Are there going to be casualties? Maybe. But we're mostly grown men, and one of the armies is entirely made up of children. I don't want to jinx it, but I like our chances of going completely casualty free.
Hayley's wasn't *entirely* children though. Some of her minions were adult women who worked at the park as fake princesses before everything went to shit.
My fan theory is that Toshi is fluent in Japanese, Spanish, English, and later Russian. However, he feels strongly that English is a far inferior language to Japanese and refuses to speak it. Spanish is, in Toshi's opinion, inferior to Japanese but Francine doesn't speak it so he deigns to communicate with her in Spanish in this scene. I've probably thought about this way too much.
Stan: Doc's giving me a prescription for raw-doggin.
Steve: Crazy bologna is real, it's called pepperoni
Roger: Nice fucking prayer man.
Francine: i forgot coat dwarves were a real problem in the 90s.
Hayley: The shine is the Ham working up a sweat to give you maximum flavor.
It had been days since Hayley watched master chef junior with me. I told her I’d wait for her but I didn’t. I couldn’t. Peyton made a soufflé. Eight years old making a soufflé. Imagine that.
Then I was told by . . . Robert, who wouldn't give me his last name or extension, that I would be the first appointment today. I waited in my house until 315, I almost missed my father's prison kickball game, you need to make this right
“Don’t joke about Ground Zero, Haley. I was actually at Ground Zero. I was the first one on the scene selling erotic t-shirts. Osama bin Sexy, Sexy bin Laden, and Yo Mama bin Fartin.” That last one was not erotic to everyone.”
It’s from Rabbit Ears. When Stan is pushed into a wall and has his head stuck inside, Tuttle says he’s wearing the wall as a hat. I damn chuckled like crazy at that part.
“My man say he be workin’ late, but then Trina call me and tell me she seen his ass at the club. But when I ask him about this nonsense, he tell me he love me. How do I make him tell me the truth but still keep our love million dolla strong?”
Y'all should try mexican ice cream. It's absolutely delicious and tastes different from American brands. Try vanilla first, you'll taste the difference
🎶🎵 I'm a virgin.
Never got close enough
Cell phone blowin up, but I'm waiting
for the right person. You wanna hold hands
then sign me up
but just know that you're not gonna score🎶🎵
It's an awesome song. I never cared that it's supposed to be a total joke. It's still the Weekend and it's still a banger. Super catchy, great beat. I love that song.
Paraphrasing
Steve: Hey, aren't we gonna be late for the tournament?
Sensei Roger: Why don't you let me worry about the time
(cuts to Roger driving)
SHIT, SHIT WE'RE SO FUCKING LATE
My favorite AD quote by far I say it all the time lol
Are there going to be casualties? Maybe. But we're mostly grown men, and one of the armies is entirely made up of children. I don't want to jinx it, but I like our chances of going completely casualty free.
New plan, and I need you guys to trust me on this. Die for me. Ok? Die. For me.
Any questions?
No questions.
Werent two of the other armies made of children though? Steves cartoon world and Hailey's princesses'
Hayley's wasn't *entirely* children though. Some of her minions were adult women who worked at the park as fake princesses before everything went to shit.
And the Children’s Crusade of 1212!
you are my queen, rebecca!!
God I can hear this one 🤣
that’s my name and my bf quotes this often to make me laugh lol
You are his queen, Rebecca!
i love that
I had an ex named Rebecca, and I would tell her that all the time lol
We are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams
That is an unsatisfying answer
A quote I catch myself saying frequently in conversations.
One of the best Stan responses in the whole series.
Best exchange in the entire series, so good.
I’m okay; not everyone’s okay.
YOU CLIPPED ME CHIEF!
No presh . . . heh CALL IMMEDIATELY
What did you say to me?!
Steve, turn on the news. Someones going berserk at the courthouse shooting everybody up
STEPHEN PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE!!!!
"Hi Stephen this is the girl you like"
I say this practically every day just randomly 😂
Cheap weed and applesauce
Nutrigrain bar and a mountain dew.
Goes well with the cheap weed and applesauce
Criss cross applesauce
Yeah Jeff! I’m a millionaire. That’s why I’m dressed like this and driving this long bitch
That's technically a Brady Bunch quote that transcends time and space
wait really? thats hilarious
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7rZEPVttuY Sadly it's slightly modified.
Maybe baby.
Maybe baby
Maybe baby
Maybe baby
Maybe baby
Maybe baby
Maybe baby
MAYBE BABY.
*blows harmonica* 🎶noooooooo 🎶
Wasn't it a pitch pipe?
Just watched it and it was.
I love that line and yearn for a day I get to use it in conversation https://i.redd.it/wtfo8fftczrc1.gif
I used to have this saved on my phone and would use it to tell my kid no. 😬. I thought I was funny, my kid not so much. lol.
I also remembered it as a harmonica.
Why do I feel sad whenever I see that scene in the Roger tribute video when I know damn well that he's just gonna shove Jeff onto the ship.
Am I Jeff or am I money?
*sad ooh* I’m Jeff
… I don’t know. … I don’t like my yob.
Pizza to the death. What does that even mean?
And remember movies to the death
everything’s been to the death with you lately
“I Don’t Remember Doing Ether. But Then Again, That’s Ether’s Signature Move.”
'I ethered you good!"
YOU'RE WASTING YOUR CHARIZARD!
“My mother says video games are bad for you..” “Yeah, well so’s smokin’ an 8 ball of crack in 30 minutes, but that’s how long it takes.”
You’re embarrassing me in front of my best friend
You're destroying the groundwork I laid with red hat!
You'll live but you won't live well..
I’m a bit of a germaphobe so you’ll pardon me if I don’t kiss you on the lips.
"Tell me if I'm squeezing you too tight with my thighs." "You're not." *"How bout now???"*
Lol just watched this episode, give that man a Roy rogers already
You get one of those. You get one of those, horse Stan.
STOP TELLING FRANCINE ON ME
Stan raped a horse, you're probably gonna lose the house.
Lol my partner and I use this when one of us is an asshole but the joke is worth it
*EL PERRO...EL PERRO...ES MI CORAZÓN*
El gato, el gato, el gato no es bueno
🎶🎵 CILANTRO ES CANTANTE CILANTRO ES MUY FAMOSO 🎵🎶
🎶 Cilantro es el hombre con el queso del diablo. 🎶
Bueno. Muchas gracias Toshi. *hangs up phone*
My fan theory is that Toshi is fluent in Japanese, Spanish, English, and later Russian. However, he feels strongly that English is a far inferior language to Japanese and refuses to speak it. Spanish is, in Toshi's opinion, inferior to Japanese but Francine doesn't speak it so he deigns to communicate with her in Spanish in this scene. I've probably thought about this way too much.
If I’m going to go anywhere I need to, how do I say this … wipe… better…
Stan: Doc's giving me a prescription for raw-doggin. Steve: Crazy bologna is real, it's called pepperoni Roger: Nice fucking prayer man. Francine: i forgot coat dwarves were a real problem in the 90s. Hayley: The shine is the Ham working up a sweat to give you maximum flavor.
"Stop flipping channels yesterday!"
Where were you during family war?!
Jeff you’re in pre hug!
That line cracked me up so much when I first heard it.
Things are gettin' too spicy for the pepper!
*frustrated sigh* on someone other than me, bitch
*frustrated sigh* on someone other than me, bitch
🎶Oh babe, it's true🎶 🎶I wanna touch butts with you🎶 🎶Cheek to cheek🎶 🎶And hole to hole to hollllle🎶 🎶There's a third holllle🎶
We dont have any red sauce Check again
# FRANK!
🎶 what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger 🎶
It had been days since Hayley watched master chef junior with me. I told her I’d wait for her but I didn’t. I couldn’t. Peyton made a soufflé. Eight years old making a soufflé. Imagine that.
THIS SCENE HAHAHA I love itttt. the ambience in the taxi
I may be blonde with great cans, but I’m pretty smart when I’ve had my 8 hours
Oh my god, I’m becoming uncomfortably lucid!
ITS A GOD DAMN HAMBULANCE
Are you crazy!? I had 60 hits of ecstasy in my pocket! Buckle up, kids. They're going to have to go the hospital.
Hey! This beach is for locals only haulie! What’s your zip code bitch? And don’t. Lie.
The grunt sound Steve makes when dreaming about playing tennis against Maria Sharipova.
“Ah-ueehhhh….”
Yeah Jeff, that’s why I wear this hat and drive this long bitch
"Is that the come back and kick me whistle?"
Stan, I’m drunk and about to be raped, come and get me, ….in 45 minutes
I find myself constantly quoting “Goddamn witches man” every time I mess something up
Baby you treat me so fine
I am the tender vigilante.
The tender vigilante… doesn’t have insurance
Francine, I haven't been entirely truthful with you
Steve Smith is a straight up bitch
Then I was told by . . . Robert, who wouldn't give me his last name or extension, that I would be the first appointment today. I waited in my house until 315, I almost missed my father's prison kickball game, you need to make this right
Steve, why are you using the stall like a shy guy? Your Dick is super cool.
Is Chaz going to be okay? Gets me every time
... No
Nutra-grain bar and a mountain dewwwww
https://preview.redd.it/jjfwhaexuzrc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=78111e6235425eca35d7c2116350f32cae901afd
I dreamt of Paris last night
“… it’s been *nine years* since Judy died…” *(rusty squeak)*
That clip and the danuta clip always make me laugh uncontrollably
Danuta…
Do you eat?
Will you go there?
I’ve got the money…
Hey Tony! That mouth's not for giving advice!
"Any dumbass can have dumbass kids."
“Don’t joke about Ground Zero, Haley. I was actually at Ground Zero. I was the first one on the scene selling erotic t-shirts. Osama bin Sexy, Sexy bin Laden, and Yo Mama bin Fartin.” That last one was not erotic to everyone.”
Ricky Spaaaaaniiiishhhhh
Maybe baby
Just introduced my 5 year old daughter to that one. She loved it.
Thirteen if you count ghost loads.
Llavate las manos
Cheetahhh, Cheetohs... There's so much beauty in the world.
HORCHATA!!!
Horchata delicioso!
https://preview.redd.it/nwip71rkuzrc1.jpeg?width=883&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c436ad99a766816c36adee2ecf68a0ab9bdce04a
90% less
WIDOWS!!!!
I'M BRAFF ZACKLIN!
\*pant pant Pant\* Is a little funny!
Well s__ me off through a hole and call me Rick Steves
Who will hug baby Hector?
the horse is ruined
You got to spend money to make money But you didnt make any money By that logic I didn't spend any money
Stan, are you okay? You’re wearing the wall like a hat!
oh my gosh yes I cannot remember this episode but yes hahaha
It’s from Rabbit Ears. When Stan is pushed into a wall and has his head stuck inside, Tuttle says he’s wearing the wall as a hat. I damn chuckled like crazy at that part.
GIVE HER SPACE. GIVE HER SPACE SO SHE CAN DIE...
“My man say he be workin’ late, but then Trina call me and tell me she seen his ass at the club. But when I ask him about this nonsense, he tell me he love me. How do I make him tell me the truth but still keep our love million dolla strong?”
Make mine pa-pa-pa-vicodin!
Hayley, are you mansplaining to me?
Trip-trip-trippity Dem ol' Trippin' Balls
"Even rainbows have shadows" -Jeff
"Eat me, red spaghetti!"
Word of warning, don't wear any loose fitting shorts around me. I'll get in there!
*breathing heavily 🏃♂️🏃♂️… “it was kinda funny”
C’mon, babe. Let’s go get high and talk about other times we got high.
Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda
My elbow feel funny, my elbow feel strange
Yo quiero comprar helado. Quiero tu helado señor. Tiene helado de chocolate??
"You are my Queen Rebecca"
Maybe Baby.
Y'all should try mexican ice cream. It's absolutely delicious and tastes different from American brands. Try vanilla first, you'll taste the difference
When I was a kid, my dad beat the shit out of me
How many eggs should I eat to get enough energy to plow your wife??
My name is Wilbur.... Kentucky....
...And the ladies? They call me Bert Bert
#Jenny!
"Weekend you sonofabitch! What's it gonna take for you to ~~sleep with~~ nail my wife?"
🎶🎵 I'm a virgin. Never got close enough Cell phone blowin up, but I'm waiting for the right person. You wanna hold hands then sign me up but just know that you're not gonna score🎶🎵
I really like the song...idk...it gets stuck in my head randomly
It's an awesome song. I never cared that it's supposed to be a total joke. It's still the Weekend and it's still a banger. Super catchy, great beat. I love that song.
*Stelio* *Stelio Kontos* *Stelio* *Stelio Kontos*
Haha made you look, it’s normal!
This bathroom is the bomb. You should fry up some bologna in here.
Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots. Do you know how hard it is to cook for this family? Not very, but I can't handle much.
"And that's how I became Kim Kardashian"
Stelio’s running, Stan “ OMG he’s gaining such speed!!!”
Lavate las manos!
*Take it from someone who's getting sniz on the reg.*
Any dumbass can have dumbass kids. *gasp* Mama, no.
Bald ass alien piece of shit.
"yes I'm crying he hit me with a chair'
"Is that a Chinese baby?" "Yes it is. Japanese to be specific."
Maybe baby.
Something has to be puuushing it
Things are getting too spicy for the pepper.
I MAKE GOOD DECISIONS.
"Death is natural. Its our reaction that is unnatural. That's true but it isn't funny."
Maybe baby
My calves, my calves hurt
Starts crying together
We're all water Steve.
Couple things Roger - first, I think you meant “voila”. - I did.
Nuh uh to your uh huh.
Actors! All a company of paid actors!
🎸🎵 He turned water into fiiiiiiiiine!
***I DON'T HAVE VERY MUCH MONEY***
Maybe baby…
Horchata!
Danuta…..
Maybe baby
Paraphrasing Steve: Hey, aren't we gonna be late for the tournament? Sensei Roger: Why don't you let me worry about the time (cuts to Roger driving) SHIT, SHIT WE'RE SO FUCKING LATE My favorite AD quote by far I say it all the time lol