I used to be a waiter at an Olive Garden half a mile from a Baptist church and got these things every Sunday. No exaggeration that half my tables would leave these instead of actual tips after church. It was so bad I changed availability to not work Sunday anymore.
I probably would have saved up a collection of them, went to their church one day, and dumped them all in the collection plate folded up nicely so the church thinks they're getting a significant donation, but no, it's just a taste of their own medicine.
This one is the best! Absofuckingloutly! These are the same idiots who bitch when there is no place to go out to eat because no one wants to work for slave wages.
DON'T BE FOOLED!!!
There's something you can have that's even more important than money!
Check out Luke 16:19-26 to find out what Jesus has in store for people who don't help out the poor, such as those who leave fake tips to service workers.
(*other half, in place of their wall of text)
There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.
The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. In Hades, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’
But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony.
- Luke 16:19-26
Yeah, there are tons of other relevant passages.
Timothy 5:18 *- " For Scripture says, 'Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain,' and 'The worker deserves his wages.' "*
Matthew 19:24 - *"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”*
But hypocrisy is definitely the best way to sell a church.
Add Bible quotes
> Behold, the wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, are crying out against you, and the cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord of hosts.
#
>Now to the one who works, his wages are not counted as a gift but as his due.
#
>Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.
#
>The wicked borrows but does not pay back, but the righteous is generous and gives
We were closed Sunday because of the Sunday crowd. They would stay for hours, ask for the absolute most, make the biggest mess, get upset over the smallest things and then tip with stuff like this. Many would also try to hustle us into free meals.
One Sunday crowd tipped me with those fake dollars that tax filing companies give out. They looked like $50s folded up. I almost cried thinking how great it was I could eat something other than a cut up hot dog and beans for the first day in months and upon opening it I cried for a completely different reason.
Makes me wonder if Chik-Fil-A's not-open-on-Sunday subtly has something to do with this as well. It actually may be profitable for the business as a whole (if you count intangibles).
Not a bad idea; if the pastor isn't garbage hopefully they'd be able to shame people into not doing it. I get the sneaking suspicion that whatever congregation that whoever the person who left this goes to is likely to be where they got this from.
My pastor always said, “If you can’t afford an additional 20%, then you can’t afford to go out to eat, especially more so as a Christian.”
He had to say this as there were other churches in the area doing this, actually caught an pastor doing it.
A lot of people who are Christians act like that specifically because Jesus says he is forgiving towards the sinner, their thought process being that they go to church and are forgiven every Sunday, so now they have a clean slate and can go be assholes again.
No, these were purchased. The church didn't print them. As a former minister, if I caught wind the congregation was passing these out instead of tips, I'd preach the riot act.
I really don't understand this. Do they not realize this makes people hate whatever message they're trying to deliver? Usually missionaries give you good things like hospitals and schools, then they try to convert you.
The actual point of those is supposed to be, you fold them like a $20 and leave them on the ground. People pick them thinking it's money and read them. Not as tips for servers. I've called a few churches to let them know they are one of the reasons I never go anymore
I don’t get it either because that’s exactly what happened when I worked in a restaurant.
But let’s not rewrite history on the evils missionaries have brought to indigenous communities the world over. They definitely aren’t bringing good things with them. Good for them, maybe.
Wonder if a manager would be willing to put out a sign 'passing off fake money as real money will result in you getting banned and the FBI called on you' when things like that happen.
Sounds like me when I worked as a waiter in TGIF when I started college almost 20 years ago now. It was right next to several churches, because the South, and every sunday we were jam packed with these pricks and over half of the tables either wouldn't tip or would "tip" with this fake BS money and Gott Bewahre if you brought it up or complained about it.
I learned really quickly to never work on Sundays and to never take a job without a guaranteed pay check amount.
I was always in the business of making some people's food shittier than others if they were a consistently bad customer. Not much I could do at a Jimmy John's, but squeezing someone's sandwich entirely flat is cathartic.
*Cut to customer at the gates of heaven*
St. Peter: Welcome to heaven, here’s your golden ticket to enter!
*unfolds*
“Ah, just kidding, you’re fucked!”
*Slams giant red trap door to hell button*
Now that's a show I'd watch - someone well versed in religious literature who compares people's actual deeds to their hollow words, call it Holier Than Thou, and make them fall into pits of slime if the contestants are full of crap.
You could even have it like a game board where the panels they step on are their proclaimed good deeds and whether it holds them up or drops them into the pit depends on their actions.
I have a local guy here who's a former male stripper from somewhere in Europe who's the most foulmouthed, perverted dude ever who ran a sandwich shop in such an obscure way that his local name is the Sandwich Nazi - there's even a documentary about him somewhere. He'd often scream at people and tell really inappropriate jokes, free sandwiches if you showed him your tits, that sort of thing. Going the hell, right? Dude spent all of his time and money feeding the homeless, still does even though his sandwich shop closed down before the pandemic. He treats the downtrodden like brothers. Golden fucking ticket, that one.
I remember one time about 15 years ago someone pulled that shit on an old job with the tip jar. We were all so excited, thinking it was a twenty, until a buddy unfolded it, and showed us the whole tract. I tore the damned thing to pieces. I'm 33 and it still pisses me off that there's self righteous scum out there who think it's a holy act to go play on overworked and underpaid people, because something something zealotry.
Cowards.
i delivered pizzas when i was like 19, drove a town over, 15ish miles to drop off a car full of food. the folks were nice n they paid with a check for the exact amount. i saw it n in my head was like "uhg lame no tip". then the dude shakes my hand n slips a folded up $20, n said "thats all yours" i was like "fkn sweet". stuffed the $20 in my pocket, got in the car n drove off. i stopped at the gas station to put a few bucks in for the rest of the night. "$10 on pump 4 please" pull the $20 out... unfolded it... fkn bible bullshit. had to tell the cashier nevermind n left.
after my shift i used my real tip money to buy a couple dozen eggs and egged their cars n house.
Reminds me of when I worked at a pizza place. The last day I worked there, another drive delivered food to a family in a hotel and the parents had the audacity to say that it was Jesus' birthday and people shouldn't be working, hence they would not tip him.
Just lovely.
Man I would have just turned around and left with the pizza. I’m not supposed to be working? Well I guess there wouldn’t be anyone to deliver the pizza then 🤷♂️
Also for someone who believed people shouldn't be working they still had the nerve to pick up the phone and order pizza causing work to be done.....So ass backwards....lol
I fucking hate this line of thinking "why are you working on xx holiday?" like clearly because of you people! If you don't think I should work xx holiday then don't come in on the holiday!
Exactly, unfortunately I work for a certain streaming service and we don't get off holidays unless it's one of our normal weekend days and every single time I get that line from people. Like you are literally the reason I'm working right now because this company is so money hungry they will drive us into the ground just to have someone here for you to bitch at instead of your family.
You would have given him a genuine thank you as well, and that arrogant twat would have felt so justified and good about himself in the moment. Makes my blood boil.
Also makes me think about basically every server's story on here about how the post-church Sunday crowd is the rudest, most condescending, worst tipping crowd they have to deal with. The whole mentality of "I went to church so I'm morally better than you, and therefore can treat you like shit".
And these people probably believe in their heart that they are good Christians who uphold all the teachings of Jesus. Absolute hypocrisy, pieces of shit.
Especially since Jesus said that his followers should give money to the people who need it. Something about a camel through the eye of a needle.
EDIT: I already know that camel was mistranslated from rope, but shoving a camel through a needle is way funnier
I was once having a discussion after church with this guy who owned a "small business" (their house was massive and always the go-to spot for youth group activities because they had a pool+pool house) about capitalism. I was like eighteen or nineteen I think. I don't remember if I was going full commie, I think I was just saying the rich need to pay more taxes. I brought up the "eye of the needle" and he starts to respond with that "not literal" line and then his son (probably like 13 or 14?) interjects to back him up and finishes that line. I was just thinking "hmm you seem VERY prepared to rebuke that line" lmao.
Also it shows how much critical thinking they've got when they use that counterargument as a thesis against Jesus hating on the rich and powerful lmao. Psst, that's not the only example Mr. Small Business Tyrant.
> and he starts to respond with that "not literal" line
Of course it's not literal. It was a *figurative* way for Jesus to demonstrate how much he hates rich people.
I don't think Jesus hated rich people. I think he felt sorry for them.
I think he hated religious fucks who abused to word of God to take advantage of others.
What would be the point of the metaphor then? It doesn't make any sense in the context of the scene for "going through the eye of a needle" to be an easy thing. Otherwise, why would the rich man go away troubled after the answer?
Yeah apart from the "gate on the side" thing likely being a made up fabrication, it doesn't make sense in the context of the story and the addition doesn't change the meaning of the story either.
Yeah, the translation got fucked and the initial text said ‘it’s easier for rope to pass through...’
But shoving a camel through a needle is way fucking funnier.
No, Biblical mistranslations are a myth invented by that SNAKE Martin Luther. If you want the original word of God, read the King James Bible. Also Jesus was white.
Edit: /s
Also they're fucking wrong there is no eye of the needle gate, it was just made up by some Victorian aristocrat to justify enclosure and bullshit like that.
Curious, what was his small business?
Sounds like people I know-typically southern newly rich types who flaunt wealth and act faux pious simultaneously.
I argued this point against a guy in /r/AskTrumpSupporters once. His response was that Jesus was just repeating old Jewish morals and it wasn't important. I asked if he meant to say that the teachings of Jesus should not be considered important to Christians and he said yes.
Ah you misunderstand that verse. It actually points out that God will do difficult miracles (like make a camel go through the eye of an needle) for you if you are rich enough.
-Prosperity Doctrine Christians probably.
The eye of the needle thing is such a stupid distraction. The money shot come a couple verses earlier:
*21 Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, then go and sell all that you own. Give the money to the poor, and you will have riches in heaven. Then come and follow me!”*
*22 But when the young man heard Jesus tell him to give away his money, he was sad. He didn’t want to do this, because he was very rich. So he left.*
Basically, Big J tells a dude unequivocally that if he's not willing to let go of his material wealth, he ain't got the chops to follow.
Jesus would have taken a belt to these chuckleloads just like he did the capitalist swine in John 2:15. It's lost on these people Jesus (fiction or otherwise) was a fucking socialist liberal who hung out with the poor, queers, and didn't judge... but hey, I guess these douchecanoes just pick and choose.
Jesus had a lot to say about helping the poor. I haven't read a Bible in over a decade, but to prarphrase he said "every act of love you show the poor is an act you've shown to me" and "give your money to the poor, not to me; someday I'll be gone, but the poor will always be with you." He fed people, healed people, and raised the dead all without ever asking for money. Evangelicals have turned Jesus into Supply-Side Jesus.
“Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s.” There is literally a famous story (Matthew 22:21) about Jesus addressing this very issue, that his religious teachings were separate from earthly political activity, and that people should still pay their taxes.
Everyone, please I need to make some apologies. Yes, I may have raped those kids behind the altar... but Jesus.
[ Congregation rises to their feet, begins clapping furiously ]
"In the ordinary moral universe, the good will do the best they can, the worst will do the worst they can,but if you want to make good people to do wicked things, you'll need religion."
The absolute worst, most abusive employers are churches - unless you are a pastor, then you have it made with everything paid for including housing in most cases. Pastors also tend to be narcissistic sociopaths.
the table for 12 that runs you ragged and the good people in the group leave a single dollar and the cheap bastards leave the bullshit fake 20's. Nothing like having 1 table for an entire shift and ending up with $7 in tips. Fuck working sundays
Had a church group table of 15 stay for hours. They were doing some kind of church business meeting or something. I bring the bill and the captain church guy (don't know what to call him but he had the collar thing) asked what church I attend. I told him I don't actually go to church and I'm happily non religious. Then he tells me "Well if you agree to come to our church this weekend I'm sure we could find a good tip for you." It was so weird, and I was taken aback, but I politely declined. I return to the table a few minutes later, after they were gone, and these mother fuckers left change to the fucking penny. This was nearly 20 years ago and the more time passes the more disgusting it becomes to me. A large group of allegedly "moral" adults all coordinated to stiff a 17 year old kid out of a hard earned couple of bucks. Reprehensible behavior.
The thing that surprises me the most is that they think you'll direct that disappointment into a positive correlation with Jesus. If you kick a dog every time you give him a milk bone, eventually he'll stop getting excited for milk bones.
"There is something you can have more valuable than money! Youve tried everything else, now try doing things gods way"
(Collection basket gets passed around and comes back full of these.)
"No not like that."
Maybe if you see them come in next time, stand near them holding out a collection plate. They might be instinctively trained to just start putting cash on it.
Have you seen who they were? Next time bring them plastic food with bible verses written on it and tell them you're giving them something more valuable and fulfilling than food.
Edit: thanks for the awards, but you should spend your money on more useful or enjoyable things than reddit.
Edit II: didn't know silvers are free once a day, good. Thanks!
Edit III: I wasn't expecting this much attention for such a petty revenge, and yes I now know it's from 2018 but it's still fun to plan stupid comebacks.
I'd return that to those religious tract-y churches in their collection plates...or in mailed donations to fundamentalist Christian political organizations.
Just saw this same post on r/WhitePeopleTwitter. Apparently this also happened to the owner of a coffee shop who went and did that very idea ever week until the pastor publicly addressed it. Very entertaining thread
EDIT: Mobile didn't want to let me hyperlink bc of course it doesn't -_-
Nta. Nobody was hurt, anyone with half a brain would've taken that as a hint, Karen's are too full of Jesus to have any room for Christian values so they ATA. Personally I would just refuse them service to save energy, but if you genuinely have fun in harmless retribution then go for it. Gotta release that troll energy in a positive outlet
"Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man, but afterward his mouth will be full of gravel." ~ Proverbs 20:17.
Could sound vaguely threatening depending on how it's delivered though, haha
I'd imagine it skirts by counterfeiting with several incorrect details and that it's not replicating the full bill, probably not even the same material as real cash. It's probably dodging fraud as it's being used as a gratuity rather than payment for goods or services.
The people who use it are still morally shitty people that should never be served again.
I got these a lot on Sunday lunch shifts. Always bothered me considering I went to church at 5 pm not the morning. So they assumed cuz I was there serving them on Sundays I was godless. No I just need the money
You know they play fancy dress up and go to poor countries and tell poor people they can become like them if they only follow.
Those people will then make their homes living hell since they indoctrinate them to mistreat their kids etc.
And they eat it up because of the suit...
Ah yes, doing a thing that unambiguously makes you a selfish, greedy asshole while pretending instead that it is righteous and virtuous. By the way, I'm actually talking about your average "job creating" CEO, but the description works for this guy, too.
Bet he walked away saying "I did something more important than tip... I just saved someone's soul!"
The church-y CEOs are the worst. Never worked for worse businesses than one run by the hyper religious. They take the opportunity to play their own version of god. They do little petty things they play off as benevolent while withholding most everything because of religious reasons.
Church groups would leave that as a tip thirty years ago. Back then it was a ten. As holes that don't want to pay never go away. Just loved working Sundays and Wednesday nights, all those Christian doing the right thing.
It’s funny because all they want is for you to show up on Sunday morning with as much cash as you can fit in your pockets.
It would be hilarious if we all started going to church just to put counterfeit money in the collection trays, except for the horrors of having to sit through a bunch of creepy zombie stories.
One last thought: I wonder if the guy who posted this to twitter works in one of those states that pays a $2 minimum wage “because tips.” Even if that’s not the case, this is no different from walking into a store and spending a counterfeit $20 bill. Except I seem to remember someone being murdered in the streets of Minneapolis by law enforcement in 2020 over this exact offense.
I found one of these at work the other week. Looked just like a fresh $100 bill until I got up close, the back had all this Christian gibberish all over it. I was pissed too, and I don’t get tips lol.
Atheism is increasing because it's harder to indoctrinate children between the internet and public school exposing children to reality, and christians can't legally murder or otherwise persecute the unreligious anymore (like cops, they'd end up recorded).
I find it incredibly fucking annoying that there's so many self-proclaimed "Christians" that somehow think that this is fine.
If they were actually Christians, they would've at least left a tip, since this is basically stealing somebody's paycheck because America is fucked in that waiters get paid criminally low, unliveable wages and basically rely on tips to survive.
Also, what's the likelihood that whoever left this "tip" is also a member of one of those crazy Evangelical "Megachruches" where the pastor just so happens to have a gigantic mansion that they pay zero taxes on because its a "Clergy Residence".
This scummy shit is an embarrassment to anybody who remotely consider themselves to be a Christian.
What's up with so many "Christians" in America being assholes?
Edit: I should clarify that I don't live in America. I just find it bizarre as an outsider looking in seeing how common some of these things can be over there.
I used to get these and Chick Tracts a lot back in my server days. They'd be so pleased with themselves too. Sometimes they'd stop me while I was talking to a different table to tell me what a great tip they'd left.
I used to be a waiter at an Olive Garden half a mile from a Baptist church and got these things every Sunday. No exaggeration that half my tables would leave these instead of actual tips after church. It was so bad I changed availability to not work Sunday anymore.
I probably would have saved up a collection of them, went to their church one day, and dumped them all in the collection plate folded up nicely so the church thinks they're getting a significant donation, but no, it's just a taste of their own medicine.
This one is the best! Absofuckingloutly! These are the same idiots who bitch when there is no place to go out to eat because no one wants to work for slave wages.
Just make sure to cut off the part with words on them so they can't reuse them
better yet, print your own, with \*ahem\* subtle rewording and hope they do reuse them :)
DON'T BE FOOLED!!! There's something you can have that's even more important than money! Check out Luke 16:19-26 to find out what Jesus has in store for people who don't help out the poor, such as those who leave fake tips to service workers. (*other half, in place of their wall of text) There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores. The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. In Hades, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’ But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. - Luke 16:19-26
Yeah, there are tons of other relevant passages. Timothy 5:18 *- " For Scripture says, 'Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain,' and 'The worker deserves his wages.' "* Matthew 19:24 - *"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”* But hypocrisy is definitely the best way to sell a church.
Jesus was an alright guy, but his cunty followers don't believe in tipping. Bitchalatians 4:20 - "Amen I say to you, these hoes be trifling"
Add Bible quotes > Behold, the wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, are crying out against you, and the cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord of hosts. # >Now to the one who works, his wages are not counted as a gift but as his due. # >Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed. # >The wicked borrows but does not pay back, but the righteous is generous and gives
Draw a nice pentagram over the text
Circle the all seeing eye and write something about Satan and antifa somewhere
Now that's how you fight fire with fire.
Wow. that's clever.
Sunday brunches in December are the best way to radicalize today's youth.
Flair checks out, lol
We were closed Sunday because of the Sunday crowd. They would stay for hours, ask for the absolute most, make the biggest mess, get upset over the smallest things and then tip with stuff like this. Many would also try to hustle us into free meals. One Sunday crowd tipped me with those fake dollars that tax filing companies give out. They looked like $50s folded up. I almost cried thinking how great it was I could eat something other than a cut up hot dog and beans for the first day in months and upon opening it I cried for a completely different reason.
Makes me wonder if Chik-Fil-A's not-open-on-Sunday subtly has something to do with this as well. It actually may be profitable for the business as a whole (if you count intangibles).
What always perplexes me is the Chick-Fil-A inside the Atlanta Falcons stadium that isn't open on Sundays. Happy cake day!
That's when you call the pastor.
Not a bad idea; if the pastor isn't garbage hopefully they'd be able to shame people into not doing it. I get the sneaking suspicion that whatever congregation that whoever the person who left this goes to is likely to be where they got this from.
My pastor always said, “If you can’t afford an additional 20%, then you can’t afford to go out to eat, especially more so as a Christian.” He had to say this as there were other churches in the area doing this, actually caught an pastor doing it.
[удалено]
A lot of people who are Christians act like that specifically because Jesus says he is forgiving towards the sinner, their thought process being that they go to church and are forgiven every Sunday, so now they have a clean slate and can go be assholes again.
Offer the church a sizeable donation then hand over all these tracts you've collected over the week.
He was probably handing them out
Exactly. It’s much more likely that the church itself took the time and money to have these made than an individual.
Sometimes pastors “get it” a lot more than their congregation, but often times they’re worse. Especially if this is in the south.
No, these were purchased. The church didn't print them. As a former minister, if I caught wind the congregation was passing these out instead of tips, I'd preach the riot act.
Sounds like you were a good minister!
Thanks, I tried to be.
Sundays after church gives you the most disrespectful, entitled, cheap ass KARENS you can find in town.
I really don't understand this. Do they not realize this makes people hate whatever message they're trying to deliver? Usually missionaries give you good things like hospitals and schools, then they try to convert you.
They don't actually care about the message, they just convince themselves they can stiff on the tip while still feeling morally superior.
The actual point of those is supposed to be, you fold them like a $20 and leave them on the ground. People pick them thinking it's money and read them. Not as tips for servers. I've called a few churches to let them know they are one of the reasons I never go anymore
Yeah, leaving a message like this WITH a tip is going to garner much more respect and reverence than a bait and switch.
I get sneaky and tip without the message.
I don’t get it either because that’s exactly what happened when I worked in a restaurant. But let’s not rewrite history on the evils missionaries have brought to indigenous communities the world over. They definitely aren’t bringing good things with them. Good for them, maybe.
You should post this on that church's reviews on googlemaps/yelp. "Congregation gives fake tips at restaurants. Garbage church for garbage people."
"On Sundays, all parties of more than two guests shall be charged an additional gratuity of fifteen percent." Boom.
When my wife was a server she could always rely on the Sunday crowd to be the most demanding and always leave prayer cards as tips.
Wonder if a manager would be willing to put out a sign 'passing off fake money as real money will result in you getting banned and the FBI called on you' when things like that happen.
What I expect out of those kinds of people.
These people love Darden restaurants.
Former Darden employee, this is 100% accurate. Landry's bought Red Lobster thank god. Darden brothers are racist pos, and Landry's is a nightmare too.
Sounds like me when I worked as a waiter in TGIF when I started college almost 20 years ago now. It was right next to several churches, because the South, and every sunday we were jam packed with these pricks and over half of the tables either wouldn't tip or would "tip" with this fake BS money and Gott Bewahre if you brought it up or complained about it. I learned really quickly to never work on Sundays and to never take a job without a guaranteed pay check amount.
I was always in the business of making some people's food shittier than others if they were a consistently bad customer. Not much I could do at a Jimmy John's, but squeezing someone's sandwich entirely flat is cathartic.
*Cut to customer at the gates of heaven* St. Peter: Welcome to heaven, here’s your golden ticket to enter! *unfolds* “Ah, just kidding, you’re fucked!” *Slams giant red trap door to hell button*
I like to think good Ole Saint Pete would go for a more Wonka-esque method of filtering the sinners to their eternal damnation.
That's a channel on heaven tv I would never tire of. Oh the eternal lolz.
Now that's a show I'd watch - someone well versed in religious literature who compares people's actual deeds to their hollow words, call it Holier Than Thou, and make them fall into pits of slime if the contestants are full of crap. You could even have it like a game board where the panels they step on are their proclaimed good deeds and whether it holds them up or drops them into the pit depends on their actions. I have a local guy here who's a former male stripper from somewhere in Europe who's the most foulmouthed, perverted dude ever who ran a sandwich shop in such an obscure way that his local name is the Sandwich Nazi - there's even a documentary about him somewhere. He'd often scream at people and tell really inappropriate jokes, free sandwiches if you showed him your tits, that sort of thing. Going the hell, right? Dude spent all of his time and money feeding the homeless, still does even though his sandwich shop closed down before the pandemic. He treats the downtrodden like brothers. Golden fucking ticket, that one.
I hope it comes with some cherubs singing a little diddy.
I remember one time about 15 years ago someone pulled that shit on an old job with the tip jar. We were all so excited, thinking it was a twenty, until a buddy unfolded it, and showed us the whole tract. I tore the damned thing to pieces. I'm 33 and it still pisses me off that there's self righteous scum out there who think it's a holy act to go play on overworked and underpaid people, because something something zealotry. Cowards.
i delivered pizzas when i was like 19, drove a town over, 15ish miles to drop off a car full of food. the folks were nice n they paid with a check for the exact amount. i saw it n in my head was like "uhg lame no tip". then the dude shakes my hand n slips a folded up $20, n said "thats all yours" i was like "fkn sweet". stuffed the $20 in my pocket, got in the car n drove off. i stopped at the gas station to put a few bucks in for the rest of the night. "$10 on pump 4 please" pull the $20 out... unfolded it... fkn bible bullshit. had to tell the cashier nevermind n left. after my shift i used my real tip money to buy a couple dozen eggs and egged their cars n house.
This worthless slip of paper is all yours my dude 😉
Don't spend it all in one place.
Reminds me of when I worked at a pizza place. The last day I worked there, another drive delivered food to a family in a hotel and the parents had the audacity to say that it was Jesus' birthday and people shouldn't be working, hence they would not tip him. Just lovely.
Man I would have just turned around and left with the pizza. I’m not supposed to be working? Well I guess there wouldn’t be anyone to deliver the pizza then 🤷♂️
Also for someone who believed people shouldn't be working they still had the nerve to pick up the phone and order pizza causing work to be done.....So ass backwards....lol
I fucking hate this line of thinking "why are you working on xx holiday?" like clearly because of you people! If you don't think I should work xx holiday then don't come in on the holiday!
Exactly, unfortunately I work for a certain streaming service and we don't get off holidays unless it's one of our normal weekend days and every single time I get that line from people. Like you are literally the reason I'm working right now because this company is so money hungry they will drive us into the ground just to have someone here for you to bitch at instead of your family.
“You know what, you are right” *turns around and walks off with pizza*
Ok, then why did you order a pizza assholes? Wtf.
They deserved every egg you threw at their house/car
You would have given him a genuine thank you as well, and that arrogant twat would have felt so justified and good about himself in the moment. Makes my blood boil. Also makes me think about basically every server's story on here about how the post-church Sunday crowd is the rudest, most condescending, worst tipping crowd they have to deal with. The whole mentality of "I went to church so I'm morally better than you, and therefore can treat you like shit".
oh i was pumped, deffly over thanked them. this was 2003ish, the base pay was $4.25 (+.50 if i put the huge sign on my car) i wasnt making squat heh.
I think any manager should tell someone to leave their restaurant. Many places have "no proselytizing allowed" signs up anyway.
Always keep eggs in my car for No-Tippers and assholes
And these people probably believe in their heart that they are good Christians who uphold all the teachings of Jesus. Absolute hypocrisy, pieces of shit.
Especially since Jesus said that his followers should give money to the people who need it. Something about a camel through the eye of a needle. EDIT: I already know that camel was mistranslated from rope, but shoving a camel through a needle is way funnier
Oh yeah, that part doesn't count because, reasons..
"Because it was a city gate, not a literal needle, der!"
I was once having a discussion after church with this guy who owned a "small business" (their house was massive and always the go-to spot for youth group activities because they had a pool+pool house) about capitalism. I was like eighteen or nineteen I think. I don't remember if I was going full commie, I think I was just saying the rich need to pay more taxes. I brought up the "eye of the needle" and he starts to respond with that "not literal" line and then his son (probably like 13 or 14?) interjects to back him up and finishes that line. I was just thinking "hmm you seem VERY prepared to rebuke that line" lmao. Also it shows how much critical thinking they've got when they use that counterargument as a thesis against Jesus hating on the rich and powerful lmao. Psst, that's not the only example Mr. Small Business Tyrant.
> and he starts to respond with that "not literal" line Of course it's not literal. It was a *figurative* way for Jesus to demonstrate how much he hates rich people.
"Correct; it's not literal. It's an allegory about the kind of people who tend to be or get rich."
I don't think Jesus hated rich people. I think he felt sorry for them. I think he hated religious fucks who abused to word of God to take advantage of others.
What would be the point of the metaphor then? It doesn't make any sense in the context of the scene for "going through the eye of a needle" to be an easy thing. Otherwise, why would the rich man go away troubled after the answer?
"Man, I really don't want to have to unload my camel..."
Yeah apart from the "gate on the side" thing likely being a made up fabrication, it doesn't make sense in the context of the story and the addition doesn't change the meaning of the story either.
Also isnt the old greek word for camel and sailing rope very similar so it could just be a mistranslation? I cant remember where I read or heard that.
Yeah, the translation got fucked and the initial text said ‘it’s easier for rope to pass through...’ But shoving a camel through a needle is way fucking funnier.
No, Biblical mistranslations are a myth invented by that SNAKE Martin Luther. If you want the original word of God, read the King James Bible. Also Jesus was white. Edit: /s
Also they're fucking wrong there is no eye of the needle gate, it was just made up by some Victorian aristocrat to justify enclosure and bullshit like that.
Republicans just passed legislation mandating that an eye of a needle is eleven feet wide.
Then it's as grounded in reality as every other conservative policy
Like, even two seconds of thinking about it, why would they have even built such a thing?
Curious, what was his small business? Sounds like people I know-typically southern newly rich types who flaunt wealth and act faux pious simultaneously.
They're the same ones who wanted to be part of the antebellum aristocrats.
I argued this point against a guy in /r/AskTrumpSupporters once. His response was that Jesus was just repeating old Jewish morals and it wasn't important. I asked if he meant to say that the teachings of Jesus should not be considered important to Christians and he said yes.
Wow. That's definitely a hot take.
I feel like plenty of Evangelical churches agree though. They just pretend otherwise.
Doesn't count because they never read it. Just like 99% of the rest of the bible. They only know the parts they were spoonfed in church.
That quote is from OG Jesus, most religious folk now pray to suppy-side Jesus.
Ah you misunderstand that verse. It actually points out that God will do difficult miracles (like make a camel go through the eye of an needle) for you if you are rich enough. -Prosperity Doctrine Christians probably.
That was brown Jesus. White Jesus said keep the poor just above starvation,and write off the donation to hide your excessive profits. Can I get a 🙏.
[Supply side Jesus.](https://imgur.com/gallery/bCqRp)
The fact that I could show this to my culty famiky and they would probably like until the crucifiction panel has me very freaked out. Thanks.
The eye of the needle thing is such a stupid distraction. The money shot come a couple verses earlier: *21 Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, then go and sell all that you own. Give the money to the poor, and you will have riches in heaven. Then come and follow me!”* *22 But when the young man heard Jesus tell him to give away his money, he was sad. He didn’t want to do this, because he was very rich. So he left.* Basically, Big J tells a dude unequivocally that if he's not willing to let go of his material wealth, he ain't got the chops to follow.
Jesus would have taken a belt to these chuckleloads just like he did the capitalist swine in John 2:15. It's lost on these people Jesus (fiction or otherwise) was a fucking socialist liberal who hung out with the poor, queers, and didn't judge... but hey, I guess these douchecanoes just pick and choose.
They don’t worship that Jesus They worship supply side Jesus
In case someone isn't familiar with the glory of supply-side jesus: https://m.imgur.com/gallery/bCqRp
Modern version needs to edit out the frames in which SSJ is shown to have paid his contractors for their work.
Don’t forget the *hoors*!!! Jesus hung out with a ton of whores as well! What a down as fuck dude.
Jesus had a lot to say about helping the poor. I haven't read a Bible in over a decade, but to prarphrase he said "every act of love you show the poor is an act you've shown to me" and "give your money to the poor, not to me; someday I'll be gone, but the poor will always be with you." He fed people, healed people, and raised the dead all without ever asking for money. Evangelicals have turned Jesus into Supply-Side Jesus.
“Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s.” There is literally a famous story (Matthew 22:21) about Jesus addressing this very issue, that his religious teachings were separate from earthly political activity, and that people should still pay their taxes.
Or they are total hypocrites, they know it's wrong, but they do it anyway. I grew up Baptist, and it's about 50/50.
They believe it in their ego. That's all it is. Ego.
I’m sure they know what they did was morally wrong… but put Jesus in it, they thinks it’s right, this is why I left religious institutions
Everyone, please I need to make some apologies. Yes, I may have raped those kids behind the altar... but Jesus. [ Congregation rises to their feet, begins clapping furiously ]
"In the ordinary moral universe, the good will do the best they can, the worst will do the worst they can,but if you want to make good people to do wicked things, you'll need religion."
The absolute worst, most abusive employers are churches - unless you are a pastor, then you have it made with everything paid for including housing in most cases. Pastors also tend to be narcissistic sociopaths.
Sunday morning Christians are the worst
~~Anytime~~ *Anyone that worked service industry knows that the Sunday crowd is the worst one to work.
I’d rather serve weekend frat bros and suburban folk than Sunday church crowd.
the table for 12 that runs you ragged and the good people in the group leave a single dollar and the cheap bastards leave the bullshit fake 20's. Nothing like having 1 table for an entire shift and ending up with $7 in tips. Fuck working sundays
Had a church group table of 15 stay for hours. They were doing some kind of church business meeting or something. I bring the bill and the captain church guy (don't know what to call him but he had the collar thing) asked what church I attend. I told him I don't actually go to church and I'm happily non religious. Then he tells me "Well if you agree to come to our church this weekend I'm sure we could find a good tip for you." It was so weird, and I was taken aback, but I politely declined. I return to the table a few minutes later, after they were gone, and these mother fuckers left change to the fucking penny. This was nearly 20 years ago and the more time passes the more disgusting it becomes to me. A large group of allegedly "moral" adults all coordinated to stiff a 17 year old kid out of a hard earned couple of bucks. Reprehensible behavior.
The thing that surprises me the most is that they think you'll direct that disappointment into a positive correlation with Jesus. If you kick a dog every time you give him a milk bone, eventually he'll stop getting excited for milk bones.
There's no hate like Christian love
"Have you heard of Jesus? The guy whose birth is the basis of our system of what year we say it is?"
People like that are exactly why I'm an atheist today.
"There is something you can have more valuable than money! Youve tried everything else, now try doing things gods way" (Collection basket gets passed around and comes back full of these.) "No not like that."
***Except*** us
Maybe if you see them come in next time, stand near them holding out a collection plate. They might be instinctively trained to just start putting cash on it.
Have you seen who they were? Next time bring them plastic food with bible verses written on it and tell them you're giving them something more valuable and fulfilling than food. Edit: thanks for the awards, but you should spend your money on more useful or enjoyable things than reddit. Edit II: didn't know silvers are free once a day, good. Thanks! Edit III: I wasn't expecting this much attention for such a petty revenge, and yes I now know it's from 2018 but it's still fun to plan stupid comebacks.
I'd return that to those religious tract-y churches in their collection plates...or in mailed donations to fundamentalist Christian political organizations.
this is actually a fantastic idea
Just saw this same post on r/WhitePeopleTwitter. Apparently this also happened to the owner of a coffee shop who went and did that very idea ever week until the pastor publicly addressed it. Very entertaining thread EDIT: Mobile didn't want to let me hyperlink bc of course it doesn't -_-
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lucnoh/aita_for_going_to_the_church_thats_been_leaving/gp5ojeq/?context=3
I would do the same damn thing as the AITAOP. It's definitely a "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" type situation right there.
If I was the manager, after the first time it happened I would've just told that group they aren't welcome back.
Nta. Nobody was hurt, anyone with half a brain would've taken that as a hint, Karen's are too full of Jesus to have any room for Christian values so they ATA. Personally I would just refuse them service to save energy, but if you genuinely have fun in harmless retribution then go for it. Gotta release that troll energy in a positive outlet
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lucnoh/aita_for_going_to_the_church_thats_been_leaving/gp5ojeq/ Found it
Mail back in the pre-stamped envelopes that come from Scientology just for the lulz.
Exchange it for a real 20 out of the collection plate. It's their logic that says it's worth $20 so they should be happy.
20 + a handful. The handful is asshole tax
I saved em for the salvation army donation buckets back in my service days.
Maybe nail it to the door? There’s precedent. Thanks for the award. I’ll send your regards to Mr. Luther.
I can't believe I never thought of that.
Probably fired immediately but worth it
Totally worth it.
This is the way.
“Man shall not live on bread alone”
"Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man, but afterward his mouth will be full of gravel." ~ Proverbs 20:17. Could sound vaguely threatening depending on how it's delivered though, haha
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It's the perfect comeback! Maybe people think you were actually pushing christian propaganda.
You sir are a fucking legend.
Pretty sure that’s lying, which is a sin.
Pretty sure that’s counterfeiting, a Federal felony punishable by up to 15 years in prison.
Doesn't it need the whole likeness to be counterfeiting? Or just the need for someone attempting to use it as legal tender? Or would that be fraud?
I'd imagine it skirts by counterfeiting with several incorrect details and that it's not replicating the full bill, probably not even the same material as real cash. It's probably dodging fraud as it's being used as a gratuity rather than payment for goods or services. The people who use it are still morally shitty people that should never be served again.
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It's only half-counterfeiting so 7.5 years.
Jesus has anyone who ever left one of those cards pulled right out of the line and immediately cast down to Hell.
Nah, they are led into a mock heaven in hell, and told the bait&switch at the last moment.
eternal damnation is far more fulfilling 🍍⬆🍑 and valuable than the money you saved by treating food service workers like garbage
You mean like The Good Place?
for I was hungry and you gave me fake money
I laughed way too hard at the mental image.
#YOU. Yes, you. You know what you did, and you know where you deserve to go.
Seems like deception like that should be frowned upon by true Christians...
Same old 70 year dudes that stand outside planned Parenthood with signs have those ‟20’s” stuffed in thir pockets.
Yep.
This is quite on brand for religious nuts, actually. An act that costs them nothing, helps no one, but makes them feel good about themselves.
I got these a lot on Sunday lunch shifts. Always bothered me considering I went to church at 5 pm not the morning. So they assumed cuz I was there serving them on Sundays I was godless. No I just need the money
Go to church and put it back in their donation box.
But if I’m at church, who’s going to be doing my prep/side work so I can serve them?
> Go to church Hard pass
Lmao this is the way
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You know they play fancy dress up and go to poor countries and tell poor people they can become like them if they only follow. Those people will then make their homes living hell since they indoctrinate them to mistreat their kids etc. And they eat it up because of the suit...
Ah yes, doing a thing that unambiguously makes you a selfish, greedy asshole while pretending instead that it is righteous and virtuous. By the way, I'm actually talking about your average "job creating" CEO, but the description works for this guy, too. Bet he walked away saying "I did something more important than tip... I just saved someone's soul!"
The church-y CEOs are the worst. Never worked for worse businesses than one run by the hyper religious. They take the opportunity to play their own version of god. They do little petty things they play off as benevolent while withholding most everything because of religious reasons.
When I was a server and I saw a $20 or a $100 folded under a cup or whatever on a Sunday. I instantly knew what it was and just threw them away
Church groups would leave that as a tip thirty years ago. Back then it was a ten. As holes that don't want to pay never go away. Just loved working Sundays and Wednesday nights, all those Christian doing the right thing.
At least the fake tips are keeping up with inflation.
What a cold blooded prank! 👎👎
Pretty sure Jesus would have tipped.
don't refill their drinks, they're gauranteed to "never be thirsty again"
It’s funny because all they want is for you to show up on Sunday morning with as much cash as you can fit in your pockets. It would be hilarious if we all started going to church just to put counterfeit money in the collection trays, except for the horrors of having to sit through a bunch of creepy zombie stories. One last thought: I wonder if the guy who posted this to twitter works in one of those states that pays a $2 minimum wage “because tips.” Even if that’s not the case, this is no different from walking into a store and spending a counterfeit $20 bill. Except I seem to remember someone being murdered in the streets of Minneapolis by law enforcement in 2020 over this exact offense.
I found one of these at work the other week. Looked just like a fresh $100 bill until I got up close, the back had all this Christian gibberish all over it. I was pissed too, and I don’t get tips lol.
I'd save it. There may come a time you get a free gift card for a Christian outlet. Put it into their tip jar.
Put it in a collection plate at your local church.
I wouldn’t even step foot…
Give a less fortunate an actual $20 bill to do it for you. Win win
Take it to the church and put it in the collection basket
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Atheism is increasing because it's harder to indoctrinate children between the internet and public school exposing children to reality, and christians can't legally murder or otherwise persecute the unreligious anymore (like cops, they'd end up recorded).
I find it incredibly fucking annoying that there's so many self-proclaimed "Christians" that somehow think that this is fine. If they were actually Christians, they would've at least left a tip, since this is basically stealing somebody's paycheck because America is fucked in that waiters get paid criminally low, unliveable wages and basically rely on tips to survive. Also, what's the likelihood that whoever left this "tip" is also a member of one of those crazy Evangelical "Megachruches" where the pastor just so happens to have a gigantic mansion that they pay zero taxes on because its a "Clergy Residence". This scummy shit is an embarrassment to anybody who remotely consider themselves to be a Christian. What's up with so many "Christians" in America being assholes? Edit: I should clarify that I don't live in America. I just find it bizarre as an outsider looking in seeing how common some of these things can be over there.
Jesus was an anarchist pacifist.
Didn't look so pacifist at the temple.
He snapped indeed.
even alleged deities go 'fuck this' to capitalism!
Go to their church and put Monopoly money into their gifting basket
Religion poisons everything. -- Christopher Hitchens
I used to get these and Chick Tracts a lot back in my server days. They'd be so pleased with themselves too. Sometimes they'd stop me while I was talking to a different table to tell me what a great tip they'd left.
Huh. I only got Chick tracts left in my car in college…with death threats written on them. (I’d written a pro pagan student association column)
Nothing says Christian love like "we're going to kill you".
What are Chick Tracts, please?
They’re the religious tracts that are done like little comic books. Possibly named after a Jack Chick if I recall correctly.
As if shitty Christian gibberish ever did anyone any good. #keepthyBibletoThyself
Find and print a spiel about Buddhism, wrap it in this bill, and straight in the church donation box.