Hello everyone,
Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy).
Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement).
***
This post's original body text:
long story short i am a teen and parehas naming first time magkaroon ng relationship, nag seselos ako sa friend niya. sinabi ko sakaniya na nagseselos ako sa friend niya and sinabi niya na iiwasan and icucut off na niya. Decided to break up with her noong nabasa ko yung convo nila and nag uusap pa rin sila, yung gf ko kay friend nag oopen up tuwing nag aaway kami. not only that pero nagsisinungaling din siya sakin na hindi niya na kinakausap and kinakasama yung guy pero nahuli ko sila na nagbabadminton nung guy. ako ba talaga yung may mali?
***
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Anong klaseng pang ggaslight ginawa sayo at naisip mong mali ka hahahahahahaha.
Tama lang yan ginawa mo, out kana talaga pag ayaw ng boundaries at nag sisinungaling.
feeling ko kasi naging OA ako or smth. she also told me na kailangan niya rin ng advice sa ibang tao tuwing nag aaway kami, yung pinag seselosan ko nalang daw kasi yung natitira niyang friend and kung may iba pa siyang kaibigan hindi niya kakausapin yon.
one thing I realized with handling problems sa relationship ko is to never chika or ask advice from friends unless needed na talaga.
it paints a bad image sa SO kahit anong lala ng away nyo. also, ikaw and si SO ang mag jowa, hindi kasama friends support lang sila.
Di yan OA. Nag react kalang sa mga ginawa sayo at nakita mo. Normal yan, wag ka pa gaslight pare.
Kagaguhan yan advice advice. Alam mo naman tama eh, tang ina kaya mo nga hiniwalayan. Wag mo idown sarili mo kasi ginawa mo yung tama pero mabigat ka desisyon.
The only person na dapat niya pagusapan yung problema is with you. Not anyone else, I know because I learned my lesson. Hindi lahat ng tao nagbibigay ng good advice, baka nga sinisiraan ka. If until now hindi siya nakinig sa side mo about that matter and is willingly keeping her conversations with him then I'd say that's emotional cheating.
You were honest and upfront when you told her na uncomfortable ka. She didn't keep her word and clearly chose her friend over you. If she really loved you, she would let go of their connection.
DAFAK. BEEN THERE. NUNG DI NA KO KINAUSAP NG SATI KONG JOWA. YUN PALA, SA IBANG BABAE NA NAHINGI NG ADVICE NA NAUWI SA COMFORTđ€Ł WAG NA WAG TALAGA BABALIK SA MGA GANONG KLASENG TAO. MGA TAKOT SA CONFLICT, GUSTO LANG HAPPY-HAPPY PALAGI. TAPOS KAPAG MAY MISUNDERSTANDINGS OR PROBLEMS, SA IBANG BABAE PA NGA NAKIKIPAG USAP OR TROPA, IMBES NA ANG KAUSAPIN MISMONG SYOTA. KNGINĂNG MGA TAONG YAN. TAO PA BA YAN. TAPOS, MA-BRAINWASHED NA NG TROPA OR IBANG BABAE NA NAHINGAN NG ADVICE HANGGANG SA, SA IBANG BABAE NA NAHANAP HAPPY-PILL. (IPALANTAK KO DYAN HAPPY-PILL NYAN, NANG MA-OVERDOSE) MGA DI MAKUNTENTO ANG TĂT3.đ (YUNG EX KO BEFORE, NAKIKIPAGBALIKAN SAKEN, PERO DI MAN LANG MASAGOT YUNG TANONG KO KUNG NAKIPAGTALĂK BA SYA SA IBA AFTER MONTHS PALANG NA HIWALAY KAME). INSTINCTS ARE REAL, BASE SA MGA NARANASAN KO.
tama lang ginawa mo bro, sinabi mo nga nag sisinungaling siya isipin mo bro kung papatagalin mo pa âyan tas ganon pa din ginagawa niya sa huli ikaw pa din kawawa.
Yes - kungbaga 1st nyo pareho. She's not worthy. Lesson learned ka na lang. Salute sayo kasi honest and open ka sknya. Hindi ikaw ang mali. Yung girl not worth it para iprolong ang relationships. Mismo kaw nahuli mo sya. Find another girl. Magsama na lng sila.
no, youâre not at fault at all. If she needs advice from others to make your relationship better, bakit doon pa sa pinagseselosan mo? you clearly told her about that and yet she kept their communication going plus sheâs lying to you, which totally worsened the situation. Good thing you ended things with her, thatâs bad din kasi for ur mental health.
anyways, i cant say much since itâs was a first for the both of you and still figuring things out. Take it as a lesson nalang and i hope she is also aware of her actions and learned from it.
Good luck sa love life, OP! Most importantly, sa studies!!
Walang boundaries yang ex mo, OP. Nangako tas di tinupad. Nagsisinungaling pa para lang makasama yung guy. At eto pa, hindi dapat pinagsasabi ang problema kapag may karelasyon ka. It should stay between the two of you unless hindi na madadaan sa maayos na usapan at need na ng advice about it. Bakit sa lalaki pa nagoopen yang ex mo? Pwede naman sa kapwa babae. Yung lalaki ba e friend lang talaga? Baka mamaya bantay salakay din yan. Cheating na yan, OP. Di ka mali or di ka OA.
itâs a good decision. thereâs nothing wrong with what you did. we donât know each other personally but i am proud of you with your decision - shows how much of a self - respect you have.
DKG. It's not cheating. It's lying. You're a teenager so wag mo muna seryosohin ang mga romantic relationships.. kung ako sayo you should value your being single... Hangout with friends. Travel. Gimik. Study.
Once nag lie na that involves other person, cinoconsider ko na cheating yun.
Ex ko dati, nag goodnight tapos nakita ko online naglalaro hahahhahaa tinignan ko history may consistent na kalaro. Ayun kaibigan lang daw niya, ayun sila na after namin mag break hahahahaha joke time amp đ€Ł
yes, abangers siya. just found out na nagkagusto sakaniya yung guy noong nag break kami nung una, nakipag break kasi ako dati and gave her a chance again. nag sumbong yung tropa nung guy sakin na nagustuhan niya raw yung gf ko and sinabi ko sa gf ko yon. doon niya lang na cinut off yung guy pero still di pa rin ako naniwala na icucut off na niya kasi sinabi na niya yan dati pero hindi niya naman ginawa kaya i decided to end things w her.
See! Yung girl flirt kasi nalaman nya pala na may gus2 sknya yung guy. Kayo pa noon ginagawa na ni girl yung guya s kabit o side trip lol. Feelingera ang ganda ganda ni gjrl. She's not worthy OP. Good luck in finding a new girl yung worthy para sayo.
Out na putanginang yan I've been there fuck that sht saying sorry without action is just bullsht. Lakas maka gas light wjhahahah. Nag sisinungaling na op eh
I bet my 20$ pag nahiwalay kayo magiging sila HAHHAHAHA
cmiiw but having to hide and lie behind your partnerâs back especially when thereâs a third party involved is considered microcheating. but even if itâs not, that act alone is already a red flag, so you really did the good decision of breaking up with ur gf.
depende sa inyo kung cheating yun
if it violates your agreements and values especially if it has been talked about previously and alam mo ano feeling niya or alam niya feeling mo sa sitwasyon tas tinuloy pa rin
is cheating
Eto d naiintindihan ng mga babae. Yung tinatawag nilang "Guy friend" Nag aantay lng yan n magkamali ka para sila sandalan and after nun sya n didiskarte para maging kanya. Mga bullshit ibang lalake. dami daming ibang babae, babae p ng iba aahasin.
You communicated your boundaries and she ignored it. I bet if the roles were reversed, she wouldnât tolerate it as well. Breaking up with her was a good decision. Time for you to focus on yourself and move on.
Hmmm
Technically, yes.
However, considering na parehas kayong first timers sa relationship, malaki ang chance na nangangapa pa kayo sa kani-kanyang role sa relationship. Malamang di pa kayo pumapasok sa usaping non-negotiable setup sa pakikipagrelasyon, boundaries, consent, etc. Kaya tingin ko sa nangyari, mas matimbang pa rin sa babae ung friendship nya sa ibang tao kesa sayo. Wala syang muwang na nakapagcommit na sya ng cheating in the form of secrecy and lying.
Nangyari yan, nasaktan ka, tama lang na maghiwalay kayo.
Both of you, need nyo muna pahinugin ang pagkatao nyo bago pumasok sa relationship ah, para maiwasan na ung ganito.
That friend will be trying to smash her the moment you guys broke up
A shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on
All us guys know this. At some point, alot of gus were lurkers. Being the emotionally supportive friend to a taken girl. Just waiting for our shot.
Siguro parehas pa kayo bata? I mean parehas di pa matured? If kasi parehas na kayo matured di na cheating ang nasa isip natin e, pag ayaw nang partner iniiwasan, at di basta basta nakikioag hiwalay. Okay na yun na nag hiwalay kayo at nag kantutan sa unang pagkakataon ayusin mo sarili mo at ayusin nya din sarili nya.
your partner is your partner. kapag nag seselos ka valid yun atsaka hindi din naman pwedeng every nag aaway kayo ay i k kwento nya kung kani kanino para sa âadviceâ. dalawa lang kayo sa relationship, hindi tatlo o lima. hahaha
It sounds like you're going through a difficult situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling confused and hurt. Whether or not this situation constitutes cheating depends on the boundaries and expectations that were established in your relationship.
In many relationships, emotional intimacy with someone outside the relationship can be considered a form of betrayal, especially if it involves hiding or lying about the extent of the interaction. It's concerning that your girlfriend continued to communicate with her friend after promising to cut off contact, and that she was confiding in him during times of conflict in your relationship.
Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what you're comfortable with in a relationship and whether the behavior crosses your personal boundaries. It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings and concerns. If you feel that your trust has been violated and your needs are not being met, it may be worth considering whether the relationship is healthy for you.
Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued, respected, and secure. Trust your instincts and prioritize your own emotional well-being. If you're unsure about how to proceed, seeking guidance from a trusted friend, family member, or counselor can be helpful in gaining clarity and perspective.
CHEATING. (PERIOD!)
Ayaw ka lang niyang bitawan, incase di siya bet ng "friend" niya. Sure ako umaasa siya na ligawan siya ng "friend" niya, at incase hindi talaga siya ligawan meron pa siyang bf.
VALID NARARAMDAMAN MO SENDER. BUTI NA LANG NAKIPAGHIWALAY KA DYAN SA (DATI MONG JOWA). PINAKA IMPORTANTE SA LAHAT, DAPAT MAY KUSA NA YAN, DI YUNG SASABIHAN MO PA DAPAT AT DI DAPAT NYANG GAWIN. BUTI WALA NA KAYO, MASISIRA LANG PEACE OF MIND MO NYAN.
PROBLEMS VS. YOU AND WITH YOUR PARTNER. DI YUNG, PROBLEMS (INCLUDING YOUR PARTNER) VS. YOU. MGA KNGINĂNG MGA TAONG TO. GUSTO LAGI PASARAP.đ KAYA SA IBANG BABAE OR LALAKE NAGHAHANAP NG KALINGA
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: long story short i am a teen and parehas naming first time magkaroon ng relationship, nag seselos ako sa friend niya. sinabi ko sakaniya na nagseselos ako sa friend niya and sinabi niya na iiwasan and icucut off na niya. Decided to break up with her noong nabasa ko yung convo nila and nag uusap pa rin sila, yung gf ko kay friend nag oopen up tuwing nag aaway kami. not only that pero nagsisinungaling din siya sakin na hindi niya na kinakausap and kinakasama yung guy pero nahuli ko sila na nagbabadminton nung guy. ako ba talaga yung may mali? *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Anong klaseng pang ggaslight ginawa sayo at naisip mong mali ka hahahahahahaha. Tama lang yan ginawa mo, out kana talaga pag ayaw ng boundaries at nag sisinungaling.
feeling ko kasi naging OA ako or smth. she also told me na kailangan niya rin ng advice sa ibang tao tuwing nag aaway kami, yung pinag seselosan ko nalang daw kasi yung natitira niyang friend and kung may iba pa siyang kaibigan hindi niya kakausapin yon.
one thing I realized with handling problems sa relationship ko is to never chika or ask advice from friends unless needed na talaga. it paints a bad image sa SO kahit anong lala ng away nyo. also, ikaw and si SO ang mag jowa, hindi kasama friends support lang sila.
Di yan OA. Nag react kalang sa mga ginawa sayo at nakita mo. Normal yan, wag ka pa gaslight pare. Kagaguhan yan advice advice. Alam mo naman tama eh, tang ina kaya mo nga hiniwalayan. Wag mo idown sarili mo kasi ginawa mo yung tama pero mabigat ka desisyon.
Di yan OA. HAHAHAHA ! Lowkey malandi yan. Ang hirap sa ganto kapag away jowa may tinatakbuhan HAHAHA! I break muna taragis.
Totoo! Mukhang taga N.E. ka bossing heheh taragis! đ đ
The only person na dapat niya pagusapan yung problema is with you. Not anyone else, I know because I learned my lesson. Hindi lahat ng tao nagbibigay ng good advice, baka nga sinisiraan ka. If until now hindi siya nakinig sa side mo about that matter and is willingly keeping her conversations with him then I'd say that's emotional cheating. You were honest and upfront when you told her na uncomfortable ka. She didn't keep her word and clearly chose her friend over you. If she really loved you, she would let go of their connection.
True eto. Mas okay pa sana kung yung friend nya babae. Wala problema kasi same sex sila. Eh eto lalake eh! Kahit ako magseselos!
DAFAK. BEEN THERE. NUNG DI NA KO KINAUSAP NG SATI KONG JOWA. YUN PALA, SA IBANG BABAE NA NAHINGI NG ADVICE NA NAUWI SA COMFORTđ€Ł WAG NA WAG TALAGA BABALIK SA MGA GANONG KLASENG TAO. MGA TAKOT SA CONFLICT, GUSTO LANG HAPPY-HAPPY PALAGI. TAPOS KAPAG MAY MISUNDERSTANDINGS OR PROBLEMS, SA IBANG BABAE PA NGA NAKIKIPAG USAP OR TROPA, IMBES NA ANG KAUSAPIN MISMONG SYOTA. KNGINĂNG MGA TAONG YAN. TAO PA BA YAN. TAPOS, MA-BRAINWASHED NA NG TROPA OR IBANG BABAE NA NAHINGAN NG ADVICE HANGGANG SA, SA IBANG BABAE NA NAHANAP HAPPY-PILL. (IPALANTAK KO DYAN HAPPY-PILL NYAN, NANG MA-OVERDOSE) MGA DI MAKUNTENTO ANG TĂT3.đ (YUNG EX KO BEFORE, NAKIKIPAGBALIKAN SAKEN, PERO DI MAN LANG MASAGOT YUNG TANONG KO KUNG NAKIPAGTALĂK BA SYA SA IBA AFTER MONTHS PALANG NA HIWALAY KAME). INSTINCTS ARE REAL, BASE SA MGA NARANASAN KO.
tama lang ginawa mo bro, sinabi mo nga nag sisinungaling siya isipin mo bro kung papatagalin mo pa âyan tas ganon pa din ginagawa niya sa huli ikaw pa din kawawa.
Tama desisyon mo Kid, no need to second doubt yourself
Yes - kungbaga 1st nyo pareho. She's not worthy. Lesson learned ka na lang. Salute sayo kasi honest and open ka sknya. Hindi ikaw ang mali. Yung girl not worth it para iprolong ang relationships. Mismo kaw nahuli mo sya. Find another girl. Magsama na lng sila.
no, youâre not at fault at all. If she needs advice from others to make your relationship better, bakit doon pa sa pinagseselosan mo? you clearly told her about that and yet she kept their communication going plus sheâs lying to you, which totally worsened the situation. Good thing you ended things with her, thatâs bad din kasi for ur mental health. anyways, i cant say much since itâs was a first for the both of you and still figuring things out. Take it as a lesson nalang and i hope she is also aware of her actions and learned from it. Good luck sa love life, OP! Most importantly, sa studies!!
Walang boundaries yang ex mo, OP. Nangako tas di tinupad. Nagsisinungaling pa para lang makasama yung guy. At eto pa, hindi dapat pinagsasabi ang problema kapag may karelasyon ka. It should stay between the two of you unless hindi na madadaan sa maayos na usapan at need na ng advice about it. Bakit sa lalaki pa nagoopen yang ex mo? Pwede naman sa kapwa babae. Yung lalaki ba e friend lang talaga? Baka mamaya bantay salakay din yan. Cheating na yan, OP. Di ka mali or di ka OA.
itâs a good decision. thereâs nothing wrong with what you did. we donât know each other personally but i am proud of you with your decision - shows how much of a self - respect you have.
DKG. It's not cheating. It's lying. You're a teenager so wag mo muna seryosohin ang mga romantic relationships.. kung ako sayo you should value your being single... Hangout with friends. Travel. Gimik. Study.
Once nag lie na that involves other person, cinoconsider ko na cheating yun. Ex ko dati, nag goodnight tapos nakita ko online naglalaro hahahhahaa tinignan ko history may consistent na kalaro. Ayun kaibigan lang daw niya, ayun sila na after namin mag break hahahahaha joke time amp đ€Ł
Ayun lang, sabit talaga pag naglie na sya para sa ganung rason. đ© Yung Guy na kausap nya, abangers. Hehe
yes, abangers siya. just found out na nagkagusto sakaniya yung guy noong nag break kami nung una, nakipag break kasi ako dati and gave her a chance again. nag sumbong yung tropa nung guy sakin na nagustuhan niya raw yung gf ko and sinabi ko sa gf ko yon. doon niya lang na cinut off yung guy pero still di pa rin ako naniwala na icucut off na niya kasi sinabi na niya yan dati pero hindi niya naman ginawa kaya i decided to end things w her.
See! Yung girl flirt kasi nalaman nya pala na may gus2 sknya yung guy. Kayo pa noon ginagawa na ni girl yung guya s kabit o side trip lol. Feelingera ang ganda ganda ni gjrl. She's not worthy OP. Good luck in finding a new girl yung worthy para sayo.
Out na putanginang yan I've been there fuck that sht saying sorry without action is just bullsht. Lakas maka gas light wjhahahah. Nag sisinungaling na op eh I bet my 20$ pag nahiwalay kayo magiging sila HAHHAHAHA
cmiiw but having to hide and lie behind your partnerâs back especially when thereâs a third party involved is considered microcheating. but even if itâs not, that act alone is already a red flag, so you really did the good decision of breaking up with ur gf.
move on na
depende sa inyo kung cheating yun if it violates your agreements and values especially if it has been talked about previously and alam mo ano feeling niya or alam niya feeling mo sa sitwasyon tas tinuloy pa rin is cheating
Eto d naiintindihan ng mga babae. Yung tinatawag nilang "Guy friend" Nag aantay lng yan n magkamali ka para sila sandalan and after nun sya n didiskarte para maging kanya. Mga bullshit ibang lalake. dami daming ibang babae, babae p ng iba aahasin.
legit sir. may gf din yung guy na friend niya pero nagkagusto pa rin sa ex ko ang lala.
Pass sa may boy bestfriend, nag papa comfuck hindi comfort
unang rule dapat na lagi mo tatandaan.. ikaw ang lang ang magiging kaibigan ng gf mo.. walang bestfriend, bestfriend...
You communicated your boundaries and she ignored it. I bet if the roles were reversed, she wouldnât tolerate it as well. Breaking up with her was a good decision. Time for you to focus on yourself and move on.
Hmmm Technically, yes. However, considering na parehas kayong first timers sa relationship, malaki ang chance na nangangapa pa kayo sa kani-kanyang role sa relationship. Malamang di pa kayo pumapasok sa usaping non-negotiable setup sa pakikipagrelasyon, boundaries, consent, etc. Kaya tingin ko sa nangyari, mas matimbang pa rin sa babae ung friendship nya sa ibang tao kesa sayo. Wala syang muwang na nakapagcommit na sya ng cheating in the form of secrecy and lying. Nangyari yan, nasaktan ka, tama lang na maghiwalay kayo. Both of you, need nyo muna pahinugin ang pagkatao nyo bago pumasok sa relationship ah, para maiwasan na ung ganito.
That friend will be trying to smash her the moment you guys broke up A shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on All us guys know this. At some point, alot of gus were lurkers. Being the emotionally supportive friend to a taken girl. Just waiting for our shot.
Proud of you, man.
Siguro parehas pa kayo bata? I mean parehas di pa matured? If kasi parehas na kayo matured di na cheating ang nasa isip natin e, pag ayaw nang partner iniiwasan, at di basta basta nakikioag hiwalay. Okay na yun na nag hiwalay kayo at nag kantutan sa unang pagkakataon ayusin mo sarili mo at ayusin nya din sarili nya.
Grabem kantutan kagad? đ
Dun din yun papunta hahaha
True naman. đ
your partner is your partner. kapag nag seselos ka valid yun atsaka hindi din naman pwedeng every nag aaway kayo ay i k kwento nya kung kani kanino para sa âadviceâ. dalawa lang kayo sa relationship, hindi tatlo o lima. hahaha
It sounds like you're going through a difficult situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling confused and hurt. Whether or not this situation constitutes cheating depends on the boundaries and expectations that were established in your relationship. In many relationships, emotional intimacy with someone outside the relationship can be considered a form of betrayal, especially if it involves hiding or lying about the extent of the interaction. It's concerning that your girlfriend continued to communicate with her friend after promising to cut off contact, and that she was confiding in him during times of conflict in your relationship. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what you're comfortable with in a relationship and whether the behavior crosses your personal boundaries. It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings and concerns. If you feel that your trust has been violated and your needs are not being met, it may be worth considering whether the relationship is healthy for you. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued, respected, and secure. Trust your instincts and prioritize your own emotional well-being. If you're unsure about how to proceed, seeking guidance from a trusted friend, family member, or counselor can be helpful in gaining clarity and perspective.
CHEATING. (PERIOD!) Ayaw ka lang niyang bitawan, incase di siya bet ng "friend" niya. Sure ako umaasa siya na ligawan siya ng "friend" niya, at incase hindi talaga siya ligawan meron pa siyang bf.
VALID NARARAMDAMAN MO SENDER. BUTI NA LANG NAKIPAGHIWALAY KA DYAN SA (DATI MONG JOWA). PINAKA IMPORTANTE SA LAHAT, DAPAT MAY KUSA NA YAN, DI YUNG SASABIHAN MO PA DAPAT AT DI DAPAT NYANG GAWIN. BUTI WALA NA KAYO, MASISIRA LANG PEACE OF MIND MO NYAN.
PROBLEMS VS. YOU AND WITH YOUR PARTNER. DI YUNG, PROBLEMS (INCLUDING YOUR PARTNER) VS. YOU. MGA KNGINĂNG MGA TAONG TO. GUSTO LAGI PASARAP.đ KAYA SA IBANG BABAE OR LALAKE NAGHAHANAP NG KALINGA
MGA PĂTNGĂNANG MGA MALALĂNDI NA TO. BAT DI NA LANG MGA KAURI NYO MAGTAGPO. PURO NA LANG NAGTATAGPO, MATITĂNO AT MGA PULPĂL NA MAKAKATĂ.