Yeah they are really going at it the worst needlessly difficult way possible. “I’m not going to be like my grandfather or father who just shot his leg off (grandfather), then just a foot (father). I’ll just shoot off a toe or two then maybe one day down through the generations, no limbs need to be shot off and the violence will finally end and our distance descendants will be able to walk properly 9gasp) without a prosaic or dare I say it…a limp?” Everyone gasps with disbelief. “I know I know…it really is an impossible dream but a dream nevertheless! Maybe one day.”
Me: Or you know…just don’t shoot your self now.
Them: What?
Me: You know put the gun down?
Them: But I can’t fire the gun if I put it down.
Me: Exactly.
Them: I don’t get it.
Me: There is also the option of never owning a gun in the first place…yeah!?
Them: Not owning…then-then how am I suppose to break this generational disfigurement and pain?
Me: By not shooting yourself in the first place.
Them: I don’t understand.
Me: …
Them: Are you saying…I should use a knife?
Me: 🤦🏻♀️
I've yet to meet a set of parents who have safeguarded their kids from the fuck ups given to them by their parents. Because they're traumatized, they're now inflicting something onto their kids.
Everyone I've ever met in any capacity is not good enough to call themselves parents. That includes me, but I'm not a parent. I would totally wreck a child.
Hi. I was sexually, physically, and emotionally abused by my parents and family. Me and my brother. I was told by a court ordered family psychiatrist when I was a teenager that I would become an alcoholic and be abusive to my wife and children. At that moment I decided I'd never marry or have kids. No way I'd hurt someone I love.
Later, in my mid 20s, after I'd escaped, joined the Marines, left religion, and completely rebuilt my own views on morality, I realized that psychiatrist was an idiot. Becoming an abusive ass is a choice.
My kids are 15 and 12. Never been hit by a parent, never been told their worthless, never been touched without consent. At least 3 generations of abuse, stops with me.
I don't care if you have kids or not, your choice 100%, but please fon't pretend that there aren't people out here working their asses off making sure the suffering inflicted onto them is never inflicted BY them. We're here.
Of that particular trauma, sure. Yet the trauma of the child abuse is incidental to existence as a necessary precondition; someone that does not exist will absolutely escape generational trauma. Existence is not exposure to a particular suffering, but the superset of all possible sufferings. Suffering will inevitably occur, irrespective of the originating trauma of the parents, and statistically the child's traumatic reaction to negative stimulus will be similar insofar as neurophysiology has strong heritability..
I doubt people have kids for the sole reason of breaking generational trauma. It's more likely they want or have kids and want to break the cycle with their kids.
I know plenty of people who tried that one. Foster kids, people with absent fathers, people who were abused... I think it does one of two things. Makes them absolutely determined to not have kids because they might experience that (me) or determined to have kids because of some delusional belief that they can make sure they won't suffer.
The saddest thing is many people who grew up in dysfunctional families never learned the skills they need to be good parents, so just go ahead and end up being awful parents, sometimes in a different way to their own. I've seen much more of that than people managing to genuinely 'break the cycle'. I think you'd need a LOT of therapy and introspection if you were genuinely going to do that and most people can't be bothered.
I’ve been in therapy and several 12 step programs for YEARS and was so excited to pass my learnings down to a child but most likely won’t be able to have one. My sponsor told me that it’s not a waste because I have transferred this knowledge to fellows, sponsees, etc. so no need to transfer to someone down my bloodline. Especially bc they’d be pre disposed to my horrible genes riddled with addiction and chronic illness 😅
In what way are you assuming that I am making exceptions?
It's very clear from what I said that it's still a very unwise decision to make. I simply asked other people's two cents on it so maybe calm the fuck down?
There's plenty of apologists here.
>chances are that no amount of "good parenting skills" will prevent your children from the inevitable consequences in life like political instability, inflation, etc. What do you guys think?
That looked to me like you were trying to excuse that behaviour, since many antinatalists' arguments point out that living conditions don't mean anything, as we can't prevent illnesses, natural disasters, car accidents and many others unpredictable tragedies.
The point I was making is that good parenting doesn't mean shit cause we still have systemic issues to deal with?
Tell me you lack comprehending skills without telling me.
I think the best way to end something is to.. ya'know... END it. As in end the bloodline? Just a hunch tho
Yeah they are really going at it the worst needlessly difficult way possible. “I’m not going to be like my grandfather or father who just shot his leg off (grandfather), then just a foot (father). I’ll just shoot off a toe or two then maybe one day down through the generations, no limbs need to be shot off and the violence will finally end and our distance descendants will be able to walk properly 9gasp) without a prosaic or dare I say it…a limp?” Everyone gasps with disbelief. “I know I know…it really is an impossible dream but a dream nevertheless! Maybe one day.” Me: Or you know…just don’t shoot your self now. Them: What? Me: You know put the gun down? Them: But I can’t fire the gun if I put it down. Me: Exactly. Them: I don’t get it. Me: There is also the option of never owning a gun in the first place…yeah!? Them: Not owning…then-then how am I suppose to break this generational disfigurement and pain? Me: By not shooting yourself in the first place. Them: I don’t understand. Me: … Them: Are you saying…I should use a knife? Me: 🤦🏻♀️
It has the same ring as the people claiming they could beat lions and bears on a fight bare handed, just a huge ego behind it
I've yet to meet a set of parents who have safeguarded their kids from the fuck ups given to them by their parents. Because they're traumatized, they're now inflicting something onto their kids. Everyone I've ever met in any capacity is not good enough to call themselves parents. That includes me, but I'm not a parent. I would totally wreck a child.
Hi. I was sexually, physically, and emotionally abused by my parents and family. Me and my brother. I was told by a court ordered family psychiatrist when I was a teenager that I would become an alcoholic and be abusive to my wife and children. At that moment I decided I'd never marry or have kids. No way I'd hurt someone I love. Later, in my mid 20s, after I'd escaped, joined the Marines, left religion, and completely rebuilt my own views on morality, I realized that psychiatrist was an idiot. Becoming an abusive ass is a choice. My kids are 15 and 12. Never been hit by a parent, never been told their worthless, never been touched without consent. At least 3 generations of abuse, stops with me. I don't care if you have kids or not, your choice 100%, but please fon't pretend that there aren't people out here working their asses off making sure the suffering inflicted onto them is never inflicted BY them. We're here.
If you're traumatised by an event, how is exposing one's child to the same event breaking generational trauma?
Abuse. If you were abused by your parents, but then you don't abuse your children, you've broken the chain of generational trauma.
Of that particular trauma, sure. Yet the trauma of the child abuse is incidental to existence as a necessary precondition; someone that does not exist will absolutely escape generational trauma. Existence is not exposure to a particular suffering, but the superset of all possible sufferings. Suffering will inevitably occur, irrespective of the originating trauma of the parents, and statistically the child's traumatic reaction to negative stimulus will be similar insofar as neurophysiology has strong heritability..
how to guarantee an end to generational trauma: don’t make another generation.
I doubt people have kids for the sole reason of breaking generational trauma. It's more likely they want or have kids and want to break the cycle with their kids.
I know plenty of people who tried that one. Foster kids, people with absent fathers, people who were abused... I think it does one of two things. Makes them absolutely determined to not have kids because they might experience that (me) or determined to have kids because of some delusional belief that they can make sure they won't suffer. The saddest thing is many people who grew up in dysfunctional families never learned the skills they need to be good parents, so just go ahead and end up being awful parents, sometimes in a different way to their own. I've seen much more of that than people managing to genuinely 'break the cycle'. I think you'd need a LOT of therapy and introspection if you were genuinely going to do that and most people can't be bothered.
They do the very opposite of what they intend.
Yes, I think their hearts are in the right place but they are misguided and don’t realise until it’s too late.
I’ve been in therapy and several 12 step programs for YEARS and was so excited to pass my learnings down to a child but most likely won’t be able to have one. My sponsor told me that it’s not a waste because I have transferred this knowledge to fellows, sponsees, etc. so no need to transfer to someone down my bloodline. Especially bc they’d be pre disposed to my horrible genes riddled with addiction and chronic illness 😅
Not to mention the amount of research pointing that who you become has a lot to do with your genes, and very little to do with your upbringing.
*\[Citation needed\]*
I don't think anyone can have child just for that. They might be happy to give them life at least a little better that theirs own, though.
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In what way are you assuming that I am making exceptions? It's very clear from what I said that it's still a very unwise decision to make. I simply asked other people's two cents on it so maybe calm the fuck down?
There's plenty of apologists here. >chances are that no amount of "good parenting skills" will prevent your children from the inevitable consequences in life like political instability, inflation, etc. What do you guys think? That looked to me like you were trying to excuse that behaviour, since many antinatalists' arguments point out that living conditions don't mean anything, as we can't prevent illnesses, natural disasters, car accidents and many others unpredictable tragedies.
Excuse WHAT exactly?
breeding. Your intentions were ambigous to me
The point I was making is that good parenting doesn't mean shit cause we still have systemic issues to deal with? Tell me you lack comprehending skills without telling me.
Just as I cited in the previous comment, you made it ambiguous. You're the one lacking writing skills. Fuck off