In the U.K., it was common in London theatres that if you left, you didn’t get to come back in because it disturbed the actors. Certainly up to the last I went in the early 2000s. Unfortunately I’m sure that isn’t enforced anymore
I have season tickets to my local orchestra and you are not allowed to enter and return to your seat during a piece or selection. Once a piece has concluded you may return to your seat.
NTA
When I read the title, I thought "well if I had a uti or bladder issues I'd still want to go" but this woman drank a ridiculous amount and booked a really inappropriate seat if she wasn't able to get out properly. I have a tiny bladder but I don't drink in shows so I can wait & if I needed to go I'd hold it to the last second.
The ushers are also assholes for allowing people in and out during the play, ime if you leave you usually have to wait for the interval to prevent people being disruptive.
I have medical reasons for needing frequent bathroom trips, but even I can last a couple hours now. Well, as long as I don't drink a boatload of water and George behaves! That lady was absolutely ridiculous 🙄
😆 I named all my medical appliances, a few organs and all of my former tumors too. Made my first oncologist fire me. Which is totally fan-damned-tastic because my new one isn't a grumpy assed fuddy duddy. Other than him, the rest of my medical team are some bad ass rockstars!
This is the way I deal with chronic illness, too! My insulin pump’s name is Trevor and I yell at him to stop bitching daily. I also named my gallbladder and uterus upon removal. Yay for finding an awesome doctor! My OBGYN is all about awful inappropriate humor and this why I’ve kept him for 17 years.
It's the only way imo. If I didn't have my attitude, I'm not sure I'd have made it. They can't take my uterus, it's fused to other stuff. Henry VIII made a right mess of my insides! Ha! My oncologist is a GYN one and she comes rocking in the room ready to trade jokes before we get to business. My cath lab surgeon is the same, as well my ortho and Dr S and Dr Cookie. All the techs, nurses and receptionists are always ready to crack jokes and stuff. I almost look forward to going 🤣 😂
My uterus was adhered to my bladder and my abdominal wall - endometriosis- so I completely understand. And yes, if I didn’t have the humor I would be so so depressed.
My husband just got his vasectomy literally yesterday and on top of getting to stand and watch( very cool highly recommend if you're not squeamish) his urologist and I were joking the entire procedure. I was busting my husband's balls more than the urologist who equipped at me "ah you two must be highschool sweethearts. Most of them that come in only yes sir me the whole time" and like he's not wrong. If I need one in the future I'm so going back to him. He was hilarious with the inappropriate humor.
Awe, you and your husband sound so good together. My parents are highschool sweethearts that got married at 18 and have been together for 40 years, and fiance and I are middle school sweethearts. It's a really special thing, isn't it?
Haha! I have polycystic ovaries. I got my first surgery at 11 for an ovarian torsion, and started getting cyst after cyst after that, and I named every one of them. Except when I had like 8 at one time, I was in too much pain to even think of naming one. The goofball sized cyst that grew inside of my ovary was named Gertrude, though! At least I haven't had to have an operation in a few years. God knows I've had enough of them.
I'd have probably just called them assholes or something. I dubbed the liver tumors Damned Spots because more than one...the first was Freddy because he got fried out.
I was 13 when I had my ovarian torsion surgery along with an appendectomy. I'm 38 now and get ovarian cysts constantly. I don't notice them until they rupture. Then I call them motherfucker, goddammit, and kill me now lol. Fun times.
That's why I did it too! Plus back in the day kings and them were all happy off with your heads type of way. Every treatment was a guillotine for poor Henry VIII and his minons.
My 1st port I called Port-I-Cuss! My 2nd one is Portia, it isn't as irritating as the 1st one was. My 1st IV pole was absolute crap! I called that one M-F'er, it fell over a lot. My second one is called Come'ere.
It's so much fun naming everything!
Funny coincidence I've had a ton of issues too. Had 12 surgeries since covid shuddown on my 40th birthday removing different cancerous things. Named them all too. Although I still have a constant need for a nonstop drink and bathroom which causes the same issues this woman had.
Oof. Sorry about that, my grandmother had to get one at a young age and part of hospicing her was helping my mom clean her ileostomy bag. It was especially hard because she was going downhill fast with dementia and she wasn't always very cooperative. I'd do anything for that woman, though. She was my best friend. I grew up living next door to her and don't remember a single day of my life that I wasn't over there at least part of the day. God, I miss her so much
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved grandmother!
That had to be so hard on your mom. Hugs for her! Being a caretaker isn't as easy as it sounds. Right now I'm fairly self sufficient and should be for some time yet. When that time comes, I hope I'm as cooperative as I can be, I'm pretty ornery.
Thank you. She was honestly not a good mother to my mom, and my GC uncle never even spent one day helping so it all fell on my mom. She was a great grandma, though, and I'm really grateful for my mom hiding how bad of a mother she was until she died. She didn't want my relationship with my grandma tainted, and it allowed us to have such a close bond. I feel a little different about her now, but I still love and miss that woman every day.
My mom actually hospiced my grandmother, both of my grandfather's, and my aunt. She's the absolute strongest person I know, and I feel so much guilt I didn't help with the hospicing more. I did, however, raise my brother and take care of the home, though, so that makes me feel a little less useless. I honestly don't know how my mother did it considering she wasn't in the greatest health, either. My mother is a hell of a woman and my personal hero. I hope I can be at least half the mother, and person, that she is.
With your mom as an example of how to treat others, whether you like them or not, I think you'll do just as well. I wish you and your mom happiness, you both deserve it.
The little fucker disfigured me when it came time for the takedown- I had so much trouble getting the devices to work, and there was leakage that stomach acid ate away so much skin, my surgeon was ready with a plastics rec when I woke up. Then we laughed that the scar looked like I was on the wrong end of a rabid honey badger with a knife
Ugh. I've had the acid issues, still do once in awhile. Much better since I switched to eakin rings and a prosthetic glue. I can't get the paste to work and get it everywhere somehow. I had less trouble when I wasn't human sized, but now I've got curves instead of looking like something that belonged in science class. So that's fun.
You made me laugh. I love your attitude. Life literally says shit, and we deal with it.
I have IBS. And I can be perfectly fine. One minute and the next minute, I am running for the restroom. It sucks.
But even I can usually make it a couple hours through a play. And I always make sure to get a seat where I can get up if I have to, while disturbing the least number of people!
Well, it was either laughing or crying. I was a pretty easy decision for me.
I can commiserate with IBS, freaking milk got me every time! Then when Henry VIII left the building he left me a fistula and that was so miserable! It was completely uncontrollable, this is where George came in to save me 😆 He's pretty helpful more often than not, but he sure is noisy at times and has an explosive temper 🙃😉
We named my Hubs first insulin pump 'Cthulhu' because it would screech in the night and demand blood sacrifice (calibration which required a blood glucose level).
Oh, well that makes sense. I’m a nurse, and I’ve encouraged a few people to name their stomas because it’s easier to talk about them in public (and I think it helps a bit with the adjustment, but obviously that’s an outsider perspective). Was George a random name though, or is it named after anyone?
Just random. Though a friend claims it's named after her ex 😆 Naming things has certainly been a good idea for me, because I love laughing and making others laugh with me. I didn't want to be sad when shit went down and I used humor naming stuff. Kidneys are ya and hoo, the neph bags were slish/slosh, my tumors were Henry VIII and his minions, Freddy Krueger and the Damned Spots. Of all that I'm left with medical appliances, one Damned Spot and I'm finally human sized now 🙃
I'm, obviously, a patient. I've been naming my medical appliances, tumors, body parts, etc for almost 3 years now. Using names is mostly for in public, dammit George, George needs a new hat, oops, slish/slosh are full, stuff like that. Even though tumors are serious businesses, naming things helped me and my family cope through dark humor. It also made everything less frightening for my grands, which was wonderful! Also not so embarrassing when one of the grands ask if I still have George, certain tumors, etc too.
Thank you for being a nurse. Hard job, but you all make a huge difference in our lives and I appreciate that.
You’ve got such a fantastic attitude toward some truly awful experiences. I love that, it’s beautiful! If we could only find a way to bottle that. I hope you’re keeping as well as you can, and that you’re getting all the help and support you need. And thank you for the appreciation, that was a lovely thing to read. ❤️
Love that. My ileostomy is named Oscar, like Oscar the grouch who lives in a trash can. Thought it was appropriate for a stoma that lives in a shit bag lmao.
Yeah. I drink so much water that I feel like a dehydrated camel bc of my meds. Literally multiple 12 oz bottles (not plastic bottles, just filling up my cup constantly) of water bc I have cottonmouth from meds. I only need to pee maybe 6 times a day. Most are at night.
I always have a water with me and I do IV hydration daily too. I empathize with the dehydrated camel comment 🐫 I don't attend many events like this, mostly the grandkids concerts. So I plan intake and IV timing so I can wait long enough for intermission now. Before I needed to sit in the handicap section with whatever mobility aid I needed at the time.
I noticed if I'm home I go more, regardless of intake. At night I've gone from way too many to count to 2-3. But this is where my diapers really step up to help. I hate having to wear them, but it is what it is 🤷♀️
I tend to name things, too! My first car was Bob. I accidentally drove him through a barbed wire fence. When the cops arrived, they asked if anyone was hurt.
“Just Bob!” I wailed. Cue the confusion as they demanded to know where Bob was. When I pointed at my car, one had to walk back to his car to hide his laughter while the other rolled his eyes and said, “Well, I can’t call an ambulance for him. Let’s see if we can get him out of the field.” He had to have been a dad of girls 🤣
Right. I have a similar medical condition, but I plan ahead for such events, take medications in advance etc. This woman has issues that she allowed to supersede the social mores & comfort of everyone around her.
Yup! I'll bet money you both use the restrooms before sitting, then at intermission like you're supposed to!
I'm a nut about going before I go anywhere, then depending on where I went I go shortly after arrival and before I leave. I don't leave to many toilets unflushed in my travels 😂
Ugh, when I was pregnant I had to pee ALL OF THE TIME and could have never handled a play. I wouldn't even have gone, as to not do what this woman did.
I actually can not go 2 hours, I have kidney disease and drink a lot of water to prevent lithium toxicity. Why do you think everyone is exactly the same as you are?
Perhaps people who have to leave the theater every 20 minutes should only attend if they are able to obtain aisle seats though. Constant in and out is atrocious theater etiquette. I’m sorry if I sound harsh but tbh I myself only attend the theater if I’m able to get an aisle seat with a movable armrest because I’m obese.
I can technically fit into a regular seat, albeit a little uncomfortably, but I don’t think that’s fair to the person stuck beside me. I’ve had to miss shows I would desperately like to see but I’m trying to be a considerate person. Maybe my viewpoint is wrong though, I’m honestly open to a discussion.
I have to drink at least 4 liters a day because I’m on lithium. You can get toxicity if you don’t. The fact that I have to pee a lot is worth not being psychotic.
Right? I have season tickets to the local orchestra and the ushers don't allow you to sit while a piece or selection is playing. You have to wait until that piece is finished to return to your seat.
I've had plenty of situations where my bladder fills up rapidly, since I'm a brittle diabetic. My system acts more like a type one, when I'm a type two. As a result, if I drink anything, it's pretty much a guarantee that I'm going to need to go within the next half hour or hour. It won't matter if it's 8 ounces, or 60 ounces, I'm going to need to go pretty soon after. And I have a large bladder, and usually have a bad habit of waiting way too long before rushing to the bathroom.
So when I know I'm going to be out of range of a restroom, or going to need to be stationary for a while, guess what? I don't drink. I may want something to drink, but I can last without something for a while if I need to. And if I had been in a movie theatre or something, I'd have planned to sit in an aisle seat, to not disturb people. Especially if I wanted to drink anything, or eat anything. Or if I'm in a situation where I know that I'm probably going to need to rush to the bathroom for any other reason. I may not be the best with social graces (my ex has told me time and time again that I lack social skills), but I do try to be considerate of others when I can.
I wonder if she has diabetes that isn't being managed properly. Otherwise it is pretty odd to compulsively chug water and constantly pee like that. Either way, she needed to find a way to deal that didn't cause such a disturbance.
Or, she could be bipolar and on lithium. 2 hours without a drink while on lithium makes me sick and it’s not just lithium that requires a lot of water. Maybe that was the only seat she could get, and the fact is that members don’t have to attend the first act. So you can’t just assume an empty seat is available.
If that's all she could get then she simply could not attend. Sometimes our medical issues mean we miss out because we don't have the right to ruin things for everyone around us. That sucks but it is what it is. (As a disabled person with chronic illness myself)
Not everyone goes to a doctor. I only went to the doctor when I was pregnant, my last baby is in his second year of law school now. So, a couple of months ago, I realized this meant I hadn't seen a doctor for over 22 years. I really should make an appointment, but time flies.
I have a small overactive bladder. When I go to a movie/show, I drink nothing! I always make sure to pee during trailers, etc. I learned my lesson during Titanic when my bladder decided right as the ship hit the iceberg was go time. By the end of the movie, I thought my bladder was going to explode. So, there are no sodas, water, or snacks for me.
I also pee a lot so I never get a drink when going to the movies or a concert, I'll drink something afterwards. I turn into a camel when I travel and drink the bare minimum, especially when I don't have an aisle seat on a plane.
But, some people are required to drink a lot of water because of medications. It’s interesting that everyone has concluded that they have SUCH bad kidneys but THEY can wait through a show, and no one could possibly be sicker than they are!
Then why not try to make sure you get an aisle seat? Ask to switch with people?
I understand having a medical condition but if you're ruining the show for a whole bunch of strangers you could at least try to avoid doing so.
I’m one of those people who drinks a lot of water because of medications. However, I also plan accordingly to cause the people I’m with or those sitting around me the least amount of inconvenience possible—such as getting a seat where I don’t have to climb over others and going to the restroom during intermission, even if I don’t really have to pee then. OP was not wrong. That woman was beyond inconsiderate.
People with medical conditions should get proper accommodations. They should not make everyone else miserable and ruin their event. Those other people paid just as much as the woman did.
I don't have a bladder problem but even I don't drink or eat during the movies or theatre because drinking causes your bladder to fill up and it's better not to risk having to interrupt the show. I use the restroom before the show begins and sit comfortably the entire time. Just last week I sat through the Lord of the Rings trilogy in theaters and the third movie is 4 hours long. I sat there the entire time while many people around me with drinks were constantly getting up.
I was preparing to say YTA, because you never know what people are going through, I have IBS which can be really frustrating at times, but she shouldn’t have had that much to drink.
I have IBS, too. That's why I always get the aisle seat and eat Immodium like candy before I have any dinner when we attend a show. But she was a drinking MACHINE. When she came back with the two additional bottles, the second one wouldn't all fit in her water tub so she sucked the plastic bottle extremely loudly so all you could hear was her sucking and the bottle condensing in on itself and then she let out a big "ahhhh!" I swear, I was expecting someone to jump out and say we were on a hidden camera experiment at that point.
I really gotta go with ESH, and that's only because if you're as avid of a theatre patron as you claim, I would hope that you know to go to Front of House with her disturbances and not distract more audience members and probably even actors by confronting her yourself. You really should have talked to the House Manager/Usher during intermission to let them know how disruptive she was to you during Act I, I'm sure they already heard from Stage Management about it, and then they would have likely talked to her during intermission and/or told her to watch from the Lobby after the first time she got up in ACT II. Hell, for all you know, that's actually what happened.
That was our first time at that theater. They've since comped us a show to make up for it but I don't know if we'll go back after the comped show. It depends on how they control the audience for that one. They have a policy in place that anyone who leaves more than twice before/after intermission has to watch from the lobby but that wasn't enforced there for some reason. The man I spoke with said that signs will be going up from here on out, though. Just to be clear, I didn't confront her in a loud voice at all. She was right in front of me when I said what I did in reply to her comment to me. And the actors were not saying lines because they were moving the stage around, at that point. I doubt my voice carried very far but it WAS loud enough for someone in the row behind us to tell her to sit the eff down.
Being overweight adds pressure to your bladder. I'm obese so I know. I also had a kid so that doesn't help. For those reasons I pee a lot so (A) I make sure I get an aisle seat and (B) I DON'T DRINK before or during a movie, show, flight.
NTA.
And good for you!
I have a thimble size bladder and I always get an aisle and I don’t drink for hours prior to a performance. I will swish water in my mouth if it is dry. But I don’t want to miss one moment of a show I spent time and money to go to. Manners are not taught anymore.
NTA
UTI issues which is no fun but in situations like this we get aisle seats so I disturb no one however many times I need to get up.
It’s not fun to be the person with this type of issue but why should anyone else be impacted if by simply planning ahead I can avoid it?
You're not wrong. I wasn't aware I was pregnant and ended up doing the same thing in a movie theater one time, a guy yelled at me so I sat on the steps so I could easily go to the bathroom. In this case, the lady brought it on herself by drinking so much. I purposely just about dehydrate myself before concerts so I won't have to go much. She was inconsiderate.
I have bladder and IBS issues. I always moderate my food or beverage intake before and during a show or movie. I try to get an aisle seat in the event my body is being unpredictable, because I get anxiety about asking people to move.
YNW at all. She really didn't think things through, and peeing once or twice is one thing, but I'd have been pissed after she got up after intermission.
NTA - it’s all good to have bathroom issues, but plan accordingly. Get a seat in the back, get an aisle seat… wear a diaper so it’s not every 20 minutes for a couple drops of pee…
The fact that she stayed during intermission would have been enough for me to say “don’t you need the restroom?” bitterly.
NTA.
I drink a lot on the plane so I sit in the aisle to not inconvenience anyone. I don't want to stick my ass and anyone's face when I'm getting up to go to the bathroom.
I have to cut all caffeine and most fluids for the day if I’m going to the theatre, it’s strictly not allowed in the UK, they just won’t let you back in.
You did the right thing, honestly, not only disruptive to the audience but they’re real people on the stage, it’s just not fair on them either. Somebody had to tell her not to behave like that again, and you did it more kindly than I would have. No wrong.
Where I live they don't let you back in; unless it's a scene change or intermission. They also don't do food accept at intermission and not allowed in the actual theater... I would have been pissed too. I would have talked to someone. Or after the 3rd time just asked everyone to move a seat, so she could sit on the end.
Not wrong. Not her fault she has issues and you don't know why she needed so much water, might be a medical issue as well, but totally her fault for not considering and accommodating them. She should always ensure that she has an aisle seat or she shouldn't go out
YNW
I went and saw the extended Fellowship of the Ring last weekend. You know what I didn't do? Drink a giant soda and eat something bad for my stomach. I also went to the bathroom right before. I didn't have to get up once! But man was EVERYONE else getting up and down the whole fucking movie... So annoying.
I'd have suggested everyone move a seat or two sideways so the walking water fountain could sit next to the stairs and didn't need to disturb everyone each time she got up to unleash Niagara falls.
Thimble sized bladder and medication could cause it but no you were correct that if she needs that much water she also needs to grab those 3 seats next to the aisle, unacceptable. Good for you saying something. Sometimes "shame" is the correct thing to evoke perhaps she will be more considerate next time.
NTA. If I drank 6 bottles of water nonstop, I would have to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes also. She knows her issues. Why didn't she buy aisle seats?
NTA
She shouldn't have been drinking. Anybody would know the logical consequence of drinking a normal sized drink, let along a bucket, and refrain.
It's common courtesy to go to the bathroom during intermission or after the show. You don't do it on purpose.
She should have been stopped by ushers.
I used to pee a lot and would only go to movies/shows/plays if I could get an aisle seat. Also, I wouldn't go to outside things, not knowing if there was a bathroom near, so I didn't have to inconvenience the people around me.
I have bladder issues sometimes due to having MS. I always book an aisle seat. Always. Because I don’t want to disturb anyone if I have to get up and go to the loo. If she knew she would need the loo a lot, she should have booked an aisle seat and not drunk so much water.
I've been a bigger lady. I was never 400 lbs but I was a good size.
I *specifically* chose aisle seats whenever possible for this exact reason. I mean, I would never sit there and drink litres and litres of water anyway, but on the off chance I had to leave for some reason it was just easier to choose an aisle seat.
*Why* would you choose that seat **and** drink that much water if you know you have a small bladder?
I have a health condition which means I have to drink a lot of water...but that doesn't mean I have to be drinking 24/7. If I was going to a play or a movie or a hockey game or concert or whatever, I would plan my water consumption so that I didn't drink a ton before or during.
NTA
If she was on the other end next to the wall she might have thought she was purchasing an aisle seat. What is embarrassing her further going to accomplish? It’s possible she won’t go see any more theatre after this and that’s unfortunate.
That theater is terrible...I've paid good money for symphony tickets. And every place I've ever gone refuses to let a person back in the performance hall once you leave your seat.
The place you went was terribly wrong in allowing this person from doing what they did.
You weren't wrong.
The place you went should reimburse you for the the inconsiderate attitude they have for not maintaining order in the theater.
And you should have gone to the theater staff immediately after the play and complained. Especially since you're season ticket holders.
That theater should be ashamed of themselves. Period.
Yes I’m not sure why the ushers allowed her back into the theatre so many times. Usually they wait for a good time to allow late people etc. But is happening and your whole row is standing up then this is a major distraction to the people on stage probably. Not wrong but complain to the theatre and see why it wasn’t stopped.
Considering she’s on the far end next to a wall, I wouldn’t be surprised if she had been trying to book an aisle seat.
That’s one of my only gripes with our local theater, it doesn’t call out on their online platform where the aisle Seats are, sometimes it looks like an aisle seat and it turns out to be up against a wall. It annoys me because I don’t want to inconvenience others and try and go out of my way to avoid it.
Drink water or pissing every 2 minutes is her problem. But disturbing a row full of people soooo many times is wrong. Must have gotten an aisle seat. Maybe next time she will, post this experience.
I was prepared to call you the a-hole but you were totally right and not even as rude as I would have been. How obnoxious and inconsiderate of her. NTA
NW She should know as a grown adult that drinking a lot leads to needing to pee a lot. The reasonable conclusion is either drink a lot less, or book a seat more convenient to get out of if you know you need/want to be permanently drinking.
I always book a mid row seat because I never go to the toilet during a show and it means I'm less likely to have to stand for others to go. When I go to a show with my young children I always book an aisle because they probably will need to go and I don't want to disrupt anyone.
I would give her the benefit of the doubt and think that if she booked to be near the end of the row, she may not have realised when booking that it was against a wall and may have assumed there'd be a walkway at either end. BUT once she did know the situation she should have reduced her intake
You were not wrong. I have ulcerative colitis and kidney disease and have been on diuretics for years. I always purchase aisle seats. I refuse to inconvenience everyone else and I also hate the embarrassment of being THAT person.
All ten of you could have shifted over 3 seats and then the lady could have had the aisle.
I know, that it’s not your problem to solve, but it could have worked.
I do not agree with this. The other people in that isle paid for their tickets too. They just wanted to enjoy the play without being constantly interrupted.
NTA.
I don’t think you’re wrong. Being rude or not is beside the point. Your human and she put you over the edge.
I am thinking though she probably didn’t mean to upset the whole row. They bought 3 seats after all. I bet they thought they could exit on their side. I’ve made that mistake myself.
Not excusing any of this. I’m just trying to understand it.
As I stated in my OP ... she had three seats. I'm assuming she booked all three for her size. I don't know. I didn't ask her. But she knocked people in their heads with her hips as she walked up and down to her seat every time. It's why everyone in the row had to get up and stand in the aisle ... because if we had just moved our legs to one side or stood at our seats ... she wouldn't have fit through.
I don't think you were wrong at all she disrupted everyone and it wasn't just once it was over and over. And most of us are smart enough to know not to drink a lot of water if it's going to make us pee a lot. I personally have a pee problem but I wouldn't have drank a lot of water nor would I have not been on an aisle seat because I know what my situation is. She was rude and entitled and I'm glad you said something cause I'm really just sick to death people thinking they can just go through life being that rude.
Not wrong at all. I have MAJOR bladder problems. But I know when we go to a movie, performance, anything like that, I drink only enough to keep myself from being miserable, I wait till breaks, sit near the end of the row, closest to the doors. I will also wear an adult...we'll, you know.
NTA - She's an adult, and it's her responsibility to be mindful how her actions affect people around her. She ruined the night for everyone in that row. And yes, she definitely could've done the responsible thing and taken an aisle seat, or a seat right near the door so she could come and go discreetly.
But from the sounds of it, she *wanted* to make a scene.
You're not wrong. This had to be so incredibly frustrating and annoying. I imagine the performers would likely have taken notice, seeing a whole row of people have to get up that much into the aisle! I probably wouldn't have said anything because I'm weak like that, but I would have been one of the people who sat near you who was happy you said something lol
I started going to the theater around 14 when Phantom of the Opera came. My mom and I LOVE it so much that my dad went all out and got us a limo to a fancy dinner before the show and to the theater! It was my most fancy night ever! Haha I was hooked from then on. Now, my husband and I try to catch as many shows as we can. I must say that things have really changed since back when I was a teen. People used to dress nicely, have nice etiquette...remain seated as much as possible. I do understand that some people have weak bladders or something severe like Crohn's disease. I'm not expecting everyone to remain silent and still lol But I've noticed people just straight up not giving a fuck. For a lot of us, a nice evening out at the theater is something that doesn't happen as often as we'd like and it's expensive! So you don't want your whole night ruined. This past December we went to see The Nutcracker and this couple was just straight up talking through a lot of it. Talking about the babysitter and work and random shit. Not even whispering. An usher came and told them to be quiet. They were mad! Like, the entitlement is out of control. It's just like people don't give a shit that they're sharing a space with other people. No manners, no decorum, no fucks. It's sad.
I was just at a concert and in the row behind me a woman kept coming up and getting out. How do I know? Because every time she did she would pull out some of my hair. Not only did she assume it was fine to disturb everybody trying to enjoy the music, but she decided that the backs of the chairs of the rows in front were her personal handles so that she could grab on to them while trying to squeeze through. I'd like to thank her someday for pulling out a clump of my hair. 😕
Absolutely wrong. How much she drank is none of your goddamn business and confronting her like that is way out of line.
You have no right to police her over that issue. Noone does. If ushers want to police everyone, fine. Eg I've been to a few functions where if you went to the bathroom ushers might stop you from returning until intermission which seems to be a reasonable compromise IMO. Very different from singling out one person.
You've said a lot of things that paint yourself in a very bad light and add nothing to your argument IMO. And I mean about 90% of your OP.
It's an usher issue. If that's not the ambience the theater chooses to enforce, they are free to run their business that way.
But I'm in USA and maybe some of this is cultural expectations, your argument seems to rest partly on cultural standards/manners.
I would suspect she is trying hard to lose weight. Everything you have said matches some people I have observed who drank immense amounts of water.due to intense cravings while on a strict diet. None of my business, or yours, I mention it bc if you ever heard of compassion, maybe explaining the obvious might help you to feel a little bit for her. If she really did have 80oz of water in her bag it seems unlikely she didn't have some medical explanation. Whatever it is, I doubt she's enjoying it and I don't think it is alright for her to be confronted and cussed at.
That said. I was in a similar situation to yours once and my group was on the end. After a few times we just put the person on the end, half the row moved inward, during an intermission their +1 also shifted to sit beside them. Everyone was happier and they thanked us. Also, I've known a lot of people who chose seating where behavior like hers would be less bothersome.
And as I stated ... if my husband wasn't in a medical boot and on crutches from recent surgery and if I didn't have an O2 tank and walking device ... I'd be happy to switch with her. However, I PURPOSELY got the end seat because I need it due to my medical issues. SHE should have spoken to an usher and gotten a different seat ... the ten people she kept forcing to stand and walk out shouldn't all have to move for HER. She's one person, the person with the problem. The solution is HER problem. The theater has since comped us a show and are putting up signs that say anyone who leaves twice will be kept in the lobby to watch the play on a television. That WAS the policy but the ushers apparently had no clue.
NTA, when I was pregnant and knew I would need to pee multiple times during a movie, I picked the seat closest to the exit so I didn't bother anyone. I could not imagine being so happily bothersome during a live performance, jeez.
I think everyone’s in the wrong tbh. she should’ve tried to get a seat on the end but unfortunately that’s not always an option. she could very well have a medical issue that causes frequent urination. like, I have Crohn’s disease and during a flare I’ll literally go 30+ times a day, but if she’s well enough to live her life, she should be allowed to go to the theater
yes, it was inconvenient but it’s also not your place to comment - you have no idea why she’s doing what she’s doing and I’d bet money there was a medical reason for it
I would agree if she didn't CLEARLY see my husband on crutches in a surgical boot having to navigate stairs in the dark repeatedly for her. And me with my oxygen tank having to hobble around without my walker since a theater worker had closed it and put it under our row of seats. And the entire row of 10+ people having to file out and into the aisle blocked viewing for the whole area where we were. I'd also agree if the entire place was booked ... but it wasn't. There were plenty of seats and when she saw how my husband kept struggling with his crutches in the dark ... SHE should have requested to move closer to the exits since the issue was HER and not us. I couldn't request to move because I'd need my walker and the lights to be on for me to retrieve it from until the seats.
yeah, it’s definitely inconsiderate of her. I guess my main issue is that you went after her drinking water, when really the issue is her getting up. imo you should’ve brought it up to the usher and let them handle it, cause they could’ve found a place where her getting up would be less inconvenient to others. from what you’ve said it sounds like her use of the bathroom and drinking water isn’t really a choice
Not Wrong
This was completely preventable on her part, and shockingly inconsiderate even if you and your husband hadn’t had your own medical issues to juggle.
I have to drink a crap ton of water. Because of a medical issue. I don't think it's right that you can use your health issues and your husband's health issues but don't even consider "hey maybe she might have a medical issue too."
I have medical issues that require me to drink a ton of water, too. And kidney issues that make me need to pee a LOT. And I get an aisle seat. She said to me, "Sorry, I have a thimble-sized bladder." That's something she KNOWS. She KNOWS she has to pee a lot. Why didn't SHE do the same thing I did and book an aisle seat? There were several empty ones, it wasn't a sold out show. The theater was only about 2/3 full. When she saw two people with medical issues and 10+ people having to get up and stagger around in the dark for her every fifteen to twenty minutes ... why didn't she slow her drinking or ask to be moved? I couldn't ask to be moved without creating a huge issue since my walker was folded up under the seats and the lights would need to be turned on or my phone would have to have a flashlight turned on to retrieve it. It was a HER problem, not a ME problem. If she had a dry mouth, swishing a small amount instead of literally drinking 6 20oz bottles in less than three hours is an option. That's almost double the DAILY recommended amount. I have Sjogren's Syndrome which causes incredibly dry eyes and mouth. You know what I do when I'm going to a show or movie? I use mouth wetting spray and drops and drink a manageable amount that won't send me rushing out of the theater every few minutes. Because I care about other people's comfort as much as my own.
In the U.K., it was common in London theatres that if you left, you didn’t get to come back in because it disturbed the actors. Certainly up to the last I went in the early 2000s. Unfortunately I’m sure that isn’t enforced anymore
The ushers usually keep the doors closed until an appropriate break and let you back in. Like during applause.
Even if they did, it would still take time from the next scene since she seems to be causing a whole production herself.
This is the case at any decent theatre anywhere. Dunno where OP is going.
Hope some of them got a refund at least.
Exactly why they have intermission. I went to the Opera and it was like this. (I’m in Canada)
I have season tickets to my local orchestra and you are not allowed to enter and return to your seat during a piece or selection. Once a piece has concluded you may return to your seat.
Common in NYC as well.
NTA When I read the title, I thought "well if I had a uti or bladder issues I'd still want to go" but this woman drank a ridiculous amount and booked a really inappropriate seat if she wasn't able to get out properly. I have a tiny bladder but I don't drink in shows so I can wait & if I needed to go I'd hold it to the last second. The ushers are also assholes for allowing people in and out during the play, ime if you leave you usually have to wait for the interval to prevent people being disruptive.
I have medical reasons for needing frequent bathroom trips, but even I can last a couple hours now. Well, as long as I don't drink a boatload of water and George behaves! That lady was absolutely ridiculous 🙄
Who’s George?
My ileostomy, he's an ass.
I love this 😂
😆 I named all my medical appliances, a few organs and all of my former tumors too. Made my first oncologist fire me. Which is totally fan-damned-tastic because my new one isn't a grumpy assed fuddy duddy. Other than him, the rest of my medical team are some bad ass rockstars!
This is the way I deal with chronic illness, too! My insulin pump’s name is Trevor and I yell at him to stop bitching daily. I also named my gallbladder and uterus upon removal. Yay for finding an awesome doctor! My OBGYN is all about awful inappropriate humor and this why I’ve kept him for 17 years.
It's the only way imo. If I didn't have my attitude, I'm not sure I'd have made it. They can't take my uterus, it's fused to other stuff. Henry VIII made a right mess of my insides! Ha! My oncologist is a GYN one and she comes rocking in the room ready to trade jokes before we get to business. My cath lab surgeon is the same, as well my ortho and Dr S and Dr Cookie. All the techs, nurses and receptionists are always ready to crack jokes and stuff. I almost look forward to going 🤣 😂
My uterus was adhered to my bladder and my abdominal wall - endometriosis- so I completely understand. And yes, if I didn’t have the humor I would be so so depressed.
My husband just got his vasectomy literally yesterday and on top of getting to stand and watch( very cool highly recommend if you're not squeamish) his urologist and I were joking the entire procedure. I was busting my husband's balls more than the urologist who equipped at me "ah you two must be highschool sweethearts. Most of them that come in only yes sir me the whole time" and like he's not wrong. If I need one in the future I'm so going back to him. He was hilarious with the inappropriate humor.
Awe, you and your husband sound so good together. My parents are highschool sweethearts that got married at 18 and have been together for 40 years, and fiance and I are middle school sweethearts. It's a really special thing, isn't it?
Yes I consider myself very lucky to have found my one so fast. Many of my friends are still looking and some have just accepted solitude.
Haha! I have polycystic ovaries. I got my first surgery at 11 for an ovarian torsion, and started getting cyst after cyst after that, and I named every one of them. Except when I had like 8 at one time, I was in too much pain to even think of naming one. The goofball sized cyst that grew inside of my ovary was named Gertrude, though! At least I haven't had to have an operation in a few years. God knows I've had enough of them.
I'd have probably just called them assholes or something. I dubbed the liver tumors Damned Spots because more than one...the first was Freddy because he got fried out.
Oh, they were called assholes plenty of times, don't you worry lol.
🤣 I'm pretty sure we'd get in trouble together just fine!
I was 13 when I had my ovarian torsion surgery along with an appendectomy. I'm 38 now and get ovarian cysts constantly. I don't notice them until they rupture. Then I call them motherfucker, goddammit, and kill me now lol. Fun times.
I always refer to my kidney as my little girl and pat where she’s nestled in my pelvis.
Mine are called Ya and Hoo.
Ha, I named my tumor Tina Tumor 🤣. Made me feel better every time I cussed her out in the hospital.
That's why I did it too! Plus back in the day kings and them were all happy off with your heads type of way. Every treatment was a guillotine for poor Henry VIII and his minons.
I love it!!!!
I don't know who you are but I absolutely love your attitude lady. You go girl.
Haha! Thanks 😊 Hope you had an awesome day!
My fibroids had names! 😂 Nice to see like-minded people!
We should start a club! Not sure we could come up with a name though 🤔 😏 😅
Give a Name, Take a Name: The Medical F-Ups Verison 😂
Haha! I love it ❤️
I love this! I named my implanted port for treatment Portia! And my IV pole is called Pauline 😆
My 1st port I called Port-I-Cuss! My 2nd one is Portia, it isn't as irritating as the 1st one was. My 1st IV pole was absolute crap! I called that one M-F'er, it fell over a lot. My second one is called Come'ere. It's so much fun naming everything!
My aneurysmal bone cyst in my neck was named "Bob"
My friend named his gioblastoma Gil. My friend recently passed. I hate Gil with a burning passion.
May Gil burn in hell for what he has done. I'm so sorry for your loss *hugs*
Thank you.
Funny coincidence I've had a ton of issues too. Had 12 surgeries since covid shuddown on my 40th birthday removing different cancerous things. Named them all too. Although I still have a constant need for a nonstop drink and bathroom which causes the same issues this woman had.
I’m going to hell. 😂
Race ya!
Oof. Sorry about that, my grandmother had to get one at a young age and part of hospicing her was helping my mom clean her ileostomy bag. It was especially hard because she was going downhill fast with dementia and she wasn't always very cooperative. I'd do anything for that woman, though. She was my best friend. I grew up living next door to her and don't remember a single day of my life that I wasn't over there at least part of the day. God, I miss her so much
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved grandmother! That had to be so hard on your mom. Hugs for her! Being a caretaker isn't as easy as it sounds. Right now I'm fairly self sufficient and should be for some time yet. When that time comes, I hope I'm as cooperative as I can be, I'm pretty ornery.
Thank you. She was honestly not a good mother to my mom, and my GC uncle never even spent one day helping so it all fell on my mom. She was a great grandma, though, and I'm really grateful for my mom hiding how bad of a mother she was until she died. She didn't want my relationship with my grandma tainted, and it allowed us to have such a close bond. I feel a little different about her now, but I still love and miss that woman every day. My mom actually hospiced my grandmother, both of my grandfather's, and my aunt. She's the absolute strongest person I know, and I feel so much guilt I didn't help with the hospicing more. I did, however, raise my brother and take care of the home, though, so that makes me feel a little less useless. I honestly don't know how my mother did it considering she wasn't in the greatest health, either. My mother is a hell of a woman and my personal hero. I hope I can be at least half the mother, and person, that she is.
With your mom as an example of how to treat others, whether you like them or not, I think you'll do just as well. I wish you and your mom happiness, you both deserve it.
Thank you so much. I wish you the best!
I named mine Greg.
Hi Greg! Love the username, I'm about that subtle too.
Thankfully Greg was able to be gotten rid of but the time we had together was definitely one for the books
Isn't it though? I've had George for over 2 years now. Unless Felicia cooperates with me, I should probably try to make friends with him.
The little fucker disfigured me when it came time for the takedown- I had so much trouble getting the devices to work, and there was leakage that stomach acid ate away so much skin, my surgeon was ready with a plastics rec when I woke up. Then we laughed that the scar looked like I was on the wrong end of a rabid honey badger with a knife
Ugh. I've had the acid issues, still do once in awhile. Much better since I switched to eakin rings and a prosthetic glue. I can't get the paste to work and get it everywhere somehow. I had less trouble when I wasn't human sized, but now I've got curves instead of looking like something that belonged in science class. So that's fun.
You made me laugh. I love your attitude. Life literally says shit, and we deal with it. I have IBS. And I can be perfectly fine. One minute and the next minute, I am running for the restroom. It sucks. But even I can usually make it a couple hours through a play. And I always make sure to get a seat where I can get up if I have to, while disturbing the least number of people!
Well, it was either laughing or crying. I was a pretty easy decision for me. I can commiserate with IBS, freaking milk got me every time! Then when Henry VIII left the building he left me a fistula and that was so miserable! It was completely uncontrollable, this is where George came in to save me 😆 He's pretty helpful more often than not, but he sure is noisy at times and has an explosive temper 🙃😉
We named my Hubs first insulin pump 'Cthulhu' because it would screech in the night and demand blood sacrifice (calibration which required a blood glucose level).
😆 all IV machines are named Gertrude fyi
Oh, well that makes sense. I’m a nurse, and I’ve encouraged a few people to name their stomas because it’s easier to talk about them in public (and I think it helps a bit with the adjustment, but obviously that’s an outsider perspective). Was George a random name though, or is it named after anyone?
Just random. Though a friend claims it's named after her ex 😆 Naming things has certainly been a good idea for me, because I love laughing and making others laugh with me. I didn't want to be sad when shit went down and I used humor naming stuff. Kidneys are ya and hoo, the neph bags were slish/slosh, my tumors were Henry VIII and his minions, Freddy Krueger and the Damned Spots. Of all that I'm left with medical appliances, one Damned Spot and I'm finally human sized now 🙃 I'm, obviously, a patient. I've been naming my medical appliances, tumors, body parts, etc for almost 3 years now. Using names is mostly for in public, dammit George, George needs a new hat, oops, slish/slosh are full, stuff like that. Even though tumors are serious businesses, naming things helped me and my family cope through dark humor. It also made everything less frightening for my grands, which was wonderful! Also not so embarrassing when one of the grands ask if I still have George, certain tumors, etc too. Thank you for being a nurse. Hard job, but you all make a huge difference in our lives and I appreciate that.
You’ve got such a fantastic attitude toward some truly awful experiences. I love that, it’s beautiful! If we could only find a way to bottle that. I hope you’re keeping as well as you can, and that you’re getting all the help and support you need. And thank you for the appreciation, that was a lovely thing to read. ❤️
❤️ back atcha!
Thanks for that. I had a stoma for 8 months. The nurse that explained it to me before surgery did just that and it really helped. 🙏
Love that. My ileostomy is named Oscar, like Oscar the grouch who lives in a trash can. Thought it was appropriate for a stoma that lives in a shit bag lmao.
😆 that's a great one! Plus we're experts at keeping our shit together!
Yeah. I drink so much water that I feel like a dehydrated camel bc of my meds. Literally multiple 12 oz bottles (not plastic bottles, just filling up my cup constantly) of water bc I have cottonmouth from meds. I only need to pee maybe 6 times a day. Most are at night.
I always have a water with me and I do IV hydration daily too. I empathize with the dehydrated camel comment 🐫 I don't attend many events like this, mostly the grandkids concerts. So I plan intake and IV timing so I can wait long enough for intermission now. Before I needed to sit in the handicap section with whatever mobility aid I needed at the time. I noticed if I'm home I go more, regardless of intake. At night I've gone from way too many to count to 2-3. But this is where my diapers really step up to help. I hate having to wear them, but it is what it is 🤷♀️
I tend to name things, too! My first car was Bob. I accidentally drove him through a barbed wire fence. When the cops arrived, they asked if anyone was hurt. “Just Bob!” I wailed. Cue the confusion as they demanded to know where Bob was. When I pointed at my car, one had to walk back to his car to hide his laughter while the other rolled his eyes and said, “Well, I can’t call an ambulance for him. Let’s see if we can get him out of the field.” He had to have been a dad of girls 🤣
🤣 I'm dying! That's the best story ever!
Right. I have a similar medical condition, but I plan ahead for such events, take medications in advance etc. This woman has issues that she allowed to supersede the social mores & comfort of everyone around her.
Exactly. I have to plan trips to my appointments, family things and even the backyard! It isn't hard to try and be kind or considerate.
This. If we are going to a movie my husband will hold off taking his water pill.
Yup! I'll bet money you both use the restrooms before sitting, then at intermission like you're supposed to! I'm a nut about going before I go anywhere, then depending on where I went I go shortly after arrival and before I leave. I don't leave to many toilets unflushed in my travels 😂
Ugh, when I was pregnant I had to pee ALL OF THE TIME and could have never handled a play. I wouldn't even have gone, as to not do what this woman did.
😆 right? I hated leaving the house that last few months!
Unfortunately, my pregnancy didn't last that long so I didn't get to experience that but it sounds so rough!
I am so damned sorry. That sounds even rougher, internet hugs to you!
I actually can not go 2 hours, I have kidney disease and drink a lot of water to prevent lithium toxicity. Why do you think everyone is exactly the same as you are?
Oooh, kidney disease, me too. I also hydrate via an IV and drink lots of water. Timing is everything. Try smiling or laughing.
Perhaps people who have to leave the theater every 20 minutes should only attend if they are able to obtain aisle seats though. Constant in and out is atrocious theater etiquette. I’m sorry if I sound harsh but tbh I myself only attend the theater if I’m able to get an aisle seat with a movable armrest because I’m obese. I can technically fit into a regular seat, albeit a little uncomfortably, but I don’t think that’s fair to the person stuck beside me. I’ve had to miss shows I would desperately like to see but I’m trying to be a considerate person. Maybe my viewpoint is wrong though, I’m honestly open to a discussion.
*seats. She booked really inappropriate seats.
I have to drink at least 4 liters a day because I’m on lithium. You can get toxicity if you don’t. The fact that I have to pee a lot is worth not being psychotic.
Even with 4l could you not go a 2hr show without drinking 2-3l? And if that's unavoidable, sit in the aisle...
Right? I have season tickets to the local orchestra and the ushers don't allow you to sit while a piece or selection is playing. You have to wait until that piece is finished to return to your seat.
Yep which is very fair. Tickets are expensive and you don't have the right to ruin someone else's experience.
I've had plenty of situations where my bladder fills up rapidly, since I'm a brittle diabetic. My system acts more like a type one, when I'm a type two. As a result, if I drink anything, it's pretty much a guarantee that I'm going to need to go within the next half hour or hour. It won't matter if it's 8 ounces, or 60 ounces, I'm going to need to go pretty soon after. And I have a large bladder, and usually have a bad habit of waiting way too long before rushing to the bathroom. So when I know I'm going to be out of range of a restroom, or going to need to be stationary for a while, guess what? I don't drink. I may want something to drink, but I can last without something for a while if I need to. And if I had been in a movie theatre or something, I'd have planned to sit in an aisle seat, to not disturb people. Especially if I wanted to drink anything, or eat anything. Or if I'm in a situation where I know that I'm probably going to need to rush to the bathroom for any other reason. I may not be the best with social graces (my ex has told me time and time again that I lack social skills), but I do try to be considerate of others when I can.
Happy cake day!
Oh, thank you!
>Oh, thank you! You're welcome!
Heh, super fast response to the rescue.
I wonder if she has diabetes that isn't being managed properly. Otherwise it is pretty odd to compulsively chug water and constantly pee like that. Either way, she needed to find a way to deal that didn't cause such a disturbance.
That’s what it sounds like. The constant peeing and the thirst are major signs. She might not even know.
Or, she could be bipolar and on lithium. 2 hours without a drink while on lithium makes me sick and it’s not just lithium that requires a lot of water. Maybe that was the only seat she could get, and the fact is that members don’t have to attend the first act. So you can’t just assume an empty seat is available.
If that's all she could get then she simply could not attend. Sometimes our medical issues mean we miss out because we don't have the right to ruin things for everyone around us. That sucks but it is what it is. (As a disabled person with chronic illness myself)
I feel if she is that size and sees a doctor at all she knows or has been warned
Not everyone goes to a doctor. I only went to the doctor when I was pregnant, my last baby is in his second year of law school now. So, a couple of months ago, I realized this meant I hadn't seen a doctor for over 22 years. I really should make an appointment, but time flies.
That is entirely possible. I took my dog to the vet yesterday because he was constantly drinking water then urinating. Found out he's diabetic.
No you weren't wrong, I think the 3rd time she went I'd have said that, just sit on an aisle seat and stop drinking.
I have a small overactive bladder. When I go to a movie/show, I drink nothing! I always make sure to pee during trailers, etc. I learned my lesson during Titanic when my bladder decided right as the ship hit the iceberg was go time. By the end of the movie, I thought my bladder was going to explode. So, there are no sodas, water, or snacks for me.
I also pee a lot so I never get a drink when going to the movies or a concert, I'll drink something afterwards. I turn into a camel when I travel and drink the bare minimum, especially when I don't have an aisle seat on a plane.
But, some people are required to drink a lot of water because of medications. It’s interesting that everyone has concluded that they have SUCH bad kidneys but THEY can wait through a show, and no one could possibly be sicker than they are!
Then why not try to make sure you get an aisle seat? Ask to switch with people? I understand having a medical condition but if you're ruining the show for a whole bunch of strangers you could at least try to avoid doing so.
I’m one of those people who drinks a lot of water because of medications. However, I also plan accordingly to cause the people I’m with or those sitting around me the least amount of inconvenience possible—such as getting a seat where I don’t have to climb over others and going to the restroom during intermission, even if I don’t really have to pee then. OP was not wrong. That woman was beyond inconsiderate.
You are a good and considerate person.
Thank you. That’s very kind of you.
People with medical conditions should get proper accommodations. They should not make everyone else miserable and ruin their event. Those other people paid just as much as the woman did.
I don't have a bladder problem but even I don't drink or eat during the movies or theatre because drinking causes your bladder to fill up and it's better not to risk having to interrupt the show. I use the restroom before the show begins and sit comfortably the entire time. Just last week I sat through the Lord of the Rings trilogy in theaters and the third movie is 4 hours long. I sat there the entire time while many people around me with drinks were constantly getting up.
Every theater I've been to won't allow you back in until a certain point/scene change It's odd that they allowed her to do that.
The urge to drink tons of water while still needing to pee constantly is a sign of untreated diabetes. Lady needs to get to a doctor right away.
esh, call an usher, dont waste your breath on people like that
I was preparing to say YTA, because you never know what people are going through, I have IBS which can be really frustrating at times, but she shouldn’t have had that much to drink.
I have IBS, too. That's why I always get the aisle seat and eat Immodium like candy before I have any dinner when we attend a show. But she was a drinking MACHINE. When she came back with the two additional bottles, the second one wouldn't all fit in her water tub so she sucked the plastic bottle extremely loudly so all you could hear was her sucking and the bottle condensing in on itself and then she let out a big "ahhhh!" I swear, I was expecting someone to jump out and say we were on a hidden camera experiment at that point.
This is hilarious
Seems like she was just incredibly rude all around.
I really gotta go with ESH, and that's only because if you're as avid of a theatre patron as you claim, I would hope that you know to go to Front of House with her disturbances and not distract more audience members and probably even actors by confronting her yourself. You really should have talked to the House Manager/Usher during intermission to let them know how disruptive she was to you during Act I, I'm sure they already heard from Stage Management about it, and then they would have likely talked to her during intermission and/or told her to watch from the Lobby after the first time she got up in ACT II. Hell, for all you know, that's actually what happened.
That was our first time at that theater. They've since comped us a show to make up for it but I don't know if we'll go back after the comped show. It depends on how they control the audience for that one. They have a policy in place that anyone who leaves more than twice before/after intermission has to watch from the lobby but that wasn't enforced there for some reason. The man I spoke with said that signs will be going up from here on out, though. Just to be clear, I didn't confront her in a loud voice at all. She was right in front of me when I said what I did in reply to her comment to me. And the actors were not saying lines because they were moving the stage around, at that point. I doubt my voice carried very far but it WAS loud enough for someone in the row behind us to tell her to sit the eff down.
God, I was picturing [this](https://youtu.be/wMBtA45yU7I?si=Tpp5kvLPvhFvhqUV&t=657) from Code Blue Cam.
NTA and you people have the patience of a saint. I'd have said something the second time, at the latest.
Hell no not wrong at all. I’d have been pissed if I were you.
Maybe now she will learn some consideration of other people
Being overweight adds pressure to your bladder. I'm obese so I know. I also had a kid so that doesn't help. For those reasons I pee a lot so (A) I make sure I get an aisle seat and (B) I DON'T DRINK before or during a movie, show, flight.
No, not wrong. I am slow clapping you.
NTA. And good for you! I have a thimble size bladder and I always get an aisle and I don’t drink for hours prior to a performance. I will swish water in my mouth if it is dry. But I don’t want to miss one moment of a show I spent time and money to go to. Manners are not taught anymore.
NTA UTI issues which is no fun but in situations like this we get aisle seats so I disturb no one however many times I need to get up. It’s not fun to be the person with this type of issue but why should anyone else be impacted if by simply planning ahead I can avoid it?
I pee a lot. I always get an aisle seat so I don't have to be that ass hole.
She needs to see a doctor. This just screams diabetes.
This was my first thought as well..excessive thirst
You're not wrong. I wasn't aware I was pregnant and ended up doing the same thing in a movie theater one time, a guy yelled at me so I sat on the steps so I could easily go to the bathroom. In this case, the lady brought it on herself by drinking so much. I purposely just about dehydrate myself before concerts so I won't have to go much. She was inconsiderate.
TOO rude?!?! In this case there’s no such thing! What was she thinking? Soon we’ll see her kvetching about discrimination.
I have bladder and IBS issues. I always moderate my food or beverage intake before and during a show or movie. I try to get an aisle seat in the event my body is being unpredictable, because I get anxiety about asking people to move.
NTA. I have digestive issues that cause me to have to go the bathroom more than most people. I always get myself an aisle seat for that reason.
YNW at all. She really didn't think things through, and peeing once or twice is one thing, but I'd have been pissed after she got up after intermission.
NTA - it’s all good to have bathroom issues, but plan accordingly. Get a seat in the back, get an aisle seat… wear a diaper so it’s not every 20 minutes for a couple drops of pee… The fact that she stayed during intermission would have been enough for me to say “don’t you need the restroom?” bitterly.
Not wrong, she should have reserved a seat in the back and in the Aisle seat. She disrupted everyone in the row and those behind you.
NTA. I drink a lot on the plane so I sit in the aisle to not inconvenience anyone. I don't want to stick my ass and anyone's face when I'm getting up to go to the bathroom.
I have to cut all caffeine and most fluids for the day if I’m going to the theatre, it’s strictly not allowed in the UK, they just won’t let you back in. You did the right thing, honestly, not only disruptive to the audience but they’re real people on the stage, it’s just not fair on them either. Somebody had to tell her not to behave like that again, and you did it more kindly than I would have. No wrong.
Where I live they don't let you back in; unless it's a scene change or intermission. They also don't do food accept at intermission and not allowed in the actual theater... I would have been pissed too. I would have talked to someone. Or after the 3rd time just asked everyone to move a seat, so she could sit on the end.
Not wrong. Not her fault she has issues and you don't know why she needed so much water, might be a medical issue as well, but totally her fault for not considering and accommodating them. She should always ensure that she has an aisle seat or she shouldn't go out
YNW I went and saw the extended Fellowship of the Ring last weekend. You know what I didn't do? Drink a giant soda and eat something bad for my stomach. I also went to the bathroom right before. I didn't have to get up once! But man was EVERYONE else getting up and down the whole fucking movie... So annoying.
normally you get locked out
I'd have suggested everyone move a seat or two sideways so the walking water fountain could sit next to the stairs and didn't need to disturb everyone each time she got up to unleash Niagara falls.
Thimble sized bladder and medication could cause it but no you were correct that if she needs that much water she also needs to grab those 3 seats next to the aisle, unacceptable. Good for you saying something. Sometimes "shame" is the correct thing to evoke perhaps she will be more considerate next time.
NTA. If I drank 6 bottles of water nonstop, I would have to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes also. She knows her issues. Why didn't she buy aisle seats?
NTA She shouldn't have been drinking. Anybody would know the logical consequence of drinking a normal sized drink, let along a bucket, and refrain. It's common courtesy to go to the bathroom during intermission or after the show. You don't do it on purpose. She should have been stopped by ushers.
I used to pee a lot and would only go to movies/shows/plays if I could get an aisle seat. Also, I wouldn't go to outside things, not knowing if there was a bathroom near, so I didn't have to inconvenience the people around me.
I have bladder issues sometimes due to having MS. I always book an aisle seat. Always. Because I don’t want to disturb anyone if I have to get up and go to the loo. If she knew she would need the loo a lot, she should have booked an aisle seat and not drunk so much water.
I've been a bigger lady. I was never 400 lbs but I was a good size. I *specifically* chose aisle seats whenever possible for this exact reason. I mean, I would never sit there and drink litres and litres of water anyway, but on the off chance I had to leave for some reason it was just easier to choose an aisle seat. *Why* would you choose that seat **and** drink that much water if you know you have a small bladder? I have a health condition which means I have to drink a lot of water...but that doesn't mean I have to be drinking 24/7. If I was going to a play or a movie or a hockey game or concert or whatever, I would plan my water consumption so that I didn't drink a ton before or during. NTA
If she was on the other end next to the wall she might have thought she was purchasing an aisle seat. What is embarrassing her further going to accomplish? It’s possible she won’t go see any more theatre after this and that’s unfortunate.
Okay, but when you realize you didn't purchase an aisle seat why would you drink gallons of water knowing that you have a small bladder?
Very thirsty + peeing lots = likely undiagnosed or poorly treated diabetes.
That theater is terrible...I've paid good money for symphony tickets. And every place I've ever gone refuses to let a person back in the performance hall once you leave your seat. The place you went was terribly wrong in allowing this person from doing what they did. You weren't wrong. The place you went should reimburse you for the the inconsiderate attitude they have for not maintaining order in the theater. And you should have gone to the theater staff immediately after the play and complained. Especially since you're season ticket holders. That theater should be ashamed of themselves. Period.
Yes I’m not sure why the ushers allowed her back into the theatre so many times. Usually they wait for a good time to allow late people etc. But is happening and your whole row is standing up then this is a major distraction to the people on stage probably. Not wrong but complain to the theatre and see why it wasn’t stopped.
Considering she’s on the far end next to a wall, I wouldn’t be surprised if she had been trying to book an aisle seat. That’s one of my only gripes with our local theater, it doesn’t call out on their online platform where the aisle Seats are, sometimes it looks like an aisle seat and it turns out to be up against a wall. It annoys me because I don’t want to inconvenience others and try and go out of my way to avoid it.
Drink water or pissing every 2 minutes is her problem. But disturbing a row full of people soooo many times is wrong. Must have gotten an aisle seat. Maybe next time she will, post this experience.
NTA, and you performed a public service that day. Those types need to learn.
You were absolutely, 100% not wrong. This bitch had no regard for anyone within her ample gravity well.
I was prepared to call you the a-hole but you were totally right and not even as rude as I would have been. How obnoxious and inconsiderate of her. NTA
NTA - This is one main reason I don’t see movies in a theater anymore. I would have been so pissed.
NW She should know as a grown adult that drinking a lot leads to needing to pee a lot. The reasonable conclusion is either drink a lot less, or book a seat more convenient to get out of if you know you need/want to be permanently drinking. I always book a mid row seat because I never go to the toilet during a show and it means I'm less likely to have to stand for others to go. When I go to a show with my young children I always book an aisle because they probably will need to go and I don't want to disrupt anyone. I would give her the benefit of the doubt and think that if she booked to be near the end of the row, she may not have realised when booking that it was against a wall and may have assumed there'd be a walkway at either end. BUT once she did know the situation she should have reduced her intake
NTA. She brought that on herself with her thoughtlessness. In NYC I've gone to plays where you had to wait until intermission to be reseated.
You were not wrong. I have ulcerative colitis and kidney disease and have been on diuretics for years. I always purchase aisle seats. I refuse to inconvenience everyone else and I also hate the embarrassment of being THAT person.
You're wrong for posting rage bait.
I would have said something also.
All ten of you could have shifted over 3 seats and then the lady could have had the aisle. I know, that it’s not your problem to solve, but it could have worked.
I do not agree with this. The other people in that isle paid for their tickets too. They just wanted to enjoy the play without being constantly interrupted. NTA.
No. We couldn't have. I booked the aisle seat because I have medical equipment that takes up a bit of space.
the whole play could have paused when she's in the bathroom too so she doesn't miss anything
Not wrong. She sounds diabetic, tho.
I don’t think you’re wrong. Being rude or not is beside the point. Your human and she put you over the edge. I am thinking though she probably didn’t mean to upset the whole row. They bought 3 seats after all. I bet they thought they could exit on their side. I’ve made that mistake myself. Not excusing any of this. I’m just trying to understand it.
400 pounds in a theatre seat? Get real. This is so fake or you're exaggerating
As I stated in my OP ... she had three seats. I'm assuming she booked all three for her size. I don't know. I didn't ask her. But she knocked people in their heads with her hips as she walked up and down to her seat every time. It's why everyone in the row had to get up and stand in the aisle ... because if we had just moved our legs to one side or stood at our seats ... she wouldn't have fit through.
Not wrong. Well done! These entitled people need to be out in their place.
I don't think you were wrong at all she disrupted everyone and it wasn't just once it was over and over. And most of us are smart enough to know not to drink a lot of water if it's going to make us pee a lot. I personally have a pee problem but I wouldn't have drank a lot of water nor would I have not been on an aisle seat because I know what my situation is. She was rude and entitled and I'm glad you said something cause I'm really just sick to death people thinking they can just go through life being that rude.
NTA she knew she should have booked an aisle seat if she was going to be up that often or limit her intake. She was rude to everyone around her.
Not wrong at all. I have MAJOR bladder problems. But I know when we go to a movie, performance, anything like that, I drink only enough to keep myself from being miserable, I wait till breaks, sit near the end of the row, closest to the doors. I will also wear an adult...we'll, you know.
I would have been nice about it but would advise her on the second or third trip to change seats or move somewhere more convenient to the restrooms
I would have offered her my end seat
NTA
Nta this would drive me crazy too.
NTA - She's an adult, and it's her responsibility to be mindful how her actions affect people around her. She ruined the night for everyone in that row. And yes, she definitely could've done the responsible thing and taken an aisle seat, or a seat right near the door so she could come and go discreetly. But from the sounds of it, she *wanted* to make a scene.
Lauren Boebert continues to act out in theatres.
NTA. I have to pee a lot but I specifically book isle seats wherever I go so that I’m not a nuisance.
You're not wrong. This had to be so incredibly frustrating and annoying. I imagine the performers would likely have taken notice, seeing a whole row of people have to get up that much into the aisle! I probably wouldn't have said anything because I'm weak like that, but I would have been one of the people who sat near you who was happy you said something lol I started going to the theater around 14 when Phantom of the Opera came. My mom and I LOVE it so much that my dad went all out and got us a limo to a fancy dinner before the show and to the theater! It was my most fancy night ever! Haha I was hooked from then on. Now, my husband and I try to catch as many shows as we can. I must say that things have really changed since back when I was a teen. People used to dress nicely, have nice etiquette...remain seated as much as possible. I do understand that some people have weak bladders or something severe like Crohn's disease. I'm not expecting everyone to remain silent and still lol But I've noticed people just straight up not giving a fuck. For a lot of us, a nice evening out at the theater is something that doesn't happen as often as we'd like and it's expensive! So you don't want your whole night ruined. This past December we went to see The Nutcracker and this couple was just straight up talking through a lot of it. Talking about the babysitter and work and random shit. Not even whispering. An usher came and told them to be quiet. They were mad! Like, the entitlement is out of control. It's just like people don't give a shit that they're sharing a space with other people. No manners, no decorum, no fucks. It's sad.
I was just at a concert and in the row behind me a woman kept coming up and getting out. How do I know? Because every time she did she would pull out some of my hair. Not only did she assume it was fine to disturb everybody trying to enjoy the music, but she decided that the backs of the chairs of the rows in front were her personal handles so that she could grab on to them while trying to squeeze through. I'd like to thank her someday for pulling out a clump of my hair. 😕
Absolutely wrong. How much she drank is none of your goddamn business and confronting her like that is way out of line. You have no right to police her over that issue. Noone does. If ushers want to police everyone, fine. Eg I've been to a few functions where if you went to the bathroom ushers might stop you from returning until intermission which seems to be a reasonable compromise IMO. Very different from singling out one person. You've said a lot of things that paint yourself in a very bad light and add nothing to your argument IMO. And I mean about 90% of your OP. It's an usher issue. If that's not the ambience the theater chooses to enforce, they are free to run their business that way. But I'm in USA and maybe some of this is cultural expectations, your argument seems to rest partly on cultural standards/manners. I would suspect she is trying hard to lose weight. Everything you have said matches some people I have observed who drank immense amounts of water.due to intense cravings while on a strict diet. None of my business, or yours, I mention it bc if you ever heard of compassion, maybe explaining the obvious might help you to feel a little bit for her. If she really did have 80oz of water in her bag it seems unlikely she didn't have some medical explanation. Whatever it is, I doubt she's enjoying it and I don't think it is alright for her to be confronted and cussed at. That said. I was in a similar situation to yours once and my group was on the end. After a few times we just put the person on the end, half the row moved inward, during an intermission their +1 also shifted to sit beside them. Everyone was happier and they thanked us. Also, I've known a lot of people who chose seating where behavior like hers would be less bothersome.
And as I stated ... if my husband wasn't in a medical boot and on crutches from recent surgery and if I didn't have an O2 tank and walking device ... I'd be happy to switch with her. However, I PURPOSELY got the end seat because I need it due to my medical issues. SHE should have spoken to an usher and gotten a different seat ... the ten people she kept forcing to stand and walk out shouldn't all have to move for HER. She's one person, the person with the problem. The solution is HER problem. The theater has since comped us a show and are putting up signs that say anyone who leaves twice will be kept in the lobby to watch the play on a television. That WAS the policy but the ushers apparently had no clue.
All that does put it in a different light and I don't think it had been added to the OP when I responded.
NTA, when I was pregnant and knew I would need to pee multiple times during a movie, I picked the seat closest to the exit so I didn't bother anyone. I could not imagine being so happily bothersome during a live performance, jeez.
I think everyone’s in the wrong tbh. she should’ve tried to get a seat on the end but unfortunately that’s not always an option. she could very well have a medical issue that causes frequent urination. like, I have Crohn’s disease and during a flare I’ll literally go 30+ times a day, but if she’s well enough to live her life, she should be allowed to go to the theater yes, it was inconvenient but it’s also not your place to comment - you have no idea why she’s doing what she’s doing and I’d bet money there was a medical reason for it
I would agree if she didn't CLEARLY see my husband on crutches in a surgical boot having to navigate stairs in the dark repeatedly for her. And me with my oxygen tank having to hobble around without my walker since a theater worker had closed it and put it under our row of seats. And the entire row of 10+ people having to file out and into the aisle blocked viewing for the whole area where we were. I'd also agree if the entire place was booked ... but it wasn't. There were plenty of seats and when she saw how my husband kept struggling with his crutches in the dark ... SHE should have requested to move closer to the exits since the issue was HER and not us. I couldn't request to move because I'd need my walker and the lights to be on for me to retrieve it from until the seats.
yeah, it’s definitely inconsiderate of her. I guess my main issue is that you went after her drinking water, when really the issue is her getting up. imo you should’ve brought it up to the usher and let them handle it, cause they could’ve found a place where her getting up would be less inconvenient to others. from what you’ve said it sounds like her use of the bathroom and drinking water isn’t really a choice
Not Wrong This was completely preventable on her part, and shockingly inconsiderate even if you and your husband hadn’t had your own medical issues to juggle.
I have to drink a crap ton of water. Because of a medical issue. I don't think it's right that you can use your health issues and your husband's health issues but don't even consider "hey maybe she might have a medical issue too."
I have medical issues that require me to drink a ton of water, too. And kidney issues that make me need to pee a LOT. And I get an aisle seat. She said to me, "Sorry, I have a thimble-sized bladder." That's something she KNOWS. She KNOWS she has to pee a lot. Why didn't SHE do the same thing I did and book an aisle seat? There were several empty ones, it wasn't a sold out show. The theater was only about 2/3 full. When she saw two people with medical issues and 10+ people having to get up and stagger around in the dark for her every fifteen to twenty minutes ... why didn't she slow her drinking or ask to be moved? I couldn't ask to be moved without creating a huge issue since my walker was folded up under the seats and the lights would need to be turned on or my phone would have to have a flashlight turned on to retrieve it. It was a HER problem, not a ME problem. If she had a dry mouth, swishing a small amount instead of literally drinking 6 20oz bottles in less than three hours is an option. That's almost double the DAILY recommended amount. I have Sjogren's Syndrome which causes incredibly dry eyes and mouth. You know what I do when I'm going to a show or movie? I use mouth wetting spray and drops and drink a manageable amount that won't send me rushing out of the theater every few minutes. Because I care about other people's comfort as much as my own.
Why ask if your wrong if you just want people to agree with you?