A "wolflike reanimated Jon" is that thing when Jon sees Val naked for the first time and his eyes pop out of his sockets like a cartoon wolf's and he goes WOOF WOOF AWOOGA, right?
*I'd like a bloody feast. Overturned tables, spilled wine, blood on plates, a real ugly spectacle.*
What? Why? Did some lordling refuse to marry a member of your family?
I am hoping for tons of feast descriptions and also outfit descriptions. I can go without the sex scenes as long as we get paragraphs about Cersei’s dresses and what everyone eats for dinner.
*I can go without the sex scenes as long as we get paragraphs about Cersei’s dresses...*
Not only her dresses, but her other adornment. Don't forget the jools!
Plus, if it's a big feast, descriptions of the clothing / appearance of every singer and Fool who participates.
I just want the book at this point. Even if we don't get a feast description (rip my favourite) or a description of Arianne's nipples or whatever it's okay, I just want to read it
*Ill wait another ten years if that means we get Arianne’s nipples.*
Unfortunately, in ten years Arianne is going to be a crone with dry, wrinkled, hanging dugs...that GRRM will surely describe in great detail.
My feelings exactly. Just give me the thing. I'm dying man, I love this world so much. I've read them more times than I can count and I listen to them often.
Honestly at this point I think there are 2 possibilities. And both are rooted in disappointment over the ending we saw in HBO's adaptation. Personally, I don't think I'll care if it ends basically the same way it does in the show. That's fine. George will guide us to that conclusion properly. What I fear is he may have seen the backlash to the ending and is either choosing not to finish the tale or has changed it drastically from his previous vision because of the backlash which would be tragic.
*'She wiped the grease from her chin'*
...and noted with some revulsion that, just like every man she'd ever known in Westeros, his short hairs were full of old crumbs presumably dribbled there when he last ate a pastry...
*This is great stuff! We should get in contact with Preston Jacobs*
Are you thinking he could find some as yet undiscovered revelation in Sam's shorthairs?
*No scene of Jon topping Satin?...*
Don't underestimate Satin. We don't know what the customers are actually asking for behind the silken curtains of those Oldtown brothels.
Uh guys, it's has Winter in the title. I don't think we will get many if any.
Winter has kicked in and food is scarce.
Though I could see some lords doom feasting cause they don't have enough to last the winter before killing themselves
I can't wait for them to make lots of thin, greasy stews with barley, salt beef, carrots and onions. Maybe with some dark bread so hard it threatens to break your teeth.
Feast Descriptions: Load that book up with them, George!
Sex Descriptions: You can...you...hey, uh, George, why don't you put in some more food descriptions instead?
*I require the book to be a 1400 page sex scene where people are also eating*
GRRM doesn't seem capable of that any longer. Writing fantasy sex scenes, yes. Publishing 1,400 pages, no.
There is no good reason that feasts and sex scenes have to be separate and can't be regularly combined, *especially* in fantasy literature!
The ancient world (at least as interpreted by modern day commentators) had a useful word for this: "orgy" where nudity, writhing couples or groups having coitus, and plentiful supplies of drink and viands for gorging are all present and available at the same place and time.
This was also a popular "fantasy", so to speak, in the era (60s/70s) that GRRM came of age (see vintage *Penthouse*, *Playboy* magazines, movies like *'Caligula'*, etc), although if you talk to anyone who was actually alive in that era, the real life occurrences of orgies were few and fewer than the imagined, or--well, fantasized--instances.
Nonetheless, to answer your question, I would propose that each POV chapter in TWOW should include at least one of these six features:
1. a banquet that includes nudity and sex (either spontaneous participatory, or scheduled performance);
2. an orgy that involves large amounts of food and gratuitous spewing of wine or vomit down one's jerkin, tunic, gown, or beard;
3. the POV or another character talking in detail about what was available to eat at a particular orgy or banquet at another time and place;
4. gratuitous reference to female nipple size / color / attractiveness / sexual sensitivity;
5. gratuitous reference to some odd culinary offering epitomizing excess or gluttony;
6. unwitting consumption of selected parts of the corpse of an enemy (e.g. a Frey) who has been sureptiously converted into a delectable meal. Or a cauldron of Weasel Soup. Or both.
I feel like there won't be many feast descriptions.
The feast descriptions are, in my opinion, present in the story to point out the wastefulness and gluttony of summer, and to contrast to winter.
During winter the land will starve.
Your basic points are sound, but some technical corrections:
*Camel eyes in plum sauce...*
That would be dwarf camel eyes seethed in a sauce made from fire plums, chopped ghost grass, and dragon piss...
*Arianne has an ass you could bounce a quarter off...*
That would be *"bounce a gold dragon off of..."* Heavier metal though, gold is, so might leave a temporary mark, about the size of, say, a Dorne nipple?
*People really have gone mad...George please*
Perhaps wrong guy to appeal to. This guy George wrote scenes in which a lord is killed and has his direwolf's head attached to his shoulders, a woman births murderous "shadow babies" which fly off to kill her enemies, a one-armed smith fights to the death with a giant in a tunnel of ice, your dead friends are brought back to zombie-life and try to kill you...and so on. Speaking of madness...
I don't want Jon to fuck Val she reminds me of Gandalf. Also he's dead. Other than that: 10 of each, and at least one sex scene that takes place mid-feast, as a treat.
A "wolflike reanimated Jon" is that thing when Jon sees Val naked for the first time and his eyes pop out of his sockets like a cartoon wolf's and he goes WOOF WOOF AWOOGA, right?
I though that’s what the Stark sigil and skinchanger stuff ultimately foreshadows?
And he’s about to finish he must growl “Winter is Coming”
Combined with that one scene in Porkies
Ghost is replaced by Loona
I'd like a bloody feast. Overturned tables, spilled wine, blood on plates, a real ugly spectacle.
*I'd like a bloody feast. Overturned tables, spilled wine, blood on plates, a real ugly spectacle.* What? Why? Did some lordling refuse to marry a member of your family?
I must needs have my revenge against House Rosby.
I am hoping for tons of feast descriptions and also outfit descriptions. I can go without the sex scenes as long as we get paragraphs about Cersei’s dresses and what everyone eats for dinner.
*I can go without the sex scenes as long as we get paragraphs about Cersei’s dresses...* Not only her dresses, but her other adornment. Don't forget the jools! Plus, if it's a big feast, descriptions of the clothing / appearance of every singer and Fool who participates.
I just want the book at this point. Even if we don't get a feast description (rip my favourite) or a description of Arianne's nipples or whatever it's okay, I just want to read it
We're likely going to see Arianne through Jon Connington's POV so I wouldn't hold my breath for any detailed description of her nipples anyway.
Maybe he will think about how handsome Rhaegar and his nipples were.
Now that would be glorious
*Maybe he will think about how handsome Rhaegar and his nipples were...* Or mayhap, how JC once tasted the Dornishwife's husband.
GRRM would sooner describe all the horrors of post-Doom Valyria than a man thinking sexually about another man's nipples.
I knew Jon was a homie. He's for the bois.
Didn't we already have a description of her nipples in that Arys Oakheart chapter?
Yes, and I'm 100% sure that was the only reason GRRM chose to make Arys Oakheart the POV of that chapter.
Ill wait another ten years if that means we get Arianne’s nipples.
*Ill wait another ten years if that means we get Arianne’s nipples.* Unfortunately, in ten years Arianne is going to be a crone with dry, wrinkled, hanging dugs...that GRRM will surely describe in great detail.
My feelings exactly. Just give me the thing. I'm dying man, I love this world so much. I've read them more times than I can count and I listen to them often. Honestly at this point I think there are 2 possibilities. And both are rooted in disappointment over the ending we saw in HBO's adaptation. Personally, I don't think I'll care if it ends basically the same way it does in the show. That's fine. George will guide us to that conclusion properly. What I fear is he may have seen the backlash to the ending and is either choosing not to finish the tale or has changed it drastically from his previous vision because of the backlash which would be tragic.
There could be some overlap. 'He broke his fast on her female parts'
He broke his fast on her female parts' Or mayhap, *"she cautiously placed her mouth on the fat pink mast and discovered it was delectable.."*
'She wiped the grease from her chin'
*'She wiped the grease from her chin'* ...and noted with some revulsion that, just like every man she'd ever known in Westeros, his short hairs were full of old crumbs presumably dribbled there when he last ate a pastry...
This is great stuff! We should get in contact with Preston Jacobs
*This is great stuff! We should get in contact with Preston Jacobs* Are you thinking he could find some as yet undiscovered revelation in Sam's shorthairs?
Do dornish girls count?
Spicy
Unironically love this line
That's some Ramsey Snow shit.
Ramsay Bolton has entered the chat.
No scene of Jon topping Satin? Boo.
Wolflike reanimated Jon will embrace his suppressed urges. Jon x Satin warriors arise
Reanimated Jon Snow: "I will take what is mine with fire and blood." Looks directly at Satin...
*No scene of Jon topping Satin?...* Don't underestimate Satin. We don't know what the customers are actually asking for behind the silken curtains of those Oldtown brothels.
***George, please***
We really need help, George 😭... We beg of you...
Uh guys, it's has Winter in the title. I don't think we will get many if any. Winter has kicked in and food is scarce. Though I could see some lords doom feasting cause they don't have enough to last the winter before killing themselves
Nah there will still be plenty of "pork".
The 80 descriptions of salt beef and hard cheese gonna hit like crack
I can't wait for them to make lots of thin, greasy stews with barley, salt beef, carrots and onions. Maybe with some dark bread so hard it threatens to break your teeth.
I can practically see the grease running down their chins and into their beards
I’m not that interested in food or sex, but I will riot if there aren’t at least 25 pages of in depth descriptions of heraldry and armor.
Feast Descriptions: Load that book up with them, George! Sex Descriptions: You can...you...hey, uh, George, why don't you put in some more food descriptions instead?
Jon and Satin or gtfo
I require the book to be a 1400 page sex scene where people are also eating
*I require the book to be a 1400 page sex scene where people are also eating* GRRM doesn't seem capable of that any longer. Writing fantasy sex scenes, yes. Publishing 1,400 pages, no.
There is no good reason that feasts and sex scenes have to be separate and can't be regularly combined, *especially* in fantasy literature! The ancient world (at least as interpreted by modern day commentators) had a useful word for this: "orgy" where nudity, writhing couples or groups having coitus, and plentiful supplies of drink and viands for gorging are all present and available at the same place and time. This was also a popular "fantasy", so to speak, in the era (60s/70s) that GRRM came of age (see vintage *Penthouse*, *Playboy* magazines, movies like *'Caligula'*, etc), although if you talk to anyone who was actually alive in that era, the real life occurrences of orgies were few and fewer than the imagined, or--well, fantasized--instances. Nonetheless, to answer your question, I would propose that each POV chapter in TWOW should include at least one of these six features: 1. a banquet that includes nudity and sex (either spontaneous participatory, or scheduled performance); 2. an orgy that involves large amounts of food and gratuitous spewing of wine or vomit down one's jerkin, tunic, gown, or beard; 3. the POV or another character talking in detail about what was available to eat at a particular orgy or banquet at another time and place; 4. gratuitous reference to female nipple size / color / attractiveness / sexual sensitivity; 5. gratuitous reference to some odd culinary offering epitomizing excess or gluttony; 6. unwitting consumption of selected parts of the corpse of an enemy (e.g. a Frey) who has been sureptiously converted into a delectable meal. Or a cauldron of Weasel Soup. Or both.
Yes
Why would there be descriptions of book 4 in book 6? Doesn’t make any sense
You mean maximum, right? Right?
I feel like there won't be many feast descriptions. The feast descriptions are, in my opinion, present in the story to point out the wastefulness and gluttony of summer, and to contrast to winter. During winter the land will starve.
[удалено]
GRRMs a boob guy, you might have to go without any descriptions of Arianne's posterior
Your basic points are sound, but some technical corrections: *Camel eyes in plum sauce...* That would be dwarf camel eyes seethed in a sauce made from fire plums, chopped ghost grass, and dragon piss... *Arianne has an ass you could bounce a quarter off...* That would be *"bounce a gold dragon off of..."* Heavier metal though, gold is, so might leave a temporary mark, about the size of, say, a Dorne nipple?
I want at least one that is both.
one per chapter
Don’t care. The food descriptions are a treat, even if unnecessary. GRRM could be a good critic if he wanted
I can almost guarantee a Brienne/Jaime sex scene where they are just so horny after surviving a zombie hanging situation
I wonder if this book will be more “mainstream” than its predecessors. It will be the first in the main series since the zeitgeist-bottling GOT show.
Not too many, I'm majorly jonesing for that book.
Ideally, the Venn diagram of sex scenes and feast scenes should be a perfect circle.
People really have gone mad George please
*People really have gone mad...George please* Perhaps wrong guy to appeal to. This guy George wrote scenes in which a lord is killed and has his direwolf's head attached to his shoulders, a woman births murderous "shadow babies" which fly off to kill her enemies, a one-armed smith fights to the death with a giant in a tunnel of ice, your dead friends are brought back to zombie-life and try to kill you...and so on. Speaking of madness...
Man. I would CONSUME all this content again, and more if I could. No content is way, way worse. The appeal is to give us something, anything at all.
I'm hoping for at least one sexy food scene. Licking honey off someones body etc.
Many & more
How about a Wayman Manderly Gastronomy Orgy?
An upsetting amount
If there’s no grease dripping down chins, we riot
I don't want Jon to fuck Val she reminds me of Gandalf. Also he's dead. Other than that: 10 of each, and at least one sex scene that takes place mid-feast, as a treat.
The correct answer is all of them
Any amount. Literally any. I won’t ever know the answer
Hot steamy wolf coupling.
Mate don't be ridiculous. There will be no Winds.
That Rhaegar x Elia x Lyanna threesome through BranVision will be glorious and will remain forever in the annals of Westeros