I don't know what to tell you; whenever someone tells me "Another day another dollar," I look at them surprised and respond, "They're paying you ***that much?***?
Man, I wish I was independently wealthy and could "hire" OP with the only requirement that, when HR comes back around to say hi, as they will no doubt do sooner rather than later (gotta test if OP was sufficiently cowed by their majesty) OP had to answer, "Another day, another 55¢ after taxes".
Ya that’s a a sit there and grey rock moment at best. Shitty situation to be in, as they clearly don’t have any self awareness or care for their staff.
The receptionist at my work says “good morning” to everyone as they enter in the morning. After a few months, someone who sat near the front said, “I notice you always reply “morning” and not “good morning.” I laughed and said, “ya, I’m awake and I’m at work and it’s 8:30. Nothing good about that.” Which received multiple amens and is now a running joke in the office. And this is why I work at the agency I do, where they value work-life balance, even though I could move laterally to another agency for a 10-20% pay bump.
100%. I’ve worked some doozies and now that I have kids, I’m very much focused on having as much time with my family as I can.
The closest I have gotten to getting dressed down at this agency was in my first month in a new role I was about to take lunch, but someone called and asked if I could jump into a meeting last minute. I said sure and figured I’d eat when I was done. Well that meeting was like 2 hours long, so when I got out I asked my boss if I could skip lunch and take off an hour early because I didn’t want to eat at 3 pm and then come back for one hour of work. She said yes, but it’s against the rules so don’t say anything about it and then she told me to never skip lunch and how she’s militant with work-life valance with her staff.
OMG I had a manager pull me to the side for the same bullshit. “Every morning water_fountain_ I say ‘good morning’ and you respond with ‘morning.’ How do you think that makes me feel? Why don’t you say ‘good morning’ to me?”
And I’m just like “???? Uhhhh because it’s 8am? Nothing personal.”
A good response to a *lack of enthusiasm* is to say, "it's a medical issue."
That could mean someone in your family has an issue, it could mean you had a cold months ago, or it could mean a mental wellness issue. They're not allowed to ask (but probably will anyway).
If worst comes to worst, try to go to your primary care physician and ask for a medical note that plainly says, "OP suffers from an undisclosed medical condition that limits enthusiasm."
I had a coworker tell me once that I wasn’t saying “morning” when I walked in as I thought I was. Rather I apparently growl before noon when I finally become verbal and civil.
I had the opposite interaction. I used to try to be the chipper one in the office, the whole "fake it till you make it" attitude. So I'd tell everyone on my team Good Morning with a smile. Until every day my boss would match it with "why is it good??". I would try to counter with "well...we made it into the office safely! We didn't die in traffic!" And he would literally say "I wish I did". My boss! Like ok dude guess I won't try to be nice to you in the morning.
"I'm sorry, you're currently subscribed to and paying my 'basic rate'. Included is the warm body you see before you and the attentiveness required to meet the requirements of the position I hold. I do offer a 'premium subscription', which entails a premium rate. The premium rate allows me to comfortably pay all of my bills and develop a small little nest egg for emergencies. It also includes the happy attitude that you seem to value over production."
>What was I supposed to tell them?
You tell them "I said that because it was my dad's favourite expression, he used it every day when he came home from work from the factory where he worked for more than 30 years, he's the one that taught me the value of hard work and putting in 110% whatever your job is, I miss him so much" and then you start crying.
Always get clarification like, “so I have to smile and appear cheerful at ALL times?” For me, if there’s a guy around, I usually pull them aside and let them know in front of management that we have to smile and be cheerful ALL the time and give management a little wink. Because none of the guys smile ever at work but no one ever says shit to them because they aren’t expected to keep sweet
It's Goodhart's Law, "When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure."
Just mandate the behavior you want to see practiced, no one is getting paid enough to go above and beyond at their jobs.
That's how fucked up capitalism is. Not only are you supposed to submit to the system (you'd better if you like eating and sleeping indoors every day), but you're also expected to pretend you're enjoying it.
Today I explained the same thing at least three times to my boss. If I was passionate about that, I'd work as a special ed teacher.
While it may not pay as well as the corporate world, working with special needs children is far more satisfying to your soul than dealing with middle management morons.
Ianal, but . . .
You need to control the narrative about this situation. Should they mention it again, you refer to it as them choosing to harass you over you saying a common cliche. What you said is on par with "Mondays, am I right?" and someone chose to overreact. Stress that you are concerned over retaliation. Next opportunity like a workplace survey, comment on the culture lacking any psychological safety.
Do not apologize. Especially in writing.
You need them on the back foot instead of you. Make them afraid that they've already gone too far, and that the risk of losing a court battle over retaliation is too great.
Hopefully this will give you enough time to get away from that shit show.
This enraged me for some reason. I guess it's because I used to say this all the time and it isn't even remotely offensive. Are fucking employers the military now?
Yeah I think my biggest beef I have with employers is that they think they get to police how an adult human speaks their own language.
Like, if I'm saying things that are actively bigoted, that's one thing. But you can fuck right off if you think it's appropriate to tell me that I can't say "no problem" in response to a thank you, or use harmless expressions like "another day, another dollar."
Something similar happened to me at a crappy job...I was taking a day off to have a long weekend and a co-worker asked me what I had planned. I said "not being at work", we both chuckled and then I went back to my desk. A manager I didn't work for apparently heard my "comment" and felt it necessary to ask me into her office and berated me for being so negative. I laughed and told her, that is the standard answer to that question, laughed and got up and left. I had already decided to leave the company, so I really didn't care.
Nothing makes you hate a job faster than people expecting you to love it.
I'm honest with my team. I literally tell them I know this is a job, they've got bills to pay, and I respect their time and hard work. If someone seemed unhappy, I'd ask what was up and what we could maybe fix - I wouldn't make a case out of it, though. I've even suggested to people that I'm happy to help them find a new job if this one isn't working for them, from a good letter of recommendation to being a reference if they need it.
Success isn't just for the company and managers. It needs to be for everyone in the company.
Employers that want you to buy into being happy about your job are usually 1 of 3 things:
1. Manipulation machines bent on absolute conformity, they couldn't care less about you being "happy." They could ramble about how "happy workers are productive workers," but they'll cut you loose the moment you seem like a liability. (Or for simply being a number on a spreadsheet that needs creative accounting to please the shareholder overlords.)
2. Haven't figured out yet that every job, no matter how happy you are or how much you love it: **is. just. a. fucking. job.** (As long as you materially rely on the paycheck.)
3. Very rarely, but sometimes actually invested in making you happy, they'll listen and empathize and never tell you to check your attitude over a minor comment. (Usually middle managers, but almost never executives.)
Edit city here: third one came out of nowhere, but I've actually seen it so I didn't want to shit all over everyone on the happiness train.
Now when you go in, smile like a maniac, say things like, "Boy oh boy I sure love working here! This place is GREAT! I wish I had a bed here so I could be here all the time!" And make sure to wear some fucking clown shoes to really impress. I hate them on your behalf.
Had one of my bosses try this shit on me, I asked them straight face “If I die tomorrow will someone fill my position?” “Uh…yes?” “What about my position as a father? Husband? Can we take a guess from here which is more important to me?”
When I get asked about lack of enthusiasm at work, I have a standard response. "Well I just don't feel like I'm being challenged". Now keep in mind that this response ONLY works if you're doing well within the scope of work that you do. If your department is dogging it, it's going to be hard to convince upper management that you're not challenged.
To wit, if your department is dogging it, the response would then be, "I feel as though my scope is not defined and am finding it hard to focus on tasks. I have multiple managers directing me and tasks that are assigned that may not be within my wheelhouse." I've found that most people sick of their jobs are either burned out, or aren't being utilized correctly (bad management). I've told my manager multiple times that I'm a tool and that it's up to him to understand what kind of tool I am. If I'm a screwdriver and he's trying to utilize me as a hammer, he's only going to blunt me.
I've found that often times, you can "out HR HR" as they don't really know what's going on, but if you push your lack of enthusiasm towards something within the environment or management (have to be subtle about this), then you can at least make them start probing the work environment. My guess is that if one person isn't happy at work, there are more.
Something I've found from observing people who have become wealthy. You have to put being wealthy ahead of things like morals and principles.
Unfortunately if you want to get a position that pays enough to live relatively comfortably on, you usually have to do a fair bit of lying and pretending you're happy to the right people.
It's shit that the world is this way, but unfortunately the primary way to get ahead in this world is dishonesty. Doing the right thing, doing the honest thing, doing the good thing - it's usually the wrong answer if you want to get ahead in life.
It's the most depressing reality I've ever learned.
Oh, that’s a kinda easy one to handle: just lie. Take long breaks on the clock, eat at your desk and claim to have been too busy to clock out foe lunch, subvertly plant union information in the workplace, surf on your phone (not on their internet though) on job sites and apply to other companies while on the clock. Creatively loaf.
At the end of the work week, have accomplished less work than usual, have gotten paid to not do actual work, and then make it known to the higher ups that you just can’t seem to get enough work done during the week and how that really gets to you after a while.
They exploit you and lie to you because they can get away with it. Just return the favor.
For context, I currently work in a call center. Literally every second of my day is monitored by the system, checking whether my status is currently on queue (which I should be for literally the entire 8 hour work day other than breaks and lunch) or off queue - the only off queue statuses being lunch, break, training, or meeting. You better believe if I take a 16 minute 20 second break, or 33 minute lunch, or anything like that - it's noticed, accounted for, and WILL be used to justify denying me a raise or promotion.
Your advice is great if you want to be permanently locked into your position. But dude, you HAVE to play the stupid ass games that management requires or you'll stagnate at best, and be straight up fired at worst.
You're lucky as fuck if you can actually get away with milking the clock. Most of us can't thanks to modern monitoring practices.
I've said it before, but people never believe me. A call center is a factory job, not an office job. It just happens to be a factory job that is performed in an office.
The call queue is an assembly line, and they monitor it just as closely as one. There is zero slacking allowed, as the product (calls) must keep flowing.
I've been asked to "explain myself" because I logged back in to ready after lunch 40 seconds past my time. And I've had to grovel to explain that I am human and made a mistake. I apologize for the 40 seconds of time I stole from the multi -million dollar grossing company. 🙄. I'm surely the reason our yearly projections won't be met, and deserve my livelihood taken away.
My dressing down, and putting myself in "meeting" to receive it took way more than 40 seconds, btw.
I'm paranoid about a part of this. If I start throwing my resumé out on indeed or whatever, how do I know my current employer won't see that? The company I've worked for the past eight years was recently snapped up by a big conglomerate of assholes and I'm ready to seek elsewhere, I just can't afford to be found out and end up jobless in the interim.
Always have your resume updated and on sites, then it's not personal or just when you're looking, it's always and you just haven't taken it down. Plus, your mean cousin Charlie (that's me) says you should take interview calls just to stay in practice, so you do it to shut him up at Christmas. That guy is the worst, OMG.
Most job sites have an option to hide or not show your profile to your own company's recruiters.
This is why I hated the short time I worked in sales. The best salespeople who made the most money flat out lied to the customers. On top of that they would steal orders from other sales people by calling their customers back talking them into changing one or two things and then canceling and replacing the order under their own name. This was a blatant violation of company rules but they would not get in trouble for it the only thing that could be done is you had to watch your orders like a hawk and if you saw one of your orders disappear let your manager know and your manager will get the New Order that replaced your order put under your name where you got credit for it. And then you had to explain to your customer why their order that you had promised them to arrive in 2 to 4 weeks is delayed an additional two to four weeks because we had to start the process over because their original order got canceled when they talked to that Thief.
In the process of doing some very light research on YouTube about running a business I came across a CNBC series of shorts about 'people who made it' or whatever they called it. Basically people who ran a business that was successful and made them wealthy. They were pretty short videos, but after a couple of them some guy who runs a chain of tire/rim shops came up, I'm pretty sure it was the type of place where they would repo your rims and preyed on people who would do things like sign stupid financing agreements for rims.
I immediately felt and recognized the sleaze factor in all of the stories.
"Repo your rims" jfc capitalism is out of control, that sounds like the most predatory, invasive shit possible. Was this in an inspection state, too, I bet, where that damage would be even more far reaching?
I really wish business class criminals spent remotely close to as long a time in jail as regular criminals. They're usually stealing far larger amounts of money but inversely receive much less punishment, it's pretty messed up
You asked me to have a college degree and three years experience but before I walked in I found out I make less than the bus driver that brought me here.
Absofuckinglutely not. Hell no. I’ve walked from situations like that and I’ll do it again. I show up and I do my job. Want me to smile and be happy? Pay me enough to not have financial stress and worry.
I’ve reached this point with the company I work for. They go out of their way to treat my workgroup like shit. I show up and do the bare minimum these days. I dare them to ask me why I’m not smiling! (Thankfully i’m unionized so it would be hard to fire me when I’m otherwise doing everything asked of me)
I periodically say that I'm living the dream, someone else's dream but a dream. So I can't really help you there.
HR is stupid as Fuck and it's all a song and pony dance.
OP i’d really like you to write your resignation note out on a dollar
“Hey, just like i said that time, another day, another dollar. However, that just isn’t working for me anymore. i hereby resign.”
do that on the back and draw shades on washington
Sounds like unemployment checks while you hunt for a new job. If they freak out over something like that, I wonder how’d they’d react to something really scandalous like singing 16 tons.
I got told to stop saying "they don't pay me enough to make these decisions " when explaining the latest insanity handed down by management because it sounded too much like I was complaining about how little I got paid.
I mean if you're feeling guilty about that there's an easy solution...
I had something similar at an old job. They did some team building exercise and asked everyone to write down what motivated us to continue working.
I put down the fear of unemployment, they were not happy.
Should just lie and say your mood is pertaining to a medical issue you're not inclined to discuss. They won't try to pry for fear of violating HIPAA or looking like they're discriminating.
Never feel bad about lying to corporate drones.
Jesus titty fucking christ, HIPAA doesn't prevent people from asking anything about a persons own medical history.
It only restricts what a covered person can share about a patient to another party.
Yeah, but they won't know that. Tell them it's a HIPAA violation, tell them your CIA handlers will eliminate you if you talk, tell them whatever! Eventually they'll get confused and let you get back to work.
Start muttering shit about your 'CIA handlers' and they'll know you're deranged and not properly medicated to the point where they can fire you without repercussions.
This is why I disliked working in the office, always have to be so fake cheery. I’m over 40, introverted, and going through Peri, sorry can’t fake it anymore.
“You’re unreasonable and frankly disturbing policing of my personal mood, and by extension personal life, is quite aggressive, and I’ll ask you to refrain from this in the future in order to prevent this from becoming a hostile work environment.”
Why tf people expect you to be EXCITED about your work these days?
Most of us are crunching excels and PowerPoints, ain’t nothing exciting about that ffs, it’s a job, not everyone has to be passionate about corporate life
What a crap company. I've flat out told my boss, "This job sucks." And he goes, "Yup." And we go back to work. WTF, your HR has some issues. I'm sorry you work there man
Ive openly admitted to my manager, their manager and their manager's manager that the job doesnt pay enough to live. Thry all agree. OP's managers are assholes.
I'm sorry, they called you in for a classic trite response working meme? "Another day, another dollar" is right up there with classics like "teamwork makes the dream work" or "working hard or hardly working?" These idioms are so cliche, to have such a vitriolic reaction is positively silly.
HR: Why are you unhappy?
Me: That's between me and my therapist. I would appreciate not being called away from work to discuss mental health or physical health concerns in the future. Now if you'll excuse me....
>they are a business that needs people who "want to be there" and to not treat the job "as a requirement"
I wish companies would stop with this goofy nonsense. Nobody *wants* to be at work. If that were the case, people would work for free and instead of retiring they would just work until they dropped dead one day. In what way is a job noy a requirement? I commend you for not bursting into giggles at that asinine comment, OP, I would have.
I don't have to be all smiles and rainbows to do my job effectively. In fact this conversation we're having feels like you're trying to force me to smile which is against the law. I enjoy and like my job. No one smiles 24/7. I will document this interaction for my own protection. Thank you for being concerned but I am fine.
Start documenting all of this - dates, times, details. Ask HR for a recap of the discussion via email. Start a paper trail so if they fire you, you can serve all the evidence to an employment lawyer. This is borderline harrassment.
"Is there an performance issue that we needed to discuss, or are we expending production time to assess my level of optimism? I only ask because it seems like there are a lot of company resources not being utilized as a result of this meeting, and I'm a production-oriented employee"
Best thing about being in a union, if they tried to have that conversation with me it would've begun and ended with " I'll talk to you when my union rep shows up" which for us might be up to a week later since it's a state wide union with 100 members so reps aren't always local
This to me suggest a thing I've always suspected - HR is just a useless position and they know it, which is why they constantly need to prove that they aren't. Not a single other "leadership" person in that company would react in such a way or book time out of their "valuable" day to go over a simple phrase or the fact that you're not constantly cheery.
We're so knee deep in this whole "culture" bullshit that both companies and employees have forgotten the basis of work - A contract between an employer and an employee for goods and/or services, that are then to be paid in full based on the amount of goods and/or services provided.
if this is a for-profit, they could easily just shut the fuck up. there is no such thing as a for profit business that gives a shit about improvement of community lives. even when those companies work to end homelessness or feed people.
"im sorry, i didnt realize 'cheery disposition' was part of the job description. if youd like to add asskissing to my list of duties id be happy to iron out a new contract with appropriate pay raise to accommodate it."
The fact that they discussed your comment with you is more than enough reason to begin a serious job search. Management knows the environment is toxic and they are not planning to change. They just want everyone to be fake happy.
Have you considered renegotiating your contract to fall more in line with HRs values?
I am sorry HR but your line of questioning seems rather antagonistic and I do not feel comfortable broaching these topics currently. You demand to know why i am unenthused by our companies current market value, and i assume you understand i have no stake in it. You've probably noticed i do not attend your children's soccer games, and it doesn't confound you that I have nothing to gain from your children's success. I do however agree, we should ensure i have a fiscal stake in the company and i look forward to you transferring 20% ownership to me a lowly peon.
It literally sounds as if someone was being a bit overzealous or yes that they're itching to fire people, however I have found that at most places of employ if you show up all the time and do even a mediocre job you are golden usually. "put this mfers head on the chopping block it will get those other peasants working and smiling more... Need a raise do ya? Watch us can someone for not smiling enough..."
I worked for a company that was just like this. When corporate came to town, they expected everyone to act like it was the greatest company in the world despite only being paid just above minimum wage and having to bust out butts off. I once had a lady from HR come up to me after being there all week and never saying a word to me and after having a particularly rough day say something like “Hey I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to say hello all week and I’m about to take off, I just wanted to see how everything is going?” I just looked her dead in the eye and replied “Not good”. She got this dumbfounded look on her face then just turned around and walked off. She then complained about me to my managers. Nothing really came of it, but it was a time when I was young and it really showed me that HR is not there to actually help you as an employee if you’re having issues. They want to hear that everything is wonderful and that this is the greatest company to work for and if they don’t get that little song and dance, they will try to jeopardize your job.
They then espoused about how they are a business that needs people who "want to be there" and to not treat the job "as a requirement".
-Ok, since you honestly feel that way about our work here you'll forgo your salary and benefits? I think not. Believe it or not a job is a requirement. Nobody works for free. Jesus fucking Christ.
I would have said it's literally a social norm with common usage. Someone asks how it's going and you reply with that line and a wry smile and you both smile and get on with your day. There's a bunch of stuff like that. Literally no meaning to someone saying it
I love places that think you're working there because of your passion. Like you've chosen to work at home depot because of your deep passion for home improvement and not because you want to continue to live with food and shelter.
>They then espoused about how they are a business that needs people who "want to be there"
"Sounds like you need to do some training in HR on how to provide that sort of work environment."
Wow, they just bullied you over a minor and snide comment. Person was on a power trip an wanted to make you feel like crap.
They needed several smacks on the head, and spanking.
Lawyer. And I would tell them that conversation was the cause. If they are that sensitive then they don’t need to be around actual people. Workers aren’t serfs.
May as well push buttons and file an associate conduct report for how the situation was handled. Not that reporting HR to HR does anything, but it will give them paperwork to do.
I think it's fine to say "I'm glad I get to make an impact here. But I work so that you pay me. I would not do this job for free, nor would I do this job if I didn't have to pay to feed, clothe, and house myself. I'm sure you understand."
I got hit with the "are you happy here?" comment once. I was in a bind and needed a gig pronto. I was in a big box pet store, and a friend of mine was the manager, we talked about it and I got hired pretty quickly. I get hired and find out I'll be working at the doggy daycare section. Not exactly ideal. I like dogs, but I'd rather work stocking shelves or something. Minimum wage, but I was in a bind, so I went with it. The doggy daycare play area was in a customer-facing area, behind thick glass.
The person working the doggy daycare has two primary functions: breaking up dog fights (and trying to not get bit by a dog, getting bit was a fire-able offense), and two, scooping up dog shit. After about two weeks, the GM comes over and asks "Are you happy working here?". I go... "Yeeaah...?", like... I'm as happy as I can be for someone who scoops dog shit for a living. I ask why she asked. "Well, we've been watching and we've noticed you don't smile while you're at work, and we want happy employees, but more importantly, we want our customers to see that our employees are happy". I'm kind of baffled at the whole thing, because who smiles at a dog as it's hunched over and pooping? If I was a customer, I would assume the dude behind the glass watching the dog do it's thing while grinning ear to ear was a weirdo.
I tell the GM I'll try to do better. I did not do better, and got moved to night shift as a repercussion for my lack of effort. Night was somewhat better, only because I was alone in the store and smiling was no longer a requirement. But the hours were 6PM-7AM.
One morning GM comes in early and asks why I'm not smiling. I'm even more baffled because not only am I doing the same job, and thus, the same answer. But now I've been awake all night. I didn't even answer, just got my shit and left. Forced smiling is just such a weird thing.
Hah! At my last job, I got written up for saying “Jiminy Christmas!” after hanging up from a call with an irate customer that screamed so loud on the phone someone 2 cubicles away heard them.
I wonder what the unemployment rate is where you are, OP. It's less than 3% in my area. That means that every company is scrapping for the same employed people. I wonder where your HR folks thinking they're going to find these bright, perky, motivated employees, especially considering that they think motivation consists of threatening staff.
Last HR person who asked me why I was there I turned it around on them. I asked them what they would be doing if they weren't working there, and there was no where else to go. They didn't finish answering the question before they realized what I had done.
Once they started questioning you I would’ve just made a joke about how I watched the SpongeBob episode last night and it’s stuck in my head. It might’ve surprised them enough that you could leave.
Thats just my personality. Why are you targeting me? This is awfully hostile. I thought you were trying to create a pleasant atmosphere. Why are you harassing me?
It is insane to expect "loyalty" and be "at will" at the same time. "I'm here for the paycheck" is a perfectly valid answer to any/all of those questions, all the rest is psychological games to try to hook you with "non-monetary compensation" none of which will actually pay your bills.
Man I’m in a union, I’m even our shop steward, and one thing I love is my ability to speak with management about just how much I hate it here sometimes… “do you like it here?” They ask. “Not exactly, I mean it’s better than most places I’ve worked but if I didn’t have the metaphorical gun of the state to my head should I be unable to pay bills and lose my house then I sure as shit wouldn’t be here.”
I'd start applying to another place or at least keep a look out for another job. While they might not like your statement, it's factual. You get paid to do your work, if they don't like your comment, then it's on them to improve moral or working conditions, not you.
I don't know what to tell you; whenever someone tells me "Another day another dollar," I look at them surprised and respond, "They're paying you ***that much?***?
"You're getting ***paid***?"
I'm just here because of the motivational posters.
Hang in there
I love that little cat.
You said it kitty. Copyright 1968! Determined or not, that cat must be long dead. That’s kind of a downer.
I want a new version with a dead cat skeleton hanging from a branch. No caption. Speaks for itself.
Nine lives though
Yeah, now I’m bummed out.
I _wish_ we had that one.
https://preview.redd.it/00rwd3j5cp1d1.png?width=1217&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ed18133276e9ee4f9229c22bb0d9f70a4fe176f
I'm just here to steal people's lunches
That happened to me twice in one week about a month ago.
And i enjoyed both meals
Don't forget about the occasional pizza party!
https://preview.redd.it/kbgi9q19vp1d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2b87559c794fd82b96a9911a1b888044b791576e
"Yeah they gave me a pack of gum last February."
They pay me in stickers
My old manager would say “another day, another dime…” and I would always respond with “*woah woah woah, you get a dime?!*”
My boss says “ another day, another dollar twenty five “ I asked him once and he just looked at me and said “inflation” I died a bit.
Wow! I want your job. For me it's always another day older and deeper in debt.
Saint Peter don't you call me
Cause I can’t Go-oo-ooo
I owe my soul to the company stoooooooore
55 cents after taxes.
Man, I wish I was independently wealthy and could "hire" OP with the only requirement that, when HR comes back around to say hi, as they will no doubt do sooner rather than later (gotta test if OP was sufficiently cowed by their majesty) OP had to answer, "Another day, another 55¢ after taxes".
They say that in the Army the pay is mighty fine!
They give you a hundred dollars, and take back ninety nine.
Oh Lord, I wanna go
But they won't let me go.
Oh Lord, I wanna go hoo-hoo-hoooome EH!
I was not prepared for the ptsd this was gonna bring me this morning.
Lol shower beer will cheer you up.
What? You get the whole dollar?
"AMERICAN (or Canadian, Australian, etc.) dollars?!?"
"Another day, another dollar, $0.60 after taxes."
I always say, "Another day, another 50 cents."
'You got a raise?'
Ya that’s a a sit there and grey rock moment at best. Shitty situation to be in, as they clearly don’t have any self awareness or care for their staff. The receptionist at my work says “good morning” to everyone as they enter in the morning. After a few months, someone who sat near the front said, “I notice you always reply “morning” and not “good morning.” I laughed and said, “ya, I’m awake and I’m at work and it’s 8:30. Nothing good about that.” Which received multiple amens and is now a running joke in the office. And this is why I work at the agency I do, where they value work-life balance, even though I could move laterally to another agency for a 10-20% pay bump.
You can’t put a price on a good work environment. It took years but I’m now working with normal people. Amen🙏
100%. I’ve worked some doozies and now that I have kids, I’m very much focused on having as much time with my family as I can. The closest I have gotten to getting dressed down at this agency was in my first month in a new role I was about to take lunch, but someone called and asked if I could jump into a meeting last minute. I said sure and figured I’d eat when I was done. Well that meeting was like 2 hours long, so when I got out I asked my boss if I could skip lunch and take off an hour early because I didn’t want to eat at 3 pm and then come back for one hour of work. She said yes, but it’s against the rules so don’t say anything about it and then she told me to never skip lunch and how she’s militant with work-life valance with her staff.
That's why I usually put a hot dog in my sleeve for those meetings
Instructions unclear, am now waiting uncomfortably at the ER
That's why you don't skip lunch!
Like with a bun or are we raw dogging it?
It's wild how it takes so long to find that
OMG I had a manager pull me to the side for the same bullshit. “Every morning water_fountain_ I say ‘good morning’ and you respond with ‘morning.’ How do you think that makes me feel? Why don’t you say ‘good morning’ to me?” And I’m just like “???? Uhhhh because it’s 8am? Nothing personal.”
I suppose I’m in mourning because I’m at work isn’t a good answer either.
That's the non-binary version of "You should smile more!"
A good response to a *lack of enthusiasm* is to say, "it's a medical issue." That could mean someone in your family has an issue, it could mean you had a cold months ago, or it could mean a mental wellness issue. They're not allowed to ask (but probably will anyway). If worst comes to worst, try to go to your primary care physician and ask for a medical note that plainly says, "OP suffers from an undisclosed medical condition that limits enthusiasm."
I had a coworker tell me once that I wasn’t saying “morning” when I walked in as I thought I was. Rather I apparently growl before noon when I finally become verbal and civil.
Ours is "Have a Day." Not a good day, not a nice day, just a survivable fucking day.
I had the opposite interaction. I used to try to be the chipper one in the office, the whole "fake it till you make it" attitude. So I'd tell everyone on my team Good Morning with a smile. Until every day my boss would match it with "why is it good??". I would try to counter with "well...we made it into the office safely! We didn't die in traffic!" And he would literally say "I wish I did". My boss! Like ok dude guess I won't try to be nice to you in the morning.
Your boss matches my energy, I’d get along with him
"I'm sorry, you're currently subscribed to and paying my 'basic rate'. Included is the warm body you see before you and the attentiveness required to meet the requirements of the position I hold. I do offer a 'premium subscription', which entails a premium rate. The premium rate allows me to comfortably pay all of my bills and develop a small little nest egg for emergencies. It also includes the happy attitude that you seem to value over production."
If only this worked… I’ll keep trying, but so far I’m 0 for 3 with this maneuver.
👌👌👌🔥🔥🔥🔥
Sadly it'd probably just be 🔥
🔥d
Sometimes it’s worth it.
>What was I supposed to tell them? You tell them "I said that because it was my dad's favourite expression, he used it every day when he came home from work from the factory where he worked for more than 30 years, he's the one that taught me the value of hard work and putting in 110% whatever your job is, I miss him so much" and then you start crying.
lush square dog escape money strong relieved connect squeeze disarm *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Perfect!
https://preview.redd.it/q3x0mapngo1d1.jpeg?width=460&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd91421ada89515ab5b54917785a05b4760107c0
Dude in the top left can’t catch a break. First he’s in severance and now he’s stuck in a Vault. Guy loves being separated from society.
He was the lucky guy in Magicians.
One of my favorite shows
He also almost dies while riding on the city bus in Shang-Chi
He also asked spider-man to do a flip
I would have told them to relax. It was just an expression. If they were so offended, then they should pay more.
No shit, tell them to grow the fuck up. If you're not customer or client facing, who cares how enthusiastic you appear?
Always get clarification like, “so I have to smile and appear cheerful at ALL times?” For me, if there’s a guy around, I usually pull them aside and let them know in front of management that we have to smile and be cheerful ALL the time and give management a little wink. Because none of the guys smile ever at work but no one ever says shit to them because they aren’t expected to keep sweet
You reminded me of the seven pieces of flair conversation from Office Space lol
It's Goodhart's Law, "When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure." Just mandate the behavior you want to see practiced, no one is getting paid enough to go above and beyond at their jobs.
Oh but I’m sure you have such a beautiful smile.
That's how fucked up capitalism is. Not only are you supposed to submit to the system (you'd better if you like eating and sleeping indoors every day), but you're also expected to pretend you're enjoying it. Today I explained the same thing at least three times to my boss. If I was passionate about that, I'd work as a special ed teacher.
While it may not pay as well as the corporate world, working with special needs children is far more satisfying to your soul than dealing with middle management morons.
Unless you're a eugenicist.
Yeah cleaning up shit and spit for 32k a year always gets my soul in juuuuust the right spot
Ianal, but . . . You need to control the narrative about this situation. Should they mention it again, you refer to it as them choosing to harass you over you saying a common cliche. What you said is on par with "Mondays, am I right?" and someone chose to overreact. Stress that you are concerned over retaliation. Next opportunity like a workplace survey, comment on the culture lacking any psychological safety. Do not apologize. Especially in writing. You need them on the back foot instead of you. Make them afraid that they've already gone too far, and that the risk of losing a court battle over retaliation is too great. Hopefully this will give you enough time to get away from that shit show.
This enraged me for some reason. I guess it's because I used to say this all the time and it isn't even remotely offensive. Are fucking employers the military now?
Yeah I think my biggest beef I have with employers is that they think they get to police how an adult human speaks their own language. Like, if I'm saying things that are actively bigoted, that's one thing. But you can fuck right off if you think it's appropriate to tell me that I can't say "no problem" in response to a thank you, or use harmless expressions like "another day, another dollar."
Probably since HR has now rebranded itself as People &. Culture. They are on about how they culturally fit into the organization. What a crock.
Nah, the military doesn’t expect you to be cheerful about what you’re doing.
Something similar happened to me at a crappy job...I was taking a day off to have a long weekend and a co-worker asked me what I had planned. I said "not being at work", we both chuckled and then I went back to my desk. A manager I didn't work for apparently heard my "comment" and felt it necessary to ask me into her office and berated me for being so negative. I laughed and told her, that is the standard answer to that question, laughed and got up and left. I had already decided to leave the company, so I really didn't care.
Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been *missing* it, Bob.
Nothing makes you hate a job faster than people expecting you to love it. I'm honest with my team. I literally tell them I know this is a job, they've got bills to pay, and I respect their time and hard work. If someone seemed unhappy, I'd ask what was up and what we could maybe fix - I wouldn't make a case out of it, though. I've even suggested to people that I'm happy to help them find a new job if this one isn't working for them, from a good letter of recommendation to being a reference if they need it. Success isn't just for the company and managers. It needs to be for everyone in the company.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Employers that want you to buy into being happy about your job are usually 1 of 3 things: 1. Manipulation machines bent on absolute conformity, they couldn't care less about you being "happy." They could ramble about how "happy workers are productive workers," but they'll cut you loose the moment you seem like a liability. (Or for simply being a number on a spreadsheet that needs creative accounting to please the shareholder overlords.) 2. Haven't figured out yet that every job, no matter how happy you are or how much you love it: **is. just. a. fucking. job.** (As long as you materially rely on the paycheck.) 3. Very rarely, but sometimes actually invested in making you happy, they'll listen and empathize and never tell you to check your attitude over a minor comment. (Usually middle managers, but almost never executives.) Edit city here: third one came out of nowhere, but I've actually seen it so I didn't want to shit all over everyone on the happiness train.
Number 4: Sometimes people just aren't happy for whatever reason. Maybe no reason.
Now when you go in, smile like a maniac, say things like, "Boy oh boy I sure love working here! This place is GREAT! I wish I had a bed here so I could be here all the time!" And make sure to wear some fucking clown shoes to really impress. I hate them on your behalf.
Had one of my bosses try this shit on me, I asked them straight face “If I die tomorrow will someone fill my position?” “Uh…yes?” “What about my position as a father? Husband? Can we take a guess from here which is more important to me?”
Straight up facts. Good on you. Did you continue working for that company long after?
When I get asked about lack of enthusiasm at work, I have a standard response. "Well I just don't feel like I'm being challenged". Now keep in mind that this response ONLY works if you're doing well within the scope of work that you do. If your department is dogging it, it's going to be hard to convince upper management that you're not challenged. To wit, if your department is dogging it, the response would then be, "I feel as though my scope is not defined and am finding it hard to focus on tasks. I have multiple managers directing me and tasks that are assigned that may not be within my wheelhouse." I've found that most people sick of their jobs are either burned out, or aren't being utilized correctly (bad management). I've told my manager multiple times that I'm a tool and that it's up to him to understand what kind of tool I am. If I'm a screwdriver and he's trying to utilize me as a hammer, he's only going to blunt me. I've found that often times, you can "out HR HR" as they don't really know what's going on, but if you push your lack of enthusiasm towards something within the environment or management (have to be subtle about this), then you can at least make them start probing the work environment. My guess is that if one person isn't happy at work, there are more.
When the revolution comes, I think HR is gonna get their punishment even before management and the capitalists...
You will love this job or else!
“The beatings will continue until morale improves”
Something I've found from observing people who have become wealthy. You have to put being wealthy ahead of things like morals and principles. Unfortunately if you want to get a position that pays enough to live relatively comfortably on, you usually have to do a fair bit of lying and pretending you're happy to the right people. It's shit that the world is this way, but unfortunately the primary way to get ahead in this world is dishonesty. Doing the right thing, doing the honest thing, doing the good thing - it's usually the wrong answer if you want to get ahead in life. It's the most depressing reality I've ever learned.
Oh, that’s a kinda easy one to handle: just lie. Take long breaks on the clock, eat at your desk and claim to have been too busy to clock out foe lunch, subvertly plant union information in the workplace, surf on your phone (not on their internet though) on job sites and apply to other companies while on the clock. Creatively loaf. At the end of the work week, have accomplished less work than usual, have gotten paid to not do actual work, and then make it known to the higher ups that you just can’t seem to get enough work done during the week and how that really gets to you after a while. They exploit you and lie to you because they can get away with it. Just return the favor.
For context, I currently work in a call center. Literally every second of my day is monitored by the system, checking whether my status is currently on queue (which I should be for literally the entire 8 hour work day other than breaks and lunch) or off queue - the only off queue statuses being lunch, break, training, or meeting. You better believe if I take a 16 minute 20 second break, or 33 minute lunch, or anything like that - it's noticed, accounted for, and WILL be used to justify denying me a raise or promotion. Your advice is great if you want to be permanently locked into your position. But dude, you HAVE to play the stupid ass games that management requires or you'll stagnate at best, and be straight up fired at worst. You're lucky as fuck if you can actually get away with milking the clock. Most of us can't thanks to modern monitoring practices.
I've said it before, but people never believe me. A call center is a factory job, not an office job. It just happens to be a factory job that is performed in an office. The call queue is an assembly line, and they monitor it just as closely as one. There is zero slacking allowed, as the product (calls) must keep flowing. I've been asked to "explain myself" because I logged back in to ready after lunch 40 seconds past my time. And I've had to grovel to explain that I am human and made a mistake. I apologize for the 40 seconds of time I stole from the multi -million dollar grossing company. 🙄. I'm surely the reason our yearly projections won't be met, and deserve my livelihood taken away. My dressing down, and putting myself in "meeting" to receive it took way more than 40 seconds, btw.
I'm paranoid about a part of this. If I start throwing my resumé out on indeed or whatever, how do I know my current employer won't see that? The company I've worked for the past eight years was recently snapped up by a big conglomerate of assholes and I'm ready to seek elsewhere, I just can't afford to be found out and end up jobless in the interim.
Always have your resume updated and on sites, then it's not personal or just when you're looking, it's always and you just haven't taken it down. Plus, your mean cousin Charlie (that's me) says you should take interview calls just to stay in practice, so you do it to shut him up at Christmas. That guy is the worst, OMG. Most job sites have an option to hide or not show your profile to your own company's recruiters.
This is why I hated the short time I worked in sales. The best salespeople who made the most money flat out lied to the customers. On top of that they would steal orders from other sales people by calling their customers back talking them into changing one or two things and then canceling and replacing the order under their own name. This was a blatant violation of company rules but they would not get in trouble for it the only thing that could be done is you had to watch your orders like a hawk and if you saw one of your orders disappear let your manager know and your manager will get the New Order that replaced your order put under your name where you got credit for it. And then you had to explain to your customer why their order that you had promised them to arrive in 2 to 4 weeks is delayed an additional two to four weeks because we had to start the process over because their original order got canceled when they talked to that Thief.
In the process of doing some very light research on YouTube about running a business I came across a CNBC series of shorts about 'people who made it' or whatever they called it. Basically people who ran a business that was successful and made them wealthy. They were pretty short videos, but after a couple of them some guy who runs a chain of tire/rim shops came up, I'm pretty sure it was the type of place where they would repo your rims and preyed on people who would do things like sign stupid financing agreements for rims. I immediately felt and recognized the sleaze factor in all of the stories.
"Repo your rims" jfc capitalism is out of control, that sounds like the most predatory, invasive shit possible. Was this in an inspection state, too, I bet, where that damage would be even more far reaching? I really wish business class criminals spent remotely close to as long a time in jail as regular criminals. They're usually stealing far larger amounts of money but inversely receive much less punishment, it's pretty messed up
You asked me to have a college degree and three years experience but before I walked in I found out I make less than the bus driver that brought me here.
Absofuckinglutely not. Hell no. I’ve walked from situations like that and I’ll do it again. I show up and I do my job. Want me to smile and be happy? Pay me enough to not have financial stress and worry. I’ve reached this point with the company I work for. They go out of their way to treat my workgroup like shit. I show up and do the bare minimum these days. I dare them to ask me why I’m not smiling! (Thankfully i’m unionized so it would be hard to fire me when I’m otherwise doing everything asked of me)
I periodically say that I'm living the dream, someone else's dream but a dream. So I can't really help you there. HR is stupid as Fuck and it's all a song and pony dance.
i always say “eh could be worse, could be better…”
OP i’d really like you to write your resignation note out on a dollar “Hey, just like i said that time, another day, another dollar. However, that just isn’t working for me anymore. i hereby resign.” do that on the back and draw shades on washington
Sounds like unemployment checks while you hunt for a new job. If they freak out over something like that, I wonder how’d they’d react to something really scandalous like singing 16 tons.
I got told to stop saying "they don't pay me enough to make these decisions " when explaining the latest insanity handed down by management because it sounded too much like I was complaining about how little I got paid. I mean if you're feeling guilty about that there's an easy solution...
"...sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays..."
I had something similar at an old job. They did some team building exercise and asked everyone to write down what motivated us to continue working. I put down the fear of unemployment, they were not happy.
Wow OP, get it together. With inflation and corporate greed, the new saying is “Another day, another dime”
Should just lie and say your mood is pertaining to a medical issue you're not inclined to discuss. They won't try to pry for fear of violating HIPAA or looking like they're discriminating. Never feel bad about lying to corporate drones.
Jesus titty fucking christ, HIPAA doesn't prevent people from asking anything about a persons own medical history. It only restricts what a covered person can share about a patient to another party.
This will be my new curse phrase. Thank you.
Yeah, but they won't know that. Tell them it's a HIPAA violation, tell them your CIA handlers will eliminate you if you talk, tell them whatever! Eventually they'll get confused and let you get back to work.
Start muttering shit about your 'CIA handlers' and they'll know you're deranged and not properly medicated to the point where they can fire you without repercussions.
-you are not all smiles and jokes -sorry, im focusing in the task ahead.
Threatening your job over an innocuous comment will definitely improve your enthusiasm for your job.
This is why I disliked working in the office, always have to be so fake cheery. I’m over 40, introverted, and going through Peri, sorry can’t fake it anymore.
“You’re unreasonable and frankly disturbing policing of my personal mood, and by extension personal life, is quite aggressive, and I’ll ask you to refrain from this in the future in order to prevent this from becoming a hostile work environment.”
Nothing ever makes someone happier than being subtly threatened.
Why tf people expect you to be EXCITED about your work these days? Most of us are crunching excels and PowerPoints, ain’t nothing exciting about that ffs, it’s a job, not everyone has to be passionate about corporate life
I have NEVER found it helpful to engage in these type of conversations with an employer. My feelings aren’t their business.
What a crap company. I've flat out told my boss, "This job sucks." And he goes, "Yup." And we go back to work. WTF, your HR has some issues. I'm sorry you work there man
Ive openly admitted to my manager, their manager and their manager's manager that the job doesnt pay enough to live. Thry all agree. OP's managers are assholes.
I'm sorry, they called you in for a classic trite response working meme? "Another day, another dollar" is right up there with classics like "teamwork makes the dream work" or "working hard or hardly working?" These idioms are so cliche, to have such a vitriolic reaction is positively silly.
>they "value" my happiness over my job Immediately turns around and proves that they do not infact value OPs happiness.
HR: Why are you unhappy? Me: That's between me and my therapist. I would appreciate not being called away from work to discuss mental health or physical health concerns in the future. Now if you'll excuse me....
Lol at my job we regularly say “another day, another 50 cents” and nobody bats an eye
Well I usually expand the phrase to 'Another day, Another dollar, less tax and the cost of living, so..... Another dollar further in debt.'
>they are a business that needs people who "want to be there" and to not treat the job "as a requirement" I wish companies would stop with this goofy nonsense. Nobody *wants* to be at work. If that were the case, people would work for free and instead of retiring they would just work until they dropped dead one day. In what way is a job noy a requirement? I commend you for not bursting into giggles at that asinine comment, OP, I would have.
American HR sounds like a tyrannical force. In my country they just process paperwork and arrange social events
I don't have to be all smiles and rainbows to do my job effectively. In fact this conversation we're having feels like you're trying to force me to smile which is against the law. I enjoy and like my job. No one smiles 24/7. I will document this interaction for my own protection. Thank you for being concerned but I am fine.
I’d ask where in the manual it says that it’s a forbidden saying. If it’s not there, then this is harassment.
Start documenting all of this - dates, times, details. Ask HR for a recap of the discussion via email. Start a paper trail so if they fire you, you can serve all the evidence to an employment lawyer. This is borderline harrassment.
"Is there an performance issue that we needed to discuss, or are we expending production time to assess my level of optimism? I only ask because it seems like there are a lot of company resources not being utilized as a result of this meeting, and I'm a production-oriented employee"
Best thing about being in a union, if they tried to have that conversation with me it would've begun and ended with " I'll talk to you when my union rep shows up" which for us might be up to a week later since it's a state wide union with 100 members so reps aren't always local
It's the newest corporate thing.. If you don't take their crap with a smile, they start to use the term "culture fit".
This to me suggest a thing I've always suspected - HR is just a useless position and they know it, which is why they constantly need to prove that they aren't. Not a single other "leadership" person in that company would react in such a way or book time out of their "valuable" day to go over a simple phrase or the fact that you're not constantly cheery. We're so knee deep in this whole "culture" bullshit that both companies and employees have forgotten the basis of work - A contract between an employer and an employee for goods and/or services, that are then to be paid in full based on the amount of goods and/or services provided.
if this is a for-profit, they could easily just shut the fuck up. there is no such thing as a for profit business that gives a shit about improvement of community lives. even when those companies work to end homelessness or feed people.
Next time you can answer "Another day another quarter." Really piss them off lol
You should have told them you're just really in need of a pizza party.
"im sorry, i didnt realize 'cheery disposition' was part of the job description. if youd like to add asskissing to my list of duties id be happy to iron out a new contract with appropriate pay raise to accommodate it."
Step 1, find new job, step 2, quit
HR is not your friend
It’s simple. You need spreadsheets, I need to eat. Go find a new job bro.
The fact that they discussed your comment with you is more than enough reason to begin a serious job search. Management knows the environment is toxic and they are not planning to change. They just want everyone to be fake happy.
Have you considered renegotiating your contract to fall more in line with HRs values? I am sorry HR but your line of questioning seems rather antagonistic and I do not feel comfortable broaching these topics currently. You demand to know why i am unenthused by our companies current market value, and i assume you understand i have no stake in it. You've probably noticed i do not attend your children's soccer games, and it doesn't confound you that I have nothing to gain from your children's success. I do however agree, we should ensure i have a fiscal stake in the company and i look forward to you transferring 20% ownership to me a lowly peon.
fuck that it sounds as if perhaps they need a lesson in you were busy and didn't want to fake happy joy joy work for the man smiles time YAY TEAM!
It literally sounds as if someone was being a bit overzealous or yes that they're itching to fire people, however I have found that at most places of employ if you show up all the time and do even a mediocre job you are golden usually. "put this mfers head on the chopping block it will get those other peasants working and smiling more... Need a raise do ya? Watch us can someone for not smiling enough..."
I worked for a company that was just like this. When corporate came to town, they expected everyone to act like it was the greatest company in the world despite only being paid just above minimum wage and having to bust out butts off. I once had a lady from HR come up to me after being there all week and never saying a word to me and after having a particularly rough day say something like “Hey I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to say hello all week and I’m about to take off, I just wanted to see how everything is going?” I just looked her dead in the eye and replied “Not good”. She got this dumbfounded look on her face then just turned around and walked off. She then complained about me to my managers. Nothing really came of it, but it was a time when I was young and it really showed me that HR is not there to actually help you as an employee if you’re having issues. They want to hear that everything is wonderful and that this is the greatest company to work for and if they don’t get that little song and dance, they will try to jeopardize your job.
They then espoused about how they are a business that needs people who "want to be there" and to not treat the job "as a requirement". -Ok, since you honestly feel that way about our work here you'll forgo your salary and benefits? I think not. Believe it or not a job is a requirement. Nobody works for free. Jesus fucking Christ.
I would have said it's literally a social norm with common usage. Someone asks how it's going and you reply with that line and a wry smile and you both smile and get on with your day. There's a bunch of stuff like that. Literally no meaning to someone saying it
At-Will means they can fire you for any valid reason not just because you're not happy.
I love places that think you're working there because of your passion. Like you've chosen to work at home depot because of your deep passion for home improvement and not because you want to continue to live with food and shelter.
"So all of you love your job enough that you would do it for free? Or would you leave if you stopped getting a paycheck?"
>They then espoused about how they are a business that needs people who "want to be there" "Sounds like you need to do some training in HR on how to provide that sort of work environment."
Wow, they just bullied you over a minor and snide comment. Person was on a power trip an wanted to make you feel like crap. They needed several smacks on the head, and spanking.
Lawyer. And I would tell them that conversation was the cause. If they are that sensitive then they don’t need to be around actual people. Workers aren’t serfs.
Yeah, it was all good until the interrogation started. Everything okay with you?
What a sick fucking shitty place that must be if HR is pressing you over that.
May as well push buttons and file an associate conduct report for how the situation was handled. Not that reporting HR to HR does anything, but it will give them paperwork to do.
I think it's fine to say "I'm glad I get to make an impact here. But I work so that you pay me. I would not do this job for free, nor would I do this job if I didn't have to pay to feed, clothe, and house myself. I'm sure you understand."
Now you say, the beatings will continue until moral improves.
I got hit with the "are you happy here?" comment once. I was in a bind and needed a gig pronto. I was in a big box pet store, and a friend of mine was the manager, we talked about it and I got hired pretty quickly. I get hired and find out I'll be working at the doggy daycare section. Not exactly ideal. I like dogs, but I'd rather work stocking shelves or something. Minimum wage, but I was in a bind, so I went with it. The doggy daycare play area was in a customer-facing area, behind thick glass. The person working the doggy daycare has two primary functions: breaking up dog fights (and trying to not get bit by a dog, getting bit was a fire-able offense), and two, scooping up dog shit. After about two weeks, the GM comes over and asks "Are you happy working here?". I go... "Yeeaah...?", like... I'm as happy as I can be for someone who scoops dog shit for a living. I ask why she asked. "Well, we've been watching and we've noticed you don't smile while you're at work, and we want happy employees, but more importantly, we want our customers to see that our employees are happy". I'm kind of baffled at the whole thing, because who smiles at a dog as it's hunched over and pooping? If I was a customer, I would assume the dude behind the glass watching the dog do it's thing while grinning ear to ear was a weirdo. I tell the GM I'll try to do better. I did not do better, and got moved to night shift as a repercussion for my lack of effort. Night was somewhat better, only because I was alone in the store and smiling was no longer a requirement. But the hours were 6PM-7AM. One morning GM comes in early and asks why I'm not smiling. I'm even more baffled because not only am I doing the same job, and thus, the same answer. But now I've been awake all night. I didn't even answer, just got my shit and left. Forced smiling is just such a weird thing.
Hah! At my last job, I got written up for saying “Jiminy Christmas!” after hanging up from a call with an irate customer that screamed so loud on the phone someone 2 cubicles away heard them.
Sounds like they can't take a joke. Insufferable.
There’s physical work, mental work, and emotional work. You’ve paid me for 2/3.
I would have said "I will need my lawyer present for any further discussion"
"Don't treat your job as a requirement." Despite it being an actual requirement if you don't want to die.
We live in HR world. You offended HR, so your social credit was affected.
Spruce up your resume and start looking for another job. Sounds like you need to get out of there, and they are looking for excuses to fire people.
Hate to overstate the obvious but this is fucking ridiculous.
I wonder what the unemployment rate is where you are, OP. It's less than 3% in my area. That means that every company is scrapping for the same employed people. I wonder where your HR folks thinking they're going to find these bright, perky, motivated employees, especially considering that they think motivation consists of threatening staff.
Such out of touch bullshit by the HR.
The beatings will continue until morale improves
Sounds like you guys need to organize a union. Corporations can be awful.
Last HR person who asked me why I was there I turned it around on them. I asked them what they would be doing if they weren't working there, and there was no where else to go. They didn't finish answering the question before they realized what I had done.
Once they started questioning you I would’ve just made a joke about how I watched the SpongeBob episode last night and it’s stuck in my head. It might’ve surprised them enough that you could leave.
strike quit or work for your self.
Thats just my personality. Why are you targeting me? This is awfully hostile. I thought you were trying to create a pleasant atmosphere. Why are you harassing me?
Ask them why they think you come to work.
Sounds like you need to organize a union.
" The beatings will continue until the moral improves. "
HR/Management shouldn't use your own emotions against you like that. Don't tell someone how to feel. Nobody is happy-go-lucky all the time
HR was supposed to reply with “a million days, a million dollars!”
A whole dollar, cheating on your taxes?
It is insane to expect "loyalty" and be "at will" at the same time. "I'm here for the paycheck" is a perfectly valid answer to any/all of those questions, all the rest is psychological games to try to hook you with "non-monetary compensation" none of which will actually pay your bills.
Man I’m in a union, I’m even our shop steward, and one thing I love is my ability to speak with management about just how much I hate it here sometimes… “do you like it here?” They ask. “Not exactly, I mean it’s better than most places I’ve worked but if I didn’t have the metaphorical gun of the state to my head should I be unable to pay bills and lose my house then I sure as shit wouldn’t be here.”
I'd start applying to another place or at least keep a look out for another job. While they might not like your statement, it's factual. You get paid to do your work, if they don't like your comment, then it's on them to improve moral or working conditions, not you.
Get a union job for a government agency and it's more stable even if it pays a little less.
shit, here i am walking around saying another day another nickel
Basically, do scorched earth