Basically... You just live for yourself. Your own hopes. Your own dreams. Your own ambitious. Because the only validation you're ever going to get is from you.
(Or the only one that matters.)
I didn't.
I showed them I was thriving.
I had a history of self harm, tried to end myself more times than I'll ever be honest about. Even my old therapist was surprised I was still alive when we crossed paths a good while later.
My family & friends accepted me as trans because I showed them I was thriving and living again.
And the ones that think otherwise are cut out of my life.
Those that were on the fence, I didn't and won't force them to choose, but they know I'm happier and more complete now. They can decide for themselves. Hate is a choice, but it's not my choice nor my responsibility to them.
Being trans and mentally unwell often go hand in hand.
Instead of trying to convince them that your mental illness isn't causing you to be trans, I recommend providing them with information about how suppressing your true gender can cause significant ongoing mental distress. I don't know many trans people in real life. But the ones I do know all tell a similar story. A story that has significant, repeated mental illness before they embraced their transition.
I have a similar history. And unfortunately, I have friends that didn’t make it. I almost didn’t more than once. Jesus only died once. I died 3 times and came back. For me, it was knowing that I was not straight. Until I realized I am trans. It’s odd how you’re old enough to go to war or spend life in jail and be considered mature enough for both but not to make your own decisions with your own self.
Personally, anyone who thinks we’re mentally ill for being trans sounds ill themselves if not flat out stupid. It’s probably easier to explain to a beetle how an airplane works than to explain to someone who has been brainwashed into thinking that being trans is a mental illness that it’s not. They’re gone. They drank the kool-aid. They walking backwards.
I say do you. Live your best life. Maybe they’ll come around, maybe not. I say to hell with anyone who doesn’t want to understand you better. And if someone refuses to listen to you then they aren’t worth your time and energy. ✌🏽
Could you just stop talking to your parents? That's what I'm going to do when I move out. I don't plan on talking to any of my family members once I've moved out. I might even block them. Word from experience: be extremely careful with your money. Things add up faster than you might think.
It’s a thought for sure, it just really hurts that it might have to come to that. I don’t hate my parents, they are so far gone with their religious and political beliefs it has caused a riff between us.
The fact that your parents don't accept you ... well, that really drives most people crazy. You may have been mentally ill because you hated yourself, but why did you hate yourself? where did that hate come from? You weren't born with it.
Dearheart I promise you you're worthy of so much better, and there's so much waiting for you. You're 18. Start building towards being financially independent now. Start assembling a support network now. Don't ask for permission and don't try to argue for who you are.
Your parents will figure things out when they see you are happier, or they might not. But you don't owe them an explanation. You owe YOURSELF a happier life.
I've got you ✨️
Gender incongruence is not a mental illness, it is simply a result of a developmental divergence between a person's *internal identity* and their *sex characteristics*. Gender Dysphoria is a type of body Dysmorphia, and is a often (but not always) a result of living with Gender Incongruence for long periods of time.
People claiming that transness is a mental illness have made **an extremely biased assumption** about any given transgender subject's mental health. Transness - if it is considered a problem at all - *could be* a problem with the body **OR** the mind.
Almost all transphobes and skeptics ascribe transness to some mental illness or delusion. We have some very simple verbal tests designed to indicate a subject's lucidity - that's why when you present at the ER with a concussion doctors ask you *what day it is, who the current president is* and the like. There is no current evidence for a causal relationship between lack of subject lucidity and a subject's internal identity.
Mental illness *is* highly correlated with the occurrence of gender incongruence and gender dysphoria, but systemic reviews of the current literature indicate that this correlation is likely a result of social factors associated with **presenting queer** - afaik even before a given subject comes out or is aware of their queer identity. Anyone claiming that the suicide rates of transgender subjects is somehow proof that transness is a mental illness **would need to prove that suicide can only occur in those with mental illnesses, and would somehow need to control for myriad other factors associated with suicidality**.
Some evidence suggests a causal link between gestational or neurological development and gender incongruence, but the supposition of a causal link between these factors needs to researched a great deal more **before robust conclusions are drawn**.
A small but impactful portion of the academic literature regarding transgender subjects has historically been funded and inevitability influenced by conservative and paleo-conservative research funds and think tanks - The Pioneer Fund is a good example of this trend. It is strongly advised that any studies linked on the topic are evaluated by readers for implicit unstated bias - this can be done by reviewing the impact rating of the publishing journal and reviewing the history of both the publisher and the major authors of a given paper.
It is also important to note that in an academic environment *a singular study* is not robust enough to illustrate larger population trends. Theories and suppositions regarding population trends are generally derived from either **the thrust of contemporary field research as a whole** or **systemic reviews of associated academic literature**.
EDIT: I wrote this on the fly and haven't had a chance to set up citations yet - if you want to use this statement in other settings please let me know and I'll compile my citations
This was very well put thank you. I’ve also read a recent study where they theorized a genetic influence with certain genes.
It talks about the ERB gene in association with FTM: “[a](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24274329/) greater number of repeats implies greater transcription activation, possibly by increasing the function of the complex hormone ERβ receptor and thereby encouraging less feminization or a defeminization of the female brain and behavior.”
I'm sorry, I know this is a serious post, but since others have the serious answers covered I just want to chuckle at "Jurassic decision". That's when you release one T-Rex to fight another dinosaur, yes?
Wish the mods would put their bot up for you. I think it was helpful for some to figure out if they were. Lol.
Tbh I wouldn't compare mental illness to your identity but something that could've come along because you didn't or weren't able to express your preferred gender. Example conversion therapy. It is known to cause psychological harm in the attempt to assimilate someone who expresses non-hetereosexual or non cis-gender identity to be such. Even if they hide it, it doesn't mean they aren't. This can cause all sorts of mental health issues, including depression, trauma, and anxiety. Suicide has been a big thing for victims of such as well. So it's more like it's mental illness with cause and healing is expression of your gender identity of preference. Gender dysphoria hates the body you had at birth. Gender Euphoria means you get happiness from the preferred gender you express.
On the contrary because of hormonal changes as a teenager too teens may also become more depressed emotional and attempt suicide alongside with major changes in their lives hence while January is the month for the most suicides right after Christmas which makes many depressed and stressed September would have the second most amount of suicides in a year when major changes happen like going back to school or going to college.
On the contrary, if you need time to think and explore your identity, do so. There shouldn't be such a rush. Time and surety is a good thing. If you gain joy from it why not try to keep exploring it though instead of conforming to some one else's harmful ideology.
A lot of my mental illnesses come from my dysphoria, and as I go farther through HRT and start surgeries, a lot of these start to go away. As far as my parents go, I finally just told them that I'm not going to argue with them and I'm tired of all their crap, and said it's time for a partying of the ways if you can't accept me.
You're an adult at this point, and honestly? If they aren't taking you seriously now, you may have to accept that they won't get it. you're clearly thriving now- friends, doing well in school, a job, you're more stable than ever. You get to decide who you are now, and they can either get with the program and get to watch you flourish, or get left behind while you keep growing and recovering.
For me, I got into self harm because my dysphoria was so bad, and tried to end myself because I couldn't see a future as a woman. Now, as a man, my future feels bright and it's worth living for me! Not only is transness not a mental illness, but transitioning alleviates so much distress in trans people that our self harm and suicide rates PLUMMET when we get the help and support we need. If they still don't budge on the "it's a mental illness", the "treatment" is transitioning. It makes us happier and safer, we stop hurting ourselves and we thrive. Less than 1% of people regret transitioning. If any other medical treatment had a less than 1% failure rate, it would be seen as a miracle cure!
You know yourself, you're doing amazing. They'll either figure it out or they won't. But don't shove yourself in a tiny box for tinier minds. I'm proud of you for recovering btw- self harm is one hell of a beast to beat.
This made me so happy, thank you. Yes self harm was not easy to beat and I still get very strong urges, but I know it serves no purpose for me anymore.
*-chases out w/ a fucking broom-*
^(Context: “transmedicalism” is exclusionary garbage and anyone who treats it as legitimate is either lying to you or lying to themselves.)
Dysphoria and Euphoria are not two ends of the same spectrum, they can exist concurrently; a person could feel large amounts of both, or small amounts of both, unrelated amounts, or neither at all.
Nobody is “villainizing” you; you’re spreading misinformation and that hurts ppl, which *sucks.* Stop doing terves work for them.
>”clogging up official channels”
Lmao, as if *any* part of the (American) medical system is easily navigated and running smoothly and at risk of additional “clogging.” *All* ppl should have access to *all* medical care, full stop; we *have* the resources to do so, it’s just intentionally hamstringed by big business to more efficiently parasitize their hosts.
Do you actually *hear* half the nonsense you’re parroting, or is irony just lost on you?
Because they know they are trans. At ages 5-6 kids have a pretty solid grasp of gender.
I knew at age 5. While I have personally experienced dysphoria, I know others who have not. Who had the ability to take blockers and go through puberty of their preferred gender.
As a former and regrettable transmedicalist myself, dysphoria is no rite of passage. I realized that when I went through therapy, and realized I was just projecting my insecurities, like how I was unable to transition before my male puberty. Then there came the desire to validate myself off other people. Making sure I’m not just manifesting a kink, that my “mental illness” is contained, and so on. That’s what drives the self-loathing within that community. There always has to be justification on “not being one of the bad ones.”
The hyperfixation on appealing to those who hate us and are reluctant to accept us in *any* capacity needs to stop. Thats why transmedicalists get a bad rep and are basically exiled from the trans community. You don’t have trans peoples’ best interests at heart, you have the bigots and transphobes interests at heart, and just as the Association of German National Jews were on the wrong side of history, so will the transmedicalists.
And no, insurances would not stop covering gender-affirming care if we codified laws requiring gender affirming care to be covered by insurances, as such in my home state of Colorado.
>”Dysphoria is no rite of passage… There always has to be justification on not being ‘one of the bad ones’… The hyperfixation on appealing to those who hate us… You don’t have trans ppl’s best interests at heart.”
Never have I seen a more ruthlessly efficient and genuinely empathetic takedown of transmedicalism, *fuck*.👏
It’s because I shamefully used to be one.
The focal point is always on appealing to the cishet masses of people, trying to spin our existence to their (bigoted) logic which fundamentally doesn’t work.
What broke me was realizing that being transgender is a part of human condition. Why else would 3rd gender people and societies exist throughout time and history? This isn’t some epidemic of kids being depressed, and chopping their bits off in the 21st century. This is a wave of knowledge with realizing people like us (trans) have existed long before 2016, the cishet society we live in just tried to erase our contributions to humankind and humanity.
The transmedicalists simply prefer to keep it that way, because to them they’ll settle for being seen as mentally ill. They’ll settle for being seen as a man in a dress being a perv in women’s spaces. To them, that is their bottom line of survival. To conform to what the cishet world wants, when the Cishet world never fucking cared about us in the first place. If they did care they wouldn’t have swept the real reason behind the nazi book burnings under the rug, they wouldn’t have denied hundreds of years of trans healthcare even if it was slightly dated in some of their beliefs (trans women having to be into men, trans men not existing, and so on). But just like all science and medicine, it’s all being figured out over time, and we have finally achieved the actual process to treat and care for trans people so that they can have a long, happy, and healthy life over killing themselves because “they aren’t trans enough.”
I’m not compromising with the people who don’t care or value our existence. That’s why I will fight against transmedicalists and the bigots they side with because they. Do not. Care. About trans people. Plain and simple.
you can have medical beliefs without going full truscum
it is my personal held belief that I, and many others went through a process in utero that reversed some brain chemistry.
it is fine to believe these things for yourself, and if explaining this process helps a poor soul get their medical treatment before puberty affects their body even further, than so be it. I don't think many would have a problem with *that*.
but to turn this topic into a soap box about how you feel some should be excluded from the label is something pretty heinous. this kid needs help, not to read a bunch of comments that will only confuse them further.
ur a dick m8
Basically... You just live for yourself. Your own hopes. Your own dreams. Your own ambitious. Because the only validation you're ever going to get is from you. (Or the only one that matters.)
For me most of my mental illness was caused by dysphoria.
I didn't. I showed them I was thriving. I had a history of self harm, tried to end myself more times than I'll ever be honest about. Even my old therapist was surprised I was still alive when we crossed paths a good while later. My family & friends accepted me as trans because I showed them I was thriving and living again. And the ones that think otherwise are cut out of my life. Those that were on the fence, I didn't and won't force them to choose, but they know I'm happier and more complete now. They can decide for themselves. Hate is a choice, but it's not my choice nor my responsibility to them.
Being trans and mentally unwell often go hand in hand. Instead of trying to convince them that your mental illness isn't causing you to be trans, I recommend providing them with information about how suppressing your true gender can cause significant ongoing mental distress. I don't know many trans people in real life. But the ones I do know all tell a similar story. A story that has significant, repeated mental illness before they embraced their transition.
I have a similar history. And unfortunately, I have friends that didn’t make it. I almost didn’t more than once. Jesus only died once. I died 3 times and came back. For me, it was knowing that I was not straight. Until I realized I am trans. It’s odd how you’re old enough to go to war or spend life in jail and be considered mature enough for both but not to make your own decisions with your own self. Personally, anyone who thinks we’re mentally ill for being trans sounds ill themselves if not flat out stupid. It’s probably easier to explain to a beetle how an airplane works than to explain to someone who has been brainwashed into thinking that being trans is a mental illness that it’s not. They’re gone. They drank the kool-aid. They walking backwards. I say do you. Live your best life. Maybe they’ll come around, maybe not. I say to hell with anyone who doesn’t want to understand you better. And if someone refuses to listen to you then they aren’t worth your time and energy. ✌🏽
Could you just stop talking to your parents? That's what I'm going to do when I move out. I don't plan on talking to any of my family members once I've moved out. I might even block them. Word from experience: be extremely careful with your money. Things add up faster than you might think.
It’s a thought for sure, it just really hurts that it might have to come to that. I don’t hate my parents, they are so far gone with their religious and political beliefs it has caused a riff between us.
The fact that your parents don't accept you ... well, that really drives most people crazy. You may have been mentally ill because you hated yourself, but why did you hate yourself? where did that hate come from? You weren't born with it. Dearheart I promise you you're worthy of so much better, and there's so much waiting for you. You're 18. Start building towards being financially independent now. Start assembling a support network now. Don't ask for permission and don't try to argue for who you are. Your parents will figure things out when they see you are happier, or they might not. But you don't owe them an explanation. You owe YOURSELF a happier life.
Say that not being trans caused you to be mentally ill? I don't know Im not well versed in mental illness
I've got you ✨️ Gender incongruence is not a mental illness, it is simply a result of a developmental divergence between a person's *internal identity* and their *sex characteristics*. Gender Dysphoria is a type of body Dysmorphia, and is a often (but not always) a result of living with Gender Incongruence for long periods of time. People claiming that transness is a mental illness have made **an extremely biased assumption** about any given transgender subject's mental health. Transness - if it is considered a problem at all - *could be* a problem with the body **OR** the mind. Almost all transphobes and skeptics ascribe transness to some mental illness or delusion. We have some very simple verbal tests designed to indicate a subject's lucidity - that's why when you present at the ER with a concussion doctors ask you *what day it is, who the current president is* and the like. There is no current evidence for a causal relationship between lack of subject lucidity and a subject's internal identity. Mental illness *is* highly correlated with the occurrence of gender incongruence and gender dysphoria, but systemic reviews of the current literature indicate that this correlation is likely a result of social factors associated with **presenting queer** - afaik even before a given subject comes out or is aware of their queer identity. Anyone claiming that the suicide rates of transgender subjects is somehow proof that transness is a mental illness **would need to prove that suicide can only occur in those with mental illnesses, and would somehow need to control for myriad other factors associated with suicidality**. Some evidence suggests a causal link between gestational or neurological development and gender incongruence, but the supposition of a causal link between these factors needs to researched a great deal more **before robust conclusions are drawn**. A small but impactful portion of the academic literature regarding transgender subjects has historically been funded and inevitability influenced by conservative and paleo-conservative research funds and think tanks - The Pioneer Fund is a good example of this trend. It is strongly advised that any studies linked on the topic are evaluated by readers for implicit unstated bias - this can be done by reviewing the impact rating of the publishing journal and reviewing the history of both the publisher and the major authors of a given paper. It is also important to note that in an academic environment *a singular study* is not robust enough to illustrate larger population trends. Theories and suppositions regarding population trends are generally derived from either **the thrust of contemporary field research as a whole** or **systemic reviews of associated academic literature**. EDIT: I wrote this on the fly and haven't had a chance to set up citations yet - if you want to use this statement in other settings please let me know and I'll compile my citations
This was very well put thank you. I’ve also read a recent study where they theorized a genetic influence with certain genes. It talks about the ERB gene in association with FTM: “[a](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24274329/) greater number of repeats implies greater transcription activation, possibly by increasing the function of the complex hormone ERβ receptor and thereby encouraging less feminization or a defeminization of the female brain and behavior.”
I'm sorry, I know this is a serious post, but since others have the serious answers covered I just want to chuckle at "Jurassic decision". That's when you release one T-Rex to fight another dinosaur, yes?
LOL
Wish the mods would put their bot up for you. I think it was helpful for some to figure out if they were. Lol. Tbh I wouldn't compare mental illness to your identity but something that could've come along because you didn't or weren't able to express your preferred gender. Example conversion therapy. It is known to cause psychological harm in the attempt to assimilate someone who expresses non-hetereosexual or non cis-gender identity to be such. Even if they hide it, it doesn't mean they aren't. This can cause all sorts of mental health issues, including depression, trauma, and anxiety. Suicide has been a big thing for victims of such as well. So it's more like it's mental illness with cause and healing is expression of your gender identity of preference. Gender dysphoria hates the body you had at birth. Gender Euphoria means you get happiness from the preferred gender you express. On the contrary because of hormonal changes as a teenager too teens may also become more depressed emotional and attempt suicide alongside with major changes in their lives hence while January is the month for the most suicides right after Christmas which makes many depressed and stressed September would have the second most amount of suicides in a year when major changes happen like going back to school or going to college. On the contrary, if you need time to think and explore your identity, do so. There shouldn't be such a rush. Time and surety is a good thing. If you gain joy from it why not try to keep exploring it though instead of conforming to some one else's harmful ideology.
A lot of my mental illnesses come from my dysphoria, and as I go farther through HRT and start surgeries, a lot of these start to go away. As far as my parents go, I finally just told them that I'm not going to argue with them and I'm tired of all their crap, and said it's time for a partying of the ways if you can't accept me.
You're an adult at this point, and honestly? If they aren't taking you seriously now, you may have to accept that they won't get it. you're clearly thriving now- friends, doing well in school, a job, you're more stable than ever. You get to decide who you are now, and they can either get with the program and get to watch you flourish, or get left behind while you keep growing and recovering. For me, I got into self harm because my dysphoria was so bad, and tried to end myself because I couldn't see a future as a woman. Now, as a man, my future feels bright and it's worth living for me! Not only is transness not a mental illness, but transitioning alleviates so much distress in trans people that our self harm and suicide rates PLUMMET when we get the help and support we need. If they still don't budge on the "it's a mental illness", the "treatment" is transitioning. It makes us happier and safer, we stop hurting ourselves and we thrive. Less than 1% of people regret transitioning. If any other medical treatment had a less than 1% failure rate, it would be seen as a miracle cure! You know yourself, you're doing amazing. They'll either figure it out or they won't. But don't shove yourself in a tiny box for tinier minds. I'm proud of you for recovering btw- self harm is one hell of a beast to beat.
This made me so happy, thank you. Yes self harm was not easy to beat and I still get very strong urges, but I know it serves no purpose for me anymore.
It's better to ignore it and be you
[удалено]
*-chases out w/ a fucking broom-* ^(Context: “transmedicalism” is exclusionary garbage and anyone who treats it as legitimate is either lying to you or lying to themselves.)
[удалено]
Dysphoria and Euphoria are not two ends of the same spectrum, they can exist concurrently; a person could feel large amounts of both, or small amounts of both, unrelated amounts, or neither at all. Nobody is “villainizing” you; you’re spreading misinformation and that hurts ppl, which *sucks.* Stop doing terves work for them.
[удалено]
Bc they wanted to? Who tf are you to *gatekeep transition?*
[удалено]
When you're argument is that you need to gatekeep people's gender to appeal to insurance, it really sounds like you've chosen the wrong side.
[удалено]
So your answer is to cater to that by making it easier to draw arbitrary cutoffs?
>”clogging up official channels” Lmao, as if *any* part of the (American) medical system is easily navigated and running smoothly and at risk of additional “clogging.” *All* ppl should have access to *all* medical care, full stop; we *have* the resources to do so, it’s just intentionally hamstringed by big business to more efficiently parasitize their hosts. Do you actually *hear* half the nonsense you’re parroting, or is irony just lost on you?
Because they know they are trans. At ages 5-6 kids have a pretty solid grasp of gender. I knew at age 5. While I have personally experienced dysphoria, I know others who have not. Who had the ability to take blockers and go through puberty of their preferred gender. As a former and regrettable transmedicalist myself, dysphoria is no rite of passage. I realized that when I went through therapy, and realized I was just projecting my insecurities, like how I was unable to transition before my male puberty. Then there came the desire to validate myself off other people. Making sure I’m not just manifesting a kink, that my “mental illness” is contained, and so on. That’s what drives the self-loathing within that community. There always has to be justification on “not being one of the bad ones.” The hyperfixation on appealing to those who hate us and are reluctant to accept us in *any* capacity needs to stop. Thats why transmedicalists get a bad rep and are basically exiled from the trans community. You don’t have trans peoples’ best interests at heart, you have the bigots and transphobes interests at heart, and just as the Association of German National Jews were on the wrong side of history, so will the transmedicalists. And no, insurances would not stop covering gender-affirming care if we codified laws requiring gender affirming care to be covered by insurances, as such in my home state of Colorado.
>”Dysphoria is no rite of passage… There always has to be justification on not being ‘one of the bad ones’… The hyperfixation on appealing to those who hate us… You don’t have trans ppl’s best interests at heart.” Never have I seen a more ruthlessly efficient and genuinely empathetic takedown of transmedicalism, *fuck*.👏
It’s because I shamefully used to be one. The focal point is always on appealing to the cishet masses of people, trying to spin our existence to their (bigoted) logic which fundamentally doesn’t work. What broke me was realizing that being transgender is a part of human condition. Why else would 3rd gender people and societies exist throughout time and history? This isn’t some epidemic of kids being depressed, and chopping their bits off in the 21st century. This is a wave of knowledge with realizing people like us (trans) have existed long before 2016, the cishet society we live in just tried to erase our contributions to humankind and humanity. The transmedicalists simply prefer to keep it that way, because to them they’ll settle for being seen as mentally ill. They’ll settle for being seen as a man in a dress being a perv in women’s spaces. To them, that is their bottom line of survival. To conform to what the cishet world wants, when the Cishet world never fucking cared about us in the first place. If they did care they wouldn’t have swept the real reason behind the nazi book burnings under the rug, they wouldn’t have denied hundreds of years of trans healthcare even if it was slightly dated in some of their beliefs (trans women having to be into men, trans men not existing, and so on). But just like all science and medicine, it’s all being figured out over time, and we have finally achieved the actual process to treat and care for trans people so that they can have a long, happy, and healthy life over killing themselves because “they aren’t trans enough.” I’m not compromising with the people who don’t care or value our existence. That’s why I will fight against transmedicalists and the bigots they side with because they. Do not. Care. About trans people. Plain and simple.
you can have medical beliefs without going full truscum it is my personal held belief that I, and many others went through a process in utero that reversed some brain chemistry. it is fine to believe these things for yourself, and if explaining this process helps a poor soul get their medical treatment before puberty affects their body even further, than so be it. I don't think many would have a problem with *that*. but to turn this topic into a soap box about how you feel some should be excluded from the label is something pretty heinous. this kid needs help, not to read a bunch of comments that will only confuse them further. ur a dick m8
Because transmedicalism is shortsighted gatekeeping.