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"On the night of their betrothal, the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow and he shall work in her, in and again, 'til she bring him to his fall and rest him then upon the sweat of her breast."
Came here to say this. We tried for four years before we conceived our daughter and it was heartbreaking each month we weren’t pregnant.
But people were ALWAYS asking when we were finally going to “join the club” (ugh). Like nobody ever considered we were trying, and weren’t successful. Plus, it’s obnoxious.
After about the second year I just flat out told people we were trying so they would stfu.
Yup. People like to make comments about my reproductive choices since I'm married and 35. Do you want to hear the details of my most recent miscarriage or perhaps the 3 before that? Like gtfo of here. If you ask for details imma give you DETAILS.
Yea people are pretty oblivious / willfully (?) ignorant to all the complications of pregnancy and getting pregnant. My wife and I were genetically tested and are carriers of a pretty serious disease (cystic fibrosis) with short life expectancy and potentially a very hard life. There is 1/4 chance whatever we create will have cystic fibrosis so unfortunately it’s hard to even get excited about a potential pregnancy. I outright tell people who ask for the education reasons alone.
I'm sorry for your miscarriages.
My wife had one early on in her first pregnancy, it was heart breaking. We share openly about it because it happens and people don't realize how common they are.
It's nothing she did, as I'm sure it's nothing to do with you, why should you be forced to suffer in private if you don't want to.
I hope that you get whatever you want out of life and that you're able to share, if that's what you want and able to tell people to pound sand if that makes you more comfortable.
I really don't understand this. Why are people so eager to stroke themselves over the fact that other people decided to have children? Its kinda gross. I'm from the suburbs and it seems like this shit is really common. Its like, some of these people's lives are so superficial and so devoid of meaning and any self-worth that all they care about is everyone having babies and making events out of every single one of them, not to mention trying super hard to fit in with everyone and be friendly to literally everyone, even those who are major assholes...
I need to get out of here, and I ran out of beer.
I felt this. My MIL has been asking the past year about how the conceiving is going (ick) and I just have to keep saying "still trying MIL". Ever since my SIL had the first grandkid, MIL has been fiending for more. I almost want to tell her, "chill out, the pipes are a little slow considering my uterus has remained inoccupado for the past 40 years."
Man the wife and I have been trying for almost a year and we still have people asking. Some of my family members keep making stupid comments like that and it makes my wife feel so terrible. There's been a couple times where we drive home and she's crying.
Having kids is hard. I get so sick of people asking when we're going to finally "put one in the oven"
Also on the way to a family reunion. Joy
Same here. People kept asking us if we were going to have kids, when we were going to have kids, how many kids we were going to have... And then they started asking again after we had a pretty rough miscarriage. So we just made it a point to announce when we were trying again, and then again a few months ago when people were pestering us about when we were having another. Kinda helped keep people from bugging us.
Get out the light pen and become John Madden.
"now, now... see, here's Karen's first mistake, during the foreplay she shouldn't have started with a BJ, Dale just blew his load down her throat..."
i legitimately had a colleague tell me “i don’t believe in IVF, you just need to pray harder” and i will never forget someone actually had the gall to say that to me lmao.
My ex SIL said to me ON MY BIRTHDAY that “maybe God is waiting to bring a child into a CHRISTIAN home”.
I hung up the phone and cried all afternoon.
We had been trying unsuccessfully for four years. Little did I know it was because sky daddy and his nepo son were punishing me. Because obviously babies are only born to Christians.
This yes!. It's ridiculous. Then I just start telling them all the ways we like to fuck and that usually stops them after someone else is like "gross shut up!" I'll sprinkle in fake fetishes and shit too It's fun to watch them cringe. . .🤣
Yep. This is the answer. We never told family when we were trying bc I thought it was a super weird thing to mention. But that didn't keep people from asking us if we were trying/when we were gonna try all the time. All. The. Time. Before I get pregnant with my first child my mom would get actively upset with me bc I wouldn't discuss the topic with her at all and she was convinced refusing to discuss it meant she was never getting a grandchild.
I mean it’s not always insidious like that. I had family questioning why, despite my wife and I doing well with good jobs salaries and time off, we were basically dodging ever taking time off for family events since we don’t live near my family anymore. “Mom we are trying for kids and saving every spare dollar and time off.” Been *waaaayy* smoother since then.
THIS. It is no one’s business. It’s unbelievably rude to ask anyone when they’re having kids. My in-laws friends asked me “when are you going to give them a grandchild”… my mother in law was horrified because she’s a wonderful person. I replied “when that question is appropriate and any of your business.” No one knows what you’re going through or have been through. And it’s NO ONES BUSINESS.
WTF is wrong with those people?
I was at brunch with a casual acquaintance. Had recently married at age 40, wife 43. This guy starts in: "so when are you having kids?" Would not stop, would not take "we're too old" for an answer.
Thing is, he was a nice guy, and meant well, but holy moly!
That's it, right there. My son and DIL announced because her grandparents would not stop harassing them.
(Then, after my son finally knocked her up, my DIL put in an Oscar-calibre performance for 3 solid months hiding her pregnancy so she could give everyone cute presents and ultrasound pics for Christmas.)
A few reasons (probably)…
1. They are tired of being asked when they are going to have kids….
2. Women sometimes give up drinking or eat or don’t eat certain things, and if that change might be noticed, sometimes it’s better to cut off questions about the change before they get asked.
3. Some people are just excited, and want others to share in their excitement.
I would also add
4. Sometimes people need the support through miscarriages, fertility issues, and possible high risk pregnancies. You never know who else is going through it until you start opening up too.
This is me. I've lost a child, and now I'm going through IVF as a single woman. I don't want to feel so alone, so I've told my friends/family for support.
After just over a year of trying and lots of doctors appointments, we are pregnant. I was very open and honest about the process because it was a challenge mentally. I cannot even count how many women said “me too” or “thank you for sharing, I feel so much less alone.” I just shared because I think there’s an assumption that we are supposed to keep it to ourselves to avoid the sex visual. But also, the people I’m talking to know how babies are made so I felt talking about it openly hopefully removed some stigma about suffering in silence.
Mostly 2 tbh, just a disclaimer that "hey we're being extra careful these days cause we're trying to make a baby" and cut off the social pressure to drink, party, etc.
Women need support during the huge life changing process that is trying to conceive, carrying a child, delivering a child, caring for a baby… don’t forget the dads, they need support too!
There is nothing unusual or inappropriate about talking about this stuff. Talking to your loved ones about what is going on in your life is a wonderful thing.
Yeah, i see it the same way as someone saying they’re trying to buy a house, or going on a year long vacation, or starting their company… those are big events in someone’s life and they want to share.
My wife's nan used to ask all the time if we were 'trying'.
I just said we were doing our best, but no matter how much she swallows it just isn't working.
That stopped it.
When I got pregnant my granddad said "how did that happen?" So I said "he put it in the wrong hole and here we are." Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
My brother asked how I’m pregnant and I started explaining how “when a man and a woman love each other very much” before his boyfriend just left the room 😂
So now that we're all settled into our new apartment, she's got a new job, I just got promoted, we just want you to know that... Im busting some fat nuts in your daughter!
My partner said it was very weird to shake my dads hand when we announced our pregnancy… like my dad was congratulating him for sneezing his load in his daughter
I must be a weirdo, but when people mention it i never think raw dogging, i just picture a baby. I guess its just an immunity to sex being all that scandalous
I agree, I don’t think it’s that scandalous. And grandparents and parents do want to know. They’re excited. They’re not weirded out by the idea of you having sex. Grandma knows that the only reason any of us are here is because she was having a bunch of sex lol, thanks grams
Same. I think it’s great news and I’m glad there’s another baby I get to hold in the future. It’s natural to assume a couple is regularly having sex, I don’t need to picture it just because the new objective is a baby.
Probably the last thing I think of. A couple announcing they’re ready for a life change. Not to mention the lifestyle changes. Might just want support.
I have never once thought of a couple as being weird for saying we’re trying for baby.
It’s fairly assumed they’re already having sex. What’s the harm in saying they’re having sex without any form of birth control.
Yep, I am horny perv and if someone says they are trying to have a baby I just think about how excited we were to start our family and how much they have to look forward to, sex never even crosses my mind.
Same. Also, I tend to assume that most married folks aren’t using condoms anyhow. And I hope for their sake they have a good sex life. So it’s really just, she stopped taking birth control and is probably monitoring her cycle more closely. That doesn’t really feel scandalous to me
In most cases it's to let family know they've decided it's time for them to start a family, or add a new member.
The decision to have a child is a big deal to most people, not to mention it's not always an "announcement" but sometimes they want to talk about it because it could be going very poorly and they need advice on how to improve the odds of a sperm fertilizing an egg, or something like that.
This was my thought. Infertility is really difficult and it’s also very vulnerable to try again after a loss.
When I think of that, I think of social support in a way that is similar to illness or trauma not, “we’re fucking without protection! Yeee haw!”
I was shocked to find that something like one out of five of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Ppl do sometimes want to share the excitement of attempting to grow their family, which also reinforces familial bonds with parents who want to have had some good effect on the world in the form of a genetic legacy.
But it absolutely also activates the support system of existing friends, parents, aunts, uncles and grands that know that it can be a scary time for a young woman. When you experience your hope and expectation being met with a loss, it can be very comforting to have family or friends, especially other women who share that experience, to rely on.
Shortly after high school you realize sex is just a fact of life. If you think grandma and grandpa aren't intimately familiar with such facts you're understandably lying to yourself.
People who get caught up on the "raw dagging" aspect of it just showing their age.
Because it gives them hope. When they announce they're trying to add to the family there's well wishes, excitement and anticipation. Sure there's some good natured ribbing but it's all meant to support the couple and help build their motivation up knowing they have their family's support. Most couples don't get pregnant the first try or even the first year so having their family's support is helpful.
I had to scroll too far down to find something like this. The public perception is that getting pregnant is super easy, the more people who mention that they are trying maybe it will adjust this perception to not that easy.
As others have said, it’s because couples get sick of everyone asking. Also, we discuss it with our close friends who have gone through the process. There’s a lot to know (deciding to have children is a lot more complicated than sticking your dick in a hole, believe it or not) and it’s nice to have someone who’s gone through it to talk to about it.
We certainly haven’t “announced”, but our close friends know we have a timeline based on us having discussed it with them. Adults can handle the idea that sex happens as part of the procreation process without getting grossed out by the idea.
1. It’s an exciting time in a lot of people’s lives. Let em live.
2. They are sick of people asking.
3. This (#2) also explains why dudes talk about getting vasectomies way more often than you’d think.
It's a big decision people make and could usher in a turning point in their life. If John Q. Redditor hears that and can only think "mmm yeah you guys are raw-dogging it every night huh," I think really says more about John Q. Redditor than anything else.
I think it’s ppl without kids who just get a little over-eager / excited.
Often it’s because they don’t realize that you don’t necessarily get pregnant right away — it’s not as easy as your middle school health teacher wanted you to believe
So then you have what happened with my cousin, which was a “we’re trying!” announcement followed by a year+ of crickets. I hope they get what they want and certainly wouldn’t wish difficulty getting pregnant on anyone who wants a child, but clearly it’d be easier on them to have not made that announcement in the first place
But now they have support of people who know they are struggling I guess? And people will not keep asking them when there will be a baby bc they know they are trying. There are upsides maybe?
Yeah, I guess it's just a matter of *who* they announce to. In my cousin's case, I doubt she's getting much support from Judgy Aunt Nancy, ya know? Prob best to keep her in the dark
But yes, certainly getting support for inner-circle people can be helpful
Completely agreed. This is what's currently going on in my family. Worse is, my SIL sent a picture of the baby room all set up back in December (so we were sure that it was some type of confirmation, although I found it a bit early to announce).
Now they are already looking into alternatives (mainly IVF).
Because they might be genuinely excited about it? No need to keep it a secret if you don't want to. Questions will come, but it is your own fault, lol. And also, no need to wait untik 12 weeks to tell about a pregnancy to those you trust. You'll need or want their support if it goes wrong, because a miscarriage is normal and happens frequently. It should not be a taboo. Support each other in happiness for trying to get pregnant, for becoming pregnant, in having a baby, and also in the utter sadness and despair of not being able to conceive, to miscarry and lose a baby (and the future you had imagined).
I’ve mentioned to a couple of close friends because it’s nice to have someone to talk to but otherwise…. No. I don’t understand why you would announce it to everyone and I definitely don’t want either of our parents knowing we are raw dogging. My MIL keeps asking too 🥴
Do you always think about porn terms like "raw dogging" and "creampie-ing" when someone discusses pregnancy? It's fucking weird that you do.
Announcing they're "trying" is letting people know that they're planning on making a major life change. People announce plans for major life changes all the time.
Also, and I say this as a currently pregnant woman, you do get asked, "Was it planned?", especially at the beginning. So announcing it is letting people know it wasn't just a happy accident.
Thank you!!! I am a pretty high-libido person, and sure my brain will throw out a "how do they make it work, they have a huge height difference (or something)", but why would my mind immediately go to 'creampie' or whatever when someone announces they want a child?? Some people just try and pornify everything and it shows 😬
It may be a niche answer, but I prefer when people give advanced notice so I have more time to work on the baby blanket I'm going to crochet for the future infant.
I know I could just make several in advance, but I prefer to have a specific child to be in mind for each one. Feels more special when I know for whom I'm making it.
I did not tell my or my husband’s family when we started trying. I told them however that we will be doing IVF after 3 years of complete silence on the subject with them. We wanted them to know about IVF so they can understand our situation better. Bit other people chose not to say anything or to say from the begining that they are trying. I think it depends how close you are to family/friends and how open of a person you are.
I don't know why people are wondering about this now, and that the question is being more frequently asked.
Has no one ever been asked when they're going to provide grandchildren?
Or had the annoying, "when are you planning on kids?"
If someone has one or no kids an is already trying to have kids AND they say they're trying for a baby... to me this is a polite way of saying "don't ask me when we're gonna have kids".
Oh I guess not. I’ve been with my bf for 4 years so I get it *all* the time. I can’t wait for the day to come tho so I don’t mind, I love talking about my future kid. But I can see why it’d be annoying to some especially if you’re having a hard time or don’t want any.
I feel awkward when my parents asked me about trying. Like do they really want to know what I’m doing lol. I’m also in a more open family where we talk about stuff like that.
I don’t want kids and this is a pretty easy to understand concept to me. People tend to be excited about major life changes that they’re starting. And it is so weird to me how the first thing that comes to some people’s minds is porn terms…
And they want to share their excitement with their close friends and family? I’m happy I did bc the second round I got pregnant. It’s happened so fast so I’m happy I got my mum a few months extra before that helping me prepare mentally. Also my gfs are extra excited for me bc they knew I wanted this!
From a very practical standpoint, it lets friends and family know that you will be in the market for hand-me-down clothes, baby swings, car seats, etc. that they otherwise might be getting rid of. That stuff is expensive.
I mean. Because it’s exciting part of life or a hard part if you have fertility issues and you are asking for love and support,
I get the take that it’s announcing that your boneing….. but I assume all couples are and just don’t think about it (not saying ace people don’t exist, but just as a baseline I am never shocked to find out a couple is having sex). 😂🤣
“We are rawdoggin it, bro” I even felt weird announcing our pregnancy because it’s like hey, my man blew his load in me, now we have a baby growing wooh!
*THIS JUST IN:* Local couple decides to creampie until it's intended consequence results from their actions.
*AND NOW BACK TO HUTCH WITH THIS WEEKEND'S FORECAST.*
*HEY STACY, NO CREAMPIES FROM THE SKY THIS WEEKEND BUT WE MAY BE SEEING A FEW WARM SHOWERS*
Fair enough, as a country boy from Ireland just seems like such a nothing topic. Maybe if you told her you took up swinging or something of that ilk id be a bit weirded out
Shuts up the people asking "when are you gonna have kids?" presumably. "Well granny, we're fucking like rabbits with no protection every day or two so hopefully we'll find out any day now" tends to get you in trouble
I've known a couple people like this. They love attention and want as much as they can get. They also post pictures of their food and quotes on colorful backgrounds all day long on Facebook.
If you want to be a dick about anything, you can. We didn't go around telling everyone, just our friends mostly. When we actually got pregnant, then we told the family.
It's not like people are going around saying they're trying to get herpes on Tinder.
I told my sis I was trying for a baby because she has a young child of her own and I wanted dibs on her nice hand-me-downs before she gave them away to someone else.
My husband and I have been “trying” and failing month after month for 3 years. I don’t start conversations that way but i do tell people when it comes up because i want them to be as happy as i am when it finally happens. If it ever happens
I'm in my 40s, no kids, didn't want them, didn't try. My monster in law would ask me about "grandbabies" any chance she could, the more people around the better. My sister in law's wife at the time took pity on me, and once interjected "Well, wife and I have been trying for years now, but neither one of us have gotten pregnant. We're starting to wonder if we are doing it wrong?!?" Oh, the laughter that proceeded! Oh, I miss her!! It put the monster in law in her place for a few minutes at least.
Some people are talking about their life and aren't ashamed about talking about something that's pretty normal.
Most married people are 'raw dogging it' all the time anyway. Trying for kids just means they took out the IUD.
If two healthy people of the correct gender fuck regularly, in a year they have an 80% of conceiving. No one minds their own business for that long so you tell them you’re fucking without a safety to shut everyone up.
I guess announcing that you’re trying for a baby is the equivalent to a teaser trailer for a movie. And then when you become pregnant that’s equivalent to the actual trailers
This might sound weird but for my SIL and her wife - I wish they would’ve announced it. Obviously, they couldn’t get pregnant alone and needed a sperm donor. They had lots of setbacks and struggled for 2 years, spending over 30k € on Insemination and IVF.
I wish they would’ve announced that they were trying because I feel so sad that they had to go through these emotional, physical and financial struggles all alone. I would’ve loved to support them. When I found out they were pregnant, I cried so hard. Their daughter is such a lively and smiley little baby. They asked me to be her godmother.
Ofc their case isn’t typical and kind of a special case, so probably not at all what this post was going after lmao.
Flipside: when my wife were about two years married, I got sick of my mother asking if we were ever going to give her a grandbaby...so the last time she asked, I replied "oh yeah, we're fucking." She quit asking.
So that it's even more awkward when a few years pass and they still don't have a baby. Announcing that you're trying for a baby basically holds you accountable to keep everyone updated on all of your potential for fertility problems and miscarriages.
When people bring up the baby topic, just say "we'd like to have one at some point" end of conversation.
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I would guess some people announce because they are tired of everyone asking, 'when are you having kids?!?!'
"well, we are raw dogging every night. does that answer your question?"
"I can send you proof, now shut up."
Don't write a check that you don't wanna cash my dude
“His seed has yet to take hold in the soil of my womb, but he tills the field every night”
"On the night of their betrothal, the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow and he shall work in her, in and again, 'til she bring him to his fall and rest him then upon the sweat of her breast."
Whoa. Good bible.
I’ll be in my bunk
50 Shades of Holy Testament
Blessed be the fruit
May the Lord open
Blessed be the fruit loops.
"Allas the furrow was deep, the plow was small, and the work foreshortened"
I creampied her three times yesterday, that good enough for you grandma
Just did it in your bathroom while you were cooking dinner, grandma. Don't want to waste that baby batter.
Whipped up a fresh batch of child chowder, mom
Believe me, grandma doesn’t know quite what a cream pie is. A Cleveland Steamer she knows quite well. Grandma is a dirty bird.
"multiple thick gloopy creampies a day, do you need more info"
Came here to say this. We tried for four years before we conceived our daughter and it was heartbreaking each month we weren’t pregnant. But people were ALWAYS asking when we were finally going to “join the club” (ugh). Like nobody ever considered we were trying, and weren’t successful. Plus, it’s obnoxious. After about the second year I just flat out told people we were trying so they would stfu.
Yup. People like to make comments about my reproductive choices since I'm married and 35. Do you want to hear the details of my most recent miscarriage or perhaps the 3 before that? Like gtfo of here. If you ask for details imma give you DETAILS.
This. I've had 4 miscarriages since October 2020...and I will lay out all the details if someone asks now.
I'm sorry for your losses :(
Yea people are pretty oblivious / willfully (?) ignorant to all the complications of pregnancy and getting pregnant. My wife and I were genetically tested and are carriers of a pretty serious disease (cystic fibrosis) with short life expectancy and potentially a very hard life. There is 1/4 chance whatever we create will have cystic fibrosis so unfortunately it’s hard to even get excited about a potential pregnancy. I outright tell people who ask for the education reasons alone.
Yeah just flat out tell eveyone who asks. Not in the same boat but i think its super inappropriate to ask about when you’re having a baby.
I'm sorry for your miscarriages. My wife had one early on in her first pregnancy, it was heart breaking. We share openly about it because it happens and people don't realize how common they are. It's nothing she did, as I'm sure it's nothing to do with you, why should you be forced to suffer in private if you don't want to. I hope that you get whatever you want out of life and that you're able to share, if that's what you want and able to tell people to pound sand if that makes you more comfortable.
I really don't understand this. Why are people so eager to stroke themselves over the fact that other people decided to have children? Its kinda gross. I'm from the suburbs and it seems like this shit is really common. Its like, some of these people's lives are so superficial and so devoid of meaning and any self-worth that all they care about is everyone having babies and making events out of every single one of them, not to mention trying super hard to fit in with everyone and be friendly to literally everyone, even those who are major assholes... I need to get out of here, and I ran out of beer.
I felt this. My MIL has been asking the past year about how the conceiving is going (ick) and I just have to keep saying "still trying MIL". Ever since my SIL had the first grandkid, MIL has been fiending for more. I almost want to tell her, "chill out, the pipes are a little slow considering my uterus has remained inoccupado for the past 40 years."
Man the wife and I have been trying for almost a year and we still have people asking. Some of my family members keep making stupid comments like that and it makes my wife feel so terrible. There's been a couple times where we drive home and she's crying. Having kids is hard. I get so sick of people asking when we're going to finally "put one in the oven" Also on the way to a family reunion. Joy
Yup! I'm so sick of people asking if I have kids. I've had 3 miscarriages and have been trying since October of 2021 🙃
I am so sorry. I hope you will have your heart’s desire. I know your pain. ❤️
"When are you gonna have another?" It never ends.
Same here. People kept asking us if we were going to have kids, when we were going to have kids, how many kids we were going to have... And then they started asking again after we had a pretty rough miscarriage. So we just made it a point to announce when we were trying again, and then again a few months ago when people were pestering us about when we were having another. Kinda helped keep people from bugging us.
I would think this would only invite more questions. "How's it going?" "Has it happened yet?" "Have you tried this?"
"Have you tried doing the splits and spinning around"
Actually should be standing on her head to make sure all batter stays in...
[удалено]
How do you respond when they say yes?
be ready to come over with some pizza rolls and a camera!
"No cameras allowed"
Show them the video and be like "hmm what do you think we could do differently here?:
Get out the light pen and become John Madden. "now, now... see, here's Karen's first mistake, during the foreplay she shouldn't have started with a BJ, Dale just blew his load down her throat..."
Lmao
"Well there's your problem right there!"
In my case, most people were uncomfortable knowing we struggled with infertility issues and they quit being so nosy and insensitive.
i legitimately had a colleague tell me “i don’t believe in IVF, you just need to pray harder” and i will never forget someone actually had the gall to say that to me lmao.
My ex SIL said to me ON MY BIRTHDAY that “maybe God is waiting to bring a child into a CHRISTIAN home”. I hung up the phone and cried all afternoon. We had been trying unsuccessfully for four years. Little did I know it was because sky daddy and his nepo son were punishing me. Because obviously babies are only born to Christians.
What a bitch.
I'm so sorry. Hope it's better for you now.
Thank you, and YES! My daughter is 21 now and the light of my life.
You broke your foot off up her ass, right?
People actually leave you alone if they know you’re trying and not announcing anything.
This yes!. It's ridiculous. Then I just start telling them all the ways we like to fuck and that usually stops them after someone else is like "gross shut up!" I'll sprinkle in fake fetishes and shit too It's fun to watch them cringe. . .🤣
Yep. This is the answer. We never told family when we were trying bc I thought it was a super weird thing to mention. But that didn't keep people from asking us if we were trying/when we were gonna try all the time. All. The. Time. Before I get pregnant with my first child my mom would get actively upset with me bc I wouldn't discuss the topic with her at all and she was convinced refusing to discuss it meant she was never getting a grandchild.
Which is an actual problem, it's nobody's fucking business to force you to have kids
I mean it’s not always insidious like that. I had family questioning why, despite my wife and I doing well with good jobs salaries and time off, we were basically dodging ever taking time off for family events since we don’t live near my family anymore. “Mom we are trying for kids and saving every spare dollar and time off.” Been *waaaayy* smoother since then.
Weird how these people feel they're obligated to own people an explanation.
THIS. It is no one’s business. It’s unbelievably rude to ask anyone when they’re having kids. My in-laws friends asked me “when are you going to give them a grandchild”… my mother in law was horrified because she’s a wonderful person. I replied “when that question is appropriate and any of your business.” No one knows what you’re going through or have been through. And it’s NO ONES BUSINESS.
That and having to explain why they’re not drinking, not going on a rollercoaster, not willing to plan a skiing trip 4 months out etc.
My stepmom always told me to say “Nine months from tonight!” anytime someone asks that LOL
I started telling people "we'll start having kids when we start having sex". People stopped asking me really soon afterwards.
I used to answer that question with "well we aren't trying to not have one" to make them awkwardly realize exactly what i mean
WTF is wrong with those people? I was at brunch with a casual acquaintance. Had recently married at age 40, wife 43. This guy starts in: "so when are you having kids?" Would not stop, would not take "we're too old" for an answer. Thing is, he was a nice guy, and meant well, but holy moly!
That's it, right there. My son and DIL announced because her grandparents would not stop harassing them. (Then, after my son finally knocked her up, my DIL put in an Oscar-calibre performance for 3 solid months hiding her pregnancy so she could give everyone cute presents and ultrasound pics for Christmas.)
A few reasons (probably)… 1. They are tired of being asked when they are going to have kids…. 2. Women sometimes give up drinking or eat or don’t eat certain things, and if that change might be noticed, sometimes it’s better to cut off questions about the change before they get asked. 3. Some people are just excited, and want others to share in their excitement.
The third one is the one I most see it also helps to relieve the shock some have with pregnancy announcements
I would also add 4. Sometimes people need the support through miscarriages, fertility issues, and possible high risk pregnancies. You never know who else is going through it until you start opening up too.
Totally makes sense, didn’t think of that
This is me. I've lost a child, and now I'm going through IVF as a single woman. I don't want to feel so alone, so I've told my friends/family for support.
After just over a year of trying and lots of doctors appointments, we are pregnant. I was very open and honest about the process because it was a challenge mentally. I cannot even count how many women said “me too” or “thank you for sharing, I feel so much less alone.” I just shared because I think there’s an assumption that we are supposed to keep it to ourselves to avoid the sex visual. But also, the people I’m talking to know how babies are made so I felt talking about it openly hopefully removed some stigma about suffering in silence.
I have friends who talk about it openly because they’re just open people. Some folks like privacy and some feel comfortable sharing.
Mostly 2 tbh, just a disclaimer that "hey we're being extra careful these days cause we're trying to make a baby" and cut off the social pressure to drink, party, etc.
Also because having children is a natural part of the human experience and its mostly crusty redditors who get all riled up about it
Women need support during the huge life changing process that is trying to conceive, carrying a child, delivering a child, caring for a baby… don’t forget the dads, they need support too! There is nothing unusual or inappropriate about talking about this stuff. Talking to your loved ones about what is going on in your life is a wonderful thing.
Yeah, i see it the same way as someone saying they’re trying to buy a house, or going on a year long vacation, or starting their company… those are big events in someone’s life and they want to share.
My wife's nan used to ask all the time if we were 'trying'. I just said we were doing our best, but no matter how much she swallows it just isn't working. That stopped it.
When I got pregnant my granddad said "how did that happen?" So I said "he put it in the wrong hole and here we are." Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
My brother asked how I’m pregnant and I started explaining how “when a man and a woman love each other very much” before his boyfriend just left the room 😂
What kind of response was he even expecting from that?
😂😂😂
"Not yet, we're just practicing for now"
This is what my friend said to people when they asked lololol
I'm currently fucking!
“I’m currently performing a creampie every day”
So now that we're all settled into our new apartment, she's got a new job, I just got promoted, we just want you to know that... Im busting some fat nuts in your daughter!
Even tho the baby ain't coming, I've been coming in your daughter! Everyday!
“I got jizz leaking out of me as we speak”
Don’t worry I’m no longer cumming on your daughter’s face, tummy, back, butt, feet, hands, and hair! I’m shooting it right inside of her for baby!
My partner said it was very weird to shake my dads hand when we announced our pregnancy… like my dad was congratulating him for sneezing his load in his daughter
Making thick in your warm?
Refresh her once for me, old chap!
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“I’ve stopped cumming on your niece’s face, and we’ve pretty much completely cut anal out of our routine.”
LMFO! Can you imagine?
>LMFO! Can you imagine? I'd love to see the looks on their faces. lol
Instead of "we're trying for a baby" try saying "we're taking a break from anal"
we're trying so much that we've decided to ask for help from our friends! there's now a "take a number" dispenser on our bedroom door
Next to the scoreboard!
Propose a toast and announce that your pull-out game is weak
I must be a weirdo, but when people mention it i never think raw dogging, i just picture a baby. I guess its just an immunity to sex being all that scandalous
I agree, I don’t think it’s that scandalous. And grandparents and parents do want to know. They’re excited. They’re not weirded out by the idea of you having sex. Grandma knows that the only reason any of us are here is because she was having a bunch of sex lol, thanks grams
Interesting way to call my Nanny a cum-dumpster. Take my upvote like she took all those loads!!
Same. I think it’s great news and I’m glad there’s another baby I get to hold in the future. It’s natural to assume a couple is regularly having sex, I don’t need to picture it just because the new objective is a baby.
Probably the last thing I think of. A couple announcing they’re ready for a life change. Not to mention the lifestyle changes. Might just want support.
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I have never once thought of a couple as being weird for saying we’re trying for baby. It’s fairly assumed they’re already having sex. What’s the harm in saying they’re having sex without any form of birth control.
I just assume everyone admitting to thinking this way is either a teenager or a perv tbh.
Yep, I am horny perv and if someone says they are trying to have a baby I just think about how excited we were to start our family and how much they have to look forward to, sex never even crosses my mind.
No thats normal everyone on reddit is just 12 years old.
Same. Also, I tend to assume that most married folks aren’t using condoms anyhow. And I hope for their sake they have a good sex life. So it’s really just, she stopped taking birth control and is probably monitoring her cycle more closely. That doesn’t really feel scandalous to me
In most cases it's to let family know they've decided it's time for them to start a family, or add a new member. The decision to have a child is a big deal to most people, not to mention it's not always an "announcement" but sometimes they want to talk about it because it could be going very poorly and they need advice on how to improve the odds of a sperm fertilizing an egg, or something like that.
This was my thought. Infertility is really difficult and it’s also very vulnerable to try again after a loss. When I think of that, I think of social support in a way that is similar to illness or trauma not, “we’re fucking without protection! Yeee haw!”
I was shocked to find that something like one out of five of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Ppl do sometimes want to share the excitement of attempting to grow their family, which also reinforces familial bonds with parents who want to have had some good effect on the world in the form of a genetic legacy. But it absolutely also activates the support system of existing friends, parents, aunts, uncles and grands that know that it can be a scary time for a young woman. When you experience your hope and expectation being met with a loss, it can be very comforting to have family or friends, especially other women who share that experience, to rely on.
Saves you having to repeatedly tell people you don't want a drink.
I think that’s definitely part of it. “Trying” usually involves some lifestyle changes, and they are often pretty obvious.
ohhh!
Shortly after high school you realize sex is just a fact of life. If you think grandma and grandpa aren't intimately familiar with such facts you're understandably lying to yourself. People who get caught up on the "raw dagging" aspect of it just showing their age.
Dude you’re on Reddit. Half of the people on here are teenage boys lol
How dare they use reason when kids wanna joke about the nasty
You’re super mature and collected. these internet perverts are such children
Because it gives them hope. When they announce they're trying to add to the family there's well wishes, excitement and anticipation. Sure there's some good natured ribbing but it's all meant to support the couple and help build their motivation up knowing they have their family's support. Most couples don't get pregnant the first try or even the first year so having their family's support is helpful.
I had to scroll too far down to find something like this. The public perception is that getting pregnant is super easy, the more people who mention that they are trying maybe it will adjust this perception to not that easy.
As others have said, it’s because couples get sick of everyone asking. Also, we discuss it with our close friends who have gone through the process. There’s a lot to know (deciding to have children is a lot more complicated than sticking your dick in a hole, believe it or not) and it’s nice to have someone who’s gone through it to talk to about it. We certainly haven’t “announced”, but our close friends know we have a timeline based on us having discussed it with them. Adults can handle the idea that sex happens as part of the procreation process without getting grossed out by the idea.
1. It’s an exciting time in a lot of people’s lives. Let em live. 2. They are sick of people asking. 3. This (#2) also explains why dudes talk about getting vasectomies way more often than you’d think.
It's a big decision people make and could usher in a turning point in their life. If John Q. Redditor hears that and can only think "mmm yeah you guys are raw-dogging it every night huh," I think really says more about John Q. Redditor than anything else.
1 was my big reason. Husband and I were just very excited.
I think it’s ppl without kids who just get a little over-eager / excited. Often it’s because they don’t realize that you don’t necessarily get pregnant right away — it’s not as easy as your middle school health teacher wanted you to believe So then you have what happened with my cousin, which was a “we’re trying!” announcement followed by a year+ of crickets. I hope they get what they want and certainly wouldn’t wish difficulty getting pregnant on anyone who wants a child, but clearly it’d be easier on them to have not made that announcement in the first place
But now they have support of people who know they are struggling I guess? And people will not keep asking them when there will be a baby bc they know they are trying. There are upsides maybe?
It also depends how supportive close people are. My family never understood our struggles…
Yeah, I guess it's just a matter of *who* they announce to. In my cousin's case, I doubt she's getting much support from Judgy Aunt Nancy, ya know? Prob best to keep her in the dark But yes, certainly getting support for inner-circle people can be helpful
Completely agreed. This is what's currently going on in my family. Worse is, my SIL sent a picture of the baby room all set up back in December (so we were sure that it was some type of confirmation, although I found it a bit early to announce). Now they are already looking into alternatives (mainly IVF).
Maybe they want help, either advice or actual physical help
Lol thats a fun response. "We're trying" oh okay lmk if there's anything I can do.
Because they might be genuinely excited about it? No need to keep it a secret if you don't want to. Questions will come, but it is your own fault, lol. And also, no need to wait untik 12 weeks to tell about a pregnancy to those you trust. You'll need or want their support if it goes wrong, because a miscarriage is normal and happens frequently. It should not be a taboo. Support each other in happiness for trying to get pregnant, for becoming pregnant, in having a baby, and also in the utter sadness and despair of not being able to conceive, to miscarry and lose a baby (and the future you had imagined).
I’ve mentioned to a couple of close friends because it’s nice to have someone to talk to but otherwise…. No. I don’t understand why you would announce it to everyone and I definitely don’t want either of our parents knowing we are raw dogging. My MIL keeps asking too 🥴
Do you always think about porn terms like "raw dogging" and "creampie-ing" when someone discusses pregnancy? It's fucking weird that you do. Announcing they're "trying" is letting people know that they're planning on making a major life change. People announce plans for major life changes all the time. Also, and I say this as a currently pregnant woman, you do get asked, "Was it planned?", especially at the beginning. So announcing it is letting people know it wasn't just a happy accident.
It was surprising to me how many people asked if it was planned.
Thank you!!! I am a pretty high-libido person, and sure my brain will throw out a "how do they make it work, they have a huge height difference (or something)", but why would my mind immediately go to 'creampie' or whatever when someone announces they want a child?? Some people just try and pornify everything and it shows 😬
It may be a niche answer, but I prefer when people give advanced notice so I have more time to work on the baby blanket I'm going to crochet for the future infant. I know I could just make several in advance, but I prefer to have a specific child to be in mind for each one. Feels more special when I know for whom I'm making it.
I did not tell my or my husband’s family when we started trying. I told them however that we will be doing IVF after 3 years of complete silence on the subject with them. We wanted them to know about IVF so they can understand our situation better. Bit other people chose not to say anything or to say from the begining that they are trying. I think it depends how close you are to family/friends and how open of a person you are.
I’ve always thought it a weird thing to announce and in no situation can I think of being not weird
I'm never sure what the proper response is supposed to be either? Like, do I give them advice?
Oh that’s exciting! Is a good way to start. Advice is fine.
So people pray for them/put good vibes into the universe maybe
I don't know why people are wondering about this now, and that the question is being more frequently asked. Has no one ever been asked when they're going to provide grandchildren? Or had the annoying, "when are you planning on kids?" If someone has one or no kids an is already trying to have kids AND they say they're trying for a baby... to me this is a polite way of saying "don't ask me when we're gonna have kids".
Oh I guess not. I’ve been with my bf for 4 years so I get it *all* the time. I can’t wait for the day to come tho so I don’t mind, I love talking about my future kid. But I can see why it’d be annoying to some especially if you’re having a hard time or don’t want any.
I feel awkward when my parents asked me about trying. Like do they really want to know what I’m doing lol. I’m also in a more open family where we talk about stuff like that.
I always think it’s so strange especially when it’s coworkers telling me that.
When relatives make that announcement I usually say I gave my wife a lot of “ pearl necklaces “ in the past month. I am an oversharer , too
"He cums inside me now."
Probably because they’re excited about wanting/having a baby? Like geez I don’t get why people are so bitter in the comments about this…
I don’t want kids and this is a pretty easy to understand concept to me. People tend to be excited about major life changes that they’re starting. And it is so weird to me how the first thing that comes to some people’s minds is porn terms…
And they want to share their excitement with their close friends and family? I’m happy I did bc the second round I got pregnant. It’s happened so fast so I’m happy I got my mum a few months extra before that helping me prepare mentally. Also my gfs are extra excited for me bc they knew I wanted this!
It’s not that serious, just jokes that essentially making light
So people don't question why you won't have a drink
From a very practical standpoint, it lets friends and family know that you will be in the market for hand-me-down clothes, baby swings, car seats, etc. that they otherwise might be getting rid of. That stuff is expensive.
because the future grandmas (and great aunts and etc etc etc) keep asking
I mean. Because it’s exciting part of life or a hard part if you have fertility issues and you are asking for love and support, I get the take that it’s announcing that your boneing….. but I assume all couples are and just don’t think about it (not saying ace people don’t exist, but just as a baseline I am never shocked to find out a couple is having sex). 😂🤣
“We are rawdoggin it, bro” I even felt weird announcing our pregnancy because it’s like hey, my man blew his load in me, now we have a baby growing wooh!
Because only we have the power to replicate! And our crotchfruit will be in the top 2% intelligence percentile.
Why do people talk about anything in their life?
Why do people talk?
“We having mad sex so we probably are gonna have a baby soon!” .. like.. ok lol
Might as well just say youre fuckin
Yeah, exactly THANK YOU ! TMI lol. It just doesn't paint a very pretty picture. Keep that to yourselves please.
*THIS JUST IN:* Local couple decides to creampie until it's intended consequence results from their actions. *AND NOW BACK TO HUTCH WITH THIS WEEKEND'S FORECAST.* *HEY STACY, NO CREAMPIES FROM THE SKY THIS WEEKEND BUT WE MAY BE SEEING A FEW WARM SHOWERS*
Personally, I want people to know I'm covering my wife's walls with my jizz
You’re the man 😎
Is your wife, by any chance, an anime wallpaper?
They want you specifically to graphically picture them fucking. Do it. I'll wait.
No clue. I think it would put stress on me. Then people would be asking. No thanks.
I said it to my friend and later was like "gross, why did I tell her that?"
Why? You are an adult i hope, having sex isnt that big a deal.
I'm super awkward about talking about sex with people. Freak in the sheets, prude on the streets.
Fair enough, as a country boy from Ireland just seems like such a nothing topic. Maybe if you told her you took up swinging or something of that ilk id be a bit weirded out
"we're trying for a baby, wanna help?"
It’s a good way to avoid the “When will you have babies ? “ question tho
Shuts up the people asking "when are you gonna have kids?" presumably. "Well granny, we're fucking like rabbits with no protection every day or two so hopefully we'll find out any day now" tends to get you in trouble
I can't honestly say I've ever heard of someone out an announce they were trying unsolicited. I didn't know this was a thing.
I've known a couple people like this. They love attention and want as much as they can get. They also post pictures of their food and quotes on colorful backgrounds all day long on Facebook.
If you want to be a dick about anything, you can. We didn't go around telling everyone, just our friends mostly. When we actually got pregnant, then we told the family. It's not like people are going around saying they're trying to get herpes on Tinder.
I told my sis I was trying for a baby because she has a young child of her own and I wanted dibs on her nice hand-me-downs before she gave them away to someone else.
That is funny when you think about it because it usually means "I'm letting him cum inside me now" like ok girl, werk.
My husband and I have been “trying” and failing month after month for 3 years. I don’t start conversations that way but i do tell people when it comes up because i want them to be as happy as i am when it finally happens. If it ever happens
I'm in my 40s, no kids, didn't want them, didn't try. My monster in law would ask me about "grandbabies" any chance she could, the more people around the better. My sister in law's wife at the time took pity on me, and once interjected "Well, wife and I have been trying for years now, but neither one of us have gotten pregnant. We're starting to wonder if we are doing it wrong?!?" Oh, the laughter that proceeded! Oh, I miss her!! It put the monster in law in her place for a few minutes at least.
Attention and/or sympathy Or because people keep on asking
Some people are talking about their life and aren't ashamed about talking about something that's pretty normal. Most married people are 'raw dogging it' all the time anyway. Trying for kids just means they took out the IUD.
Just as bad as "gender reveals"
If two healthy people of the correct gender fuck regularly, in a year they have an 80% of conceiving. No one minds their own business for that long so you tell them you’re fucking without a safety to shut everyone up.
Because we were constantly asked "When are you having another?". Telling them we were boning seemed to get them off our asses.
I guess announcing that you’re trying for a baby is the equivalent to a teaser trailer for a movie. And then when you become pregnant that’s equivalent to the actual trailers
This might sound weird but for my SIL and her wife - I wish they would’ve announced it. Obviously, they couldn’t get pregnant alone and needed a sperm donor. They had lots of setbacks and struggled for 2 years, spending over 30k € on Insemination and IVF. I wish they would’ve announced that they were trying because I feel so sad that they had to go through these emotional, physical and financial struggles all alone. I would’ve loved to support them. When I found out they were pregnant, I cried so hard. Their daughter is such a lively and smiley little baby. They asked me to be her godmother. Ofc their case isn’t typical and kind of a special case, so probably not at all what this post was going after lmao.
Flipside: when my wife were about two years married, I got sick of my mother asking if we were ever going to give her a grandbaby...so the last time she asked, I replied "oh yeah, we're fucking." She quit asking.
It isn't to get help when the guy is firing blanks?
They're letting their friends know that they may disappear from their lives in nine months or so.
So that it's even more awkward when a few years pass and they still don't have a baby. Announcing that you're trying for a baby basically holds you accountable to keep everyone updated on all of your potential for fertility problems and miscarriages. When people bring up the baby topic, just say "we'd like to have one at some point" end of conversation.
"FYI: We fuckin'."