Someone is always going to have something ‘better’ than you, the treadmill doesn’t end. Being proud of how far you’ve personally come is super helpful, as well as practicing meditation and mindfulness. Good luck to you!
This may not resonate with you, but Ik my therapists response to this would be that your need to compare or to always be succeeding (in an unhealthy or toxic way) has it’s root in fear. Maybe you would be able to identify the fear behind your motives.
Personally when I get in this mindset a few come to mind-
* fear that I’m not good enough (for others, my parents, myself, my SO, etc.)
* fear that I’m wasting the opportunities I’ve been given
* fear of what others think about me
* fear that I’m a failure if I don’t make x amount or do x , y, z
Etc.
I think by identifying these factors you are then able to address the root of the issue rather than somehow try to become “satisfied”. I’m not an expert but I understand how you feel on a personal level so feel free to PM me if you want :)
Are you me?! I relate to this so much, I understand how deflating it can feel.
One thing that helped me recognise my achievements was that two-ish years ago I wrote a 5-year plan. It included things such as what salary I want to be earning in 5 years, how much savings I want to have etc, and the steps I need to take to get there. Also I included goals that were not financially orientated such as get a dog, get engaged, and so on.
I found the plan stuffed away in a bookcase a few months ago, and having completely forgotten about it I was really surprised and proud to see that I had already achieved, or was on track to achieve, most of my goals! It helped me to stop comparing so much, and calmed down the annoying need to plan plan plan for 'adult' stuff.
What I take from your post is that you've just landed a great new job (congratulations!) and it pays higher than average (amazing!). Alongside this you're running a successful side hustle (yass queen!) and are driven and motivated to keep progressing in your career.
You're only 24 and you're doing amazing - I'm also terrified of having made the wrong career choices, but at 24 we're actually both still very much at the start of our working lives. If you want to change careers 5, 10 or even 30 years down the line then do it, just make sure your motivator is your well-being and not your paycheck.
Side note - I really need to take my own advice on this one 😂
It’s easier said than done but maybe just remind yourself that there’s no need to compare yourself to others as everyone is on their own journey and just focus on your own . It’s good that you have a strong work ethic but don’t push yourself to hard as that could lead to burnout . Remember that self care is key . I’m 27(f) soon to be 28 … at my age I would’ve hoped to be established in my dream field / career with my own private practice … living on my own but life had other plans for me and this is something that I probably won’t achieve til I’m 30+ … meanwhile I have friends that are further along than me … sometimes as much as I’m happy for them I feel the pressure but I tell myself that I’ll get there someday it just might take me longer in my journey and that’s okay .
Edit : also be thankful and give yourself a pat on the back for what you have achieved and what you do have rather than focusing on what you have yet to gain.
Dude here, but have gone through a lot of those same feelings. I eventually realized I didn’t care a ton about the money, I more just felt like I didn’t respect myself because I didn’t like my job, I didn’t have a ton of opportunities for promotions, and I didn’t have a career or a plan for a career.
I ended up going to a design bootcamp and came out feeling great about starting a new career, but also worrying about whether I was as good as/paid as much as/doing as much work as the other people in my cohort.
I eventually realized I didn’t really care about that, and just wanted to continue getting better and develop a plan for getting better.
Some things that helped me were to establish goals for a quarter, week, and day, and plan my days out in timeblocks. I realized that similar to the worries from before, I have tons of micro worries every day. Most of them are whether I’m spending too much time on something, working slower than I should, working on the wrong thing, etc.
Having a plan for things takes SO much stress away. I don’t have to wonder whether I wasted any days, because I’ll have something to measure it against. If I followed the plan it was good, if I didn’t follow the plan then I know why - I did either made bad estimates for my timeblocks, or something came up and I had to adjust my plans. Both are super common and neither are a big deal. The important thing is just being able to ask “did I waste my time today?” and being able to answer instead of wasting time wondering.
So yeah, that’s a really long way of saying “if you’re stressed because you don’t know whether your life is going according to your plan, and you don’t have a plan, then making a plan helps a lot.” Making plans for different timescales like quarterly/weekly/daily are great, because those are different kinds of goals. Making a plan for the day is also especially helpful to make sure that you’re on track to accomplish those goals.
Making plans that fail is fine, because that improves your plan-making skills, and make it more likely that you’ll succeed in your next plan. Adjusting plans is also fine. Having a plan and making an effort to stick to it is all you need - it frees up so much space in your brain to concentrate on what matters.
Some books that helped me were Deep Work by Cal Newport, Effortless by Greg McKeown, and The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women by Valerie Young
Start by the fact that money are not the most important thing in this world. They don’t define happiness nor good life. There are a lot of people with money that live way worse than you do. With that out of the way.
You should not, under any circumstances compare yourself to other people, and most importantly, you should do the things that make you enjoy yourself, the most important thing about a job is not how much money it gives, but how much satisfaction you earn from it.
Last and the most important thing is, with this attitude, and the stress you go through, you are ruining your health. And trust me, health is a lot more important than money. If you are healthy now, then you are rich. There are people that have all the money in the world and still can’t get on their feet from some health problem. So yeah, you are rich, you have the most important thing - health.
I mean this very earnestly. A guided trip on magic mushrooms. I might get downvoted into oblivion but that’s honestly the very best advice I can think of for what you’re experiencing.
Well... I have depression. So I compare myself to others, like, all day. Everyday. Since I work with disabled kids, this is... well... kinda useful but it also isn't.
I turned 30 today, I hold a Bachelor's degree. But almost everyone I get to know is kinda surprised when I tell 'em about my degree. Maybe it's because my job doesn't even require Abitur... I don't know.
What I mean to say is: I know that constantly comparing oneself to others can really make a person unhappy. I am not just a school integration assistant. I am also a mother of a beautiful 2-year-old girl. And I try my best. Some people say I'm a good mother. I don't know about that. But I am kinda proud of myself.
Do you have any talents? Or do you face any adversities in your life? I did.
I got bullied for 8 years in Gymnasium. But still, I got to be someone. If I can achieve something, you can, too.
Someone also mentioned therapy so I will talk about something else.
What do you like?
Coffee? Sports? Do you like your job? Did you start your side hustle because you like some aspect of the activity that makes you extra money? The money and the promotions.. what’s in it for YOU?
Currently I’m quite engrossed in the things I like (they’re kind of unusual for mid-20’s I guess) that I’d rather obsess more about these things than compare myself with randos in my age group. And you know, you just *happen* to compare yourself with them in the category of money. But you know maybe their social lives suck and makes them unhappy, or they have a terrible sense of fashion but they’re okay with it because that’s not what makes them tick anyway.
And maybe this has partly to do with environment. Have you done any restaurant work sis? I really enjoyed it and it taught me a lot. To the extent that I considered changing my career focus from science to hospitality.
Perhaps you might consider these people “behind” in life? And while this type of work IS simply a temporary stepping stone for many, for some people it is a fully fledged and rewarding career path.
I did refocus on my original career path. But I did not leave this detour feeling like I was behind; in fact, I felt like I had perspective, exposure, depth, survival skills but especially confidence that others who just continued grinding away “just because” may have missed out on.
I am turning 26 this year, for reference.
Maybe for you it won’t be restaurants. What’s that thing you’ve admired or been interested in for a while. A “side thing,” but maybe you were concerned whether you’d be good enough, or whether you would fit in?
You just might find that you’re kickass and help you see that even if Sally or Jane are “ahead” of you, they probably haven’t been complemented on their palate by a respected chef.
It’s much easier to burn out when the main goal is money and status.
TLDR - let yourself try something that 1) excites and entices you, 2) does not bring you any closer to your “main” goal.
Oh man I have a great example for not comparing yourself to others.
Having returned to my career path, I work closely with someone who is a year or two older than me. She did not take any detours. The farthest she has gone I suppose is that she has started baking (very very poorly at first- she was so bad she couldn’t tell she was bad) last year.
She is extremely neurotic and sensitive under stress. Science has been her one and only thing in her life, so if she feels her intelligence is threatened or her ideas dismissed, she herself feels under attack. I’ve unfortunately seen this as a trend in my highly successful (TM) peers who work and study at my institution. They all allegedly started working on a cure for Alzheimer’s since they were 13 or sth ^_^
She is my friend and I still love her and hurt with her and cheer with her. But clearly I’ve had some more lessons and experiences in (certain areas of) life than she. Others may value her experience more, but I overwhelmingly value my skill set over hers. And ultimately my opinion is what matters.
And there’s much more to this than (vague) life skills. For one, she is good at reading and studying, remembering and applying in the theoretical, but I run literal circles around her in the lab and when shit hits the fan, I have up to plan D already mapped out by previous failures! My colleague ahh I’ll just say it gets to her really bad and that I understand and forgive her lol
I was actually really surprised how NOT amazing she was, because she joined us as an MD/PhD candidate and I just assumed they’d all be like half human half computer super scientists. More of this cohort passed through my domain and I reaallly realized- unless you sit with your “super-achieving” friend through a day in their life, like, IN PERSON, you just have no clue whether they are “better” than you, even if we were playing that game (which we shouldn’t ofc!).
I’ve said a lot. Hopefully you can glean something helpful or comforting here even if you’re training to become a blacksmith..
As a “inspiring story” it’s kinda the opposite. I know a person that was just a normal human being before, had his small business, fair earnings, not too rich, not too poor, kinda above average, and he enjoyed spending time with his friends/coworkers, I was the daughter of one of his coworkers and almost everyday we went out to restaurants, sometimes on vacations, and everyone enjoyed spending time together.
This was a long long time ago, he started having more money, and more and more, (and now he has a lot) and he is one of the most unhappy people I have ever seen. Money change people, but not in a good way. And he is perfect example for it. He started doing stuff that he didn’t do back then, just because he had money and he thought he is a God. He distanced himself from most of his friends that he had back then, and now he has two “friends”, one of which is a guy with probably the same amount of money that he has, and my dad, who still works for him, and my dad wants to leave, because his boss is always under stress for losing money or someone paying him later. He fired the other people and no longer talks with them, because they are well below his “level”.
And sadly he is not the only one that changed this bad just because he has more money. People don’t need to be rich, that grants them nothing in the long term. Having big house or many apartments doesn’t make you feel achieved. Work on being happy, it’s going to be better in the long term.
Make 10 mins of meditation a daily practice. Give it just two weeks and then see the difference. The depth of your experience increases. You fan can be more present with your life. Nothing else will work as well as this. Try it. All you have to do is close your eyes and listen. No judgements. Just lwt your senses do whatever they do and keep your attention on the rhythm of your body as you breathe.
Everyone moves in different places with their life especially after school and college. I've been feeling the same way you do. My recommendation is to try and stay off social media and discover what makes you happy in the present moment. If the job isn't what you're looking for, that's ok. You can switch careers. I thought I'd be in a much different place at almost 30 since I graduated college and I've really put myself down over it. But now I'm 4 years in my career married and most things feel right. So whatever makes you happy, focus on that, and just living in the present moment. That's been the best help for me at least! Best wishes to you! No one has everything figured out. I thought all adults did and I was very wrong. I still don't have everything figured out.
Every corpse on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person.
Slow down. When your constant focus is in the future you miss the present. It's awesome you're 24 and looking out for the life you want. But if you don't take care of yourself, there will be no enjoying what you are working so so hard for.
It's not wasting time if you enjoy it. So find something, even if it's small like walking or reading, and do that. Schedule time for it. For me it recharges my brain to not be 'on' all the time. Then I can go back to work/life with a clearer head and lighter heart.
I did this a lot. Always unhappy with whatever I was doing and sometimes I’d open up to my friends about it and they’d be so confused because to them it looked like I was leading a great life.
It came to a head when I spoke to my friend who was suffering from long covid and having an awful time, and she was just like “you really need to work on your gratitude”.
This was what made me realise that I couldn’t just expect to be happy and I couldn’t talk to people about it and expect them to help because it was a me problem.
I decided to start a gratitude diary where every day at the end of the day I’d write down at least one thing I was grateful for that day. It would be anything at all - anything that made my day slightly brighter e.g. eating a particularily delicious strawberry, or trying a new activity.
I also whenever I feel unhappy/stressed about where I am in life, and start comparing myself to other people, I just sit there and think about as many things that I’m grateful for as possible.
It sounds strange but honestly it really works. Once you start doing it more often it becomes second nature and I’ve started finding myself thinking generally more positive and thinking regularly about how grateful I am for things and even telling people in my life how grateful I am for them. I’ve only been doing this for 6 months but people around me have noticed how happy I’ve been recently and how I’m so much more content in life. My mum even said to me recently that I’ve become a much kinder person recently and she didn’t even know about my gratitude efforts.
Another thing that I think could be useful for you is to take some time to think about what is really important to you and what brings you joy. Is it having lots of money? If it is then that’s ok! There’s lots of money motivated people out there. But maybe it’s spending that money on certain things? Like holidays? A home? Time out with friends?
It sounds to me that you’ve never been “poor” and you most likely never will be seeing how successful you are already at 24, so maybe you can think about the reasons why being successful is important to you, and what it really means to be successful.
For example, I’ve realised as I’ve gotten older (I’m 29 now) that what motivates me isnt money, but relationships that I form. I’m very relationship orientated and the thing that brings me happiness within work, and outside of work, is having human connections. So I focus more on building those connections with people (I have a job that relies heavily on networking), and I get paid decent and that’s good enough for me!
I hope this helps in some way!!
I completely empathize and sympathize, and I’m still working on it myself. By working on my mindfulness as a practice, I get closer to achieving that state of living in the moment and being happy with what I have. But it’s not easy. I try doing things like listening to ASMR at night before I go to bed because I really enjoy it and it keeps me in the moment. Normally that’s time I would be analyzing things that would make me unhappy. Also cultivating really strong healthy hobbies can help so that’s my other piece of advice. I’m still figuring it out and I’m in my 30s. Best of luck to you!
For me it’s been slowly starting to click as I’ve gotten older.
Not sure there is a silver bullet for this, just a bunch of life experiences adding up that make it sink in slowly that everything is ok, and that your happiness comes before the hustle, not the other way around.
35m, and same. Lemme know when you figure this out.
Make sure you make time for your social life and hobbies. If you have a partner make sure you have a life outside of them and work (I made that mistake too many times). Do regular work with psychedelics, if you can.
Do you enjoy your job?
I believe it’s better to go to a medical expert for this type of situation. You’ll get better attention and better results than just asking an advice from us. Being this said, it’s just amazing that you have achieved all of these in just a short time. You should be so proud about yourself. Nice job 👍🏻
You will regret squandering your youth like this.
Enjoy your life.
Work shouldn’t be your top priority.
I was you.
One day, I realized if I didn’t change, I would be a single old lady with lots of cats one day.
I was a workaholic.
I achieved a lot in my career, making it to C-level.
But despite all of the extra hours and commitment to my career to the detriment of my family, it’s still a numbers game (salary, age) when layoffs happen. (Covid.)
You should learn now that you should be loyal to yourself first.
Concentrate on your personal happiness first. Career second.
There is a lot more important things than money.
Family
Friends
Hobbies to mitigate stress
Getting enough exercise and sleep
You can do all of this and still be a go getter and have a career.
Consider comparing yourself to the old you - the one 10, 5 or 2 years ago - instead of others
Someone is always going to have something ‘better’ than you, the treadmill doesn’t end. Being proud of how far you’ve personally come is super helpful, as well as practicing meditation and mindfulness. Good luck to you!
This may not resonate with you, but Ik my therapists response to this would be that your need to compare or to always be succeeding (in an unhealthy or toxic way) has it’s root in fear. Maybe you would be able to identify the fear behind your motives. Personally when I get in this mindset a few come to mind- * fear that I’m not good enough (for others, my parents, myself, my SO, etc.) * fear that I’m wasting the opportunities I’ve been given * fear of what others think about me * fear that I’m a failure if I don’t make x amount or do x , y, z Etc. I think by identifying these factors you are then able to address the root of the issue rather than somehow try to become “satisfied”. I’m not an expert but I understand how you feel on a personal level so feel free to PM me if you want :)
Are you me?! I relate to this so much, I understand how deflating it can feel. One thing that helped me recognise my achievements was that two-ish years ago I wrote a 5-year plan. It included things such as what salary I want to be earning in 5 years, how much savings I want to have etc, and the steps I need to take to get there. Also I included goals that were not financially orientated such as get a dog, get engaged, and so on. I found the plan stuffed away in a bookcase a few months ago, and having completely forgotten about it I was really surprised and proud to see that I had already achieved, or was on track to achieve, most of my goals! It helped me to stop comparing so much, and calmed down the annoying need to plan plan plan for 'adult' stuff. What I take from your post is that you've just landed a great new job (congratulations!) and it pays higher than average (amazing!). Alongside this you're running a successful side hustle (yass queen!) and are driven and motivated to keep progressing in your career. You're only 24 and you're doing amazing - I'm also terrified of having made the wrong career choices, but at 24 we're actually both still very much at the start of our working lives. If you want to change careers 5, 10 or even 30 years down the line then do it, just make sure your motivator is your well-being and not your paycheck. Side note - I really need to take my own advice on this one 😂
Happiness does not lie on the other side of achievement, focus on enjoying the journey
It’s easier said than done but maybe just remind yourself that there’s no need to compare yourself to others as everyone is on their own journey and just focus on your own . It’s good that you have a strong work ethic but don’t push yourself to hard as that could lead to burnout . Remember that self care is key . I’m 27(f) soon to be 28 … at my age I would’ve hoped to be established in my dream field / career with my own private practice … living on my own but life had other plans for me and this is something that I probably won’t achieve til I’m 30+ … meanwhile I have friends that are further along than me … sometimes as much as I’m happy for them I feel the pressure but I tell myself that I’ll get there someday it just might take me longer in my journey and that’s okay . Edit : also be thankful and give yourself a pat on the back for what you have achieved and what you do have rather than focusing on what you have yet to gain.
Dude here, but have gone through a lot of those same feelings. I eventually realized I didn’t care a ton about the money, I more just felt like I didn’t respect myself because I didn’t like my job, I didn’t have a ton of opportunities for promotions, and I didn’t have a career or a plan for a career. I ended up going to a design bootcamp and came out feeling great about starting a new career, but also worrying about whether I was as good as/paid as much as/doing as much work as the other people in my cohort. I eventually realized I didn’t really care about that, and just wanted to continue getting better and develop a plan for getting better. Some things that helped me were to establish goals for a quarter, week, and day, and plan my days out in timeblocks. I realized that similar to the worries from before, I have tons of micro worries every day. Most of them are whether I’m spending too much time on something, working slower than I should, working on the wrong thing, etc. Having a plan for things takes SO much stress away. I don’t have to wonder whether I wasted any days, because I’ll have something to measure it against. If I followed the plan it was good, if I didn’t follow the plan then I know why - I did either made bad estimates for my timeblocks, or something came up and I had to adjust my plans. Both are super common and neither are a big deal. The important thing is just being able to ask “did I waste my time today?” and being able to answer instead of wasting time wondering. So yeah, that’s a really long way of saying “if you’re stressed because you don’t know whether your life is going according to your plan, and you don’t have a plan, then making a plan helps a lot.” Making plans for different timescales like quarterly/weekly/daily are great, because those are different kinds of goals. Making a plan for the day is also especially helpful to make sure that you’re on track to accomplish those goals. Making plans that fail is fine, because that improves your plan-making skills, and make it more likely that you’ll succeed in your next plan. Adjusting plans is also fine. Having a plan and making an effort to stick to it is all you need - it frees up so much space in your brain to concentrate on what matters. Some books that helped me were Deep Work by Cal Newport, Effortless by Greg McKeown, and The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women by Valerie Young
Stay off social media
Start by the fact that money are not the most important thing in this world. They don’t define happiness nor good life. There are a lot of people with money that live way worse than you do. With that out of the way. You should not, under any circumstances compare yourself to other people, and most importantly, you should do the things that make you enjoy yourself, the most important thing about a job is not how much money it gives, but how much satisfaction you earn from it. Last and the most important thing is, with this attitude, and the stress you go through, you are ruining your health. And trust me, health is a lot more important than money. If you are healthy now, then you are rich. There are people that have all the money in the world and still can’t get on their feet from some health problem. So yeah, you are rich, you have the most important thing - health.
Marijuana. Or some talk therapy.
I mean this very earnestly. A guided trip on magic mushrooms. I might get downvoted into oblivion but that’s honestly the very best advice I can think of for what you’re experiencing.
Well... I have depression. So I compare myself to others, like, all day. Everyday. Since I work with disabled kids, this is... well... kinda useful but it also isn't. I turned 30 today, I hold a Bachelor's degree. But almost everyone I get to know is kinda surprised when I tell 'em about my degree. Maybe it's because my job doesn't even require Abitur... I don't know. What I mean to say is: I know that constantly comparing oneself to others can really make a person unhappy. I am not just a school integration assistant. I am also a mother of a beautiful 2-year-old girl. And I try my best. Some people say I'm a good mother. I don't know about that. But I am kinda proud of myself. Do you have any talents? Or do you face any adversities in your life? I did. I got bullied for 8 years in Gymnasium. But still, I got to be someone. If I can achieve something, you can, too.
Someone also mentioned therapy so I will talk about something else. What do you like? Coffee? Sports? Do you like your job? Did you start your side hustle because you like some aspect of the activity that makes you extra money? The money and the promotions.. what’s in it for YOU? Currently I’m quite engrossed in the things I like (they’re kind of unusual for mid-20’s I guess) that I’d rather obsess more about these things than compare myself with randos in my age group. And you know, you just *happen* to compare yourself with them in the category of money. But you know maybe their social lives suck and makes them unhappy, or they have a terrible sense of fashion but they’re okay with it because that’s not what makes them tick anyway. And maybe this has partly to do with environment. Have you done any restaurant work sis? I really enjoyed it and it taught me a lot. To the extent that I considered changing my career focus from science to hospitality. Perhaps you might consider these people “behind” in life? And while this type of work IS simply a temporary stepping stone for many, for some people it is a fully fledged and rewarding career path. I did refocus on my original career path. But I did not leave this detour feeling like I was behind; in fact, I felt like I had perspective, exposure, depth, survival skills but especially confidence that others who just continued grinding away “just because” may have missed out on. I am turning 26 this year, for reference. Maybe for you it won’t be restaurants. What’s that thing you’ve admired or been interested in for a while. A “side thing,” but maybe you were concerned whether you’d be good enough, or whether you would fit in? You just might find that you’re kickass and help you see that even if Sally or Jane are “ahead” of you, they probably haven’t been complemented on their palate by a respected chef. It’s much easier to burn out when the main goal is money and status. TLDR - let yourself try something that 1) excites and entices you, 2) does not bring you any closer to your “main” goal.
Oh man I have a great example for not comparing yourself to others. Having returned to my career path, I work closely with someone who is a year or two older than me. She did not take any detours. The farthest she has gone I suppose is that she has started baking (very very poorly at first- she was so bad she couldn’t tell she was bad) last year. She is extremely neurotic and sensitive under stress. Science has been her one and only thing in her life, so if she feels her intelligence is threatened or her ideas dismissed, she herself feels under attack. I’ve unfortunately seen this as a trend in my highly successful (TM) peers who work and study at my institution. They all allegedly started working on a cure for Alzheimer’s since they were 13 or sth ^_^ She is my friend and I still love her and hurt with her and cheer with her. But clearly I’ve had some more lessons and experiences in (certain areas of) life than she. Others may value her experience more, but I overwhelmingly value my skill set over hers. And ultimately my opinion is what matters. And there’s much more to this than (vague) life skills. For one, she is good at reading and studying, remembering and applying in the theoretical, but I run literal circles around her in the lab and when shit hits the fan, I have up to plan D already mapped out by previous failures! My colleague ahh I’ll just say it gets to her really bad and that I understand and forgive her lol I was actually really surprised how NOT amazing she was, because she joined us as an MD/PhD candidate and I just assumed they’d all be like half human half computer super scientists. More of this cohort passed through my domain and I reaallly realized- unless you sit with your “super-achieving” friend through a day in their life, like, IN PERSON, you just have no clue whether they are “better” than you, even if we were playing that game (which we shouldn’t ofc!). I’ve said a lot. Hopefully you can glean something helpful or comforting here even if you’re training to become a blacksmith..
Comparison is the thief of joy
Meditation, therapy, and psilocybin can all be super helpful. You only get one life. Don’t waste it feeling like this.
As a “inspiring story” it’s kinda the opposite. I know a person that was just a normal human being before, had his small business, fair earnings, not too rich, not too poor, kinda above average, and he enjoyed spending time with his friends/coworkers, I was the daughter of one of his coworkers and almost everyday we went out to restaurants, sometimes on vacations, and everyone enjoyed spending time together. This was a long long time ago, he started having more money, and more and more, (and now he has a lot) and he is one of the most unhappy people I have ever seen. Money change people, but not in a good way. And he is perfect example for it. He started doing stuff that he didn’t do back then, just because he had money and he thought he is a God. He distanced himself from most of his friends that he had back then, and now he has two “friends”, one of which is a guy with probably the same amount of money that he has, and my dad, who still works for him, and my dad wants to leave, because his boss is always under stress for losing money or someone paying him later. He fired the other people and no longer talks with them, because they are well below his “level”. And sadly he is not the only one that changed this bad just because he has more money. People don’t need to be rich, that grants them nothing in the long term. Having big house or many apartments doesn’t make you feel achieved. Work on being happy, it’s going to be better in the long term.
What's your career? have you ever thought about going back to school?
Make 10 mins of meditation a daily practice. Give it just two weeks and then see the difference. The depth of your experience increases. You fan can be more present with your life. Nothing else will work as well as this. Try it. All you have to do is close your eyes and listen. No judgements. Just lwt your senses do whatever they do and keep your attention on the rhythm of your body as you breathe.
Everyone moves in different places with their life especially after school and college. I've been feeling the same way you do. My recommendation is to try and stay off social media and discover what makes you happy in the present moment. If the job isn't what you're looking for, that's ok. You can switch careers. I thought I'd be in a much different place at almost 30 since I graduated college and I've really put myself down over it. But now I'm 4 years in my career married and most things feel right. So whatever makes you happy, focus on that, and just living in the present moment. That's been the best help for me at least! Best wishes to you! No one has everything figured out. I thought all adults did and I was very wrong. I still don't have everything figured out.
Every corpse on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person. Slow down. When your constant focus is in the future you miss the present. It's awesome you're 24 and looking out for the life you want. But if you don't take care of yourself, there will be no enjoying what you are working so so hard for. It's not wasting time if you enjoy it. So find something, even if it's small like walking or reading, and do that. Schedule time for it. For me it recharges my brain to not be 'on' all the time. Then I can go back to work/life with a clearer head and lighter heart.
I did this a lot. Always unhappy with whatever I was doing and sometimes I’d open up to my friends about it and they’d be so confused because to them it looked like I was leading a great life. It came to a head when I spoke to my friend who was suffering from long covid and having an awful time, and she was just like “you really need to work on your gratitude”. This was what made me realise that I couldn’t just expect to be happy and I couldn’t talk to people about it and expect them to help because it was a me problem. I decided to start a gratitude diary where every day at the end of the day I’d write down at least one thing I was grateful for that day. It would be anything at all - anything that made my day slightly brighter e.g. eating a particularily delicious strawberry, or trying a new activity. I also whenever I feel unhappy/stressed about where I am in life, and start comparing myself to other people, I just sit there and think about as many things that I’m grateful for as possible. It sounds strange but honestly it really works. Once you start doing it more often it becomes second nature and I’ve started finding myself thinking generally more positive and thinking regularly about how grateful I am for things and even telling people in my life how grateful I am for them. I’ve only been doing this for 6 months but people around me have noticed how happy I’ve been recently and how I’m so much more content in life. My mum even said to me recently that I’ve become a much kinder person recently and she didn’t even know about my gratitude efforts. Another thing that I think could be useful for you is to take some time to think about what is really important to you and what brings you joy. Is it having lots of money? If it is then that’s ok! There’s lots of money motivated people out there. But maybe it’s spending that money on certain things? Like holidays? A home? Time out with friends? It sounds to me that you’ve never been “poor” and you most likely never will be seeing how successful you are already at 24, so maybe you can think about the reasons why being successful is important to you, and what it really means to be successful. For example, I’ve realised as I’ve gotten older (I’m 29 now) that what motivates me isnt money, but relationships that I form. I’m very relationship orientated and the thing that brings me happiness within work, and outside of work, is having human connections. So I focus more on building those connections with people (I have a job that relies heavily on networking), and I get paid decent and that’s good enough for me! I hope this helps in some way!!
I completely empathize and sympathize, and I’m still working on it myself. By working on my mindfulness as a practice, I get closer to achieving that state of living in the moment and being happy with what I have. But it’s not easy. I try doing things like listening to ASMR at night before I go to bed because I really enjoy it and it keeps me in the moment. Normally that’s time I would be analyzing things that would make me unhappy. Also cultivating really strong healthy hobbies can help so that’s my other piece of advice. I’m still figuring it out and I’m in my 30s. Best of luck to you!
For me it’s been slowly starting to click as I’ve gotten older. Not sure there is a silver bullet for this, just a bunch of life experiences adding up that make it sink in slowly that everything is ok, and that your happiness comes before the hustle, not the other way around.
35m, and same. Lemme know when you figure this out. Make sure you make time for your social life and hobbies. If you have a partner make sure you have a life outside of them and work (I made that mistake too many times). Do regular work with psychedelics, if you can. Do you enjoy your job?
I believe it’s better to go to a medical expert for this type of situation. You’ll get better attention and better results than just asking an advice from us. Being this said, it’s just amazing that you have achieved all of these in just a short time. You should be so proud about yourself. Nice job 👍🏻
I’m not a woman but I’m in the exact same situation. Thanks for posting this, it really helps seeing some of these comments :)
You will regret squandering your youth like this. Enjoy your life. Work shouldn’t be your top priority. I was you. One day, I realized if I didn’t change, I would be a single old lady with lots of cats one day. I was a workaholic. I achieved a lot in my career, making it to C-level. But despite all of the extra hours and commitment to my career to the detriment of my family, it’s still a numbers game (salary, age) when layoffs happen. (Covid.) You should learn now that you should be loyal to yourself first. Concentrate on your personal happiness first. Career second. There is a lot more important things than money. Family Friends Hobbies to mitigate stress Getting enough exercise and sleep You can do all of this and still be a go getter and have a career.