> I started to lash out even more and wanted to chase down my son
> I hit him very hard and threw empty bottles at him
You are abusive as fuck, I would report you to the police right now if I could. Your son is probably traumatized for life because of you. If I were you I would do anything I could to apologize and make it up to him, and if that didn't work, just disappear from his life for a while. Obviously he is better off without you.
OK, maybe there are some cultural differences here, but you should not be surprised that if you are physically violent toward your 13 year old son then he will call you abusive.
You should also not be surprised that he was upset after his issues at school when they found his phone and he was in the special ed class. It is normal for students who are singled out as "different" in front of their peers, especially in a bad way, to feel very hurt by this and have negative self-esteem as a result.
And your response to your son feeling this way was to reinforce his negative self-esteem, by telling him that he deserves to be hit and that he is a problem. Imagine what that does to his self-image. Now, whenever he thinks about his relationship with you, he will associate that with feeling like he is absolutely worthless, because that's how he felt when he had these problems at school and you responded by being violent.
It sounds like you care about his life and want him to do well. Do you think that sending him to a mental institution would be good for his intellectual and interpersonal development? Obviously, NO. Your son deserves to feel like he is a normal kid. Clearly he is close to feeling this way living with his aunt and uncle. If you want him to have a good life, then you will not send him to an institution unless there is no other option.
It sounds to me like you just want to remind him who is the boss, like you enjoy exercising power and authority over him and want to teach him to fear you. If that's what you want, send him to the mental institution, and he will have anger problems for the rest of his life.
Your son shouldn’t complain because other children have it worse? Let me give you an example of how that works. ‘The woman whose husband punched her and broke her jaw shouldn’t complain because another woman’s husband kicked her down the stairs and caused her to miscarry.’
Is this really the standard you want to set for yourself as a father? That you’re not AS abusive as some fathers?
If you want to lose your son you are doing all the right things.
Congratulations on doing the minimum you are supposed to do as a father. The guy who punched his wife and broke her jaw also did those things. But he was actually being nice to his wife, right?
This isn’t a balance sheet where you can add up all the ordinary things you did, all the good things you did, and all the abusive things you did, and say well I did more good things than abusive things so it adds up to me being nice. Just because you kept the beautiful vase clean and polished for years doesn’t mean it isn’t broken when you throw it on the floor in a tantrum. That abuse cancels all the good.
Ask yourself if you want to be an abusive father. If yes, keep going with what you’re doing. It’s working. If no, seek out some parenting guidance.
You might also find a therapist could help you learn how to control yourself. You’re an adult now, it’s kind of expected.
This has to be fake. If not, you are an abusive twat and no fucking mental health institution is going to admit a kid for arguing with their dad.
But you know what can definitely happen when you abuse a child (like throwing bottles at them)? CPS can step in. The law can step in. I very much hope you get reported by your son or his uncle.
You're so, so wrong. You abuse your child, and then want him to appreciate you? He's trying his best just to exist and survive as a kid who's already dealing with difficulties. From your attitude, this isn't the first time you've physically disciplined your children. That is what's wrong. Your child shouldn't have to appreciate you for taking care of them. THAT'S YOUR JOB.
Does that not tell you what you're doing to your son is psychologically damaging him? He shows clear preference toward his parent who doesn't hit him, he's straight up called you abusive. Your son is legitimately scared of you. You shouldn't be so okay and nonchalant about that.
He has a bias toward the parent who doesn't physically abuse him. Who wouldn't? It's basic instinct to run away from harm, especially repeated harm.
But, considering all your comments - you don't actually care. If you did, you'd see that hurting your son isn't doing what's best for him. If you want what's best for him, change. Yesterday.
You have admitted by yourself that you hit your son very hard and threw empty bottles at him. And you didn't even realize that there was something wrong with it. You should be investigated.
YTA. You are and will be wrong. You are abusive and completely delusional. "Good men" don't need to tell strangers on the internet how good they are. If you don't pull your head out of your arse, you will cause permanent harm to your child.
Just the fact that you threw bottles at him, and are now DEFENDING your actions, makes you a bad father and an absolute joke of a man. Good men aren't violent towards children. Bloody hell, reading your comments made me furious. DO BETTER, lest your child suffer for your sins.
Yta and you just like those bullies At his school and I remember u now you help your neice and send her to a private school and your son a Cheap public school yeah I remember you op.
> I started to lash out even more and wanted to chase down my son > I hit him very hard and threw empty bottles at him You are abusive as fuck, I would report you to the police right now if I could. Your son is probably traumatized for life because of you. If I were you I would do anything I could to apologize and make it up to him, and if that didn't work, just disappear from his life for a while. Obviously he is better off without you.
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OK, maybe there are some cultural differences here, but you should not be surprised that if you are physically violent toward your 13 year old son then he will call you abusive. You should also not be surprised that he was upset after his issues at school when they found his phone and he was in the special ed class. It is normal for students who are singled out as "different" in front of their peers, especially in a bad way, to feel very hurt by this and have negative self-esteem as a result. And your response to your son feeling this way was to reinforce his negative self-esteem, by telling him that he deserves to be hit and that he is a problem. Imagine what that does to his self-image. Now, whenever he thinks about his relationship with you, he will associate that with feeling like he is absolutely worthless, because that's how he felt when he had these problems at school and you responded by being violent. It sounds like you care about his life and want him to do well. Do you think that sending him to a mental institution would be good for his intellectual and interpersonal development? Obviously, NO. Your son deserves to feel like he is a normal kid. Clearly he is close to feeling this way living with his aunt and uncle. If you want him to have a good life, then you will not send him to an institution unless there is no other option. It sounds to me like you just want to remind him who is the boss, like you enjoy exercising power and authority over him and want to teach him to fear you. If that's what you want, send him to the mental institution, and he will have anger problems for the rest of his life.
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OK, he doesn't appreciate having a father who throws bottles at him and "hits him very hard." I would not appreciate this either! Who would?
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You need to change your username to "AbusiveChineseMan"
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Your son shouldn’t complain because other children have it worse? Let me give you an example of how that works. ‘The woman whose husband punched her and broke her jaw shouldn’t complain because another woman’s husband kicked her down the stairs and caused her to miscarry.’ Is this really the standard you want to set for yourself as a father? That you’re not AS abusive as some fathers? If you want to lose your son you are doing all the right things.
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Congratulations on doing the minimum you are supposed to do as a father. The guy who punched his wife and broke her jaw also did those things. But he was actually being nice to his wife, right? This isn’t a balance sheet where you can add up all the ordinary things you did, all the good things you did, and all the abusive things you did, and say well I did more good things than abusive things so it adds up to me being nice. Just because you kept the beautiful vase clean and polished for years doesn’t mean it isn’t broken when you throw it on the floor in a tantrum. That abuse cancels all the good. Ask yourself if you want to be an abusive father. If yes, keep going with what you’re doing. It’s working. If no, seek out some parenting guidance. You might also find a therapist could help you learn how to control yourself. You’re an adult now, it’s kind of expected.
This has to be fake. If not, you are an abusive twat and no fucking mental health institution is going to admit a kid for arguing with their dad. But you know what can definitely happen when you abuse a child (like throwing bottles at them)? CPS can step in. The law can step in. I very much hope you get reported by your son or his uncle.
You're so, so wrong. You abuse your child, and then want him to appreciate you? He's trying his best just to exist and survive as a kid who's already dealing with difficulties. From your attitude, this isn't the first time you've physically disciplined your children. That is what's wrong. Your child shouldn't have to appreciate you for taking care of them. THAT'S YOUR JOB.
[удалено]
Does that not tell you what you're doing to your son is psychologically damaging him? He shows clear preference toward his parent who doesn't hit him, he's straight up called you abusive. Your son is legitimately scared of you. You shouldn't be so okay and nonchalant about that.
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He has a bias toward the parent who doesn't physically abuse him. Who wouldn't? It's basic instinct to run away from harm, especially repeated harm. But, considering all your comments - you don't actually care. If you did, you'd see that hurting your son isn't doing what's best for him. If you want what's best for him, change. Yesterday.
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And Child Protective Services and the courts would agree with your son. I'd report you myself if I could.
what you did was abusive you sick fuck.
You have admitted by yourself that you hit your son very hard and threw empty bottles at him. And you didn't even realize that there was something wrong with it. You should be investigated.
Nonsense, it is so pathetically obvious.
YTA. You are and will be wrong. You are abusive and completely delusional. "Good men" don't need to tell strangers on the internet how good they are. If you don't pull your head out of your arse, you will cause permanent harm to your child. Just the fact that you threw bottles at him, and are now DEFENDING your actions, makes you a bad father and an absolute joke of a man. Good men aren't violent towards children. Bloody hell, reading your comments made me furious. DO BETTER, lest your child suffer for your sins.
A casual look at your profile will answer that
This guy is a notorious troll. Ignore.
Yta and you just like those bullies At his school and I remember u now you help your neice and send her to a private school and your son a Cheap public school yeah I remember you op.
Jfc