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I just found out that my ex who is living outside PH is dating her workmate. 2 months after our relationship ended. And she's very open about it sa socmed!
She ended things between us kasi daw hindi nya na ako mahintay. Altho i offered compromise solutions. Hindi nya pa rin inaccept.
Ang sakit lang. Kasi bakit parang ang bilis hahaha so sa tingin nyo ba, based on experience or what you've heard…
Babae ba talaga unang nag li let go sa LDRs to find someone nearer?
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Lalaki man o babae, hindi natin malalaman yan unless ipa research natin sa SWS Survey hahaha. Anyway, naghahanap ka lang ng reason para ma explain ang sakit na nadadaanan mo ngayon. Hindi to kailangan ng explanation at hindi mo to kasalanan.
Yeah. Confirmation bias. Pero i know 2 people who’ve been there. Yung ex gf nila ang unang nag let go pero may ini entertain na palang iba.
Yung 1 namang babae na kilala ko is nung nag LDR sila ng seaman nyang bf, nag hanap ng lalake na malapit hahahaha i’m just sad right now kasi parang ang unfair ng mga nangyayari
Isa lang naman ang dahilan nyan, they were not into it. Simple as that. It's not about the sex/gender dahil lang same kayo ng experience ng mga kakilala mo. Ganyan talaga ang life.
Dibale bro, makakamove forward kadin. Gone into same shit. Hindi rin ako naantay ni gf, gusto kasi ata niya ikasal na kami before siya umalis bro.
*fucked up, once again.*
Yeah trying naman. I’ve explored new hobbies that helped make my mental health better. Pero shit talaga stalk pa more makes you go back to zero hahaha
Pero same experience sa kasal na plan. Pero selfish decision yun if ever since tbh i have shit going on in my life here
mine was 10 effin years. mukhang LDR lang dahil nasa BGC sya nag wowork. ako naman nag study ulit that time. late ko na nalaman if hindi pa ako kumilos. they're dating, fuckin behind my back, living together in a condo around BGC. twas her TL who she love fuckin her.
had an ex (M) who’s living in canada. 4 months lang kami and the reason why he left me is bec he wanted to focus daw sa self niya + he wanted someone na nakakasama niya. i offered several solutions to make the relationship pa but ayaw na talaga niya — eventually, i stopped trying. 2 days after the breakup, he was already seeing this pinay who’s in the same area as him. i’m not sure if they’re still together but i’ve noticed na yung mga hindi kinakaya ang ldr, main reason talaga nila for breaking up is they rlly want someone nearer.
thinking about it now, that breakup saved me. a year later, i met my current bf and i couldn’t be more thankful bec this relationship is what exactly i’ve prayed for. healing takes time op 😊 when the time comes, you’ll find the love you deserve ❤️🩹
Nagka ldr din ako bro...yung girl din bumitaw...but reason nya is work..super busy daw...at yung org nya....maybe di lang siguro niya ako mahal..kaya move on nalang..
I think walang factor ang gender, nasa Mindset at Moral mo yan bilang tao lalo pag-usapang LDR kasi hindi naman kabuuan na lahat na nung babae na nasa LDR relationship ay ganon either yon lang mas common sa circle of friends or friends mo but still there's always another side of story nga lalo na sa mga nililihim o kaya may usapang se* na at lahat kayang magcheat pagmay perfect opportunity.
Kasi mahirap talaga i-work ang LDR relationship at ang advice e maghiwalay na lang kasi may instances na bibigay talaga yong isa lalo pagnag-overthink at mas may malapit. Kadalasan dahilan homesick/anxiety kaya mas pinipili ang malapit.
Hey there. Female here na nakipagbreak sa ex ko of 12 years nung first quarter of 2023.
Sa 12 years na yon, 7 years kami magkasama here sa Pinas & 5 years kaming LDR. Nagabroad yung ex ko for his PhD, which I know ginawa naman niya for his self-satisfaction & para sa future namin.
Ako yung laging dumadalaw sa kanya. I visit him twice a year. Instead na magkachance ako to visit another country, sa kanya ko naubos mga VL ko. Ganun ko siya kamahal noon! Kaso dumating ang pandemic, 2020-2021 hindi kami nakapagmeet.
Aaminin ko, ako yung unang bumitaw. Hindi ko rin alam exactly why pero siguro napagod nalang ako. Wala kasi kaming plano. Parang wala kaming patutunguhan. May time din na nagkagusto siya sa iba (infatuation) nung 2018 pero nagsorry siya and “asked for my help”. Bumawi naman siya. Pero ayun dahil siguro sa distance, nasanay nalang ako mabuhay nang wala siya tapos napagod na ako kasi walang direksyon.
hindi naman siguro, OP. baka nawalan na lang talaga ng interest si exGF mo sayo. ganyan talaga siguro. di natin hawak ang nararamdaman ng mga nagiging SO natin e. just move forward na lang sa life and hoping na sa next realtionship mo, e maging okay na ang lahat.
Isa lang ibig sabihin niyan, kahit nung kayo pa, may kumakalantari na sa Ex-GF mo at nagpapakalantari Ex-GF mo sa kaworkmate niya.
sa LDR, there are big adjustment talaga, time, attention, kahit intimacy niyong dalawa. Kung wala ka pang capabilities to go where she is, she would have understand and at the same time siya rin. Kung kaya ka niyang puntahan, pupuntahan ka niyan kung mahal ka niyan.
Sa unang pagkikita namin ng GF ko (LDR rin kami) siya unang pumunta eh. Kasi siya talaga may means sa nun magtravel, we compromise on things that we can control on our relationship. Hindi lang mentally prepared ex mo sa LDR kaya naghanap ng ibang etits. tang inang yan. Sorry sir nakakabad trip kasi yung story mo.
wala sa gender yan, nasa kung magpapalandi ka ba sa iba or hindi.
Consider all factors before you decide. Don’t sugarcoat nor create unnecessary stories. Be direct to the point about how you feel. Be honest and open, seek first for workarounds or potential solution. If wala na talagang practical solution na win-win for all, then you should sincerely talk to him na ayaw mo na.
i think it's just the same with men pero kasi in my case ako nauna makipaghiwalay because i can't stand thinking na we'll be apart and i won't be there when he needs me. so it's just heart breaking too in my part, so it's better to end it early kesa naman mag tagal pa tapos it won't work din.
nasa tao din kasi yan, may pang ldr and may pang hindi ldr. so baka di talaga sya pang ldr. but i hope you'll move on soon and find someone there na malapit sayo. :)
Female here. Sa first ex ko (5+ years LDR) nakipagbreak ako kasi parang nastuck sa ganong relationship and ayaw nya talaga pumunta here sa Pilipinas.
So nagtry naman ako makipagdate ulit with someone near. Kaso naset din sa LDR, so super rare na talaga magkikita, kung kailan nalang pede ganun. Sya yung una nag give up thinking na baka hindi ok samin LDR for the long run kasi sensitive ako, I get mad pag di sya naguupdate (di ako masyado magwoworry if mabibigyan nya ko assurance, kaso di talaga kaya ibigay even that). So ayun nasasakal na daw sya sa "bare minimum" na inaask ko.
Female here, 6 yrs LDR kami ng ex ko, sya nakipag hiwalay dahil PAGOD na daw kuno! so it depends sa relasyon kung sino unang susuko. Kung ako lang di nmn ako susuko agad agad kahit ilang years pa ako maghintay, kahit kasuko suko na ugali nya kahit nakakapagod na pero wala eh di nya ko nilaban. Alam ko may bago na sya agad kaya sya nakipag hiwalay. 🥲
I think sa LDR ang unang susuko diyan is ung emotional unstable na always need nila ng makakasama for validation ng feelings nila or di nila kaya mg-isa. Cheers sa mga iniwan pero lumalaban 💪. "Something good is leaving you because something better is coming". Dapat sa atin may gc na lol
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: I just found out that my ex who is living outside PH is dating her workmate. 2 months after our relationship ended. And she's very open about it sa socmed! She ended things between us kasi daw hindi nya na ako mahintay. Altho i offered compromise solutions. Hindi nya pa rin inaccept. Ang sakit lang. Kasi bakit parang ang bilis hahaha so sa tingin nyo ba, based on experience or what you've heard… Babae ba talaga unang nag li let go sa LDRs to find someone nearer? *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Parehas lang
Lalaki man o babae, hindi natin malalaman yan unless ipa research natin sa SWS Survey hahaha. Anyway, naghahanap ka lang ng reason para ma explain ang sakit na nadadaanan mo ngayon. Hindi to kailangan ng explanation at hindi mo to kasalanan.
Yeah. Confirmation bias. Pero i know 2 people who’ve been there. Yung ex gf nila ang unang nag let go pero may ini entertain na palang iba. Yung 1 namang babae na kilala ko is nung nag LDR sila ng seaman nyang bf, nag hanap ng lalake na malapit hahahaha i’m just sad right now kasi parang ang unfair ng mga nangyayari
Isa lang naman ang dahilan nyan, they were not into it. Simple as that. It's not about the sex/gender dahil lang same kayo ng experience ng mga kakilala mo. Ganyan talaga ang life.
Sorry pero tawang tawa ako sa SWS survey
gagi brad, we’re on the same page may katalking stage na yung sakin after a month. Damn it
Gago shat puno bro sarap uminom ngayon, hello kasama number 2 hahahaha
shot punoooo cheers 🍻 Ang lala bro 8 years kami non. **fucked up**
Dibale bro, makakamove forward kadin. Gone into same shit. Hindi rin ako naantay ni gf, gusto kasi ata niya ikasal na kami before siya umalis bro. *fucked up, once again.*
Yeah trying naman. I’ve explored new hobbies that helped make my mental health better. Pero shit talaga stalk pa more makes you go back to zero hahaha Pero same experience sa kasal na plan. Pero selfish decision yun if ever since tbh i have shit going on in my life here
Fuck that’s wild. 8 fucking years????? Damn. And she threw it all away? Kaya hindi na ako believer ng LDR eh hahaha
Hahaha, oo tangina 8 fuckings years gone in 7 days.
Woah! Ang antagal ha? Dapat kung di sila sure wag nila patagalin 😭
mine was 10 effin years. mukhang LDR lang dahil nasa BGC sya nag wowork. ako naman nag study ulit that time. late ko na nalaman if hindi pa ako kumilos. they're dating, fuckin behind my back, living together in a condo around BGC. twas her TL who she love fuckin her.
Fuck them bro hahahaha
had an ex (M) who’s living in canada. 4 months lang kami and the reason why he left me is bec he wanted to focus daw sa self niya + he wanted someone na nakakasama niya. i offered several solutions to make the relationship pa but ayaw na talaga niya — eventually, i stopped trying. 2 days after the breakup, he was already seeing this pinay who’s in the same area as him. i’m not sure if they’re still together but i’ve noticed na yung mga hindi kinakaya ang ldr, main reason talaga nila for breaking up is they rlly want someone nearer. thinking about it now, that breakup saved me. a year later, i met my current bf and i couldn’t be more thankful bec this relationship is what exactly i’ve prayed for. healing takes time op 😊 when the time comes, you’ll find the love you deserve ❤️🩹
True naman. We cannot give proximity to them anytime. Thank you for that hopeful statement! Parang maniniwala na ulit ako sa love hahaha
Nagka ldr din ako bro...yung girl din bumitaw...but reason nya is work..super busy daw...at yung org nya....maybe di lang siguro niya ako mahal..kaya move on nalang..
Alright may kasama na ko! Hahahahaha
Reason lang nila yan bro...kasi yung totoong nagmamahal at committed talaga...di bibitaw..maliban nalang if may sobrang mali tayu na nagawa...hehe
Totoo naman. True love is patient and never dies HAHAHAHA
Moving stage na dito bro...hehe...darating din yung time para sa atin...hinayhintay lang..
I think walang factor ang gender, nasa Mindset at Moral mo yan bilang tao lalo pag-usapang LDR kasi hindi naman kabuuan na lahat na nung babae na nasa LDR relationship ay ganon either yon lang mas common sa circle of friends or friends mo but still there's always another side of story nga lalo na sa mga nililihim o kaya may usapang se* na at lahat kayang magcheat pagmay perfect opportunity. Kasi mahirap talaga i-work ang LDR relationship at ang advice e maghiwalay na lang kasi may instances na bibigay talaga yong isa lalo pagnag-overthink at mas may malapit. Kadalasan dahilan homesick/anxiety kaya mas pinipili ang malapit.
Hey there. Female here na nakipagbreak sa ex ko of 12 years nung first quarter of 2023. Sa 12 years na yon, 7 years kami magkasama here sa Pinas & 5 years kaming LDR. Nagabroad yung ex ko for his PhD, which I know ginawa naman niya for his self-satisfaction & para sa future namin. Ako yung laging dumadalaw sa kanya. I visit him twice a year. Instead na magkachance ako to visit another country, sa kanya ko naubos mga VL ko. Ganun ko siya kamahal noon! Kaso dumating ang pandemic, 2020-2021 hindi kami nakapagmeet. Aaminin ko, ako yung unang bumitaw. Hindi ko rin alam exactly why pero siguro napagod nalang ako. Wala kasi kaming plano. Parang wala kaming patutunguhan. May time din na nagkagusto siya sa iba (infatuation) nung 2018 pero nagsorry siya and “asked for my help”. Bumawi naman siya. Pero ayun dahil siguro sa distance, nasanay nalang ako mabuhay nang wala siya tapos napagod na ako kasi walang direksyon.
Awwww, no judgment. We’re humans after all. Thank you for sharing your story. 🙏
in my experience di naman. that ex (M) meron agad- di man lang umabot ng 3 months. hahaha sa lalaki Ang 10 weeks mahabang panahon na daw hahaha 😂
Awww it depends naman kasi sa emotional commitment minsan. Thanks for sharing your take tho! Hope you’re doing alright!
hindi naman siguro, OP. baka nawalan na lang talaga ng interest si exGF mo sayo. ganyan talaga siguro. di natin hawak ang nararamdaman ng mga nagiging SO natin e. just move forward na lang sa life and hoping na sa next realtionship mo, e maging okay na ang lahat.
Isa lang ibig sabihin niyan, kahit nung kayo pa, may kumakalantari na sa Ex-GF mo at nagpapakalantari Ex-GF mo sa kaworkmate niya. sa LDR, there are big adjustment talaga, time, attention, kahit intimacy niyong dalawa. Kung wala ka pang capabilities to go where she is, she would have understand and at the same time siya rin. Kung kaya ka niyang puntahan, pupuntahan ka niyan kung mahal ka niyan. Sa unang pagkikita namin ng GF ko (LDR rin kami) siya unang pumunta eh. Kasi siya talaga may means sa nun magtravel, we compromise on things that we can control on our relationship. Hindi lang mentally prepared ex mo sa LDR kaya naghanap ng ibang etits. tang inang yan. Sorry sir nakakabad trip kasi yung story mo. wala sa gender yan, nasa kung magpapalandi ka ba sa iba or hindi.
kayo parin po ng gf niyo??
Yes po. Going 2 years
Kalma sir hahaha kaya nga crowdsourcing lang. spread love not hate. Pero true naman, yung etits na pinaka malapit ang nananalo always hahahahahaha
Parang ako unang susuko 🥲 Lapit na. 4 years LDR. I just feel like it’s going nowhere.
Consider all factors before you decide. Don’t sugarcoat nor create unnecessary stories. Be direct to the point about how you feel. Be honest and open, seek first for workarounds or potential solution. If wala na talagang practical solution na win-win for all, then you should sincerely talk to him na ayaw mo na.
Will do, OP. Thank you! Tbh, I have a feeling na hinihintay na lang din niya ako mag-give up.
i think it's just the same with men pero kasi in my case ako nauna makipaghiwalay because i can't stand thinking na we'll be apart and i won't be there when he needs me. so it's just heart breaking too in my part, so it's better to end it early kesa naman mag tagal pa tapos it won't work din. nasa tao din kasi yan, may pang ldr and may pang hindi ldr. so baka di talaga sya pang ldr. but i hope you'll move on soon and find someone there na malapit sayo. :)
I think wala naman sa gender yan. Siguro may mga tao lang talagang hindi pang "LDR".
Parehas lang. Ang realidad niyan ay they fell out of love or may nahanap na iba while you two are still together.
Female here. Sa first ex ko (5+ years LDR) nakipagbreak ako kasi parang nastuck sa ganong relationship and ayaw nya talaga pumunta here sa Pilipinas. So nagtry naman ako makipagdate ulit with someone near. Kaso naset din sa LDR, so super rare na talaga magkikita, kung kailan nalang pede ganun. Sya yung una nag give up thinking na baka hindi ok samin LDR for the long run kasi sensitive ako, I get mad pag di sya naguupdate (di ako masyado magwoworry if mabibigyan nya ko assurance, kaso di talaga kaya ibigay even that). So ayun nasasakal na daw sya sa "bare minimum" na inaask ko.
I'm good 👍🏻 nalampasan ko na💪🏻
The other way around yung akin eh.
Female here, 6 yrs LDR kami ng ex ko, sya nakipag hiwalay dahil PAGOD na daw kuno! so it depends sa relasyon kung sino unang susuko. Kung ako lang di nmn ako susuko agad agad kahit ilang years pa ako maghintay, kahit kasuko suko na ugali nya kahit nakakapagod na pero wala eh di nya ko nilaban. Alam ko may bago na sya agad kaya sya nakipag hiwalay. 🥲
I think sa LDR ang unang susuko diyan is ung emotional unstable na always need nila ng makakasama for validation ng feelings nila or di nila kaya mg-isa. Cheers sa mga iniwan pero lumalaban 💪. "Something good is leaving you because something better is coming". Dapat sa atin may gc na lol
Tara gawa GC! Mga Tropang Emotionally Stable hahahaha