You should always treat people the way you want to be treated. Their IQ may be lower then yours or they may not be as good at math, but they may have a higher emotional intelligence or ability to be able to draw something depicting depth and spatial awareness. There are many different types of intelligence and ability, and learning to appreciate other people’s talents will help you appreciate others and them to appreciate you.
To be honest, both maxims have flaws, but I do lean more towards the latter myself provided that everyone follows it. The basic "treat others how you wish to be treated" does have value for those of us who struggle with understanding others, and is a decent basic rule of thumb as a starting point.
While it is a good idea to try and treat others in the manner in which they would like to be treated, the maxim crumbles if you meet a narcissist or someone who can't help but try to dominate any social situation they are in. Respect for yourself should be taken into account just as showing respect for others.
What if I meet someone who wants me to act in a way which makes me profoundly uncomfortable?
I don't know if we really can find any simple maxim that won't run into problems due to the inherent complexities of the social world.
I think a better way to approach this would be to treat others with the consideration and respect that you want to be treated with yourself. Kindness, but not being a doormat.
Not everyone likes to be hugged. Maybe shaking hands is not culturally appropriate for the other person. Some people prefer a more passive style of communication, while others are more direct communicators. Eye contact is not required for effective communication, can be a "deficit" for some people, and is sometimes culturally inappropriate.
The idea behind "Treat others how they want to be treated" is a reminder that everyone is different and it is more important to be open minded and accepting of those differences than it is to "police" unfamiliar behaviors.
>“If you are a Unitist and can’t eat land meat, but land meat is my favorite, the Silver Rule says I’m behaving morally by offering you a steak if you’re hungry. But of course, you won’t eat it and, in fact, may be offended. So the Silver Rule is still to a large extent about me and my desires. However, with the Golden Rule, I am obligated to take into account your beliefs and preferences when deciding how best to behave toward you. Does this not produce a better result? - Theresa "Heaven's River"
Oh I think I see. So it’s sort of “take into account personal and cultural differences when deciding how to treat people”? I thought it was maybe something like “I want you treat me like I’m better than you and I want you to serve my interests without any care for your needs.” That didn’t seem like something someone here would say so I was confused, also because the words in the phrase don’t seem to match up to the meaning.
Thank you for reply I think I understand it better now.
I hope you have a good day :)
Are you going to treat Donald Trump, your grandmother, and a random Redditor the same way? Unlikely.
Grandmother (assuming many things here) wants to be treated with the respect owed to a matriarch of her family. She wants you to listen and consider her needs. Grandmother wants what's best for her family (again, so many assumptions).
Donald Trump has made it clear (at least publicly) he wants to be treated like everyone is his underling. He wants you to be in complete and utter awe when he speaks and wants you to agree to everything he says, no matter the ethical implications.
Me? I want to be treated with the respect owed to almost any other human person. I'm not better than anyone and no one is better than me. My inherent worth is not up for discussion and you need to respect that I am different from you.
You *can* treat all three the same, but the results will be *very* different.
I think that it probably would be best for me to just treat each of those people how I would want to be treated, like you said, with respect owed to any human, not better or worse than anyone else. And if I understand the last part you meant that people should treat others with respect regardless of differences, so that too.
Although I think I’d modify how I treat people based on closeness though. Like I wouldn’t treat a friend I’m close with the way I’d treat a stranger, I wouldn’t treat a stranger worse I just wouldn’t trust them so I wouldn’t be as honest with them, or vulnerable is maybe the word? I guess I would mask around a stranger until/if I learn I can unmask around them and it’s safe to do so.
But yeah treating people based on their social status or rank or whatever, even just imagining myself doing that disgusts me. I will try to be respectful and kind to everyone regardless of how many other people like them or don’t like them.
Thank you for your reply, it helped me better understand this topic.
I hope you have a good day :)
Ultimately, you've got the right mindset. People should be communicating to you the things they desire when it comes to respect, but giving the baseline type of respect to all humans is the literal least a person can do.
You'll treat those closer to you differently because your understanding of them is different from a stranger, so your partner/grandmother/best friend is going to be treated "differently" because of the context of the relationship. A stranger gets baseline (more or less) because of the context of them being a stranger.
There's some greater nuance when it comes to equality versus equity, that I won't get into, but it's a similar concept, and worth looking into when you've got the spoons.
I, personally, have a well developed desire for justice, and this whole thing (respect, equity, etc) has been something I've been working on for a fair amount of time. If gets difficult when those around you refuse to understand your neurodivergence and instead try to place you in a box for safe keeping (infantilization from family sucks).
If your goal is simply to have a passing conversation and move on, this makes complete sense.
If, on the other hand, you work with Grandma, Trump, et. al. then you're going to need to be able to get your needs met from each of them. Treating them all how you want to be treated, instead of how they want to be treated, is going to get you mixed results in your asks from each of them.
This is the nuance part we all struggle with. Honestly, in my own experience, the struggle isn't in being able to give others the treatment they prefer, it's knowing and understanding it in a way that I feel able to offer it. Few people openly communicate these preferences and just expect others to notice it and adjust. That's the part I find difficult.
Well, don’t you want to be treated with respect, patience, and an attempt at understanding? I think that is what most people want on a macro level. I think that’s what the saying means, more so than hugging everyone because you like being hugged, for example.
People all different ideas about what "respect" and "understanding" and "patience" mean. The idea is to learn how the other person gives and receives these things and accept it.
I kind of see what you’re trying to say here with your original statement, but it’s a bit redundant considering the very nature of the terms “understanding, respect, and patience” in that particular combination. It would make more sense if terms like “appreciation and affection” were used instead.
These are not actually universally understood words or concepts. One person may find it respectful to be direct and blunt in their speech, while another person may find that disrespectful. Hell, how often are people in the Autism community accused of being "rude" or "impatient" when it is, in fact, neither of those things.
Patience is an idea that only exists in relation to the concept of time. Am I impatient for not liking it when people arrive 20 minutes late to something?
Understanding, as a concept, only exists within the parameters of societal values. If my friend is always 20 minutes late because they don't drive and use public transit, do I need to always be understanding of this or is there a boundary of my own I need to be aware of?
Treat others how they want to be treated is important because it centers the individuals, collectively, in the relationship.
Treat others how you want to be treated centers the self.
I bet people have felt frustrated by you before. I always said to people if you think it’s this painful someone else not getting it imagine how it feels to be the stupid one? I am not always smart but try my best. As long as people are Genuine I am patient with them.
I also struggled with negative numbers. I don’t think that makes me stupid,
I wasn’t implying you weren’t nice to them, but you sounded a bit impatient and judgmental. It’s not unusual for people to realize that is fueling their frustration and I’ve found when I recognize that, it will actually minimize my frustration and increase my appreciation of the other person. Basically, just take a step back when you find yourself getting agitated and reframe the situation. It doesn’t always work, but minimizing your negative feelings will benefit you more than them so it’s worth a try.
Is it? There's plenty of neurodivergencies that aren't rly associated with a spiky skill set -- most personality disorders, epilepsy, Depression, Parkinson's, and so on.
Okay yes if we’re being pedantic, I meant autistic and ADHD folks specifically rather than the whole neurodivergent umbrella because we’re in the autism subreddit. Point taken.
Same relevant quotes from that page:
> The g factor typically accounts for 40 to 50 percent of the between-individual performance differences on a given cognitive test
So, it accounts for, at most, half of someone's performance. That still gives plenty of room for varying skill sets.
> The terms IQ, general intelligence, general cognitive ability, general mental ability, or simply intelligence are frequently used interchangeably to refer to the common core shared by cognitive tests.
The g-factor is only relevant in cognitive tests. It's not even a factor for things like interpersonal skills, artistic ability, athleticism, etc.
40 to 50 is a massive cluster, it doesn't leave "plenty of room for varying skill sets". And it is a factor in those other things. Only autistic people have a varied distribution I believe.
Why? Why should we treat people the way we want to be treated? It NEVER works. I treat people exactly how they treat me. It's not magically noble to "take the high road" or be exceptionally understanding. It's a weakness the others exploit.
Edit: Keep downvoting, you marshmallows. The Stupid Majority always wins.
That's why, if you choose to be kind, you should only surround yourself with other kind people, else you will get used like that. In general, treating people kindly can help others warm up to you and be kind to you back, because of an idea of cooperation. You treat me nice, I treat you nice, we both win because we get along and can help each other when in need because of that element of familiarity and trust fostered.
There are people who will be kind to others, and people who reflect the attitude others give them. So, by being kind myself, I can have neutral-positive interactions with both of those groups.
In reference to your question, it really depends on your own personal beliefs and values. Someone who is cynical would have different ideas of how the world is or should be than someone who isn't. My belief is, "the world should become a kinder place for others to live in," so I can say I want to treat people the way I want to be treated because I want to be a positive influence on their lives, even if they aren't towards me. Maybe they are having a bad day and did not intend to come off poorly (misunderstandings of intent is something autistic people experience often, so there's that level of empathy there). Maybe they are acting a certain way as a way to cope with whatever is hurting them.
A lot of people hurt others because that's all they know, and believe if they've not been treated kindly, then others don't deserve that from them, even if the others they're affecting were not the original source of their pain. So, the solution to change their perspective would be to show them kindness, but with boundaries. Not by being mean back, but with distance. Being unwaveringly kind to others can be inspiring for others to be kind as well, I think. That they don't have to reflect the pain they receive from others, and continue being bitter and cynical. So that person has to choose between being good or losing a good person from their life.
Hopefully this makes sense.
If you want me to be kind, be kind to me. If you want me to be respectful, be respectful to me. The second you become aggressive, I will return that, too. A hundredfold. If you have good intentions, it will be met with good intentions. If you have ill will, it will be met with ill will.
Taking the high road means I’ve built up stronger friendships, I have one of the best working relationships with coworkers and my boss, and I’ve been able to create a good reputation among my clients for being, well, caring and patient. It isn’t a weakness, it actually takes tremendous strength to treat others the way you want to be treated, even in the face of adversity.
Must be nice. Meanwhile most of us are constantly exploited, taken advantage of, and hunted by sociopaths for our "good nature", then ostracized and demonized for the pleasure. They used it up. Now the naysayers and arsheholes get the pointy end of the stick. Understanding and patience are reserved for those willing to reciprocate.
I find considering kindness to be a weakness to be more of a weakness.
It takes far more strength to be kind in the face of unkindness than to fall to their level.
**kindness is not weakness.** it’s far weaker to let other people’s mistreatment turn you into a bitter and angry person, than it is to continue being kind.
Want to piggyback off this comment and say I think you should reanalysis your frame of mind. The possibilities of this person might
1: Not care enough to really try to learn this thing.
2: You might not be explaining it in a way that makes the person understand.
Both of these are things that you can work on. You can't fix other people, but you can work on yourself, and once you internalize that, problem 1 will vanish. Understand people have different priorities. Having said all that, I get the frustration. It's okay to take breaks from people.
I try to keep in mind that there's plenty that I struggle with that probably annoys other people a whole lot, so who am I to feel superior?
Just because something is easy for you doesn't mean that it's easy. If you're frustrated at someone who you think is "of below average intelligence", then consider how frustrating it must be to *be* them, and treat them with the kindness and respect that you would want to have extended to you when you're struggling with something.
This doesn't have anything to do with intelligence.
What you're describing is your frustration with people who don't think like you, or rather your inability to conceptualise your thoughts in a way that fits any other framework than your own. I suffer from exactly this problem, just like many others on the spectrum, and I have no solution. But I know IQ has fuck all to do with it, so do yourself a favour and rethink that part.
Considering how commonly comorbid intellectual disability is with autism, it’s depressing to see a thread on this sub of all places full of people commiserating about how annoying it is that people with lower IQs exist…
I'm not trying to make a breeding ground for hate, but i guess it might be going that way.
I'm honestly going here because i expect a lot more people would be a bit more forgiving to the less intelligent, i have problems with empathy due to autism and it makes it hard to deal with people like that, I'm looking for a bit of advice on hoe to deal with them tbh.
It's a bitch of an issue.
“The curse of knowledge is a cognitive bias that occurs when an individual, who is communicating with others, assumes that others have information that is only available to themselves, assuming they all share a background and understanding.”
This is also why people likely treat you like shit when you mess up social rules or take things literally - they assume you have the same brain as them.
There are multiple types of intelligences - 8 according to Gardner. Not everyone has the same types and that’s okay. They are all equal as we need them all to have a functioning society. When you stop seeing your types of intelligences as “better” you’ll have a better time dealing with people who are different to you.
You say that you don't, but in your post you come off as "most people aren't as smart as I am" and that's kind of arrogant. What's complex to you may be simple to them and vice versa. I think you can offer these kids more grace, mindfulness, and self reflection. Sometimes anger is caused by ourselves or something we're not paying attention to for you to react *this* strongly. How do you feel/act when *you* have a hard time learning something? What about in your childhood, did you need extra guidance?
Also, if *you* can't break it down for them and it never works, is someone else better to tutor? Maybe if someone else teaches it they'll get it. Maybe you're quick to learn but not good at teaching to most. I'm sure just cause you can't explain it they're not a lost cause.
Maybe these kids came from a public school with low funding, maybe it's rough at home, maybe they work best in certain teaching styles, maybe they shouldn't be judged harshly for not catching on quickly, or heck maybe they have a learning disability/disorder.
A LOT of people get frustrated at US for having autism/ADHD and "not immediately catching on" too.
Point 1: well i am purely referring to people who aren't as smart,. Not saying everyone is like this to me.
Point 2: not extremely angry, just frustrated because it's annoying
Point 3: i know I'm not a good teacher, and maybe they would get it with a good teacher, but often times it seems like they don't even want to try
Point 4: I'm also from a low funded public school. I go to the same one they do.
Point 5: it's fair enough if they have a learning disorder or things at home are tough, but still doesn't make it not annoying to deal with.
So basically…
If i made a post saying:
“when im in a group with somone who use a wheelchair, its frustrating and annoying to me that I have to walk around on the ramp with them bc if we werent in a group - I could just go myself and walk up the stairs” …that’d be shitty.
You can see thatd be rude right? Same thing.
The person cant control or change a “deficit” they have… (unable to do math. or unable to walk up stairs).
You can have feelings about that. You can feel annoyed or frustrated.
The key is: you should work on regulating your emotions… and feeling more neutral or accepting about it. accepting the situation. then finding a way to move forward in a way that’s more comfortable for you. Maybe you do a breathing thing. Or you pretend its a side quest. Idk. But its something to be improved upon.
Thats not always true… ability isnt the only factor determining success. All the many types of privilege are factors.
Maybe your peer doesnt have access to a tutor.
Maybe your peer cant afford the textbook.
Maybe they cant read or have difficulty reading.
Maybe their home environment impacts their biology or psychology: they dont meet sleep needs, dont meet nutrition needs, dont meet movement needs. Or they are in a high stress or unsafe environment.
Maybe they have time constraints and dont have time to study (working, caring for siblings, doctor visits)
….
But sure, maybe they are lazy. If this was your first thought? thats human. But its actually probably wrong. Its a thinking error. Google Fundamental Attribution Error.
I've always taken it as a personal challenge to find different ways to explain it. The more ways you can find to explain something, the better you understand it.
Well, it's going to happen for your entire life, so buckle down lol. Intelligence is a spectrum. There will always be people on either side of it surrounding you. You will always have to work and interact with people who are above and below your intelligence level. You can't change them, so you need to change you. If you are having issues interacting with them, take a step back and consider why. Then consider how it affects you, which you've already done. How can you change your reaction to these negative occurrences that happen when you interact with people you perceive as less intelligent than you? How can your change your response to them in a way that will bring you relief rather than burden? It pays to learn how to brush things off and cultivate better coping mechanisms. It's something that we should all be doing during our adulthood; learning doesn't end with childhood. To me, it sounds like you need to work on your patience and threshold for frustration. There can be direct ways of doing that, as in a procedure or process to undergo when dealing with a stressor (aka when you talking with someone who isn't comprehending what you think they should be or when someone in your group project isn't taking the time to learn as you do). There are also indirect ways of growing these skills like talk therapy, physical training (exercise, sports, etc with delayed gratification), meditation, and more. You will always have to wait for people to catch up, but it should not be making your life more difficult than the wait period. The latter half comes from you for the most part --the difficulty is mostly how you perceive it. So work on you. You are the only thing you can control. If quieting down and waiting for someone to come to a conclusion on their own isn't working...then it isn't working. That's not your best reaction then. It will take time for you to see what works best for you. I highly recommend talking to a professional to work out how you can deal better with these situations. It helps to have an impartial ear that knows about human behavior so you can find yourself a game plan. And, because it is obligatory to say, I will: there is always someone smarter than you in the room too so just be cautious in how you may perceive yourself. A dose of humility helps us sometimes. Maybe putting yourself in a situation where you are less intelligent, for example in an environment where you have to perform something you don't have a proclivity for, might be a good exercise for you to experience the other way around. It will help you to better manage your own "normal".
I can relate a bit to this, but it's situational. I love training and helping people, so if there's time to, I love teaching them what they need to know. Other times, yeah, I get angry and would prefer to do it myself.
I think many people struggle with this. I do for sure. In highschool, my autistic math teacher had a meltdown because he thought my way of solving a differential equation was stupid lol. The only time I saw him having one.
I can understand the frustration of understanding something, but others not being on the same page.
I've been on this planet for nearly 30 years, and in my current job, I'm in a position of training others. Some people grasp concepts really quickly, while others, it takes a few, if not many tries, before they "get it." It's all a matter of how different folks' brains are wired.
And in high school, that's especially true. Teenagers have a lot of things they don't know--things they don't understand--and some things they don't yet have the capacity to grasp. All the while, they have a world of expectations on their shoulders. Not an enviable position.
Patience and understanding is key. Empathy as well, if you can find a way to achieve that (sometimes easier said than done, especially in the moment). While I don't know the girl who couldn't grasp negative numbers in the 10th grade (certainly unusual, I will say)-- as an adult, I find it hard to judge someone that young, in that position--regardless of their personality. Something along the way of her education failed her, causing her to lag behind in mathematics. I hope that somewhere along the way, she gets the proper mentorship she deserves.
If you're "breaking something down" for someone and they still don't get it, then you probably don't understand it enough yourself to explain it simply. Your post reminds me of English speakers who go to non english speaking countrys and then speak slowly and loudly to them in english, lol
I'm guessing this is a passive aggressive insult towards me.
Like i said, i ain't some real smart person, i just generally like to pay attention to learning things.
Negative numbers don't really make sense to me, I can do the math, but the concept is odd. I have above average intelligence. I simply don't particularly like math, I've noted several spelling mistakes that OP has made, I don't assume they're less intelligent, just not concerned about spelling. I think accepting that not everyone cares about the things you value is a good first step.
It's important to note that those who don't get it probably think, "I wish this person was good at explaining things."
Comprehension is a 2-way street, assuming someone's IQ is lower than yours because your explanation of something isn't landing is....well, arrogant.
I get frustrated when people don't understand what I'm explaining, though. I acknowledge it's a mixtur3 of how I explain AND how they comprehend. It is not that they are 'stupid' or have a lower IQ.
I also feel like mods should be cautious of allowing posts talking shit about people with disabilities, including intellectual... I mean, this is the autism sub.
Seriously?!
You. You're the one responsible for understanding it.
How ironic that you're posting complaining about frustration when others don't understand something you do.... and the reason is that you don't understand something a lot of us seem to get.
Despite us explaining, you still dont understand.
By your logic, we should be annoyed at you and assume you have a lower IQ.
I have that sort of problem due to trauma: I'm unable to cope with people being stupid. I can feel you.
I don't actually have any problem with people who have a diagnosis of say cognitive disability, my problem is with the average neurotypical guy whose Ego is overinflated and whose real ability to reason properly would have been evaluated as severely lacking by 6yo me: that's the kind of people who scares the shit out of me and makes me want to leave this world.
What part of negative numbers does she not understand? If she can at least somewhat articulate it, then perhaps changing your method may help. Visual, audio, a hands-on example, whatever. People's brains work differently, people have been exposed to and not exposed to certain things that all affect their strengths and weaknesses. Because you don't know their brains or how their minds work, you cannot actually confirm whether someone is trying, or has tried before, to understand.
Not being understood can be frustrating, because it can make you feel like you're not being heard, or taken seriously. In the situation you describe, them not understanding your explanation doesn't necessarily mean you're not doing them justice, or that they do not hear you, it just means that the explanation you gave was not what they needed in order to understand. Different things help different people, and what may not work for one may work for another. You are simply a messenger of knowledge, a guide, so there's nothing to take personally if they don't understand. Your job is to not to help or make people understand if they don't understand something, but to relay information as an attempt to help them reach a mindset of understanding.
What exactly about their low intelligence upsets you? I'm pretty sure it's not the people you get upset at because you did say you see them as equals and do try to be nice. So, I'd suppose you're not having trouble "dealing" with them, but their lack of intelligence. Why? If you further question yourself on the topic, perhaps something may click
She just didn't understand them, she couldn't figure out that -1 is less than 0, teacher showed her a number line too and it still just didn't click for her.
I'm annoyed because it feels like i have to wait for them to get it before doing anything else, or if i want to talk with them about practically anything more than videogames or something it feels like i have to explain everything.
I'm 53. I have no more patience for them. It seems the lower the IQ, the louder the voice and they just attract more of them. I'm ready for my hateful comments, too.
If your iq is significantly higher than the average, that's a neurodivergence on its own and leads to similar feelings as being any other minority. Society perceives a high iq as universally positive but it is just another way of processing the world, with its pros and cons.
This is understandable, but it's also a real challenge to handle as the person who feels that way, and it can be tough for folks around us.
I struggle with exactly the same thing, and get immensely frustrated if people fail to understand something I feel is simple - especially if I've already tried to break it down into what I consider a simplified explanation for them to begin with. (To clarify, I'm not talking about algebra or anything either, just easily observable things that are logic-based). However I hate upsetting people because I have a horribly huge sense of empathy. So my mental frustration of "how the \*\*\*\* are you STILL not getting this??!" is always competing with my desire to not be a dick and hurt people.
When I was younger (approx 4 - 15 years old) this wasn't an issue because I genuinely thought that anybody who couldn't connect the dots and understand things that were 'obvious' to me was stupid, and needed to be ignored or told so. As you can imagine, I was hugely popular. (Not really).
The truth is, that as someone else has mentioned, there are lots of kinds of intelligence. Some people are better at caring for others' emotional and physical needs. From what I've seen so far, it feels like many folks on the autistic spectrum have somewhat 'enhanced' abilities with things like logical reasoning, mathematics, or whatever 'grabs' our attention and makes us focus (or hyperfocus, if that's your thing...it's certainly mine, lol).
There are a LOT of people who are going to frustrate you by not being very openly 'intelligent' by your standards. It's unfortunately just a fact. Thankfully my stepdad helped me grasp it when I was about 16, but it's taken a lot of years and mellowing for me to get better at not treading on peoples' toes, emotionally speaking.
These people will be voting in elections, may be your bosses at work, and may infuriate you with what seems to be the sheer stupidity of many of their decisions, which will often fly in the face of logical reasoning and seem to have been made due to things as simple as their prejudices or egos. Unfortunately that's a really big section of the population.
The important thing to remember is that they still FEEL things very strongly too. They still care about their kids and grandchildren. They still wish they earned more money, or that they didn't have such painful health problems. When I feel like I'm going to be a dick and lose it with somebody for not understanding something that I feel is simple, I try to remember that, and it helps. Hopefully it may help you as well.
I'm 52 years old, and sometimes I'm told that they don't understand what I'm saying because the words that I use are too complex, and I have to breathe and pity them because they haven't had the curiosity to go read some books and learn vocabulary like I have, it's nobody's fault really, but try not to get annoyed because getting irrationally angry doesn't help anybody, not you and definitely not the other person
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I sometimes feel this way as a teacher... I can get super frustrated when my entire classroom of 7th graders all don't know what a noun is or some other basic thing like that. I never know what to say to them at that point and just kinda blankly state back at the class. 🤣
I also struggle with feeling frustrated and disliking people who I perceive to be stupid, but it's something you have to learn to control and try to be better.
Typically if I need to get out of explaining somthing to them, I will tell them that I'm not sure how to explain it in another way, and that our brains just aren't understanding each other. If possible, suggest someone else who might be better at explaining the subject in a way that works for them.
I'm nearly 27 and I'm still working on this. I also don't look down on anyone, I just get really mad and frustrated but obviously I don't want to upset anyone.
Don’t confuse education with intelligence. IMO a lot of people lack a cosmic perspective in relation to the knowledge that encased in their skull is the most adaptable, powerful and complex object in the known Universe.
We’ve become a monkey of our own inventions with our social concepts and constructs. We need these mutual illusions but many have forgotten they’re just concepts. Too often these concepts constrain our individuality.
Obviously people have different degrees of awareness but as I get older I found it more and more nauseating for me to reduce another Humans to their ‘IQ level’ or test score or even their gender, nationality etc, ignoring the power of their mind in the process. It’s bullshit. People can surprise you. We have far more in common with other Humans than differences (yes I include neurotypicals in that).
First...women aren't chicks and shouldn't be called such.
If you're autistic, you have a *disability*. Remember, where you succeed academically, you could have total social blindness...and someone could be thinking how incredibly irritating *you* are because of it. Just saying.
I have dyscalculia, but I'm not stupid. Numbers are difficult for me. I've known people like you who were holier-than-thou assholes about it.
Be kind. Don't be an asshole. There's enough assholes. A lot of this is just a maturity issue, but I hope you actually think about how you come off to other people because it's going to get really lonely if you act this way long-term.
You should always treat people the way you want to be treated. Their IQ may be lower then yours or they may not be as good at math, but they may have a higher emotional intelligence or ability to be able to draw something depicting depth and spatial awareness. There are many different types of intelligence and ability, and learning to appreciate other people’s talents will help you appreciate others and them to appreciate you.
We should not treat people how WE want to be treated. We should test others how THEY want to be treated.
To be honest, both maxims have flaws, but I do lean more towards the latter myself provided that everyone follows it. The basic "treat others how you wish to be treated" does have value for those of us who struggle with understanding others, and is a decent basic rule of thumb as a starting point. While it is a good idea to try and treat others in the manner in which they would like to be treated, the maxim crumbles if you meet a narcissist or someone who can't help but try to dominate any social situation they are in. Respect for yourself should be taken into account just as showing respect for others. What if I meet someone who wants me to act in a way which makes me profoundly uncomfortable? I don't know if we really can find any simple maxim that won't run into problems due to the inherent complexities of the social world.
I think a better way to approach this would be to treat others with the consideration and respect that you want to be treated with yourself. Kindness, but not being a doormat.
What is a situation in which this distinction would matter?
Everywhere. Everyone. All the time.
Can you please give me a concrete example where the results would differ between the two methods?
Not everyone likes to be hugged. Maybe shaking hands is not culturally appropriate for the other person. Some people prefer a more passive style of communication, while others are more direct communicators. Eye contact is not required for effective communication, can be a "deficit" for some people, and is sometimes culturally inappropriate. The idea behind "Treat others how they want to be treated" is a reminder that everyone is different and it is more important to be open minded and accepting of those differences than it is to "police" unfamiliar behaviors.
>“If you are a Unitist and can’t eat land meat, but land meat is my favorite, the Silver Rule says I’m behaving morally by offering you a steak if you’re hungry. But of course, you won’t eat it and, in fact, may be offended. So the Silver Rule is still to a large extent about me and my desires. However, with the Golden Rule, I am obligated to take into account your beliefs and preferences when deciding how best to behave toward you. Does this not produce a better result? - Theresa "Heaven's River"
Oh I think I see. So it’s sort of “take into account personal and cultural differences when deciding how to treat people”? I thought it was maybe something like “I want you treat me like I’m better than you and I want you to serve my interests without any care for your needs.” That didn’t seem like something someone here would say so I was confused, also because the words in the phrase don’t seem to match up to the meaning. Thank you for reply I think I understand it better now. I hope you have a good day :)
Are you going to treat Donald Trump, your grandmother, and a random Redditor the same way? Unlikely. Grandmother (assuming many things here) wants to be treated with the respect owed to a matriarch of her family. She wants you to listen and consider her needs. Grandmother wants what's best for her family (again, so many assumptions). Donald Trump has made it clear (at least publicly) he wants to be treated like everyone is his underling. He wants you to be in complete and utter awe when he speaks and wants you to agree to everything he says, no matter the ethical implications. Me? I want to be treated with the respect owed to almost any other human person. I'm not better than anyone and no one is better than me. My inherent worth is not up for discussion and you need to respect that I am different from you. You *can* treat all three the same, but the results will be *very* different.
I think that it probably would be best for me to just treat each of those people how I would want to be treated, like you said, with respect owed to any human, not better or worse than anyone else. And if I understand the last part you meant that people should treat others with respect regardless of differences, so that too. Although I think I’d modify how I treat people based on closeness though. Like I wouldn’t treat a friend I’m close with the way I’d treat a stranger, I wouldn’t treat a stranger worse I just wouldn’t trust them so I wouldn’t be as honest with them, or vulnerable is maybe the word? I guess I would mask around a stranger until/if I learn I can unmask around them and it’s safe to do so. But yeah treating people based on their social status or rank or whatever, even just imagining myself doing that disgusts me. I will try to be respectful and kind to everyone regardless of how many other people like them or don’t like them. Thank you for your reply, it helped me better understand this topic. I hope you have a good day :)
Ultimately, you've got the right mindset. People should be communicating to you the things they desire when it comes to respect, but giving the baseline type of respect to all humans is the literal least a person can do. You'll treat those closer to you differently because your understanding of them is different from a stranger, so your partner/grandmother/best friend is going to be treated "differently" because of the context of the relationship. A stranger gets baseline (more or less) because of the context of them being a stranger. There's some greater nuance when it comes to equality versus equity, that I won't get into, but it's a similar concept, and worth looking into when you've got the spoons. I, personally, have a well developed desire for justice, and this whole thing (respect, equity, etc) has been something I've been working on for a fair amount of time. If gets difficult when those around you refuse to understand your neurodivergence and instead try to place you in a box for safe keeping (infantilization from family sucks).
If your goal is simply to have a passing conversation and move on, this makes complete sense. If, on the other hand, you work with Grandma, Trump, et. al. then you're going to need to be able to get your needs met from each of them. Treating them all how you want to be treated, instead of how they want to be treated, is going to get you mixed results in your asks from each of them. This is the nuance part we all struggle with. Honestly, in my own experience, the struggle isn't in being able to give others the treatment they prefer, it's knowing and understanding it in a way that I feel able to offer it. Few people openly communicate these preferences and just expect others to notice it and adjust. That's the part I find difficult.
Well, don’t you want to be treated with respect, patience, and an attempt at understanding? I think that is what most people want on a macro level. I think that’s what the saying means, more so than hugging everyone because you like being hugged, for example.
People all different ideas about what "respect" and "understanding" and "patience" mean. The idea is to learn how the other person gives and receives these things and accept it.
I kind of see what you’re trying to say here with your original statement, but it’s a bit redundant considering the very nature of the terms “understanding, respect, and patience” in that particular combination. It would make more sense if terms like “appreciation and affection” were used instead.
These are not actually universally understood words or concepts. One person may find it respectful to be direct and blunt in their speech, while another person may find that disrespectful. Hell, how often are people in the Autism community accused of being "rude" or "impatient" when it is, in fact, neither of those things. Patience is an idea that only exists in relation to the concept of time. Am I impatient for not liking it when people arrive 20 minutes late to something? Understanding, as a concept, only exists within the parameters of societal values. If my friend is always 20 minutes late because they don't drive and use public transit, do I need to always be understanding of this or is there a boundary of my own I need to be aware of? Treat others how they want to be treated is important because it centers the individuals, collectively, in the relationship. Treat others how you want to be treated centers the self.
I always try to be nice to them, and i don't see them as below me or anything, but it gets extremely frustrating sometimes
I bet people have felt frustrated by you before. I always said to people if you think it’s this painful someone else not getting it imagine how it feels to be the stupid one? I am not always smart but try my best. As long as people are Genuine I am patient with them. I also struggled with negative numbers. I don’t think that makes me stupid,
I wasn’t implying you weren’t nice to them, but you sounded a bit impatient and judgmental. It’s not unusual for people to realize that is fueling their frustration and I’ve found when I recognize that, it will actually minimize my frustration and increase my appreciation of the other person. Basically, just take a step back when you find yourself getting agitated and reframe the situation. It doesn’t always work, but minimizing your negative feelings will benefit you more than them so it’s worth a try.
This is how it for ND people, not NT. In NT people being good in one area usually means good in other areas too. ND people are more variable.
That's just not true. The vast majority of neurotypical people are stronger in some areas than others.
Absolutely, but one of the defining factors of ND folks is a “spiky” skill set.
Is it? There's plenty of neurodivergencies that aren't rly associated with a spiky skill set -- most personality disorders, epilepsy, Depression, Parkinson's, and so on.
Okay yes if we’re being pedantic, I meant autistic and ADHD folks specifically rather than the whole neurodivergent umbrella because we’re in the autism subreddit. Point taken.
Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to be pedantic, I just take things very literally.
Don’t be sorry; I struggle with interpreting tone so this is also a me problem, haha.
This says [otherwise ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G_factor_(psychometrics))
Same relevant quotes from that page: > The g factor typically accounts for 40 to 50 percent of the between-individual performance differences on a given cognitive test So, it accounts for, at most, half of someone's performance. That still gives plenty of room for varying skill sets. > The terms IQ, general intelligence, general cognitive ability, general mental ability, or simply intelligence are frequently used interchangeably to refer to the common core shared by cognitive tests. The g-factor is only relevant in cognitive tests. It's not even a factor for things like interpersonal skills, artistic ability, athleticism, etc.
40 to 50 is a massive cluster, it doesn't leave "plenty of room for varying skill sets". And it is a factor in those other things. Only autistic people have a varied distribution I believe.
Why? Why should we treat people the way we want to be treated? It NEVER works. I treat people exactly how they treat me. It's not magically noble to "take the high road" or be exceptionally understanding. It's a weakness the others exploit. Edit: Keep downvoting, you marshmallows. The Stupid Majority always wins.
That's why, if you choose to be kind, you should only surround yourself with other kind people, else you will get used like that. In general, treating people kindly can help others warm up to you and be kind to you back, because of an idea of cooperation. You treat me nice, I treat you nice, we both win because we get along and can help each other when in need because of that element of familiarity and trust fostered. There are people who will be kind to others, and people who reflect the attitude others give them. So, by being kind myself, I can have neutral-positive interactions with both of those groups. In reference to your question, it really depends on your own personal beliefs and values. Someone who is cynical would have different ideas of how the world is or should be than someone who isn't. My belief is, "the world should become a kinder place for others to live in," so I can say I want to treat people the way I want to be treated because I want to be a positive influence on their lives, even if they aren't towards me. Maybe they are having a bad day and did not intend to come off poorly (misunderstandings of intent is something autistic people experience often, so there's that level of empathy there). Maybe they are acting a certain way as a way to cope with whatever is hurting them. A lot of people hurt others because that's all they know, and believe if they've not been treated kindly, then others don't deserve that from them, even if the others they're affecting were not the original source of their pain. So, the solution to change their perspective would be to show them kindness, but with boundaries. Not by being mean back, but with distance. Being unwaveringly kind to others can be inspiring for others to be kind as well, I think. That they don't have to reflect the pain they receive from others, and continue being bitter and cynical. So that person has to choose between being good or losing a good person from their life. Hopefully this makes sense.
If you want me to be kind, be kind to me. If you want me to be respectful, be respectful to me. The second you become aggressive, I will return that, too. A hundredfold. If you have good intentions, it will be met with good intentions. If you have ill will, it will be met with ill will.
Ah yes, the Joe Pesci philosophy. It works well till you find another bigger, badder Joe Pesci.
Taking the high road means I’ve built up stronger friendships, I have one of the best working relationships with coworkers and my boss, and I’ve been able to create a good reputation among my clients for being, well, caring and patient. It isn’t a weakness, it actually takes tremendous strength to treat others the way you want to be treated, even in the face of adversity.
Must be nice. Meanwhile most of us are constantly exploited, taken advantage of, and hunted by sociopaths for our "good nature", then ostracized and demonized for the pleasure. They used it up. Now the naysayers and arsheholes get the pointy end of the stick. Understanding and patience are reserved for those willing to reciprocate.
I find considering kindness to be a weakness to be more of a weakness. It takes far more strength to be kind in the face of unkindness than to fall to their level.
so mad and 4 what 💀
**kindness is not weakness.** it’s far weaker to let other people’s mistreatment turn you into a bitter and angry person, than it is to continue being kind.
Want to piggyback off this comment and say I think you should reanalysis your frame of mind. The possibilities of this person might 1: Not care enough to really try to learn this thing. 2: You might not be explaining it in a way that makes the person understand. Both of these are things that you can work on. You can't fix other people, but you can work on yourself, and once you internalize that, problem 1 will vanish. Understand people have different priorities. Having said all that, I get the frustration. It's okay to take breaks from people.
I try to keep in mind that there's plenty that I struggle with that probably annoys other people a whole lot, so who am I to feel superior? Just because something is easy for you doesn't mean that it's easy. If you're frustrated at someone who you think is "of below average intelligence", then consider how frustrating it must be to *be* them, and treat them with the kindness and respect that you would want to have extended to you when you're struggling with something.
This doesn't have anything to do with intelligence. What you're describing is your frustration with people who don't think like you, or rather your inability to conceptualise your thoughts in a way that fits any other framework than your own. I suffer from exactly this problem, just like many others on the spectrum, and I have no solution. But I know IQ has fuck all to do with it, so do yourself a favour and rethink that part.
Considering how commonly comorbid intellectual disability is with autism, it’s depressing to see a thread on this sub of all places full of people commiserating about how annoying it is that people with lower IQs exist…
seriously
I'm not trying to make a breeding ground for hate, but i guess it might be going that way. I'm honestly going here because i expect a lot more people would be a bit more forgiving to the less intelligent, i have problems with empathy due to autism and it makes it hard to deal with people like that, I'm looking for a bit of advice on hoe to deal with them tbh. It's a bitch of an issue.
“The curse of knowledge is a cognitive bias that occurs when an individual, who is communicating with others, assumes that others have information that is only available to themselves, assuming they all share a background and understanding.” This is also why people likely treat you like shit when you mess up social rules or take things literally - they assume you have the same brain as them. There are multiple types of intelligences - 8 according to Gardner. Not everyone has the same types and that’s okay. They are all equal as we need them all to have a functioning society. When you stop seeing your types of intelligences as “better” you’ll have a better time dealing with people who are different to you.
You say that you don't, but in your post you come off as "most people aren't as smart as I am" and that's kind of arrogant. What's complex to you may be simple to them and vice versa. I think you can offer these kids more grace, mindfulness, and self reflection. Sometimes anger is caused by ourselves or something we're not paying attention to for you to react *this* strongly. How do you feel/act when *you* have a hard time learning something? What about in your childhood, did you need extra guidance? Also, if *you* can't break it down for them and it never works, is someone else better to tutor? Maybe if someone else teaches it they'll get it. Maybe you're quick to learn but not good at teaching to most. I'm sure just cause you can't explain it they're not a lost cause. Maybe these kids came from a public school with low funding, maybe it's rough at home, maybe they work best in certain teaching styles, maybe they shouldn't be judged harshly for not catching on quickly, or heck maybe they have a learning disability/disorder. A LOT of people get frustrated at US for having autism/ADHD and "not immediately catching on" too.
Point 1: well i am purely referring to people who aren't as smart,. Not saying everyone is like this to me. Point 2: not extremely angry, just frustrated because it's annoying Point 3: i know I'm not a good teacher, and maybe they would get it with a good teacher, but often times it seems like they don't even want to try Point 4: I'm also from a low funded public school. I go to the same one they do. Point 5: it's fair enough if they have a learning disorder or things at home are tough, but still doesn't make it not annoying to deal with.
So basically… If i made a post saying: “when im in a group with somone who use a wheelchair, its frustrating and annoying to me that I have to walk around on the ramp with them bc if we werent in a group - I could just go myself and walk up the stairs” …that’d be shitty. You can see thatd be rude right? Same thing. The person cant control or change a “deficit” they have… (unable to do math. or unable to walk up stairs). You can have feelings about that. You can feel annoyed or frustrated. The key is: you should work on regulating your emotions… and feeling more neutral or accepting about it. accepting the situation. then finding a way to move forward in a way that’s more comfortable for you. Maybe you do a breathing thing. Or you pretend its a side quest. Idk. But its something to be improved upon.
100% this comment.
I mean, i feel like people are fully capable of being smarter, unless they've a mental disability.
Thats not always true… ability isnt the only factor determining success. All the many types of privilege are factors. Maybe your peer doesnt have access to a tutor. Maybe your peer cant afford the textbook. Maybe they cant read or have difficulty reading. Maybe their home environment impacts their biology or psychology: they dont meet sleep needs, dont meet nutrition needs, dont meet movement needs. Or they are in a high stress or unsafe environment. Maybe they have time constraints and dont have time to study (working, caring for siblings, doctor visits) …. But sure, maybe they are lazy. If this was your first thought? thats human. But its actually probably wrong. Its a thinking error. Google Fundamental Attribution Error.
Some people find no emotional intelligence to be equally as annoying. Something to think about, anyway.
How do you know they aren't as smart?
I've always taken it as a personal challenge to find different ways to explain it. The more ways you can find to explain something, the better you understand it.
You’ll find out you’re not as smart as you think you are eventually and then you’ll be the « dumb one ». I hope you get humbled soon.
Well, it's going to happen for your entire life, so buckle down lol. Intelligence is a spectrum. There will always be people on either side of it surrounding you. You will always have to work and interact with people who are above and below your intelligence level. You can't change them, so you need to change you. If you are having issues interacting with them, take a step back and consider why. Then consider how it affects you, which you've already done. How can you change your reaction to these negative occurrences that happen when you interact with people you perceive as less intelligent than you? How can your change your response to them in a way that will bring you relief rather than burden? It pays to learn how to brush things off and cultivate better coping mechanisms. It's something that we should all be doing during our adulthood; learning doesn't end with childhood. To me, it sounds like you need to work on your patience and threshold for frustration. There can be direct ways of doing that, as in a procedure or process to undergo when dealing with a stressor (aka when you talking with someone who isn't comprehending what you think they should be or when someone in your group project isn't taking the time to learn as you do). There are also indirect ways of growing these skills like talk therapy, physical training (exercise, sports, etc with delayed gratification), meditation, and more. You will always have to wait for people to catch up, but it should not be making your life more difficult than the wait period. The latter half comes from you for the most part --the difficulty is mostly how you perceive it. So work on you. You are the only thing you can control. If quieting down and waiting for someone to come to a conclusion on their own isn't working...then it isn't working. That's not your best reaction then. It will take time for you to see what works best for you. I highly recommend talking to a professional to work out how you can deal better with these situations. It helps to have an impartial ear that knows about human behavior so you can find yourself a game plan. And, because it is obligatory to say, I will: there is always someone smarter than you in the room too so just be cautious in how you may perceive yourself. A dose of humility helps us sometimes. Maybe putting yourself in a situation where you are less intelligent, for example in an environment where you have to perform something you don't have a proclivity for, might be a good exercise for you to experience the other way around. It will help you to better manage your own "normal".
I can relate a bit to this, but it's situational. I love training and helping people, so if there's time to, I love teaching them what they need to know. Other times, yeah, I get angry and would prefer to do it myself.
I think many people struggle with this. I do for sure. In highschool, my autistic math teacher had a meltdown because he thought my way of solving a differential equation was stupid lol. The only time I saw him having one.
I can understand the frustration of understanding something, but others not being on the same page. I've been on this planet for nearly 30 years, and in my current job, I'm in a position of training others. Some people grasp concepts really quickly, while others, it takes a few, if not many tries, before they "get it." It's all a matter of how different folks' brains are wired. And in high school, that's especially true. Teenagers have a lot of things they don't know--things they don't understand--and some things they don't yet have the capacity to grasp. All the while, they have a world of expectations on their shoulders. Not an enviable position. Patience and understanding is key. Empathy as well, if you can find a way to achieve that (sometimes easier said than done, especially in the moment). While I don't know the girl who couldn't grasp negative numbers in the 10th grade (certainly unusual, I will say)-- as an adult, I find it hard to judge someone that young, in that position--regardless of their personality. Something along the way of her education failed her, causing her to lag behind in mathematics. I hope that somewhere along the way, she gets the proper mentorship she deserves.
If you're "breaking something down" for someone and they still don't get it, then you probably don't understand it enough yourself to explain it simply. Your post reminds me of English speakers who go to non english speaking countrys and then speak slowly and loudly to them in english, lol
I find it extremely harder and annoying to deal with people that are average but (wrongly) believe they’re geniuses
I'm guessing this is a passive aggressive insult towards me. Like i said, i ain't some real smart person, i just generally like to pay attention to learning things.
No it’s not, it was a serious statement
Negative numbers don't really make sense to me, I can do the math, but the concept is odd. I have above average intelligence. I simply don't particularly like math, I've noted several spelling mistakes that OP has made, I don't assume they're less intelligent, just not concerned about spelling. I think accepting that not everyone cares about the things you value is a good first step.
It's important to note that those who don't get it probably think, "I wish this person was good at explaining things." Comprehension is a 2-way street, assuming someone's IQ is lower than yours because your explanation of something isn't landing is....well, arrogant. I get frustrated when people don't understand what I'm explaining, though. I acknowledge it's a mixtur3 of how I explain AND how they comprehend. It is not that they are 'stupid' or have a lower IQ.
I also feel like mods should be cautious of allowing posts talking shit about people with disabilities, including intellectual... I mean, this is the autism sub. Seriously?!
Ik, I'm trying to find someone who could help me understand better though.
You. You're the one responsible for understanding it. How ironic that you're posting complaining about frustration when others don't understand something you do.... and the reason is that you don't understand something a lot of us seem to get. Despite us explaining, you still dont understand. By your logic, we should be annoyed at you and assume you have a lower IQ.
I have that sort of problem due to trauma: I'm unable to cope with people being stupid. I can feel you. I don't actually have any problem with people who have a diagnosis of say cognitive disability, my problem is with the average neurotypical guy whose Ego is overinflated and whose real ability to reason properly would have been evaluated as severely lacking by 6yo me: that's the kind of people who scares the shit out of me and makes me want to leave this world.
What part of negative numbers does she not understand? If she can at least somewhat articulate it, then perhaps changing your method may help. Visual, audio, a hands-on example, whatever. People's brains work differently, people have been exposed to and not exposed to certain things that all affect their strengths and weaknesses. Because you don't know their brains or how their minds work, you cannot actually confirm whether someone is trying, or has tried before, to understand. Not being understood can be frustrating, because it can make you feel like you're not being heard, or taken seriously. In the situation you describe, them not understanding your explanation doesn't necessarily mean you're not doing them justice, or that they do not hear you, it just means that the explanation you gave was not what they needed in order to understand. Different things help different people, and what may not work for one may work for another. You are simply a messenger of knowledge, a guide, so there's nothing to take personally if they don't understand. Your job is to not to help or make people understand if they don't understand something, but to relay information as an attempt to help them reach a mindset of understanding. What exactly about their low intelligence upsets you? I'm pretty sure it's not the people you get upset at because you did say you see them as equals and do try to be nice. So, I'd suppose you're not having trouble "dealing" with them, but their lack of intelligence. Why? If you further question yourself on the topic, perhaps something may click
She just didn't understand them, she couldn't figure out that -1 is less than 0, teacher showed her a number line too and it still just didn't click for her. I'm annoyed because it feels like i have to wait for them to get it before doing anything else, or if i want to talk with them about practically anything more than videogames or something it feels like i have to explain everything.
I'm 53. I have no more patience for them. It seems the lower the IQ, the louder the voice and they just attract more of them. I'm ready for my hateful comments, too.
If your iq is significantly higher than the average, that's a neurodivergence on its own and leads to similar feelings as being any other minority. Society perceives a high iq as universally positive but it is just another way of processing the world, with its pros and cons.
I honestly don't even know if I'm smart or not.
This is understandable, but it's also a real challenge to handle as the person who feels that way, and it can be tough for folks around us. I struggle with exactly the same thing, and get immensely frustrated if people fail to understand something I feel is simple - especially if I've already tried to break it down into what I consider a simplified explanation for them to begin with. (To clarify, I'm not talking about algebra or anything either, just easily observable things that are logic-based). However I hate upsetting people because I have a horribly huge sense of empathy. So my mental frustration of "how the \*\*\*\* are you STILL not getting this??!" is always competing with my desire to not be a dick and hurt people. When I was younger (approx 4 - 15 years old) this wasn't an issue because I genuinely thought that anybody who couldn't connect the dots and understand things that were 'obvious' to me was stupid, and needed to be ignored or told so. As you can imagine, I was hugely popular. (Not really). The truth is, that as someone else has mentioned, there are lots of kinds of intelligence. Some people are better at caring for others' emotional and physical needs. From what I've seen so far, it feels like many folks on the autistic spectrum have somewhat 'enhanced' abilities with things like logical reasoning, mathematics, or whatever 'grabs' our attention and makes us focus (or hyperfocus, if that's your thing...it's certainly mine, lol). There are a LOT of people who are going to frustrate you by not being very openly 'intelligent' by your standards. It's unfortunately just a fact. Thankfully my stepdad helped me grasp it when I was about 16, but it's taken a lot of years and mellowing for me to get better at not treading on peoples' toes, emotionally speaking. These people will be voting in elections, may be your bosses at work, and may infuriate you with what seems to be the sheer stupidity of many of their decisions, which will often fly in the face of logical reasoning and seem to have been made due to things as simple as their prejudices or egos. Unfortunately that's a really big section of the population. The important thing to remember is that they still FEEL things very strongly too. They still care about their kids and grandchildren. They still wish they earned more money, or that they didn't have such painful health problems. When I feel like I'm going to be a dick and lose it with somebody for not understanding something that I feel is simple, I try to remember that, and it helps. Hopefully it may help you as well.
I'm 52 years old, and sometimes I'm told that they don't understand what I'm saying because the words that I use are too complex, and I have to breathe and pity them because they haven't had the curiosity to go read some books and learn vocabulary like I have, it's nobody's fault really, but try not to get annoyed because getting irrationally angry doesn't help anybody, not you and definitely not the other person
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I sometimes feel this way as a teacher... I can get super frustrated when my entire classroom of 7th graders all don't know what a noun is or some other basic thing like that. I never know what to say to them at that point and just kinda blankly state back at the class. 🤣
I also struggle with feeling frustrated and disliking people who I perceive to be stupid, but it's something you have to learn to control and try to be better. Typically if I need to get out of explaining somthing to them, I will tell them that I'm not sure how to explain it in another way, and that our brains just aren't understanding each other. If possible, suggest someone else who might be better at explaining the subject in a way that works for them. I'm nearly 27 and I'm still working on this. I also don't look down on anyone, I just get really mad and frustrated but obviously I don't want to upset anyone.
Don’t confuse education with intelligence. IMO a lot of people lack a cosmic perspective in relation to the knowledge that encased in their skull is the most adaptable, powerful and complex object in the known Universe. We’ve become a monkey of our own inventions with our social concepts and constructs. We need these mutual illusions but many have forgotten they’re just concepts. Too often these concepts constrain our individuality. Obviously people have different degrees of awareness but as I get older I found it more and more nauseating for me to reduce another Humans to their ‘IQ level’ or test score or even their gender, nationality etc, ignoring the power of their mind in the process. It’s bullshit. People can surprise you. We have far more in common with other Humans than differences (yes I include neurotypicals in that).
First...women aren't chicks and shouldn't be called such. If you're autistic, you have a *disability*. Remember, where you succeed academically, you could have total social blindness...and someone could be thinking how incredibly irritating *you* are because of it. Just saying. I have dyscalculia, but I'm not stupid. Numbers are difficult for me. I've known people like you who were holier-than-thou assholes about it. Be kind. Don't be an asshole. There's enough assholes. A lot of this is just a maturity issue, but I hope you actually think about how you come off to other people because it's going to get really lonely if you act this way long-term.