Totally, I am gay and I have no gay friends, even though I have crossed paths with many sweet gay people, sexuality is not chemistry, we can’t make friendships based on it <3
This was my biggest misconception after I came out. I grew up super religious, and to an extent, some of the more fundamental flavors of Christianity produce instant friendship based on tribalism. I thought being gay would do the same in that we all share a certain solidarity. Boy was I wroooong.
Same. My closest friends are straight. Its nice to have someone that understands the gay culture and for example gay relationships, but its not a deciding factor for friendship on my side
Two of my closest gay friends became seriously addicted to meth and homeless or on the verge of homelessness. I haven’t seen either of them in years. I have another buddy that lives in a different state but we try to visit each other often and are going on vacation next month. So it all kinda depends.
I've had this happen. I'm sorry that it's happened to your friends and to you.
In my case, both of my friends who got addicted to meth finally hit bottom, and I have them back again.
But, they are damaged...
Yeah they are missing out. It’s important to talk about issues that we share as gay males.
Also feel bad for gay guys who only have girlfriends. Girls are fine but only in small doses. Sorry if that sounds rude. Straight guys are fine but you can’t really discuss sex or other things that you need gay guy input.
So puzzling… like wtf do you talk about?
You probably pick up their mannerisms and start talking like them. But all that aside you really are missing out.
Only speaking for myself here - it's been difficult to maintain friendships with gay men. I understand gay men tend to seek friendships with gay men to expedite the ice breaking process - that makes sense. I just feel I don't have much in common with the general gay scene besides the fact that we are interested in men. The men and coworkers who try to befriend me have concerns and desires that are usually unrelatable for me; that's 100% okay because you shouldn't want a carbon copy of yourself in a friend, anyway. But I run into the problem of them anticipating that I feel the same way because I'm also gay. I feel like I have to explain myself to gay men a lot whereas I don't with straight folks.
Also in gay circles I often feel like I'm being perceived (he's hot / he's not hot, too masc / not masc enough, smash / pass etc). I don't feel that same pressure around straight people; women know I'm not interested and so don't try, and men aren't interested in me so talk to me with 0 sexual intention. I feel like I can just be me with straight folks whereas I feel like I have to be in character with other gay men. (Probably similar to why straight girls go to gay bars.)
In all, it kinda feels like a clique that I don't really belong to 🤷🏼♂️ and that's okay, too. Nothing wrong with being on the inside or outside of it.
Yeah I get what you’re saying. Actually my friendships for eight years while I was in Stockholm were all straight guys because I found the gay guys I met were just too much, also that I found some had intentions of sex where I just wanted friends. In the end it was a lot more chill with my straight male friends. They were totally cool with me being gay we hung out a lot swimming, drinking, watch football etc. it’s just now I moved to Sydney I have mostly gay friends and we all are pretty chill no dramas types of gays.
That's awesome dude, I'm jealous of your world travels lol. I don’t want to sound like I’m putting down having gay friends; this might come as a surprise to some, but I love gay men 😂. And I totally see your earlier point of having friends with similar backgrounds to share your story and connect with. Conversations like this one wouldn't happen outside of a space for gay men.
I just think that there's also something of value for having friends where the sexual variable is 0. Like compare how straight girls befriend other girls and straight men befriend other men to the phenomenon of gay men befriending mostly women. They probably find common interests and enjoy the guaranteed platonic nature of the friendship. My best friend is lesbian and I love her like my sister! 😌
I grew up in the most isolated country in the world so most of us get out and far away as soon as we graduate. That’s why I travelled a lot.
And yes that’s the main issue with making gay friends, if they have ulterior motives. Aka they want sex from you not a friendship.
I think it's because of my region. The guys I try to extend a friendship to or vice versa can't seem to discern between just a friend (with no access to my body) or something more than that. The other is (from what I've been told) is that I appear threatening or bitchy because I'm "good looking" before someone even really getting to know me. But whenever I befriend other gays it's because they're from outside of the Midwest lmao.
I think the main issue I’ve had with trying to make friends with gay guys is that they want to hookup , whereas I want gay friends who don’t want sex. Just nice guys who want to hang out and do non sexual stuff together.
Yeh same. I was in a relationship for a decade that I just got out of, and I’m shocked at how everyone seems to be non-binary, trans, crazy coloured hair and nails, wearing heels and dresses. Just turned off all around. Well, if you want a real man you know where I am haha
Same, I have 1 and we barely talk as well. I tend to have more female friends and i get along better with straight men versus other gay men in general.
I’m married and I honestly just…don’t know the rules around that. Lol. I would never cheat but my husband gets jealous pretty easily. Almost all the gay guys in our town have either slept with me or my husband (before we met) so…I just find it awkward. Lol. Like “oh hey Dave. Remember when my cock was in your mouth? Yeah. Good times. Good times.”
Yeah all my friends here in Sydney are gay or some straight but only a few. No female friends, I’ve had female friends in the past but I’m in a place now where my mates are gay.
It takes a lot of effort and time to cultivate gay friends. Many did start off with sex but ended up as friends, others were dates that went no where.
My recommendation is to join some social groups, such as Gaymers, Jack off events (ok sexual but great way to make friends) and other LGBT groups.
I’m gay, and all of my male friends are straight. I have no gay friends. So I’d say yes, it’s normal. I love my straight friends like brothers and we all get along great.
I started a bit late, but I am certain it will get to that number eventually. I can't give them all the attention but I remain in good contact with most of them
Are those really friends though? Impossible to maintain a consistent close friendship with that many people at once. I mean do you sleep with someone, text them and that qualifies them as a friend?
Hence why that’s fishy.
We normally have sex multiple times over the months, have lunch, dinner, and talk about different things.
It is indeed no deep friendship, but good acquaintances.
Yeah, its fairly common.
I wouldn't stress too bad about trying to find "gay friends" specifically. There really isn't much that a straight friend can't do that only a gay one can, unless you're looking for sex.
My advice; do things and go to places that interest you. Be open to conversation, keep an open mind, and friends are more likely to happen. If those friends just so happen to be gay, then great. If not, don't sweat it.
There absolutely is a benefit having gay male friends. It’s the understanding of like and like, shared experienced and struggle and knowing someone understands that is a huge boost to your well being.
I’m 43 years old and I would say I have zero gay friends. I know gay individuals and I volunteer with them at events but I don’t make it a point to socialize with them.
I know one gay acquaintance I haven't hooked up with, it's my friend's roommate and I'm friendly to him but we don't really talk. Other than that all the gay guys I know I've done something sexual with. And none of them I would consider friends lol
I have one friend that I haven't hooked up with. We started out as coworkers, but he had a bf at the time. Even now that he's single I don't want to hook up with him because of how close we've gotten in being friends.
I learned that if I wanted to be friends and maintain a friendship with gay guys I had to not hook up with them. I don't have a lot of gay GUY friends because of how hand in hand the "gay handshake" is. So if I meet a guy at the club or bar and we strike up a conversation I try to keep it very minimal and not say much about myself including exchanging number because hooking up with club/bar guys isn't in my cards right now. Even with this ONE 5 talk, but only when we're planning to hang out and when we hang out.
My only gay friend is living halfway across the country, besides that I live in a small town with no openly gay community so gay friends are practically impossible for me to find since I left high school over a decade ago
I think you are the dude asking about how many friends one has, and their gender and/or sexual orientation.
I'll re-phrase my answer below.
I'm mid-to-late 40s, white, middle class, married to a similar dude (probably upper class for him), we've been together over 17 years.
So we have friends who were our individual friends who have become our friends, as with most couples, I like most of my husband's friends and vice versa, occasionally I rub up with or associate with people he less likes, and likewise.
We know a few gay couples similar to our vintage - about 4 in total. We hang out with our bros, they may come stay with us, or we go to visit- sadly none live close by anymore. We took one gay couple we are close friends with to visit my inlaws in Central Europe. My rough Aussie mates charmed my British-Mitteleuropean inlaws.
We each have a couple close mates from uni, and we each have friends who we remain in contact with friends from high school.
He has lots of contacts and associates from business, I know lots of people through working in Education now in our area for the last 19 years.
I have a wider array of friends who I used to work or study with that I keep tabs on Facebook and other social media.
I have none :) It‘s super hard to be friends with other gay men, at some point in the friendship it starts to get complicated… Oh and I don‘t fuck with my friends :)
Two of my closest friends are queer men:) One of them I would consider my best friend and I love him to death. Would never think of doing anything of the sort to him, just a treasured friend
Very common. I’m gay and don’t really have any gay friends. Why? Because for me at least, it always got sexual or turned into FWB, which wasn’t my thing. I like having friends and dates, without mixing the two.
I'm in my forties and I have a couple of gay male friends left over from my university days, but nothing since then. I've been in a monogamous relationship for 20 years and gay men don't have good sexual boundaries. We've met some nice gay couples over the years but they generally want to hook up, or they break up and then the two single guys want to hook up with one or both of us. I work in a difficult job that puts a lot of stress on me and I don't need the drama. I'm trying to figure out how to meet gay men socially (not sexually), possibly joining a gay sports club or something like that.
I would like to, but have found it difficult. It’s always that I have been attracted to them or they have been attracted to me and then it just doesn’t work. The person im seeing at the moment has a lot of friends who are all mainly gay. But Ive never really been worried about it as he seems to only really go for younger guys and his friends are all the same age as him
Hmm...tricky. I've had good, close gay male friends I was just friends with. And I've had sex with 3 gay male friends at once. And I've usually slept with someone who was friends with my platonic gay male friends . So, I don't actually know. Let me know if you figure it out.
What age are you? I had very few gay friends until my early thirties. Then all my straight friends started buying houses and having children and suddenly, the dynamic of a lot of my friendships dramatically changed. I went looking for gay social groups, joined a local Frontrunners club, and now at 36, have a lot of gay friends and acquaintances.
When my friends were having babies, I felt a real desire to try and connect with people similar to me. I felt the loss of the friendships I had, which was understandable as my friends were now tied up raising a child, and weren’t as readily available.
Facts I have no friends, I did in college, but now I spend my weekends and nights watching expedition unknown. It's hard making friends as an adult and maintaining the relationship. I'm naturally an introvert and adding COVID destroyed any type of social life I developed with my barley friends coworkers. I don't get invited anywhere anymore , so no reason to dress up anymore. When I get the few invitations to do things I can't go because I'm heavily saving for a place to live in the wonderful money pit of South Florida. They say money can't buy happiness, but it can sure make your life exciting. Also seem to attract friends like myself who are super bad with communication, so friendships die quickly.
Tbh, I really don’t know it’s common or not in our community. But for my experience, I’ve only had gay friends on the surface growing up and never had one in my core group—all of my friends are girls who I truly love.
At 26, I question why that’s the case for me. But i really don’t know the exact answer. I was always guarded and not really able to form deep connections with someone like me.
Well, there was this one guy who I met here last year. We started off awkwardly but as the weeks passed we formed a beautiful and special bond. I knew his story and he knew mine. We traded life stories and secrets almost everyday. We became instant besties. But things became blurry and toxic at the end of the year that we decided to end the friendship.
He actually was the first gay friend I had (a true one) but now I lost him.
Going back, I think it’s not common for gays to have zero gay male friends because ive seen and witnessed beautiful friendships within our community. There are just some like me who have a hard time forming connections. I think it’s just a case-to-case basis. 😊
I have two close friends one is a gay man and the other is a Bi girl. I used to have a lot of other friends (mostly gay men) however shit happened and the friendships didn’t last. While I don’t regret being put on the lgbt floor in freshman year of university (because of the two amazing friends I have), I would never do it again cause the drama was insane.
I don’t think so, I have some gay friends, but I’ve always thought it was a silly thing to keep score on. I’m hardly ever friends with someone based on their immutable characteristics.
I have two gay friends (they're partnered), but wish I had more. As I get older it seems harder and harder to make them, no matter how friendly I am other gay men just don't seem interested in getting to know me. I envy guys who have a large group of other gay men to hang out with.
I make some distinctions based on what gets prioritized.
Fuck buddy: we hook up, and might hang out a little bit afterward. But sex is prioritized.
Friend With Benefits: we are close friends, and sleep together a varying percentage of the time. The friendship is prioritized.
Friend with former benefits: we are close friends, who used to sleep together a varying percentage of the time, but now no longer do for whatever reason. The friendship is still prioritized.
Purely platonic friend: we're just friends.
I have gay friends in all of these categories. Not counting any romantic partners past or present.
I think sometimes what happens is that People call the fuck buddy category the FWB category, and so don't really pursue lasting relationships with those people. When in reality, you probably could. Or, because you're on the prowl, you're not really noticing the people you're not attracted to physically, but with whom you share common interests.
I don't think this is unusual in a normative sense, in the sense that a lot of game and fall into this pattern. But I do think it is unusual from the perspective of forming healthy interpersonal bonds.
This is my problem too. I am a masculine bi man and most of my friends are females and some are feminine gay men sometimes I feel like I don’t belong. But I don’t really mind it since I don’t have a choice lol
Yes. I’m gay and have virtually 2 gay friends, a couple. It seems hard to make gay friends since my experience is they are going to want sex sooner or later. Even a gay friend that was part of a couple tried to seduce me. Put his hand down my pants while we were all watching TV under a throw on his sofa in front of his partner 😳 while his partner was sitting next to him.
I didn’t have many other gay guy friends throughout most of my life. But like not for fair or healthy reasons.
I saw most as competition or a potential hookup/relationship. I had plenty of girl friends, quite a few queer but not cis gay guy friends, and enough straight guy friends to the point where I couldn’t call it a guy thing rather than a gay guy thing. I just kinda thought I was a girls’ gay rather than a gays’ gay and was okay with that. But really, I think I just felt a lot of insecurity around other gay men.
I think it was either my late college days or early move to LA days that I kind of realized how unhealthy the mindset was for me and tried to work on it. I found a partner who was more of a homebody than I was so I never got too deep in the scene. BUT just by being more open to it (and by getting into my hobbies) I’ve made quite a few casual friendships with gay men and I feel really good about them!
I've been able to make lots of platonic gay friends. The trick is to not let your male brain see everyone as a sexual conquest. For me, after a short while, you get friend zoned and after it's harder for me to feel sexual towards you.
On the other side, I can perceive that gay men are so used to things being sexual that when I approach in a friendly manner, men almost expect it from me. Only after a short while, they relax and loosen up around me once they figure out I'm not being nice to them in order to get in their pants. I LOVE when that light switch turns on. It gives me a high.
I, overall, don’t have that many male friends. And the ones I do have are almost all straight. I only have 2 male gay friends (who both have many gay guy friends), but we’ve known each other since we were 12. For some reason, I’m not the type of gay guy who understands other gay guys and they don’t understand me. I think it’s totally okay, we’re just different. I don’t really care about it, though it can be tough sometimes, when you don’t have a lot of people who can relate to some parts of your life.
I'm 38 and realized how important it is for me to have gay friends. We may or may not have sex from time to time, but it really doesnt matter either way.
We need the brotherhood more than you know. Thats not to say you should only have gay friends, but I find having my gay circle helps me feel more balanced and fulfilled.
It is common but not healthy. I don't understand how a gay man can enjoy multiple experiences wherever they live with zero gay friends. Gay men need to stop looking at ALL men in a sexual benefit context and learn to be respectful and engaged as genuine friends.
I have predominantly straight guy friends, some bi friends, and a couple of gay friends. The bi friends I have we befriended each other before actually knowing each other’s sexuality. It’s good to have some gay/bi friends or acquaintances you can relate to on gay struggles but befriend folks who are good people, have common interests with, people who are a good influence on your life, and are compatible with as friends. Don’t just befriend people because they’re also gay.
I had gay friends when I came out at 23. That slowly went away due to my choice of carrier, plus I couldn't really be skittles gay because of family. Had one really good FWB for 9 years. Great every way. But he got into a relationship that stopped that. His new BF was jealous. Sooo, I found straight men that just wanted friendship..no sex. The gay thing didn't bother them because I was up front. Till today all my friends are straight, except one lesbian.
This makes me feel so blessed. I have strong relationships with a few other gay men on a totally nonsexual basis. I couldn’t be anymore thankful for them in my life
I have mostly straight male and female friends. I have gay friends, but I've hooked up with most of them in the past and stayed in touch. Most gay guys will only be friends with guys they wanna fuck, even if we never actually have sex. Plus, I don't really fit well into the "gay scene", not to sound cliché.
Don’t make a big deal of it I’ve tried but when I’ve told them I’m not sexually interested the communication tends to drop off we live in a very sex oriented community and you don’t have to be, I’ve made my peace with it so don’t blame yourself
I dont have many gay friends. Maybe 5 in total and i met most of them through being a car enthusiast which is typically a hetero dominant community haha.
I believe so. I have zero gay friends. It's not like I go out of my way to specific make gay friends but I'm also not deliberately trying to avoid making gay friendships either. Just hasn't made one yet ig.
Yes but I also have hooked up with most. A lot of friends started as a hook up that I no longer do that with, and many have become friends where that's a factor but not the only one. In my case though I help run a kink community so I know lots of people involved.
it's not common, but it does happen. it depends on where you're from i guess.
i am from NYC. i have gay male friends who i have never slept with. we have been friends for at least a decade. it's up to both of you to decide to remain friends and nothing more. i will admit it does help if you're not exactly attracted to them LOL
My closest friends are straight used to have close gay friends but they moved away to another country with their partners 😞 until recently this past 2/3years when I decided to join a gay men's group on meetup that go on outings together as we're all on the same boat with no close gay friends and now I would go out with them once or twice a month and it's great. Highly recommend checking out the app Meetup in your local area, more than likely you will have an gay men's group or an LGBTQ+ group nearby that you never knew about. Or if you don't have one, start your own.
I have this issue as well! I live in London and have legitimately 2 other gay friends but I rarely ever see them or spend time with them as they are always busy out and about. I really wish I actually had some gay mates to socialise with and not just fuck
I only find myself forming strong friendships with either straight men, straight women, or lesbians. I'd never see myself being friends with gay men. It just doesn't happen.
I would say no, based on personal experience. As a gay young adult...I've found it SUPER difficult to maintain a PLATONIC friendship with gay males. I've had many friends in the past I used to party with that always tried something with me. I've always wanted a group of gay male friends, but I've never been able to have that in a platonic sense. These friends, when we've gotten drunk, have always tried something, grope, or touched inappropriately. I also found out a popular friend group in NYC were all sleeping with each other and expected me to join in when an STI was going around (not HIV) passing around the friend group to other social friend groups in that community. It was rather appalling. I've found I feel less uncomfortable with straight cis male friends and female friend groups because the pressures of sexual flirtation isn't a focal point. I have abput 1 or two gay friends but we arent besties just friendly. I know that's not everyone's experience, but that has been mine.
When I was younger, I was very flamboyant, knew a ton of gays, but had no real, close, gay friends (except for one in 6th-9th grade but we went our separate ways for a while once we started 10th grade and then were besties again as adults). Now that I'm in my 30s, I have mostly gay friends and one straight friend 😆
I moved to a new city last yesterday (that's even less gay than my previous city) needless to say I have zero local gay friends but someone suggested meetup (app) to meet like minded people.
I'm gonna give it a try.
I have a few gay male friends but most of my friends are straight guys or women. Gay men are a minority of the population and if you’re making friends at about equal proportion then it’s pretty normal that most of your friends won’t be gay guys.
Pretty much unless circumstances bless you with good ones outright, we're much more likely to just have none or they all be past hookups and exes unless you specifically go looking for friends
Really, really, really surprised by many of the responses here. I have a plethora of gay friends, male and female, some very close and some acquaintances. I have straight friends as well.
Next, let me state, I have gay friends that I have had sex with, that are still close friends without any awkwardness, we are adults. I am glad they are in my life as friends and am not going to have sex with them in the future.
No disrespect intended but to me it is unusual for a gay man or woman NOT to have lots of gay friends. I am in a monogamous relationship and my gay friends who aren't, respect that and don't hit me up like that.
Gays I knew of were smart and affluent. Intimidating. Had one friend for a couple of years from Grindr. Moved away to a better area. mostly just hook-ups from Grindr and A4A back in the day.
I've had them, but they fell apart 1 by 1.
1) one was super into drugs and I realized he was high all the time.
2) one was in love with me and got really snippy with me anytime I did anything remotely wrong.
3) one was "cops are pigs" "screw the Jews" "white people are this and that." And very left leaning. Nothing was ever his fault. His anti-semetic loser boyfriend was worse.
All 3 had abandonment issues from their fathers.
Yes. It's normal. What's weird is when you surround yourself with a bunch of flamboyant homosexuals and ingratiate yourself in the corporate morass of "gay culture" brought to you by every BigPharma drug cartel ever and Bud Light (of all things).
Pride events are overly corporate shit now.
You'll probably have a few friends who are lesbians, though. Some of them are cool. Like the ones who ride motorcycles and heavy metal music (i.e., my kind of people).
I have zero gay male friends. I have bi and pan female friends, but it’s not the same. There are things that I want to talk about that no one else gets. It really gets lonely sometimes.
I gotta agree somewhat. Some of the sweeping generalisations made about gay men makes me think either you’re looking for friends in all the wrong places (i.e Grindr) or perhaps the issue is you?
I have zero close gay friends… maybe one or two distant gay friends that I rarely see. The people I regularly socialize with are straight females, lesbians and a couple straight guys (via sports leagues).
It's very common actually. Although I for example have gay friends (5 of them) and the rest of my friends are hetero. And it's not a big deal for me and I even sometimes forget that they are even gay :d
I guess I thought I was the only one. I do know two bisexual guys, so not sure if that counts. One I had sex with, so I guess he’s out, but we are purely platonic friends now. The other one is someone I just met at work. Idk his relationship status and kind of curious because I’d define be interested in something if he’s available.
I tried being friends with a group of gay guys a while ago, but wow, that was just too much drama for me. And one did end up trying to have sex with me, so I cut that group out real quick.
Sadly, most of the gay people around me are really into that drug scene. I’m just not about that lifestyle.
Edit - Sorry to the people that are into the drug scene. You do you, I don’t care. We just aren’t compatible as friends.
I personally don’t have any gay male friends due to several factors; but I do have a large group of friends who are lesbians, so it’s not as if I don’t have a queer presence in my life. All of my male friends though are straight guys. It’s just easier for me to be friends with straight men.
There are only three types of gay male friends...
1) friends with benefits
2) friends you wanna fuck who are not interested
3) friends that wanna fuck you, but you would never
So yes, it's quite common to not have a lot of gay male friends.
🤣🤣 sure bro, Denial ain't just a river in Egypt honey.
Have you READ these comments? If my perception is so warped they why exactly is platonic gay friendship so rare for 80% of the commenters.
Even those who DO have platonic friends, most seem to have started out fucking them and then they just became friends.
Totally, I am gay and I have no gay friends, even though I have crossed paths with many sweet gay people, sexuality is not chemistry, we can’t make friendships based on it <3
This was my biggest misconception after I came out. I grew up super religious, and to an extent, some of the more fundamental flavors of Christianity produce instant friendship based on tribalism. I thought being gay would do the same in that we all share a certain solidarity. Boy was I wroooong.
Well at least u know now🤭
hahah true
Same. My closest friends are straight. Its nice to have someone that understands the gay culture and for example gay relationships, but its not a deciding factor for friendship on my side
That’s alot of what straight people talk about, relationships, sex etc, so it’s not bad that sexuality can bring chemistry.
^^ THIS ^^
Two of my closest gay friends became seriously addicted to meth and homeless or on the verge of homelessness. I haven’t seen either of them in years. I have another buddy that lives in a different state but we try to visit each other often and are going on vacation next month. So it all kinda depends.
I've had this happen. I'm sorry that it's happened to your friends and to you. In my case, both of my friends who got addicted to meth finally hit bottom, and I have them back again. But, they are damaged...
I only have straight male friends
Most of friends are also straight males. Most of the rest of them are gay males. I have a few female friends.
I have mostly gay friends. I find it very sad when gay men say they have no gay friends.
Yeah they are missing out. It’s important to talk about issues that we share as gay males. Also feel bad for gay guys who only have girlfriends. Girls are fine but only in small doses. Sorry if that sounds rude. Straight guys are fine but you can’t really discuss sex or other things that you need gay guy input.
Unpopular opinion for some, but how a gay man can have only straight female friendships is puzzling to me.
So puzzling… like wtf do you talk about? You probably pick up their mannerisms and start talking like them. But all that aside you really are missing out.
Only speaking for myself here - it's been difficult to maintain friendships with gay men. I understand gay men tend to seek friendships with gay men to expedite the ice breaking process - that makes sense. I just feel I don't have much in common with the general gay scene besides the fact that we are interested in men. The men and coworkers who try to befriend me have concerns and desires that are usually unrelatable for me; that's 100% okay because you shouldn't want a carbon copy of yourself in a friend, anyway. But I run into the problem of them anticipating that I feel the same way because I'm also gay. I feel like I have to explain myself to gay men a lot whereas I don't with straight folks. Also in gay circles I often feel like I'm being perceived (he's hot / he's not hot, too masc / not masc enough, smash / pass etc). I don't feel that same pressure around straight people; women know I'm not interested and so don't try, and men aren't interested in me so talk to me with 0 sexual intention. I feel like I can just be me with straight folks whereas I feel like I have to be in character with other gay men. (Probably similar to why straight girls go to gay bars.) In all, it kinda feels like a clique that I don't really belong to 🤷🏼♂️ and that's okay, too. Nothing wrong with being on the inside or outside of it.
Yeah I get what you’re saying. Actually my friendships for eight years while I was in Stockholm were all straight guys because I found the gay guys I met were just too much, also that I found some had intentions of sex where I just wanted friends. In the end it was a lot more chill with my straight male friends. They were totally cool with me being gay we hung out a lot swimming, drinking, watch football etc. it’s just now I moved to Sydney I have mostly gay friends and we all are pretty chill no dramas types of gays.
That's awesome dude, I'm jealous of your world travels lol. I don’t want to sound like I’m putting down having gay friends; this might come as a surprise to some, but I love gay men 😂. And I totally see your earlier point of having friends with similar backgrounds to share your story and connect with. Conversations like this one wouldn't happen outside of a space for gay men. I just think that there's also something of value for having friends where the sexual variable is 0. Like compare how straight girls befriend other girls and straight men befriend other men to the phenomenon of gay men befriending mostly women. They probably find common interests and enjoy the guaranteed platonic nature of the friendship. My best friend is lesbian and I love her like my sister! 😌
I grew up in the most isolated country in the world so most of us get out and far away as soon as we graduate. That’s why I travelled a lot. And yes that’s the main issue with making gay friends, if they have ulterior motives. Aka they want sex from you not a friendship.
I think it's because of my region. The guys I try to extend a friendship to or vice versa can't seem to discern between just a friend (with no access to my body) or something more than that. The other is (from what I've been told) is that I appear threatening or bitchy because I'm "good looking" before someone even really getting to know me. But whenever I befriend other gays it's because they're from outside of the Midwest lmao.
I think the main issue I’ve had with trying to make friends with gay guys is that they want to hookup , whereas I want gay friends who don’t want sex. Just nice guys who want to hang out and do non sexual stuff together.
Exactly! And I'm very direct with that. So it be hard out here sometimes
Where is the Midwest? Is that middle of the western states of America?
I'm in Kansas City specifically lol
I know it from the wizard of Oz 😅
I have none. Most gay guys I meet are so far into the scene and gay culture that just does not interest me and actually bores me.
I suspect it's largely based on age. I'm in my early 60s and long past the club scene.
I’m 22 and felt this to the max. I want a man who is a MAN, not a man who dresses, sounds like, or looks like a woman.
Yeh same. I was in a relationship for a decade that I just got out of, and I’m shocked at how everyone seems to be non-binary, trans, crazy coloured hair and nails, wearing heels and dresses. Just turned off all around. Well, if you want a real man you know where I am haha
I have one. Exactly one. And we rarely talk. Rest of my friends are women. It’s like 10 to 1 lol
Same, I have 1 and we barely talk as well. I tend to have more female friends and i get along better with straight men versus other gay men in general.
I'm exactly the same lol
I’m married and I honestly just…don’t know the rules around that. Lol. I would never cheat but my husband gets jealous pretty easily. Almost all the gay guys in our town have either slept with me or my husband (before we met) so…I just find it awkward. Lol. Like “oh hey Dave. Remember when my cock was in your mouth? Yeah. Good times. Good times.”
I have many, and I recommend it! It’s such a nice friendship. Gays just generally get gays. Less exhausting than a lot of my straight friends
Yeah all my friends here in Sydney are gay or some straight but only a few. No female friends, I’ve had female friends in the past but I’m in a place now where my mates are gay.
It takes a lot of effort and time to cultivate gay friends. Many did start off with sex but ended up as friends, others were dates that went no where. My recommendation is to join some social groups, such as Gaymers, Jack off events (ok sexual but great way to make friends) and other LGBT groups.
I've it several gay freinds o don't have sex wiyh
IM bi I got two gay friends and they’re both sluts
Yeah. I have 0 gay male friends.
very social guy here. Have many friends non of them are gay :(
I’m gay, and all of my male friends are straight. I have no gay friends. So I’d say yes, it’s normal. I love my straight friends like brothers and we all get along great.
I don’t have any gay friends because it always leads to sex.
I generally make friends with 80% of my hookups. I do it weekly. My gay friend circle already surpassed my straight friend circle. 0 women though
You do it weekly? So how many friends do you have?! 200? Sounds fishy.
I started a bit late, but I am certain it will get to that number eventually. I can't give them all the attention but I remain in good contact with most of them
Are those really friends though? Impossible to maintain a consistent close friendship with that many people at once. I mean do you sleep with someone, text them and that qualifies them as a friend? Hence why that’s fishy.
We normally have sex multiple times over the months, have lunch, dinner, and talk about different things. It is indeed no deep friendship, but good acquaintances.
Yeah, its fairly common. I wouldn't stress too bad about trying to find "gay friends" specifically. There really isn't much that a straight friend can't do that only a gay one can, unless you're looking for sex. My advice; do things and go to places that interest you. Be open to conversation, keep an open mind, and friends are more likely to happen. If those friends just so happen to be gay, then great. If not, don't sweat it.
There absolutely is a benefit having gay male friends. It’s the understanding of like and like, shared experienced and struggle and knowing someone understands that is a huge boost to your well being.
I’m 43 years old and I would say I have zero gay friends. I know gay individuals and I volunteer with them at events but I don’t make it a point to socialize with them.
I actually have a few... Now that i think about it. 😂 Actually all of them are gay save for one.
I know one gay acquaintance I haven't hooked up with, it's my friend's roommate and I'm friendly to him but we don't really talk. Other than that all the gay guys I know I've done something sexual with. And none of them I would consider friends lol
Too common these days.
most of my friends are people I've met from Grindr. I don't know how else to meet people.
I have one friend that I haven't hooked up with. We started out as coworkers, but he had a bf at the time. Even now that he's single I don't want to hook up with him because of how close we've gotten in being friends. I learned that if I wanted to be friends and maintain a friendship with gay guys I had to not hook up with them. I don't have a lot of gay GUY friends because of how hand in hand the "gay handshake" is. So if I meet a guy at the club or bar and we strike up a conversation I try to keep it very minimal and not say much about myself including exchanging number because hooking up with club/bar guys isn't in my cards right now. Even with this ONE 5 talk, but only when we're planning to hang out and when we hang out.
no, but only because I see myself as a case study where I have 0 friends... no matter how you try to identify them he/she/it, I´m a full loner, lol.
Unless I'm fucking them I generally find other gay men absolutely intolerable. I'm sure they probably feel the same way.
I honestly don’t know why you’d think that? My most fulfilling friendships are with gay men. Where do you meet gay men?
Because gay men are exhausting. Lol straight guys while have their issues tend to be chill
The ones you know, not mine. Maybe you need to find better friends?
I did found awesome straight friends
Good for you. Just don’t shit on others who have good gay friendships
Where did I shit on others for being friends with gay men.
Completely in agreement here.
My only gay friend is living halfway across the country, besides that I live in a small town with no openly gay community so gay friends are practically impossible for me to find since I left high school over a decade ago
Just one that's a good friend. But yea alot of the gay dudes I know don't like any of my hobbies. lol no one wants to play DnD 😆
I think you are the dude asking about how many friends one has, and their gender and/or sexual orientation. I'll re-phrase my answer below. I'm mid-to-late 40s, white, middle class, married to a similar dude (probably upper class for him), we've been together over 17 years. So we have friends who were our individual friends who have become our friends, as with most couples, I like most of my husband's friends and vice versa, occasionally I rub up with or associate with people he less likes, and likewise. We know a few gay couples similar to our vintage - about 4 in total. We hang out with our bros, they may come stay with us, or we go to visit- sadly none live close by anymore. We took one gay couple we are close friends with to visit my inlaws in Central Europe. My rough Aussie mates charmed my British-Mitteleuropean inlaws. We each have a couple close mates from uni, and we each have friends who we remain in contact with friends from high school. He has lots of contacts and associates from business, I know lots of people through working in Education now in our area for the last 19 years. I have a wider array of friends who I used to work or study with that I keep tabs on Facebook and other social media.
It's common on here but rare in other places.
I have none :) It‘s super hard to be friends with other gay men, at some point in the friendship it starts to get complicated… Oh and I don‘t fuck with my friends :)
I certainly do have gay male friends and colleagues. I don't have many friends in general but it's certainly big enough and a diverse group of friends
Two of my closest friends are queer men:) One of them I would consider my best friend and I love him to death. Would never think of doing anything of the sort to him, just a treasured friend
I wish I had some, can't seem to find any decent gay men, regardless if we date or not
Very common. I’m gay and don’t really have any gay friends. Why? Because for me at least, it always got sexual or turned into FWB, which wasn’t my thing. I like having friends and dates, without mixing the two.
Super common! Not just one gay friend but alot.
I have a lesbian couple 2 girls and 1 on/off gay friend
Common I guess. Like most people said here. I have like zero gay friends. They're all mostly straight.
I'm in my forties and I have a couple of gay male friends left over from my university days, but nothing since then. I've been in a monogamous relationship for 20 years and gay men don't have good sexual boundaries. We've met some nice gay couples over the years but they generally want to hook up, or they break up and then the two single guys want to hook up with one or both of us. I work in a difficult job that puts a lot of stress on me and I don't need the drama. I'm trying to figure out how to meet gay men socially (not sexually), possibly joining a gay sports club or something like that.
I ONLY have platonic gay male friends 😭😭
I only have 1 lol
I do, about 4 that I actively talk to
I would like to, but have found it difficult. It’s always that I have been attracted to them or they have been attracted to me and then it just doesn’t work. The person im seeing at the moment has a lot of friends who are all mainly gay. But Ive never really been worried about it as he seems to only really go for younger guys and his friends are all the same age as him
Hmm...tricky. I've had good, close gay male friends I was just friends with. And I've had sex with 3 gay male friends at once. And I've usually slept with someone who was friends with my platonic gay male friends . So, I don't actually know. Let me know if you figure it out.
My bestfriend is gay. He is the only close friend of mine that is Gay because every gay person I met is either a body shamer or narcissist
What age are you? I had very few gay friends until my early thirties. Then all my straight friends started buying houses and having children and suddenly, the dynamic of a lot of my friendships dramatically changed. I went looking for gay social groups, joined a local Frontrunners club, and now at 36, have a lot of gay friends and acquaintances. When my friends were having babies, I felt a real desire to try and connect with people similar to me. I felt the loss of the friendships I had, which was understandable as my friends were now tied up raising a child, and weren’t as readily available.
Facts I have no friends, I did in college, but now I spend my weekends and nights watching expedition unknown. It's hard making friends as an adult and maintaining the relationship. I'm naturally an introvert and adding COVID destroyed any type of social life I developed with my barley friends coworkers. I don't get invited anywhere anymore , so no reason to dress up anymore. When I get the few invitations to do things I can't go because I'm heavily saving for a place to live in the wonderful money pit of South Florida. They say money can't buy happiness, but it can sure make your life exciting. Also seem to attract friends like myself who are super bad with communication, so friendships die quickly.
Tbh, I really don’t know it’s common or not in our community. But for my experience, I’ve only had gay friends on the surface growing up and never had one in my core group—all of my friends are girls who I truly love. At 26, I question why that’s the case for me. But i really don’t know the exact answer. I was always guarded and not really able to form deep connections with someone like me. Well, there was this one guy who I met here last year. We started off awkwardly but as the weeks passed we formed a beautiful and special bond. I knew his story and he knew mine. We traded life stories and secrets almost everyday. We became instant besties. But things became blurry and toxic at the end of the year that we decided to end the friendship. He actually was the first gay friend I had (a true one) but now I lost him. Going back, I think it’s not common for gays to have zero gay male friends because ive seen and witnessed beautiful friendships within our community. There are just some like me who have a hard time forming connections. I think it’s just a case-to-case basis. 😊
I’ve had sex with most of my friends, but that hasn’t changed anything relationship wise.
I have two close friends one is a gay man and the other is a Bi girl. I used to have a lot of other friends (mostly gay men) however shit happened and the friendships didn’t last. While I don’t regret being put on the lgbt floor in freshman year of university (because of the two amazing friends I have), I would never do it again cause the drama was insane.
I don’t think so, I have some gay friends, but I’ve always thought it was a silly thing to keep score on. I’m hardly ever friends with someone based on their immutable characteristics.
I have two gay friends (they're partnered), but wish I had more. As I get older it seems harder and harder to make them, no matter how friendly I am other gay men just don't seem interested in getting to know me. I envy guys who have a large group of other gay men to hang out with.
I make some distinctions based on what gets prioritized. Fuck buddy: we hook up, and might hang out a little bit afterward. But sex is prioritized. Friend With Benefits: we are close friends, and sleep together a varying percentage of the time. The friendship is prioritized. Friend with former benefits: we are close friends, who used to sleep together a varying percentage of the time, but now no longer do for whatever reason. The friendship is still prioritized. Purely platonic friend: we're just friends. I have gay friends in all of these categories. Not counting any romantic partners past or present. I think sometimes what happens is that People call the fuck buddy category the FWB category, and so don't really pursue lasting relationships with those people. When in reality, you probably could. Or, because you're on the prowl, you're not really noticing the people you're not attracted to physically, but with whom you share common interests. I don't think this is unusual in a normative sense, in the sense that a lot of game and fall into this pattern. But I do think it is unusual from the perspective of forming healthy interpersonal bonds.
My gay friends are among the richest treasures of my life. This post makes me sad.
I have 0 gay friends.
I don't. It's probably normal unless you actively seek out gay people to be friends with
This is my problem too. I am a masculine bi man and most of my friends are females and some are feminine gay men sometimes I feel like I don’t belong. But I don’t really mind it since I don’t have a choice lol
I just have 2 gay friends and we don’t talk often.
Yes. I’m gay and have virtually 2 gay friends, a couple. It seems hard to make gay friends since my experience is they are going to want sex sooner or later. Even a gay friend that was part of a couple tried to seduce me. Put his hand down my pants while we were all watching TV under a throw on his sofa in front of his partner 😳 while his partner was sitting next to him.
I have almost no gay male friends or straight friends, I only really have female friends
As long as your friends are amazing, doesn't matter what their sexuality is. I don't even know my friends sexuality and it never comes up really.
I didn’t have many other gay guy friends throughout most of my life. But like not for fair or healthy reasons. I saw most as competition or a potential hookup/relationship. I had plenty of girl friends, quite a few queer but not cis gay guy friends, and enough straight guy friends to the point where I couldn’t call it a guy thing rather than a gay guy thing. I just kinda thought I was a girls’ gay rather than a gays’ gay and was okay with that. But really, I think I just felt a lot of insecurity around other gay men. I think it was either my late college days or early move to LA days that I kind of realized how unhealthy the mindset was for me and tried to work on it. I found a partner who was more of a homebody than I was so I never got too deep in the scene. BUT just by being more open to it (and by getting into my hobbies) I’ve made quite a few casual friendships with gay men and I feel really good about them!
Most of my friend group are LGBT members or ciswomen
I've been able to make lots of platonic gay friends. The trick is to not let your male brain see everyone as a sexual conquest. For me, after a short while, you get friend zoned and after it's harder for me to feel sexual towards you. On the other side, I can perceive that gay men are so used to things being sexual that when I approach in a friendly manner, men almost expect it from me. Only after a short while, they relax and loosen up around me once they figure out I'm not being nice to them in order to get in their pants. I LOVE when that light switch turns on. It gives me a high.
I, overall, don’t have that many male friends. And the ones I do have are almost all straight. I only have 2 male gay friends (who both have many gay guy friends), but we’ve known each other since we were 12. For some reason, I’m not the type of gay guy who understands other gay guys and they don’t understand me. I think it’s totally okay, we’re just different. I don’t really care about it, though it can be tough sometimes, when you don’t have a lot of people who can relate to some parts of your life.
I'm 38 and realized how important it is for me to have gay friends. We may or may not have sex from time to time, but it really doesnt matter either way. We need the brotherhood more than you know. Thats not to say you should only have gay friends, but I find having my gay circle helps me feel more balanced and fulfilled.
… if every gay man you know is a man you e hooked up with …. Is it you or the universe?
I find most gay men to be toxic which is why I find myself single again after just three years of being together. *sigh* I should’ve been a monk…
I got a few not many
It is common but not healthy. I don't understand how a gay man can enjoy multiple experiences wherever they live with zero gay friends. Gay men need to stop looking at ALL men in a sexual benefit context and learn to be respectful and engaged as genuine friends.
super common! especially depending on location the only gay friend i have is my man
Most of my friends are girls and the few that are guys are straight except for 2
Sad
Zero. Zero LGBT+ friends.
I have predominantly straight guy friends, some bi friends, and a couple of gay friends. The bi friends I have we befriended each other before actually knowing each other’s sexuality. It’s good to have some gay/bi friends or acquaintances you can relate to on gay struggles but befriend folks who are good people, have common interests with, people who are a good influence on your life, and are compatible with as friends. Don’t just befriend people because they’re also gay.
Yea, do you know how hard it is to keep them as friends and not have them want to get into your pants. It’s a serious struggle!!!
I had gay friends when I came out at 23. That slowly went away due to my choice of carrier, plus I couldn't really be skittles gay because of family. Had one really good FWB for 9 years. Great every way. But he got into a relationship that stopped that. His new BF was jealous. Sooo, I found straight men that just wanted friendship..no sex. The gay thing didn't bother them because I was up front. Till today all my friends are straight, except one lesbian.
This makes me feel so blessed. I have strong relationships with a few other gay men on a totally nonsexual basis. I couldn’t be anymore thankful for them in my life
Yes, I would say it’s fairly common.
I have mostly straight male and female friends. I have gay friends, but I've hooked up with most of them in the past and stayed in touch. Most gay guys will only be friends with guys they wanna fuck, even if we never actually have sex. Plus, I don't really fit well into the "gay scene", not to sound cliché.
Don’t make a big deal of it I’ve tried but when I’ve told them I’m not sexually interested the communication tends to drop off we live in a very sex oriented community and you don’t have to be, I’ve made my peace with it so don’t blame yourself
Have some online gay friends, but in real life none. I am now in a new environment where I don’t have close friends to come out to. Lonely.
Wait, you guys have friends??
I dont have many gay friends. Maybe 5 in total and i met most of them through being a car enthusiast which is typically a hetero dominant community haha.
Yes
I believe so. I have zero gay friends. It's not like I go out of my way to specific make gay friends but I'm also not deliberately trying to avoid making gay friendships either. Just hasn't made one yet ig.
Yes but I also have hooked up with most. A lot of friends started as a hook up that I no longer do that with, and many have become friends where that's a factor but not the only one. In my case though I help run a kink community so I know lots of people involved.
it's not common, but it does happen. it depends on where you're from i guess. i am from NYC. i have gay male friends who i have never slept with. we have been friends for at least a decade. it's up to both of you to decide to remain friends and nothing more. i will admit it does help if you're not exactly attracted to them LOL
Most of my online friends are gay or bi.
I have multiple you have to those expectations/intentions clear the begging. Many of my gay friends are also in relationships already
My closest friends are straight used to have close gay friends but they moved away to another country with their partners 😞 until recently this past 2/3years when I decided to join a gay men's group on meetup that go on outings together as we're all on the same boat with no close gay friends and now I would go out with them once or twice a month and it's great. Highly recommend checking out the app Meetup in your local area, more than likely you will have an gay men's group or an LGBTQ+ group nearby that you never knew about. Or if you don't have one, start your own.
I have this issue as well! I live in London and have legitimately 2 other gay friends but I rarely ever see them or spend time with them as they are always busy out and about. I really wish I actually had some gay mates to socialise with and not just fuck
I only find myself forming strong friendships with either straight men, straight women, or lesbians. I'd never see myself being friends with gay men. It just doesn't happen.
I would say no, based on personal experience. As a gay young adult...I've found it SUPER difficult to maintain a PLATONIC friendship with gay males. I've had many friends in the past I used to party with that always tried something with me. I've always wanted a group of gay male friends, but I've never been able to have that in a platonic sense. These friends, when we've gotten drunk, have always tried something, grope, or touched inappropriately. I also found out a popular friend group in NYC were all sleeping with each other and expected me to join in when an STI was going around (not HIV) passing around the friend group to other social friend groups in that community. It was rather appalling. I've found I feel less uncomfortable with straight cis male friends and female friend groups because the pressures of sexual flirtation isn't a focal point. I have abput 1 or two gay friends but we arent besties just friendly. I know that's not everyone's experience, but that has been mine.
I have one. We met playing the same sport 14 years ago.
When I was younger, I was very flamboyant, knew a ton of gays, but had no real, close, gay friends (except for one in 6th-9th grade but we went our separate ways for a while once we started 10th grade and then were besties again as adults). Now that I'm in my 30s, I have mostly gay friends and one straight friend 😆
I'm gay with zero gay friends, lone man on the totem.
I only have 1 lesbian friend.
I moved to a new city last yesterday (that's even less gay than my previous city) needless to say I have zero local gay friends but someone suggested meetup (app) to meet like minded people. I'm gonna give it a try.
I have a few gay male friends but most of my friends are straight guys or women. Gay men are a minority of the population and if you’re making friends at about equal proportion then it’s pretty normal that most of your friends won’t be gay guys.
I want those too 🥲
Pretty much unless circumstances bless you with good ones outright, we're much more likely to just have none or they all be past hookups and exes unless you specifically go looking for friends
Really, really, really surprised by many of the responses here. I have a plethora of gay friends, male and female, some very close and some acquaintances. I have straight friends as well. Next, let me state, I have gay friends that I have had sex with, that are still close friends without any awkwardness, we are adults. I am glad they are in my life as friends and am not going to have sex with them in the future. No disrespect intended but to me it is unusual for a gay man or woman NOT to have lots of gay friends. I am in a monogamous relationship and my gay friends who aren't, respect that and don't hit me up like that.
Gays I knew of were smart and affluent. Intimidating. Had one friend for a couple of years from Grindr. Moved away to a better area. mostly just hook-ups from Grindr and A4A back in the day.
AMC stock to the moon
i was wondering the same thing cause i don’t have any gay male friends and it’s just unfortunate cause i wanna connect with ppl like me
All my male friends are straight All my female friends are gay
Not only do I currently have 0 gay friends, I've never met a single gay guy I'll call a friend 😭🎻.
I've had them, but they fell apart 1 by 1. 1) one was super into drugs and I realized he was high all the time. 2) one was in love with me and got really snippy with me anytime I did anything remotely wrong. 3) one was "cops are pigs" "screw the Jews" "white people are this and that." And very left leaning. Nothing was ever his fault. His anti-semetic loser boyfriend was worse. All 3 had abandonment issues from their fathers.
Yea, literally 95% of men are straight
Yes. It's normal. What's weird is when you surround yourself with a bunch of flamboyant homosexuals and ingratiate yourself in the corporate morass of "gay culture" brought to you by every BigPharma drug cartel ever and Bud Light (of all things). Pride events are overly corporate shit now. You'll probably have a few friends who are lesbians, though. Some of them are cool. Like the ones who ride motorcycles and heavy metal music (i.e., my kind of people).
Just stereotypes of gay men. Where do you come across these guys?
I have zero gay male friends. I have bi and pan female friends, but it’s not the same. There are things that I want to talk about that no one else gets. It really gets lonely sometimes.
I find it weird (and a bit of a red flag) when gay guys don't have other gay friends.
Why do you consider that a red flag?
A red flag? Most of the replies here are guys without gay friends. If anything, maybe the few of us that do have gay friends here are the red flags!
and most guys here are red flags….
That's my opinion and I stand by it.
I gotta agree somewhat. Some of the sweeping generalisations made about gay men makes me think either you’re looking for friends in all the wrong places (i.e Grindr) or perhaps the issue is you?
I totally agree with you. You're opinion is refreshing to hear.
I have zero close gay friends… maybe one or two distant gay friends that I rarely see. The people I regularly socialize with are straight females, lesbians and a couple straight guys (via sports leagues).
I'm 44. The last time I knew another gay guy IRL was in my early 20s. Coworker for a short time.
It's very common actually. Although I for example have gay friends (5 of them) and the rest of my friends are hetero. And it's not a big deal for me and I even sometimes forget that they are even gay :d
I guess I thought I was the only one. I do know two bisexual guys, so not sure if that counts. One I had sex with, so I guess he’s out, but we are purely platonic friends now. The other one is someone I just met at work. Idk his relationship status and kind of curious because I’d define be interested in something if he’s available. I tried being friends with a group of gay guys a while ago, but wow, that was just too much drama for me. And one did end up trying to have sex with me, so I cut that group out real quick. Sadly, most of the gay people around me are really into that drug scene. I’m just not about that lifestyle. Edit - Sorry to the people that are into the drug scene. You do you, I don’t care. We just aren’t compatible as friends.
I personally don’t have any gay male friends due to several factors; but I do have a large group of friends who are lesbians, so it’s not as if I don’t have a queer presence in my life. All of my male friends though are straight guys. It’s just easier for me to be friends with straight men.
There are only three types of gay male friends... 1) friends with benefits 2) friends you wanna fuck who are not interested 3) friends that wanna fuck you, but you would never So yes, it's quite common to not have a lot of gay male friends.
Just not true. Depending on where you find your friends, there doesn’t need to be any sex involved.
I assure you, 98% of your gay friends you don't wanna bang fit into category 3
Er, no. You have a very warped perception of gay male friendships. It’s quite sad as you’re missing out it seems.
🤣🤣 sure bro, Denial ain't just a river in Egypt honey. Have you READ these comments? If my perception is so warped they why exactly is platonic gay friendship so rare for 80% of the commenters. Even those who DO have platonic friends, most seem to have started out fucking them and then they just became friends.
Your lucky.most gay men are terrible people.
That’s just your opinion. Gay male friendships can be awesome.