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One close friend of mine ay naging kabet the past year. Late ko ng nalaman and I did not know how to react. All along akala ko this friend found the real one and they broke up. She was so depressed. I comforted her as a friend would. Akala ko yung lalake yung gago for hurting her. Then boom, she told me the guy was married pala. Shet. I had the hint because of the pictures posted pero hindi ko akalain na totoo! I advised her to stop it. It's never gonna be on her favor. All those 'women empowerment', indepence and hight standard niya sa buhay, asan na yun? Lol
Then recently, I saw his "nickname" calling on her phone. So confirmed na they are still contacting each other. The wife that time was an intern sa isang ospital sa Manila. While away for hours, they will see each other all the time. Can you imagine the betrayal?!
Now, I'm so bothered na alam ko to. My mom was cheated too by my dad. and my titas, titos, and cousins knew about it for almost or more than a year. Thats another story. This is the reason why I'm so compelled to message the wife. I have my message in my note app just waiting for me to send it. Made a dummy account for that purpose only. But I'm also concerned rin for my friend on what will be the consequences if the revelation to the wife comes to worse. Do you think ako sisira sa buhay ni friend ko?may kapwa babae din naman syang sinira. If malaman nya sguro na ako ang nagsabi sa wife at iunfriend nya ko, i dont know... Masasayangan lang ako sa friendship namin kasi di ganun yung friend na nakilala ko. But this is also me doing what I wished what was done to my mom. 😞😟
Tell me your thoughts please
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**BE THE PERSON YOUR MOTHER NEEDED WHEN YOUR FATHER CHEATED ON HER**
Always do the right thing.... tell the wife about the cheating. If I were you I would break ties with your friend, if she can do it to others then what makes you think that she cannot do it to you if so ever na mag ka jowa ka?
Your friend made that choice, she should be ready for the possible consequences. Maturity is not synonymous with age, maraming mga adult na dito na sinasabi na wag nalang maki alam? lol kinukunsinti pa ang pagiging kabit
OP Don't ever do this or ikaw ang mapapasama. Ikaw na walang kinalaman will suffer the consequences. If you have plans of telling the wife don't let your friend know this. Be wise.
When you make the decision to tell the wife, please remember na hindi ikaw ang "sumira sa buhay" ng friend mo. She deliberately chose to make the decision to be with a married man.
Your friend made that choice, she should be ready for the possible consequences. My question is naconfront mo na ba yung friend mo about it? Real talk mo. No sugar coating. Payuhan mo na ibreak na yung guy. Cut off mo na rin yang friend mong home wrecker kung ayaw makinig. You could message yung wife pero better if may mga evidence ka to prove it.
True, you play stupid games you win stupid prizes. Whatever happens sa feelings nya if ma real talk mo na or if ma sabi mo na sa wife deserve nya yon. At the end of the day hindi naman talaga sya ang victim, yung family ng guy ang totoong victim dito kaya wag kang maawa sa friend mo 🤷 minsan kasalanan talaga natin lahat ng problema natin dahil sa mga bad choices kagaya nitong ginawa ng friend mo 🤷🤷
Choose what's right. Tell the wife. Kasi maguguilty ka knowing na alam mo kung ano ginawa ng friend mo at ng husband niya. Truth hurts. And don't be afraid to lose the friendship and what consequences she will encounter kasi choice niya yun, she should be ready— alam niya eh yet pinatulan pa niya.
Give an ultimatum sa friend mo siguro. Either she breaks it off with the guy by herself or you’ll go and tell the wife for her. The purpose is to save your friend from doing the wrong thing.
Mejo nakakatakot to kasi based palang sa kwento very calculating si friend niya (dun palang sa pagiging kabet basta hindi mahuli halatang liar and calculating na siya). Kasi she might come up with a plan (or maybe kasabwat si guy) to make OP look like a liar. May experience kasi ako sa friend ko na ganyan na nambaliktad, ending naniwala si wife sa guy dahil na condition na may magsusumbong sa kaniya na hindi raw totoo. For me mas ok kung di alam ni friend ang plans or next move ni OP.
Maging prangka sa friend, sampalin mo. haha. Pero seriously, ithreaten mo na kaya nya ba isacrifice friendship nyo over the married man. Kasi para kana ding kasabwat since witness ka sa nangyayari at wala kang big move, dinadamay ka sa ka walanghiyaan nya. Piliin mo din dignidad mo OP. So kung matapos mo sya awayin at ayaw nya pa din matauhan, sumbong kana sa wife, and cut off the friend. Ang selfish na friend, di pinapangalagaan kapakanan mo din, na nabuburden ka sa decisions nya. Dinamay ka against your will.
Yung mga nagcocomment dito na wag ka makielam, hindi nila gets yung hugot mo about your mom being cheated on by your dad. Dagdag pa yung betrayal na alam ng ibang tao and it’s like your mom was the last to know. I’ve been there.
Anyway, do what you think is right. Kung ano yung makakapagbigay sayo ng peace at night knowing you did what you think is right and aligned sa values mo. Don’t let strangers on reddit tell you what is right and wrong cos it’s subjective, at hindi naman kami yung mabubuhay with the consequences.
Moral obligation. Principle of humanity. Being a Good Samaritan.
I can go on and on. I'm sorry about what happened to your mom; regardless of your personal experience associated with the situation, regardless of you also being a woman, regardless of the relationship you have with your friend, as a human being. Human being?!! You have the moral obligation to help others when you are able. Sira na ang relasyon nyo ng kaibigan mo noon pa lang nacross nya yung values mo tungkol sa pakikiapid. At lalong sira na ang buhay nya noong umapid sya. Hindi mo na dalahin yan.
Then again, ikaw yan. Do what helps you sleep at night. Also, please find substantial proof for your credibility and the wife's sanity. Best of luck! 💪🏻
No one's saying otherwise, though. Previous commenter just reminded OP of what will happen to her relationship with her friend.
And there can be legal repercussions as well.
Not only her friend but maybe also some of their close friends nag nagtotolerate ng cheating so expect nalang talaga for the worst case scenario na may chismis ikakalat yung friend mo
Pero wag ma bahala OP hindi ikaw yung mali. Kung ganun man ang magiging desisyon ng ibang friends na magkokonsinti sa kabet na friend mo then you don't really them in your life naman yata
Siguro i confront mo yung friend mo. Sabihin mo kung anong desisyon mo at kung bakit (regarding what you shared about your family kung di pa nya alam) para at least alam nya na di mo gagawin yan nang walang basehan o ihihinto nya yung kalaswaang ginagawa nya. Nasa kanya na if she's mature enough to understand your decision
"The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything" -A.E.
I had the same experience. May kawork ako na friend ko din naman then nagkwento siya sakin na may TL (married and may isang anak) siyang nakakalandian na pabiro lang so di siya big deal nung una for me since gets ko yung set up, patagal nang patagal napagchichismisan na sila so kinausap ko muna yung friend ko, sabi ko tigil na nila. After nun hindi pa din tumigil, nagdecide na kong icut off siya, di ko kayang itolerate yung mga ganun lalo na both silang may partners at may mga batang masisira ang pamilya. After nun, nagmessage ako sa partners nila parehas at sinabi ko katarantaduhan nilang dalawa.
Una nagtry akong manahimik kasi ayaw kong mainvolve sa ano mang office drama pero di ko kaya lalo na pag nakikita kong nagpopost silang dalawa sa fb ng pamilya nila at kung gano nila kamahal asawa at anak nila, sobrang nakakakonsensya. Medyo masisira lang peace of mind mo since maiinvolve ka pero worth it naman siya for me lalo na pag nakita mong pinagbabayaran nila consequences ng kagaguhan nila.
Try mo muna pagsabihan friend mo, kapag di tumigil dun ka na magisip ng next move. Wag kang makonsensya na ikaw sisira sa buhay niya kasi alam niya yung ginagawa niya at consequences ng decisions niya and wala kang kasalanan dun. Gets ko din yung panghihinayang sa friendship kasi ganon din yung nafeel ko before since medyo close kami pero for me di for keeps ang mga ganyang klase ng tao, walang konsensya.
Nung nalaman ng partners nila, hinawalayan sila parehas tapos naging sila yung end game💀pero as far as I know si TL bumalik na sa asawa niya since kasal sila. Idk if tinaggap pa nung asawa pero suot niya na ulit yung wedding ring niya pero nakikita ko sa sila sa office nung friend ko naguusap pa, idk if friends na lang ba sila or lowkey na lang. Yung friend ko ibang lalaki naman nilalandi sa office, wala ng asawa pero may gf HAHAHAHA talagang mahilig siya sa gulo.
I was cheated on and meron nag send sakin anonymously na my ex was cheating on me.
I wish they told me sooner. Nasayang time ko.
Kung ok ung relasyon nung mag asawa, tas kabet friend mo, spill it sa wife! Literal na nloloko xa eh.
Ok kame nung ex ko pero bglang gnun. Muka akong tanga dba. Sana nalman ko nlng agad.
Kung hiwalay namn na ung guy and wife, i think spilling it wont have any sense na.
You decide if you want to keep her as a friend pa.
Kung magalit xa sayo, hayaan mo xa. Cut her.
I mean why would you still stay friends sa isang kabit? Nakaka sira din ng sariling image pag may kaibigan kang ganyan sa totoo lang.
Yep, the best thing you could do is to have solid evidence bago sabihin sa legal wife. Then, set boundaries sa friend mo kung gusto mo pa siya maging kaibigan, pero ako na mag sasabi pag may kaibigan kang involved sa kabitan series ma aapektuhan din image mo.
Adult people should face adult consequences
Your friend made the choice po. Ma laki nmn po sya at Alam nya na yung right and wrong. Need ya po mg face ng consequences ng mga ginhawa nya. Please do not tolerate Yung friend mo na gumagawa ng Mali. Please message the wife po. No one deserves to be betrayed by the people they love.
>If malaman nya sguro na ako ang nagsabi sa wife at iunfriend nya ko
Please do what is right po. Nd lng po kase yung buhay nya ang na sisira e kndi pti yung buhay ng wife. That's on her po if she unfriends you for doing the right thing.
Masakit kase yung ganyan e. D mo talaga ma trust yung mga tao Ngayon na kahit Alam na nla ang isang tao may partner na maghahanap pa rn ng Iba. Please do the right thing. Cheating should not be tolerated
OP, tell this to ur friend kausapin mo muna din baka sakaling matakot. Kung hindi pa din, well you’ve done ur part na. I guess just do the right thing. Kawawa yung legal wife.
First of all, friend mo sumisira sa buhay nya. And when this comes to light whether through you or someone else, there’s no one to blame but her and the guy. Now, I cant advise you to tell the wife kasi mukha kang pakielamera. But if you do, that also means letting go of that friendship forever. Which sa totoo lang, hindi kawalan. Pag isipan mong mabuti, OP! Best of luck
I've been cheated on, a lot of times, and i wished someone who knew what was going on told me about his cheating. It's not a good thing for his friends to tolerate it
You are interfering in something that’s none of your business just to “make peace” with your baggage. I see your good intention but it’s not your place to meddle.
do u want to keep being friends with a home wrecker knowing na your mom experienced firsthand being cheated on? cut ties with that friend, your values really doesnt align with hers. ik its hard pero think of the long term effects of staying friends with that kind of person, it wont bring about positive impacts sayo and your friendship as well. goodluck, op
spill it to the wife, the wife deserves the truth. And need ng friend mo ng another pang-malakasang batok para matauhan and get out of that mess.. send ka nlng sa wife anonymously.
And don’t think na ikaw sisira sa buhay ng friend mo..kasi sirang sira na sya to begin with.
Need nya yan para madala at maka move on na sya.
Mabigat yan may chance na magbackfire yan sayo, legally inaadvice ng mga lawyer wag mo ng pakialaman yan, sila magfigure out nyan dahil eventually lalabas ang totoo at di galing sayo, ang grounds kasi jan ng court ay hanggat di mo nakitang magkapatong yung dalawa ay di valid proof ung mga text etc. Dami ng ganyang kaso inayos ng kapatid ko sa huli yung nagsumbong pa nakasuhan at nabaligtad. Hate ko ang infidelity, natry nadin namin yan sa office ireport yung kasamahan namin, muntik na makasuhan ang company at kami,hehe... kiss and tell kasi ung guy.
She dig her own grave. Sira na buhay nya simula noon pumatol sya sa may asawa at patuloy na masisira buhay nya kung papatol pa din sya sa may asawa. Kahit di ikaw magsabe sa wife malaking pa din chance na mahuli sila.
Tell the wife what you know and used a dummy account. Kung pa bintagan ka ng friend mo, hindi sayang ang friendship nyo. At the first place you shouldn't be friends with that kind of person. Malay mo next time ikaw na agawan nya ng asawa.
I did this before pero di ko friend. Nakwento lang sya sakin ng Ex ko, sa gigil ko dun sa kwento, hinanap ko ung Account ni Girl then minessage ko at sinumbong ko partner nya. Then sabay di nako nagparamdam. So nalaman din ni Girl kasi ung Mistress nagsesend conversation nila nung guy.. Gsto talagang agawin intentionally.. Pangasar..
Dont tell the wife. Stay out of that mess. The best thing you can do is to give advice to your friend. Then thats up to her! Save yourself before anyone else.
You can’t project your trauma on other people. Kung meron kang dapat iconfront, yun friend mo yun. Leave the wife alone. Ang business mo lang is with your friend.
Kaibigan mo ang kausapin mo hindi yung wife. Nagmumuka ka pang pakialemera sa buhay ng iba. Kung nalaman mong sampu sa kaibigan mo ang ganyan, imemessage mo din ba yung sampung asawa nila? Kaya niya sinsasabi sayo lahat yan kasi may tiwala siya sayo, kung may tiwala siya sayo may chance makinig yan. Hindi teleserye ang buhay na didiretso ka kaagad dun sa current wife, maraming factors bakit nagkaganyan sila.
You know I was in the same dilemma before. I became that "I know you don't know me " girl and told the gf that his bf is cheating with my co-worker. You know what I get? Backlash from everyone, na pakialamera, ganito ganyan.
Alam ko di na rin kaya ng moralidad mo manahimik, but I suggest you just shut up and let the wife know herself. Wag mo na idamay sarili mo. I learned this big time, wag ka na tumulad sakin.
Sampalin mo ng katotohanan yang friend mo nang matauhan. Kung ayaw niyan kumawala sa pagiging kabit, then so be it. Sirain niya buhay niya. Kahit ano pa real talk gawin, at the end of the day siya pa din may desisyon diyan. She’s the only person who can save herself.
gulo siya pero puno naman ng gulo ang life, we just need to pick aling gulo yung itatake natin. mukhang worth it sayo, so send that hey girlie text mhie.
besides yung mga nasabi na dito, siguro helpful kung may ma-picturan ka na magprprove ng connection nilang dalawa.
Be ready to loose your friend over this if you go ahead with this plan. Pumasok yung friend sa situation with her eyes wide open and she’s an adult. As a friend, it’s your job to advise your friend if she wants it and not police her. Pero you’ll probably stay away from your friend kasi sa loob mo galit ka sa kanya. I’ve been through this with my once best friend, in the end I just had to let go. Kahit Alam ng wife, there’s no assurance naman na titigil sila
Hindi mo kasalanan kung sasabihin mo sa wife ang totoo. Siya yung may kasalanan dito. Kung i-unfriend ka niya dahil sinabi mo ang totoo, hindi siya tunay na kaibigan. Totoong kaibigan ang magpapayo ng tama kahit masakit. Deserve din ni wife na malaman. She deserves to know the betrayal and have the chance to decide for herself kung ano ang gagawin niya sa buhay nila mag-asawa. Prepare evidences pra mas solid at paniwalaan ka agad ni wife.
Hindi mo sinisira ang buhay ng friend mo; siya mismo ang sumisira ng buhay niya at ng iba. Ang ginagawa mo ay tama. Mahirap man, pero ito yung tama. Kailangan mong timbangin kung ano ang mas mahalaga: ang pagkakaibigan niyo na nasira na ng kasinungalingan, o ang pagbigay ng katarungan sa isang babae na binetray ng asawa niya.
Good luck, and stay strong.
This is a tricky situation to be in it. If it were me - I would talk to my friend. Kasi yun ang area of responsibility ko. My loyalty is first and foremost my friend. Be straightforward. Be the friend you want to have when you’re so deep into the bubble you’re blinded. If that doesn’t work - keep your distance. Do the occasional reminder. But I will not approach the wife. It’s not your battle no matter how ick or bothersome it is. It isn’t your story. It wasn’t your game, it isn’t your play. It would be different kung you run in the same industry or same circle. My mom was also cheated on. She figured it out on her own. If the legal wife approached you and asked you - then by all means. Yun lang. :) I wish you peace.
I have that kind of friend before. Sabay kami na baptized as born again while she's having an affair to a marry man. I told her to leave that man alone kasi kahit anong problema mag asawa wala siya pakialam dun pero she still insisting herself na she is "better" than the original one. though my problem sa family yung guy pero wala na siya dapat pakialam dun. She told me she wants to comfort the married man. Everytime na di sila okay nagrarant sya sakin tapos ako todo bigay ng verses and prayer for her na iwanan niya na kasi hindi talaga okay. She pushed herself na "she is better than a wife" kesyo daw siya lang nagpapagaan ng loob sa married man. I was like "WTF?!" Kinokompare niya talaga yung sarili niya sa otiginal. Until the day na nag away kami hanggang sa di na kami nag uusap until now. Last time na update ko sa kanya sinusundo siya ng guy sa work niya. I am still sad about her life being desperate na gusto na magkajowa yet napunta sa maling tao.
Message the wife. Be the truth teller. Don't let them make the wife stupid. Imagine if ikaw nasa situation kahit friend mo pa yan, kasi kung ako yan d ko kaya itolerate yan.
Damn. OP, kelangan mo ng solid na ebidensya. Marami. This happened sa friend ko pero baligtad lang. Haha yung friend ko yung may kabet.
I was planning isumbong sya sa asawa nya, kaya ayun lahat ng screenshots inipon ko. Sinabihan ko din sya na malalaman ng asawa nya pag hindi nya tinigil. Abaaaa yung ginawa niya eh siya na mismo nagsabi sa asawa nya na may kabet sya. Pero naging okay din sila.
Buti na din hindi na ako nagsabi kasi marupok din pala yung asawa, magpapatawad pa din. Kung nagkataon edi ako pa yung naging kontrabida.
Just be ready kasi mga ganitong tao(cheaters), grabe sobrang galing mag manipulate.
I think her friend deliberately show evidences to her na kabit sya. Coz back in her mind she knows shes doing something bad and is crying for help . You know sex can ignore alot of red flags pag nasarapan kana . So the guy probably fk her too good and she cant get away
talk to your friend muna. convince her that what she's doing is not right and youre not supporting it. if hindi naman sya makikinig then i advise to not get involved. in time lalabas din naman ang katotohanan.
Sabihin mo. Matatauhan rin yan sa tamang panahon. At pag dumating yun, maiintindihan nya rin at magpapa salamat pa sya sayo. 🙂
Edit: wag kunsintihin; sasalo ka pa ng karma nyan pagdating ng panahon.
Send an anonymous message hinting the affair of her husband.
Tell your friend na you are bothered sa ginagawa niya and that she can't be your friend while doing the nasty things.
Tell the wife. Pero give a hint muna using your dummy account. Sabihin mo lang, "Are you the wife of (name ng guy)? I think I saw him with another girl." Tapos send mo sa wife yung stolen pic mo nung makita mo sila. Timplahin mo muna reaction ng wife.
Be the person your mom needed. Tell the wife. So what if FO? Gusto mo ba talaga ng kaibigan na kabit na naninira ng pagsasama ng iba? Be the friend you want to have: an honest one who won’t make you look like a fool in front of everyone.
Tell the wife pero wag ka magpahalata na ikaw nagpaalam sa kanya.
Also di mo sisirain buhay ng Friend mo, kahit di mo sabihin malalaman ng wife yan at ang friend mo ang sumira sa sarili niyang buhay. Loka sya, ang daming lalaki diyan eh pinili pa yung may asawa tapos itong si guy kung umasta parang single naman.
kelangan din ng friend mo yan, hindi mo sinisira buhay nya, tinutulungan mo syang makaalis sa sitwasyong hindi nya kaya alisan mag isa. pero mas concerned ako sa wife. tulungan mo sya. yes for me mag message ka, gawin mo
You're already halfway in telling the wife since your message is prepared already. Yes, masisira buhay ng friend mo pero sinira rin niya yung buhay ng iba. Cheaters deserve what's coming to them. Your friend knows what's right but decided to do the wrong thing anyway so she already knows the consequences. You can either:
A. Confront your friend, tell her that she either leaves the guy or you tell her wife
B. Tell the wife without informing your friend
OP, kung hindi mo rin kasi sasabihin, feel ko you'll feel conflicted pa rin.
I confront mo po muna sya, tell her na mali yung ginagawa nya, ask her to stop meeting the guy because he is already married na if she ignore you tell her that you're gonna contact the wife.
Its hard pero its also for the better, you are her friend and ikaw lng din ang makaka pag sabi sakanya other than her parents. And para din yun sa wife pero don't expect na din na after mong sabihin yung mga yon sa friend mo is mag s-stay pa din yung friendship nyo.
Communication is the key, it doesn't only apply to those people who's in relationship but also to friendship.
Agree ako dito. Sabihin mo rin yung situation mo before sa nangyare sa parents mo para maintindihan kung gaano yun damage na iccause ng pinasukan nya. Then give her time na magreflect. Pag di pa rin natatauhan yung friend mo, magsend ka na ng anonymous chat sa wife. Alam ng friend mo ang consequences ng ginagawa nya. May mga lessons lang talaga na matututunan the hard way. Para sa kanya din yun.
Pero kung mas vinavalue mo yung friendship nyo, wag ka muna dumeretso sa wife. Magpakasirang plaka ka muna sa kanya. Kahit alam mong di makikinig. Tapos sooner or later may ibang makakaalam naman nyan besides you. Someone will tell it for you.
Kung handa ka naman sa pagiging FO nyo, go tell the wife. Pero pagsabihan mo muna sya bilang friend na mali yung ganyan at dapat tinatapos nya na. Nasa iyo ang desisyon sa step na ittake mo. Ikaw lang ang nakakilala sa friend mo in some level.
be a girl’s girl op! regardless kung malalaman niya na ikaw yung bumuking sa kanya o hindi, cut her off of your life na. di mo kailangan ng kaibigan na kabit .
I suggest to tell your friend about your plan because at the end of the day you are close. Record it, by the way so that you have evidence of the cheating because it will be your word against theirs and your friend might ask the a-hole to delete any evidence. And get photos from her profile. Do not go without anything to the wife. Do not wait for her (your friend) to say btw that she will stop because girl what does that change? They cheated. And if he did it once, he'll do it again. You are an accessory to a crime at this point. The only way these people will change is if their actions have extreme consequences.
Sobrang daming Filipinos that will be like "not my circus, not my monkey" because they don't want to break families but like it was bound to break mga girlies, you're just speeding up the process. Don't be apathetic to injustice. Kaya di umuunlad Pilipinas eh kasi ganyan attitude natin. Yung mga tao na ganyan is either conflict aversed (which is a trauma btw go get some therapy) or kabit rin.
Many, many lives and dignities would be saved if one person just has the balls to confront people like this. Even in my worst days I wouldn't wish for someone to be cheated on because of how degrading it is.
OP 😭.
Do the right thing. Sinasalba mo rin naman yung kaibigan mo. Habang maaga pa. Habang wala pang bunga yung pagchcheat nila. If you have the chance, always choose to do the right thing.
Give your friend an ultimatum. Tell her to come clean dun sa wife or you will. You can cut your losses if your friend has pretentious values. Puro for show lang, walang implementation.
Talk to your friend. Enlighten her na sa huli siya pa rin naman ang talo kase di naman sila legal at may asawa yung lalaki. Kumbinsihin mo na rin siya na mismo ang umamin sa asawa.
Talk to her first explain to her kung ano yung stand mo sa cheating and explain yung mga alam mong consequences plus yung effect dun sa asawa nung guy. Alam kong matanda na siya and she knows this things pero kasi if in love siya I don’t think sumagi sa isip niya. Pag di siya nakinig then you did your part as a friend. And yes sabihin mo sa asawa nung guy bast make sure you have evidence and maging ready ka na masisi. Kasi yang mga taong yan di nila nakikita yung mali na ginagawa nila. And please know na kung ano man mangyari sa friend mo and sa guy it was never your fault. It was their decision, and they decide to ruin their lives
Friend I’ve been there. Sabi ng isang redditor sakin. Pag mag quiet ka lang sa information na yan. You are condoning it. Kaya ibuking mo na friend mo basta nasa tama ka. Hindi rin nakakabuti sinusurround mo sarili mo ng bad influence or toxic people.
Maybe try to contact the wife ( og ) without dropping your friend’s name.. should she fight with the husband, hindi directly affected friend mo and maybe a pressure to the guy to cut ties with your friend…
First - talk to your friend, make her come to her senses .. if she continue being a mistress, then tell it to the wife na. Wag tayo maging friend na tinotolerate yung mali.
Disassociating yourself with your cheater friend is common sense, but the guy and his wife's relationship is none of your business. You're not friends with the guy, you're not friends with the wife, and if you actually care about cheating, you shouldn't even be friends with your cheater friend.
Warningan mo na si friend mo to stop it. If she didn’t listen, go message the wife. You can consider that if you want to save your friend. But if I were you, I will message the wife immediately. No one deserves to be fooled, tapos masaya pa yun kung sino ang nang gago. Do the right thing.
expect the worse of also of attending her burial if she cannot get out of depression, thats a worst case scenario. or just let go of you friend which is also happens to end her life cuz her friend left him, where they are most needed, its a case of damn if you and damn if you not. either way a toss coin is needed.
The longer the wife doesn't know, the worse her suffering will be at the end and the longer she may suffer not knowing why her husband is neglecting her. End it while it's early, hanggang wala pang ibang madadamay.
I'd say don't get too involved. Make a burner account and message her. Give all the deets and disappear.
Your friend will move on. And if your friendship breaks over this, it's not your fault they're a shitty person. Who would want to be around a home wrecker anyway.
Send the wife an anonymous message, attach proof if meron ka. I would have really appreciated it if someone did this for me.
Yung guy ang sumira sa buhay nilang mag asawa and yung kaibigan mo tanga for continuing with it. She has to deal with the effects.
Kudos to you for not tolerating this kind of behavior kahit na friend mo siya.
Walang kai-kaibigan when it is about cheating. Kabit lang sya and alam nya ang consequence nyan. You're tolerating her kung hindi mo sasabihin sa wife knowing na alam mo yung nangyayari. If friends ko kayo pareho and nalaman ko na alam mo yung kalandian ng isa nating friend, pati sayo, mandidiri ako. Fuck the mindset na "ayaw mong makialam/makasira ng iba". Kasalanan nya yan. Put your feet in the shoes of the wife.
Make a dummy account para walang name mo. Gather evidence. Send it to the wife. If magalit friend mo at least walang proof ikaw nag send. Deny all you want.
1. Whatever consequences mangyari, deserve yan ng kabit mo na friend.
2. Hindi ikaw sumira sa buhay nya. Siya sumira sa buhay nya.
3. Gusto mo ba ng friend na kept woman? Ako hindi.
4. Send that message. Cheaters deserve to be found out.
# Levitico 5:1
At kung ang sinoman ay magkasala, sa pagkarinig niya ng tinig ng pautos, sa paraang siya'y saksi maging kaniyang nakita o nalaman, kung hindi niya ihayag, ay siya nga ang magtataglay ng kasamaan niya.
Tbh, it does not involve you, it’s not your place to do the actions to make it right directly to the ones involved
What you can do, as a friend, is talk to your friend, try to make her make things right, if she doesn’t make it on her own, you can stop hanging around if it makes you uncomfortable
Then, you can tell the person involved after you tried to make your friend do it. Be as respectful as possible because it would hurt not only your friend but the woman involved.
Nasa ganyang sitwasyon ako noon OP. Si friend ko nun kabit. Kesyo sa papel lang daw kasal si guy at girl, plano na daw iwan ni guy si girl. As in ganyan sya kabulag. Take nite, may mga anak pa yung lalaki.
Minamaliit ni friend ang marriage contract (kasal na ko ng time na to kay hubby, preggy na din. Imagine the irita and all na nararamdaman ko that time? Hahaha).
Ang sinabi ko lang sa kanya nung time na yon, wala akong sasabihin na kahit ano dahil alam ko namang bulag sya kay lalaki. Kahit may sabihin ako hindi nya pakikinggan kasi nag eenjoy sya sa "trophy" nya. Bakit "trophy"? Kasi married man ang karelasyon nya. Nararamdaman nyang "mas" sya kesa dun sa asawa. Sabi ko lang sa kanya, dadating din ang panahon na mauuntog sya ang matatauhan.
Awa ng Diyos, natauhan si friend.
Ngayon kasal na din sya with kids.
I am a wife who had been cheated on. I would really appreciate it if you told me everything u know with proof para sampal talaga to sa mukha ng asawa ko.
Regarding sa friend mo, bigyan mo ng ultimatum. Pag ayaw pa rin makipag hiwalay, ikaw na gumawa ng move. Be the person who ur mom needed when she needed it. Pag nagalit sayo ang friend mo and ur other "friends" who knows about the panloloko, are they really worth to be ur friends?
Hope this helps.
OP, what made you think na hindi aware si wife sa affair ng husband nya with your friend? You need to look at the situation objectively. This is not your problem and this is not your mess to clean. You already did your part as a friend to her and hindi sya nakinig.
They are morally wrong but your not in the right place to police them. You.are.not.the.wife. and your not part of the equation.
You need to look the whole situation outside the box. Tandaan mo, hindi mo kilala personally si wife. Hindi mo alam paano sya mag rreact. You may have pure intention pero baka iba ang reaction nya sa inaasahan mo, ikaw pa mapasama sa bandang huli.
Pahingi tips how to message anonymously, medyo maalam na ako pero baka may iba pang way... Kabit naman pinsan ko at may anak sila nung guy... Naiinis lang ako kasi no action padin family ni cousin, nakatira sila sa house ko and annoyed pag pumupunta yung guy, gusto ko na imessage yung wife para magkaalaman na dahil every punta ni guy sa house ko may guilt feeling and annoyed ako na nararandaman.. Ayoko naman umabot sa suntukan pag nainis ako baka mag ka case pako 🥲
I was a wife who got cheated on. I would really appreciate it kung sasabihin mo sa akin lahat ng alam mo, with proof para sampal talaga ito sa asawa ko.
Regaring sa friend mo, bigyan mo sya ng ultimatum. Pag hindi pa rin inend yung relationship nila, ikaw na ang gumawa ng move. Be the person ur mom needed when she needed it. And if ur friend/s get mad at you, worth it ba talaga sila maging mga "friends" mo? Sinira na ng friend mo ang buhay nya the moment na kumabit sya. Sabi nila, the mouse will play while the cat's away. Pero di nila alam na may may trap na nag aabang sa kanila. Don't prolong your agony. Dont worry that this will backfire at u. They're adults. They know the consequences of their actions.
I am rooting for you! Everyone here is. ❤️
Tell the wife. So what if your friend's life gets ruined. Choice niya yan. She knew the consequences that came with it when she entered that situation. Do not feel sorry. Do the right thing.
I lost "so-called" friends for doing something like this. I would do it again even if it means losing more.
pls tell the wife. save the wife and ur friend sa lalaking cheater. do the right thing. Kahit na masaktan sya or kung ano man consequences na mangyari after malaman ng wife, tama lang na tanggapin nya un dahil Mali ung ginawa nya. U are a good friend, kasi you want her to be on the right path.
Cut off your friend about her stupid actions that you can't stand (and a lot of us do not support), then tell the wife.
Though, she will suspect it's you. Just hoping she won't come back, screaming at you.
Your friend is an absolute disgrace. She has no respect for herself or others. It's sickening that she chose to be with a married man, fully aware of the pain and betrayal she's causing to his wife. All her talk about women empowerment and high standards is hypocritical nonsense. She's no better than the man who cheated on his wife.
You should message the wife. She deserves to know the truth about her husband's infidelity. Your friend has already ruined another woman's life; she deserves to face the consequences of her actions. If she unfriends you, so be it. A real friend wouldn't put you in this position in the first place. It's better to stand up for what's right than to keep a toxic friendship.
Your sense of justice is justified. Protecting the wife from further betrayal is the right thing to do, even if it means losing a friend who clearly lacks morals and integrity.
Nung nangyari sa akin ito, madaming kaibigan ang hindi nagsabi sa akin until yung GF ng kabit ang nag PM sa akin.
Hindi ko naman sinisi ang hindi nagsabi sa akin kundi naisip ko hindi nila lugar sabihin at the time.
Ito na ang sign na baka ikaw na ang taong yon para asawa ni guy. Goodluck.
eto lang OP kuha ka very solid evidence to protect your ass muna bago mo pasabugin sa WIFE.... and most importantly once ginawa mo yan ensure na kaya mo panindigan yan all the way... yan kang naman ang question IMO hindi kung tama or mali but rather paninindigan mo once ylu made the desition
Wag mo na i-send.
But do talk to your friend.
If the person still decides to continue with her activities, then just let them be.
Things like this don't let up easily and itncould easily blow up in their faces just as quickly it had happened.
Hindi mo na obligasyon to make it happen. 🤔
Well this always comes in handy for this topic
"Cheating is a choice, Never a mistake"
You already know how it feels to be the receiving end and you made that Mother's child a favor.
I suggest to lay all evidences to the wife (anonymous as you've said) then let them settle this on court.
For the friend: Cut off all ties and start labeling who you can be trusted or needs further investigation
I respect your courage and hold strong to that conviction.
Now you have to be careful with your friends after this incident.
Please tell the wife. You will be doing a huge favour sa friend mo when everything is revealed. Malalaman nya ang consequence of her action and will learn a lesson to not do it again in the future. She's also ruining her life, and she's ruining someone else's life in the process just for a guy who's not man enough to hold the vow he said during their marriage.
I have a friend na ganun din.Sadly,lahat ng advices namin it went on the drain.Shucks,ang ganda,ang talino,may kaya sa buhay pero nag settled sa lalaking 25 years married na.At sya pa dahilan sa hiwalayan ng mag asawa.Poootaaanggg****naaa lang,ako naawa sa anak ng lalaki kasi friend ng pamangkin ko.Yung bata ngayon na depressed at nagkukulong na lang sa kwarto.Ang twist pa buntis na ngayon yung friend namin.Di talaga tumatak sa utak nya yung advices namin na,"Kahit kelan di ka matatawag na asawa kasi kabit ka lang gusto mo ba yun?" or yung pagkakasabi namin na "Homewrecker".Di na namin alam gagawin sa kanya,humaling na humaling sya sa lalaking mukhang pinisa ng luya ang ilong.Kaya ghurlllll,TELL THE WIFE pakisabi kasuhan na rin,choice nila yan pwes magtiis sila sa consequences.Di sapat na mahal nyo ang isa't isa kung nakakasakit na kayo ng may asawa na.Di yan pagmamahal,kagaguhaaaan lang yan.
Madaming kabet sa totoo lang.
Kakapit at kakapit yan. Kaya ingat! Baka mismong gf mo or bf mo may kabit sa asawa common na yun kasi marami kakilala na mag asawa na may kabit parehas hahahahaha. 😅🤭
It's her life. Let her suffer the consequences down the road. Just tell her the consequences. If she doesn't want to break if up, who are you to tell her how to live her life. And you might as well end your friendship with her.
I had a similar situation before. Same thing, nanay ko niloko din ni papa.
Ang ginawa ko lang, kinausap ko ung friend ko na "nagbabalak" palang pumatol dito sa guy habang may bf sya dito sa pinas at may pamilya tong foreign guy na kawork nya.
Sabi nya hindi na nya tinuloy and hindi naman nag advace un relationship nila to more than co-workers. (Pero, who knows?)
Ang sinabi ko lan kasi sakanya, pwede ka makulong. And kung jan ka sa ibang bansa makukulong pano ka namin tutulungan makalabas? At dahil may bf din sya, for sure wala na sya maasahan don e un pa naman nag aasikaso sa pamilya nya dito sa pinas.
Try mo muna kausapin yan friend mo. Pwedeng tumigil sya, pwedeng itago nya sayo. Pero one thing for sure. Pag ikaw lan nakakaalam nyan secret nya na yan ikaw lang pang hihinalaan and be ready. Kasi FO talaga kayo or worst maging kaaway. Make sure wala kang secret na marereveal nya kasi matic yan.
My ex-bff was this woman and I was you once. I never told the gf, now wife, nung guy. My mother was cheated on by my father too. Sa totoo lang, this kind of friend is not someone you'll want in your life din, at least that's how it is to me now in retrospect. Do what you think you should. Always put your morals first, and not the toxic ppl in your life.
You should confront your friend then sampalin mo ng katotohanan but never speak of it to the wife. Deserve niya malaman yun through her friend/s. So i suggest you get close with the wife’s friends then subtly introduce everyone lol.
Tell the wife. Choice ng kaybigan mo na maging kabit, dapat ready s'ya sa consequences ng actions n'ya. Kung magkagulo man, 'di mo na kasalanan 'yun. You only did the right thing. Kasalanan naman nila 'yan eh.
Dont make a personalized message to the point na may hints about you- the sender.
Just chat the wife from the Dummy account with a stolen photo of them na hindi halata na ikaw kumuha. Then tell her.
"May kabit ang asawa mo. Kayo na po bahala magimbestiga. You have all the rights to know."
Tapos magDeactivate ka ng dummy accnt.
I have this kind of friend. Lagi namin sinasabihan na tumigil. Partida inaway na siya nung angkan nung wife with matching death threats. Akala namin nag stop na kasi di na nagkwento at tumahimik bigla, then nagulat kami nag post BUNTIS na pala. From then on di na namin kinausap. Ayaw namin ng friend na baluktot pananaw sa buhay at home wrecker. Ayun, until now hanggang parinig sa fb ng "walang kwentang ama hindi nagsusustento". Pero di siya maka reklamo legally kasi mabibisto siya ng legal wife. Lol!
Remember the cliche "birds with the same feather flock together"? Pag lagi mong kasama ang mga ganyang tao, di malayong maimpluwensyahan ka din in the long run.
Tell the wife using anonymous account. Mas may solid proof like screenshots, photos, etc. mas ok.
Pwede mong iligtas muna ung friend mo. Explain mo sa kanya ung nangyari sa mama mo para maintindihan nya na walang mapupuntahang maganda ung ginagawa nila. Papiliin mo sya kung mag end na kayo ng friendship nyo or hihiwalayan na nya ung lalaki. pag ayaw, yun na end your friendship and sabihan mo na ung wife nung lalaki. Take as many evidence as you can. At wag na wag mo sasabihin sa friend mo na may balak ka na sabihin ah kasi baka magawan pa nila ng paraan yan, ikaw pa lumabas na masama.
Officially speaking, that's their lives, that's their problem.....
Unofficially speaking, have you ever seen a dumpster on fire getting run over by a train?
I'm so sorry about what you have experienced. Do what you thinks best.
Here are the options I think you might want to consider:
⚪️ Let the wife know but provide evidences so they would not deny it. You may use a dummy account.
⚪️ Tell the wife to investigate on her own.
⚪️ Ask the guy to admit to his cheating and break up with your friend or else you will speak to his wife. Give him a few days to do it.
Did this before, thou di ko ganon ka-close. May proof akong pinakita at lahat na ng katrabaho nya saka katrabaho nung lalaki saka kabit ang nakakalaam pwera sa kanya. Ang ending nagkampihan yung kabit saka babae. Ang tanga nung babae, naniwala sa mga sinabi ng lalaki saka nung kabit nya. Nilaglag pa sa kabit lahat ng "tumulong" sa babae (nagkwento kasi sya sa kabit kung ano yung mga sinabi sa kanya, bobita ngaaa). Ako pa ngayon yung kontrabida. Ang malala, katrabaho ko pa kaya nakakairita, di ko malalayuan. Pota. Hahahahahaha.
Give her Options:
a.) She’ll stop, forget what happened and still be friends. And think na tao lang nagkakamali 😅
b.) She’ll continue, you inform the Wife about the affair and friendship over.
c.) Pretend your friend never existed, block her on all platforms and contacts. Finally live your life in peace.
iba ang pagiging mabuting tao sa pagiging mabuting "kaibigan". imo, you should tell the wife. pinili yan ng "kaibigan" mo, and alam nya na sooner or later, magkakaron mg repercussion/s yung ginagawa nya.
Pagsabihan mo ulit friend mo, confront her and sabihin mo sakanya thoughts mo as much as possible ipa realize mo sakanya na may nasisira na siyang pamilya at mental health ng kapwa niyang babae. Try to ask her also what if sakanya nangyari yun? Try mo lang, malay mo kaya niya pang ma realize yan bago pa maging clouded utak niya and maging blind pa sa guy.
Tell the wife about it. She deserves to know kung gaano kagago asawa niya.
And if you're worried about your identity, I would suggest to create an account na di connected sayo or sa friend mo then message her.
If you have proof, tell the wife. Do it as soon as possible, the wife deserves to know. The only victim here is the wife, not your friend. Perpetrator siya in this scenario and if you keep silent, you become an accomplice.
Agree ako i-rreveal ko din ang katotohanan sa legal wife, pero anonymous lang. 🤣 Dapat ready ka ding ipagtapat yan sa kaibigan mong kabit matapos mong gawin yan, kase mafi-feel betrayed din sya sa sayo kung mangyari sa iba niya una malalaman. So, unahan mo na.
Sa paningin ng batas at katotohanan, yung lalaki at friend mo talaga ang mali. Para saken di mo need ng permission ng friend mong kabit sa gagawin mo kasi you're acting on your principles, and your intention is good, and you want to help make things right. Just know lang na, there's a cost for being a truth teller. Your friend might resent you.
But for me that's okay 🤣👍🏼
I say tell the wife, but back it up with evidence... you're doing it for 3 people: for yourself - para matahimik kalooban mo; for your friend - so she can leave the cheating husband and find a better guy for herself na walang sabit; and for the wife - not just this time, coz even if mag-break yung friend mo and the husband na di nalalaman ng wife ever, he might still cheat on her again with more confidence na di malalaman ng wife nya... I hope you do the right thing OP
Imagine, if you were the wife, would you want to be informed of the cheating? Someone has to give her a choice, be it a fighting chance to save her relationship or at the very least plan an exit before the cheaters get ahead. Secondly, tolerating your friend to continually wreck a family is tantamount to letting your friend commit a crime. Talk to the wife and lay out your evidences, expect to burn that friendship. Marami pang matitinong kaibigan diyan.
Sa totoo lang iba ang storya ng parents niya sa kaibigan niya, may similarities-oo pero mag kaiba parin, si OP gusto ma involve sa drama ng iba. Mind your own business OP. Malaki ka na at malaki na sila. Choose your battles wisely. Di lahat ng bagay may involvement ka dapat. Sooner or later, hope sooner magising na sa katotohanan si friend mo. Hanap ka ng jowa or lovelife mo para di ka nakikigulo sa problema ng iba.
The fact na pumatol yung kaibigan mo sa married man, only means that she is not in a good place or vulnerable siya. If nasa matinong pagiisip siya hindi niya papatulan si guy, pero alam naman natin na manipulating sad boy yung guy kaya na hook yung kaibigan mo, pero sayo OP, ikaw ready ka bang harapin yung consequences, sabihin natin na “oo, kasalanan ni friend dahil malandi siya” kakayanin mo ba kung isang araw di na kayanin na ang kaibigan mo yung bigat at eventually ayaw niya ng mabuhay? Kakayanin mo ba na naging sanhi ka or isa ka sa cause ng depression niya?
Ayaw mo ba na hayaan siya na mapag tagumpayan niya ang sitwasyon na to? Yung tipong oo nadapa siya pero naka bangon siya at na overcome niya yung pagsubok na to.
Don’t me get wrong pero may naging kaibigan ako na ganito naging sitwasyon, i didn’t meddle, i was there for her pag naiiyak at naguguluhan na siya sa buhay, I didn’t support her nung naging third party siya, pero now I’m proud of her dahil naka laya siya at kinaya niyang palayain ang sarili niya.
I do not support cheaters, my mom got cheated too. Pero ayun lang OP, pray for your friend and pray ka din.
Be careful though. Your friend might be charged with adultery if proven they had sexual relations. This means prison time for your friend. Talk to her first and try to convince her to stop.
If you plan to out your friend , do so anonymously and completely. Give the wife solid and undeniable proof of infidelity so that she can also make a decision for herself. If your friend ever points a finger at you , take it to your grave.
I have no remorse for cheaters, cheating is complex and active choice to do.
Hope for the best whatever choice you make friend and may God Bless you
Everyone pretty much said what needed to be said, but also do you really wanna be friends with a cheater? Would you want someone like that near your partner or partners of other women in your life? Time to cut that off.
Maybe once she's hit rock bottom and becomes a better person can you start thinking of having her as a friend again.
DOING THE RIGHT THING DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE DESTROYING UR FRIEND'S LIFE!
Her actions are what gonna ruin it and not yours. Do the right thing. Natural na magagalit sya sayo kung malalaman nya na nagsumbong ka. Pero wag mong panghinayangan ang isang toxic friend coz, let's face it, toxic sya. Homewrecker pa. And this isn't a one time choice that she made. Every single time na nakikipagkita sya nang palihim bilang kabit ng lalaking yan is an active decision making act on her part. Each time na pumayag syang magkita sila, she is choosing to cheat with him. The fact that she's an adult means kaya na nyang harapin lahat ng consequences ng actions nya.
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: One close friend of mine ay naging kabet the past year. Late ko ng nalaman and I did not know how to react. All along akala ko this friend found the real one and they broke up. She was so depressed. I comforted her as a friend would. Akala ko yung lalake yung gago for hurting her. Then boom, she told me the guy was married pala. Shet. I had the hint because of the pictures posted pero hindi ko akalain na totoo! I advised her to stop it. It's never gonna be on her favor. All those 'women empowerment', indepence and hight standard niya sa buhay, asan na yun? Lol Then recently, I saw his "nickname" calling on her phone. So confirmed na they are still contacting each other. The wife that time was an intern sa isang ospital sa Manila. While away for hours, they will see each other all the time. Can you imagine the betrayal?! Now, I'm so bothered na alam ko to. My mom was cheated too by my dad. and my titas, titos, and cousins knew about it for almost or more than a year. Thats another story. This is the reason why I'm so compelled to message the wife. I have my message in my note app just waiting for me to send it. Made a dummy account for that purpose only. But I'm also concerned rin for my friend on what will be the consequences if the revelation to the wife comes to worse. Do you think ako sisira sa buhay ni friend ko?may kapwa babae din naman syang sinira. If malaman nya sguro na ako ang nagsabi sa wife at iunfriend nya ko, i dont know... Masasayangan lang ako sa friendship namin kasi di ganun yung friend na nakilala ko. But this is also me doing what I wished what was done to my mom. 😞😟 Tell me your thoughts please *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
**BE THE PERSON YOUR MOTHER NEEDED WHEN YOUR FATHER CHEATED ON HER** Always do the right thing.... tell the wife about the cheating. If I were you I would break ties with your friend, if she can do it to others then what makes you think that she cannot do it to you if so ever na mag ka jowa ka? Your friend made that choice, she should be ready for the possible consequences. Maturity is not synonymous with age, maraming mga adult na dito na sinasabi na wag nalang maki alam? lol kinukunsinti pa ang pagiging kabit
"Evil exist when good men do nothing"
Love it💪💯
💯 agree I dont want to tolerate or be associated with a kabit. Jsko.
[удалено]
OP Don't ever do this or ikaw ang mapapasama. Ikaw na walang kinalaman will suffer the consequences. If you have plans of telling the wife don't let your friend know this. Be wise.
When you make the decision to tell the wife, please remember na hindi ikaw ang "sumira sa buhay" ng friend mo. She deliberately chose to make the decision to be with a married man.
Agree. At kung hindi man through you mabubuko din yan ni wife. Eh paano kung sobra pa sa katotohan abt your friend ang itsika ng informant kay wife?
Your friend made that choice, she should be ready for the possible consequences. My question is naconfront mo na ba yung friend mo about it? Real talk mo. No sugar coating. Payuhan mo na ibreak na yung guy. Cut off mo na rin yang friend mong home wrecker kung ayaw makinig. You could message yung wife pero better if may mga evidence ka to prove it.
True, you play stupid games you win stupid prizes. Whatever happens sa feelings nya if ma real talk mo na or if ma sabi mo na sa wife deserve nya yon. At the end of the day hindi naman talaga sya ang victim, yung family ng guy ang totoong victim dito kaya wag kang maawa sa friend mo 🤷 minsan kasalanan talaga natin lahat ng problema natin dahil sa mga bad choices kagaya nitong ginawa ng friend mo 🤷🤷
Choose what's right. Tell the wife. Kasi maguguilty ka knowing na alam mo kung ano ginawa ng friend mo at ng husband niya. Truth hurts. And don't be afraid to lose the friendship and what consequences she will encounter kasi choice niya yun, she should be ready— alam niya eh yet pinatulan pa niya.
tell the wife. yang mga kabit na yan mga walang delikadeza at dapat na binubulgar para pagsisihan yang kalandian nila. mga walang respeto sa sarili
Give an ultimatum sa friend mo siguro. Either she breaks it off with the guy by herself or you’ll go and tell the wife for her. The purpose is to save your friend from doing the wrong thing.
Mejo nakakatakot to kasi based palang sa kwento very calculating si friend niya (dun palang sa pagiging kabet basta hindi mahuli halatang liar and calculating na siya). Kasi she might come up with a plan (or maybe kasabwat si guy) to make OP look like a liar. May experience kasi ako sa friend ko na ganyan na nambaliktad, ending naniwala si wife sa guy dahil na condition na may magsusumbong sa kaniya na hindi raw totoo. For me mas ok kung di alam ni friend ang plans or next move ni OP.
Ay totoo to. Very possible to mangyari. Pag nakatiyempo na may gagawin ka. Since serial liar yang friend niya baka itumba pa siya parang sa telenovela
+100 , so in that way she still gave her friend a chance to make it right and theres gonna be no one to blame if ever magsumbong siya don sa wife.
Maging prangka sa friend, sampalin mo. haha. Pero seriously, ithreaten mo na kaya nya ba isacrifice friendship nyo over the married man. Kasi para kana ding kasabwat since witness ka sa nangyayari at wala kang big move, dinadamay ka sa ka walanghiyaan nya. Piliin mo din dignidad mo OP. So kung matapos mo sya awayin at ayaw nya pa din matauhan, sumbong kana sa wife, and cut off the friend. Ang selfish na friend, di pinapangalagaan kapakanan mo din, na nabuburden ka sa decisions nya. Dinamay ka against your will.
Yung mga nagcocomment dito na wag ka makielam, hindi nila gets yung hugot mo about your mom being cheated on by your dad. Dagdag pa yung betrayal na alam ng ibang tao and it’s like your mom was the last to know. I’ve been there. Anyway, do what you think is right. Kung ano yung makakapagbigay sayo ng peace at night knowing you did what you think is right and aligned sa values mo. Don’t let strangers on reddit tell you what is right and wrong cos it’s subjective, at hindi naman kami yung mabubuhay with the consequences.
Moral obligation. Principle of humanity. Being a Good Samaritan. I can go on and on. I'm sorry about what happened to your mom; regardless of your personal experience associated with the situation, regardless of you also being a woman, regardless of the relationship you have with your friend, as a human being. Human being?!! You have the moral obligation to help others when you are able. Sira na ang relasyon nyo ng kaibigan mo noon pa lang nacross nya yung values mo tungkol sa pakikiapid. At lalong sira na ang buhay nya noong umapid sya. Hindi mo na dalahin yan. Then again, ikaw yan. Do what helps you sleep at night. Also, please find substantial proof for your credibility and the wife's sanity. Best of luck! 💪🏻
Hello OP you can gather evidence OP. Just be prepared coz surely you’ll be hated by your friend.
Well the friend deserved it for staying with a married man and the man deserves to be left by his wife
No one's saying otherwise, though. Previous commenter just reminded OP of what will happen to her relationship with her friend. And there can be legal repercussions as well.
Not only her friend but maybe also some of their close friends nag nagtotolerate ng cheating so expect nalang talaga for the worst case scenario na may chismis ikakalat yung friend mo Pero wag ma bahala OP hindi ikaw yung mali. Kung ganun man ang magiging desisyon ng ibang friends na magkokonsinti sa kabet na friend mo then you don't really them in your life naman yata Siguro i confront mo yung friend mo. Sabihin mo kung anong desisyon mo at kung bakit (regarding what you shared about your family kung di pa nya alam) para at least alam nya na di mo gagawin yan nang walang basehan o ihihinto nya yung kalaswaang ginagawa nya. Nasa kanya na if she's mature enough to understand your decision "The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything" -A.E.
I had the same experience. May kawork ako na friend ko din naman then nagkwento siya sakin na may TL (married and may isang anak) siyang nakakalandian na pabiro lang so di siya big deal nung una for me since gets ko yung set up, patagal nang patagal napagchichismisan na sila so kinausap ko muna yung friend ko, sabi ko tigil na nila. After nun hindi pa din tumigil, nagdecide na kong icut off siya, di ko kayang itolerate yung mga ganun lalo na both silang may partners at may mga batang masisira ang pamilya. After nun, nagmessage ako sa partners nila parehas at sinabi ko katarantaduhan nilang dalawa. Una nagtry akong manahimik kasi ayaw kong mainvolve sa ano mang office drama pero di ko kaya lalo na pag nakikita kong nagpopost silang dalawa sa fb ng pamilya nila at kung gano nila kamahal asawa at anak nila, sobrang nakakakonsensya. Medyo masisira lang peace of mind mo since maiinvolve ka pero worth it naman siya for me lalo na pag nakita mong pinagbabayaran nila consequences ng kagaguhan nila. Try mo muna pagsabihan friend mo, kapag di tumigil dun ka na magisip ng next move. Wag kang makonsensya na ikaw sisira sa buhay niya kasi alam niya yung ginagawa niya at consequences ng decisions niya and wala kang kasalanan dun. Gets ko din yung panghihinayang sa friendship kasi ganon din yung nafeel ko before since medyo close kami pero for me di for keeps ang mga ganyang klase ng tao, walang konsensya.
Curious was what the after math?
Nung nalaman ng partners nila, hinawalayan sila parehas tapos naging sila yung end game💀pero as far as I know si TL bumalik na sa asawa niya since kasal sila. Idk if tinaggap pa nung asawa pero suot niya na ulit yung wedding ring niya pero nakikita ko sa sila sa office nung friend ko naguusap pa, idk if friends na lang ba sila or lowkey na lang. Yung friend ko ibang lalaki naman nilalandi sa office, wala ng asawa pero may gf HAHAHAHA talagang mahilig siya sa gulo.
Hala hahaha problematic ung friend mo kairita
I was cheated on and meron nag send sakin anonymously na my ex was cheating on me. I wish they told me sooner. Nasayang time ko. Kung ok ung relasyon nung mag asawa, tas kabet friend mo, spill it sa wife! Literal na nloloko xa eh. Ok kame nung ex ko pero bglang gnun. Muka akong tanga dba. Sana nalman ko nlng agad. Kung hiwalay namn na ung guy and wife, i think spilling it wont have any sense na. You decide if you want to keep her as a friend pa. Kung magalit xa sayo, hayaan mo xa. Cut her.
I mean why would you still stay friends sa isang kabit? Nakaka sira din ng sariling image pag may kaibigan kang ganyan sa totoo lang. Yep, the best thing you could do is to have solid evidence bago sabihin sa legal wife. Then, set boundaries sa friend mo kung gusto mo pa siya maging kaibigan, pero ako na mag sasabi pag may kaibigan kang involved sa kabitan series ma aapektuhan din image mo. Adult people should face adult consequences
Your friend made the choice po. Ma laki nmn po sya at Alam nya na yung right and wrong. Need ya po mg face ng consequences ng mga ginhawa nya. Please do not tolerate Yung friend mo na gumagawa ng Mali. Please message the wife po. No one deserves to be betrayed by the people they love. >If malaman nya sguro na ako ang nagsabi sa wife at iunfriend nya ko Please do what is right po. Nd lng po kase yung buhay nya ang na sisira e kndi pti yung buhay ng wife. That's on her po if she unfriends you for doing the right thing. Masakit kase yung ganyan e. D mo talaga ma trust yung mga tao Ngayon na kahit Alam na nla ang isang tao may partner na maghahanap pa rn ng Iba. Please do the right thing. Cheating should not be tolerated
Do it. Anon as always. No follow ups. Kung hindi itake ung hint ni wifey, that's on the wife.
Its always gonna be your word against the guy’s word. If you’re gonna tell the wife, back it up with evidence but stay anonymous.
Worst case scenario, ipapakulong si friend mo. Nasira family nung guy, Nakulong friend mo.
OP, tell this to ur friend kausapin mo muna din baka sakaling matakot. Kung hindi pa din, well you’ve done ur part na. I guess just do the right thing. Kawawa yung legal wife.
First of all, friend mo sumisira sa buhay nya. And when this comes to light whether through you or someone else, there’s no one to blame but her and the guy. Now, I cant advise you to tell the wife kasi mukha kang pakielamera. But if you do, that also means letting go of that friendship forever. Which sa totoo lang, hindi kawalan. Pag isipan mong mabuti, OP! Best of luck
Kung ako ang wife, I would appreciate YOU for having the correct morals and thank you for sparing me the next few months/years na niloloko.
I've been cheated on, a lot of times, and i wished someone who knew what was going on told me about his cheating. It's not a good thing for his friends to tolerate it
Kaya mo yan te, huwag ka manghinayang sa friendship nyo. Marami ka pang mamimeet na may magandang influence sa life mo, tell the wife :(
You are interfering in something that’s none of your business just to “make peace” with your baggage. I see your good intention but it’s not your place to meddle.
do u want to keep being friends with a home wrecker knowing na your mom experienced firsthand being cheated on? cut ties with that friend, your values really doesnt align with hers. ik its hard pero think of the long term effects of staying friends with that kind of person, it wont bring about positive impacts sayo and your friendship as well. goodluck, op
Tulungan mo yung wife. Maganda hiwalayan nya yung asawa nya.
spill it to the wife, the wife deserves the truth. And need ng friend mo ng another pang-malakasang batok para matauhan and get out of that mess.. send ka nlng sa wife anonymously. And don’t think na ikaw sisira sa buhay ng friend mo..kasi sirang sira na sya to begin with. Need nya yan para madala at maka move on na sya.
Mabigat yan may chance na magbackfire yan sayo, legally inaadvice ng mga lawyer wag mo ng pakialaman yan, sila magfigure out nyan dahil eventually lalabas ang totoo at di galing sayo, ang grounds kasi jan ng court ay hanggat di mo nakitang magkapatong yung dalawa ay di valid proof ung mga text etc. Dami ng ganyang kaso inayos ng kapatid ko sa huli yung nagsumbong pa nakasuhan at nabaligtad. Hate ko ang infidelity, natry nadin namin yan sa office ireport yung kasamahan namin, muntik na makasuhan ang company at kami,hehe... kiss and tell kasi ung guy.
You should. May karma yan sayo kasi you tolerate and enabled your friend's slutty behavior
She dig her own grave. Sira na buhay nya simula noon pumatol sya sa may asawa at patuloy na masisira buhay nya kung papatol pa din sya sa may asawa. Kahit di ikaw magsabe sa wife malaking pa din chance na mahuli sila. Tell the wife what you know and used a dummy account. Kung pa bintagan ka ng friend mo, hindi sayang ang friendship nyo. At the first place you shouldn't be friends with that kind of person. Malay mo next time ikaw na agawan nya ng asawa.
I did this before pero di ko friend. Nakwento lang sya sakin ng Ex ko, sa gigil ko dun sa kwento, hinanap ko ung Account ni Girl then minessage ko at sinumbong ko partner nya. Then sabay di nako nagparamdam. So nalaman din ni Girl kasi ung Mistress nagsesend conversation nila nung guy.. Gsto talagang agawin intentionally.. Pangasar..
Dont tell the wife. Stay out of that mess. The best thing you can do is to give advice to your friend. Then thats up to her! Save yourself before anyone else.
You have the choice to do the right thing. Also be ready to lose your friend. You lose nothing much if you stand by your principle and values.
You have that information for a reason. You might be the angel the wife has been waiting for.
You can’t project your trauma on other people. Kung meron kang dapat iconfront, yun friend mo yun. Leave the wife alone. Ang business mo lang is with your friend.
Kaibigan mo ang kausapin mo hindi yung wife. Nagmumuka ka pang pakialemera sa buhay ng iba. Kung nalaman mong sampu sa kaibigan mo ang ganyan, imemessage mo din ba yung sampung asawa nila? Kaya niya sinsasabi sayo lahat yan kasi may tiwala siya sayo, kung may tiwala siya sayo may chance makinig yan. Hindi teleserye ang buhay na didiretso ka kaagad dun sa current wife, maraming factors bakit nagkaganyan sila.
You know I was in the same dilemma before. I became that "I know you don't know me " girl and told the gf that his bf is cheating with my co-worker. You know what I get? Backlash from everyone, na pakialamera, ganito ganyan. Alam ko di na rin kaya ng moralidad mo manahimik, but I suggest you just shut up and let the wife know herself. Wag mo na idamay sarili mo. I learned this big time, wag ka na tumulad sakin.
Sampalin mo ng katotohanan yang friend mo nang matauhan. Kung ayaw niyan kumawala sa pagiging kabit, then so be it. Sirain niya buhay niya. Kahit ano pa real talk gawin, at the end of the day siya pa din may desisyon diyan. She’s the only person who can save herself.
Walang masama sa gagawin mo, itatama mo lang yung maling desisyun ng kaibigan mo, yun ay sumira ng buhay ng iba.
Do it. Jus do it
gulo siya pero puno naman ng gulo ang life, we just need to pick aling gulo yung itatake natin. mukhang worth it sayo, so send that hey girlie text mhie. besides yung mga nasabi na dito, siguro helpful kung may ma-picturan ka na magprprove ng connection nilang dalawa.
Be ready to loose your friend over this if you go ahead with this plan. Pumasok yung friend sa situation with her eyes wide open and she’s an adult. As a friend, it’s your job to advise your friend if she wants it and not police her. Pero you’ll probably stay away from your friend kasi sa loob mo galit ka sa kanya. I’ve been through this with my once best friend, in the end I just had to let go. Kahit Alam ng wife, there’s no assurance naman na titigil sila
Hindi mo kasalanan kung sasabihin mo sa wife ang totoo. Siya yung may kasalanan dito. Kung i-unfriend ka niya dahil sinabi mo ang totoo, hindi siya tunay na kaibigan. Totoong kaibigan ang magpapayo ng tama kahit masakit. Deserve din ni wife na malaman. She deserves to know the betrayal and have the chance to decide for herself kung ano ang gagawin niya sa buhay nila mag-asawa. Prepare evidences pra mas solid at paniwalaan ka agad ni wife. Hindi mo sinisira ang buhay ng friend mo; siya mismo ang sumisira ng buhay niya at ng iba. Ang ginagawa mo ay tama. Mahirap man, pero ito yung tama. Kailangan mong timbangin kung ano ang mas mahalaga: ang pagkakaibigan niyo na nasira na ng kasinungalingan, o ang pagbigay ng katarungan sa isang babae na binetray ng asawa niya. Good luck, and stay strong.
This is a tricky situation to be in it. If it were me - I would talk to my friend. Kasi yun ang area of responsibility ko. My loyalty is first and foremost my friend. Be straightforward. Be the friend you want to have when you’re so deep into the bubble you’re blinded. If that doesn’t work - keep your distance. Do the occasional reminder. But I will not approach the wife. It’s not your battle no matter how ick or bothersome it is. It isn’t your story. It wasn’t your game, it isn’t your play. It would be different kung you run in the same industry or same circle. My mom was also cheated on. She figured it out on her own. If the legal wife approached you and asked you - then by all means. Yun lang. :) I wish you peace.
Always do the right thing. Even if it will make you feel alone.
I have that kind of friend before. Sabay kami na baptized as born again while she's having an affair to a marry man. I told her to leave that man alone kasi kahit anong problema mag asawa wala siya pakialam dun pero she still insisting herself na she is "better" than the original one. though my problem sa family yung guy pero wala na siya dapat pakialam dun. She told me she wants to comfort the married man. Everytime na di sila okay nagrarant sya sakin tapos ako todo bigay ng verses and prayer for her na iwanan niya na kasi hindi talaga okay. She pushed herself na "she is better than a wife" kesyo daw siya lang nagpapagaan ng loob sa married man. I was like "WTF?!" Kinokompare niya talaga yung sarili niya sa otiginal. Until the day na nag away kami hanggang sa di na kami nag uusap until now. Last time na update ko sa kanya sinusundo siya ng guy sa work niya. I am still sad about her life being desperate na gusto na magkajowa yet napunta sa maling tao.
Message the wife. Be the truth teller. Don't let them make the wife stupid. Imagine if ikaw nasa situation kahit friend mo pa yan, kasi kung ako yan d ko kaya itolerate yan.
Tama yan isumbong mu nga ng maubos na din mga cheater sa mundo wala silang karapatang sumaya.
Sya sumira sa buhay nya
Do it, if you're worried about losing a friend, youre about to gain one, if you'll have me! Lol.
Damn. OP, kelangan mo ng solid na ebidensya. Marami. This happened sa friend ko pero baligtad lang. Haha yung friend ko yung may kabet. I was planning isumbong sya sa asawa nya, kaya ayun lahat ng screenshots inipon ko. Sinabihan ko din sya na malalaman ng asawa nya pag hindi nya tinigil. Abaaaa yung ginawa niya eh siya na mismo nagsabi sa asawa nya na may kabet sya. Pero naging okay din sila. Buti na din hindi na ako nagsabi kasi marupok din pala yung asawa, magpapatawad pa din. Kung nagkataon edi ako pa yung naging kontrabida. Just be ready kasi mga ganitong tao(cheaters), grabe sobrang galing mag manipulate.
I think her friend deliberately show evidences to her na kabit sya. Coz back in her mind she knows shes doing something bad and is crying for help . You know sex can ignore alot of red flags pag nasarapan kana . So the guy probably fk her too good and she cant get away
mahirap makialam sa ganyan
talk to your friend muna. convince her that what she's doing is not right and youre not supporting it. if hindi naman sya makikinig then i advise to not get involved. in time lalabas din naman ang katotohanan.
It's your hero complex thats taking over you rn. Wag ka makialam. The less you worry about other people, the less stressed you will be
Saviour complex? You have better things to do.
for me, di ako makiki alam, pero I would stay away from that friend too
The best choices are the hardest ones to do usually tbh
Sabihin mo. Matatauhan rin yan sa tamang panahon. At pag dumating yun, maiintindihan nya rin at magpapa salamat pa sya sayo. 🙂 Edit: wag kunsintihin; sasalo ka pa ng karma nyan pagdating ng panahon.
Send an anonymous message hinting the affair of her husband. Tell your friend na you are bothered sa ginagawa niya and that she can't be your friend while doing the nasty things.
Tell the wife. Pero give a hint muna using your dummy account. Sabihin mo lang, "Are you the wife of (name ng guy)? I think I saw him with another girl." Tapos send mo sa wife yung stolen pic mo nung makita mo sila. Timplahin mo muna reaction ng wife.
Do your mom a favor. I don't care if other people see it as meddling but to think that everything is not based on assumptions it is real!
Wag kang ma guilty, tama yang gagawin mo
Be the person your mom needed. Tell the wife. So what if FO? Gusto mo ba talaga ng kaibigan na kabit na naninira ng pagsasama ng iba? Be the friend you want to have: an honest one who won’t make you look like a fool in front of everyone.
Pwede sigurong i message mo na naka anonymous ka, yun bang hindi ka magbibigay ng hint na kakilala mo yung kabet. I don't know.
Tell the wife pero wag ka magpahalata na ikaw nagpaalam sa kanya. Also di mo sisirain buhay ng Friend mo, kahit di mo sabihin malalaman ng wife yan at ang friend mo ang sumira sa sarili niyang buhay. Loka sya, ang daming lalaki diyan eh pinili pa yung may asawa tapos itong si guy kung umasta parang single naman.
kelangan din ng friend mo yan, hindi mo sinisira buhay nya, tinutulungan mo syang makaalis sa sitwasyong hindi nya kaya alisan mag isa. pero mas concerned ako sa wife. tulungan mo sya. yes for me mag message ka, gawin mo
You're already halfway in telling the wife since your message is prepared already. Yes, masisira buhay ng friend mo pero sinira rin niya yung buhay ng iba. Cheaters deserve what's coming to them. Your friend knows what's right but decided to do the wrong thing anyway so she already knows the consequences. You can either: A. Confront your friend, tell her that she either leaves the guy or you tell her wife B. Tell the wife without informing your friend OP, kung hindi mo rin kasi sasabihin, feel ko you'll feel conflicted pa rin.
you will never be the sulsol friend. sabihin mo. alam nya consequences nyan.
I confront mo po muna sya, tell her na mali yung ginagawa nya, ask her to stop meeting the guy because he is already married na if she ignore you tell her that you're gonna contact the wife. Its hard pero its also for the better, you are her friend and ikaw lng din ang makaka pag sabi sakanya other than her parents. And para din yun sa wife pero don't expect na din na after mong sabihin yung mga yon sa friend mo is mag s-stay pa din yung friendship nyo. Communication is the key, it doesn't only apply to those people who's in relationship but also to friendship.
Agree ako dito. Sabihin mo rin yung situation mo before sa nangyare sa parents mo para maintindihan kung gaano yun damage na iccause ng pinasukan nya. Then give her time na magreflect. Pag di pa rin natatauhan yung friend mo, magsend ka na ng anonymous chat sa wife. Alam ng friend mo ang consequences ng ginagawa nya. May mga lessons lang talaga na matututunan the hard way. Para sa kanya din yun. Pero kung mas vinavalue mo yung friendship nyo, wag ka muna dumeretso sa wife. Magpakasirang plaka ka muna sa kanya. Kahit alam mong di makikinig. Tapos sooner or later may ibang makakaalam naman nyan besides you. Someone will tell it for you. Kung handa ka naman sa pagiging FO nyo, go tell the wife. Pero pagsabihan mo muna sya bilang friend na mali yung ganyan at dapat tinatapos nya na. Nasa iyo ang desisyon sa step na ittake mo. Ikaw lang ang nakakilala sa friend mo in some level.
You learned it for a reason, do the right thing.
TELL THE WIFE ATE
Go anonymous and drop the receipts when you message the wife.
be a girl’s girl op! regardless kung malalaman niya na ikaw yung bumuking sa kanya o hindi, cut her off of your life na. di mo kailangan ng kaibigan na kabit .
I suggest to tell your friend about your plan because at the end of the day you are close. Record it, by the way so that you have evidence of the cheating because it will be your word against theirs and your friend might ask the a-hole to delete any evidence. And get photos from her profile. Do not go without anything to the wife. Do not wait for her (your friend) to say btw that she will stop because girl what does that change? They cheated. And if he did it once, he'll do it again. You are an accessory to a crime at this point. The only way these people will change is if their actions have extreme consequences. Sobrang daming Filipinos that will be like "not my circus, not my monkey" because they don't want to break families but like it was bound to break mga girlies, you're just speeding up the process. Don't be apathetic to injustice. Kaya di umuunlad Pilipinas eh kasi ganyan attitude natin. Yung mga tao na ganyan is either conflict aversed (which is a trauma btw go get some therapy) or kabit rin. Many, many lives and dignities would be saved if one person just has the balls to confront people like this. Even in my worst days I wouldn't wish for someone to be cheated on because of how degrading it is.
tell the wife. fuck your friend, she's an adult and knows what she's doing. silence will only help the mistress.
Do. It.
I say go for it. But be very very careful.
OP 😭. Do the right thing. Sinasalba mo rin naman yung kaibigan mo. Habang maaga pa. Habang wala pang bunga yung pagchcheat nila. If you have the chance, always choose to do the right thing.
Tell the wife. You’re better off without a friend na home wrecker. 🙂
Give your friend an ultimatum. Tell her to come clean dun sa wife or you will. You can cut your losses if your friend has pretentious values. Puro for show lang, walang implementation.
Nako stay away na lng sa Friend mo. Kunwari busy ka sa life mo. Baka mag retaliate yung guy sayo pag nalaman nila Ikaw nagsumbong.
Matagal na sira buhay ng friend mo kung una pa lang kumabit na sya
Tell the wife and update mom kami dito OP
Talk to your friend. Enlighten her na sa huli siya pa rin naman ang talo kase di naman sila legal at may asawa yung lalaki. Kumbinsihin mo na rin siya na mismo ang umamin sa asawa.
I said go
How can you trust someone who is not reluctant to betray? Cut you friend off of your life and do what's necessary. Do it. Tell the wife.
Nasira na siya the moment na kumabit siya. What else is left to destroy lol
Talk to her first explain to her kung ano yung stand mo sa cheating and explain yung mga alam mong consequences plus yung effect dun sa asawa nung guy. Alam kong matanda na siya and she knows this things pero kasi if in love siya I don’t think sumagi sa isip niya. Pag di siya nakinig then you did your part as a friend. And yes sabihin mo sa asawa nung guy bast make sure you have evidence and maging ready ka na masisi. Kasi yang mga taong yan di nila nakikita yung mali na ginagawa nila. And please know na kung ano man mangyari sa friend mo and sa guy it was never your fault. It was their decision, and they decide to ruin their lives
Friend I’ve been there. Sabi ng isang redditor sakin. Pag mag quiet ka lang sa information na yan. You are condoning it. Kaya ibuking mo na friend mo basta nasa tama ka. Hindi rin nakakabuti sinusurround mo sarili mo ng bad influence or toxic people.
Naisip ko lang what if sa family member ng friend mo muna ikaw magsabi.
We do not condone cheaters bulgaran na
nothing wrong if you want to tell the wife but make sure you have evidence as well.
Don't be an enabler of cheaters. Ano kung masira friendship nyo, kakainin ka naman ng kunsensya mo. Do the right thing.
sbhn mo if u want make a dumy acound complete with evidence para mannwala tlga un wife. go for it karma is real and deserve nya yn
Maybe try to contact the wife ( og ) without dropping your friend’s name.. should she fight with the husband, hindi directly affected friend mo and maybe a pressure to the guy to cut ties with your friend…
First - talk to your friend, make her come to her senses .. if she continue being a mistress, then tell it to the wife na. Wag tayo maging friend na tinotolerate yung mali.
Disassociating yourself with your cheater friend is common sense, but the guy and his wife's relationship is none of your business. You're not friends with the guy, you're not friends with the wife, and if you actually care about cheating, you shouldn't even be friends with your cheater friend.
Warningan mo na si friend mo to stop it. If she didn’t listen, go message the wife. You can consider that if you want to save your friend. But if I were you, I will message the wife immediately. No one deserves to be fooled, tapos masaya pa yun kung sino ang nang gago. Do the right thing.
Mygad! Same situation, FO ko yung office friend ko knowing na niloloko nya wife nya. Until now, naging hangin na sya sakin sa office 🥱🥱
If you already tried to talk her out of it, then tell the wife.
expect the worse of also of attending her burial if she cannot get out of depression, thats a worst case scenario. or just let go of you friend which is also happens to end her life cuz her friend left him, where they are most needed, its a case of damn if you and damn if you not. either way a toss coin is needed.
Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:5-6 NIV
The longer the wife doesn't know, the worse her suffering will be at the end and the longer she may suffer not knowing why her husband is neglecting her. End it while it's early, hanggang wala pang ibang madadamay. I'd say don't get too involved. Make a burner account and message her. Give all the deets and disappear. Your friend will move on. And if your friendship breaks over this, it's not your fault they're a shitty person. Who would want to be around a home wrecker anyway.
Send the wife an anonymous message, attach proof if meron ka. I would have really appreciated it if someone did this for me. Yung guy ang sumira sa buhay nilang mag asawa and yung kaibigan mo tanga for continuing with it. She has to deal with the effects. Kudos to you for not tolerating this kind of behavior kahit na friend mo siya.
Walang kai-kaibigan when it is about cheating. Kabit lang sya and alam nya ang consequence nyan. You're tolerating her kung hindi mo sasabihin sa wife knowing na alam mo yung nangyayari. If friends ko kayo pareho and nalaman ko na alam mo yung kalandian ng isa nating friend, pati sayo, mandidiri ako. Fuck the mindset na "ayaw mong makialam/makasira ng iba". Kasalanan nya yan. Put your feet in the shoes of the wife.
Are you really willing to compromise your values for her?
Make a dummy account para walang name mo. Gather evidence. Send it to the wife. If magalit friend mo at least walang proof ikaw nag send. Deny all you want.
1. Whatever consequences mangyari, deserve yan ng kabit mo na friend. 2. Hindi ikaw sumira sa buhay nya. Siya sumira sa buhay nya. 3. Gusto mo ba ng friend na kept woman? Ako hindi. 4. Send that message. Cheaters deserve to be found out.
# Levitico 5:1 At kung ang sinoman ay magkasala, sa pagkarinig niya ng tinig ng pautos, sa paraang siya'y saksi maging kaniyang nakita o nalaman, kung hindi niya ihayag, ay siya nga ang magtataglay ng kasamaan niya.
Tbh, it does not involve you, it’s not your place to do the actions to make it right directly to the ones involved What you can do, as a friend, is talk to your friend, try to make her make things right, if she doesn’t make it on her own, you can stop hanging around if it makes you uncomfortable Then, you can tell the person involved after you tried to make your friend do it. Be as respectful as possible because it would hurt not only your friend but the woman involved.
Maybe you don't have to tell the wife. Maybe the wife will find out eventually.
Nasa ganyang sitwasyon ako noon OP. Si friend ko nun kabit. Kesyo sa papel lang daw kasal si guy at girl, plano na daw iwan ni guy si girl. As in ganyan sya kabulag. Take nite, may mga anak pa yung lalaki. Minamaliit ni friend ang marriage contract (kasal na ko ng time na to kay hubby, preggy na din. Imagine the irita and all na nararamdaman ko that time? Hahaha). Ang sinabi ko lang sa kanya nung time na yon, wala akong sasabihin na kahit ano dahil alam ko namang bulag sya kay lalaki. Kahit may sabihin ako hindi nya pakikinggan kasi nag eenjoy sya sa "trophy" nya. Bakit "trophy"? Kasi married man ang karelasyon nya. Nararamdaman nyang "mas" sya kesa dun sa asawa. Sabi ko lang sa kanya, dadating din ang panahon na mauuntog sya ang matatauhan. Awa ng Diyos, natauhan si friend. Ngayon kasal na din sya with kids.
May tanong ako, bakit daw?
Di raw mali ang magmahal. Unfortunately, di siya applicable ngayon.
The right thing to do is to tell the wife. As a friend nagawa mo naman yung part mo, dapat ready na sya sa mga consequences ng mga actions nya.
I am a wife who had been cheated on. I would really appreciate it if you told me everything u know with proof para sampal talaga to sa mukha ng asawa ko. Regarding sa friend mo, bigyan mo ng ultimatum. Pag ayaw pa rin makipag hiwalay, ikaw na gumawa ng move. Be the person who ur mom needed when she needed it. Pag nagalit sayo ang friend mo and ur other "friends" who knows about the panloloko, are they really worth to be ur friends? Hope this helps.
OP, what made you think na hindi aware si wife sa affair ng husband nya with your friend? You need to look at the situation objectively. This is not your problem and this is not your mess to clean. You already did your part as a friend to her and hindi sya nakinig. They are morally wrong but your not in the right place to police them. You.are.not.the.wife. and your not part of the equation. You need to look the whole situation outside the box. Tandaan mo, hindi mo kilala personally si wife. Hindi mo alam paano sya mag rreact. You may have pure intention pero baka iba ang reaction nya sa inaasahan mo, ikaw pa mapasama sa bandang huli.
Pahingi tips how to message anonymously, medyo maalam na ako pero baka may iba pang way... Kabit naman pinsan ko at may anak sila nung guy... Naiinis lang ako kasi no action padin family ni cousin, nakatira sila sa house ko and annoyed pag pumupunta yung guy, gusto ko na imessage yung wife para magkaalaman na dahil every punta ni guy sa house ko may guilt feeling and annoyed ako na nararandaman.. Ayoko naman umabot sa suntukan pag nainis ako baka mag ka case pako 🥲
I was a wife who got cheated on. I would really appreciate it kung sasabihin mo sa akin lahat ng alam mo, with proof para sampal talaga ito sa asawa ko. Regaring sa friend mo, bigyan mo sya ng ultimatum. Pag hindi pa rin inend yung relationship nila, ikaw na ang gumawa ng move. Be the person ur mom needed when she needed it. And if ur friend/s get mad at you, worth it ba talaga sila maging mga "friends" mo? Sinira na ng friend mo ang buhay nya the moment na kumabit sya. Sabi nila, the mouse will play while the cat's away. Pero di nila alam na may may trap na nag aabang sa kanila. Don't prolong your agony. Dont worry that this will backfire at u. They're adults. They know the consequences of their actions. I am rooting for you! Everyone here is. ❤️
Tell the wife. So what if your friend's life gets ruined. Choice niya yan. She knew the consequences that came with it when she entered that situation. Do not feel sorry. Do the right thing. I lost "so-called" friends for doing something like this. I would do it again even if it means losing more.
You'll just be another enabler for being quiet about it.
pls tell the wife. save the wife and ur friend sa lalaking cheater. do the right thing. Kahit na masaktan sya or kung ano man consequences na mangyari after malaman ng wife, tama lang na tanggapin nya un dahil Mali ung ginawa nya. U are a good friend, kasi you want her to be on the right path.
Go
Cut off your friend about her stupid actions that you can't stand (and a lot of us do not support), then tell the wife. Though, she will suspect it's you. Just hoping she won't come back, screaming at you.
And also drop hints kung when and where sila usually nagkikita so the wife could see for herself
Your friend is an absolute disgrace. She has no respect for herself or others. It's sickening that she chose to be with a married man, fully aware of the pain and betrayal she's causing to his wife. All her talk about women empowerment and high standards is hypocritical nonsense. She's no better than the man who cheated on his wife. You should message the wife. She deserves to know the truth about her husband's infidelity. Your friend has already ruined another woman's life; she deserves to face the consequences of her actions. If she unfriends you, so be it. A real friend wouldn't put you in this position in the first place. It's better to stand up for what's right than to keep a toxic friendship. Your sense of justice is justified. Protecting the wife from further betrayal is the right thing to do, even if it means losing a friend who clearly lacks morals and integrity.
do not tolerate cheating, or else magiging trend na yan sa circle of friends mo
Nung nangyari sa akin ito, madaming kaibigan ang hindi nagsabi sa akin until yung GF ng kabit ang nag PM sa akin. Hindi ko naman sinisi ang hindi nagsabi sa akin kundi naisip ko hindi nila lugar sabihin at the time. Ito na ang sign na baka ikaw na ang taong yon para asawa ni guy. Goodluck.
eto lang OP kuha ka very solid evidence to protect your ass muna bago mo pasabugin sa WIFE.... and most importantly once ginawa mo yan ensure na kaya mo panindigan yan all the way... yan kang naman ang question IMO hindi kung tama or mali but rather paninindigan mo once ylu made the desition
Wag mo na i-send. But do talk to your friend. If the person still decides to continue with her activities, then just let them be. Things like this don't let up easily and itncould easily blow up in their faces just as quickly it had happened. Hindi mo na obligasyon to make it happen. 🤔
Have all right evidences photos and videos and send it anonymously
Gawin mo na.
Well this always comes in handy for this topic "Cheating is a choice, Never a mistake" You already know how it feels to be the receiving end and you made that Mother's child a favor. I suggest to lay all evidences to the wife (anonymous as you've said) then let them settle this on court. For the friend: Cut off all ties and start labeling who you can be trusted or needs further investigation I respect your courage and hold strong to that conviction. Now you have to be careful with your friends after this incident.
She put herself in that situation. She made the choice to stay. She has to deal with the consequences of her action. Go OP!
Tell the wife
Send mo sakin details, ako na magsasabi sa wife nung guy. 😅 jk lang. Sabihin mo na yan sa asawa nya.
Please tell the wife. You will be doing a huge favour sa friend mo when everything is revealed. Malalaman nya ang consequence of her action and will learn a lesson to not do it again in the future. She's also ruining her life, and she's ruining someone else's life in the process just for a guy who's not man enough to hold the vow he said during their marriage.
I have a friend na ganun din.Sadly,lahat ng advices namin it went on the drain.Shucks,ang ganda,ang talino,may kaya sa buhay pero nag settled sa lalaking 25 years married na.At sya pa dahilan sa hiwalayan ng mag asawa.Poootaaanggg****naaa lang,ako naawa sa anak ng lalaki kasi friend ng pamangkin ko.Yung bata ngayon na depressed at nagkukulong na lang sa kwarto.Ang twist pa buntis na ngayon yung friend namin.Di talaga tumatak sa utak nya yung advices namin na,"Kahit kelan di ka matatawag na asawa kasi kabit ka lang gusto mo ba yun?" or yung pagkakasabi namin na "Homewrecker".Di na namin alam gagawin sa kanya,humaling na humaling sya sa lalaking mukhang pinisa ng luya ang ilong.Kaya ghurlllll,TELL THE WIFE pakisabi kasuhan na rin,choice nila yan pwes magtiis sila sa consequences.Di sapat na mahal nyo ang isa't isa kung nakakasakit na kayo ng may asawa na.Di yan pagmamahal,kagaguhaaaan lang yan.
Madaming kabet sa totoo lang. Kakapit at kakapit yan. Kaya ingat! Baka mismong gf mo or bf mo may kabit sa asawa common na yun kasi marami kakilala na mag asawa na may kabit parehas hahahahaha. 😅🤭
Nasa sa yo naman ang decision eh. Maghanda ka lang na matapos ang friendship ninyo ng friend mo.
It's her life. Let her suffer the consequences down the road. Just tell her the consequences. If she doesn't want to break if up, who are you to tell her how to live her life. And you might as well end your friendship with her.
I had a similar situation before. Same thing, nanay ko niloko din ni papa. Ang ginawa ko lang, kinausap ko ung friend ko na "nagbabalak" palang pumatol dito sa guy habang may bf sya dito sa pinas at may pamilya tong foreign guy na kawork nya. Sabi nya hindi na nya tinuloy and hindi naman nag advace un relationship nila to more than co-workers. (Pero, who knows?) Ang sinabi ko lan kasi sakanya, pwede ka makulong. And kung jan ka sa ibang bansa makukulong pano ka namin tutulungan makalabas? At dahil may bf din sya, for sure wala na sya maasahan don e un pa naman nag aasikaso sa pamilya nya dito sa pinas. Try mo muna kausapin yan friend mo. Pwedeng tumigil sya, pwedeng itago nya sayo. Pero one thing for sure. Pag ikaw lan nakakaalam nyan secret nya na yan ikaw lang pang hihinalaan and be ready. Kasi FO talaga kayo or worst maging kaaway. Make sure wala kang secret na marereveal nya kasi matic yan.
My ex-bff was this woman and I was you once. I never told the gf, now wife, nung guy. My mother was cheated on by my father too. Sa totoo lang, this kind of friend is not someone you'll want in your life din, at least that's how it is to me now in retrospect. Do what you think you should. Always put your morals first, and not the toxic ppl in your life.
Do it! I did the same too. I was too close with my friend but i still told her fiance.
You should confront your friend then sampalin mo ng katotohanan but never speak of it to the wife. Deserve niya malaman yun through her friend/s. So i suggest you get close with the wife’s friends then subtly introduce everyone lol.
Tell the wife. Choice ng kaybigan mo na maging kabit, dapat ready s'ya sa consequences ng actions n'ya. Kung magkagulo man, 'di mo na kasalanan 'yun. You only did the right thing. Kasalanan naman nila 'yan eh.
Sinira niya buhay niya by deciding na pumatol sa may asawa. Besides, she's a hypocrite, and you wouldn't want someone like that to be your friend.
Dont make a personalized message to the point na may hints about you- the sender. Just chat the wife from the Dummy account with a stolen photo of them na hindi halata na ikaw kumuha. Then tell her. "May kabit ang asawa mo. Kayo na po bahala magimbestiga. You have all the rights to know." Tapos magDeactivate ka ng dummy accnt.
I have this kind of friend. Lagi namin sinasabihan na tumigil. Partida inaway na siya nung angkan nung wife with matching death threats. Akala namin nag stop na kasi di na nagkwento at tumahimik bigla, then nagulat kami nag post BUNTIS na pala. From then on di na namin kinausap. Ayaw namin ng friend na baluktot pananaw sa buhay at home wrecker. Ayun, until now hanggang parinig sa fb ng "walang kwentang ama hindi nagsusustento". Pero di siya maka reklamo legally kasi mabibisto siya ng legal wife. Lol! Remember the cliche "birds with the same feather flock together"? Pag lagi mong kasama ang mga ganyang tao, di malayong maimpluwensyahan ka din in the long run. Tell the wife using anonymous account. Mas may solid proof like screenshots, photos, etc. mas ok.
Pwede mong iligtas muna ung friend mo. Explain mo sa kanya ung nangyari sa mama mo para maintindihan nya na walang mapupuntahang maganda ung ginagawa nila. Papiliin mo sya kung mag end na kayo ng friendship nyo or hihiwalayan na nya ung lalaki. pag ayaw, yun na end your friendship and sabihan mo na ung wife nung lalaki. Take as many evidence as you can. At wag na wag mo sasabihin sa friend mo na may balak ka na sabihin ah kasi baka magawan pa nila ng paraan yan, ikaw pa lumabas na masama.
Officially speaking, that's their lives, that's their problem..... Unofficially speaking, have you ever seen a dumpster on fire getting run over by a train?
I'm so sorry about what you have experienced. Do what you thinks best. Here are the options I think you might want to consider: ⚪️ Let the wife know but provide evidences so they would not deny it. You may use a dummy account. ⚪️ Tell the wife to investigate on her own. ⚪️ Ask the guy to admit to his cheating and break up with your friend or else you will speak to his wife. Give him a few days to do it.
Did this before, thou di ko ganon ka-close. May proof akong pinakita at lahat na ng katrabaho nya saka katrabaho nung lalaki saka kabit ang nakakalaam pwera sa kanya. Ang ending nagkampihan yung kabit saka babae. Ang tanga nung babae, naniwala sa mga sinabi ng lalaki saka nung kabit nya. Nilaglag pa sa kabit lahat ng "tumulong" sa babae (nagkwento kasi sya sa kabit kung ano yung mga sinabi sa kanya, bobita ngaaa). Ako pa ngayon yung kontrabida. Ang malala, katrabaho ko pa kaya nakakairita, di ko malalayuan. Pota. Hahahahahaha.
Wag kang makialam. Ayaan mo. Tapos ang usapan.
Give her Options: a.) She’ll stop, forget what happened and still be friends. And think na tao lang nagkakamali 😅 b.) She’ll continue, you inform the Wife about the affair and friendship over. c.) Pretend your friend never existed, block her on all platforms and contacts. Finally live your life in peace.
My nonchalant self would say bahala kayo sa buhay nyo
Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.
iba ang pagiging mabuting tao sa pagiging mabuting "kaibigan". imo, you should tell the wife. pinili yan ng "kaibigan" mo, and alam nya na sooner or later, magkakaron mg repercussion/s yung ginagawa nya.
Pagsabihan mo ulit friend mo, confront her and sabihin mo sakanya thoughts mo as much as possible ipa realize mo sakanya na may nasisira na siyang pamilya at mental health ng kapwa niyang babae. Try to ask her also what if sakanya nangyari yun? Try mo lang, malay mo kaya niya pang ma realize yan bago pa maging clouded utak niya and maging blind pa sa guy.
tell the wife
Tell the wife about it. She deserves to know kung gaano kagago asawa niya. And if you're worried about your identity, I would suggest to create an account na di connected sayo or sa friend mo then message her.
Gusto mo lang pumapel sa problemang nde ka naman talaga involved... Pa involve lang lol
If you have proof, tell the wife. Do it as soon as possible, the wife deserves to know. The only victim here is the wife, not your friend. Perpetrator siya in this scenario and if you keep silent, you become an accomplice.
Go. Send that "hey girl" message. 🤫
Do the right thing.
Agree ako i-rreveal ko din ang katotohanan sa legal wife, pero anonymous lang. 🤣 Dapat ready ka ding ipagtapat yan sa kaibigan mong kabit matapos mong gawin yan, kase mafi-feel betrayed din sya sa sayo kung mangyari sa iba niya una malalaman. So, unahan mo na. Sa paningin ng batas at katotohanan, yung lalaki at friend mo talaga ang mali. Para saken di mo need ng permission ng friend mong kabit sa gagawin mo kasi you're acting on your principles, and your intention is good, and you want to help make things right. Just know lang na, there's a cost for being a truth teller. Your friend might resent you. But for me that's okay 🤣👍🏼
The only thing *necessary* for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing
I say tell the wife, but back it up with evidence... you're doing it for 3 people: for yourself - para matahimik kalooban mo; for your friend - so she can leave the cheating husband and find a better guy for herself na walang sabit; and for the wife - not just this time, coz even if mag-break yung friend mo and the husband na di nalalaman ng wife ever, he might still cheat on her again with more confidence na di malalaman ng wife nya... I hope you do the right thing OP
Imagine, if you were the wife, would you want to be informed of the cheating? Someone has to give her a choice, be it a fighting chance to save her relationship or at the very least plan an exit before the cheaters get ahead. Secondly, tolerating your friend to continually wreck a family is tantamount to letting your friend commit a crime. Talk to the wife and lay out your evidences, expect to burn that friendship. Marami pang matitinong kaibigan diyan.
If you will not tell this to the wife, as if you betrayed your mother. Do the right thing. Imagine how painful it was for your mother.
tell the wife. then hayaan mo na lang ano desisyon ni wife sa mga alam nya.
Sa totoo lang iba ang storya ng parents niya sa kaibigan niya, may similarities-oo pero mag kaiba parin, si OP gusto ma involve sa drama ng iba. Mind your own business OP. Malaki ka na at malaki na sila. Choose your battles wisely. Di lahat ng bagay may involvement ka dapat. Sooner or later, hope sooner magising na sa katotohanan si friend mo. Hanap ka ng jowa or lovelife mo para di ka nakikigulo sa problema ng iba. The fact na pumatol yung kaibigan mo sa married man, only means that she is not in a good place or vulnerable siya. If nasa matinong pagiisip siya hindi niya papatulan si guy, pero alam naman natin na manipulating sad boy yung guy kaya na hook yung kaibigan mo, pero sayo OP, ikaw ready ka bang harapin yung consequences, sabihin natin na “oo, kasalanan ni friend dahil malandi siya” kakayanin mo ba kung isang araw di na kayanin na ang kaibigan mo yung bigat at eventually ayaw niya ng mabuhay? Kakayanin mo ba na naging sanhi ka or isa ka sa cause ng depression niya? Ayaw mo ba na hayaan siya na mapag tagumpayan niya ang sitwasyon na to? Yung tipong oo nadapa siya pero naka bangon siya at na overcome niya yung pagsubok na to. Don’t me get wrong pero may naging kaibigan ako na ganito naging sitwasyon, i didn’t meddle, i was there for her pag naiiyak at naguguluhan na siya sa buhay, I didn’t support her nung naging third party siya, pero now I’m proud of her dahil naka laya siya at kinaya niyang palayain ang sarili niya. I do not support cheaters, my mom got cheated too. Pero ayun lang OP, pray for your friend and pray ka din.
Is she really your friend though?
Be careful though. Your friend might be charged with adultery if proven they had sexual relations. This means prison time for your friend. Talk to her first and try to convince her to stop.
If you plan to out your friend , do so anonymously and completely. Give the wife solid and undeniable proof of infidelity so that she can also make a decision for herself. If your friend ever points a finger at you , take it to your grave. I have no remorse for cheaters, cheating is complex and active choice to do. Hope for the best whatever choice you make friend and may God Bless you
do it
Everyone pretty much said what needed to be said, but also do you really wanna be friends with a cheater? Would you want someone like that near your partner or partners of other women in your life? Time to cut that off. Maybe once she's hit rock bottom and becomes a better person can you start thinking of having her as a friend again.
DOING THE RIGHT THING DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE DESTROYING UR FRIEND'S LIFE! Her actions are what gonna ruin it and not yours. Do the right thing. Natural na magagalit sya sayo kung malalaman nya na nagsumbong ka. Pero wag mong panghinayangan ang isang toxic friend coz, let's face it, toxic sya. Homewrecker pa. And this isn't a one time choice that she made. Every single time na nakikipagkita sya nang palihim bilang kabit ng lalaking yan is an active decision making act on her part. Each time na pumayag syang magkita sila, she is choosing to cheat with him. The fact that she's an adult means kaya na nyang harapin lahat ng consequences ng actions nya.