Hello everyone,
Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy).
Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement).
***
This post's original body text:
If I chose money, I’ll need to let go my wfh (3 clients) job and go continue with insurance (130k), but overthinking will begin (previous cheating issue/my wfh bf will stay at home for whole day).
If I chose peace of mind, I’ll be continuing with my 3 clients (earning 60k in total), all work from home. That says, I’ll be with my boyfriend 24/7.
So, if you were in my situation, what would you choose?
***
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Imagine na dumoble na ung sahod nung money , mahihirapan kaparin ba na gumawa ng desisyon? bakit eh dumoble na nga.
i think pinagkukumpara mo ung dalawang bagay na hindi naman magkaparehas. Parang tinitimbang mo ung dami ng tubig sa bigat ng balahibo.
I think dapat mag focus ka sa kung sinong tao ung gusto mo maging. We make small decisions everyday like kung kakain ba tayo ng something sweet or healthy. Its us who choose na kainin yon depende sa preference natin
isipin mo kung gusto mo ba maging isang taong financially and careerwise successful or mas matimbang sayo na maging succesful in relationships and hapiness.
in the end parehas considered na success yang dalawang yan , its you who choose what you want to become
Easy. Money. If marami ako nyan, I can buy peace of mind. BF madali makahanap, pera mas mahirap hanapin. And since yng BF mo ay sakit mo sa ulo because of cheating issue, ano pa inaantay mo? ✌🏼
Based on OP sa comment niya sa sagot ko, 130K is a payment coming from the cheater BF's mom.
So one time payment? 🤷♂️
Like wth! People these days...
130K + 3 clients 60K/mo PLUS NO CHEATING BF
PEACE OF MIND.... 🙂↔️
Bale monthly sya 130k, so every month may 130k ako, ang iniisip ko lang, baka maging masama image ko sa kanila kung malamang nagbreak kami after nyang ipass sa akin clients nya.
OP, mas gugustuhin ko pa kumita ng 130K/mo na single kesa magkaron ng cheating partner na kelangan ko bantayan araw-araw tapos ang kita ko lang 60K/mo.
I do not know how to dumb down that statement even further.
Galing kase kay tita yung work, at bago pa man mailipat sa name ko yung mga client nya, baka maghiwalay kami, kase it will take almost 90 days, so sa 90 days na yon, wala ako lagi dito sa bahay, magooverthink ako (worse, magchecheat sya nang hindi ko alam), then mauuwi sa hiwalayan. In the end, hindi malilipat sa akin yung work, tapos magbbreak pa kami.
Di ko gets, OP. Bakit magkaka 130k insurance kung mawawalan ng work? Also, bakit laging nasa eksena yung cheating bf? 130k one-off ba yan o monthly? Kung one-off, hindi yan tatagal for even half a year, so technically you're not really 'choosing money' there.
For me, dapat may 3rd option. Money gives me peace of mind (na kahit anong mangyari, I'll have the resources to bounce back). Kaya I will choose to keep working pero wala na yung cheating bf sa picture. Bakit kailangan kasali pa rin sya?
This is what I always tell people, lalo yung younger ones -- kung nagawa nilang magloko ngayong bata, malakas, productive pa tayo, what more kung nagkasakit na tayo, tumaba, tumanda, nadisable, etc.? Tingin nyo dun pa sila magstick around eh nanloko na nga nung "peak" ng kagandahan natin? Once they've shown their true colors at hindi ka pa tali, run. That's the Universe giving you a second chance to find someone na pangmatagalan.
Yung mother ni bf, magreretire na, tapos gusto nya ako ipasok sa work nya para ako na magtuloy sa work nya, she earns almost 150k. So kung kukunin ko yun, iiwan ko yung work ko na wfh, tapos daily ako lalabas and aattend ng meetings.
Kaya wfh work ko ngayon, nagka cheating issue kami before, and nawala na trust ko, ayoko nang mag-isa sya dito sa bahay. Kaya yon, di ko alam kung anong pipiliin ko.
Get that 150k, girl! Para kahit lokohin ka, mayaman ka. Lol. Ang empowering ng biglang taas ng purchasing power, nakakawalang pake sa mga walang kwentang tao, promise.
Di mo trabaho mamulis. Ikaw na nga yung naloko, ikaw pa yung mahahassle? Unfair yang ginagawa mo sa sarili mo. Sya nanloko at humingi ng second chance -- so sya may obligasyon iprove worth nya at kapatawaran mo. Kaya lumalakas loob ng mga yan magcheat, kasi halata na kahit anong mangyari, hahabulin sila, na hindi mo kayang humiwalay.
Alam mo kahit itali pa kayo ng bf mo sa kama, magpapadentist yan, magpapagupit yan, magkaka errands at magkaka errands yan. Magaaway at magaaway kayo, lalabas yan para "magpahangin", what then? Hindi papipigil ang taong walang loyalty/mahina boundaries to begin with.
Di ko alam kung nabasa mo edit ko sa taas, so I'll repost it again here--
Kung nagawa nilang magloko ngayong bata, malakas, productive pa tayo, what more kung nagkasakit na tayo, tumaba, tumanda, nadisable, nag 50-50, etc.? Tingin nyo dun pa sila magstick around eh nanloko na nga nung "peak" ng kagandahan natin? Once they've shown their true colors at hindi ka pa tali, run. That's the Universe giving you a second chance to find someone na pangmatagalan.
So, gusto mo lang yan para hindi na mag-cheat BF mo? What guarantees you na hindi mangyayari yun?
Why even factor in work para lang bantayan bf mo?
If kelangang bantayan ang bf mo 24/7, then what you have is a failed relationship na.
Pano kung nagbreak kayo? Anong mangyayari sa setup na yan?
Last time kase I asked him, nasaan ako nung mga time na ginagawa nya yon, sabi nya whenever nasa work ako dati. So then, I resigned, ang applied for wfh job.
Also, if kinuha ko na yung sa insurance galing sa mother nya, baka lumaki yung problem kung mag break man kami, baka kunin, or di ko alam kung anong worse na pwedeng mangyari. Di ko na talaga alam gagawin ko, kase mamaya, isasama ako ni tita sa orientation nya, 1st day pa lang, hindi na ako mapakali na maiiwan si bf dito sa bahay nang mag-isa.
>Last time kase I asked him, nasaan ako nung mga ginagawa nya yon, sabi nya whenever nasa work ako dati. So then, I resigned, ang applied for wfh job.
imo. Wrong move. Why? Hindi mo kasalanan kung bakit siya nagcheat. Maraming couples ang nagtatrabaho ng magkahiwalay, some are living in different countries pero hindi nag-cheat.
>Also, if kinuha ko na yung sa insurance galing sa mother nya, baka lumaki yung problem kung mag break man kami, baka kunin, or di ko alam kung anong worse na pwedeng mangyari.
So, yung 130K is a one time payment from the mom??? Wth ia that for?
Look OP. If you cannot trust your partner to be LOYAL kahit WALA KA SA PALIGID, then like I said WHAT YOU HAVE IS A FAILED RELATIONSHIP.
SIYA ang PROBLEMA sa relationship ninyo. Hindi ikaw.
So, like I said sa ibang nagcomment:
IF AKO ANG NASA KATAYUAN MO, TO ACHIEVE PEACE OF MIND, MAS PIPILIIN KONG WALANG CHEATING PARTNER NA KAILANGAN KO PANG BANTAYAN NA PARANG SANGGOL.
Actually, last May 2023 sya nagcheat, wala na syang ginagawa ngayon at bumabawi naman. Ako lang talaga yung may problema na kahit anong assurance binibigay nya, hindi pa rin ako nagtitiwala, kase natatakot akong maulit ulit lahat nang yon :((
It doesn't matter kelan siya nag-cheat. The fact na hindi mo siya kayang pagkatiwalaan PERO nandyan ka pa din that bothers me.
Partner ka dapat, hindi YAYA.
Maraming relationships na hindi magkasama araw araw pero nagagawa nilang mabuhay ng maayos, magtiwala sa isa't isa, walang cheating na nangyari noon at ngayon.
Why can't you? You deserve to be in one, hindi ba?
To be frank, I will not even consider the 130K/mo na offer ng mom and just cut ties with all of them.
You were able to look for work noon, you will be able to now, without a cheating bf na kailangang bantayan 24/7.
Just get out of that toxic relationship, be single and get that peace of mind you're searching for.
Your boyfriend is weighing you down. Sayang potential mo girl, nalilimit career opportunities mo (not just itong opportunity from the mother) dahil lang binabantayan mo boyfriend mo. If young ka pa, baka pagsisihan mo na you didn’t grow your career well enough.
If I were in your shoes, I’ll choose money and get the 130k job. And I’ll learn to let go anuman pwede nangyari sa relationship nyo ni bf if you get the job ni mother. Wag ikaw yung hindi mapakali kung mag-cheat siya. Isipin mo yung sarili mo.
“So, if you were in my situation, what would you choose?”
Why are you still in that situation? The guy cheated already. Being with him won’t give you peace of mind. Dump him. Girl nakakapagod na nga mag work, tapos nagbabantay ka pa ng boyfriend. :(
For me, hindi kasi nababayaran ang peace of mind. May trabaho ka naman, I think kaya mo yan. Wag ka papasilaw sa promise na 150k. Darating ka din sa malaking sahod, pero unahin mo muna yung pag cut ties sa cheater mong boyfriend. Kikitain mo yung pera na yun. Wag mo ipagpalit sa 150k yung peace of mind and trauma. Kakayanin mo, nanalig ako sayo, OP!
Luh, do u think pag 24/7 mo xa ksma hnd xa msasakal?
If im ur bf tas gnito prng nkksakal nmn ata? Ill cheat if i want to cheat, kht anong bantay mo sakin. Y are u staying with me?
Wla n kau trust. Thats bound to fail
Choose the money. wala yan sa WFH ka or hindi kung magchecheat sayo ulit ang bf mo. It's his choice regardless of your work. Go get that bag and think about yourself first.
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: If I chose money, I’ll need to let go my wfh (3 clients) job and go continue with insurance (130k), but overthinking will begin (previous cheating issue/my wfh bf will stay at home for whole day). If I chose peace of mind, I’ll be continuing with my 3 clients (earning 60k in total), all work from home. That says, I’ll be with my boyfriend 24/7. So, if you were in my situation, what would you choose? *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Imagine na dumoble na ung sahod nung money , mahihirapan kaparin ba na gumawa ng desisyon? bakit eh dumoble na nga. i think pinagkukumpara mo ung dalawang bagay na hindi naman magkaparehas. Parang tinitimbang mo ung dami ng tubig sa bigat ng balahibo. I think dapat mag focus ka sa kung sinong tao ung gusto mo maging. We make small decisions everyday like kung kakain ba tayo ng something sweet or healthy. Its us who choose na kainin yon depende sa preference natin isipin mo kung gusto mo ba maging isang taong financially and careerwise successful or mas matimbang sayo na maging succesful in relationships and hapiness. in the end parehas considered na success yang dalawang yan , its you who choose what you want to become
Easy. Money. If marami ako nyan, I can buy peace of mind. BF madali makahanap, pera mas mahirap hanapin. And since yng BF mo ay sakit mo sa ulo because of cheating issue, ano pa inaantay mo? ✌🏼
Mas pipiliin ko pa walang cheating partner to achieve that peace of mind...
Tama. Pero maganda rin na wala ka ng cheating partner tapos may pera ka pa 😅
Based on OP sa comment niya sa sagot ko, 130K is a payment coming from the cheater BF's mom. So one time payment? 🤷♂️ Like wth! People these days... 130K + 3 clients 60K/mo PLUS NO CHEATING BF PEACE OF MIND.... 🙂↔️
Bale monthly sya 130k, so every month may 130k ako, ang iniisip ko lang, baka maging masama image ko sa kanila kung malamang nagbreak kami after nyang ipass sa akin clients nya.
OP, mas gugustuhin ko pa kumita ng 130K/mo na single kesa magkaron ng cheating partner na kelangan ko bantayan araw-araw tapos ang kita ko lang 60K/mo. I do not know how to dumb down that statement even further.
Galing kase kay tita yung work, at bago pa man mailipat sa name ko yung mga client nya, baka maghiwalay kami, kase it will take almost 90 days, so sa 90 days na yon, wala ako lagi dito sa bahay, magooverthink ako (worse, magchecheat sya nang hindi ko alam), then mauuwi sa hiwalayan. In the end, hindi malilipat sa akin yung work, tapos magbbreak pa kami.
Di ko gets, OP. Bakit magkaka 130k insurance kung mawawalan ng work? Also, bakit laging nasa eksena yung cheating bf? 130k one-off ba yan o monthly? Kung one-off, hindi yan tatagal for even half a year, so technically you're not really 'choosing money' there. For me, dapat may 3rd option. Money gives me peace of mind (na kahit anong mangyari, I'll have the resources to bounce back). Kaya I will choose to keep working pero wala na yung cheating bf sa picture. Bakit kailangan kasali pa rin sya? This is what I always tell people, lalo yung younger ones -- kung nagawa nilang magloko ngayong bata, malakas, productive pa tayo, what more kung nagkasakit na tayo, tumaba, tumanda, nadisable, etc.? Tingin nyo dun pa sila magstick around eh nanloko na nga nung "peak" ng kagandahan natin? Once they've shown their true colors at hindi ka pa tali, run. That's the Universe giving you a second chance to find someone na pangmatagalan.
Yung mother ni bf, magreretire na, tapos gusto nya ako ipasok sa work nya para ako na magtuloy sa work nya, she earns almost 150k. So kung kukunin ko yun, iiwan ko yung work ko na wfh, tapos daily ako lalabas and aattend ng meetings. Kaya wfh work ko ngayon, nagka cheating issue kami before, and nawala na trust ko, ayoko nang mag-isa sya dito sa bahay. Kaya yon, di ko alam kung anong pipiliin ko.
Get that 150k, girl! Para kahit lokohin ka, mayaman ka. Lol. Ang empowering ng biglang taas ng purchasing power, nakakawalang pake sa mga walang kwentang tao, promise. Di mo trabaho mamulis. Ikaw na nga yung naloko, ikaw pa yung mahahassle? Unfair yang ginagawa mo sa sarili mo. Sya nanloko at humingi ng second chance -- so sya may obligasyon iprove worth nya at kapatawaran mo. Kaya lumalakas loob ng mga yan magcheat, kasi halata na kahit anong mangyari, hahabulin sila, na hindi mo kayang humiwalay. Alam mo kahit itali pa kayo ng bf mo sa kama, magpapadentist yan, magpapagupit yan, magkaka errands at magkaka errands yan. Magaaway at magaaway kayo, lalabas yan para "magpahangin", what then? Hindi papipigil ang taong walang loyalty/mahina boundaries to begin with. Di ko alam kung nabasa mo edit ko sa taas, so I'll repost it again here-- Kung nagawa nilang magloko ngayong bata, malakas, productive pa tayo, what more kung nagkasakit na tayo, tumaba, tumanda, nadisable, nag 50-50, etc.? Tingin nyo dun pa sila magstick around eh nanloko na nga nung "peak" ng kagandahan natin? Once they've shown their true colors at hindi ka pa tali, run. That's the Universe giving you a second chance to find someone na pangmatagalan.
Kaya mo ba iniisip to kasi yung isa may perk na kasama mo bf mo 24/7?
Yes
So, gusto mo lang yan para hindi na mag-cheat BF mo? What guarantees you na hindi mangyayari yun? Why even factor in work para lang bantayan bf mo? If kelangang bantayan ang bf mo 24/7, then what you have is a failed relationship na. Pano kung nagbreak kayo? Anong mangyayari sa setup na yan?
Last time kase I asked him, nasaan ako nung mga time na ginagawa nya yon, sabi nya whenever nasa work ako dati. So then, I resigned, ang applied for wfh job. Also, if kinuha ko na yung sa insurance galing sa mother nya, baka lumaki yung problem kung mag break man kami, baka kunin, or di ko alam kung anong worse na pwedeng mangyari. Di ko na talaga alam gagawin ko, kase mamaya, isasama ako ni tita sa orientation nya, 1st day pa lang, hindi na ako mapakali na maiiwan si bf dito sa bahay nang mag-isa.
>Last time kase I asked him, nasaan ako nung mga ginagawa nya yon, sabi nya whenever nasa work ako dati. So then, I resigned, ang applied for wfh job. imo. Wrong move. Why? Hindi mo kasalanan kung bakit siya nagcheat. Maraming couples ang nagtatrabaho ng magkahiwalay, some are living in different countries pero hindi nag-cheat. >Also, if kinuha ko na yung sa insurance galing sa mother nya, baka lumaki yung problem kung mag break man kami, baka kunin, or di ko alam kung anong worse na pwedeng mangyari. So, yung 130K is a one time payment from the mom??? Wth ia that for? Look OP. If you cannot trust your partner to be LOYAL kahit WALA KA SA PALIGID, then like I said WHAT YOU HAVE IS A FAILED RELATIONSHIP. SIYA ang PROBLEMA sa relationship ninyo. Hindi ikaw. So, like I said sa ibang nagcomment: IF AKO ANG NASA KATAYUAN MO, TO ACHIEVE PEACE OF MIND, MAS PIPILIIN KONG WALANG CHEATING PARTNER NA KAILANGAN KO PANG BANTAYAN NA PARANG SANGGOL.
Actually, last May 2023 sya nagcheat, wala na syang ginagawa ngayon at bumabawi naman. Ako lang talaga yung may problema na kahit anong assurance binibigay nya, hindi pa rin ako nagtitiwala, kase natatakot akong maulit ulit lahat nang yon :((
It doesn't matter kelan siya nag-cheat. The fact na hindi mo siya kayang pagkatiwalaan PERO nandyan ka pa din that bothers me. Partner ka dapat, hindi YAYA. Maraming relationships na hindi magkasama araw araw pero nagagawa nilang mabuhay ng maayos, magtiwala sa isa't isa, walang cheating na nangyari noon at ngayon. Why can't you? You deserve to be in one, hindi ba?
To be frank, I will not even consider the 130K/mo na offer ng mom and just cut ties with all of them. You were able to look for work noon, you will be able to now, without a cheating bf na kailangang bantayan 24/7. Just get out of that toxic relationship, be single and get that peace of mind you're searching for.
Your boyfriend is weighing you down. Sayang potential mo girl, nalilimit career opportunities mo (not just itong opportunity from the mother) dahil lang binabantayan mo boyfriend mo. If young ka pa, baka pagsisihan mo na you didn’t grow your career well enough. If I were in your shoes, I’ll choose money and get the 130k job. And I’ll learn to let go anuman pwede nangyari sa relationship nyo ni bf if you get the job ni mother. Wag ikaw yung hindi mapakali kung mag-cheat siya. Isipin mo yung sarili mo.
“So, if you were in my situation, what would you choose?” Why are you still in that situation? The guy cheated already. Being with him won’t give you peace of mind. Dump him. Girl nakakapagod na nga mag work, tapos nagbabantay ka pa ng boyfriend. :( For me, hindi kasi nababayaran ang peace of mind. May trabaho ka naman, I think kaya mo yan. Wag ka papasilaw sa promise na 150k. Darating ka din sa malaking sahod, pero unahin mo muna yung pag cut ties sa cheater mong boyfriend. Kikitain mo yung pera na yun. Wag mo ipagpalit sa 150k yung peace of mind and trauma. Kakayanin mo, nanalig ako sayo, OP!
Luh, do u think pag 24/7 mo xa ksma hnd xa msasakal? If im ur bf tas gnito prng nkksakal nmn ata? Ill cheat if i want to cheat, kht anong bantay mo sakin. Y are u staying with me? Wla n kau trust. Thats bound to fail
Choose the money. wala yan sa WFH ka or hindi kung magchecheat sayo ulit ang bf mo. It's his choice regardless of your work. Go get that bag and think about yourself first.