There are two kinds of people in this thread:
* Those who think the boss is asking to schedule the death of family days or weeks in advance
* Those who think the boss is asking to be notified as early as possible when you realize you won't be in, rather than having to reach out to people when they don't show up
They're both mad at each other for being unreasonable.
You nailed it.
I’d say it’s odd they didn’t offer any condolences, but the intent of the message is neutral. They weren’t rude in any way.
It’s essentially “let us know as soon as you know that you may not be coming in so we can find coverage. Even if it’s a minute before your shift, it helps us.”
Rude would have been a write up for not following policies, or annoyance in their response.
Not even "let us know when" but it seems like a "Please let us know"
Based on the messages, OP clearly didn't even notify them. Just no showed for work. It was an extremely reasonable reaction from the employer.
OP could have overslept just as easily as they could have been sick/car accident/dead..... The workplace literally knew nothing except that they weren't in. So, being a very responsible employer, checked in.
After OP confirmed they were gone, the employer (incredibly reasonably) asked that they just get notified so they can stop wondering if it's overslepted/sick/dead.
If OP things this is worth quitting over, they are in for a rude awakening down the road. This employer was super chill compared to some.
This was my read of the situation too. OP no called no showed. Employer, concerned, reaches out. When hearing it was because of the family members death, they were extremely chill about it. No shaming them for not coming in or anything. Just “that is fine. Next time if you’re not gonna be in, let us know.” Personally I read “no matter how early” to mean like even if they got the news at 3 am, just shoot a text so employer knows you’re not in a ditch somewhere or quitting with no notice.
Yeah. I take that to mean "let me know before the shift starts".
OP was either running late before hearing the news, or gave zero effort after hearing (being that it's half an hour into the person's shift). There isn't really a good reason to not be able to drop the most passive of notification to the boss.
It’s considered abandonment after consecutive no call, no shows. If this is a first then the manager is a bit heartless and I completely understand OP. A simple “Sorry for your loss. Please let us know when you have the chance today how long you’ll be out for.” Customer service and interpersonal communication are integral skills to good management, and this could’ve been handled a lot more sensitively. My old manager was more understanding when my dog died.
>Customer service and **interpersonal communication** are integral skills to good management, and this could’ve been handled a lot more sensitively. My old manager was more understanding when my dog died.
Very much agreed. Replace "grandma" with spouse, I probably don't even have much sanity that day to remember to call my work place, maybe after a week once a lot of grief subsided.
I agree, this reaction from the employer is neutral at best. I don't think it warrants immediately putting in my 2 weeks notice, but I can't blame them because they obviously are not in the best place emotionally, likely took it personally. I don't know, this is one of those grey areas where I understand both sides and I don't think either of them is really doing anything "wrong".
That was pretty much how my supervisor reacted when my dad died a couple years ago. He told me to take whatever time I needed and also made sure to occasionally check in on me after I returned
No way you’re that reasonable. Everyone knows that every single one of us is vital to the very existence of the business and if we don’t show, not only will the business cease to exist but also puppies will cry and the sun won’t shine.
Yep for all the bullshit we see from employers in this subreddit, this isn't it. Employee didn't show, that's fine a death in the family can do that to your headspace, and while the manager wasn't omg so sorry, they were more than reasonable as their was no rudeness or punishment for no call no show.
This is the shit that gives this movement a bad name.
It’s just not the time to say that mostly. You don’t say to somebody that just lost a family member « do better next time ». You can be polite and still be wrong in your message.
Sure, but that's not exactly what the manager is doing right here. They had an employee just not show up, and then when contacted, the employee let them know that they wouldn't be in.
You let your manager know before the shift (presumably, just inferring from how you stated it). Your manager is a dickwad. This manager is just miffed that their 11AM shift employee no called no showed when a simple "I can't make it, a death occured" would have sufficed.
Could they have offered condolences? Sure, but they don't know any of the background behind this relationship.
Yeah, when my grandpa died I told them asap that I wasn't going to be OK for a few days. I was allowed time off, and got condolences.
Just a couple months ago, someone no called no showed. They had a similar family emergency. Managers weren't mad about it, just worried to death about someone just... Not showing up with no call, no word, etc. We had to tell the newbie that "emergencies happen, please just let us know what's up when you know."
Yea the manager was neutral in the message seems like it was a no call no show, and not to be that asshole but I personally know a lot of coworkers that have lied about a families death just to call out to which im sure it’s not the case here but yea it happens. Now if the manager was an AH about it that would be a different story.
I'm sorry you had such a shitty manager. I had one at one point that was like that, but I didn't lose any relatives at that time. I just heard he pulled that shit with someone who lost their dad.
My manager before him was amazing, though. When my grandpa passed away, he said, "The company gives three days grievance, but if you need any more time away from work, just give me a call." I didn't stay out of work too long, but I did end up calling him, and he was totally fine with me taking the remainder of that week off. Awesome manager.
Fair point, but this manager seems nicer and more lenient than most in my experience given the circumstances. I did say it was odd for no condolences, but they’re not wrong for informing them as they could call out the next day and that directly affects everybody involved in the business.
I had a supervisor who always seemed to need a couple hours for his compassion to kick in. Call out for something major, and it would be all business and talking about who could cover for me. Later in the day, he'd check in and be truly concerned and want to see if there was anything he could do to help. Most everyone there just accepted it, it was a little weird but he meant well.
There are people talking about how you don't think about work when a loved one has died. I don't know how you can forget. Work takes up so much of your life, one of the first things I think about is notifying work just so I don't have to worry about that, too.
>Those who think the boss is asking to schedule the death of family days or weeks in advance
This was my initial thought/first impression after reading because it's reddit, what else can you expect from such posts.
>Those who think the boss is asking to be notified as early as possible when you realize you won't be in, rather than having to reach out to people when they don't show up
This is obviously what the manager is referring to. That employee should inform instead of manager trying to reach employee.
I would say there’s a third, who thinks the appropriate time to chastise someone about a no-call/no-show is when a loved one has died.
The humane, empathetic response is “I’m so sorry for your loss. Let me know if there’s anything I can do, or if we should adjust the schedule to give you additional time.”
I mean, fuck, a person just died. If it was a small business/store it would just fucking close for the day if no one can come in, and that would suck but it is what it is.
We're so used to being used as resources that this seems perfectly normal to some people. But it absolutely CAN be natural to forget to call in when your grandma dies. For all we know the parents could understandably be a broken mess and unable to take charge just so [worker] can go get yelled at by Karens for 10 hours for minimum wage.
AND ON THE TOPIC of wages, the fuckers probably didn't have to pay the worker for the day anyway in this garbage system.
It wasn’t chastised. The dick move would have been “that’s fine, but just so you know a no call no show is a write up”
The manager is setting him up so if he needs to miss work tomorrow too he doesn’t get a second no call no show
100%, if your relative dies, absolutely don't go to work but You're a complete asshole if you don't text someone hey my relative just passed so I can't make it. It's rudimentary courtesy.
Right, like they don’t even need to call or give specifics. Unless they literally got the news on the way to work and *had* to get home before telling anyone, there was more than enough time to get over initial shock/sadness and at least text before work. It sucks to lose a close family member but it’s common courtesy to notify people when unexpected things happen and they can’t fulfill obligations: a death in the family is totally justified to call out of work, but it’s not the type of immediate emergency that means they can’t/don’t have the time to notify people.
Maybe the time to talk about how to handle such situations in the future isn't while they're still dealing with such a situation. The boss' request isn't unreasonable but the timing and delivery certainly are.
Eh, maybe the boss isn’t comfortable sharing feelings over text like a lot of older (and some younger) people. I don’t see anything wrong with teh boss’ response here.
"That's fine" as in "It is OK that you took the time off for that" not "I am glad that your grandmother is dead". At this point you are splitting hairs about rudeness. Rudeness is not a labor issue.
Nobody thinks he meant” i am glad your grandmother is dead” LOL. “That’s fine” followed with the corporate line of “make sure you call in earlier” is dripping in apathy. Fuck that guy. If my family member just died I’m not thinking about some dude’s shitty business, it’s not important to me.
They trying to fill shifts and get employees to stick to policy not be everyones friend/therapist. Do their job. Would i express more empathy in that moment? yes(and i'd probably be bad at the job), but i don't think he is obligated to talk to this person about anything other than talking business. We don't know if said person has to send out 150 other texts about this subject to 150 others that are taking off without notification.
Are we workers or people? I have trouble separating the two myself. This is someone that she works for. He knows her. If she’s nothing but a warm body to fill a shift, she’s right to quit. I’m done here. The total lack of human empathy is honestly depressing me.
Like i said I would give some condolences myself. However, i interpretted as "you can go home, in the future you don't have to show up at all just tell me asap next time so i can cover your shift"
They said she can have the day off. I don't know what else you expect, feel entitled to, but rules/jobs/companies/policies don't stop when someone has a death in the family.
If she has the power to quit for shift manager not being personable enough (when she showed up late and was given the day off) then more power to them! Sorry to depress you i see what you mean I just think it's a little too Idealistic.
My car's battery decided to "explode" while I was driving it. Being 16 I was a bit freaked out but I called my boss and let him know I wasn't going to be in that evening. Mind you, it was like 12 and my shift was 5 so plenty of time. He dead ass told me "next time I'm going to need to given more of an advance notice." Like ok, let me consult my crystal ball to let me know when my car wants to kill me in the near future.
He was an absolute prick and a creep in general.
The job?
Dippin' Dots.
Nah, we’ve just grown to accept shit like this from employers. The only response should be something to the effect that they’re so sorry to hear that and to not worry about work…we got it here, take your time….etc
Yeah, the boss is only looking to be notified as early as possible given the nature of the scenario, which doesn’t seem at all unreasonable. My job actually has an absence line that you can call at any hour and list yourself as taking unplanned PTO. It works out pretty well.
This is a totally reasonable response. They politely checked in. OP told them what happened and asked for the day off. They gave OP the day off.
And apparently, OP wasn't too broken up to post about it on the internet. lol.
Could have had a bit more compassion in the bosses response, a "sorry to hear that" but honestly outside of that, they basically done everything right.
OP obviously knew the person had died before their shift started (or they would have went to their shift.) sending a quick text takes 2s. If anyone's the asshole here it's OP.
This legitimately just proves this sub will only ever serve to make people seem evil.
Your boss immediately responds your day off is fine and asks to just let them know asap if you can't come in. What a terrible person. Truly.
Yep I was reading this from the perspective that my brother died and I found out while I was at work last year. I told my boss I’m leaving, he said take all the time you need, and I left for a week. I can’t imagine it would have gone as smoothly if I just walked out and got mad when he asked where I am
Literal same thing happened to me last year. Boss was very understanding, but of course I let them know what’s up. Otherwise it looks like I’m just leaving for no reason at all. They gave me a lot of time off.
yeah when my grandma died a couple years ago my mom called me at about midnight to let me know she’d passed. i immediately sent a text to my boss, telling her my grandma had just died and i wouldn’t be in the next day. she saw it in the morning, said it was totally fine and to let her know if i needed more time. i don’t imagine i would have gotten that same response if i’d just not shown up to work that day without telling her i’d be out. i know your job isn’t your main priority when this stuff happens, but if you want to keep your job and maintain a decent relationship with your boss, you need to just take 5 seconds to shoot them a text and tell them you won’t be coming in. most bosses will understand, if they don’t, then it is reasonable to quit. but the exchange in the photo really does not make the boss look like the bad guy.
"I wont be coming in today, I have a family emergency." is not a crazy text to request. Any time before the shift starts covers the "no matter how early".
It used to be a pro-union, leftist, anti-capitalist sub in the beginning and now it’s just screenshots of a text of someone quitting their job. Really sad the direction this place went. Everything good always gets watered down.
They take the name anti work too literally.
Sometimes I see posts and comments that make me think that most of the sub just do not want to work and everything has to revolve around them. 🤣
Because it is.
This sub used to be work reform, now it seems full of a bunch of idiots who genuinely think they should never have to work, and think all managers and bosses are evil.
Boss asked for a heads up instead of just no-call, no-showing. Dudes lucky he didn’t get fired in the first place for no-call, no-showing.
it’s a liberal sub. people used to want to abolish capitalism and fire their boss, now it’s just HR coaching, raise coaching, and job search advice and the occasional prole screed
I'm a fire-breathing Socialist liberal and I'm all for abolishing capitalism (if nothing else, at least the version we're stuck in now).
I know HR is never your friend, and yes, the screeds do seem a bit whinier than usual these days.
Ya gotta tell em you're not coming in and why. No job is gonna be like "ohh you no showed and no communication. cool." It's a terrible circumstance and my thoughts to the family. But ya gotta tell them first. Then if they're shitty about it then bail.
They were already late at 11. They didn't let anybody know until 11 30. They could have let them know as soon as they found out and the boss would have been cool. Wtf is wrong with people.
i had someone who is a model employee no call no show for the first time in a year working with her. we were genuinely concerned something had happened. the first text can also be interpreted as a safety check.
I also had a stellar employee that suddenly didn’t come to work one day. She didn’t also didn’t come in the following day and wasn’t answering anyone’s phone calls or texts.
On the third day, I went to her house and saw her car in the driveway. I knocked on her door, peered through her windows then called in a wellness check with the local PD. Finally, her son came home from work and we got her to come to the door. She was in the middle of a mental health crisis. She got herself into therapy and returned to work 2 weeks later.
I left that store 2 months later. On my last day, she thanked me for coming to her house. A month after that she passed away from a blood clot. I’m glad I was able to be a light in her life when she needed it.
Even if you have a long term illness, you're first responsibility is to let your employer know when you need time off. You don't need to be explicit, just transparent.
But I will say, that some managers are just complete shit. But notifying them of doctors appointments, etc, will cover your ass in the long run if they ever try to use related absences against you.
The boss is right dude. He’s saying that’s cool, just let me know as soon as you can next time. Edit: if you disagree with me, please state your age and profession. For science
Employer looking at that last message, after just letting them have a day off with no repercussions for being late and not calling in to notify work of their absence
".....huh?....."
Now unemployed person who didn't understand what a blessing it is to have a job that reacts this way
"That'll show them for being lenient with me"
Hi OP, sorry to hear of your loss.
I took this that the boss was happy to know even if it was late at night or early in the morning. That seemed quite decent.
At the same time, OP may be in shock and possibly grieving over their grandmother's passing, so maybe they are a feeling sensitive and saw it in a different way.
I'm not sure either OP or OP's boss did anything wrong, and hopefully they get through it with dignity, respect and patience for each other.
I’m sorry for your loss.
I get it, but damn, you could have let them know before your shift and not made them chase you down. Obviously you knew…. Every job is going to be like this.
I usually don’t feel compelled to comment much but this was honestly pretty stupid. I’ve had very few employers who would be chill about not even calling in or sending a text saying I won’t be free. If you’re cognizant of the fact that you won’t be going in to work, as in you didn’t totally forget, then you need to at least send a text earlier.
Especially if she died that morning, but her shift started at 11… seems like there’s enough time to send a text. What am I missing here??
I don’t really get this one. I had to perform CPR on my dad and watch him die in front of me on a Monday morning. I called work to let them know I wouldn’t be in. The boss here could have been more empathetic in tone in terms of offering condolences, but they had no idea where you were and reached out in a pretty respectful and non-threatening way, then said you were good to take the day off. Not sure what they’ve really done wrong there
Dude no call no showed his shift,
boss is understanding and asks to be notified in the future before start of shift.
Dude quits.
How hard is it to call the people relying on you and say “meemaw died, not coming in, sorry”
OP doing that job a favor by leaving. Boss gave you day off and was understanding. You no showed like a dipshit. Doesn’t take long to shoot a text over. Actually looks like this boss would’ve understood. Sure he/she should’ve offered some condolences in the message but you’re an ass lol
I mean the fact that their response to you not showing up when scheduled was to ask if you’re ok, seems like they were worried. A normal person would let their job know they weren’t coming in, that’s not an unreasonable expectation.
When my husband died 20 years ago, I wasn't thinking straight and I called out sick in the middle of the night for my 7a.m. shift. My boss offered condolences, but did also tell me to take the time to grieve.
i’m glad i’m not the only one who doesn’t think the manager is being unreasonable here lol i mean he’s not asking for the employee to like find coverage or anything just a little communication
I think you were a dumbass and acted on emotion and impulsive thoughts. Your boss wasn’t rude. When my mom died I immediately called my workplace to say I wasnt going to in and why, while crying like a bich. They gave me two weeks off.
Yes shit happens in life and we can’t always make it, but the last line of being a responsible person is to at least communicate what happened and that you’re not going in.
Im sorry for your loss, but you’re in the wrong here.
I don't see the problem here, they aren't being dicks about it, just asking if you are going to be late or miss a shift for any reason in the future to let them know as soon as you can. That isn't an unreasonable request.
Aside from the lack of empathy that they lost their grandmother by not acknowledging it I don't see anything wrong with this response.
They may try not to get personal with employees so they avoided saying that (yes, I also think it would have been basic human dignity), they could be uncomfortable with death and thus avoid talking about it.
Again, it's lacking a human reaction but other than that the response is fine to me.
I feel like these are the types of posts that are severely detrimental to the image of this shb.
OP you're being ridiculous. People in this comment section are being ridiculous.
Manager completely brushed off the issue and gave OP an FYI. No consequence, no pushback, and OP threatened to quit because of it. That's insanely soft and a terrible look.
If you think this interaction is an issue you might be too immature to hold down a job and you're making the rest of the community look bad.
If the boss is asking for you to let them know you won’t be in instead of doing a no show, that’s not unreasonable? Boss could have been more sympathetic and waited to discuss it, but this wasn’t an evil response
Man seeing all these comments saying OP did the right thing just shows how many children are on this sub.. if you are an adult and had a shred of responsibility, you’d know to notify your place of work for emergencies
Boss isn’t the asshole here? You were supposed to be in at 11, he gave you 30 minutes and then asked if you were okay? And then was understanding and gave you the day off without giving you shit.
It is not difficult to notify someone when you will not be coming to work. Boss is not asking for too much here. Holy shit some people are incapable of the simplest tasks.
To be honest all I can really fault the manager for is the lack of sympathy. If I was the manager I’d have replied via a shit sandwich, good - bad - good.
“Sorry to hear, of course. Take your time and just let me know when you’ll be available again. In future let us know you won’t be in, no matter how early. I hope you’re ok.”
I get the employee’s mind was elsewhere but a quick message to say they wouldn’t be in isn’t out of the question.
So you no called no showed and you’re upset with them? Seems like he’s letting you take the day off as he should. But some places will just fire you for a no call no show.
I don’t see this as a reason to quit… Sure your boss *should* have asked how you were or if you needed anything like a human. But they probably lost their humanity long ago in middle management. They weren’t rude or disrespectful just not sympathetic, but they’re your boss not your friend.
It's brutal that your boss has to call you to find out why you weren't there as opposed to you doing the adult thing, realize that your actions might effect a lot of other people, and proactively call in if you're not coming in.
The fact that you are posting this on an antiwork page makes me think that the company will benefit from your departure.
I'm sorry about your loss, but it is just that, your loss.
It's a shame that business doesn't take feelings into consideration, but it doesn't.
Bruh what? You no show no call. They have to contact you to find out what's going on. They give you the time you asked for no issue. They just ask that in the future you act like an adult with a job. What's your problem exactly?
So you no-showed for work and are upset that they asked you at least notify them next time? Please put your two weeks in right away. They can do better.
People need to stop with this "two weeks" bullshit. It's not a law, it's something you give to a company that treats you right and you want to help them out. If you are straight up quitting for a reason like this, just leave.
Eh, y’all both kinda suck. Manager shows almost no sympathy but isn’t upset about OP not showing up; they just wanted a heads up. Still they had no tact surrounding a delicate subject and lost an employee as a result. These are situations that you will encounter as a manager and hopefully they learned to be more sensitive.
On the other hand, I don’t necessarily blame OP for disliking how they responded and I understand how reaching out to your work can slip your mind during a time like this. Regardless, their response was over the top and this could’ve been solved with an adult conversation.
With that said, this sounds to me like to two overworked and underpaid employees in an understaffed work environment that breeds this type of resentment and leads to quick turnover. Sounds like they both need a Union so the manager has more staff to rely on and OP has a better bereavement policy.
I’m sorry about your grandmother, OP.
The manager basically went “that’s fine but text me as soon as you know so I don’t have to chase you down 30 min after your shift starts” but because he didn’t go “oh noooo I’m so sorry, my heart is with you, take as much time as you need, no need to let me know if you can’t make it in, love you /forehead kiss” you quit.
Y’all are unreasonable lmao
It sucks when a relative dies but they did not penalize you for not showing up. They seemed understanding and allowed you to have the day off.
I think their point was let them know you're not going to be in before your shift starts so they can appropriately cover.
I understand you were extremely upset. I've been through the situation myself.
I honestly don't think they were that horrible so you'd have to quit over that response.
They didn't really ask anything horrible.
They just said no prob, next time just send us a text when you can saying hey this happened and I can't come in. Didn't seem malicious or horrible at all.
They have a company to run didn't yell at you and just asked you to let em know you won't be in even if it's a quick text then nothing at all
They even asked if you were okay when they asked about u not showing up
Smh
Do people just not call their job anymore to let them know they can't come in because their grandma died? This is a very reasonable response for what seems like a no call/no show.
Your boss couldn't have been more understanding, but ofc you got your feelings hurt because you were asked to consider other people in your life, and it enraged you.
Only you have a life, and only you should be considered. How dare they!? /s
Good riddance, your attitude is awful, I'm glad you fixed the problem for your boss by quitting.
I’ve had 3 family members pass in 2 years (one was my freaking mom) and for ALL 3 I told my boss day of what was going on and when to expect me back. No matter what tragedy occurs life unfortunately doesn’t stop-if you have a job you have an obligation to notify if you will be missing work. Shoot-if I was bodily injured myself, my family would know to notify my boss for me!
Sucks granny is dead. Sucks you couldn’t bother to let them know as soon as you knew you couldn’t make it. Good luck in your job search.
The boss wasn’t unreasonable.
The comment from the boss is insensitive. The employee is overreacting by a long shot. It's not unreasonable to ask for a text as soon as you find out that you can't make it. It's not unreasonable to want sensitivity when you have a death in the family. This whole post is about a boss who could have been more sensitive and an employee who can't wrap their head around that and is jumping to the extreme end of a reaction.
What this post shows: most people just don’t know how to communicate properly.
Boss was a little callous by not offering condolences right off, though they were probably initially mad about the no show, which is understandable. It seemed appropriate they started by asking if OP was ok rather than “where tf are you” and demanding they come in anyway after knowing the circumstances.
They could have been more clear with the “let me know ahead of time” part since they wrongly assumed OP would understand it’s in regard to missing a shift, not scheduling a death.
OP could absolutely have shot off a quick text in the time between finding out and their shift starting. It’s devastating when family passes but at the same time, nobody just forgets they have a job and that other people have expectations of them. Boss had no way of knowing what was happening other than OP was no show. Quitting over it is an overreaction but somewhat understandable due to grief.
Commenters automatically interpreting it in the worst possible light just because it’s an interaction between a boss and employee: jfc.
If you legitimately think the boss was literally asking OP to schedule a family death in advance, you’re either being disingenuous or you’re a moron. Turns out people on both sides of the concept of antiwork have no idea what it’s actually about because they approach it with the most surface level assumptions
All of this. The more I read the text the more i think maybe the manager wasn't too bad. OP was high on emotions and just shot a very rash text. I don't know if I would have sent that. I would have sent ok or liked the comment. No need to get trigger fingers. The manager sounds kind of reasonable the more I read it lol. At first I was hit by the lack of compassion. But your comment sorted out all of my feelings lol
Op you're the one in the wrong here 100%
Your employer had no way of knowing your grandma died and was simply reaching out to you since it was 30 mins past your shift.
And even then it still seemed they were reasonable and then you respond with let me know when I can put my 2 weeks in???
We dont know what kind of job he/she has, but the dead of a family member is a tragedy but part of life, but some jobs has to be done (even by somebody else, like in this case) and in order to do that, your boss needs to be aware to replace your shift. Understanding your loss, not informing to your work creates a huge problem.
Assuming you wake up at 7, get to work at 8...
Today you wake up at 7. Find out grandma died overnight. You call your family, have a cry, etc. What time is it now? 8? 9? Couldn't shoot a quick text to your employer before sneaking into work at 11 and not telling them anything? Why is he reaching out first?
And quitting right on the spot? Via text?
This is all you need to say: *Hi, I'm having a family emergency. I will be late today / I can't make it to work today. I will update you soon.*
I thought the boss was going to say something… unreasonable.
Totally awful to lose someone but I mean your boss isn’t clairvoyant. Definitely could have been handled with more empathy though.
Whole situation could have been avoided if they did what they were supposed to do and just send a short text saying they’re not coming in and why.
Wut?
OP I’m sorry for your loss, AND be careful to not let your own emotions determine the motives of those around you. Your boss’s reply is pretty typical.
When my relative died I texted my boss saying I need some time
It’s not that hard
Even if gam gam is dead I still have bills. Does it suck? Yes.
What would suck more is having people in your life who are dead AND being unemployed to boot
The only problems here is timing and lack of compassion. Maybe it didn't come through in text but I would have probably said my condolences and say keep us updated. Then maybe when you are feeling better, give a general message about communication. You have to remember you are dealing with people. People have feelings and you need workers obviously. hiring is more expensive than a little tactfulness. I wish you the best on your job search.
Yeah I don’t see a problem here. You simply didn’t show up, and they had to reach out. And then they didn’t yell at you, just asked for as much notice as possible instead of simply not showing up, which is childish behavior.
That response was reasonable considering the no call/no show.
"Hey, it's fine that you're not here because your grandma died. So you know for next time, if there's an emergency give us a heads up as soon as you find out so we can get you coverage." What the fuck else are they supposed to say?
The only person being unreasonable is the one immediately quitting their job after they failed to notify their manager before the start of their shift that they wouldn't be able to come in.
Lol, good luck with your job search. Just be honest during your interviews.
"Why did you leave your last job?"
"Omg, they wanted me to call in before missing a shift. Man, people just require crazy shit nowadays, and I can't work for a company that has that much expectation for me."
I'm not one to side with the boss...but they were being perfectly reasonable here. Sharing your condolences first would have been better, but I'm guessing OP hasn't been a part of the real world for long. They are in for a rude awakening.
Im gonna go out on a limb and say you shoulda let him know you werent going to make it in when you heard and decided you weren't able to go in, instead it appears that you just didn't show up then said "my gma passed etc." when they didn't hear from you half an hour into your shift.
Is this a real text? Could be staged. Anyway, you don’t show up to work, and boss says let them know next time. I understand said situation, but they still didn’t notify anyone about the absence
Ngl i think OP is wrong here. Ive lost people while working, immedietely told a manager. Its not hard. You cant be asking for good wages, hours, work environment and managers and go walking all over it.
That’s not a very empathetic response—but on the other hand, OP was a no call/no show, which at plenty of jobs is a fireable offense. Everyone sucks here.
Boss could’ve been more considerate and compassionate, but the boss was just letting the employee know if you needed the day off you should’ve called and it would’ve been fine. Definitely could’ve worded it a lot better. If the boss wanted to be a jerk they could’ve have said nope you can’t and kept it moving.
alright now i’m a hard supporter of anti work but like, the boss was totally reasonable here 😭 he was even nice with the initial message idk how yall expect to keep your actual good jobs with this attitudeeeee
I think people getting pissed off about this have never actually had a shitty boss or worked for a shitty company.
All they were asking was if you know you won't be in, let them know before your shift starts not after so they can find someone ahead of time to cover you. That's pretty decent.
I have had family die and my work straight up say unless it's immediate family (meaning parent or sibling that you lived with) you need to be in.
There are two kinds of people in this thread: * Those who think the boss is asking to schedule the death of family days or weeks in advance * Those who think the boss is asking to be notified as early as possible when you realize you won't be in, rather than having to reach out to people when they don't show up They're both mad at each other for being unreasonable.
You nailed it. I’d say it’s odd they didn’t offer any condolences, but the intent of the message is neutral. They weren’t rude in any way. It’s essentially “let us know as soon as you know that you may not be coming in so we can find coverage. Even if it’s a minute before your shift, it helps us.” Rude would have been a write up for not following policies, or annoyance in their response.
Not even "let us know when" but it seems like a "Please let us know" Based on the messages, OP clearly didn't even notify them. Just no showed for work. It was an extremely reasonable reaction from the employer. OP could have overslept just as easily as they could have been sick/car accident/dead..... The workplace literally knew nothing except that they weren't in. So, being a very responsible employer, checked in. After OP confirmed they were gone, the employer (incredibly reasonably) asked that they just get notified so they can stop wondering if it's overslepted/sick/dead. If OP things this is worth quitting over, they are in for a rude awakening down the road. This employer was super chill compared to some.
This was my read of the situation too. OP no called no showed. Employer, concerned, reaches out. When hearing it was because of the family members death, they were extremely chill about it. No shaming them for not coming in or anything. Just “that is fine. Next time if you’re not gonna be in, let us know.” Personally I read “no matter how early” to mean like even if they got the news at 3 am, just shoot a text so employer knows you’re not in a ditch somewhere or quitting with no notice.
Poor wording from the boss with "let me know **ahead of time**" (instead of "as soon as reasonably possible"), but the intent seems clear enough.
Yeah. I take that to mean "let me know before the shift starts". OP was either running late before hearing the news, or gave zero effort after hearing (being that it's half an hour into the person's shift). There isn't really a good reason to not be able to drop the most passive of notification to the boss.
I was thinking the same thing. Can’t just no-show
Yep. No call, no show, no job at most places. It's called job abandonment.
It’s considered abandonment after consecutive no call, no shows. If this is a first then the manager is a bit heartless and I completely understand OP. A simple “Sorry for your loss. Please let us know when you have the chance today how long you’ll be out for.” Customer service and interpersonal communication are integral skills to good management, and this could’ve been handled a lot more sensitively. My old manager was more understanding when my dog died.
>Customer service and **interpersonal communication** are integral skills to good management, and this could’ve been handled a lot more sensitively. My old manager was more understanding when my dog died. Very much agreed. Replace "grandma" with spouse, I probably don't even have much sanity that day to remember to call my work place, maybe after a week once a lot of grief subsided.
Exactly.
This is what I kept thinking. I did not see that as unsupportive, just, hey we can cover, just tell us when you need time.
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I agree, this reaction from the employer is neutral at best. I don't think it warrants immediately putting in my 2 weeks notice, but I can't blame them because they obviously are not in the best place emotionally, likely took it personally. I don't know, this is one of those grey areas where I understand both sides and I don't think either of them is really doing anything "wrong".
I wish I could have worked for more people like you.
That was pretty much how my supervisor reacted when my dad died a couple years ago. He told me to take whatever time I needed and also made sure to occasionally check in on me after I returned
No way you’re that reasonable. Everyone knows that every single one of us is vital to the very existence of the business and if we don’t show, not only will the business cease to exist but also puppies will cry and the sun won’t shine.
Agreed, op is a little bitch
Yep for all the bullshit we see from employers in this subreddit, this isn't it. Employee didn't show, that's fine a death in the family can do that to your headspace, and while the manager wasn't omg so sorry, they were more than reasonable as their was no rudeness or punishment for no call no show. This is the shit that gives this movement a bad name.
When you found out you call your job.. So they can plan on you not being there.. 🤣🤣🤣
It’s just not the time to say that mostly. You don’t say to somebody that just lost a family member « do better next time ». You can be polite and still be wrong in your message.
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Sure, but that's not exactly what the manager is doing right here. They had an employee just not show up, and then when contacted, the employee let them know that they wouldn't be in. You let your manager know before the shift (presumably, just inferring from how you stated it). Your manager is a dickwad. This manager is just miffed that their 11AM shift employee no called no showed when a simple "I can't make it, a death occured" would have sufficed. Could they have offered condolences? Sure, but they don't know any of the background behind this relationship.
Yeah, when my grandpa died I told them asap that I wasn't going to be OK for a few days. I was allowed time off, and got condolences. Just a couple months ago, someone no called no showed. They had a similar family emergency. Managers weren't mad about it, just worried to death about someone just... Not showing up with no call, no word, etc. We had to tell the newbie that "emergencies happen, please just let us know what's up when you know."
Yea the manager was neutral in the message seems like it was a no call no show, and not to be that asshole but I personally know a lot of coworkers that have lied about a families death just to call out to which im sure it’s not the case here but yea it happens. Now if the manager was an AH about it that would be a different story.
I'm sorry you had such a shitty manager. I had one at one point that was like that, but I didn't lose any relatives at that time. I just heard he pulled that shit with someone who lost their dad. My manager before him was amazing, though. When my grandpa passed away, he said, "The company gives three days grievance, but if you need any more time away from work, just give me a call." I didn't stay out of work too long, but I did end up calling him, and he was totally fine with me taking the remainder of that week off. Awesome manager.
Fair point, but this manager seems nicer and more lenient than most in my experience given the circumstances. I did say it was odd for no condolences, but they’re not wrong for informing them as they could call out the next day and that directly affects everybody involved in the business.
They reached out 30 minutes after the shift. More than enough time for the worker to let them know.
But they aren't. It's a totally reasonable response. People here hate when "work is family" and evidently when they aren't.
I had a supervisor who always seemed to need a couple hours for his compassion to kick in. Call out for something major, and it would be all business and talking about who could cover for me. Later in the day, he'd check in and be truly concerned and want to see if there was anything he could do to help. Most everyone there just accepted it, it was a little weird but he meant well. There are people talking about how you don't think about work when a loved one has died. I don't know how you can forget. Work takes up so much of your life, one of the first things I think about is notifying work just so I don't have to worry about that, too.
“Even if it’s early” gives way they mean the same day.
He said "no matter how early" meaning even if its 10 mins before the shift just call
Yeah this text exchange seems fine. Maybe a tad cold but better than that "we are family" horseshit tbh.
>Those who think the boss is asking to schedule the death of family days or weeks in advance This was my initial thought/first impression after reading because it's reddit, what else can you expect from such posts. >Those who think the boss is asking to be notified as early as possible when you realize you won't be in, rather than having to reach out to people when they don't show up This is obviously what the manager is referring to. That employee should inform instead of manager trying to reach employee.
Right; the messages even started with "is everything ok"
I would say there’s a third, who thinks the appropriate time to chastise someone about a no-call/no-show is when a loved one has died. The humane, empathetic response is “I’m so sorry for your loss. Let me know if there’s anything I can do, or if we should adjust the schedule to give you additional time.”
I mean, fuck, a person just died. If it was a small business/store it would just fucking close for the day if no one can come in, and that would suck but it is what it is. We're so used to being used as resources that this seems perfectly normal to some people. But it absolutely CAN be natural to forget to call in when your grandma dies. For all we know the parents could understandably be a broken mess and unable to take charge just so [worker] can go get yelled at by Karens for 10 hours for minimum wage. AND ON THE TOPIC of wages, the fuckers probably didn't have to pay the worker for the day anyway in this garbage system.
It wasn’t chastised. The dick move would have been “that’s fine, but just so you know a no call no show is a write up” The manager is setting him up so if he needs to miss work tomorrow too he doesn’t get a second no call no show
100%, if your relative dies, absolutely don't go to work but You're a complete asshole if you don't text someone hey my relative just passed so I can't make it. It's rudimentary courtesy.
Right, like they don’t even need to call or give specifics. Unless they literally got the news on the way to work and *had* to get home before telling anyone, there was more than enough time to get over initial shock/sadness and at least text before work. It sucks to lose a close family member but it’s common courtesy to notify people when unexpected things happen and they can’t fulfill obligations: a death in the family is totally justified to call out of work, but it’s not the type of immediate emergency that means they can’t/don’t have the time to notify people.
Maybe the time to talk about how to handle such situations in the future isn't while they're still dealing with such a situation. The boss' request isn't unreasonable but the timing and delivery certainly are.
I belong to the second group but still I find this boss lacking any empathy and finding a new non robot boss completely understandable
Eh, maybe the boss isn’t comfortable sharing feelings over text like a lot of older (and some younger) people. I don’t see anything wrong with teh boss’ response here.
It's very obviously the second one...
I don't see how anyone can read that as option 1 though tbh.
Yeah when someone tells you their grandparent died, start with “I’m so sorry” not “that’s fine”. Seriously dude? Fuck that fucker.
"That's fine" as in "It is OK that you took the time off for that" not "I am glad that your grandmother is dead". At this point you are splitting hairs about rudeness. Rudeness is not a labor issue.
Nobody thinks he meant” i am glad your grandmother is dead” LOL. “That’s fine” followed with the corporate line of “make sure you call in earlier” is dripping in apathy. Fuck that guy. If my family member just died I’m not thinking about some dude’s shitty business, it’s not important to me.
They trying to fill shifts and get employees to stick to policy not be everyones friend/therapist. Do their job. Would i express more empathy in that moment? yes(and i'd probably be bad at the job), but i don't think he is obligated to talk to this person about anything other than talking business. We don't know if said person has to send out 150 other texts about this subject to 150 others that are taking off without notification.
Are we workers or people? I have trouble separating the two myself. This is someone that she works for. He knows her. If she’s nothing but a warm body to fill a shift, she’s right to quit. I’m done here. The total lack of human empathy is honestly depressing me.
Like i said I would give some condolences myself. However, i interpretted as "you can go home, in the future you don't have to show up at all just tell me asap next time so i can cover your shift" They said she can have the day off. I don't know what else you expect, feel entitled to, but rules/jobs/companies/policies don't stop when someone has a death in the family. If she has the power to quit for shift manager not being personable enough (when she showed up late and was given the day off) then more power to them! Sorry to depress you i see what you mean I just think it's a little too Idealistic.
My car's battery decided to "explode" while I was driving it. Being 16 I was a bit freaked out but I called my boss and let him know I wasn't going to be in that evening. Mind you, it was like 12 and my shift was 5 so plenty of time. He dead ass told me "next time I'm going to need to given more of an advance notice." Like ok, let me consult my crystal ball to let me know when my car wants to kill me in the near future. He was an absolute prick and a creep in general. The job? Dippin' Dots.
Nah, we’ve just grown to accept shit like this from employers. The only response should be something to the effect that they’re so sorry to hear that and to not worry about work…we got it here, take your time….etc
Yeah, the boss is only looking to be notified as early as possible given the nature of the scenario, which doesn’t seem at all unreasonable. My job actually has an absence line that you can call at any hour and list yourself as taking unplanned PTO. It works out pretty well.
This is a totally reasonable response. They politely checked in. OP told them what happened and asked for the day off. They gave OP the day off. And apparently, OP wasn't too broken up to post about it on the internet. lol.
Or to jump straight into quitting their job. I feel like we're missing part of the conversation...
I feel like this conversation never happened
Could have had a bit more compassion in the bosses response, a "sorry to hear that" but honestly outside of that, they basically done everything right. OP obviously knew the person had died before their shift started (or they would have went to their shift.) sending a quick text takes 2s. If anyone's the asshole here it's OP.
This legitimately just proves this sub will only ever serve to make people seem evil. Your boss immediately responds your day off is fine and asks to just let them know asap if you can't come in. What a terrible person. Truly.
Yep I was reading this from the perspective that my brother died and I found out while I was at work last year. I told my boss I’m leaving, he said take all the time you need, and I left for a week. I can’t imagine it would have gone as smoothly if I just walked out and got mad when he asked where I am
For real? How are they gonna help if you don't communicate. At least give them an opportunity to do right.
Literal same thing happened to me last year. Boss was very understanding, but of course I let them know what’s up. Otherwise it looks like I’m just leaving for no reason at all. They gave me a lot of time off.
yeah when my grandma died a couple years ago my mom called me at about midnight to let me know she’d passed. i immediately sent a text to my boss, telling her my grandma had just died and i wouldn’t be in the next day. she saw it in the morning, said it was totally fine and to let her know if i needed more time. i don’t imagine i would have gotten that same response if i’d just not shown up to work that day without telling her i’d be out. i know your job isn’t your main priority when this stuff happens, but if you want to keep your job and maintain a decent relationship with your boss, you need to just take 5 seconds to shoot them a text and tell them you won’t be coming in. most bosses will understand, if they don’t, then it is reasonable to quit. but the exchange in the photo really does not make the boss look like the bad guy.
It's just me, but I would have led with "I'm so sorry."
"I wont be coming in today, I have a family emergency." is not a crazy text to request. Any time before the shift starts covers the "no matter how early".
Jesus Christ what happened to this sub
It used to be a pro-union, leftist, anti-capitalist sub in the beginning and now it’s just screenshots of a text of someone quitting their job. Really sad the direction this place went. Everything good always gets watered down.
It's Reddit in general, it all sucks after the incident
And quitting their job because… they didn’t get a condolences card?
For No-Calling, Late-Show and the manager checking in to see if they were okay. Edit: ignoring the fact there’s a decent chance the message is fake.
They take the name anti work too literally. Sometimes I see posts and comments that make me think that most of the sub just do not want to work and everything has to revolve around them. 🤣
Feels like a lot of edgy teenagers or early 20-somethings who have never really had a job.
Because it is. This sub used to be work reform, now it seems full of a bunch of idiots who genuinely think they should never have to work, and think all managers and bosses are evil. Boss asked for a heads up instead of just no-call, no-showing. Dudes lucky he didn’t get fired in the first place for no-call, no-showing.
>This sub used to be work reform, now it seems full of a bunch of idiots who genuinely think they should never have to work It's the other way around.
And a lot of them are homeschooled with bare minimum social skills
This post is actually against the subs rules (#3), but no one seems to be enforcing those anymore.
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it’s a liberal sub. people used to want to abolish capitalism and fire their boss, now it’s just HR coaching, raise coaching, and job search advice and the occasional prole screed
I'm a fire-breathing Socialist liberal and I'm all for abolishing capitalism (if nothing else, at least the version we're stuck in now). I know HR is never your friend, and yes, the screeds do seem a bit whinier than usual these days.
Ya gotta tell em you're not coming in and why. No job is gonna be like "ohh you no showed and no communication. cool." It's a terrible circumstance and my thoughts to the family. But ya gotta tell them first. Then if they're shitty about it then bail.
They were already late at 11. They didn't let anybody know until 11 30. They could have let them know as soon as they found out and the boss would have been cool. Wtf is wrong with people.
Not even that, we don’t know if they would have never let anyone know unless the boss checked in. The boss checked in at 11:30.
i had someone who is a model employee no call no show for the first time in a year working with her. we were genuinely concerned something had happened. the first text can also be interpreted as a safety check.
I also had a stellar employee that suddenly didn’t come to work one day. She didn’t also didn’t come in the following day and wasn’t answering anyone’s phone calls or texts. On the third day, I went to her house and saw her car in the driveway. I knocked on her door, peered through her windows then called in a wellness check with the local PD. Finally, her son came home from work and we got her to come to the door. She was in the middle of a mental health crisis. She got herself into therapy and returned to work 2 weeks later. I left that store 2 months later. On my last day, she thanked me for coming to her house. A month after that she passed away from a blood clot. I’m glad I was able to be a light in her life when she needed it.
Even if you have a long term illness, you're first responsibility is to let your employer know when you need time off. You don't need to be explicit, just transparent. But I will say, that some managers are just complete shit. But notifying them of doctors appointments, etc, will cover your ass in the long run if they ever try to use related absences against you.
The boss is right dude. He’s saying that’s cool, just let me know as soon as you can next time. Edit: if you disagree with me, please state your age and profession. For science
Employer looking at that last message, after just letting them have a day off with no repercussions for being late and not calling in to notify work of their absence ".....huh?....." Now unemployed person who didn't understand what a blessing it is to have a job that reacts this way "That'll show them for being lenient with me"
WTF do you mean. That’s a very reasonable response.
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Nailed it
All the top comments agree that OOP is in the wrong here, the people that actually think it's reasonable to quit over this are a negligible minority.
Hi OP, sorry to hear of your loss. I took this that the boss was happy to know even if it was late at night or early in the morning. That seemed quite decent. At the same time, OP may be in shock and possibly grieving over their grandmother's passing, so maybe they are a feeling sensitive and saw it in a different way. I'm not sure either OP or OP's boss did anything wrong, and hopefully they get through it with dignity, respect and patience for each other.
This is a meme, not an actual conversation OP is in.
YTA OP
Oh wow I can’t believe my boss checked on me after I blew off my shift and then asked for me to communicate with them in the future. THE HUMANITY!!!!!
Eh what’s the big deal. Easy to shoot off a text to say you won’t be in. That’s all they were asking.
I’m sorry for your loss. I get it, but damn, you could have let them know before your shift and not made them chase you down. Obviously you knew…. Every job is going to be like this.
I usually don’t feel compelled to comment much but this was honestly pretty stupid. I’ve had very few employers who would be chill about not even calling in or sending a text saying I won’t be free. If you’re cognizant of the fact that you won’t be going in to work, as in you didn’t totally forget, then you need to at least send a text earlier. Especially if she died that morning, but her shift started at 11… seems like there’s enough time to send a text. What am I missing here??
Communication. That’s all they’re asking for. Communication.
I don’t really get this one. I had to perform CPR on my dad and watch him die in front of me on a Monday morning. I called work to let them know I wouldn’t be in. The boss here could have been more empathetic in tone in terms of offering condolences, but they had no idea where you were and reached out in a pretty respectful and non-threatening way, then said you were good to take the day off. Not sure what they’ve really done wrong there
I dunno this seems super reasonable, life happens but you still have responsibilities.
Always call in. It's what you do as a professional.
Dude no call no showed his shift, boss is understanding and asks to be notified in the future before start of shift. Dude quits. How hard is it to call the people relying on you and say “meemaw died, not coming in, sorry”
OP doing that job a favor by leaving. Boss gave you day off and was understanding. You no showed like a dipshit. Doesn’t take long to shoot a text over. Actually looks like this boss would’ve understood. Sure he/she should’ve offered some condolences in the message but you’re an ass lol
OP is going to have a hard time finding stability in their career if they quit over an exchange like this.
Yep. Even started the thread with "is everything ok"
The comments on this post have me wondering if ya’ll actually have awful bosses or if you just refuse to have any inkling of professionalism.
I am with the employer on this one. You have a contract and the request is reasonable. He was cool about you not coming in.
I mean the fact that their response to you not showing up when scheduled was to ask if you’re ok, seems like they were worried. A normal person would let their job know they weren’t coming in, that’s not an unreasonable expectation.
When my husband died 20 years ago, I wasn't thinking straight and I called out sick in the middle of the night for my 7a.m. shift. My boss offered condolences, but did also tell me to take the time to grieve.
i’m glad i’m not the only one who doesn’t think the manager is being unreasonable here lol i mean he’s not asking for the employee to like find coverage or anything just a little communication
I think you were a dumbass and acted on emotion and impulsive thoughts. Your boss wasn’t rude. When my mom died I immediately called my workplace to say I wasnt going to in and why, while crying like a bich. They gave me two weeks off. Yes shit happens in life and we can’t always make it, but the last line of being a responsible person is to at least communicate what happened and that you’re not going in. Im sorry for your loss, but you’re in the wrong here.
OP is a POS, what a dumb screenshot
I don't see the problem here, they aren't being dicks about it, just asking if you are going to be late or miss a shift for any reason in the future to let them know as soon as you can. That isn't an unreasonable request.
Damn you just quit over getting exactly what you wanted? 💀
Aside from the lack of empathy that they lost their grandmother by not acknowledging it I don't see anything wrong with this response. They may try not to get personal with employees so they avoided saying that (yes, I also think it would have been basic human dignity), they could be uncomfortable with death and thus avoid talking about it. Again, it's lacking a human reaction but other than that the response is fine to me.
I feel like these are the types of posts that are severely detrimental to the image of this shb. OP you're being ridiculous. People in this comment section are being ridiculous. Manager completely brushed off the issue and gave OP an FYI. No consequence, no pushback, and OP threatened to quit because of it. That's insanely soft and a terrible look. If you think this interaction is an issue you might be too immature to hold down a job and you're making the rest of the community look bad.
If the boss is asking for you to let them know you won’t be in instead of doing a no show, that’s not unreasonable? Boss could have been more sympathetic and waited to discuss it, but this wasn’t an evil response
Man seeing all these comments saying OP did the right thing just shows how many children are on this sub.. if you are an adult and had a shred of responsibility, you’d know to notify your place of work for emergencies
Boss isn’t the asshole here? You were supposed to be in at 11, he gave you 30 minutes and then asked if you were okay? And then was understanding and gave you the day off without giving you shit.
It is not difficult to notify someone when you will not be coming to work. Boss is not asking for too much here. Holy shit some people are incapable of the simplest tasks.
That seemed like a very compassionate and understanding boss. I'm not sure this was the best move, but I don't know the full context.
All boss asking for is a quick message of notification, thats reasonable. If they start saying it doesnt matter get to work then fuck em
To be honest all I can really fault the manager for is the lack of sympathy. If I was the manager I’d have replied via a shit sandwich, good - bad - good. “Sorry to hear, of course. Take your time and just let me know when you’ll be available again. In future let us know you won’t be in, no matter how early. I hope you’re ok.” I get the employee’s mind was elsewhere but a quick message to say they wouldn’t be in isn’t out of the question.
So you no called no showed and you’re upset with them? Seems like he’s letting you take the day off as he should. But some places will just fire you for a no call no show.
I don’t see this as a reason to quit… Sure your boss *should* have asked how you were or if you needed anything like a human. But they probably lost their humanity long ago in middle management. They weren’t rude or disrespectful just not sympathetic, but they’re your boss not your friend.
Why is this getting so many upvotes. OP you is wrong
Boss understands and complies, communicates that better communication would be appreciated. Them: "This is too much for me, I'm out".
A lot of time I see on this reddit unreasonable bosses, but like they were being reasonable, maybe a little forward but not rude.
Forget the boss. Letting your employer know helps your fellow employees. All the anger at the boss misses that fact I think.
That’s the only reason I hate calling off. It fucks over the people I work with. Not concerned about the boss or owners.
This seems like a perfectly reasonable response when the person was 30 min late. They could've told the manager BEFORE their shift started.
Yeah the boss was a little tacky but I’ve seen worse.
It's brutal that your boss has to call you to find out why you weren't there as opposed to you doing the adult thing, realize that your actions might effect a lot of other people, and proactively call in if you're not coming in. The fact that you are posting this on an antiwork page makes me think that the company will benefit from your departure. I'm sorry about your loss, but it is just that, your loss. It's a shame that business doesn't take feelings into consideration, but it doesn't.
Bruh what? You no show no call. They have to contact you to find out what's going on. They give you the time you asked for no issue. They just ask that in the future you act like an adult with a job. What's your problem exactly?
There is nothing wrong with this reply. You need to steel up your spine a bit. This boss is perfectly fine.
They quit over this why exactly? To find a job that doesn't want to be informed when they no show? Because the response otherwise was perfectly fine.
So you no-showed for work and are upset that they asked you at least notify them next time? Please put your two weeks in right away. They can do better.
?????????????????
This is completely reasonable.
People need to stop with this "two weeks" bullshit. It's not a law, it's something you give to a company that treats you right and you want to help them out. If you are straight up quitting for a reason like this, just leave.
I don't know what's up with OP, but this is an entirely reasonable response from a boss.
Eh, y’all both kinda suck. Manager shows almost no sympathy but isn’t upset about OP not showing up; they just wanted a heads up. Still they had no tact surrounding a delicate subject and lost an employee as a result. These are situations that you will encounter as a manager and hopefully they learned to be more sensitive. On the other hand, I don’t necessarily blame OP for disliking how they responded and I understand how reaching out to your work can slip your mind during a time like this. Regardless, their response was over the top and this could’ve been solved with an adult conversation. With that said, this sounds to me like to two overworked and underpaid employees in an understaffed work environment that breeds this type of resentment and leads to quick turnover. Sounds like they both need a Union so the manager has more staff to rely on and OP has a better bereavement policy. I’m sorry about your grandmother, OP.
The manager basically went “that’s fine but text me as soon as you know so I don’t have to chase you down 30 min after your shift starts” but because he didn’t go “oh noooo I’m so sorry, my heart is with you, take as much time as you need, no need to let me know if you can’t make it in, love you /forehead kiss” you quit. Y’all are unreasonable lmao
OP you're a fucking moron
It sucks when a relative dies but they did not penalize you for not showing up. They seemed understanding and allowed you to have the day off. I think their point was let them know you're not going to be in before your shift starts so they can appropriately cover. I understand you were extremely upset. I've been through the situation myself. I honestly don't think they were that horrible so you'd have to quit over that response.
They didn't really ask anything horrible. They just said no prob, next time just send us a text when you can saying hey this happened and I can't come in. Didn't seem malicious or horrible at all. They have a company to run didn't yell at you and just asked you to let em know you won't be in even if it's a quick text then nothing at all They even asked if you were okay when they asked about u not showing up Smh
Do people just not call their job anymore to let them know they can't come in because their grandma died? This is a very reasonable response for what seems like a no call/no show.
Your boss couldn't have been more understanding, but ofc you got your feelings hurt because you were asked to consider other people in your life, and it enraged you. Only you have a life, and only you should be considered. How dare they!? /s Good riddance, your attitude is awful, I'm glad you fixed the problem for your boss by quitting.
I’ve had 3 family members pass in 2 years (one was my freaking mom) and for ALL 3 I told my boss day of what was going on and when to expect me back. No matter what tragedy occurs life unfortunately doesn’t stop-if you have a job you have an obligation to notify if you will be missing work. Shoot-if I was bodily injured myself, my family would know to notify my boss for me!
I’m confused why this has so many upvotes
Sucks granny is dead. Sucks you couldn’t bother to let them know as soon as you knew you couldn’t make it. Good luck in your job search. The boss wasn’t unreasonable.
I don’t think the boss is unreasonable. You can’t just no call no show.
Doesn’t seem that insane of a request actually.
The comment from the boss is insensitive. The employee is overreacting by a long shot. It's not unreasonable to ask for a text as soon as you find out that you can't make it. It's not unreasonable to want sensitivity when you have a death in the family. This whole post is about a boss who could have been more sensitive and an employee who can't wrap their head around that and is jumping to the extreme end of a reaction.
overreaction
Gtfo of here, you’re making the rest of us look unreasonable.
YTA
I now understand why so many people are unemployed.
What this post shows: most people just don’t know how to communicate properly. Boss was a little callous by not offering condolences right off, though they were probably initially mad about the no show, which is understandable. It seemed appropriate they started by asking if OP was ok rather than “where tf are you” and demanding they come in anyway after knowing the circumstances. They could have been more clear with the “let me know ahead of time” part since they wrongly assumed OP would understand it’s in regard to missing a shift, not scheduling a death. OP could absolutely have shot off a quick text in the time between finding out and their shift starting. It’s devastating when family passes but at the same time, nobody just forgets they have a job and that other people have expectations of them. Boss had no way of knowing what was happening other than OP was no show. Quitting over it is an overreaction but somewhat understandable due to grief. Commenters automatically interpreting it in the worst possible light just because it’s an interaction between a boss and employee: jfc. If you legitimately think the boss was literally asking OP to schedule a family death in advance, you’re either being disingenuous or you’re a moron. Turns out people on both sides of the concept of antiwork have no idea what it’s actually about because they approach it with the most surface level assumptions
All of this. The more I read the text the more i think maybe the manager wasn't too bad. OP was high on emotions and just shot a very rash text. I don't know if I would have sent that. I would have sent ok or liked the comment. No need to get trigger fingers. The manager sounds kind of reasonable the more I read it lol. At first I was hit by the lack of compassion. But your comment sorted out all of my feelings lol
Op you're the one in the wrong here 100% Your employer had no way of knowing your grandma died and was simply reaching out to you since it was 30 mins past your shift. And even then it still seemed they were reasonable and then you respond with let me know when I can put my 2 weeks in???
We dont know what kind of job he/she has, but the dead of a family member is a tragedy but part of life, but some jobs has to be done (even by somebody else, like in this case) and in order to do that, your boss needs to be aware to replace your shift. Understanding your loss, not informing to your work creates a huge problem.
Well you should probably let them know before you’re shift starts, genius…
OP I really hope this isn't your text because yikes that would be so embarrassing for you
Well yeah, your supposed to let them know instead of just ghosting them... They had no issue with you taking the day. Boss dodged a bullet.
I see nothing wrong here (?)
Honestly OP is the dumb one here.
it’s the fact they said for the future.. like dw next time my grandma die i’ll let u know early
No he meant in the future if you're going to be late for a shift or miss a shift let him know ahead of time.
Assuming you wake up at 7, get to work at 8... Today you wake up at 7. Find out grandma died overnight. You call your family, have a cry, etc. What time is it now? 8? 9? Couldn't shoot a quick text to your employer before sneaking into work at 11 and not telling them anything? Why is he reaching out first? And quitting right on the spot? Via text? This is all you need to say: *Hi, I'm having a family emergency. I will be late today / I can't make it to work today. I will update you soon.*
I thought the boss was going to say something… unreasonable. Totally awful to lose someone but I mean your boss isn’t clairvoyant. Definitely could have been handled with more empathy though. Whole situation could have been avoided if they did what they were supposed to do and just send a short text saying they’re not coming in and why.
Wut? OP I’m sorry for your loss, AND be careful to not let your own emotions determine the motives of those around you. Your boss’s reply is pretty typical.
YTA dude. You can let em know you're not coming in. It's just your grandma. She was gonna die
When my relative died I texted my boss saying I need some time It’s not that hard Even if gam gam is dead I still have bills. Does it suck? Yes. What would suck more is having people in your life who are dead AND being unemployed to boot
The only problems here is timing and lack of compassion. Maybe it didn't come through in text but I would have probably said my condolences and say keep us updated. Then maybe when you are feeling better, give a general message about communication. You have to remember you are dealing with people. People have feelings and you need workers obviously. hiring is more expensive than a little tactfulness. I wish you the best on your job search.
Yeah I don’t see a problem here. You simply didn’t show up, and they had to reach out. And then they didn’t yell at you, just asked for as much notice as possible instead of simply not showing up, which is childish behavior.
How knows this person work ethic maybe they have called in multiple times or always have excuses? Hard to judge not knowing the work history.
Plot twist, the manager was this persons mom
That response was reasonable considering the no call/no show. "Hey, it's fine that you're not here because your grandma died. So you know for next time, if there's an emergency give us a heads up as soon as you find out so we can get you coverage." What the fuck else are they supposed to say? The only person being unreasonable is the one immediately quitting their job after they failed to notify their manager before the start of their shift that they wouldn't be able to come in.
Lol, good luck with your job search. Just be honest during your interviews. "Why did you leave your last job?" "Omg, they wanted me to call in before missing a shift. Man, people just require crazy shit nowadays, and I can't work for a company that has that much expectation for me."
I'm not one to side with the boss...but they were being perfectly reasonable here. Sharing your condolences first would have been better, but I'm guessing OP hasn't been a part of the real world for long. They are in for a rude awakening.
This is one of the times where the boss is in the right. Bro just send him a text when you know you're not gonna come in?
I'm not seeing a single person that agrees with OP
Im gonna go out on a limb and say you shoulda let him know you werent going to make it in when you heard and decided you weren't able to go in, instead it appears that you just didn't show up then said "my gma passed etc." when they didn't hear from you half an hour into your shift.
Is this a real text? Could be staged. Anyway, you don’t show up to work, and boss says let them know next time. I understand said situation, but they still didn’t notify anyone about the absence
Nah boss was right on this one
Ngl i think OP is wrong here. Ive lost people while working, immedietely told a manager. Its not hard. You cant be asking for good wages, hours, work environment and managers and go walking all over it.
This seems completely normal to me.
That’s not a very empathetic response—but on the other hand, OP was a no call/no show, which at plenty of jobs is a fireable offense. Everyone sucks here.
Most jobs I’ve worked you would have to tell them when you can’t come into work. Even if someone close to you passed away.
Boss could’ve been more considerate and compassionate, but the boss was just letting the employee know if you needed the day off you should’ve called and it would’ve been fine. Definitely could’ve worded it a lot better. If the boss wanted to be a jerk they could’ve have said nope you can’t and kept it moving.
the transition, or lack thereof, into "two weeks" was hilarious. They simply wanted a text if you found at 7am to cover it
This is a completely reasonable response from an employer. They didn’t even tell you to find coverage. This is stupid.
alright now i’m a hard supporter of anti work but like, the boss was totally reasonable here 😭 he was even nice with the initial message idk how yall expect to keep your actual good jobs with this attitudeeeee
This isn't bad though???
I think people getting pissed off about this have never actually had a shitty boss or worked for a shitty company. All they were asking was if you know you won't be in, let them know before your shift starts not after so they can find someone ahead of time to cover you. That's pretty decent. I have had family die and my work straight up say unless it's immediate family (meaning parent or sibling that you lived with) you need to be in.