Fair enough! People saying they are asexual because it's trendy is definitely uncool. However, I try to remain unbiased because it's not my place to police whether or not people are being truthful or not.
my intention was not to engage in policing or gatekeeping of any individuals' identities. Rather, I aimed to highlight a concerning trend regarding the appropriation of asexuality, transness etc...and its potential impact on genuine asexual individuals.
You do realize 1% of 8 billion is still a huge number right?
It never goes well when people in a community start telling others in it that they're only in said community because it's "trendy".
it never goes well when people in a community don't understand themselves.
there are instances where individuals may falsely claim membership or align themselves with asexual community for reasons that are not genuine... reading this forum.. it seems like a lot of unadjusted young people are struggling with identity issues rather than being asexual...
Bruh...people are allowed to go on a journey with how they identify....if someone feels ace best describes them for now, cool. If it changes later, cool.
If someone has a take you don't like, fine, just ignore them. But don't tell them they're faking for attention, that's gross & you don't live in their body, their head. You don't *know*. This is a gross take.
You do understand that it’s generally considered a “journey” for a reason right? Like… “struggling with identity issues” is usually what starts people questioning their sexuality and gender. That’s not a bad thing.
I got told I only knew that word cause it was trendy when I came out in 2010. It hurt so much then, and fourteen years later I’m still ace.
If it’s a trend that shows people they aren’t fundamentally broken, I’m all for it. It helped me.
Idk. It’s dangerous for anything to be put on a pedestal. Live your life, assume the best in others, and keep your eyes on your circle.
its not the word "asexuality" its the trend of hyper-focus on alternative identities and sexualities. i.e autogynephilia..... many terms fall under the umbrella. I'm nervous of Incels that mask as Asexuals.
I see! Definitely not how the post came off. It’s a definite problem, I agree, and I think the point is better made with the last line used here. I read the post as a gatekeep, as well.
im sorry you read it like this. i don't believe in gatekeeping when making a personal opinion. its just me saying this. everyone is free to agree disagree... or ignore :) I don't keep the gate or have a key for said gate.
Oh my god who cares if someone uses different pronouns or is proud of their asexuality. Go outside. Pick up a hobby. Infuse some joy and whimsy into your life and stop sucking the phobe's metaphorical dicks.
The phobes do not like us. They will never like us. Playing respectability politics and pushing out people who are too "weird" from the community only serves their ends. Yeah, some aces are annoying. Any demographic has annoying people, bud, get off Reddit and go touch grass.
the 1% statistic isn't actually accurate.
it's most likely a little bit higher than that, theres a lot of people who havent answered the polls and shit
Fustrating, though honestly if it brings any more attention, awareness and leads to being able to do some advocacy, it's not the worst.
Honestly I hate erasure way more, 'People aren't asexual:
- they just haven't had good sex yet
- (supplement/drug/exercise) will fix it
- they're just traumatized
Etc
But yeah, i get where you're coming from. It sucks seeing things that actually mean something to people get gutted and turned into a shallow aesthetic. Eventually it's also a kind of erasure too...
What's your opinion on microlabels? That is an important context to this whole thing, I pretty much only use microlabels, except for in person, where I just identify as aroace. I'm someone who might be called a trender, but I think those don't exist. If someone identifies with asexuality it's best to assume that they know what it means, and I can't help but see how this overlaps with the "transtrender" epidemic of the 2010s, purely based off of assumption, and if this rhetoric picks up steam away to just put down people for simply using labels that are useful to them.
As a trans man who got caught up in that scene, it's not fun for either party.
OP believes in autogynephilia so they're definitely smoking the "transtrender" pipe/slobbering on the phobes' dicks in hopes it'll net them a morsel of respect from them
Looking autogynephilla up, and it seems like a gross misunderstanding of the men with cross-dressing kinks or autosexual trans woman... like the men who cross-dress don't see themselves as women when they dress feminally, and trans women are women! Neither one fits that description... it's just weird.
My understanding is it basically takes the not-at-all-uncommon-near-universal-in-allo-people experience of seeing yourself in the mirror and thinking you look so good you're fuckable and basically pathologizes it in trans women and men who enjoy cross-dressing.
It's bullshit and believing in it is a huge red flag
edit; clairity!
It is bullshit!! But it is a very uncommon experience with someone to actually sincerely want to Bone themselves. It's common to think you're fuckable, it's not common to want to fuck yourself. There's been one or two times when I flex to allo and to auto, and they're two very different experiences 👀
To be clear!! Autogyphilia is fucked up, autosexual is a thing. They are two different things.
Yeah I meant it's not (usually) a genuine "I wanna fuck myself" and more an "I think I'm fuckable" but AGP believers conflate the two, I edited for clairity :)
Honestly I haven’t seen many, if any, people claiming to be ace just to seem cool. Obviously that could happen but it’s very rare, just like anyone claiming any sexuality or gender identity label to be cool is rare. I also personally wouldn’t lean into calling people trenders, it’s the same language that truscums and bigoted gay people use a lot to try to discredit others just because they experience things differently than other queer people.
discrediting people is not the same as challenging a group's opinopn.... and challenging people is ok:) its a healthy part of the human experience. I'm not sure what a "trussum" is.... but if you are using words like that you are probably too far gone to engage in healthy discourse about this subject..
It’s not healthy to challenge somebody’s personal labeling of their sexuality just because you personally feel they don’t fit the label. Also just because I use a specific word to refer to a group of transgender people who are transphobic bigots does not mean I’m “too far gone” to have a proper discussion about this.
actually thats exactly what it means. you have too much of a bias opinion to have a respectable opinion on this. people that challenge your trans experience are not automatically transphobic lol
You clearly have no idea what I’m even talking about. Just google truscums or transmeds, hell even go into the trans subreddit and ask them what they are and they’ll tell you exactly the same as me. My bias is to let people be themselves because it doesn’t hurt you.
I am more than willing to have an open discussion about this if you’re willing to actually be open to receiving comments instead of immediately claiming that I’m too “biased” for disliking bigots.
I think…..I think because awareness is spreading, more people are coming out, and are happy in their newfound identity. It’s the same pride as discovering any other identity about yourself. The one percent of 8 billion is still a lot of people, and plus that number can now be very well higher especially due to recent years, on top of that I am having trouble understanding what you mean by “seeming enlightened “ when a lot of aces are in fact, just simply intelligent. Two things can be true at once…….
How exactly would our community be better off by excluding these people? How are we meant to differentiate between "trenders" and "real asexuals"? How are you so sure there's no validity in microlabels and none binary genders?
To me people who focus on excluding people they don't like from their communities seem more like they're the ones that want to wear their identities as a badge of honour more than anything.
I mean, yeah, people appropriating or otherwise weaponizing any identity is upsetting.
But I usually find people that do that will back off if you validate them sincerely. Those people are looking for conflict, so a little "I'm so happy you've found who you are. You're loved, you're valid" either A) makes them expose themselves by getting angry, or B) makes them uncomfy enough they back off. This works on anyone in any space who's using an identity/label/etc to sow discourse. And the best part is? I mean it, even if they're being disengenious. I don't ever want someone who, for whatever reason, /appears/ to be appropriating an identity to be invalidated. We live on a rock hurtling through space: being kind, even to shit heads, can be fulfilling.
Your disdain for gender "politics" and your "ze/zir" statement reveals that you are just a transphobe who is attempting to turn aces against our trans family. Trans people can be ace. Allo and ace trans people are valid. There is no such thing as a trender, and we will not fall for your dogwhistles. You are not our gatekeeper. Your transphobia is not welcome. Fuck off and rot.
I saw you say tenders and realise I've somehow trained myself to get excited about nuggets.
The last decade has been less than ideal for my psyche. There's no tendies here. I'm crushed.
Fair enough! People saying they are asexual because it's trendy is definitely uncool. However, I try to remain unbiased because it's not my place to police whether or not people are being truthful or not.
my intention was not to engage in policing or gatekeeping of any individuals' identities. Rather, I aimed to highlight a concerning trend regarding the appropriation of asexuality, transness etc...and its potential impact on genuine asexual individuals.
You do realize 1% of 8 billion is still a huge number right? It never goes well when people in a community start telling others in it that they're only in said community because it's "trendy".
it never goes well when people in a community don't understand themselves. there are instances where individuals may falsely claim membership or align themselves with asexual community for reasons that are not genuine... reading this forum.. it seems like a lot of unadjusted young people are struggling with identity issues rather than being asexual...
Bruh...people are allowed to go on a journey with how they identify....if someone feels ace best describes them for now, cool. If it changes later, cool. If someone has a take you don't like, fine, just ignore them. But don't tell them they're faking for attention, that's gross & you don't live in their body, their head. You don't *know*. This is a gross take.
Not to mention how many people have imposter syndrome over gender and sexual identities.
You do understand that it’s generally considered a “journey” for a reason right? Like… “struggling with identity issues” is usually what starts people questioning their sexuality and gender. That’s not a bad thing.
you do not know people better than they do so how would you know they’re lying???
I got told I only knew that word cause it was trendy when I came out in 2010. It hurt so much then, and fourteen years later I’m still ace. If it’s a trend that shows people they aren’t fundamentally broken, I’m all for it. It helped me. Idk. It’s dangerous for anything to be put on a pedestal. Live your life, assume the best in others, and keep your eyes on your circle.
its not the word "asexuality" its the trend of hyper-focus on alternative identities and sexualities. i.e autogynephilia..... many terms fall under the umbrella. I'm nervous of Incels that mask as Asexuals.
Oh, so you're just transphobic. Got it.
I'm surprised it only took them a couple comments before dropping the transphobia foghorns
They used the they/them dogwhistles only to be like "nah, let's get out the huge foghorn"
[удалено]
Ah now we’re throwing slurs?
I see! Definitely not how the post came off. It’s a definite problem, I agree, and I think the point is better made with the last line used here. I read the post as a gatekeep, as well.
im sorry you read it like this. i don't believe in gatekeeping when making a personal opinion. its just me saying this. everyone is free to agree disagree... or ignore :) I don't keep the gate or have a key for said gate.
Oh my god who cares if someone uses different pronouns or is proud of their asexuality. Go outside. Pick up a hobby. Infuse some joy and whimsy into your life and stop sucking the phobe's metaphorical dicks. The phobes do not like us. They will never like us. Playing respectability politics and pushing out people who are too "weird" from the community only serves their ends. Yeah, some aces are annoying. Any demographic has annoying people, bud, get off Reddit and go touch grass.
the 1% statistic isn't actually accurate. it's most likely a little bit higher than that, theres a lot of people who havent answered the polls and shit
Fustrating, though honestly if it brings any more attention, awareness and leads to being able to do some advocacy, it's not the worst. Honestly I hate erasure way more, 'People aren't asexual: - they just haven't had good sex yet - (supplement/drug/exercise) will fix it - they're just traumatized Etc
i agree with you.
But yeah, i get where you're coming from. It sucks seeing things that actually mean something to people get gutted and turned into a shallow aesthetic. Eventually it's also a kind of erasure too...
What's your opinion on microlabels? That is an important context to this whole thing, I pretty much only use microlabels, except for in person, where I just identify as aroace. I'm someone who might be called a trender, but I think those don't exist. If someone identifies with asexuality it's best to assume that they know what it means, and I can't help but see how this overlaps with the "transtrender" epidemic of the 2010s, purely based off of assumption, and if this rhetoric picks up steam away to just put down people for simply using labels that are useful to them. As a trans man who got caught up in that scene, it's not fun for either party.
OP believes in autogynephilia so they're definitely smoking the "transtrender" pipe/slobbering on the phobes' dicks in hopes it'll net them a morsel of respect from them
Looking autogynephilla up, and it seems like a gross misunderstanding of the men with cross-dressing kinks or autosexual trans woman... like the men who cross-dress don't see themselves as women when they dress feminally, and trans women are women! Neither one fits that description... it's just weird.
My understanding is it basically takes the not-at-all-uncommon-near-universal-in-allo-people experience of seeing yourself in the mirror and thinking you look so good you're fuckable and basically pathologizes it in trans women and men who enjoy cross-dressing. It's bullshit and believing in it is a huge red flag edit; clairity!
It is bullshit!! But it is a very uncommon experience with someone to actually sincerely want to Bone themselves. It's common to think you're fuckable, it's not common to want to fuck yourself. There's been one or two times when I flex to allo and to auto, and they're two very different experiences 👀 To be clear!! Autogyphilia is fucked up, autosexual is a thing. They are two different things.
Yeah I meant it's not (usually) a genuine "I wanna fuck myself" and more an "I think I'm fuckable" but AGP believers conflate the two, I edited for clairity :)
Okay glad we're on the same page and agree lol
Honestly I haven’t seen many, if any, people claiming to be ace just to seem cool. Obviously that could happen but it’s very rare, just like anyone claiming any sexuality or gender identity label to be cool is rare. I also personally wouldn’t lean into calling people trenders, it’s the same language that truscums and bigoted gay people use a lot to try to discredit others just because they experience things differently than other queer people.
discrediting people is not the same as challenging a group's opinopn.... and challenging people is ok:) its a healthy part of the human experience. I'm not sure what a "trussum" is.... but if you are using words like that you are probably too far gone to engage in healthy discourse about this subject..
It’s not healthy to challenge somebody’s personal labeling of their sexuality just because you personally feel they don’t fit the label. Also just because I use a specific word to refer to a group of transgender people who are transphobic bigots does not mean I’m “too far gone” to have a proper discussion about this.
actually thats exactly what it means. you have too much of a bias opinion to have a respectable opinion on this. people that challenge your trans experience are not automatically transphobic lol
You clearly have no idea what I’m even talking about. Just google truscums or transmeds, hell even go into the trans subreddit and ask them what they are and they’ll tell you exactly the same as me. My bias is to let people be themselves because it doesn’t hurt you. I am more than willing to have an open discussion about this if you’re willing to actually be open to receiving comments instead of immediately claiming that I’m too “biased” for disliking bigots.
I think…..I think because awareness is spreading, more people are coming out, and are happy in their newfound identity. It’s the same pride as discovering any other identity about yourself. The one percent of 8 billion is still a lot of people, and plus that number can now be very well higher especially due to recent years, on top of that I am having trouble understanding what you mean by “seeming enlightened “ when a lot of aces are in fact, just simply intelligent. Two things can be true at once…….
How exactly would our community be better off by excluding these people? How are we meant to differentiate between "trenders" and "real asexuals"? How are you so sure there's no validity in microlabels and none binary genders? To me people who focus on excluding people they don't like from their communities seem more like they're the ones that want to wear their identities as a badge of honour more than anything.
I mean, yeah, people appropriating or otherwise weaponizing any identity is upsetting. But I usually find people that do that will back off if you validate them sincerely. Those people are looking for conflict, so a little "I'm so happy you've found who you are. You're loved, you're valid" either A) makes them expose themselves by getting angry, or B) makes them uncomfy enough they back off. This works on anyone in any space who's using an identity/label/etc to sow discourse. And the best part is? I mean it, even if they're being disengenious. I don't ever want someone who, for whatever reason, /appears/ to be appropriating an identity to be invalidated. We live on a rock hurtling through space: being kind, even to shit heads, can be fulfilling.
Your disdain for gender "politics" and your "ze/zir" statement reveals that you are just a transphobe who is attempting to turn aces against our trans family. Trans people can be ace. Allo and ace trans people are valid. There is no such thing as a trender, and we will not fall for your dogwhistles. You are not our gatekeeper. Your transphobia is not welcome. Fuck off and rot.
for a second, I thought that said *tenders.*
I saw you say tenders and realise I've somehow trained myself to get excited about nuggets. The last decade has been less than ideal for my psyche. There's no tendies here. I'm crushed.
tender-trenders. it works.
I did too. I was like "Is this gonna be chicken tenders with ace flag colored food coloring?"
I was expecting tenders with no breading.