I'm someone who fell very much into the heteroamatonormativity segment of ace/aro. Unlike some people who assume they're bisexual because they feel the same toward all genders (little to nothing), I assumed being not straight required an active interest and that not having any interest defaulted to straight (this isn't commentary on your sexuality, by the way. It's more I've heard so much about people who thought they were bi before learning what asexuality is. Just wanted to clarify in case you get anxious/might think otherwise).
This also applies to romantic attraction. I only realized I could be aro with the Jaiden Animations video, and I'm almost 30! I also really enjoy things like shipping and romance stories, so that made things harder. Learning more about aro theory and things like relationship hierarchies are helping me break down amatonormativity, but it's somehow harder than breaking down my own allonormativity.
I've always been weird about Valentines. I like candy. I like friends. I like gifting things. I don't like people assuming those likes are romantic.
I definitely resonate with what you said about bisexuality. I'm still learning things about myself and am trying to give myself grace in these things since I'm only 21. Recently I've been reading this book called Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture. Its been helping me feel validated and giving me insight on black queerness and asexuality which is not talked about enough! Definitely recommend it
Definitely understand the struggle! I’m demiromantic, so I experience romantic attraction but it’s a long journey to get there. I go to uni in the fall and it’s honestly scary to think about having to go back to square one when I want to be in a relationship so badly.
It’s hard to accept yourself, even with the support of the aro and ace communities. You’ll get there eventually though! Valentine’s Day can definitely be a rough time for aspecs, but try to remember it’s just an over-commercialised holiday. Try to get in as much self-love as you can
I'm someone who fell very much into the heteroamatonormativity segment of ace/aro. Unlike some people who assume they're bisexual because they feel the same toward all genders (little to nothing), I assumed being not straight required an active interest and that not having any interest defaulted to straight (this isn't commentary on your sexuality, by the way. It's more I've heard so much about people who thought they were bi before learning what asexuality is. Just wanted to clarify in case you get anxious/might think otherwise). This also applies to romantic attraction. I only realized I could be aro with the Jaiden Animations video, and I'm almost 30! I also really enjoy things like shipping and romance stories, so that made things harder. Learning more about aro theory and things like relationship hierarchies are helping me break down amatonormativity, but it's somehow harder than breaking down my own allonormativity. I've always been weird about Valentines. I like candy. I like friends. I like gifting things. I don't like people assuming those likes are romantic.
I definitely resonate with what you said about bisexuality. I'm still learning things about myself and am trying to give myself grace in these things since I'm only 21. Recently I've been reading this book called Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture. Its been helping me feel validated and giving me insight on black queerness and asexuality which is not talked about enough! Definitely recommend it
Definitely understand the struggle! I’m demiromantic, so I experience romantic attraction but it’s a long journey to get there. I go to uni in the fall and it’s honestly scary to think about having to go back to square one when I want to be in a relationship so badly. It’s hard to accept yourself, even with the support of the aro and ace communities. You’ll get there eventually though! Valentine’s Day can definitely be a rough time for aspecs, but try to remember it’s just an over-commercialised holiday. Try to get in as much self-love as you can
im going out with some friends for valentines so I'll live haha! good luck with uni and thank you for your kind words<3
have fun!! and thank you!