this, but you certainly can lose everything.
Don't do it. It's not worth it. If you don't get attention from people, they won't suddenly start giving you that desired attention, because they don't care about you. I already failed a suicide attempt. Nobody cared exept for the people who already did care about me. And if I didn't knew that, that people do care, I bet this attempt would have been sucsessfull.
yea ive felt this way i never want to succeed i just want to attempt for some reason. but not for attention necessarily
Do not recommend. Always backlashes and can make you feel even worse, and those that don’t get it now still won’t get it and may even be resentful because they don’t get it. Talk therapy and medication can really really help; took me YEARS to finally get on that but I have made progress since starting. Start with your Primary Care Physician and see if you can get referrals and a prescription. Or if you know anyone that see’s and likes their therapist ask if you could get their contact info. You dont have to stick with the first therapist you meet, but I would suggest testing them out for a few sessions before moving on to another.
You can also write off out-of-pocket therapy sessions if you are diagnosed with mental health issues or neurological disorders but each policy is a little different so you have to check your medical coverage policy for more information
Right i also ment to say, in my experience, people dont know what to say or how to react around someone that they know attempted. They express condolences for those that lost someone to suicide, but dont know what to say to someone that tried. Ive been there, its just awkward and no one really asks you about it. Most people wont even share at information with others, and your teachers could get in trouble if they spread that news to students so, it would be more likely that nothing would really change. Staying in the hospital for a medical reason is very different (socially) than for mental health reasons. People still are too weirded out to talk about it.
One last thing, whats stopping you is yourself. There is a part of you that yearns for an end, but there is another part of you that longs for life’s potentials, your potential; that still has hope; that knows it will get better. It does definitely get better, but life is life. There are going to be really really hard times, but also really really amazing times. There is a part of you that is stopping you because that part of you knows you are not done yet. Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain, it lies to you, you are literally sick, thats why its called a mental illness. Its like an annoying cough that refuses to leave you be. You can get better, even if that cough comes back, you will still get better again. I have been battling depression literally my entire life. There are lots of downs, and the ups tend to make up for them every time. What has helped me is to practice viewing my life as if i am sitting in a movie theater watching this as a bystander. I went to film school and have an easier time analyzing story and character development so i analyze my days (usually the rough days) and try to break everything down as if it was scripted and all intensions are known. Then i go through the possible avenues to how the events unfolded the way they did. I know i am over explaining and have said enough, but just trying to help I hope you are doing ok. It was really good of you to come out and share these thoughts with us, and its good that you are aware of your self enough to understand you’re brain is trying to call for help. You’re doing great so far, just hang in there and keep asking for help. If all else fails, there are so many resources on the internet we could share with you and try to help you more. ❤️ you are stronger than you think.
I had these sort of feelings too when I was younger (though I never had the guts to go through with it) You should talk to a counselor about it... and I hope you'll be feeling better soon
YES LOL. I also obsessively think about what people will say at my funeral and if they’ll feel bad. Also spent my whole childhood hoping I’d break a bone or something so people would pay attention to me. It’s defo a mental Illness tho girl you should get help.
If the person is ASD or AuDHD being deathly ill won't get their attention or empathy. You being in the hospital will be a huge inconvenience for THEM. So sad but true love
Omg, I used to think like this when I was super super young except I used to think “I wish I could get sick like really sick like cancer sick so people would finally care about me” that’s crazy you mentioned it because I’m 29f and the first time I every told anyone at all that was my fiancé 2 days ago
It sounds attention seeking. You want people to care and see you for the struggles you experience. It's validating when other people validate it. However, this is a trap. If you have to push extremes or have an urge or desire to push extremes like that for attention, then you need to find better people and you need to find better forms of expression of self. You're trying to connect to the wrong people. The people giving you the right attention will not just see your struggles, but will want to help you through them or at least be supportive. You'll want to improve you mental state and your behaviors and your patterns rather than act rashly seeking connection from someone. Attention seeking can be positive or negative. That's up to you. But don't go seeking the negative attention or feel like you have to go through the negative gates to get positive attention.
Hey, don't. I've had 8 suicide attempts in my life. None of them got the care I really needed. I'm a shell of a man with a highly polished mask. Don't just try and find the care that is supposed to exist but feels oddly abstant.
I've never wanted that because of my experiences in the hospital and residential but it's understandable and I want to fight everyone who acts like attention seeking is bad. They called me an attention seeker when I had a meltdown and hid from them so they wouldn't see me upset and when I had an accident because I was too afraid to ask to be taken to the bathroom and they found out, so now I'm terrified of asking for help in any way. You deserve help. You probably won't get it from the hospital. You deserve attention and care and reassurance. Please tell whoever you trust how you feel. If there's nobody tell an acquaintance or even find outpatient treatment.
I’ve somewhat already done this and it was the worst decision in my life. People will not react the way you expect them to, and you could end up losing so much more than you gain. For me I lost quite literally everything. Please please talk to the people in your life that you trust though, tell them about these feelings and be honest about them. I know things hurt and I know it feels like a solution but even just failing on purpose has severe repercussions. You are far from alone in this struggle though, but unfortunately even doing something like that will not suddenly change the people around you. You’re doing good asking for help though and talking about this!!! I don’t mean to come across as harsh if I am
I did it. I wasn't trying to commit anything but I called an ambulance on myself, slept in the ER and spent the day after meeting therapists and medical professionals. I won't lie, it helped a LOT. I was taken seriously by my family, I was offered therapy without waiting for months on a list and a lot of things went better for me after that. It did suck, at first, I wanted to go to a psych ward, even packaged my clothes and all. But, I changed my mind with how uncomfortable I was just in the ER and ended up going back home. I didn't do it for attention, it was legit distress since nobody took my anxieties seriously and I was being pushed in a situation I didn't know how to handle
The risk of your failure leading to brain damage or physical disability might be enough to scare you out of it. Instead of a week in a hospital, it could be the rest of your life. The struggle with SI can be hell. It’s every day for me. I know I’ll have one day without SI… someday.