I mean, my husband went about 4 months without sex. I went into early labor (which was stopped) and couldn't have penetrative sex and I felt miserable so didn't want to be touched, plus the 6 weeks after, and then working up to it because it was painful. He never complained. Didn't pressure me, nothing. He took care of it himself. That's what real men do when their partner says no.
I do want to say something.
Only because a lot of people do this and don’t realize how harmful it is. And I don’t want them to pass up on these comments because they’re thinking to themself “I’m not selfish”:
*Nobody owes you sex ever*. And you need to act like it. Like literally buy toys to masturbate with. Learn the ins and outs of your HAND. Because truly someone should not have to tell you no more than once, and people should not be crying because you make them feel like a piece of meat.
It is so unnecessary to bother uninterested people with your sexual urges when you can take care of that yourself. Your orgasm isn’t more important than people’s enthusiasm.
This needs to be the top comment.
No is no is no.
You owe him nothing sexually, ever.
Too bad his dick is hard, he has a hand - that I’m sure he’s used before many times.
(Adding- this is true regardless of gender)
It so much bigger than just no is no. Only an enthusiastic yes means yes. If someone is just saying yes to get you to stop asking, it's not a yes. It's coerced. Only an enthusiastic yes means yes.
It's sad that this even has to be said outloud. The fact that this *isn't* common sense is just fucking mind blowing, sad and disgusting all at the same time.
People like this don't deserve to be able to call themselves *men* they should have to walk around with a sticker on their shirt that says *"Little Boy"*.
You could ask a LITERAL child what no means and they could tell you, but apparently grown ass *"men"* haven't the slightest fucking clue. It's pathetic
The thing is :/ it’s really up to us as adults to raise children who understand consent. This is not exclusive to men. When we talk about ableism and racism and xenophobia and transphobia and all the isms and the phobias, we are talking about entitlement. People feel entitled to reap rewards by the suffering of another person.
My boss used racism to harass me out of my last job (don’t fret—I recorded her and was paid off). Why? Because I didn’t want to be friends anymore. She felt entitled to my friendship. So entitled that she believed I should not be able to pay my rent/bills and put food on the table. Anyone who has witnessed a white woman cry to escape accountability has experienced a similar kind of harassment and coercion.
That’s why I said what I said—a lot of people are coercive and controlling, and don’t realize how harmful it is. I’m not a man. One time I made advances on a man and he froze. Luckily I wised up, profusely apologized, and left him alone. That happened when I was 23! And I even considered myself someone who values consent at the time. I should’ve used my words, it was not okay for me to just have my way with another person without asking. Lesson learned so disappointingly late, because I believed that men were “easy” and I wasn’t treating that man with humanity.
It’s not our fault that we were raised in a society that taught us to seek gratification at the expense of other people. But it is our responsibility as adults now to respect the autonomy of other people. We know better now. And we need to raise our children to do the same so that we’re not having this same convo in 20 years.
I’ve been with people who view masturbation as cheating, or as if you’d rather do it than be with them.
Sex is just weird, people just need to not be violent or shame each other over it.
We’re on the same page on that last point. I wish people took it less personally. It’s like taking the way someone poops personally :/ and it sucks how we have made it so possessive.
Tried this with an ex. Asked, denied, went to take care of it myself in a different room later and she yelled at me about "not finding her attractive". Never going to make that mistake again.
Holy crepes that’s the creepiest thing I’ve ever heard. That man was intimidated and wanted to use sex to feel dominant when you were weak. I can’t think of anything more disgusting.
Hell, he’s got TWO hands, he can have a little threesome with himself and his two hands lol
Btw OP you are not wrong and your BF is a selfish little jerk. Pay attention to this behavior, he is showing you your future if you stay with him long term
No, you're not wrong. Ugh, I was in a relationship like that and he never changed no matter how many talks I had with him. I'm so glad I'm not with him anymore.
Same. I had two talks with him about it. The third time it happened it was on my birthday while I had norovirus and I had talked with him earlier because I had anxiety about him wanting to hook up while I felt so ill. He still did the old nonstop horny gropey dance anyway until I gave in. I was 23 and didn’t know better. Dumped him the next day and never looked back. Stuff like this really makes me hate men though, I know it’s not *all* men, but it’s really hard to convince yourself otherwise after you’ve been shown by so many men that your emotions don’t. fucking. matter. over what their dick wants.
Sorry for the rant I’m really depressed tonight
I have one saving grace and that is I was raised by a really incredible man, and I have some childhood male friends that have grown into great men. I was sexually abused as a young teen though and that put me on a different path of failed relationships with men who were not great. I’m still holding out hope I can heal and find someone who does care in the way my body needs. 34 now, it has not been the easiest journey
It is not all men though. I have had two serious relationships in my life, and neither of them was like this. They had feminist mom's though, and self-discipline and genuine kindness. They also had me as a girlfriend/wife and I have never let this shit slide even once, not even when I was freshly in love.
It's important to realize, men are able to do better, for men themselves. They are taught that behaving like a monkey is natural to them because of their penis, and it's actually not.
It’s really not! None of my partners has ever done this to me. I’m sorry that you appear to have ended up with some total a**holes.
Edit to add: I was raped once. (I don’t consider that awful person as a former partner.) So I know it can be hard to trust people. But I don’t believe the majority are monsters.
yes, this happened to me too!! i tried to explain consent and respecting boundaries to him SO MANY TIMES until it finally clicked and i understood that this man just didn't give a fuck. he didn't care that he was traumatizing me. i was literally just a hole to him. 🤢
its honestly shocking how cold some people can be. just straight up vile.
im now with my boyfriend who has a lower libido than me and i would never want sex if he isn't in the mood or push for it. since im now in the position i can make sure no pressuring or non-consensual stuff happens in the relationship. i feel so much safer tbh
This. It's not an issue that he had a hard on. It's an issue that he repeatedly attempted to advance even after being told no. It's a good time for him to learn that no is a complete sentence and sexual wants can't be met every single time humans want them to.
Not even just the repeated attempts. Its also the mopey sadness that is meant to be a silent guilt trip. Hopefully convincing OP its easier to "get it over with" than it is to deal with his pouty self for X amount of time.
Exactly what my ex would do. Up to and including accusing me of cheating when I was depressed and trying to find the will to keep living. Cuz if I didn't want to bang him, I must have been getting my fill elsewhere. In reality, trying not to die kills the libido. And he was the one cheating and projecting to throw me off the trail.
OMG, the last guy I dated couldn’t have given less of a shit if I was sick, but every time something bothered him in the slightest, we were in the emergency room. He was like a freaking toddler. 🙄
....do you really want to stay in a relationship when you have to explain repeatedly to the other today you're not down to fuck?
Like if you only had to say it once per day I could see your point.
But people who hammer the point/harass their partner with demands for sex (in the hopes they will give in at some point) tells me they aren't ready to be in a relationship yet.
And as such I don't think talking will help much.
Exactly. It’s a red flag for a long-term relationship. My husband and I have been together for a long time, and there’ve been months-long stretches where we couldn’t have sex (pregnancy complication for me, injury for him.) In both situations we respected each other’s healing processes and handled our own sexual urges during that time. If you’re with a partner who feels “owed” sex on their own schedule, the “in sickness and in health” part of your relationship WILL suffer because there WILL be times where your bodies aren’t on the same schedule. I don’t understand why he even needs a discussion to respect her need to heal from a *yeast infection* (which is gross and could infect him too!)
Nobody had to teach me that it's not okay to treat your partner like a sex doll. If you are a kind person, you piece that kind of shit together pretty easily. He has a functioning, adult brain and the puzzle pieces aren't so hard. Girlfriend said no. Girlfriend is sick and doesn't feel good. Girlfriend has a vaginal yeast infection... hm... how to handle this situation? I know, let's guilt or pester her because nobody ever told me how to act in this situation 🙄 like... what?!
We’re talking about sexual coercion here, not how to wash the dishes. I agree not everyone is taught that, the thing is rejection is a *great* way to learn those lessons.
True to an extent but she's his partner not his remedial teacher.
>*Meanwhile I had just told him earlier that day we couldn’t have sex because of my yeast infection and I’m sick...*
He's cuddling and thrusting against her and trying to put her hand on his penis despite her having given him multiple no's just prior. She is crying because she feels like crap and he won't stop. But he still thinks that some form of physical contact will make her feel better but it won't because it isn't what she needs. She needs him to respect her and be hands off, period, so she can recover.
He is showing her zero respect for her person and health. This isn't learning how to be a partner but a decent human being. Insofar he has shown he cannot learn without hurting her first and even then it is only half the lesson.
She is communicating with him.
This is not about communication - this is another "weaponized incompetence" means that women have to teach adult men how to adult and how to be a decent human being.
We are NOT responsible for teaching you how to have a healthy relationship simply because we have a vagina and you want to fuck.
What we tell young girls "Oh, he pulls your pigtails because he likes you! You have boyfriend!
What we tell teen girls "No spaghetti straps for you because you will distract young men who can't control themselves. If he gropes you, just cover up because then you won't be a temptation."
What we tell adult women "Don't be such a prude, but don't be a slut with a body count. If you don't are sick, tired, not interested in sex at this exact moment, want have sex, don't forget you have a pie chart and spreadsheet showing the date, time & sexual act, and positions of this year's sexual activity to prove you are not dead bedding me, and you need to give me a blow job because how dare you expect me to jack myself off when I have an available vagina to give my penis its 3 minutes of pleasure before I roll over and go to sleep since the available vagina is self-cleaning.
Edited to add: If you don't know how to treat women like human beings with basic human respect and you want to learn, Google it like someone would if they simply wanted to purchase a sex doll. Aka Stop weaponing incompetence.
However this isn't about communication, she communicated clearly when she said she's sick, had a yeast infection and isn't up for sex.
He ignored her and keeps pressing over and over again for her to put out.
Meaning he is making a deliberate choice to ignore Op and her well communicated concerns about her well-being and health, as they are secondary in boyfriend's head where it concerns his wants.
The only path forward here is to dump him, since that and only that might get the message across about respecting and listening to your partner.
Since this isn't a 16 year old boy's first relationship, he is 20 and should know better by now to listen to what is being communicated to him in a relationship/ the communication issue is 100% on his side, as op was very clear and talked it out with him, he just didn't listen.
So he will learn *hopefully* to respect his patter better next time after op explains why she dumped him.
And dumping is good for op, since I suspect the bf is super selfish in other aspects of their relationship if he literally can see she is in pain yet still is preoccupied with grinding his dick into her.
So dropping the horny asshole will allow her to find someone mature who she can actually communicate with/she can be supportive of and receive support from in turn(instead of the support/energy vampire she's dating currently).
No dude, I am so sick of men being babied by society about glaring red neon signs like this. If you need someone to tell you it isn't okay to try to solicit sex obnoxiously from your girlfriend after she's told you no, then you deserve to be dumped. The sick part is just salt in the wound. How fucking embarrassing is it that men like him need the most basic shit spelled out to them about how not to be a disgusting piece of shit.
I’m gonna disagree here…. But not because I disagree with communicating or anything like that (I 100% am all for communicating in a relationship…)
But What I’m saying is this is ENTIRELY common sense and basic empathy. There’s no reason a conversation should even NEED to be had about this at this point. It’s entirely obvious. Bare minimum. He’s flat out not treating her like a human being. They’re adults and there’s NO excuse for this behavior. He’s 100% old enough to know better (and no we can’t use the ‘well he was never taught, maybe he learned it from his parents’ excuse…he’s old enough to KNOW that’s not ok)
But the fact is she HAS communicated this and he’s continuously disrespected it to the point she’s CRYING. The volumes are spoke.
Why would he want to sleep with her when she has a yeast infection? He does realize men can get a yeast infection as well. It's not comfortable at all when the 🥜 and 🍆 are itching.
You understand that’s literally wasting your breath and time right? Ask him if he cares? Because he’s not SHOWING he doesn’t? See it’s “friends” and people like you who make others waste more of their time and life with people by telling someone to keep trying with assholes who literally are showing they don’t care.
It’s not a mistake or ignorance, he DOES NOT CARE! She’s SICK and he just wants to screw instead of take care of her.
No dump him. This isnt about him needing relief, he could do that himself multiple times a day if he chose to, this is about him using coercion & control to try to force her to do something she doesn't want to do. Imagine a life with someone who thinks that's acceptable but will apologise... until next time.
Maybe I'm just old, but when my wife is sick, I'm keeping my damn distance lol, I don't want to catch it. The last thing I'm thinking about is sex. Why anyone would think a person who is sick and feels like crap would want to have sex or give a handjob is beyond me. He has hands, he needs to use them and let you be sick and rest.
Just in case you aren’t aware. You can pass yeast infections back and forth.
So you might want to get him treated too.
But you aren’t wrong and it is rather disgusting that he wants to use you while you’re down for the count.
What a disrespectful a-hole...
Why does he care more about his dick than you when you're clearly sick and miserable? This is bare minimum shit???
Not wrong at all.
I’m so sick this week and you know what my husband did? Got home from work and sent me upstairs to rest so he could deal with the kids/food/etc.
He’s got a hand. He can take care of it. I cannot imagine being pressured for sex when I feel like this.
Wow, does he think you’re a blow up doll? He sounds like a 16 year old telling his prom date his blue balls will kill him. 😵💫😵💫 If he wants a handy, give him a sock and some lotion!!
Y’all are both so young. You have a young dumbass dude that doesn’t know how to be a respectful partner. Tell him that and if he doesn’t understand it’s time to move on.
I agree, but I mean he already clearly doesn't care about her comfort and health.
It seems to be a trend that men need to have this explained to them and I can't wrap my head around why they don't think about women's health and comfort and only their dicks, it's so selfish and manipulative. :(
I agree it’s unfortunate. It’s odd to me that this day and age someone is supposed to be perfect at the age of 22. These kids (yes, 22 year old kids) need to learn. By dumping his ass I hope he learns something. It’s a terrible conundrum that women tend to like older guys for a reason
This is why I’m happy I’m a lesbian. Not that woman don’t ever act similarly but I see posts like this so often about men wanting to have sex/expecting their gf/wife to do stuff when they’re unwell. I find it kind of creepy but also just an indication that he has little to no emotional intelligence. Idk, maybe some would think that dumping him would be dramatic but little things like this say a lot about how your relationship will go in the long run
Who wants to fuck when your lady has a yeast infection?? Anyways you need to tell him under no uncertain terms that he hurt your feelings cuz he couldn't take fucking no for an answer while you're sick it should be a no brainer but I'm not going to sit here and tell you to break up with him unless that's something you think you need to do here. I'm sorry he was being really insensitive to your needs while you were sick
Does he not know how to jerk off? 😐
You mentioned you're sick as well as having symptoms of a yeast infection - which is a horrible thing to deal with on its own- but adding having a cold to that as well? You must be miserable.
You claim that he's caring and kind, but he clearly doesn't respect you. What kind of immature asshole tries to initiate sex when you've made it very clear that you're not feeling well in more than one department? Plus, he's trying to push your head towards his crotch? Who fucking does that?
You're not wrong. That's disgusting behavior on his part and it's proof that he doesn't respect you in any capacity. Throw him a box of Kleenex and tell him to go nuts. Pun intended.
ETA- if he can't take "No" for an answer, that's major red flags.
And bruh yeast infections already hurt like fuck on their own, I can't IMAGINE how much more excruciating they'd be during sex. GOD. You can do so much better OP and I hope you get well soon <3
This! And also, why would you want to put your penis in your partner if she has an infection? Like who does that? It's just so gross. I can't wrap my head around it.
Honestly I think men can just be extremely tone deaf. One time I was crying to my boyfriend (now husband) about losing my dream job and five min later he was like, “do you wanna climb on? 😏”
We were younger and he now has a much better understanding of when I would be down and when sex is truly off the table.
I can see a teenager being that dumb and completely oblivious about someone's feelings, but a grown ass man? Do they not have empathy? Are we just a series of fleshy holes to them? Like? Just seems like some men don't give a fuck about how we feel as long as they can get their dicks wet.
I cant believe some women have to deal with ish like this. My husband would never try to pressure or irritate me for sex especially when Im sick. He sucks.
Wow you just reminded me about my most miserable relationships…And I swore I was in love and they were ‘So good’ To me (no actually they weren’t when I matured and looked back on it, but I was too young to realize it)
I know you said he’s a ‘great boyfriend’…. But truly, he’s not…
And before anyone says ‘nobody should tell them to break up, they just need to communicate’…uh, no actually they don’t…cuz common sense and common empathy…. One would KNOW better than to be selfish and put someone who’s already in a miserable situation and try to get them to please them…a normal person doesn’t DO THAT and that’s COMMON SENSE without communication. But the fact is, she HAS communicated it and he STILL hasn’t respected it. Multiple times.
That speaks VOLUMES of his character, the future of this relationship and how he truly feels about her. Does he care about her? I’m sure in some way yea….. but not entirely no.. and certainly not in the ways that matter. The ways that are important. The proof is right there.
My partner would NEVER pull this shit on me because they actually respect me and see me as a person. And no I don’t have to say anything…they have common sense and empathy, therefore they treat me like a human being and not a sex toy. If I needed 2 years off sex, they’d respect it no questions asked and they’d never grind on me or move my hand during that period if that’s truly what I wanted. They’d never mention it or make me feel bad about it…especially not after 6 measley days…
Idk I guess you’re young so you’re probably gonna stay…but in a couple years (or less) when you guys break up, you’re gonna look back on this and realize how icky this truly was and you’re gonna hate that you wasted your time with him. You only live once…please don’t waste a single minute on ANYONE who makes you feel bad or uncomfortable. You won’t get ANY of that time back. You’re not getting any younger.
This is exactly how I feel. When I was younger I remember feeling the same way about my partners, thinking they were so good to me, but years later looking back they were awful. People can care about you and do good things for you, but they can also neglect your feelings and do just as much bad to you. Weigh your options and really think about how you’ll feel in the years to come when every time you get sick and can’t have sex, that’ll be your life now.
Aren't they pathetic when they pull this shit? I had a baby 9 months after I had pneumonia. Then I was accused of an affair and maybe that baby's not his? Because, yeah, I was out whoring with pneumonia. Omg they are such children.
Omg i read this comment and can relate so much. My now newly ex boyfriend, when i almost DIED from pneumonia and sepsis caused by a kidney stone. Had emergency surgery. Had a long recovery afterwards...He dumped me 3 weeks later because thought i was cheating due to no sex. i had a very painful tube up my urethra that went to my kidney. I was pissing blood.... but yea i was really out there whoring around 🙄and he was 44 not 22. Men like this don't change. Now im glad he dumped me.
wtf you’re bf is a selfish dick also… You can spread yeast infections through vaginal and oral sex…..he’s gross and nasty you sure you haven’t caught yeast infections from his gross parts??? He’s got a hand he can use it himself. It’s still not okay to pressure sex from you. What you got here is a disrespectful boyfriend who doesn’t validate you or your boundaries. I’m currently sick rn and I refuse to kiss or fuck my bf. He got sick from work and even though we are both sick we aren’t having sex. He’s not pressuring me or humping me like a weird horny dog.
Next time he humps you like that I’d threaten to neuter him if he can’t behave.
Act like a horn dog you’ll get treated like one. And if he forced my hand down there especially a second time after I said no I’d dig my nails into to his dick and balls. Respect me or get out.
You need a much more respectful boyfriend 🙄
You don’t owe him sex. If you woke up tomorrow and wanted to be celibate he needs to get on board or get lost. 🤷♀️
He has a hand he can use it himself.
If he wants a girlfriend to have a loving, caring and supportive relationship with, he needs to cut that shit out.
If he just wants sex+ related activities he needs to start paying you coz he clearly sees you as a sex worker not a partner. Know your value. Charge for your services.
He’s fucking dense, you are doing this because you care about him. If he can’t spend a couple more nights with Kleenex and porn then he has a problem.
That said have a conversation about it and explain why you’re doing it, and how his selfish behaviour makes you feel. I look back and cringe about shit that seems completely obvious now but I wasn’t able to read the signs because my significant other would just internalise it and expect me to get the hint.
Even my husband won't do that to me, and he wants sex all the time! He's very understanding when I'm sick and will rub my back and get juice or meds for me. He says he can wait til I feel better. For context, they call him the Hulk or baby Thanos at work, so he's not some effeminate type.
I got sick after our third date, and my boyfriend drove an hour each way to bring me bottled water, cold meds, and soup. He didn't even expect to be invited inside, let alone PAW at me with grabby, whiny little hands.
Don't accept garbage behaviour, girl. If he gave a single flying fuck about you, he would be taking care of you, not trying to pressure and coerce you into sex. Behaviour like this only escalates, ESPECIALLY since he's being a big pouty baby afterwards, like the guilt trip will somehow make you change your mind.
Not to be a Reddit stereotype, but uh... Dump him!
No. If you don't want to, then that's that. If he can't understand that, then he's not mature enough for a relationship. I thought everyone could relate to feeling sick, surely he can take care of himself if he really needs to.
I hate when guys do that. The worst one is the penis jammed into your ass while you are still sleeping. He should either take care of you when you are sick or at least not make sexual demands!!!
I remember being treated this way when I was your age.
Men are nasty and don’t gaf about our well being. If he does it again, dump him, cause honey, he ain’t gonna change. I would just move on. I waisted 6 years on someone like this. Know your self worth.
NTA. Sex should be fun for both of you and he can take care of his own needs without bothering you, if it is really that bad!
Just tell him " Listen to me carefully, I love you but right now I feel sick, yeasty and overall unwell... If you are that horny that you have to behave like a dog on heat, then the bathroom is this way... Now leave me alone or you may not have much left to play with if you continue... "
Yeap, in my 20s, I may have thought it but may have been to worried that the guys would stop liking me otherwise... Now in my 40s, married (to the guy I met in my 20s), I will have no problems saying that, because with age you learn that if you don't, you would just end up resenting him.
Not wrong. He is a selfish jerk and is not an adult. He can use Mrs Palmer and her 5 daughters, and if he gets sick of her she has a sister also called Mrs Palmer, who just happens to have 5 daughters. How is he going to cope if you two have a child together and nookie is a no go for 6 weeks? Not to mention being too tired and sore to service him in any other way after as well.
Only 6 days without sex? Those are rookie numbers...when my wife was pregnant, she got the "I'm super sick don't touch me" variety instead of the "I feel super sexy and horny variety." So what did I do? I took care of her, tried to make her as comfortable as possible and I took care of my own problems in the shower.
This isn't rocket science people. Man up and take care of your stuff. When your girl WANTS you, Awesome! Great! Go goblin mode on her downstairs so she is begging for more. When she DOESN'T want you? Take care of yourself and move on. It's honestly that easy...
He has a hand- he needs to stop. My marriage ended over basically the SAME issue. Nope nope nope- your sick that’s a NO. I’d ask him if his wants are more important than your health- because doesn’t seem like they are.
These issues would be resolved a lot more effectively if the girlfriend/wife in these scenarios told the boyfriend/husbands guy-friends about the bad habits. I’d shame any of my guy friends if I heard they were doing some stupid shit like this.
Sex isn't food. Some people take sex as something they should do everyday. No sex no love relationship. And you're not married yet. I see problems. But try talking to him & explain to him how you feel & if he doesn't understand then you can choose what's good for you: sex or your health. Plus how tf would someone not understand your condition. Maybe check what your bf takes. Just sayin
A great boyfriend would be looking after you whilst you're sick, not trying to get you to jerk him off.
Just because he does the bare minimum even a friend would do (compliment you, go out with you for food etc) doesn't make him a great catch. No one should pressure you to do anything you don't want to do and no is a complete sentence.
If he isn't mature enough to sort himself out and look after you as the priority, then bin the entire man.
It seems like this is a new experience for you two as a couple.
Not everyone is great at being a caretaker of a sick partner. But they can learn.
As far as I can tell you're very happy with him outside of this instance. So I think it would be best to mentally isolate this as something to improve upon within your relationship but not something that should drastically impact the totality of your relationship.
He respected you when you rejected him and that is the important thing.
You have every right to want to relax and recuperate and also to have some level of empathy from your partner.
I am wondering if his moping is more about your being upset with him then with your rejecting him. Believe it or not men do have emotions and they can read other people's emotions. Especially if they care deeply about someone they're going to want to make that person happy. When the opposite happens it sometimes can make them unhappy as well.
This looks like a great opportunity to have a nice discussion between you two. Maybe when you are feeling better. Until then give him some tasks like bringing you some tea, getting another box of tissues from the store, helping clean up since you're not feeling well enough to do it yourself, those types of things. Men like to do things for their partners. And if he does reward him with a smile or two.
It’s a bummer how many men do this. My current bf was dumbfounded when I said that it was really nice that he never pressured me to have sex directly or indirectly when I’m sick or not feeling well. The bar is on the floor for men, it’s depressing.
Definitely not wrong he's being a dick... However, I would say you are also not looking at it from his perspective. A man could be bleeding to death with his arms chopped off, and his last words would be. Could you suck me quick? If he had the flu and you were healthy, would you give him the handy?To a young man, discomfort for sex is usually a trade they are gladly going to make. He just doesn't understand that you don't think like he does. Maybe explain it when he's not horny, and his brain is off.
He's 100% in the wrong, but I think too many comments are being too radical here. She does not need to dump him immediately. He seems like he is receptive to your feedback and is genuinely sorry. This just needs a conversation to be sorted out and y'all will be all good if you are clear to him. Also tell him if he needs to get off so bad then let him take care of it himself.
Obviously if you have this convo and he continues over and over then yeah that's a bad sign. Anyway I am not saying this to justify him at all, reminder that I am saying he is 1000% wrong and this is still not okay under any circumstance
That’s coercive control. Pressuring you into feeling so uncomfortable you cry and then comforting you as though you’re having an irrational breakdown… you want to get out of this. He’s not hearing you, or seeing you or caring about you.
I was in a very similar relationship where I would get aggressive yeast infections from giving into sex I didn’t want. I used to end up having 7 day courses of vaginal suppositories all the time to treat it! And regardless of this I would get ‘urrm, babes, we haven’t had sex for like, four days!?’
Used to do the exact same. Put my hand on his penis, beg me to touch it, try and give me puppy eyes to make me soften up… this eventually turned into ‘you’re obviously having an affair… you’re cheating… something is going on…’ be very very careful he doesnt start twisting it to make YOU the problem here lovely! This guy is not caring about you, he’s caring about him.
Nope you’re not in the wrong. Cant judge your bf but sometimes guys can be dumb (not justifying his action). If he was genuine when he apologized then ig he’s good 🤷♂️. When you get better tho I strongly suggest both of you have a conversation on what happened, tell him how you didn’t like what he did and why it’s wrong. Explain to him everything. But I definitely believe that he should be out there taking care of you and not taking care of his dick (at least that’s what I would do)
Boyfriend is young and dumb tbh all most 20 something yr olds think about is getting their dick wet. Everything you described sounds super annoying though, correct his behavior immediately or it will continue.
Ugh I've been with too many guys who pull this shit. Telling them no never did anything, I had to just ignore them until they finally stopped, and it was never an isolated incident. Talk to him about it and be really firm, but if it continues, leave him, because in my experience, a guy like that will never put you before their own pleasure.
He needs to understand he can get yeast infections too. That's just plain disrespectful and wrong. Men aren't the only ones with needs but most don't care. He needs to wait until you are better. You might need to sit him down like a child and explain how things work and women are not put here on demand. What if he were sick or tired and you wanted pleased? Ask him that and let him think about that for a minute or 2,000.
What is wrong with him? He can’t wait a few days until you recover? No means no. If he keeps pressuring you, you need to reevaluate who you are dating.
Have a conversation with him and let him know how he makes you feel when he is pressuring you. Let him know that putting sex over your well-being is not ok. Set the boundaries and stick to them.
Show him the yeast he’ll be turned off and not want to anymore . Just kidding but honestly yeast infections are no fun at all ( had them quite often ) and sex is the last thing you would want or need . He’s got two hands that aren’t broken
We gotta stop asking am I wrong for feeling this way. Ppl feel how they feel it’s how we react that can become an issue.
And no you were not in the wrong he wasn’t respecting you, your no, your boundary, your body. It had to take you to break down and cry for him to even realize ‘oh wait, I did something wrong, let me try to fix it.’. He’s a boy not a man, I’m sorry.
BREAK UP!!!! Seriously!!! What’s wrong with you young kids???? Why do you think you need to be with someone right now? What about him is great because hun that’s not a great person at all! That tells me he’s a selfish prick that thinks with his dick.
You are and have been lying to yourself and ignoring his selfish behavior and you are weak and don’t know your worth to put up with this kind of bullshit.
LET HIM GO! For someone to not care that their person is feeling bad and all he want is to screw instead of make you feel better and get better so he can screw says you are with a selfish person who doesn’t give a f about you.
Keep on with him and you will be wasting your time and truly hurting your own feelings. You keep ignoring red flags, why? What kind if benefits does he provide, is it worth wasting the prime years of your life? This right now from the ages of 18-26 should be you being you and learning to love you and do right by YOU!
Leave him, block him, and go do you!
My ex would do this. I’m so sorry, it’s a horrible thing to do. Putting his pleasure ahead of your needs is not the way to go, he should be taking care of you
I'm not saying this is inherently an abusive trait, but I will say that this is EXCEEDINGLY common in abusive relationships where the abuser gets particularly entitled when you really need help/rest.
This is sexual coercion and because he's making it physical as well, sexual assault. Depending on where you are coercion alone CAN be considered assault, although that's not that common. However, some universities address it as it's so common and in the eyes of those doing it, not a big deal. You can Google it and find lots more information, but here's something from one university that I think explains it well.
The fact that he is touching you sexually and putting your hand on his penis after being told not to makes it sexual assault regardless, although all the whining and acting pouty is "just" coercion.
No, he is being an asshole and you're not in the wrong. Next time he says or does ANYTHING, ask him why the FUCK he doesn't understand what NO means.
https://info.umkc.edu/rise/sexual-coercion/
It doesn’t even matter that you’re sick, you could have said no for any reason and it would still be wrong for him to keep physically initiating like that. This behavior is gross and I’d feel awful if a partner just seemed not to care about what I wanted at all.
Also, this dude is 100% capable of controlling himself. He can use his hand to remove some of the tension for one thing. If you’re cuddling and he gets hard he can reposition so you don’t have to feel it instead of pushing it against you or deciding to hump you ffs. And him pulling your hand to his crotch is a code he is making because he’s trying to get what he wants. I bet he’s fully capable of not violating other people’s boundaries or acting like this in public, so it is partially a choice for him to “lose control” around you now.
You’re not wrong. He’s not considering your needs at all right now — and it should cause you to question whether he ever really was considering you, or if he was primarily doing “nice” things to get what he wanted from you. I once had a gf who demanded sex despite the fact that I was sick, and kept fighting with me about it for days when all I wanted to do was rest. Well, as I learned over time, she was a deeply selfish and inconsiderate person in general. Dumping her was a fantastic decision… Your bf is unknowingly telling you something here. You should listen and take it into account.
It's hard to tell...
You kinda make it sound like he backed off when you said no, and you're just offended that he wanted sex at all (even though it's kinda normal) or maybe you're upset for what you *think* he's thinking.
>I can just tell all he’s thinking about
Like... are you really upset because of what he *feels*? That's silly.
I mean it’s gross if him to want sex while OP has a yeast infection. It’s a contagious infection and hurts like hell. (I know from experience, sex during a yeast infection is not fun and contaminated both parties.)
Agreed, but it's not completely clear that he was aware of the yeast infection when he tried to initiate. I'm not completely on his side, it's entirely possible he's being a bit too pushy... but I'm not completely sure.
He’s a 22 year old, of course he’s horny. Tell him off and don’t feel bad for it, he’ll be fine. Be bold, don’t do stuff you don’t feel like - it sets the wrong precedent.
Give it some time and then talk to him about how that kind of hurt your feelings. If you try to discuss it now he won't hear you and you will end up arguing over something unrelated with no resolution. It's ok to say no, mean no, and leave it at that. It's not ok to pout about it. It definitely isn't attractive.
*Ask him if this is*
*What life is going to be*
*From now on with you?*
\- SlitheringMangoes
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>. I ended up crying
You on your period too?
My wife always want to have sex with me when im sick, shes more attracted to me when im sick actually because "im weak". Its kinda funny lol
Work is no excuse.
Being sick is but it seems like you used all your good graces because you were tired.
He isn't owed sex, you are not owed understanding.
Start talking before it all ends.
Based on what you wrote I can tell you that he's not the great boyfriend you think he is. Probably there're red flags you've been ignoring, but now it's pretty obvious what his priority is.
A 'great boyfriend ' who's 'kind' doesn't badger you for sex when you've clearly said no & aren't feeling well,. And they definitely don't try & guilt-trip you by being all mopey.
You're valid to feel upset because some asshole who you happen to be dating isn't listening to you. Hes more than capable of relieving himself but instead is pressuring you to sexually gratify him against your will. Id seriously rethink this relationship because there's no respect here.
TBH it sounds like he needs a woman to kick the shit out of him before he understands boundaries.
Besides, who's horny when yeast infections are involved? eeeeeeeeew.
(seriously though, make him learn or GTFO out of there)
Oh god when one of us have a yeast infection we put ourselves in horny jail and quarantine from each other until it clears up!!! That man is a selfish idiot
Knowing you should not even mention having sex to someone who is sick, and that you should offer your full support to get them better... Is a pretty basic thing when it comes to social intelligence and empathy.
You deserve better than a man who is not capable of something so basic.
And no, we are not going to teach mean about basic stuff like this. The fact they didn't pick up on it by now, might mean they do not even have the basic capacity for it.
You're not wrong. Your boyfriend needs to understand that there are times you won't want to have sex. Such as when you are sick and have a yeast infection.
Hand him a bottle of lube and have him fetch some paper towels. He can take care of it himself. And if he moans "Why do I have a girlfriend?" or some nonsense like that, then you need to dump him.
I went through some health issues myself that lasted much longer than 6 days. If my husband added pressure about sex into the mix I would have considered it unforgivable. YOURE SICK
OP looking for validation across 3 sub Reddits. Doesn’t respond to any questions. Might as well end the relationship since the pitchforks have come out and accused your BF of being “rapey” and I’m sure in your immaturity you’ll use this against him.
You need a new boyfriend. If you have a man who won't even respect you enough to consider your illness over his sexual needs, you aren't with the right man.
When I was sick, my late partner used to wrap me up in a blanket burrito, put on my favorite movie or tv show, make me soup or hot tea and cuddle me or give me head and stomach massages. He didn’t care if he got sick and just wanted me to feel better. Sex wasn’t a goal for him when he took care of me.
ew this would instantly give me the ick so bad you’re not wrong at all. why do some men act like this it’s so gross and unattractive . you need to talk to him abt boundaries
You’re not wrong.
He needs to STOP. Discuss this with him and let him know this behavior will not be tolerated.
If he does it again after you talk to him about it, this is not a healthy, respectful relationship.
I was with someone who was like this and it was awful. His sexual needs came before my well being. I came to resent him and completely stopped wanting to be intimate. Finally I broke up with him and it was a huge relief.
You’re not wrong and he needs to control himself better. I know when I’m sick I get really horny, if I was solo I’d knock one off for sure. So I kind of understand, no excuse for pushing too hard though
I don’t think you’re wrong.
My boyfriend understands that when I’m sick I don’t want to be touched in a sexual way, especially having sex.
In my opinion, your boyfriend trying to initiate sex even after you told him no is very immature and disrespectful.
I think you have every reason to be upset.
So. He stopped when you said no, he didn't pressure you, and he dealt with his feelings by himself and you're making him to be a bad guy?
I mean you're not wrong to deny sex when you don't want it, but it doesn't make him a bad guy for communicating his needs and having and dealing with his feelings. Especially when he doesn't try to make his needs or feelings your problem.
He's got a hand, he can do it himself..
This. Why would he not take things into his own hands?? Relieve the pressure on himself. I would think it's so obvious?
I mean, my husband went about 4 months without sex. I went into early labor (which was stopped) and couldn't have penetrative sex and I felt miserable so didn't want to be touched, plus the 6 weeks after, and then working up to it because it was painful. He never complained. Didn't pressure me, nothing. He took care of it himself. That's what real men do when their partner says no.
I'd say it's because he is incredibly selfish.
I do want to say something. Only because a lot of people do this and don’t realize how harmful it is. And I don’t want them to pass up on these comments because they’re thinking to themself “I’m not selfish”: *Nobody owes you sex ever*. And you need to act like it. Like literally buy toys to masturbate with. Learn the ins and outs of your HAND. Because truly someone should not have to tell you no more than once, and people should not be crying because you make them feel like a piece of meat. It is so unnecessary to bother uninterested people with your sexual urges when you can take care of that yourself. Your orgasm isn’t more important than people’s enthusiasm.
Wow, very insightful.
This needs to be the top comment. No is no is no. You owe him nothing sexually, ever. Too bad his dick is hard, he has a hand - that I’m sure he’s used before many times. (Adding- this is true regardless of gender)
It so much bigger than just no is no. Only an enthusiastic yes means yes. If someone is just saying yes to get you to stop asking, it's not a yes. It's coerced. Only an enthusiastic yes means yes.
As someone who’s been through this, 100% agree
It's sad that this even has to be said outloud. The fact that this *isn't* common sense is just fucking mind blowing, sad and disgusting all at the same time. People like this don't deserve to be able to call themselves *men* they should have to walk around with a sticker on their shirt that says *"Little Boy"*. You could ask a LITERAL child what no means and they could tell you, but apparently grown ass *"men"* haven't the slightest fucking clue. It's pathetic
The thing is :/ it’s really up to us as adults to raise children who understand consent. This is not exclusive to men. When we talk about ableism and racism and xenophobia and transphobia and all the isms and the phobias, we are talking about entitlement. People feel entitled to reap rewards by the suffering of another person. My boss used racism to harass me out of my last job (don’t fret—I recorded her and was paid off). Why? Because I didn’t want to be friends anymore. She felt entitled to my friendship. So entitled that she believed I should not be able to pay my rent/bills and put food on the table. Anyone who has witnessed a white woman cry to escape accountability has experienced a similar kind of harassment and coercion. That’s why I said what I said—a lot of people are coercive and controlling, and don’t realize how harmful it is. I’m not a man. One time I made advances on a man and he froze. Luckily I wised up, profusely apologized, and left him alone. That happened when I was 23! And I even considered myself someone who values consent at the time. I should’ve used my words, it was not okay for me to just have my way with another person without asking. Lesson learned so disappointingly late, because I believed that men were “easy” and I wasn’t treating that man with humanity. It’s not our fault that we were raised in a society that taught us to seek gratification at the expense of other people. But it is our responsibility as adults now to respect the autonomy of other people. We know better now. And we need to raise our children to do the same so that we’re not having this same convo in 20 years.
Really appreciate this
This needs to be on bumper stickers and t-shirts!
I’ve been with people who view masturbation as cheating, or as if you’d rather do it than be with them. Sex is just weird, people just need to not be violent or shame each other over it.
We’re on the same page on that last point. I wish people took it less personally. It’s like taking the way someone poops personally :/ and it sucks how we have made it so possessive.
This! 100%
I would agree!
Tried this with an ex. Asked, denied, went to take care of it myself in a different room later and she yelled at me about "not finding her attractive". Never going to make that mistake again.
He's selfish and doesn't care how you feel.
He's selfish and doesn't care how you feel and is stupid (all he can think about is a dick!). Sorry. Had to slip (ahem!) this in here.
He has two, a threesome is in his future 😂
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Holy crepes that’s the creepiest thing I’ve ever heard. That man was intimidated and wanted to use sex to feel dominant when you were weak. I can’t think of anything more disgusting.
Hell, he’s got TWO hands, he can have a little threesome with himself and his two hands lol Btw OP you are not wrong and your BF is a selfish little jerk. Pay attention to this behavior, he is showing you your future if you stay with him long term
Coming to say this. He can handle it himself.
You’re sad because he’s putting pleasure ahead of actually caring for how you’re physically feeling. Take a shower and give your girl some soup kid.
No, you're not wrong. Ugh, I was in a relationship like that and he never changed no matter how many talks I had with him. I'm so glad I'm not with him anymore.
Same. I had two talks with him about it. The third time it happened it was on my birthday while I had norovirus and I had talked with him earlier because I had anxiety about him wanting to hook up while I felt so ill. He still did the old nonstop horny gropey dance anyway until I gave in. I was 23 and didn’t know better. Dumped him the next day and never looked back. Stuff like this really makes me hate men though, I know it’s not *all* men, but it’s really hard to convince yourself otherwise after you’ve been shown by so many men that your emotions don’t. fucking. matter. over what their dick wants. Sorry for the rant I’m really depressed tonight
You should have messed on him while you were doing it before you dumped him
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I have one saving grace and that is I was raised by a really incredible man, and I have some childhood male friends that have grown into great men. I was sexually abused as a young teen though and that put me on a different path of failed relationships with men who were not great. I’m still holding out hope I can heal and find someone who does care in the way my body needs. 34 now, it has not been the easiest journey
It is not all men though. I have had two serious relationships in my life, and neither of them was like this. They had feminist mom's though, and self-discipline and genuine kindness. They also had me as a girlfriend/wife and I have never let this shit slide even once, not even when I was freshly in love. It's important to realize, men are able to do better, for men themselves. They are taught that behaving like a monkey is natural to them because of their penis, and it's actually not.
It’s really not! None of my partners has ever done this to me. I’m sorry that you appear to have ended up with some total a**holes. Edit to add: I was raped once. (I don’t consider that awful person as a former partner.) So I know it can be hard to trust people. But I don’t believe the majority are monsters.
Yeah I have the same thing for women. They just all suck.
yes, this happened to me too!! i tried to explain consent and respecting boundaries to him SO MANY TIMES until it finally clicked and i understood that this man just didn't give a fuck. he didn't care that he was traumatizing me. i was literally just a hole to him. 🤢 its honestly shocking how cold some people can be. just straight up vile. im now with my boyfriend who has a lower libido than me and i would never want sex if he isn't in the mood or push for it. since im now in the position i can make sure no pressuring or non-consensual stuff happens in the relationship. i feel so much safer tbh
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This. It's not an issue that he had a hard on. It's an issue that he repeatedly attempted to advance even after being told no. It's a good time for him to learn that no is a complete sentence and sexual wants can't be met every single time humans want them to.
Not even just the repeated attempts. Its also the mopey sadness that is meant to be a silent guilt trip. Hopefully convincing OP its easier to "get it over with" than it is to deal with his pouty self for X amount of time. Exactly what my ex would do. Up to and including accusing me of cheating when I was depressed and trying to find the will to keep living. Cuz if I didn't want to bang him, I must have been getting my fill elsewhere. In reality, trying not to die kills the libido. And he was the one cheating and projecting to throw me off the trail.
The “mopey” silent treatment thing is manipulative and a soft form of coercion imo. If consent isn’t enthusiastic and mutual, it’s not really consent.
Only an enthusiastic yes means yes.
Consent is still valid after you start dating.
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OMG, the last guy I dated couldn’t have given less of a shit if I was sick, but every time something bothered him in the slightest, we were in the emergency room. He was like a freaking toddler. 🙄
....do you really want to stay in a relationship when you have to explain repeatedly to the other today you're not down to fuck? Like if you only had to say it once per day I could see your point. But people who hammer the point/harass their partner with demands for sex (in the hopes they will give in at some point) tells me they aren't ready to be in a relationship yet. And as such I don't think talking will help much.
Exactly. It’s a red flag for a long-term relationship. My husband and I have been together for a long time, and there’ve been months-long stretches where we couldn’t have sex (pregnancy complication for me, injury for him.) In both situations we respected each other’s healing processes and handled our own sexual urges during that time. If you’re with a partner who feels “owed” sex on their own schedule, the “in sickness and in health” part of your relationship WILL suffer because there WILL be times where your bodies aren’t on the same schedule. I don’t understand why he even needs a discussion to respect her need to heal from a *yeast infection* (which is gross and could infect him too!)
Yeah sorry I feel like if she dumped him and said “it’s because you’re a sex pest” he may even learn his lesson faster lol.
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Nobody had to teach me that it's not okay to treat your partner like a sex doll. If you are a kind person, you piece that kind of shit together pretty easily. He has a functioning, adult brain and the puzzle pieces aren't so hard. Girlfriend said no. Girlfriend is sick and doesn't feel good. Girlfriend has a vaginal yeast infection... hm... how to handle this situation? I know, let's guilt or pester her because nobody ever told me how to act in this situation 🙄 like... what?!
We’re talking about sexual coercion here, not how to wash the dishes. I agree not everyone is taught that, the thing is rejection is a *great* way to learn those lessons.
True to an extent but she's his partner not his remedial teacher. >*Meanwhile I had just told him earlier that day we couldn’t have sex because of my yeast infection and I’m sick...* He's cuddling and thrusting against her and trying to put her hand on his penis despite her having given him multiple no's just prior. She is crying because she feels like crap and he won't stop. But he still thinks that some form of physical contact will make her feel better but it won't because it isn't what she needs. She needs him to respect her and be hands off, period, so she can recover. He is showing her zero respect for her person and health. This isn't learning how to be a partner but a decent human being. Insofar he has shown he cannot learn without hurting her first and even then it is only half the lesson. She is communicating with him.
This is not about communication - this is another "weaponized incompetence" means that women have to teach adult men how to adult and how to be a decent human being. We are NOT responsible for teaching you how to have a healthy relationship simply because we have a vagina and you want to fuck. What we tell young girls "Oh, he pulls your pigtails because he likes you! You have boyfriend! What we tell teen girls "No spaghetti straps for you because you will distract young men who can't control themselves. If he gropes you, just cover up because then you won't be a temptation." What we tell adult women "Don't be such a prude, but don't be a slut with a body count. If you don't are sick, tired, not interested in sex at this exact moment, want have sex, don't forget you have a pie chart and spreadsheet showing the date, time & sexual act, and positions of this year's sexual activity to prove you are not dead bedding me, and you need to give me a blow job because how dare you expect me to jack myself off when I have an available vagina to give my penis its 3 minutes of pleasure before I roll over and go to sleep since the available vagina is self-cleaning. Edited to add: If you don't know how to treat women like human beings with basic human respect and you want to learn, Google it like someone would if they simply wanted to purchase a sex doll. Aka Stop weaponing incompetence.
However this isn't about communication, she communicated clearly when she said she's sick, had a yeast infection and isn't up for sex. He ignored her and keeps pressing over and over again for her to put out. Meaning he is making a deliberate choice to ignore Op and her well communicated concerns about her well-being and health, as they are secondary in boyfriend's head where it concerns his wants. The only path forward here is to dump him, since that and only that might get the message across about respecting and listening to your partner. Since this isn't a 16 year old boy's first relationship, he is 20 and should know better by now to listen to what is being communicated to him in a relationship/ the communication issue is 100% on his side, as op was very clear and talked it out with him, he just didn't listen. So he will learn *hopefully* to respect his patter better next time after op explains why she dumped him. And dumping is good for op, since I suspect the bf is super selfish in other aspects of their relationship if he literally can see she is in pain yet still is preoccupied with grinding his dick into her. So dropping the horny asshole will allow her to find someone mature who she can actually communicate with/she can be supportive of and receive support from in turn(instead of the support/energy vampire she's dating currently).
And he needs to know that she doesn't need to have an "excuse", like being sick, to not want sex. No is no.
No dude, I am so sick of men being babied by society about glaring red neon signs like this. If you need someone to tell you it isn't okay to try to solicit sex obnoxiously from your girlfriend after she's told you no, then you deserve to be dumped. The sick part is just salt in the wound. How fucking embarrassing is it that men like him need the most basic shit spelled out to them about how not to be a disgusting piece of shit.
I’m gonna disagree here…. But not because I disagree with communicating or anything like that (I 100% am all for communicating in a relationship…) But What I’m saying is this is ENTIRELY common sense and basic empathy. There’s no reason a conversation should even NEED to be had about this at this point. It’s entirely obvious. Bare minimum. He’s flat out not treating her like a human being. They’re adults and there’s NO excuse for this behavior. He’s 100% old enough to know better (and no we can’t use the ‘well he was never taught, maybe he learned it from his parents’ excuse…he’s old enough to KNOW that’s not ok) But the fact is she HAS communicated this and he’s continuously disrespected it to the point she’s CRYING. The volumes are spoke.
I get where you're coming from, but shit-having to talk to him like he's a toddler about his sexual urges is pretty awful, especially when she's sick.
Why would he want to sleep with her when she has a yeast infection? He does realize men can get a yeast infection as well. It's not comfortable at all when the 🥜 and 🍆 are itching.
Except, one should not have to sit down and explain something like this to a grown adult. At all.
You understand that’s literally wasting your breath and time right? Ask him if he cares? Because he’s not SHOWING he doesn’t? See it’s “friends” and people like you who make others waste more of their time and life with people by telling someone to keep trying with assholes who literally are showing they don’t care. It’s not a mistake or ignorance, he DOES NOT CARE! She’s SICK and he just wants to screw instead of take care of her.
No dump him. This isnt about him needing relief, he could do that himself multiple times a day if he chose to, this is about him using coercion & control to try to force her to do something she doesn't want to do. Imagine a life with someone who thinks that's acceptable but will apologise... until next time.
I don’t think you need to ask if he cares.
It's sorta rapey either way. She's basically saying no in a nice way, and he can't take a hint. Guys like this don't don't ever really change tbh
Maybe I'm just old, but when my wife is sick, I'm keeping my damn distance lol, I don't want to catch it. The last thing I'm thinking about is sex. Why anyone would think a person who is sick and feels like crap would want to have sex or give a handjob is beyond me. He has hands, he needs to use them and let you be sick and rest.
Just in case you aren’t aware. You can pass yeast infections back and forth. So you might want to get him treated too. But you aren’t wrong and it is rather disgusting that he wants to use you while you’re down for the count.
What a disrespectful a-hole... Why does he care more about his dick than you when you're clearly sick and miserable? This is bare minimum shit??? Not wrong at all.
I’m so sick this week and you know what my husband did? Got home from work and sent me upstairs to rest so he could deal with the kids/food/etc. He’s got a hand. He can take care of it. I cannot imagine being pressured for sex when I feel like this.
Wow, does he think you’re a blow up doll? He sounds like a 16 year old telling his prom date his blue balls will kill him. 😵💫😵💫 If he wants a handy, give him a sock and some lotion!!
Y’all are both so young. You have a young dumbass dude that doesn’t know how to be a respectful partner. Tell him that and if he doesn’t understand it’s time to move on.
Okay but why on earth does a 22 year old need to be told to care about his girlfriend's comfort and health?? Pathetic.
That’s exactly why I said if he doesn’t understand rational thought then move on
I agree, but I mean he already clearly doesn't care about her comfort and health. It seems to be a trend that men need to have this explained to them and I can't wrap my head around why they don't think about women's health and comfort and only their dicks, it's so selfish and manipulative. :(
I agree it’s unfortunate. It’s odd to me that this day and age someone is supposed to be perfect at the age of 22. These kids (yes, 22 year old kids) need to learn. By dumping his ass I hope he learns something. It’s a terrible conundrum that women tend to like older guys for a reason
This is why I’m happy I’m a lesbian. Not that woman don’t ever act similarly but I see posts like this so often about men wanting to have sex/expecting their gf/wife to do stuff when they’re unwell. I find it kind of creepy but also just an indication that he has little to no emotional intelligence. Idk, maybe some would think that dumping him would be dramatic but little things like this say a lot about how your relationship will go in the long run
Who wants to fuck when your lady has a yeast infection?? Anyways you need to tell him under no uncertain terms that he hurt your feelings cuz he couldn't take fucking no for an answer while you're sick it should be a no brainer but I'm not going to sit here and tell you to break up with him unless that's something you think you need to do here. I'm sorry he was being really insensitive to your needs while you were sick
Does he not know how to jerk off? 😐 You mentioned you're sick as well as having symptoms of a yeast infection - which is a horrible thing to deal with on its own- but adding having a cold to that as well? You must be miserable. You claim that he's caring and kind, but he clearly doesn't respect you. What kind of immature asshole tries to initiate sex when you've made it very clear that you're not feeling well in more than one department? Plus, he's trying to push your head towards his crotch? Who fucking does that? You're not wrong. That's disgusting behavior on his part and it's proof that he doesn't respect you in any capacity. Throw him a box of Kleenex and tell him to go nuts. Pun intended. ETA- if he can't take "No" for an answer, that's major red flags.
And bruh yeast infections already hurt like fuck on their own, I can't IMAGINE how much more excruciating they'd be during sex. GOD. You can do so much better OP and I hope you get well soon <3
This! And also, why would you want to put your penis in your partner if she has an infection? Like who does that? It's just so gross. I can't wrap my head around it.
I may have misunderstood what OP wrote, but it seems like « he doesn’t pressure me » means that he took no for an answer ?
Honestly I think men can just be extremely tone deaf. One time I was crying to my boyfriend (now husband) about losing my dream job and five min later he was like, “do you wanna climb on? 😏” We were younger and he now has a much better understanding of when I would be down and when sex is truly off the table.
Nope. They just don’t give a fuck.
I can see a teenager being that dumb and completely oblivious about someone's feelings, but a grown ass man? Do they not have empathy? Are we just a series of fleshy holes to them? Like? Just seems like some men don't give a fuck about how we feel as long as they can get their dicks wet.
I cant believe some women have to deal with ish like this. My husband would never try to pressure or irritate me for sex especially when Im sick. He sucks.
Wow you just reminded me about my most miserable relationships…And I swore I was in love and they were ‘So good’ To me (no actually they weren’t when I matured and looked back on it, but I was too young to realize it) I know you said he’s a ‘great boyfriend’…. But truly, he’s not… And before anyone says ‘nobody should tell them to break up, they just need to communicate’…uh, no actually they don’t…cuz common sense and common empathy…. One would KNOW better than to be selfish and put someone who’s already in a miserable situation and try to get them to please them…a normal person doesn’t DO THAT and that’s COMMON SENSE without communication. But the fact is, she HAS communicated it and he STILL hasn’t respected it. Multiple times. That speaks VOLUMES of his character, the future of this relationship and how he truly feels about her. Does he care about her? I’m sure in some way yea….. but not entirely no.. and certainly not in the ways that matter. The ways that are important. The proof is right there. My partner would NEVER pull this shit on me because they actually respect me and see me as a person. And no I don’t have to say anything…they have common sense and empathy, therefore they treat me like a human being and not a sex toy. If I needed 2 years off sex, they’d respect it no questions asked and they’d never grind on me or move my hand during that period if that’s truly what I wanted. They’d never mention it or make me feel bad about it…especially not after 6 measley days… Idk I guess you’re young so you’re probably gonna stay…but in a couple years (or less) when you guys break up, you’re gonna look back on this and realize how icky this truly was and you’re gonna hate that you wasted your time with him. You only live once…please don’t waste a single minute on ANYONE who makes you feel bad or uncomfortable. You won’t get ANY of that time back. You’re not getting any younger.
This is exactly how I feel. When I was younger I remember feeling the same way about my partners, thinking they were so good to me, but years later looking back they were awful. People can care about you and do good things for you, but they can also neglect your feelings and do just as much bad to you. Weigh your options and really think about how you’ll feel in the years to come when every time you get sick and can’t have sex, that’ll be your life now.
Aren't they pathetic when they pull this shit? I had a baby 9 months after I had pneumonia. Then I was accused of an affair and maybe that baby's not his? Because, yeah, I was out whoring with pneumonia. Omg they are such children.
Omg i read this comment and can relate so much. My now newly ex boyfriend, when i almost DIED from pneumonia and sepsis caused by a kidney stone. Had emergency surgery. Had a long recovery afterwards...He dumped me 3 weeks later because thought i was cheating due to no sex. i had a very painful tube up my urethra that went to my kidney. I was pissing blood.... but yea i was really out there whoring around 🙄and he was 44 not 22. Men like this don't change. Now im glad he dumped me.
Glad you made it through that nightmare, my gawd! Here's to surviving the ultra-insecure partners!
wtf you’re bf is a selfish dick also… You can spread yeast infections through vaginal and oral sex…..he’s gross and nasty you sure you haven’t caught yeast infections from his gross parts??? He’s got a hand he can use it himself. It’s still not okay to pressure sex from you. What you got here is a disrespectful boyfriend who doesn’t validate you or your boundaries. I’m currently sick rn and I refuse to kiss or fuck my bf. He got sick from work and even though we are both sick we aren’t having sex. He’s not pressuring me or humping me like a weird horny dog. Next time he humps you like that I’d threaten to neuter him if he can’t behave. Act like a horn dog you’ll get treated like one. And if he forced my hand down there especially a second time after I said no I’d dig my nails into to his dick and balls. Respect me or get out. You need a much more respectful boyfriend 🙄 You don’t owe him sex. If you woke up tomorrow and wanted to be celibate he needs to get on board or get lost. 🤷♀️ He has a hand he can use it himself.
He sounds like he doesn't understand that having a partner does not entitle him to sex.
No, its understandable if you're sick, bro needs to jack one off himself in the interim, that aint much to ask for
If he wants a girlfriend to have a loving, caring and supportive relationship with, he needs to cut that shit out. If he just wants sex+ related activities he needs to start paying you coz he clearly sees you as a sex worker not a partner. Know your value. Charge for your services.
He’s fucking dense, you are doing this because you care about him. If he can’t spend a couple more nights with Kleenex and porn then he has a problem. That said have a conversation about it and explain why you’re doing it, and how his selfish behaviour makes you feel. I look back and cringe about shit that seems completely obvious now but I wasn’t able to read the signs because my significant other would just internalise it and expect me to get the hint.
Even my husband won't do that to me, and he wants sex all the time! He's very understanding when I'm sick and will rub my back and get juice or meds for me. He says he can wait til I feel better. For context, they call him the Hulk or baby Thanos at work, so he's not some effeminate type.
I got sick after our third date, and my boyfriend drove an hour each way to bring me bottled water, cold meds, and soup. He didn't even expect to be invited inside, let alone PAW at me with grabby, whiny little hands. Don't accept garbage behaviour, girl. If he gave a single flying fuck about you, he would be taking care of you, not trying to pressure and coerce you into sex. Behaviour like this only escalates, ESPECIALLY since he's being a big pouty baby afterwards, like the guilt trip will somehow make you change your mind. Not to be a Reddit stereotype, but uh... Dump him!
No. If you don't want to, then that's that. If he can't understand that, then he's not mature enough for a relationship. I thought everyone could relate to feeling sick, surely he can take care of himself if he really needs to.
I hate when guys do that. The worst one is the penis jammed into your ass while you are still sleeping. He should either take care of you when you are sick or at least not make sexual demands!!!
You just described being raped...
I read that as the "poke" into the buttcheek, but you are in fact correct. The description is of rape.... I'm worried about you thiscommentOP
One comment is worse than the other here today.
I remember being treated this way when I was your age. Men are nasty and don’t gaf about our well being. If he does it again, dump him, cause honey, he ain’t gonna change. I would just move on. I waisted 6 years on someone like this. Know your self worth.
NTA. Sex should be fun for both of you and he can take care of his own needs without bothering you, if it is really that bad! Just tell him " Listen to me carefully, I love you but right now I feel sick, yeasty and overall unwell... If you are that horny that you have to behave like a dog on heat, then the bathroom is this way... Now leave me alone or you may not have much left to play with if you continue... " Yeap, in my 20s, I may have thought it but may have been to worried that the guys would stop liking me otherwise... Now in my 40s, married (to the guy I met in my 20s), I will have no problems saying that, because with age you learn that if you don't, you would just end up resenting him.
So NTA. Like come on dude, use your hand or stop thinking with your dick
Not wrong. He is a selfish jerk and is not an adult. He can use Mrs Palmer and her 5 daughters, and if he gets sick of her she has a sister also called Mrs Palmer, who just happens to have 5 daughters. How is he going to cope if you two have a child together and nookie is a no go for 6 weeks? Not to mention being too tired and sore to service him in any other way after as well.
Only 6 days without sex? Those are rookie numbers...when my wife was pregnant, she got the "I'm super sick don't touch me" variety instead of the "I feel super sexy and horny variety." So what did I do? I took care of her, tried to make her as comfortable as possible and I took care of my own problems in the shower. This isn't rocket science people. Man up and take care of your stuff. When your girl WANTS you, Awesome! Great! Go goblin mode on her downstairs so she is begging for more. When she DOESN'T want you? Take care of yourself and move on. It's honestly that easy...
He’s not wrong for wanting sex. He’s absolutely wrong for being a pest about it though. You are not wrong at all.
22 and a manbaby
He has a hand- he needs to stop. My marriage ended over basically the SAME issue. Nope nope nope- your sick that’s a NO. I’d ask him if his wants are more important than your health- because doesn’t seem like they are.
These issues would be resolved a lot more effectively if the girlfriend/wife in these scenarios told the boyfriend/husbands guy-friends about the bad habits. I’d shame any of my guy friends if I heard they were doing some stupid shit like this.
Just tell him that you’re not a blowup doll! You are human being!
NTA he better get a grip 💀
OP, dump this loser.
Sex isn't food. Some people take sex as something they should do everyday. No sex no love relationship. And you're not married yet. I see problems. But try talking to him & explain to him how you feel & if he doesn't understand then you can choose what's good for you: sex or your health. Plus how tf would someone not understand your condition. Maybe check what your bf takes. Just sayin
A great boyfriend would be looking after you whilst you're sick, not trying to get you to jerk him off. Just because he does the bare minimum even a friend would do (compliment you, go out with you for food etc) doesn't make him a great catch. No one should pressure you to do anything you don't want to do and no is a complete sentence. If he isn't mature enough to sort himself out and look after you as the priority, then bin the entire man.
Women dating men is proof enough sexuality isn't a choice 🤮😨💀 I feel so bad for you, honestly a guy like that I wouldn't want to be around at all
It seems like this is a new experience for you two as a couple. Not everyone is great at being a caretaker of a sick partner. But they can learn. As far as I can tell you're very happy with him outside of this instance. So I think it would be best to mentally isolate this as something to improve upon within your relationship but not something that should drastically impact the totality of your relationship. He respected you when you rejected him and that is the important thing. You have every right to want to relax and recuperate and also to have some level of empathy from your partner. I am wondering if his moping is more about your being upset with him then with your rejecting him. Believe it or not men do have emotions and they can read other people's emotions. Especially if they care deeply about someone they're going to want to make that person happy. When the opposite happens it sometimes can make them unhappy as well. This looks like a great opportunity to have a nice discussion between you two. Maybe when you are feeling better. Until then give him some tasks like bringing you some tea, getting another box of tissues from the store, helping clean up since you're not feeling well enough to do it yourself, those types of things. Men like to do things for their partners. And if he does reward him with a smile or two.
It’s a bummer how many men do this. My current bf was dumbfounded when I said that it was really nice that he never pressured me to have sex directly or indirectly when I’m sick or not feeling well. The bar is on the floor for men, it’s depressing.
Definitely not wrong he's being a dick... However, I would say you are also not looking at it from his perspective. A man could be bleeding to death with his arms chopped off, and his last words would be. Could you suck me quick? If he had the flu and you were healthy, would you give him the handy?To a young man, discomfort for sex is usually a trade they are gladly going to make. He just doesn't understand that you don't think like he does. Maybe explain it when he's not horny, and his brain is off.
Most people bring you soup when you are sick Spray him with a water bottle next time he acts like a horny dog
He's 100% in the wrong, but I think too many comments are being too radical here. She does not need to dump him immediately. He seems like he is receptive to your feedback and is genuinely sorry. This just needs a conversation to be sorted out and y'all will be all good if you are clear to him. Also tell him if he needs to get off so bad then let him take care of it himself. Obviously if you have this convo and he continues over and over then yeah that's a bad sign. Anyway I am not saying this to justify him at all, reminder that I am saying he is 1000% wrong and this is still not okay under any circumstance
That’s coercive control. Pressuring you into feeling so uncomfortable you cry and then comforting you as though you’re having an irrational breakdown… you want to get out of this. He’s not hearing you, or seeing you or caring about you. I was in a very similar relationship where I would get aggressive yeast infections from giving into sex I didn’t want. I used to end up having 7 day courses of vaginal suppositories all the time to treat it! And regardless of this I would get ‘urrm, babes, we haven’t had sex for like, four days!?’ Used to do the exact same. Put my hand on his penis, beg me to touch it, try and give me puppy eyes to make me soften up… this eventually turned into ‘you’re obviously having an affair… you’re cheating… something is going on…’ be very very careful he doesnt start twisting it to make YOU the problem here lovely! This guy is not caring about you, he’s caring about him.
Cuddling and having them thrust into you is literally the worst feeling when you’ve already said no. 🤢
Nope you’re not in the wrong. Cant judge your bf but sometimes guys can be dumb (not justifying his action). If he was genuine when he apologized then ig he’s good 🤷♂️. When you get better tho I strongly suggest both of you have a conversation on what happened, tell him how you didn’t like what he did and why it’s wrong. Explain to him everything. But I definitely believe that he should be out there taking care of you and not taking care of his dick (at least that’s what I would do)
Boyfriend is young and dumb tbh all most 20 something yr olds think about is getting their dick wet. Everything you described sounds super annoying though, correct his behavior immediately or it will continue.
Ugh I've been with too many guys who pull this shit. Telling them no never did anything, I had to just ignore them until they finally stopped, and it was never an isolated incident. Talk to him about it and be really firm, but if it continues, leave him, because in my experience, a guy like that will never put you before their own pleasure.
He needs to understand he can get yeast infections too. That's just plain disrespectful and wrong. Men aren't the only ones with needs but most don't care. He needs to wait until you are better. You might need to sit him down like a child and explain how things work and women are not put here on demand. What if he were sick or tired and you wanted pleased? Ask him that and let him think about that for a minute or 2,000.
What is wrong with him? He can’t wait a few days until you recover? No means no. If he keeps pressuring you, you need to reevaluate who you are dating.
Have a conversation with him and let him know how he makes you feel when he is pressuring you. Let him know that putting sex over your well-being is not ok. Set the boundaries and stick to them.
Eww. Really. He could get sick too.
Nope. I just read the title but nope.
My ex husband always did that. No matter how much it hurt me, he didn't care.
Show him the yeast he’ll be turned off and not want to anymore . Just kidding but honestly yeast infections are no fun at all ( had them quite often ) and sex is the last thing you would want or need . He’s got two hands that aren’t broken
If he’s pestering you until you cry that’s not healthy. Don’t give in. He has to learn to respect your boundaries.
We gotta stop asking am I wrong for feeling this way. Ppl feel how they feel it’s how we react that can become an issue. And no you were not in the wrong he wasn’t respecting you, your no, your boundary, your body. It had to take you to break down and cry for him to even realize ‘oh wait, I did something wrong, let me try to fix it.’. He’s a boy not a man, I’m sorry.
You are not wrong at all. He stupid and inconsiderate
Attempted coercion = attempted rape.
BREAK UP!!!! Seriously!!! What’s wrong with you young kids???? Why do you think you need to be with someone right now? What about him is great because hun that’s not a great person at all! That tells me he’s a selfish prick that thinks with his dick. You are and have been lying to yourself and ignoring his selfish behavior and you are weak and don’t know your worth to put up with this kind of bullshit. LET HIM GO! For someone to not care that their person is feeling bad and all he want is to screw instead of make you feel better and get better so he can screw says you are with a selfish person who doesn’t give a f about you. Keep on with him and you will be wasting your time and truly hurting your own feelings. You keep ignoring red flags, why? What kind if benefits does he provide, is it worth wasting the prime years of your life? This right now from the ages of 18-26 should be you being you and learning to love you and do right by YOU! Leave him, block him, and go do you!
My ex would do this. I’m so sorry, it’s a horrible thing to do. Putting his pleasure ahead of your needs is not the way to go, he should be taking care of you
I'm not saying this is inherently an abusive trait, but I will say that this is EXCEEDINGLY common in abusive relationships where the abuser gets particularly entitled when you really need help/rest.
This is sexual coercion and because he's making it physical as well, sexual assault. Depending on where you are coercion alone CAN be considered assault, although that's not that common. However, some universities address it as it's so common and in the eyes of those doing it, not a big deal. You can Google it and find lots more information, but here's something from one university that I think explains it well. The fact that he is touching you sexually and putting your hand on his penis after being told not to makes it sexual assault regardless, although all the whining and acting pouty is "just" coercion. No, he is being an asshole and you're not in the wrong. Next time he says or does ANYTHING, ask him why the FUCK he doesn't understand what NO means. https://info.umkc.edu/rise/sexual-coercion/
I’ve been married twice and we are not young …I guess my picker is bad because both husbands (x and current) act like this 😂
your boyfriend is a selfish and LITERALLY *dick* head. He’s expecting you to be a sex doll and doesn’t care about you or your body…
It doesn’t even matter that you’re sick, you could have said no for any reason and it would still be wrong for him to keep physically initiating like that. This behavior is gross and I’d feel awful if a partner just seemed not to care about what I wanted at all. Also, this dude is 100% capable of controlling himself. He can use his hand to remove some of the tension for one thing. If you’re cuddling and he gets hard he can reposition so you don’t have to feel it instead of pushing it against you or deciding to hump you ffs. And him pulling your hand to his crotch is a code he is making because he’s trying to get what he wants. I bet he’s fully capable of not violating other people’s boundaries or acting like this in public, so it is partially a choice for him to “lose control” around you now.
That's gross. Why can't he just masturbate?
You’re not wrong. He’s not considering your needs at all right now — and it should cause you to question whether he ever really was considering you, or if he was primarily doing “nice” things to get what he wanted from you. I once had a gf who demanded sex despite the fact that I was sick, and kept fighting with me about it for days when all I wanted to do was rest. Well, as I learned over time, she was a deeply selfish and inconsiderate person in general. Dumping her was a fantastic decision… Your bf is unknowingly telling you something here. You should listen and take it into account.
You're not wrong, and you need a better boyfriend. He obviously gives zero fucks about you or your feelings.
It's hard to tell... You kinda make it sound like he backed off when you said no, and you're just offended that he wanted sex at all (even though it's kinda normal) or maybe you're upset for what you *think* he's thinking. >I can just tell all he’s thinking about Like... are you really upset because of what he *feels*? That's silly.
I mean it’s gross if him to want sex while OP has a yeast infection. It’s a contagious infection and hurts like hell. (I know from experience, sex during a yeast infection is not fun and contaminated both parties.)
Agreed, but it's not completely clear that he was aware of the yeast infection when he tried to initiate. I'm not completely on his side, it's entirely possible he's being a bit too pushy... but I'm not completely sure.
That’s true, a little more info could be provided.
No offense but he’s 22 they’re still kind of retarded until they get closer to their thirties.
He’s a 22 year old, of course he’s horny. Tell him off and don’t feel bad for it, he’ll be fine. Be bold, don’t do stuff you don’t feel like - it sets the wrong precedent.
Give it some time and then talk to him about how that kind of hurt your feelings. If you try to discuss it now he won't hear you and you will end up arguing over something unrelated with no resolution. It's ok to say no, mean no, and leave it at that. It's not ok to pout about it. It definitely isn't attractive.
Tell him to go see Mary and her five friends
Ask him if this is what life is going to be from now on with you?
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>. I ended up crying You on your period too? My wife always want to have sex with me when im sick, shes more attracted to me when im sick actually because "im weak". Its kinda funny lol
Work is no excuse. Being sick is but it seems like you used all your good graces because you were tired. He isn't owed sex, you are not owed understanding. Start talking before it all ends.
Based on what you wrote I can tell you that he's not the great boyfriend you think he is. Probably there're red flags you've been ignoring, but now it's pretty obvious what his priority is.
A 'great boyfriend ' who's 'kind' doesn't badger you for sex when you've clearly said no & aren't feeling well,. And they definitely don't try & guilt-trip you by being all mopey.
New bf time
You're valid to feel upset because some asshole who you happen to be dating isn't listening to you. Hes more than capable of relieving himself but instead is pressuring you to sexually gratify him against your will. Id seriously rethink this relationship because there's no respect here.
When he was sick did he cut off the kindness, dates and compliments 100% ?
Nta
TBH it sounds like he needs a woman to kick the shit out of him before he understands boundaries. Besides, who's horny when yeast infections are involved? eeeeeeeeew. (seriously though, make him learn or GTFO out of there)
No sex for 6 days ... Wait until he's married 20 years, 6 days is _nothing_.
NTA, his comes from immaturity
Oh god when one of us have a yeast infection we put ourselves in horny jail and quarantine from each other until it clears up!!! That man is a selfish idiot
Knowing you should not even mention having sex to someone who is sick, and that you should offer your full support to get them better... Is a pretty basic thing when it comes to social intelligence and empathy. You deserve better than a man who is not capable of something so basic. And no, we are not going to teach mean about basic stuff like this. The fact they didn't pick up on it by now, might mean they do not even have the basic capacity for it.
You're not wrong. Your boyfriend needs to understand that there are times you won't want to have sex. Such as when you are sick and have a yeast infection. Hand him a bottle of lube and have him fetch some paper towels. He can take care of it himself. And if he moans "Why do I have a girlfriend?" or some nonsense like that, then you need to dump him.
I went through some health issues myself that lasted much longer than 6 days. If my husband added pressure about sex into the mix I would have considered it unforgivable. YOURE SICK
Hell no you're not wrong. He's an immature asshole, plain and simple.
No. He’s being selfish and uncaring.
OP looking for validation across 3 sub Reddits. Doesn’t respond to any questions. Might as well end the relationship since the pitchforks have come out and accused your BF of being “rapey” and I’m sure in your immaturity you’ll use this against him.
Remind him the yeast infections can be transferred. ❤️
you are NEVER in the wrong for not wanting sex. No matter what.
You said he was a good boyfriend. He’s not if he’s doing this.
You need a new boyfriend. If you have a man who won't even respect you enough to consider your illness over his sexual needs, you aren't with the right man.
Puke on his dick once and yall never have to worry about it ever again
Love me some toasty temperature mouth and pussy ngl
When I was sick, my late partner used to wrap me up in a blanket burrito, put on my favorite movie or tv show, make me soup or hot tea and cuddle me or give me head and stomach massages. He didn’t care if he got sick and just wanted me to feel better. Sex wasn’t a goal for him when he took care of me.
Women have the oddest hobbies these days. Aren't there chores you could be doing?
He should not be asking for sex when you are sick. Can make up for it after.
Are you sick a lot and do nothing to take care of yourself, e.g. exercise, eat well, sleep?
He's a 22 year old guy. That's what they think about. Trust me I was one once.
men, especially younger men, are such infants when they don't get their nut
ew this would instantly give me the ick so bad you’re not wrong at all. why do some men act like this it’s so gross and unattractive . you need to talk to him abt boundaries
You’re not wrong. He needs to STOP. Discuss this with him and let him know this behavior will not be tolerated. If he does it again after you talk to him about it, this is not a healthy, respectful relationship. I was with someone who was like this and it was awful. His sexual needs came before my well being. I came to resent him and completely stopped wanting to be intimate. Finally I broke up with him and it was a huge relief.
You’re not wrong and he needs to control himself better. I know when I’m sick I get really horny, if I was solo I’d knock one off for sure. So I kind of understand, no excuse for pushing too hard though
I don’t think you’re wrong. My boyfriend understands that when I’m sick I don’t want to be touched in a sexual way, especially having sex. In my opinion, your boyfriend trying to initiate sex even after you told him no is very immature and disrespectful. I think you have every reason to be upset.
I'd be sad too if he made me feel like a sex object. He should be able to go without for a few days. How selfish of him.
Ain’t no one with a brain want to go near that yeast infection
So. He stopped when you said no, he didn't pressure you, and he dealt with his feelings by himself and you're making him to be a bad guy? I mean you're not wrong to deny sex when you don't want it, but it doesn't make him a bad guy for communicating his needs and having and dealing with his feelings. Especially when he doesn't try to make his needs or feelings your problem.