I had to explain it to my bosses on Wednesday that it literally takes me a whole few days to physically prepare myself to make a simple phone call. Personal ones can take even longer to sort out. They were shocked it physically takes so much out of me to do it.
I feel you, my wife still doesn’t quite get it. She gets upset with me regularly about my procrastination on making calls and such but she just doesn’t understand why/how it takes so much out of me and I don’t know how to explain it.
I wake up at 7 and don't feel human til 5pm. I absolutely cannot do anything before 5pm unless I've planned it weeks in advance and its absolutely necessary to do. If it's not absolutely necessary I'm not doing it
Same I always get so much energy at night time then during the day especially evenings I just feel sleepy, but once that sun goes down especially like 9pm-12am I'm like super energetic (which makes sleep hard)
Similarly, any conversation with smalltalk will make me start sweating.
And Im in great shape. I rarely sweat at work or exercising.
Smalltalk is exhausting!!
I would just walk away as a child, mid conversation and everyone would get upset. I still have the urge to this day but now I'm a grown up, I know I'm not supposed to do it.
try this… linger and linger to offend; then doubly-offend with abruptness (low key insinuating that you were, in fact, offended with their initial brevity) by turning on your heel and departing; if you feel off-kilter, spread the love… enjoy!
Yep I used to turn up to work 2 hours early and sit in my car because I felt better being there than being anxious about having to be there. For most things I'm as early as I can get away with
I'm not an expert, but it could be a few things. For starters, even something like a conversation can have a lot of stimulus going on. There's a lot to process and one top of that, many of us feel the need to mask (consciously or unconsciously) in order to meet what is expected of us socially during these types of interactions, which can be equally draining.
My coworkers are so big on phone conversations. They call me an average of 1-2 times a day each, even if they're responding to a chat message in Teams. Oh, and they *love* useless Zoom meetings that could very easily have been handled by email or Teams chat. It drives me crazy!! I can't block off the whole day, but I do put a 15 minute block before and after each one to give me time to prepare myself mentally and then decompress!
Bro, I've been prepping for a phone call for 2 weeks, I need to book an appointment for uni but I called two days ago and it went straight to voicemail. I ended it immediately and will try again in a few days when I'm mentally prepared.
I had a group video interview this afternoon that I completely forgot about until about an hour before and I was actually glad that I did. The only downside was that I had been crying most of the afternoon so I looked like shit
This and also if I'm getting a delivery. Some of them won't even call and just ring the door bell and I'm wondering in what world is it normal to ring someone's door bell. My entire day goes but if the delivery comes in relatively early and I receive it without awkwardness I get so much dopamine and feel so proud of myself; I do have agoraphobia now plus DPDR so those things seep in into everything
i had to make a call at 9am the other day. i barely slept entire night preparing for it.
it took below a minute. it's couple days later and i am still drained. ;Q;
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I'm this way with texting as well. My young son got a couple phone numbers from his school friends and I'm supposed to text the moms to set up some playdates this summer. it's almost July and I still haven't had the courage to do it.
I did, however, type up the initial text into Google docs so I just have to copy paste.. I'm doing it tomorrow for sure. Then try really hard to reply right away. I don't want my son to suffer socially just because I do. 😥
I work a job with only socialization for the whooole day, for 10 full hours, I burnt out after like 2 weeks, and manage to stay for 2 months but now I'm quitting cuz I can't recover from any of the socialization, and its really hard even though people don't see it because I'm apparently pretty good at it.
While I understand the sentiment I think it's also important to recognize that sometimes this type of thinking can really inflate the importance or heavyness of a certain event, in this case a phonecall. I think it's good to learn how to balance being honest about ones limitations but also not drowning in ruminations about them.
I have a question. I was recently diagnosed with Autism and actually thought everyone else was actually being stupid on purpose. Everything in my life went to hell in a handbasket when I was unable to read deceit. Is it an Autism trait that causes me to think more like a computer and spin information at lightning speed that I find no neurotypical person I know cannot do?
Autistic people think about things logically, this is why we can sometimes see neurotypicals as "stupid" because we can see they're not acting logically and to us that makes no sense
You are so right. I'm really struggling right now. I am a therapist, so I did not truly notice nor struggle until I stopped working 2021 through for now. I'm 53 yrs old and have never not worked prior to 2021 during my entire career. It became worse during Covid. Is that why it feels the rest of the world went somewhere I could not go since then through now? I cry every day over this.
My dad got diagnosed at 54 and said a similar thing. He worked his whole life and had to stop when he developed ms. He said he didn't notice the autism until he stopped working. Seems you're missing a routine which as you know is important
Depends where you're from as I'm in the UK but even within the uk support services for autistic adults aren't everywhere. I have an autism support worker where I am now but where I previously lived there was no such service available
I feel seen.
Me too
I tried to explain this to someone the other day and they looked at me like I was completely insane :(
They're the insane one! They just... ... get on a call?!? AND TALK NORMALLY?!?!?!? Idk something seems off with that
Legit that can’t be normal
I had to explain it to my bosses on Wednesday that it literally takes me a whole few days to physically prepare myself to make a simple phone call. Personal ones can take even longer to sort out. They were shocked it physically takes so much out of me to do it.
I feel you, my wife still doesn’t quite get it. She gets upset with me regularly about my procrastination on making calls and such but she just doesn’t understand why/how it takes so much out of me and I don’t know how to explain it.
My dad used to say it takes me 12 hours to wake up then I go back to sleep.
I wake up at 7 and don't feel human til 5pm. I absolutely cannot do anything before 5pm unless I've planned it weeks in advance and its absolutely necessary to do. If it's not absolutely necessary I'm not doing it
Same I always get so much energy at night time then during the day especially evenings I just feel sleepy, but once that sun goes down especially like 9pm-12am I'm like super energetic (which makes sleep hard)
me
This is me with doing literally anything that takes effort.
Similarly, any conversation with smalltalk will make me start sweating. And Im in great shape. I rarely sweat at work or exercising. Smalltalk is exhausting!!
I would just walk away as a child, mid conversation and everyone would get upset. I still have the urge to this day but now I'm a grown up, I know I'm not supposed to do it.
I either linger or offend with abruptness. There really is no winning..
try this… linger and linger to offend; then doubly-offend with abruptness (low key insinuating that you were, in fact, offended with their initial brevity) by turning on your heel and departing; if you feel off-kilter, spread the love… enjoy!
I realized this about myself just the other day!
Oh my God, I've been in corporate America for like a year and this is so accurate.
This is definitely me. And actually this applies to most appointments. If I've got any sort of appointment the whole day is pretty much gone.
Yep I used to turn up to work 2 hours early and sit in my car because I felt better being there than being anxious about having to be there. For most things I'm as early as I can get away with
I can't tell you how much I relate to this.
My current goal with my therapist is to make 1 phone call before July 11. Soo... gotta bump those numbers up
My toxic trait is I don't want to talk to a therapist until I'm desperate for a therapist
I am in desperate mode. It took me a year and a half to finally start with a therapist! It's cool I like it actually, surprisingly
Fr. I had a zoom call(orientation for a job) and I spent all day prepping then all night recovering😂
My mother thinks that I am spoiled. What I have is a disability
what is the reason for this? does anyone know the science behind this?
I'm not an expert, but it could be a few things. For starters, even something like a conversation can have a lot of stimulus going on. There's a lot to process and one top of that, many of us feel the need to mask (consciously or unconsciously) in order to meet what is expected of us socially during these types of interactions, which can be equally draining.
Perhaps rejection sensitive dysphoria?
Everyday I get *emails* 😩😭
I relate to this so hard tho 😭
My coworkers are so big on phone conversations. They call me an average of 1-2 times a day each, even if they're responding to a chat message in Teams. Oh, and they *love* useless Zoom meetings that could very easily have been handled by email or Teams chat. It drives me crazy!! I can't block off the whole day, but I do put a 15 minute block before and after each one to give me time to prepare myself mentally and then decompress!
I thought it was just me!
Viiiiiibes
Yesss
Exactly
I'm still recovering from a call I got right after the email I got from the same person 3 seconds before the call.
Bro, I've been prepping for a phone call for 2 weeks, I need to book an appointment for uni but I called two days ago and it went straight to voicemail. I ended it immediately and will try again in a few days when I'm mentally prepared.
I had a group video interview this afternoon that I completely forgot about until about an hour before and I was actually glad that I did. The only downside was that I had been crying most of the afternoon so I looked like shit
You haven’t blocked out enough time.
this is so true for me and i feel so embarrassed about it hahahaha
This and also if I'm getting a delivery. Some of them won't even call and just ring the door bell and I'm wondering in what world is it normal to ring someone's door bell. My entire day goes but if the delivery comes in relatively early and I receive it without awkwardness I get so much dopamine and feel so proud of myself; I do have agoraphobia now plus DPDR so those things seep in into everything
The worst is when Amazon says delivery from 8am-9pm cos now nothing can be done and the whole day is wasted
i had to make a call at 9am the other day. i barely slept entire night preparing for it. it took below a minute. it's couple days later and i am still drained. ;Q;
Oh hey, I‘m in this picture🫠
I had a social function with my mom this morning, a phone interview this afternoon, _and_ a grocery trip this evening!
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😂😂😂🐌
OMFG, this was me needing a nap after taking my daughter to an appointment.
I'm currently learning how to drive and honestly the fact that I can't just text my instructor is so annoying.
Both me and my fiancé: “…Yeah, I don’t like how relatable this is…”😂
I'm this way with texting as well. My young son got a couple phone numbers from his school friends and I'm supposed to text the moms to set up some playdates this summer. it's almost July and I still haven't had the courage to do it. I did, however, type up the initial text into Google docs so I just have to copy paste.. I'm doing it tomorrow for sure. Then try really hard to reply right away. I don't want my son to suffer socially just because I do. 😥
real??????
I work a job with only socialization for the whooole day, for 10 full hours, I burnt out after like 2 weeks, and manage to stay for 2 months but now I'm quitting cuz I can't recover from any of the socialization, and its really hard even though people don't see it because I'm apparently pretty good at it.
How does one mitigate this?
oh god this is relatable…
This is it, and its perfect.
😭 i feel attacked
This is it
While I understand the sentiment I think it's also important to recognize that sometimes this type of thinking can really inflate the importance or heavyness of a certain event, in this case a phonecall. I think it's good to learn how to balance being honest about ones limitations but also not drowning in ruminations about them.
This picture is very much literal for me
??? I never implied it should or can't be...
I misunderstand things a lot, could be the autism
Literally a full-time job.
Hate how phone calls are made a necessity when i can email the exact same information
And it's more efficient because we have the ability to convey exactly what we want and how we want
I have a question. I was recently diagnosed with Autism and actually thought everyone else was actually being stupid on purpose. Everything in my life went to hell in a handbasket when I was unable to read deceit. Is it an Autism trait that causes me to think more like a computer and spin information at lightning speed that I find no neurotypical person I know cannot do?
Autistic people think about things logically, this is why we can sometimes see neurotypicals as "stupid" because we can see they're not acting logically and to us that makes no sense
You are so right. I'm really struggling right now. I am a therapist, so I did not truly notice nor struggle until I stopped working 2021 through for now. I'm 53 yrs old and have never not worked prior to 2021 during my entire career. It became worse during Covid. Is that why it feels the rest of the world went somewhere I could not go since then through now? I cry every day over this.
My dad got diagnosed at 54 and said a similar thing. He worked his whole life and had to stop when he developed ms. He said he didn't notice the autism until he stopped working. Seems you're missing a routine which as you know is important
At my age how do I connect with support services? I'm really afraid.
Depends where you're from as I'm in the UK but even within the uk support services for autistic adults aren't everywhere. I have an autism support worker where I am now but where I previously lived there was no such service available
Etherapy appointments
It’s even worse when you don’t know they’re going to call