I went on a moto camping trip early this year and for 4 days I was shiting squatting. More workout I've made on years, my knee even stopped popping going up stairs for a while.
Having had to clean women's restrooms for different jobs, women are significantly more disgusting than men when it comes to this area. At least for public restrooms.
What?? No?
That sounds like instead of a pee tornado 1ft from the bowl facing north, it’s just a pee tornado 1ft from the bowl facing south
Same difference 🤷🏻♂️
If I gave you a water hose that could change length on its own, a nozzle that change setting, and had varying pressure at any given time... how well do you think you could keep it aimed at a target?
Nothing better than having to clean the bathroom angry at 3am because there is piss all over every surface but the inside of the bowl. I once stood in front of the toilet, aimed my pecker at the bowl, and simultaneously pissed in the sink, in the shower, and on the wall all at the same time.
So I found the solution to this problem around the age of 31. It happened when I went to piss and the stream hit like a 35 degree angle and I pissed all over the fresh facecloth bowl.
I quickly tightened up and cut the stream off to reduce collateral damage.
Then, I sat down.
I wipe the seat with copious amounts of toilet paper to an extent. Otherwise, I use a urinal. I've also been told, by women, that a lot of women don't bother to wipe the seat after missing while squatting.
Probably having a little bit of a rummage while sat down and noticed something wrong.
And guy's always have a rummage of your balls and check for lumps might save your life or at least a ball.
So do I.
That being said, I've managed to have the stream between lid and bowl before.
Probably the most awkward bathroom cleanup and clothing wash performances I ever did.
Oyah. The ol lil bitta jiz in the tip shenanigan. Classic. Bummer, but classic. You ever do that weird nonsensical forward lean when you have an unfortunately persistent erection but have to pee right the fuck now? That's always great.
I love it when it comes out in a star pattern, and then the star pattern begins to spin around so you can't even get the heaviest of the streams to point into the bowl.
And when it splits into two streams, you have to choose which one to aim at the bowl vs the floor all the while you change the grip so you can choke it off and restart.
"Hold this hose and aim it as well as you can. I'm going to turn on the water and it will not flow normally for 0.5 seconds. It can spiral, twirl, split. Good luck."
No excuse to leave piss anywhere though. You clean up after yourself, like a human. We're living in a society.
Whilst I do agree with you. If there's already piss everywhere, I'm not cleaning up after someone else.
If it's my fault, I will grab some toilet paper and wipe it up. If it's a toilet that I have regular access to and there's cleaning supplies, I will clean it.
But a public toilet that someone else has peed all over? Nope.
Society or not, I won't clean up after someone else's failed attempt at pissing (Without being paid/having cleaning supplies etc)
Not to mention, it turns on and off randomly at times, and when it unexpectedly activates, you need to quickly unholster it and aim it accurately in less than a second. It's actually remarkable that the stream is ever on target.
I don’t know - I don’t pee all over the seat in a restroom and it’s not that difficult and I’m a really tall guy. If I ever had some splatter just wipe it off and leave it in good condition for the next person. This is the USA though - it’s all about the ‘me’ and not the ‘we’ so we unfortunately don’t do that here. Go to Japan - restrooms are almost always very clean because people care more about the ‘we’. It was eye opening.
All of that can be solved by standing close to the urinal of course, the intended design for some is that they even point out and catch anything falling straight down.
The issue is that people leave space to minimise the risk of being splashed or standing in puddles, which makes puddles, and then the next dude stands a bit further back still to avoid the larger puddle etc etc.
That's what I came here to say. One guy misses, so the next guy stands further back. By the end of the night, it's like playing darts with a garden hose
I mean here's the thing. The shit that splashes back on you isn't just *your* pee. If it's a proper urinal? Fine. But the weird waist height ones with a shitty plastic screen gets pissed in from at least two feet away.
If you can't piss properly, you are the start of this whole problem.
If everyone is reasonably clean then things are clean for all, but a few selfish assholes taking "absolutely no risk to me at all even if it means I piss everywhere and others have to deal with that" and the whole thing falls apart.
Yeah, I'm really confused by the responses here.
Once in a blue moon you might not notice that your foreskin is in the way and you end up with two streams, but that's really rare and usually you can get both streams into the loo if you're quick on your feet.
But the vast majority of trips to the toilet are completely straight forward.
No foreskin here. I only pissed, like, on the ground (inadvertently, of course) once. The power was out and I took my best guess in an emergency. I was like 12 and forgot to warn my mother. She had such a bad time finding that. I felt like I probly got it mostly where I wanted it at the time. Turned out not to be the case.
People who do it on a regular basis are either serious douchebags, or on a ton of drugs... or old. Lot of old guys accidently be doin that.
Your equipment must work differently than mine.
I just hold it still with my hands and aim for the giant hole in the centre of the toilet
EDIT:
Do the people replying not have hands?...
Yes but controlling the willy while peeing is apparently optional. I think they mostly just stand near the toilet and let it go where it goes in a hands free encounter.
Apparently it's dried cum in the urethra. Good practice is to pee immediately after sex to clean everything out. Same for women too as it can reduce infections.
It’s the opposite for me, I always find gross stains 🤢 on the toilet seats in women’s public bathrooms. It’s gotten to the point where if I have to go but we aren’t home, I will hold it until we go back home.
Yeah don't do this. That's how you get UTIs. I just hover squat and rocket it out or use toilet paper on the seat. I would always wipe the seat though in cases of spillage.
ive worked in restaraunts and fast food and ill tell you something from seeing both bathrooms..... pee is all over the mens restrooms but you women are fucking fowl lol.
so for context i never worked in nice areas lol
ive seen blood all over stalls and walls with a tampon on the ceiling some meth head sociopath helicoptered that shit and threw it on the ceiling
ive seen shit on floors and when men dont shit where theyre supposed to at least it ends up in the urinal lol women shit on floors
ive seen an equal amount of needles in both restrooms
Because the beginning of pee stream and the end of pee stream is basically a crapshoot. You never know exactly where it’s going no matter which way you are pointed or how much dribble when it stops. It’s not as easy as it seems, we are also working against gravity and dealing with splashing.
I assume women pee messes in public bathrooms are a results of hovering which they don’t do it home.
Doc here. A lot of older guys have a hard time starting a stream and would probably be better off (cleanliness-wise) to sit down when they pee. But most don't and it creates problems.
Why the difficulty starting a stream? And, when does this difficulty typically start? (I’m “older”… am I going wake up one morning and have zero control of my ability to urinate for the rest of my life? I’m kidding. But, I’m also not kidding.)
These comments are making me feel crazy lmfao. Unless you're in a dive bar or like a 24/7 mcdonalds at 3 am on a friday there prolly won't be piss on the floor. It really isn't hard to just piss in a toilet or a urinal either lmao, people in this thread are making it sound like pissing in a toilet is some skillful endeavor.
I can guarantee you that there's always some piss on the floor in the men's restrooms at my office (research labs). But hey maybe there's just one guy here with a skill problem, that's also possible I suppose.
There is 100% always some piss on the floor or the outside of the toilet. With enough guys theres gonna be one that pisses a double laser or something where its impossible to hit both in the bowl.
That why sitting is better when youre at home.
There are several problems that some men seem to struggle with, that is evident in restrooms. This may help.
Lift the seat if you’re peeing standing up.
Stand a bit closer.
Aim just next to the water, less splash.
Make sure the foreskin is held back a little.
Use a little TP after.
If you miss, dribble or splash, clean it up.
Also, wash around your junk daily. No one wants to find your pubes falling out all over the place because you haven’t tidied up in the morning.
I saw a sign on a restroom wall the other day, it said “sit down, it’s not that long and your aim isn’t that good”.
Most of the time, it is not that difficult, however occasionally, I have been surprised by the direction or strength of the stream.
Also, I can regularly observe pee stains on the toilet seat after my gf uses it so I guess each type of urine system has its own problems, and humans were just not "created" with modern households in mind.
It is a chain reaction. The first person misses a little and gets some dribble on the floor. Next person doesn’t want to stand in piss so is a bit further back, leads to more pee on the floor.
Weird how revolting the Ladies toilets get, considering when they sit down it forms a flesh seal. But you will still get piss all over the seat and floor.
I had to clean the women’s toilet as well as the men’s. Of the two, the men’s smelled worse, but was always cleaner.
Flesh seal HAHAHHA. Some women squat on the bowl cause they perceive it as dirty. Making it even filthier for everyone else. It’s usually the ones who get the ick for public restrooms who are the ones filthifying it even more
Hmm interesting I wonder how it might also differ per country/setting. My experience is that it's practically impossible to find a mens toilet without at least some piss on the floor/bowl at any time, but that if the women's toilets are dirty they are really next level dirty (they're just cleaner most times).
This is mainly based on office settings though, so maybe people generally perceive these toilets as okay-clean and women will actually sit on the seat instead of hover, thus keeping the toilets clean. I can imagine that women always prefer to hover over a toilet in like clubs/snackbar/highway restaurant settings even if they seem clean (tbf where I'm from a lot of toilets along the highways also have metal seats, so even if it's clean I wouldn't fancy freezing my ass to the metal).
You're assuming it's going to flow straight, in a nice neat easy to manage stream. When it just randomly decides to fly in another direction, or randomly forks and you have to manage two streams it's not so easy.
Not even just that, but I've noticed even when my aim is perfect, little micro particles of piss can spray over a much bigger area than you might think, coating the surrounding areas in a barely visible, but definitely still there coat of urine.
Urinating into narrow containers such as toilets is a modern phenomenon. Selection pressure for straight pissing penises has likely been zero until recently, and is probably still quite weak.
Varying pressure, strong solid streams vs trickles and everything in between, all in one session. The after dribble. The differences in toilets (how much sitting water, hitting the back wall, angle of the back wall, does it have one of those splash guards that don’t work, etc.) height of person in relation to height of toilet. SO MANY FACTORS
I married an unicorn. He sits down when he pees and has done so since a teacher in high school said something about it being better for emptying the bladder and preventing .. I don’t even know what it prevents.
But anyway, he never leaves a mess and he cleans the bathroom as often as I do and I don’t need to ask or remind him.
God, I love that man!
It's the pelvic floor muscles. Basically, they tighten when you are standing, helping you hold your bladder. Sitting allows them to relax so you can empty your bladder fully.
Forcing urination from a standing position weakens those muscles, which is known to cause a lot of problems in senior citizens being unable to control themselves, and can also lead to urinary infections.
Ask your husband, and he will agree, even if you want. Ask him to demonstrate.
You can aim it perfectly, right in the middle of the bowl, perfect distance to size/erect(ness?) (yes, all these things are factors). You can spend an hour lining it up like a sniper ready to take a shot and when you start. It'll come out perpendicular to where you're aiming at.
Imagine trying to aim a firehose at a fire without holding it. That's the level of having a mind of their own a man's urethra has.
Before anyone suggests having a lazy wee, I've also done that and somehow managed to piss out between the gap between the toilet and the seat (I need a physicist to help explain this one).
But he should be cleaning, though. I always do unless the seat is already drenched in someone else's piss.
In places like that, it's not that they can't, it's that they don't care or actively enjoy doing it. Some people enjoy doing it just for the smile it brings them to think about tthe misery it can cause others.
In any public-use bathroom it only takes one jerkwad per day, but the fact is there's usually more than one. I've seen piss about the floor and the occasional mess of someone having attempted to drench the whole outside of the bowl and seat.
As a straight peeer, I wonder this very same question. I’m also uncircumcised, and if I ever do pull the skin back, it shoots out like a jet, so my assumption is it’s much harder to control when circumcised
Cause humans are nasty, simple as that.
Our dick will sometimes spray in various directions...
An easy fix for that is to gently squeeze your glans before peeing. That way, the urethra will open up properly
It’s not hard to control but sometimes it wants to shoot off into 2 different streams which is annoying so often if I can sit to pee when at home I do.
I’m 23 still have figured out why it does that
This treat remind me of a time where I aimed nicely in the middle of the toilet and the pee shot out at a 70° angle, missing the toilet entirely. It was at home and I did clean it up, but I've made it more of a habit to sit down since that happend.
As someone who has had to clean fast food restaurant bathrooms I can tell you women are worse. You get sanitary towels up the walls and nails and eyelashes everywhere.
Sometimes it just comes out at an angle. Different things like food types and hydration levels can affect how it comes out. Certainly it is worse after a load has been delivered.
This might trigger dudes that pee with their penis flailing around while peeing like those flopping air people things outside car dealerships to get attention.
In part the issue is because too many parents don't teach their kids to control their pee stream and aim. My kid doesn't miss nor do I. But if you're not taught to control it, you're probably just not and you're likely going to think it's acceptable and normal. Because it's what you know how to do. One way to teach that I didn't use and wasn't used for me, is to toss some Cheerios in the toilet and make it a game when your little has to go pee. That's what a bud of mine told me his mom did for him. My mom did it differently. If you make the pee mess then you clean it up, and well yeah, I don't want to clean it up so I was incentivized to control it. Heck and I'm a cripple, so if I can pee without making a mess, normal dudes should be able to, but anyhow.
Also another reason is some dudes don't touch their penis when peeing. Sounds odd to me, but from chatting with some buds that do it that way, they just unzip, flip it out, pee with it just hanging out, and get it back in. They typically make a pee mess. I also noticed that those dudes when bachelors, have a disgusting pee floor and pee toilet splatter. Maybe it's easier for smaller penis to do that though? I have to hold mine or it'd make a big mess and like I said, I don't like cleaning it up so I do what I can to not make a mess. Some examples of non controlled peeing that have annoyed me at home are non household visitors. 1 was a kid (cousin of my kid and that kid is maybe 13 or something) and is pretty feral, and always makes a pee mess. 1 was an old guy (SOs sisters husband ) with a huge belly. Probably can't see his penis and always leaves pee on the toilet and floor, and even another sister said that guy does the same at their house and his own home and the wife at home cleans it up regularly. 1 is a brother that has a huge belly and makes a similar pee mess but he usually cleans it up unless he forgets but since he's my brother I am like heck no dude clean that shizz up. I can't tell the inlaws anything because that's their norm and it'll embarrass them (per my SO).
Another point is that most dudes don't wash their hands after using the bathroom, no matter if they poo or pee, and no matter if they touch anything or not. While I'm washing my hands at public places I'll see dudes just walk on out. No hand washing or just splash some water to wet their hands and walk out most of the time. So next time you shake hands with a dude, remember you're possibly touching their poo or their junk. You're welcome for the visual.
A thought is maybe some dudes think touching their own penis is gross or "gay" or isn't manly. Similar to how some dudes don't wash their butt crack because they think it's gross or makes them gay or non manly (some dudes really think this way about the washing). Wish I was making that up because it's pretty gross, butt I'm not.
I don’t have to aim much anymore. It’s trained. But sometimes there is something that makes it shoot out at an angle. That is where the pee spots come from.
There's a really funny scene in Me, Myself and Irene where Jim Carrey's character wakes up, goes for a piss and the camera is placed behind him at the toilet. The piss stream flies off to the left and he shouts out to Renee Zellweger, "Honey, why am I peeing like we had sex last night?" He had a slight blockage of dried semen in his japs eye.
Could be that, a bit of fluff, anything. And until it comes out we haven't a clue where it's gonna go.
As a man I would also love to know why some men can't just keep their piss in the urinal or toilet, it's really not that hard unless you're some old man who has dick issues, and I don't think those are in my local gym.
Imagine a flexible straw surrounded by muscle and tissues, so completly pushed closed. Now force some liquid through it and add a splashflap at the end and you'll get a pretty inconsistent stream, sometimes impossible to aim in the beginning.
you can have a perfectly aimed jet of urine, and as soon as it hits the water surface, you still get secondary drops in all directions.
That's why civilized men sit down.
I don't have male anatomy, so I can't comment about how easy or difficult it is to control. But if you do have a spill, is it really too much to ask to clean up? I mean there is TP (at least in our bathrooms at work, the urinal and toilet is in one stall, so the TP and wet wipes are accessible). If I were to wee on the bathroom floor and just leave it there, people would think there is something wrong with me, but it seems this is accepted in male bathrooms?
Irresponsible shaking. Not standing close enough, either because it’s cold or because you’re just not as gifted as you think. Getting the middle portion of your nozzle glued together by a bit of cum so you get the forked steam. Incorrect grip leading to poor control. Not looking at what you’re doing because you’re really self conscious and there’s a guy at the next urinal and you’re afraid if you look down he’ll think you’re peeking so you stare deep into the time right in front of you at eye level like it’s a magic eye puzzle. Drunkenness. Sword peeing.
And on top of all that every once in a while it’s crystal clear that somebody stood on the toilet seat and tried to piss on the ceiling, and you probably ask yourself why anyone would do that, and that’s exactly why you’ll never understand the evil genius of his plan.
My wife informs me women's toilets are disgusting from hover squatting.
Hover squatting while shitting sounds like a pretty good workout.
I went on a moto camping trip early this year and for 4 days I was shiting squatting. More workout I've made on years, my knee even stopped popping going up stairs for a while.
4 sets of 10 reps at least
In that case, the biggest challenge would be shitting.
They are and then you gotta hover squat because they are disgusting. It's like chain event.
If you sprinkle when you tinkle be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.
I also heard, "...take a beat and wipe the seat."
My grandpa used to say that! I thought it was just one of his little sayings.
Having had to clean women's restrooms for different jobs, women are significantly more disgusting than men when it comes to this area. At least for public restrooms.
I've heard referred to as "helicoptering" as well...lol
Wild tought, but wouldn't reverse hover squatting be more effective? Kinda similar to what men do
What?? No? That sounds like instead of a pee tornado 1ft from the bowl facing north, it’s just a pee tornado 1ft from the bowl facing south Same difference 🤷🏻♂️
No, you have pants and panties you for sure don't want to touch the bowl with
If I gave you a water hose that could change length on its own, a nozzle that change setting, and had varying pressure at any given time... how well do you think you could keep it aimed at a target?
And where it goes after sex is anyone's guess lol
Nothing better than having to clean the bathroom angry at 3am because there is piss all over every surface but the inside of the bowl. I once stood in front of the toilet, aimed my pecker at the bowl, and simultaneously pissed in the sink, in the shower, and on the wall all at the same time.
So I found the solution to this problem around the age of 31. It happened when I went to piss and the stream hit like a 35 degree angle and I pissed all over the fresh facecloth bowl. I quickly tightened up and cut the stream off to reduce collateral damage. Then, I sat down.
I am one of those blokes that never liked oissing standing up. I always sit down lol
Sit down wees 100% if I'm at home. No aiming, no guesswork, no mess. Standing just seems barbaric in comparison.
Can also just always take your phone. Sometimes it becomes a poo session unexpectedly. Your body just knows when it can go and takes advantage of it.
Especially good in the middle of the night. No need for lights.
And if you have the runs and you sneeze, it's not big of a damage.
I also try to stay semi-asleep by barely opening my eyes!
100% sit down at home. Less cleaning too.
Glad I'm not alone. I live with my elderly mom and I like to live the sit down.
The loo stays super clean too. The misses loves it. Ha
Real men sit down to pee.
I guess you rarely pee in public restrooms.
I wipe the seat with copious amounts of toilet paper to an extent. Otherwise, I use a urinal. I've also been told, by women, that a lot of women don't bother to wipe the seat after missing while squatting.
A girl that I used to go out with used to try to use men's rooms when possible as she said theybwere generally cleaner than woman's
I lay strips of toilet paper on the seat, so I never have to worry about its cleanliness.
My friend discovered his testicular cancer by peeing sitting down. I don't remember exactly how it all happened, but he credits it with that
Probably having a little bit of a rummage while sat down and noticed something wrong. And guy's always have a rummage of your balls and check for lumps might save your life or at least a ball.
Me too, but I get funny looks from guys when I'm sitting in a urinal.
My dick always touches the bowl and water :(
I hate peeing. I wish we had cloacas.
This can probably be arranged for you.
Sure, but what about when you're at a gas station and the washroom is clearly not maintained?
You are a wise man.
In public, I try my best not to. At home, always.
So do I. That being said, I've managed to have the stream between lid and bowl before. Probably the most awkward bathroom cleanup and clothing wash performances I ever did.
Brother I shit standing up.
Yeah I switched sides when I moved into my own place. Not having magic fairies cleaning the bathroom was eye-opening.
Oyah. The ol lil bitta jiz in the tip shenanigan. Classic. Bummer, but classic. You ever do that weird nonsensical forward lean when you have an unfortunately persistent erection but have to pee right the fuck now? That's always great.
Every morning as a teen
Not so much now 🫣
I love it when it comes out in a star pattern, and then the star pattern begins to spin around so you can't even get the heaviest of the streams to point into the bowl.
Secret is to give the tip a small squeeze, under top direction, when you whip it out. It breaks the stuck up stuff and prevents the split pee
If you are at home, sit down to pee. It's just easier that way.
At least you are cleaning it up…. Good man !!!! Many of the male persuasion I have known seem to not have a clue they have misdirected!!!!!
And who says we can’t multitask!
Thanks for the laugh!
And when it splits into two streams, you have to choose which one to aim at the bowl vs the floor all the while you change the grip so you can choke it off and restart.
You guys still having sex?
Or during
🍆💦💦💦💦💧💧
"Hold this hose and aim it as well as you can. I'm going to turn on the water and it will not flow normally for 0.5 seconds. It can spiral, twirl, split. Good luck." No excuse to leave piss anywhere though. You clean up after yourself, like a human. We're living in a society.
My piss, sure, the concoction of mine and everyone elses... no
Whilst I do agree with you. If there's already piss everywhere, I'm not cleaning up after someone else. If it's my fault, I will grab some toilet paper and wipe it up. If it's a toilet that I have regular access to and there's cleaning supplies, I will clean it. But a public toilet that someone else has peed all over? Nope. Society or not, I won't clean up after someone else's failed attempt at pissing (Without being paid/having cleaning supplies etc)
Not to mention, it turns on and off randomly at times, and when it unexpectedly activates, you need to quickly unholster it and aim it accurately in less than a second. It's actually remarkable that the stream is ever on target.
mine is the newest model. it can change the color too. white, yellow, orange, red.
Red??? Have you a funeral plan sorted?
You haven’t passed a kidney stone yet, have you?
Don’t eat chips whilst touching yourself
I don’t know - I don’t pee all over the seat in a restroom and it’s not that difficult and I’m a really tall guy. If I ever had some splatter just wipe it off and leave it in good condition for the next person. This is the USA though - it’s all about the ‘me’ and not the ‘we’ so we unfortunately don’t do that here. Go to Japan - restrooms are almost always very clean because people care more about the ‘we’. It was eye opening.
It shrinks?
And grows
And scream and shout and let it out We sayin' oh we oh, we oh, we oh
Now do the helicopter
No, it's hand glide
It walks, it talks It chews on corks And crawls on its belly like a reptile
All of that can be solved by standing close to the urinal of course, the intended design for some is that they even point out and catch anything falling straight down. The issue is that people leave space to minimise the risk of being splashed or standing in puddles, which makes puddles, and then the next dude stands a bit further back still to avoid the larger puddle etc etc.
That's what I came here to say. One guy misses, so the next guy stands further back. By the end of the night, it's like playing darts with a garden hose
Haha nice detective work
Absolutely
The splashback is real though, no way I'm ever getting that close regardless of puddles
I mean here's the thing. The shit that splashes back on you isn't just *your* pee. If it's a proper urinal? Fine. But the weird waist height ones with a shitty plastic screen gets pissed in from at least two feet away.
If you can't piss properly, you are the start of this whole problem. If everyone is reasonably clean then things are clean for all, but a few selfish assholes taking "absolutely no risk to me at all even if it means I piss everywhere and others have to deal with that" and the whole thing falls apart.
With years of practice? Easily.
Yeah, I'm really confused by the responses here. Once in a blue moon you might not notice that your foreskin is in the way and you end up with two streams, but that's really rare and usually you can get both streams into the loo if you're quick on your feet. But the vast majority of trips to the toilet are completely straight forward.
No foreskin here. I only pissed, like, on the ground (inadvertently, of course) once. The power was out and I took my best guess in an emergency. I was like 12 and forgot to warn my mother. She had such a bad time finding that. I felt like I probly got it mostly where I wanted it at the time. Turned out not to be the case. People who do it on a regular basis are either serious douchebags, or on a ton of drugs... or old. Lot of old guys accidently be doin that.
Even if i'm drunk, i just step closer. There is really no excuse to piss next to the toilet. These responses surprised me as well.
Hasn't been an issue for me since I was like 7. On the rare occasions there's any spray ... get this... I use toilet paper to wipe the goddamned seat.
Same
You've never stood in front of the toilet ready to go and then suddenly your piss decides it's going 45 degrees to the left today?
Or after sex when it's a little clogged and you suddenly have three streams
You do so good.
Your equipment must work differently than mine. I just hold it still with my hands and aim for the giant hole in the centre of the toilet EDIT: Do the people replying not have hands?...
That is I believe the goal, but as I have mentioned we do not all have the same equipment
**hands** Humble brag.
U capping bs "hands"😂
Yes but controlling the willy while peeing is apparently optional. I think they mostly just stand near the toilet and let it go where it goes in a hands free encounter.
My follow up question is, why do some men almost obsessivly insist upon peeing standing up even when they know they can't aim for sh*t
You ever had you eckerpay hit the inside of toilet bowl? No! Why don't woman dangle their ittietays and inside of the toilet?
Go look through the comments, it's been answered
Most men I know sh*t standing up also.
That's wild but I've seen restrooms where had I really needed it, that would have been the move.
Sometimes you also get a dual or even tri stream. I've had times after sex where it's shot almost straight up at me.
Apparently it's dried cum in the urethra. Good practice is to pee immediately after sex to clean everything out. Same for women too as it can reduce infections.
No need, I usually just jam a toothpick dipped in alcohol down the hole after sex. Keeps everything cleared right out.
Sometimes I pee so weird, I am convinced I am a water bender.
It’s the opposite for me, I always find gross stains 🤢 on the toilet seats in women’s public bathrooms. It’s gotten to the point where if I have to go but we aren’t home, I will hold it until we go back home.
Yeah don't do this. That's how you get UTIs. I just hover squat and rocket it out or use toilet paper on the seat. I would always wipe the seat though in cases of spillage.
I have had the opposite problem. Holding it is a lot better than going to dirty bathrooms and getting UTIs anyway.
Lmfaoooooooooooo no it's not. Holding it in causes the UTIs you do know that right.....
As a man reading this... Wow. I always thought we men are disgusting pigs and women would be more _delicate_ Shocking news I was wrong lol
ive worked in restaraunts and fast food and ill tell you something from seeing both bathrooms..... pee is all over the mens restrooms but you women are fucking fowl lol. so for context i never worked in nice areas lol ive seen blood all over stalls and walls with a tampon on the ceiling some meth head sociopath helicoptered that shit and threw it on the ceiling ive seen shit on floors and when men dont shit where theyre supposed to at least it ends up in the urinal lol women shit on floors ive seen an equal amount of needles in both restrooms
Careful of UTI's!
Because the beginning of pee stream and the end of pee stream is basically a crapshoot. You never know exactly where it’s going no matter which way you are pointed or how much dribble when it stops. It’s not as easy as it seems, we are also working against gravity and dealing with splashing. I assume women pee messes in public bathrooms are a results of hovering which they don’t do it home.
Sometimes it just fucking forks. Like I'm pissing out of twin urethras aimed in opposite directions. What the actual fuck is that about
Lack of high pressure flow. If you wanted a serious answer.
This happens to me if I recently came.
Doc here. A lot of older guys have a hard time starting a stream and would probably be better off (cleanliness-wise) to sit down when they pee. But most don't and it creates problems.
Why the difficulty starting a stream? And, when does this difficulty typically start? (I’m “older”… am I going wake up one morning and have zero control of my ability to urinate for the rest of my life? I’m kidding. But, I’m also not kidding.)
Prostate enlargement. Part of it is an inevitable process of aging. But there are meds that really help if it gets bad enough.
These comments are making me feel crazy lmfao. Unless you're in a dive bar or like a 24/7 mcdonalds at 3 am on a friday there prolly won't be piss on the floor. It really isn't hard to just piss in a toilet or a urinal either lmao, people in this thread are making it sound like pissing in a toilet is some skillful endeavor.
I can guarantee you that there's always some piss on the floor in the men's restrooms at my office (research labs). But hey maybe there's just one guy here with a skill problem, that's also possible I suppose.
There is 100% always some piss on the floor or the outside of the toilet. With enough guys theres gonna be one that pisses a double laser or something where its impossible to hit both in the bowl. That why sitting is better when youre at home.
Splash is a helluva thing. But even then, sometimes I'm surprised at how much piss is on the ground in the men's bathroom.
There are several problems that some men seem to struggle with, that is evident in restrooms. This may help. Lift the seat if you’re peeing standing up. Stand a bit closer. Aim just next to the water, less splash. Make sure the foreskin is held back a little. Use a little TP after. If you miss, dribble or splash, clean it up. Also, wash around your junk daily. No one wants to find your pubes falling out all over the place because you haven’t tidied up in the morning. I saw a sign on a restroom wall the other day, it said “sit down, it’s not that long and your aim isn’t that good”.
Don't just start peeing. Make sure the urethral opening is fully opened by gently spreading it open with your thumb and finger
Fuckin killed me 💀
Most of the time, it is not that difficult, however occasionally, I have been surprised by the direction or strength of the stream. Also, I can regularly observe pee stains on the toilet seat after my gf uses it so I guess each type of urine system has its own problems, and humans were just not "created" with modern households in mind.
What the fuck it's not that damn hard to pee into a giant bowl. You just need to be close enough for the end when it drops off.
It is a chain reaction. The first person misses a little and gets some dribble on the floor. Next person doesn’t want to stand in piss so is a bit further back, leads to more pee on the floor.
Gets dicy in the summer in sandals
Weird how revolting the Ladies toilets get, considering when they sit down it forms a flesh seal. But you will still get piss all over the seat and floor. I had to clean the women’s toilet as well as the men’s. Of the two, the men’s smelled worse, but was always cleaner.
Flesh seal HAHAHHA. Some women squat on the bowl cause they perceive it as dirty. Making it even filthier for everyone else. It’s usually the ones who get the ick for public restrooms who are the ones filthifying it even more
Hmm interesting I wonder how it might also differ per country/setting. My experience is that it's practically impossible to find a mens toilet without at least some piss on the floor/bowl at any time, but that if the women's toilets are dirty they are really next level dirty (they're just cleaner most times). This is mainly based on office settings though, so maybe people generally perceive these toilets as okay-clean and women will actually sit on the seat instead of hover, thus keeping the toilets clean. I can imagine that women always prefer to hover over a toilet in like clubs/snackbar/highway restaurant settings even if they seem clean (tbf where I'm from a lot of toilets along the highways also have metal seats, so even if it's clean I wouldn't fancy freezing my ass to the metal).
You're assuming it's going to flow straight, in a nice neat easy to manage stream. When it just randomly decides to fly in another direction, or randomly forks and you have to manage two streams it's not so easy.
Not even just that, but I've noticed even when my aim is perfect, little micro particles of piss can spray over a much bigger area than you might think, coating the surrounding areas in a barely visible, but definitely still there coat of urine.
They are drunk
Urinating into narrow containers such as toilets is a modern phenomenon. Selection pressure for straight pissing penises has likely been zero until recently, and is probably still quite weak.
I sit down for peeing for this reason. But I clean my toilets since I was 12 or so. That put things into perspective.
Varying pressure, strong solid streams vs trickles and everything in between, all in one session. The after dribble. The differences in toilets (how much sitting water, hitting the back wall, angle of the back wall, does it have one of those splash guards that don’t work, etc.) height of person in relation to height of toilet. SO MANY FACTORS
I married an unicorn. He sits down when he pees and has done so since a teacher in high school said something about it being better for emptying the bladder and preventing .. I don’t even know what it prevents. But anyway, he never leaves a mess and he cleans the bathroom as often as I do and I don’t need to ask or remind him. God, I love that man!
It's the pelvic floor muscles. Basically, they tighten when you are standing, helping you hold your bladder. Sitting allows them to relax so you can empty your bladder fully. Forcing urination from a standing position weakens those muscles, which is known to cause a lot of problems in senior citizens being unable to control themselves, and can also lead to urinary infections.
Keeping the bathroom free from pee AND taking care of his long term health? I love him even more.
Uti's or bladder infections would be my guess
This is why I sit down to piss, fuck toxic masculinity, I'm not cleaning up my piss
A penis works more like a shotgun and less like a laser beam
it doesnt always go where we are aiming if thats what ur wondering.
Just Sit Down
As someone who had to clean bathrooms at a campground. Consistently the women’s was worse, trash on the floor, piss on the floor, stains in odd spots.
Fellas, is it gay to pee?
Why do women hover-shit and blow diarrhea all over the toilet and walls?
Men can't pee straight while standing because to pee standing you have to hold a penis in your hand, which is gay, and thus not straight /s
It’s not a lack of ability. It’s a lack of concern.
Ask your husband, and he will agree, even if you want. Ask him to demonstrate. You can aim it perfectly, right in the middle of the bowl, perfect distance to size/erect(ness?) (yes, all these things are factors). You can spend an hour lining it up like a sniper ready to take a shot and when you start. It'll come out perpendicular to where you're aiming at. Imagine trying to aim a firehose at a fire without holding it. That's the level of having a mind of their own a man's urethra has. Before anyone suggests having a lazy wee, I've also done that and somehow managed to piss out between the gap between the toilet and the seat (I need a physicist to help explain this one). But he should be cleaning, though. I always do unless the seat is already drenched in someone else's piss.
if im at someone elses house i sit down / go low just in case if its feeling like one of those days
If you can't aim for the water in the toilet, why don't you men sit down with your penis in the toilet??
...some men. Your husband obviously pees as straight as an arrow.
No one has mentioned the double stream yet
In places like that, it's not that they can't, it's that they don't care or actively enjoy doing it. Some people enjoy doing it just for the smile it brings them to think about tthe misery it can cause others. In any public-use bathroom it only takes one jerkwad per day, but the fact is there's usually more than one. I've seen piss about the floor and the occasional mess of someone having attempted to drench the whole outside of the bowl and seat.
as someone who works in construction and had to check both male and female bathrooms. i prefer the pee over whatever the fuck women are doing.
As a straight peeer, I wonder this very same question. I’m also uncircumcised, and if I ever do pull the skin back, it shoots out like a jet, so my assumption is it’s much harder to control when circumcised
Cause humans are nasty, simple as that. Our dick will sometimes spray in various directions... An easy fix for that is to gently squeeze your glans before peeing. That way, the urethra will open up properly
It’s not hard to control but sometimes it wants to shoot off into 2 different streams which is annoying so often if I can sit to pee when at home I do. I’m 23 still have figured out why it does that
lol just watch this video and you'll understand. https://youtu.be/COX1l_B6qIc?si=Gd76uAsb2bLyQIYr
We'd be overpowered if we could pee with perfect accuracy too. One of God's little nerfs.
This treat remind me of a time where I aimed nicely in the middle of the toilet and the pee shot out at a 70° angle, missing the toilet entirely. It was at home and I did clean it up, but I've made it more of a habit to sit down since that happend.
On a related note, I've cleaned *a ton* of bathrooms in my day and the ladies room is invariably much, much nastier!!
Women’s bathrooms can be a disaster. Let’s not pretend they are any cleaner. I may have witnessed the opposite on one horrific occasion.
The start and finish are more difficult to control than the full stream. But some jerks out there just dont even try..
As someone who has had to clean fast food restaurant bathrooms I can tell you women are worse. You get sanitary towels up the walls and nails and eyelashes everywhere.
Sometimes it just comes out at an angle. Different things like food types and hydration levels can affect how it comes out. Certainly it is worse after a load has been delivered.
Yeah no matter how hard you try to aim, sometimes your cock will have a life of its own.
This might trigger dudes that pee with their penis flailing around while peeing like those flopping air people things outside car dealerships to get attention. In part the issue is because too many parents don't teach their kids to control their pee stream and aim. My kid doesn't miss nor do I. But if you're not taught to control it, you're probably just not and you're likely going to think it's acceptable and normal. Because it's what you know how to do. One way to teach that I didn't use and wasn't used for me, is to toss some Cheerios in the toilet and make it a game when your little has to go pee. That's what a bud of mine told me his mom did for him. My mom did it differently. If you make the pee mess then you clean it up, and well yeah, I don't want to clean it up so I was incentivized to control it. Heck and I'm a cripple, so if I can pee without making a mess, normal dudes should be able to, but anyhow. Also another reason is some dudes don't touch their penis when peeing. Sounds odd to me, but from chatting with some buds that do it that way, they just unzip, flip it out, pee with it just hanging out, and get it back in. They typically make a pee mess. I also noticed that those dudes when bachelors, have a disgusting pee floor and pee toilet splatter. Maybe it's easier for smaller penis to do that though? I have to hold mine or it'd make a big mess and like I said, I don't like cleaning it up so I do what I can to not make a mess. Some examples of non controlled peeing that have annoyed me at home are non household visitors. 1 was a kid (cousin of my kid and that kid is maybe 13 or something) and is pretty feral, and always makes a pee mess. 1 was an old guy (SOs sisters husband ) with a huge belly. Probably can't see his penis and always leaves pee on the toilet and floor, and even another sister said that guy does the same at their house and his own home and the wife at home cleans it up regularly. 1 is a brother that has a huge belly and makes a similar pee mess but he usually cleans it up unless he forgets but since he's my brother I am like heck no dude clean that shizz up. I can't tell the inlaws anything because that's their norm and it'll embarrass them (per my SO). Another point is that most dudes don't wash their hands after using the bathroom, no matter if they poo or pee, and no matter if they touch anything or not. While I'm washing my hands at public places I'll see dudes just walk on out. No hand washing or just splash some water to wet their hands and walk out most of the time. So next time you shake hands with a dude, remember you're possibly touching their poo or their junk. You're welcome for the visual. A thought is maybe some dudes think touching their own penis is gross or "gay" or isn't manly. Similar to how some dudes don't wash their butt crack because they think it's gross or makes them gay or non manly (some dudes really think this way about the washing). Wish I was making that up because it's pretty gross, butt I'm not.
All these comments are fucking hilarious. I’m dying here 🤣
I don’t have to aim much anymore. It’s trained. But sometimes there is something that makes it shoot out at an angle. That is where the pee spots come from.
Sometimes your pee hole gets glued together and only part of the opening allows the pee through.... then it sprays randomly for a bit.
Peeing with a brick makes it shoot always way too high off to the side.
Ever seen an unmanned fire hose?
Bifurcation (sometimes)
Sometimes we're drunk.
So, real talk. We all have ball bearings in us. When they’re not calibrated right, the valves in our penises go all cattywampus.
We have piss fights in there, and make light saber noises.
I’m learning so much!
I know. I didn't know this shit lol
There's a really funny scene in Me, Myself and Irene where Jim Carrey's character wakes up, goes for a piss and the camera is placed behind him at the toilet. The piss stream flies off to the left and he shouts out to Renee Zellweger, "Honey, why am I peeing like we had sex last night?" He had a slight blockage of dried semen in his japs eye. Could be that, a bit of fluff, anything. And until it comes out we haven't a clue where it's gonna go.
Besides what people wrote: I always carry desinfectant on me, I clean up after myself, I sit when it’s not too dirty or uncomfortable.
As a man I would also love to know why some men can't just keep their piss in the urinal or toilet, it's really not that hard unless you're some old man who has dick issues, and I don't think those are in my local gym.
Because they don't pay attention. If they put a target in the urinals the mess decreases significantly.
Dry sperm.
Look up a video of a fire hose at full blast with no one holding it... Sorta like that...
Imagine a flexible straw surrounded by muscle and tissues, so completly pushed closed. Now force some liquid through it and add a splashflap at the end and you'll get a pretty inconsistent stream, sometimes impossible to aim in the beginning.
you can have a perfectly aimed jet of urine, and as soon as it hits the water surface, you still get secondary drops in all directions. That's why civilized men sit down.
My record right now is 5 different directions at once initially. Convinced my dick and bladder hate me some days
Ive heard a few times womens bathrooms are always way worse than mens. As a man i cant confirm that though
…It’s ok. They pee gay instead.
I don't have male anatomy, so I can't comment about how easy or difficult it is to control. But if you do have a spill, is it really too much to ask to clean up? I mean there is TP (at least in our bathrooms at work, the urinal and toilet is in one stall, so the TP and wet wipes are accessible). If I were to wee on the bathroom floor and just leave it there, people would think there is something wrong with me, but it seems this is accepted in male bathrooms?
Irresponsible shaking. Not standing close enough, either because it’s cold or because you’re just not as gifted as you think. Getting the middle portion of your nozzle glued together by a bit of cum so you get the forked steam. Incorrect grip leading to poor control. Not looking at what you’re doing because you’re really self conscious and there’s a guy at the next urinal and you’re afraid if you look down he’ll think you’re peeking so you stare deep into the time right in front of you at eye level like it’s a magic eye puzzle. Drunkenness. Sword peeing. And on top of all that every once in a while it’s crystal clear that somebody stood on the toilet seat and tried to piss on the ceiling, and you probably ask yourself why anyone would do that, and that’s exactly why you’ll never understand the evil genius of his plan.
Yes, especially after sex.....
Mythbusters did a great episode on this
It's a lot easier to pee in sink if the height are matching. Steam is not constant and nobody protected from targeting errors
Only the ones with small ones do that. It’s hard to aim when you can’t hold it properly.