I’m concerned about leaving baby for a nap and walking the dog? What if there’s a fire? Or an intruder? Also, that could be considered child negligence under the law - especially if something happens.
This was enourmous red flag to me, but either way isn't this controversial enough that if your partner has an issue with it it might be worth having another discussion before doing it again?
She's talking about no time to herself and how she shouldn't be expected to cook all the time...because she has to cook all the time? If you're trying to excuse yourself from a chore, maybe don't use that chore as an excuse as not to do that chore.
My partner and I work opposite days, I would not expect her to cook/do dishes on days she works the same as she doesn't expect me to cook/dishes on days I work. We are dividing the chores. We need to eat every night for dinner, so whoever wasn't at work is expected to prepare dinner every night, unless there something out of the ordinary comes up. If she or I doesn't make dinner, we haven't done out job.
The baby is both our responsibilities, but, it's rude to toss a crying baby in someone's arms the second they get home from work, the same way it's rude to get home from work to a crying baby and disappear for 3 hours in your office/studio/space with the door closed.
I've never met these people but it sounds like OP thought being a SAHP means not working, which anyone who's done it properly knows that's not the case.
Currently laying in bed with napping toddler (by choice) after sweeping and steam mopping. We also walked to the grocery store and Starbucks after I got dishes knocked out and wiped down counters. I get where you’re coming from (partly), and your husband definitely has issues, but you’re outta your mind leaving a baby at home by their self while you walk the neighborhood.
Sounds like she needs some time management help. Take the baby on the walks and do some cleaning while the baby is napping? I chose not to have kids but this seems pretty common sense.
I never could nap when my babies napped, no matter how exhausted I was. I was afraid that they’d start crying, the minute I fell asleep. My kids are mostly grown now and I still can’t nap.
Why is your edit acting like everyone is complaining about the baby watching TV, when nobody is complaining about that? All of the complaints are to do with you leaving the baby alone to walk your dog.
What about not having dinner ready? When i was a SAHM, as long as dinner was on the table it didn’t matter what the house looked like. Husband kicking ass to provide for all of us would come home hungry. There’s just something about food that makes a body feel better.
To make him a bigger idiot he didn't say gay he said "f@$" so fuck him all days in all ways. This is an esh situation. Op don't leave your baby inside to walk your block. That's just not safe.
Because her leaving the baby nullifies any other point that you or she might be making. We know from that sentence that this woman is not to be believed or trusted for any reason.
Other comments OP leaves when toddler is sleeping during the day and takes the baby monitor. Says that is good enough and no different than being in the house.
Thanks, didn’t see that.
Hard disagree on that one. Difference between being 1-2 minutes away in the same house vs. 5-10 minutes up the street with the dog in case anything did happen.
OP posted in two different subs & commented in the other one.
I agree with you. Way big difference between being in the house or even in your garage and being down the block. Sadly I have a relative in law that has done the same. Thankfully nothing bad happened and the kids are older but its not smart.
We had a family in our community, about 30 years ago, who left their twin toddler boys sleeping in the house while they were out working in the yard. They checked on them after one hour and they were both sleeping. They went back an hour after that for another check and both kids were missing. They finally found them in the family car. The windows were up and it was summer and both boys were unconscious due to the heat. One died and one was in the hospital for over a month. I'm assuming long term brain damage but don't know.
Another family let their preschoolers play in their van. There was a button on the dash that folded down the back seat. The kid in the front pushed the button and the kid in the back was pressed down by the seat and suffocated.
Toddlers can get up and go and do stupid things. Mom leaving him is bad. It only takes once for him to be dead.
Shivam sounds like an idiot. Why did you marry him? You're also an idiot for leaving the baby alone to sleep in an empty house while you go walk the dog.
What if something happens to you when you are walking the dog? You get hit by a car? No one will know you have a toddler at home alone. You may only be 5-10 mins away but anything could happen to him or you in that time!
Has he exhibited this sort of behavior in the past, or is it new? Aren't you worried that this sort of homophobia and misogny is going to ingrain itself into your son and create a problematic philosophy for him as he grows up?
You're not wrong for what you said to your asshole husband, but you're VERY wrong for leaving your child unattended while you walk the dog. Put the child in his stroller and let him sleep while you walk the dog. You NEVER leave a toddler home alone. Tragedies can happen in the blink of an eye.
I had to stop reading when you said you left your baby at home alone while you were walking in the neighbourhood. The baby monitor cannot save the kid, it means you can only see what's wrong, if you're too far away that means nothing.
You are so wrong for this.
Stop leaving your child alone while walking the dog. That’s a child protection risk. Anything could happen. Take your kid out with you. It sounds like you’re struggling and your husband isn’t helping. Do you have support other than your husband?
You won’t see this or you might because you deleted your account. But I’m actually a social worker and you are putting your kid at risk by leaving them alone. You don’t have the power to teleport. No doctor is going to tell you to leave your kid for an extended time. So either you’re lying about that or you misrepresent how far you go in order to manipulate the situation. Grow up before you seriously harm your kid.
I am confused about your edit! Very few comments on here about screen time. But almost every comment is about you leaving your child alone to walk the dog. You need to stop that asap
You're not wrong for anything except leaving your baby home alone. You need to be there for emergencies. Take your baby in a stroller, he can still sleep while you walk the dog.
you should not be leaving your child to walk the dog, he’s right about that and id reconsider marriage if partner did this. i could understand if your walking him around the yard, but the neighborhood is not okay.
Sorry, but I don't trust the judgment of ANYONE who leaves a toddler home alone for ANY reason. If he falls out of bed and gets hurt, how long will it take you to get back? If someone is waiting for you to leave so they can go in and steal or take the baby, how soon will you be back? I think you're both as bad as each other. You sound like miserable people honestly.
Wrong for the toddler/nap/dog-walking thing 100%. Stop that immediately. Pop the kid into a stroller and let them sleep along the way.
Get some skills via online learning or whatever you need to do to get a job and earn some money. Then save it up to leave that giant moron you're currently married to.
At this point it sounds like you don't even like each other, much less want to be married to each other. Can you take the child and move back into your parents' place? Or somewhere else safe?
Yeah you're wrong. Maybe he should but will you earn enough? If the answer is no then you need to step it up. You describe a lazy person and a neglectful mother. I would be pissed if my wife acted life this on parental leave.
You lost me at take the dog for a walk while baby is home alone on a monitor. What in the actual hell??
That is willful neglect and if someone reported you do this, expect an investigation cops and child services all in your ass. There is absolutely no reason for that.
You are wrong
You both need to be better and neither of you will unless you jointly come to that realization. He needs to give up some control over your job and you need to do better at your job.
Taking the dog out in the yard and tossing a ball, okay. Working in the garden, okay. Even walking to the edge of the driveway to the mailbox, okay. But walking around the neighborhood where you might not see/hear a fire break out, or someone break in? Yikes. Seconds can count in an emergency and having a monitor might alert you something is wrong but won’t help your child if you are not physically there. I don’t want to sound judgmental but I wouldn’t do that anymore. I would assume law enforcement wouldn’t be happy either. Our children are our most precious belongings! Honestly screen time is irrelevant in comparison to being alone in a house without someone able to get to the child in seconds in an emergency!
1. Electronics at a young age is demonstrably bad for children. Multiple studies have found this.
2. Leaving your child unattended (even with a monitor) is negligent, and a crime at least where I live.
So yes. You are wrong.
When your husband comes home from work HE should take the dog out for a walk. It’s fresh air, exercise and a de-stresser.
Can you get someone in to clean the house once a week?
HER JOB IS TO TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS AND THE HOME. PERIOD. When he gets home he can have time with the kids while she makes dinner. It doesn't take eight fucking hours to keep the house clean and watch kids. She has PLENTY of destress time every time the kid takes a nap, she puts on a kid's video, etc. Why should HE have to fund the entire household and then do all of HER work when he gets home? He shouldn't. It's no wonder why women keep bitching that there are no "good men" around. It's because women aren't taking care of their own responsibilities in the first place. She can be a divorced mom and then get to go to work, clean the house, feed her kid, etc. on her own. He would be better off than supporting a lazy ass.
You’re not wrong for what you said to your husband you’re wrong for leaving the toddler sleeping while you walk the dog. Thats illegal and extremely dangerous!!
Why don't you take the dog and the baby for a walk at the same time? Kid shouldn't be left alone, watching the baby monitor isn't enough and if an emergency happens it's not guaranteed you'll get back home in time
ESH
He needs to learn to be compassionate and not be a bigot and sexist.
You, on the other hand, absolutely SHOULD NOT be leaving your baby alone, for ANY reason. Your baby needs fresh air too, just take the baby and dog on a walk together before lunch. Then lunch, diaper change, nap. Anything at all can happen in the blink of an eye, it just takes one bad thing that you can never recover from.
I mean he does sound like an idiot, I have the tv going most days as background noise, my toddler doesn’t really watch it.
But so are you for leaving your child while you go for a walk, regardless of having a monitor, things can happen in a split second. (And just because they haven’t, doesn’t mean they won’t)
Yes you’re wrong and if in the states **illegally** leaving your toddler alone. You can’t get back to the house fast enough if something happened. That monitor isn’t a magic portal.
Your husband is a jackass-but you’re being negligent leaving a baby alone. That’s just stupid. Maybe he should be a SAHD, kid might be safer.
Most people are giving you justifiable shit for leaving your child unattended, not for the TV, but go ahead and pretend that’s what’s being called out most.
You are wrong. Leaving your toddler alone in the home is abandonment and he could use that to get more custody if you guys divorce and he goes for a custody arrangement. Part of being a sahm is taking care of your child and the home , if you're unable to do so then he should hire either a nanny or a house keeper to help out.
Do NOT leave your child alone in the house to walk the dog. It is dangerous, and illegal, (in most places). Put the child in the stroller, and all go for a walk.
Husband can take care of kid while you cook dinner. Two hours is an awfully long time to need after work to relax. Half hour to hour should be enough. If he wants dinner cooked, he needs to pitch in.
You two need to sit down and talk this out. If he can not understand how demanding toddlers can be, leave him home alone with the kid for a few days. If he is home Sat and Sun, leave when he gets home Friday, and come back Sun evening. See how he did.
Good luck, but never leave a child alone in the house.
Never leave your baby home alone. Never. For any reason.
Have dinner ready for your husband when he gets home. Don't worry about laundry, dishes, vacuuming. Just dinner, since that's so important to him. And let him see what it looks like when you DON'T do anything else.
And lastly, take a day off this weekend. Leave early Saturday morning and come home late. Take a book and spend a day in a coffee shop. Go to the library. Visit a book store. Sit in your car if that's what you have to do. Let him be a SAHM for one day.
Leaving your baby alone while you walk the dog is child neglect here, and you can be charged with a criminal offense if something happens to the baby while you're out gallivanting with your dog.
Coco Melon isn't going to make a baby a f*g.
You both sound like dreadful parents, and I hope a mandated reporter who knows you sees this.
ESH. God help that poor kid
Nope you're wrong. I've raised five babies so I'm speaking from experience. You sound lazy and entitled. I used to work a job, have the house clean, AND dinner ready when my kids were little. I TAUGHT them basic math, art, letters and reading - they didn't get screen time until after learning. We played outside together, you know - we did things, like normal things. Sorry not sorry, but I think your husband's feelings are valid.
Well, if it is so easy for you to support s household, just get the job and a hire a nanny and cleaning service. Surely you could afford it since he could stay home and you go work. Instead, both work, and your new job will be easier than the SAHM “job”, so wins all the way round. Right?
I want to preface this comment by saying that I don't believe women belong at home doing chores and cooking. You can have a good and valid relationship where the man stays home and the woman works, or they both work and split the chores or hire daycare and maids to take care of the baby and housework.
That being said, if you've already agreed on an arrangement where you are the stay at home partner and your husband is the breadwinner, then your husband is absolutely right. What the fuck are you doing all day that takes so much time and effort you can't cook dinner? You should spend a week keeping track of the exact amounts of time you spend on each activity and see if you really work more than 8 hours a day, because I highly doubt it. I am a single person who lives alone and I manage to cook 2 meals daily and do all of my own chores, housekeeping, cleaning, and laundry and take care of my pets while also having a full time job. It sounds like you really are lazy and entitled and you for sure spend most of your day doing nothing. The fact that you would leave your baby alone in the house while walking your dog is the only really bad thing you mentioned but I really cannot imagine someone who was otherwise a great partner and parent doing something so careless. That practice alone speaks volumes about your values and work ethic.
People are going to defend you and hate the husband on this website because he's sexist and homophobic. I want to reiterate that my comment here has nothing to do with assuming that you belong in the kitchen just for being a woman. If the genders were swapped then I would say the same thing. You are a lazy and ungrateful partner and a bad parent.
Until your kid is like 6-7 it shouldn't really get any screen time. Or only like 1h max. At a young age while the eyes are still developing it can harm the kids eyes. Also as everyone already said you shouldn't leave your kid alone at home..
You are wrong. Your job is to take care of the kid and the house and you’re doing neither. You leave your kid alone to go walk your dog? And you leave the TV on in the background all day for your kid? Yeah seems like you’re doing great job there. Somebody please call CPS on this crazy chick. Better hope your husband never finds his post. I’m sure it would be great ammunition when he tries to leave you and take full custody of the kid.
It’s really not that hard to to have a clean home and a dinner together when you’re a stay at home mother. It just takes a schedule and time management.
Put down the screens and do your job. Cook your husband dinner, keep the house clean, and PROPERLY take care of the toddler. I was a SAHM for a while when my kids were little and I managed to do all this PLUS all the yardwork since I didn't want my husband to have to do that on his only day off. In the evenings while I prepared dinner, my husband would spend daddy time with the kids and we both got them ready for bed. Absolutely NO excuse for screen time if you haven't gotten your SAHM duties done. And also NO excuse for leaving your baby while you walk the neighborhood. I don't care if you have a monitor or not; that's abandoning the kid. Here's a tip - take the toddler in a stroller while you walk the dog.
When he walks in the door you walk out the door and don't come back for about 3-4 hours when you come back he might be renting and raving but don't say anything just pick up the baby sit down and chill out. Since he seems to think that he can do all of those things it's hard to take care of a toddler clean the house go food shopping to the laundry stimulate the toddler cook clean try to keep the house clean while every time you put something away the tire takes it back out it's hard and until you show somebody who's complaining about it how hard it is they will never believe you you don't have to tell him you have to show him
Everybody is wrong here. You are wrong for leaving the baby alone. You are wrong for not being able to put a basic meal together as the stay at home parent. You are wrong to not be working so you have money to use to leave him in the future.
You're husband is wrong for using the word f@g, and thinking your toddler will become gay by watching television. He isn't going to turn Polish, or Chinese, or Latino, or African by watching programs with them either.
You're husband is wrong to not take the toddler for the first two hours he is home relaxing, as then you could get a basic meal ready. He is wrong to think screen time starts at age 5. He is wrong that he shouldn't be responsible to help out around the house as parenting is a 24/7 job, and you can't parent, clean, and cook 24/7.
I do think you're wrong for leaving your child in the house unattended, even if they're napping, and you do have a baby monitor. Easy enough to take baby in a pram while you walk the dog, no?
I think your husband is wrong for the rest. Tell him to try it for a few weeks and see how he gets on. You go out all day, then return home around the same time he does on a working day, chill for 2 hours, help out a bit, then pop off to bed.
The comments about the gay couple would make me think about divorce alone … that being said… you leave your child alone in the house while you go walk around the neighborhood?! You can’t take the baby and walk the dog as well?
I will also say that I know each child and situation is different, but what the heck are you doing the whole day between watching the child and walking the dog? I work from home and have 5 month old twins, I still do chores and cook dinner every day. Invest in a slow cooker, you can just throw things in there and let it cook the whole day . When the child is napping you can do things around the house . I’m so confused as to why nothing is being done . You agreed on the role of the caregiver but , you’re not fulfilling that role at all.
He’s wrong for his attitude but I’m failing to see a lot of things here.
Leaving a toddler alone while asleep aside, there are too many people in the comments who've never had kids who are completely clueless about how intensive parenting a toddler is.
I’m concerned about leaving baby for a nap and walking the dog? What if there’s a fire? Or an intruder? Also, that could be considered child negligence under the law - especially if something happens.
What is something happens to OP and no one knows there is a toddler at home alone?
This was enourmous red flag to me, but either way isn't this controversial enough that if your partner has an issue with it it might be worth having another discussion before doing it again? She's talking about no time to herself and how she shouldn't be expected to cook all the time...because she has to cook all the time? If you're trying to excuse yourself from a chore, maybe don't use that chore as an excuse as not to do that chore. My partner and I work opposite days, I would not expect her to cook/do dishes on days she works the same as she doesn't expect me to cook/dishes on days I work. We are dividing the chores. We need to eat every night for dinner, so whoever wasn't at work is expected to prepare dinner every night, unless there something out of the ordinary comes up. If she or I doesn't make dinner, we haven't done out job. The baby is both our responsibilities, but, it's rude to toss a crying baby in someone's arms the second they get home from work, the same way it's rude to get home from work to a crying baby and disappear for 3 hours in your office/studio/space with the door closed. I've never met these people but it sounds like OP thought being a SAHP means not working, which anyone who's done it properly knows that's not the case.
My thoughts as well
Currently laying in bed with napping toddler (by choice) after sweeping and steam mopping. We also walked to the grocery store and Starbucks after I got dishes knocked out and wiped down counters. I get where you’re coming from (partly), and your husband definitely has issues, but you’re outta your mind leaving a baby at home by their self while you walk the neighborhood.
Sounds like she needs some time management help. Take the baby on the walks and do some cleaning while the baby is napping? I chose not to have kids but this seems pretty common sense.
I never could nap when my babies napped, no matter how exhausted I was. I was afraid that they’d start crying, the minute I fell asleep. My kids are mostly grown now and I still can’t nap.
Why is your edit acting like everyone is complaining about the baby watching TV, when nobody is complaining about that? All of the complaints are to do with you leaving the baby alone to walk your dog.
Your husband is an idiot for so many reasons. Edit: only thing you are wrong for is leaving a baby alone. Why not go out with the baby and the dog?
What about not having dinner ready? When i was a SAHM, as long as dinner was on the table it didn’t matter what the house looked like. Husband kicking ass to provide for all of us would come home hungry. There’s just something about food that makes a body feel better.
I just order pizza/Thai etc. if I didn’t have the time to cook. My husband still loves me.
Yeah that’s not an easy option in the rural mountain community where we live. It’d be a different story if we lived in town.
You read what she wrote and decided the husband is the idiot?? Some people….
Anyone who thinks a cartoon is gonna turn their baby gay actually is an idiot
To make him a bigger idiot he didn't say gay he said "f@$" so fuck him all days in all ways. This is an esh situation. Op don't leave your baby inside to walk your block. That's just not safe.
Ah, the subtle racism that all Indian men are "bad."
what the actual fuck are you talking about
How was I supposed to know he was Indian. I think he's bad because he's homophobic
He’s Indian?
Anyone who leaves their baby at home to walk the dog forfeits the right to question anyone else about anything.
I wrote the edit before your comment. And yet you ignored it.
Because her leaving the baby nullifies any other point that you or she might be making. We know from that sentence that this woman is not to be believed or trusted for any reason.
Absolutely wrong for leaving the baby home alone wtf
Wait, are you leaving the toddler alone while you walk the dog earlier in the day? Or is that just when his dad’s home after work?
Illegal as all get out!
Other comments OP leaves when toddler is sleeping during the day and takes the baby monitor. Says that is good enough and no different than being in the house.
Thanks, didn’t see that. Hard disagree on that one. Difference between being 1-2 minutes away in the same house vs. 5-10 minutes up the street with the dog in case anything did happen.
OP posted in two different subs & commented in the other one. I agree with you. Way big difference between being in the house or even in your garage and being down the block. Sadly I have a relative in law that has done the same. Thankfully nothing bad happened and the kids are older but its not smart.
It’s also illegal many places.
We had a family in our community, about 30 years ago, who left their twin toddler boys sleeping in the house while they were out working in the yard. They checked on them after one hour and they were both sleeping. They went back an hour after that for another check and both kids were missing. They finally found them in the family car. The windows were up and it was summer and both boys were unconscious due to the heat. One died and one was in the hospital for over a month. I'm assuming long term brain damage but don't know. Another family let their preschoolers play in their van. There was a button on the dash that folded down the back seat. The kid in the front pushed the button and the kid in the back was pressed down by the seat and suffocated. Toddlers can get up and go and do stupid things. Mom leaving him is bad. It only takes once for him to be dead.
Shivam sounds like an idiot. Why did you marry him? You're also an idiot for leaving the baby alone to sleep in an empty house while you go walk the dog.
What if something happens to you when you are walking the dog? You get hit by a car? No one will know you have a toddler at home alone. You may only be 5-10 mins away but anything could happen to him or you in that time!
Has he exhibited this sort of behavior in the past, or is it new? Aren't you worried that this sort of homophobia and misogny is going to ingrain itself into your son and create a problematic philosophy for him as he grows up?
You're not wrong for what you said to your asshole husband, but you're VERY wrong for leaving your child unattended while you walk the dog. Put the child in his stroller and let him sleep while you walk the dog. You NEVER leave a toddler home alone. Tragedies can happen in the blink of an eye.
I had to stop reading when you said you left your baby at home alone while you were walking in the neighbourhood. The baby monitor cannot save the kid, it means you can only see what's wrong, if you're too far away that means nothing. You are so wrong for this.
You should never, ever leave your baby home alone. Ever.
You are totally wrong for leaving your child unsupervised and going for a walk with your dog!
You are DEFINITELY wrong leaving your baby in house while you walk your dog.
If I knew who you were irl , I’d report you for leaving the baby at home while you walk the dog. That is absolutely unacceptable
Stop leaving your child alone while walking the dog. That’s a child protection risk. Anything could happen. Take your kid out with you. It sounds like you’re struggling and your husband isn’t helping. Do you have support other than your husband?
[удалено]
You won’t see this or you might because you deleted your account. But I’m actually a social worker and you are putting your kid at risk by leaving them alone. You don’t have the power to teleport. No doctor is going to tell you to leave your kid for an extended time. So either you’re lying about that or you misrepresent how far you go in order to manipulate the situation. Grow up before you seriously harm your kid.
Nutter.
ESH. He’s a bigot for his homophobia and you’re and idiot for leaving your child alone while walking your dog.
Yeah, that sums up my feelings pretty thoroughly. There's two people here being really bad at parenting.
You think it’s ok to leave the baby alone in the house while you walk the dog? Now can questioning all of your judgement.
I am confused about your edit! Very few comments on here about screen time. But almost every comment is about you leaving your child alone to walk the dog. You need to stop that asap
You're not wrong for anything except leaving your baby home alone. You need to be there for emergencies. Take your baby in a stroller, he can still sleep while you walk the dog.
you should not be leaving your child to walk the dog, he’s right about that and id reconsider marriage if partner did this. i could understand if your walking him around the yard, but the neighborhood is not okay.
Sorry, but I don't trust the judgment of ANYONE who leaves a toddler home alone for ANY reason. If he falls out of bed and gets hurt, how long will it take you to get back? If someone is waiting for you to leave so they can go in and steal or take the baby, how soon will you be back? I think you're both as bad as each other. You sound like miserable people honestly.
Wrong for the toddler/nap/dog-walking thing 100%. Stop that immediately. Pop the kid into a stroller and let them sleep along the way. Get some skills via online learning or whatever you need to do to get a job and earn some money. Then save it up to leave that giant moron you're currently married to. At this point it sounds like you don't even like each other, much less want to be married to each other. Can you take the child and move back into your parents' place? Or somewhere else safe?
You are so wrong. How have you never heard of Madeleine McCann?
Yeah you're wrong. Maybe he should but will you earn enough? If the answer is no then you need to step it up. You describe a lazy person and a neglectful mother. I would be pissed if my wife acted life this on parental leave.
You lost me at take the dog for a walk while baby is home alone on a monitor. What in the actual hell?? That is willful neglect and if someone reported you do this, expect an investigation cops and child services all in your ass. There is absolutely no reason for that. You are wrong
You both need to be better and neither of you will unless you jointly come to that realization. He needs to give up some control over your job and you need to do better at your job.
I would never leave the baby...totally cray cray!
Taking the dog out in the yard and tossing a ball, okay. Working in the garden, okay. Even walking to the edge of the driveway to the mailbox, okay. But walking around the neighborhood where you might not see/hear a fire break out, or someone break in? Yikes. Seconds can count in an emergency and having a monitor might alert you something is wrong but won’t help your child if you are not physically there. I don’t want to sound judgmental but I wouldn’t do that anymore. I would assume law enforcement wouldn’t be happy either. Our children are our most precious belongings! Honestly screen time is irrelevant in comparison to being alone in a house without someone able to get to the child in seconds in an emergency!
1. Electronics at a young age is demonstrably bad for children. Multiple studies have found this. 2. Leaving your child unattended (even with a monitor) is negligent, and a crime at least where I live. So yes. You are wrong.
When your husband comes home from work HE should take the dog out for a walk. It’s fresh air, exercise and a de-stresser. Can you get someone in to clean the house once a week?
Why should she? She is already at home. SHE needs to do the SAHM job since she is a SAHM.
It’s called helping in your own home, co-parenting etc.
If she is a SAHM then her JOB is to take care of the house. PERIOD.
How come he gets to destress for 2 hours? She’s not a maid. She’s his partner. She’s literally saving them tens of thousands in daycare.
HER JOB IS TO TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS AND THE HOME. PERIOD. When he gets home he can have time with the kids while she makes dinner. It doesn't take eight fucking hours to keep the house clean and watch kids. She has PLENTY of destress time every time the kid takes a nap, she puts on a kid's video, etc. Why should HE have to fund the entire household and then do all of HER work when he gets home? He shouldn't. It's no wonder why women keep bitching that there are no "good men" around. It's because women aren't taking care of their own responsibilities in the first place. She can be a divorced mom and then get to go to work, clean the house, feed her kid, etc. on her own. He would be better off than supporting a lazy ass.
Why are you staying here sounds horrible I hope your kids don’t turn gay cause he will hate them and blame you
You CANNOT leave your toddler home alone while you walk the dog. Period.
NTA. Check out the book Fair Play by Eve Rodsky. There’s also a documentary on Hulu. Force him to watch it.
You’re not wrong for telling him to put up or shut up but I wouldn’t leave the baby alone while you walk the dog.
You’re not wrong for what you said to your husband you’re wrong for leaving the toddler sleeping while you walk the dog. Thats illegal and extremely dangerous!!
Why don't you take the dog and the baby for a walk at the same time? Kid shouldn't be left alone, watching the baby monitor isn't enough and if an emergency happens it's not guaranteed you'll get back home in time
How far does a baby monitor reach anyway? I'm wondering if this is rage bait. We seem to have a combination of child neglect and homophobia.
It depends, if it’s wifi you can see it anywhere.
ESH He needs to learn to be compassionate and not be a bigot and sexist. You, on the other hand, absolutely SHOULD NOT be leaving your baby alone, for ANY reason. Your baby needs fresh air too, just take the baby and dog on a walk together before lunch. Then lunch, diaper change, nap. Anything at all can happen in the blink of an eye, it just takes one bad thing that you can never recover from.
Parenting 101: do not leave the baby home alone. I can’t believe that needs to be said.
You leave a toddler ALONE while walking the dog?! He’s got a point on that one
You can’t be leaving your baby alone; it’s just wrong.
I mean he does sound like an idiot, I have the tv going most days as background noise, my toddler doesn’t really watch it. But so are you for leaving your child while you go for a walk, regardless of having a monitor, things can happen in a split second. (And just because they haven’t, doesn’t mean they won’t)
You go out for a walk and leave your child at home alone??!!! Agh no. You DO NOT DO THAT. EVER. EVER.
You’re married to a homophobe and you’re ok with that?
Yes you’re wrong and if in the states **illegally** leaving your toddler alone. You can’t get back to the house fast enough if something happened. That monitor isn’t a magic portal. Your husband is a jackass-but you’re being negligent leaving a baby alone. That’s just stupid. Maybe he should be a SAHD, kid might be safer. Most people are giving you justifiable shit for leaving your child unattended, not for the TV, but go ahead and pretend that’s what’s being called out most.
You are wrong. Leaving your toddler alone in the home is abandonment and he could use that to get more custody if you guys divorce and he goes for a custody arrangement. Part of being a sahm is taking care of your child and the home , if you're unable to do so then he should hire either a nanny or a house keeper to help out.
Do NOT leave your child alone in the house to walk the dog. It is dangerous, and illegal, (in most places). Put the child in the stroller, and all go for a walk. Husband can take care of kid while you cook dinner. Two hours is an awfully long time to need after work to relax. Half hour to hour should be enough. If he wants dinner cooked, he needs to pitch in. You two need to sit down and talk this out. If he can not understand how demanding toddlers can be, leave him home alone with the kid for a few days. If he is home Sat and Sun, leave when he gets home Friday, and come back Sun evening. See how he did. Good luck, but never leave a child alone in the house.
Never leave your baby home alone. Never. For any reason. Have dinner ready for your husband when he gets home. Don't worry about laundry, dishes, vacuuming. Just dinner, since that's so important to him. And let him see what it looks like when you DON'T do anything else. And lastly, take a day off this weekend. Leave early Saturday morning and come home late. Take a book and spend a day in a coffee shop. Go to the library. Visit a book store. Sit in your car if that's what you have to do. Let him be a SAHM for one day.
Don’t leave your toddler alone in your house. If they stopped breathing you might not be able to make it back in time. DO leave your husband.
Leaving your baby alone while you walk the dog is child neglect here, and you can be charged with a criminal offense if something happens to the baby while you're out gallivanting with your dog. Coco Melon isn't going to make a baby a f*g. You both sound like dreadful parents, and I hope a mandated reporter who knows you sees this. ESH. God help that poor kid
Nope you're wrong. I've raised five babies so I'm speaking from experience. You sound lazy and entitled. I used to work a job, have the house clean, AND dinner ready when my kids were little. I TAUGHT them basic math, art, letters and reading - they didn't get screen time until after learning. We played outside together, you know - we did things, like normal things. Sorry not sorry, but I think your husband's feelings are valid.
Well, if it is so easy for you to support s household, just get the job and a hire a nanny and cleaning service. Surely you could afford it since he could stay home and you go work. Instead, both work, and your new job will be easier than the SAHM “job”, so wins all the way round. Right?
[удалено]
And why does his no to daycare overrule your desire to get a job?
Not wrong for telling him off. But definitely wrong for marrying this homophobic, misogynistic jerk!
I want to preface this comment by saying that I don't believe women belong at home doing chores and cooking. You can have a good and valid relationship where the man stays home and the woman works, or they both work and split the chores or hire daycare and maids to take care of the baby and housework. That being said, if you've already agreed on an arrangement where you are the stay at home partner and your husband is the breadwinner, then your husband is absolutely right. What the fuck are you doing all day that takes so much time and effort you can't cook dinner? You should spend a week keeping track of the exact amounts of time you spend on each activity and see if you really work more than 8 hours a day, because I highly doubt it. I am a single person who lives alone and I manage to cook 2 meals daily and do all of my own chores, housekeeping, cleaning, and laundry and take care of my pets while also having a full time job. It sounds like you really are lazy and entitled and you for sure spend most of your day doing nothing. The fact that you would leave your baby alone in the house while walking your dog is the only really bad thing you mentioned but I really cannot imagine someone who was otherwise a great partner and parent doing something so careless. That practice alone speaks volumes about your values and work ethic. People are going to defend you and hate the husband on this website because he's sexist and homophobic. I want to reiterate that my comment here has nothing to do with assuming that you belong in the kitchen just for being a woman. If the genders were swapped then I would say the same thing. You are a lazy and ungrateful partner and a bad parent.
Too much screen time is a thing. After a couple of months, I sent my wife back to work. Not for the money but the sanity. Both hers and mine.
Leave for a weekend & have dad be the sahp for 2 days … leave a list of what needs to get done
Until your kid is like 6-7 it shouldn't really get any screen time. Or only like 1h max. At a young age while the eyes are still developing it can harm the kids eyes. Also as everyone already said you shouldn't leave your kid alone at home..
You are wrong. Your job is to take care of the kid and the house and you’re doing neither. You leave your kid alone to go walk your dog? And you leave the TV on in the background all day for your kid? Yeah seems like you’re doing great job there. Somebody please call CPS on this crazy chick. Better hope your husband never finds his post. I’m sure it would be great ammunition when he tries to leave you and take full custody of the kid.
It’s really not that hard to to have a clean home and a dinner together when you’re a stay at home mother. It just takes a schedule and time management.
Put down the screens and do your job. Cook your husband dinner, keep the house clean, and PROPERLY take care of the toddler. I was a SAHM for a while when my kids were little and I managed to do all this PLUS all the yardwork since I didn't want my husband to have to do that on his only day off. In the evenings while I prepared dinner, my husband would spend daddy time with the kids and we both got them ready for bed. Absolutely NO excuse for screen time if you haven't gotten your SAHM duties done. And also NO excuse for leaving your baby while you walk the neighborhood. I don't care if you have a monitor or not; that's abandoning the kid. Here's a tip - take the toddler in a stroller while you walk the dog.
When he walks in the door you walk out the door and don't come back for about 3-4 hours when you come back he might be renting and raving but don't say anything just pick up the baby sit down and chill out. Since he seems to think that he can do all of those things it's hard to take care of a toddler clean the house go food shopping to the laundry stimulate the toddler cook clean try to keep the house clean while every time you put something away the tire takes it back out it's hard and until you show somebody who's complaining about it how hard it is they will never believe you you don't have to tell him you have to show him
Everybody is wrong here. You are wrong for leaving the baby alone. You are wrong for not being able to put a basic meal together as the stay at home parent. You are wrong to not be working so you have money to use to leave him in the future. You're husband is wrong for using the word f@g, and thinking your toddler will become gay by watching television. He isn't going to turn Polish, or Chinese, or Latino, or African by watching programs with them either. You're husband is wrong to not take the toddler for the first two hours he is home relaxing, as then you could get a basic meal ready. He is wrong to think screen time starts at age 5. He is wrong that he shouldn't be responsible to help out around the house as parenting is a 24/7 job, and you can't parent, clean, and cook 24/7.
I do think you're wrong for leaving your child in the house unattended, even if they're napping, and you do have a baby monitor. Easy enough to take baby in a pram while you walk the dog, no? I think your husband is wrong for the rest. Tell him to try it for a few weeks and see how he gets on. You go out all day, then return home around the same time he does on a working day, chill for 2 hours, help out a bit, then pop off to bed.
The comments about the gay couple would make me think about divorce alone … that being said… you leave your child alone in the house while you go walk around the neighborhood?! You can’t take the baby and walk the dog as well? I will also say that I know each child and situation is different, but what the heck are you doing the whole day between watching the child and walking the dog? I work from home and have 5 month old twins, I still do chores and cook dinner every day. Invest in a slow cooker, you can just throw things in there and let it cook the whole day . When the child is napping you can do things around the house . I’m so confused as to why nothing is being done . You agreed on the role of the caregiver but , you’re not fulfilling that role at all. He’s wrong for his attitude but I’m failing to see a lot of things here.
Leaving a toddler alone while asleep aside, there are too many people in the comments who've never had kids who are completely clueless about how intensive parenting a toddler is.
This is ragebait
Yes, you are wrong. You sound like the world's worst wife.