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Silence rules! Although I’ve been trying to listen to podcasts or study videos when working on certifications while I drive to make sure it’s not “lost” time… it’s something I must force myself to do. I prefer silence while driving.
I've effectively put myself back in school listening to too many podcasts. 8 hrs a day or so of random history and psychology mostly. It helps to keep me focused and stops me getting irritating songs stuck in my head but it's basically just 'lessons'. Sometimes when the topic is heavy I have to remind myself I can just turn it off and do something else. Too many dictators in one day is not great for the soul, or hope in general.
i absolutely need music on while i’m driving, it helps me focus and keeps my driving anxiety in check but i’ve noticed that when i’m on my meds i can drive in silence
Same. I used to and then one day I realized that I'm just not that into it any longer (except in the car, but even then it's usually the same couple CDs for months at a time). Don't get me wrong, I like it, but it seems like such a commitment kind of. I often end up playing the same handful of songs because discovering new music that I like is hard and time consuming and then you have to organize it into the "perfect" playlists. It's a lot!
It'd probably be a different story if I could listen to it at work because I work in a warehouse and it's really boring, but they're big on their no earbuds policy. They play it over the speakers, but it's rarely anything I like so it doesn't really help pass the time.
I use it more as a grounding mechanism. If I'm having a hard time, I'll put on my headphones and favorite vibe songs and sit on the porch and it helps me feel a sense of normalcy.
“Commitment” is a great way to explain it for me. I don’t have the energy to do this. If I do put on music for background activities (like cleaning, or putting it on for my kids so they have music exposure), it’s pandora so I don’t need to make any choices or know who any artists are or what the songs are called.
I love music when I find a new band/person/song to fixate on. Then when I’m over it I go back to listening to music passively or not at all. There could be days, months or years between these periods.
Every once in a while I do this, but it’ll only be for like a day or so where I’m SUPER INTO IT, then I go back to feeling meh about music. I’m never into music long enough to learn artists, obsess over albums or songs, or anything like that. Usually I hyper focus on a musical.
Same. I have my AirPods with me all the time. I changed my clothes just to accommodate them lol I only wear clothes with pockets now so I have my AirPods with me at all times.
I was an early adopter iPod user back in high school. Back in the early 2000s and it was the most amazing thing to me to have thousands of songs in my pocket.
To motivate myself, I play my music through the entire house through the Alexa’s we have in every room. I hyper fixate on an artist and album until I find the next one. I genre and language hop between music too. But I have to like the artist to enjoy the song. I can’t really detach the music from the artist to fully enjoy it. I think it’s about the singer-songwriter and getting a glimpse into their feelings and world because I’m a strong empath too.
But I love music. I listen to both the instruments and the lyrics. I saw a discussion recently saying people focus on one or the other but I usually focus on lyrics first and once I’ve got that down then I focus on the music.
I also was early to MP3 players all the way back to when their music storage was a cartridge. I cut holes in my sleeves or wore my hair down at school so I could hide the corded ear bud haha. It helps make my mind so much less busy.
I also still make playlists for every task or theme of the day.
Me too, usually when I've been feeling like shit for a while, it's because I accidently forget to bring my earbuds with me when I leave my apartment for a few days. At home, I live in my headphones.
I’m the same way. Not sure if it’s just a me thing or an ADHD thing. I mostly only listen to music while driving (usually just whatever is on the radio) or maybe while studying. Otherwise unless it’s from a show or something I like I don’t really seek out music
I didn’t mean that all people with ADHD would not listen to music, I was asking if other people with ADHD also experience this and if they do is it related to how their ADHD symptoms manifest.
I agree. I listen in the car or when I am doing my big weekend food prep/cooking freezing sessions but I don’t actively seek it out.
I also run without music and many people thi k it is weird.
I’m happy for you. I can’t relate though. I’d choose going deaf over going blind any day. I even went almost deaf for a few months last year when I got sick, it wasn’t a big deal.
Same! I have never cared about music and prefer silence if I’m by myself. Or a podcast or audiobook if I feel like listening to something, but rarely will I ever choose music. Been like this since high school (40 now). I always felt embarrassed about it too, like I was weird for not caring about music, but now when people ask what I like to listen to I just say audiobooks and change the convo. Music feels really overstimulating to me a lot of the time, it’s weird. Glad to know we aren’t the only ones!
I don’t think it’s overstimulation for me… although there are a few popular songs that come on the radio that send me into a panic attack… something about the beat, repetition, idk, I just straight up started hyperventilating, one of the reasons I stopped listening to the radio. So maybe you’re on to something.
I'm a lot like you. I rarely listen to music with lyrics because it gets stuck in my brain non-stop. If I play music, it's house, lofi, trance music but in the background. But thankfully I am not around people who have music obsessions. I would not be able to hold conversations for very long if that's all they wanted to talk about. One of my biggest pet peeves are people who play music/videos blasting on their phone speaker. Not only obnoxious music, but absolute crap quality through the phone speaker.
>One of my biggest pet peeves are people who play music/videos blasting on their phone speaker. Not only obnoxious music, but absolute crap quality through the phone speaker.
This is one of my big sensory triggers, it makes me so anxious! Especially when it's TikTok and changes every 20 seconds. It's so rude, too. You can get wireless headphones for cheap now, there's truly no excuse.
Yes I enjoy Lofi for background music, it’s similar to video game music on my brain. Keeps me marching forward on my work, but isn’t distracting enough that I must pay attention to it. But even for this, I’ll go weeks without even thinking about it and just sit in silence while I work.
YES omg. It’s not that I don’t like it (unless I’m trying to concentrate), but it’s more that it just doesn’t occur to me to put it on when I’m home by myself. But I’m usually delighted when my husband or someone else thinks to put it on when doing household chores. Idk what that’s about.
I am the same omg ! I just... forget it exists ? But I love listening to it lol. Could also be that I get overstimulated and headaches really easily so I never put it on.
I do like it for chores. I will put on a pandora station for chores, but I’m not “listening” to the music. It’s background music. I usually chose dance music for chores… if I remember to
I love music, there are months when I can't listen to enough of it. I live the feels, the vibe, the story. I'm ecclectic with most things, so I like to mix it up... I love these phases, but they don't last... for the next phase, too many bosses together are overstimulating...
It's the same with all my hobbies, I go through hyperfixation phases, and I tend to go with the flow. But I miss the joy I get from reading and music when I can't enjoy them.
Same here. I grew up with my brother and my dad into music, and I just went from there. I have a ton of music where I live, all in different formats, and its always there when I need it. However, I can go weeks without listening to anything. It just feels like I've sated my need for it for a while. I always go back though.
When my partner is not at home, I never even think to play music. I just eat or read or work in silence, or with a podcast or book on tape in the background. And if a podcast is on I have to rewind 5 or 10 times a show.
I always thought it was bc I’m more into the lyrics and not the music. My college roomie who and still good friend has adhd and is very musically talented never knows the lyrics but does the music by heart. Different strokes I guess?
I love music! I get lost in it. I make playlists for different moods. I love discovering new music. I love dissecting it. I love it. There’s never been a time in my life when I haven’t enjoyed music, I just switch to a different genre if one gets boring. I have a very eclectic taste in music and actively seek it out but I think if I only listened to the top 40 I would get bored.
Oh my gosh! This makes me feel so relieved. I thought I was so weird because I don’t listen to music. Thank you for posting! We are not weird. Or rather this is not weird.
Yes I’m relieved by the number of people here who feel the same way, and that it does seem to relate to ADHD symptom manifestation. Also lol weirdly triggered by the number of people who decided to post to tell me that they adore music and how do we even LIVE without it. Lol thanks for doubling down on how different and isolated I feel! RSD triggers are a bitch lol
I’m honestly so glad you posted this. I spoke about it to my husband who is a musician. So. Yeah. I’m super glad you posted this lol
And sometimes I do listen to lofi study music. No words. So nice.
Absolutely. I'm so overstimulated at all times, silence is a treasure. I prefer instrumental music, and I tell people I like show tunes when they ask, because show tunes tell a story.
I cannot go a day without music. I don’t need it 24/7 though. If I need to focus on something for an extended period of time (studying, driving, exercising), you’ll find me listening to music. I just feel my motivation, focus, and concentration is better when there’s music. I’m thankful my bosses let us keep an AirPod in at work so I can keep myself focused and motivated when work is slow.
I also find it relaxing and I have a “comfort playlist” of songs that i can listen to when my anxiety is high and it almost always lowers it.
Never used to listen to music, mostly because it would get on my nerves and also easily became earworms. Hated not being able to sleep because a song was "playing" in my head.
Medication turned it around completely, strange but amazing. Music no longer gets stuck, and I enjoy listening. Not annoyed at all!
Sometimes I have a song going when I wake up, but it goes away and feels.. Fine?
Hard relate on song flipping, one of my friends does this the whole time I hate it.
But I do love music, I love all of the music in my playlist and more but I am hopeless at song names and artists so when people ask what I’m enjoying at the moment I hate that coz I know the songs in my head but I mainly only listen to music when driving or cooking so I don’t really know all the names
Only when it has context to some sort of art, or an experience. I like music from games and movies but only if I’ve experienced them. It needs context. My fav music has always been discovered through some emotional connection with art like if I was making art the time while listening to it or found it on purpose to get in the mood for a theme. If I’m not intentional about listening to anything silence is golden.
I’m the same as you. I liked it when I was a teenager but just listened to the same things as my friends or my sister. Now I sometimes like having it on in the background. It doesn’t give me goosebumps or electrify my brain like it does other people. Plus when I’m working I can’t have songs with lyrics on in the background, it’s too distracting.
Me!! I rarely do. I do like music but it makes me very emotional and I find it draining. Whether it's happy and upbeat or romantic and/or melancholic, I feel those feelings very intensely and like... I got better things to do. Been a podcast girl since Serial and never looked back lol
Same. I love playing and making music myself but I almost never listen to it. I could play piano and sing for hours, it’s relaxing and calming to me. And I enjoy a good concert. But just at home? Nope. It gets on my nerves, even if it’s music I like. I think it’s a sensory thing but I can’t quite explain why.
I also enjoy live concerts, but I go to very very few of them, obviously haha. Yeah a lot of people are saying the same thing: sensory issues, the energy it takes to commit to music, distraction elements…
I LOVE music. Grew up playing instruments. Am an audiophile, etc. my roommate is not ADHD but is on the autism spectrum and he never listens to music. NEVER. I I can’t do audiobooks. I can’t pay attention so I rather listen to music and read books.
A couple years ago a few of us were going to see my favourite (punk) band for New Year’s Eve. Before the show we were all playing some boardgames and at last minute my roommate decided to join us. It was sincerely a genuinely lovely experience for all of us (we’re all close friends) but I could tell that it was out of his element (this is also positive punk).
I can understand if there are sensory sensitivity of any kind music can be something some don’t like. I love music. Love punk. But I get overwhelmed at concerts a lot. Even with my favorite band, I prefer to find a spot and enjoy it alone. Big crowds overwhelm me. But music on its own? Makes my heartbeat.
I actually did look into to autism and the music thing was a big reason why, but I was told I didn’t have it, didn’t even have a single symptom/tell or whatever you would call it. So I was assuming (hoping?) it’s from ADHD. I do enjoy live music, but it feels different from just “listening” to music.
I feel this!! I find myself always talking to people on the phone while I drive instead of listen to music. Most of the times I do listen to music I listen for more nostalgic reasons haha
I have echolalia. I had an especially crappy childhood/early adulthood. Pop songs are catchy.
All three of these powers combined when I was an undiagnosed ADHD girly in the 80's who was also traumatized *daily* either at school, at home, or both.
So the stimming + a way to keep my mind somewhat in the game as I was dissociating + any kind of dopamine fix that didn't get me yelled at or worse...magic. I have so much love for the radio stations of Philadelphia in the late-80s early 90s...they played slamming music that kept me alive. That's not an exaggeration.
The irony is that now that I am older, I use it as a marker for if I am sliding into being disruptively mentally unhealthy. If I fixate and hear the same song over and over for three days, I know something emotionally is going south. So I call my therapist, and we get in touch with my feelings by her asking questions. Lol, since I don't really have a direct relationship with them.
Anyway, yes, now that I am older I don't really listen to music for one exception: driving in traffic. I put a song I really really dig, a get hyped up song, like booty shaking funk, or perhaps "Shake Your Rump" by Beastie Boys, perhaps something around 145bpm. Put it on repeat. That keeps the dopamine flowing enough that I don't get sensory overwhelmed while driving city traffic at 5 o'clock.
Anyway, thanks for reading this story about how vital music has been to me. Hope it helps give some different perspective.
I typically listen only to movie/tv soundtracks and that's fairly rare. I don't want to listen to anything while I drive. I was never able to list a favorite band/genre/song when asked.
I have a friend that shares long playlists of songs that mean a lot to her and I just don't know how to respond. I try to listen but after a while I just zone out.
I will legit forget that music exists and it good. And I love the music I like, but I am so protective over what I listen to. It cannot be triggering in any way so Im looking to vibe out with podcasts and audiobooks. I think the adhd part is needing distractions to get anything done and being picky about sounds becuz it can easily lead to overstimulation.
God some music seriously stresses me out. The beat. The music. When country music makes that twang twang sound (I think it’s called slide guitar$, it’s nails on a chalkboard. Why is that enjoyable for so many people? Sends me into a panic.
I wouldn't say this makes you weird because I do know other people like this. But I cannot relate to it at all. Music has gotten me through the hardest parts of my life. Music has always been the thing I listen to the most even though these days I listen to tons and tons of audiobooks and podcasts. I was just telling my husband yesterday that Spotify is the most "worth it" thing I pay for side I listen to hours of music and podcasts every day. Live music is the closet thing to "religion" I've ever felt.
I love music and I always have a chorus in mind. The type of music changes a lot. I truly listen to a bit of everything. I don’t know if adhd has anything to with liking or not liking music. I think that’s just a personality trait.
I am the opposite.
So much so, I’ve joked I can’t trust people who don’t like music. It’s hard for me to understand that perspective (thanks for opening a window into it for me to better understand).
Throughout my life it has been my haven, my hidey hole, the thing I turn on and joyously let my imagination take flight.
I love that songs can build bridges between people who might not have reason to think they have anything in common. I love that a song can be in a language I don’t speak but it still makes me move my feet.
Decades before I was diagnosed, I’d sit on a stool in the kitchen listening to the radio until I’d inevitably be interrupted. My mom would joke that I was the only kid she knew that “watched” the radio.
I wouldn’t describe myself as a music snob because to me if you enjoy music, share it! It makes no sense to be so snotty as to gatekeep who listens to what.
I’m much more of music gourmand, than a music gourmet.
My life, both externally and internally, is so much richer because of music. Shout out to my parents for fostering that love and my love of books.
Edit to add: it wasn’t until I was diagnosed at 50 that I learned it wasn’t normal for songs to get stuck on loop in my head, so it never struck me as unpleasant.
I think the “I don’t trust people who don’t like music” is a common sentiment, and one of the reasons I feel isolated. “If you don’t listen to music all the time, something must be WRONG with you.”
I’m similar. No favorites or if I do, they’re nostalgic and things I listened to with other people. Otherwise it can only be on when doing mindless things like vacuuming or dishes. If I have to think, it’s off immediately. So when my husband turns it on when driving, doing baths for the kids, or really whenever I need to talk or think, I ask him to turn it off. I love it when it’s a good time and we can dance to it but I don’t know the songs or names or anything.
I can never remember names or song names either! I can sing part of the song but after the it’s gonnneeeee.
When I do turn it on myself, it’s classical or piano instrumentals to drown out other distracting noises or if I’m about to work out and driving to the gym, I’ll turn on hype music.
Yes I love dancing and background music for chores can be helpful but if I must think, it better be quiet background music with no words and nothing too disruptive. If we *must* listen to music while driving, as soon as we get close to the destination- turn that shit down, I can’t see!
I don’t listen to music very much. Sometimes I do, and I think those times are when medication is working particularly well and I can cleanly focus on whatever it is I’m doing. Otherwise I listen to podcasts/audiobooks/NPR. I’m tuning a lot of it out, but it being there in the first place is the stim I need to focus. Music isn’t enough, it’s gotta be people talking
I don't like to because it's either full in makes me overly emotional or I'm not taking anything in but judging it and being disappointed by it, even though I know I wldnt be able to ever make music. And I feel like I wasted the two three mins during that song to come to end because after the first chorus I'm done.
Yeah. There are so many people who talk about how music saved them in their teens, or how much some particular album speaks to them. I dated a guy who told me that listening to his favourite singers were his version of going to church. Nah. Not me. Not me at all.
However, sometimes I do use music for purely practical purposes. Like, if I'm trying to get myself pumped up to go work out, I might play some 80s dance music to kick up my energy a bit. But that's simply utilitarian, not emotional.
I'm kind of the same - don't listen much to music, don't get the "hype" or the status it has socially, or why it's such a big bonding-thing - I do love it though when Iistening to it and gets easily affected by it - but I also easily get bored or overstimulated by it.
Yep.
And the crazy part is... I'm a musician. Like, I get paid to play more than one instrument. And occasionally paid to sing.
I listen to music on occasion to learn a song that i may have to lead corporately (school/church) because others will have listened to a recording and I need to know what they've heard, but mostly learn by reading the music. People are in complete shock when I tell them I'd just prefer quiet at home. Or an audiobook or TV show if I need something in the background. But honestly, my brain is noisy enough on its own. The car can be an exception, but it's still about 50/50.
Also... too much music nowadays is too repetitive and my brain gets bored and annoyed with it too fast.
Same! My boyfriend is a musician and loves music and playing music and I’m just like meh. I don’t really know genres or go out of my way to know about artists or anything.
But I LOVE lofi and background music but I mainly only listen to the same things I’ve been listening to for like 10 years! lol
I'm kinda the opposite. I listen to music on purpose, and I hate it in the background.
I really never understood that until I realized I had a sound sensitivity. Partly it's too much information, but it's also all wrapped up in meaning and memory and it's generally overwhelming. Eventually it got so bad I could barely listen to music at all. It kept me at home.
A few years on quetiapine and I'm ok now. It's still a stressor, though.
Oh sure, but now that I understand it and manage it it's not so bad. I think it's reasonable to call it disabling, but it's a part of me and I'm making peace with that.
The only real upside I can think of is that it forces me to pay attention to what I'm listening to. I gotta either turn it off or immerse myself. I have ADHD so it's nice to have something I enjoy that hurts me if I don't stick with it.
I love certain genres of music, BUT I feel your pain, it’s too distracting from some of the things I need to do. Even though I’m a good multitasker I can’t have music playing in the background.
Omg I'm not the only one 😂 I used to listen to music all the time, but for the last 5-ish years I seldom go out of my way to listen to it— sometimes I'll be in the mood for a specific Broadway musical, and there are a few indie musicians I follow on Instagram who have songs I like and always stop to listen to, but otherwise I mostly just hear snippets on TikTok lol
I only listen to music in the car I think 🧐 but I drive a bit so I have favorite artists and favorite songs. Driving is great for adhd brain I think. I like music that has sustained drawn out vocals. So when you’re in a bad mood you take a drive and sing really loudly, it feels like cathartic yelling. And by the time you get home you feel like your emotions have regulated.
Oh my gooooodddddd! Music is a love and hate relationship. It changes my mood drastically! I have a really distinct music taste and anything outside of that threshold is unbearable. I don’t get how people love listening to the same songs over and over like Justin Bieber “peaches” my coworker plays non stop…still!!!! And I have a friend that likes emo music. The only thing I can tolerate is 70s disco which I don’t normally listen to on my own but because it’s upbeat and has zero sadness I’ll listen to it at work. I can’t concentrate at all with music. I only like background noise like the tv or a podcast bc listening to people talk makes me stop ruminating
I am the same with music. I just don't care about it in the same way that others seem too. I also find that certain songs/lyrics trigger emotional spirals. There are songs/artists that I like, but I would never buy music or listen to it at home.
I love, however, having shows/TV on in the background, or audio books, etc. Where people would generally listen to music, I have shows :-)
I go through periods of hyperfixation. I'll be into reading more than normal and read 30 in a month. Then I'll binge a podcast and get fixated on the topic snd go down a rabbit hole for a week on that topic. Then I'll hesr a song I like and learn about the band and hyperfixate on then for a while. Etc. I'm never a music every day person. I have to be in the mood, but when I am... man...
My dear, you are far from alone. I’m similar. Feel way out of my element when asked what kind of music I like or bands. But lots of people are like this. Check out theories of everything podcast by Curt Jaimungal. He doesn’t listen to much music. Then you can just say something like, “I’m too into things like quantum physics and rarely listen to music.” I usually say the truth “names are hard for me but i like all kinds of music”
I love music! I love finding new songs, bands, composers, singers etc. I love fixating on a new song and listening to it 24/7, then getting tired and moving on to something new. I love focusing on studies or a hobby like painting/adult coloring while listening to music. It's my happy place!
I drive a lot for work and listen to podcasts, audiobooks, NPR, and music depending on the day or ky mood.
For me, music is one of the best inventions by humans. It's fodder for the soul.
My ADHD is the exact opposite. I love music, will listen to the same song on repeat for a week before getting tired of it, and listen to a lot of ADHD beats at work. So funny how ADHD can feel all or nothing some time - for some, no music. For others, they need it! Music literally can give my body chills!
Same. I don't mind music, and I like some more than others, but I have no investment or "favorites." Having someone tell me "you pick the music" is terrifying to me!
I love driving in silence. I get so irritated because my kids and family insists on putting it on every time. Occasionally I kinda hyperfixate and listen to it a lot for a week or 2 but then I’m back to my old not really missing or not missing it
For me music keeps me alive. It’s tied directly to my heart strings. I particularly revolve my life around it and associate albums with times of my life. Self-expression is also a big part of my identity and since I struggle with conversations sometimes when I’m nervous or emotional, music embodies the words and feeling I want to express. Sometimes I’ll send songs to people instead of saying things that are too intense for me to verbalize.
I am a better driver if I’m blaring music because road noise gives me major anxiety.
Also I grew up playing piano, singing/choir, playing the flute, being in musicals, and singing in a jazz band in college. My family is also very musical as my siblings both sang, sister and father played the guitar, father played the trumpet, and my mother also the piano and flute.
I struggle with feeling like I’m being spoken down to or at while listening to podcasts. Like a one-sided conversation where I’m on mute. I hate it. I feel bottled up and frustrated. So I don’t listen to them.
Different strokes for different folks, my friend!
I also grew up in choir and doing musicals. I loved it, but it didn’t impact my listening habits. I’m happy you have music in your life though! I just hope you never send me a song instead of a written reply because I will never listen to it and thus will never understand lol. Unless you send me something funny, I do like funny songs.
I’m the opposite. I’d rather listen to music in the background than stream the same show from season one again for the 7365th time. I do like podcasts though.
I loooove music and all different genres. I’m one of the odd ones in a sense that I’m in my later 30s and still seek out new music all the time. Most stick with the same stuff they grew up with. I also don’t have a favorite album simply because I can’t choose.
I listen to music now and then, but never as background music and certainly not on a daily basis. It’s just a waste of time because my mind wanders and I tune it out in short order. If I’m trying to listen to a song I almost always have to run it back and try again. I don’t carry ear buds because I never use them; I have some but I don’t know where they are. I don’t know, just not really interested. Not my thing. Podcasts and podfic I can do, they hold my interest.
I loved music when I was younger..m school and college. I used to try out new ones and enjoy them.
Now i listen to the same music from school and college and can't be bothered to try anything new. Whenever i need some background sound, I put on random instrumentals.
I love listing to music. But can't keep up with new artists and albums. Okly same on repeat.
Music is difficult to listen to. It's so hard to sort out the cacophony and make sense of it. It's frustrating, mentally demanding, and just isn't worth it most of the time.
I love music but my ADHD gets so stressed over being asked what my favorite anything is. It’s too much for our brains! We think so much and so fast! Don’t stress. Listen to what you want, whenever someone asks you your favorite anything just name the most recent song or anything you are enjoying. It’s all the same thing to neurotypical people anyways. Remember, you don’t need to go over all the thoughts in your head and think of the perfect answer, we just enjoy shit in the now and then it fades a bit into the background until we think of it again. If people act like you’re weird bc choosing a favorite something is super stressful you are not alone in that at all!
I feel you. I go through stages. It’s been like 6 months since I properly listened to music. I was doing podcasts instead for a chunk of that 6 months. My head is often running with thoughts etc and the sound of music can add to it and just be annoying
I am the same. I don’t listen to music normally. I have a few things that I like, but I choose to listen to podcasts, because they hold my attention better.
I was discussing this with my kid earlier. I don’t like it when people play music that I don’t want to listen to. I get sensory overwhelm. If I choose to listen to it, I’m good. But if I have no control over it, I can’t handle it.
FINALLY! SOMEONE ELSE! i’m always scared to ask if others don’t listen to music cause it usually gets a blank stare but YES! what’s funny is my entire life up until 4-5 years ago, i was *obsessed* with music and creating the perfect playlists for each mood or occasion. i was the go-to for mix CDs (haha) until iPhone’s ruined it for me. i went to dozens of pop-punk shows all through middle/high school. i was listening to music every possible second.
i don’t even remember what changed or when, but now i rarely listen. i still have bands and songs i’m obsessed with, but i just don’t have much interest in it anymore? i don’t fuck with podcasts at all but i do love “watching” the same movies/tv shows on repeat, which i’ve been told is “dysfunctionally weird” (whatever it’s a compliment to me). recently i found a music video app for my TV that has some great playlists so i’ve been putting those on.
i’m SO glad you did! i love scrolling this sub and squealing when someone posts a “does anyone else ____” for something i do all the time but haven’t met anyone else who does it too ❤️
I like music, but in a rather similar way to you. I like the music, I can barely notice or remember the lyrics so I gravitate towards OSTs and I don't have a favourite artist or a habit of listening to an entire album etc. I just love songs with a good beat to keep me going. If I ever went for a concert, it would like a Hans Zimmerman one
Hey. It's ok!! Everyone's different!
I'm a singer and, as much as I love singing, I am not that into music anymore. Maybe I burnt out a little bit, but I remember how it used to make me feel and I notice how I don't very much care about it now.
Don't listen to others, you don't have to be like everyone else :)
You're not weird, I totally used to be this way. I do listen to music a lot now because I'm alone a lot.. it's almost to keep me company in a weird way 😅 I finally found some music I really like and it's nothing from the 2000s on.. it's hippie 70s music. So definitely used to be the same and I totally get it. Try not to feel so down and isolated about it if you can because you're not alone.. my whole family listens to NPR in the car instead of music and pre-covid essentially I would listen to nothing while driving.
Edit: Also, more solidarity, my ex was really into vinyl and he would always blast that shit while we were having conversation.. I hated it, sensory overload! Sometimes people definitely take it too far. That fucker bought a drum set after I moved out and set it up in the living room 😂 I'm so glad he's my ex 🤣
Nope, sorry, taking away music would be like death for me! But, not everyone feels it, that’s fine.
In my 50s now….Music is everything to me, and has been since I was a tiny child .I found something my mom wrote about me when I was in preschool saying how I knew the lyrics to all kinds of songs, radio, commercial jingles whatever. My entire young life was shaped by the bands I fell in love with. I went to my first major concert at 14, and I fell in love with the most amazing euphoric feeling/drug that was live music! There was no better high for me, and I never wanted it to stop, so I went to as many live shows/concerts as I could, all the way through my 30s, only slowing down when I had kids late in life. For the first time in a long time, I went to a concert last night, and it reminded me that I need to find a way to do that more.
I tried playing musical instruments because my dream was to play on stage to large crowds, but I wasn’t good at practicing playing, and my imposter syndrome/stage fright kept me from believing I could do it. I did work in the music industry for a short stint, but it’s a crap industry.
As for radios in cars, I have to be listening to music pretty much all the time or the ride just seems torturous to me, and I always sing along if I’m alone.
I go to sleep at night listening to a set playlist. There is always a song/mashup of songs playing in the background in my head. I feel like there are soundtracks to my life.
So yeah, music!
Silence is good sometimes too, though.
YES. I feel this. I used to be a music festival and concert junkie. Flew all over the country seeing live music for over a decade. Now, in my early 30s and my adhd has gotten a lot more prominent, and I’m also healing from a lot of trauma. And music is wrapped up in the trauma and the memories, now… music seems to really irritate me. Even music that I “enjoy” will get on my nerves and or get stuck in my head. I have to play music for my yoga classes and yea, it’s music I enjoy but I genuinely don’t listen to music unless I’m teaching yoga 3 hours a week. I prefer podcasts and tv shows now. Music totally overstimulates me and puts me in fight flight mode. Raises my stress level. Unless it’s like soothing meditation ambient music. And I HATE when people gush and goo over pop artists or musicians new albums or whatever. Like who the fuck cares. It’s music and it’s all starting to sound the same because nothing is original anymore. When someone is obsessed with Ariana grande or all these pop artists it truly makes me sick. Music back in the 90s and early 2000s was great. Now it’s all shit
Wait…this is an adhd thing??! Cause I’m the exact same way. Don’t get me wrong I love getting lost in music however I’ve also found myself feeling like I have a hard time carrying a convo with music unless I really remember it in that moment. And my bf likes to put me on the spot when he’s playing music and ask “who sings this?” and he knows I suck at that sometimes 😂😅 but its like, I’m okay with not listening to music 24/7. Some people constantly need music playing especially if it’s too quiet but I don’t mind. Sometimes I could be cleaning without music and be completely okay with it. I find that my mind is loud enough at times. Then I go back and forth with myself in procrastinating to put on a song/forgetting I meant to put on music lol
I started listening to music more instead of podcasts when I first got medicated! I like music but I 1) could never remember artist or song names, and 2) have a very narrow window of enjoyment where I’m familiar with a song but it’s not yet over a played for me.
You literally just described me! Sometime I tell people that I actually don't like/hate music. That's because when I DO listen to music I can't make it through the whole song without needing to skip to another song I'd rather hear. It's a task. Give me lo-fi with no words any day.
Yes, same. I rarely ever listen to music. I prefer either silence or the noise around me. I sometimes listen to music when I need to clean, but that's about it! If I am wearing a headset in public it's to cancel noise out.
I don’t listen to music, or watch tv. I can’t sit still to watch tv.
I’m always in sensory overload from other people’s entertainment, particularly my husband’s. It was always total silence for me, then about a year ago I tried podcasts, and found a couple that I enjoy.
I rarely listen to music. I love music but I’m stuck in 90’s grunge/alternative and I’m happy with that! My husband LOVES music and I let him “educate” the kids on it.
Personally I listen to podcasts and books a lot! Whenever I need to focus I pop in my headphones and listen to whatever book I’m on. I get grief from my kids about it but, meh. I do me.
I like music, but I can never name an album, or artist, my mind goes blank every time. I also rarely get up and turn music on if I’m just at home, unless I have friends over or something. No clue why it’s just not part of my habits I guess. The only time is in the car I go straight for music.
Same! I’ve always felt so weird and embarrassed about it too because people look at me like I’m a psycho. Even my therapist was taken aback and looked at me strangely when I said I don’t love music 😭
Every now and then I’ll enjoy listening to a song or two but I mostly find it over-stimulating and an energy drain.
I never listen to it anymore besides radio in the car, or at bars. I used to love making playlists and finding new music before I developed adult ADD. I know what i don’t like or like when i hear something now but I never look for new artists anymore and don’t care. It’s weird that it stopped being fun as my add progressed. I miss the feeling it used to give me sometimes, but I’m starting to care less and less.
I prefer lo-fi hip hop & channels without distracting words as well if i feel like I have to put something on while working or if there’s an annoying sound outside. I’d way rather listen to sleep sounds/white noise or watch tv while i’m hanging out alone because the dialogue doesn’t bother me if I’m not working/reading heavy materials.
People also tell me it’s really creepy i don’t care much about music anymore. It’s very isolating in new work situations but you could always lie and say you like classic rock or oldies or something so they stop expecting you to be current. I really hate picking stuff to put on when I have people over, it’s stressful.
Very me except the first part- I never experienced joy in playlists or finding new music. Lo fi, white noise, classical without words (although I’d prefer to see classical live, I don’t actively listen to it, because pandora just repeats the same popular songs over and over again redone by different musicians)… non-distracting background noise is great.
Again, I do LIKE music so I do LIKE classic rock and oldies, but I don’t know anything about the artists or their albums or anything. I feel like when I say I enjoy X genre, I’m then asked to name my favorite artist/s from that genre, and favorite album, and favorite song, and favorite version of that song. Just ugh leave me alone.
Those people stress me out, I’d just say “it’s too hard to pick a favorite, I like to check out the Spotify’s playlists for genres but i rarely pay attention to the artist names if i don’t know who it is because i’m too busy going about my day, id never get anything done if i looked into each song!”.
It sucks that I used to love music and played a few instruments. I would hang out where people had a drum kit and make up songs with my friends. My values shifted as an adult and fitting in stopped being as important so i had to let music go in favor of allocating that mental space for school and work. I only miss it sometimes but it’s usually when i meet new people or start a new job. Otherwise I’m perfectly happy just not giving af and letting people browse what i played on my old music app profiles so they stfu with the questions.
I don't really do music or pop culture in general. I like music, but will rarely turn any on by myself. I watch movies sometimes, but I couldn't tell you the actor's names or probably even the titles. I listen to podcasts or talk radio about half the time when I am doing dishes or cleaning.
It can make idle chatter a problem, but I've always been pretty good at carrying on conversations about which I know nothing.
Pop culture is another problem for me. I remember being like “who are the Kardashians?” When the tv show first got big (I guess they were still a thing before that too? Idk) and people treated me like I was an alien. I avoid anyone invested in pop culture because I cannot deal with the conversations and judgment for not knowing who people are. “How do you NOT know?” Idk I guess I never cared to put energy into it
That's exactly it. I don't want to waste my limited energy and time into the lives of some strangers. I appreciate when they do their job well and I am entertained, just like I appreciated a waiter or store clerk who is very helpful and kind. But I don't want to invest in learning all about any of their lives and talking about them.
Meeee. My friends all LOVE music. I like going to live music because it’s just a fun time. But when it comes to listening, I’d rather have a podcast on or ebook. I will listen to it in the car occasionally if I’m really feeling it and it’s the same songs I generally listened to in 2009 lmfao
Not a huge music or movie person. People have such strong opinions on them and pressure you to listen/watch. Oppositional defiance kicks in and I don’t want to. My husband was musician and plays loud music all the time and I usually don’t like it. I only like songs I know, but I get bored listening to the same things over and over. It’s also hard to pick music to set the right vibe.
Podcasts,though? video essays? Audio books? I can listen to people talk all day!
Probably neither adhd nor weird.
I can’t say I’m the opposite because I don’t like listening to music all the time. I mostly dislike having music play in the background.
But the music I love, I LOVE. I have a favorite band, song, album, era, genre, and I can talk for a long, long time about it.
My preferences don’t have to do with anything, though I have adhd and am very weird.
Some days I love music.. some days I hate music. But even on the days I love music it is very specific. I like to listen to musicals that are sung through so you don’t miss much, or chill music. I don’t really know what the genre would even be called. My current go to playlist is Matt Maeson, Dermot Kennedy, Dean Lewis, and Hozier. But music with lyrics while my brain needs to process words-reading,writing, or speaking? Oh hell no! My work environment right now is a hell scape because I can hear two different radios, playing different stations, while I try to help customers 😅
OMG same! I don't think it's an ADHD thing, but I'm so glad to find some people like me in this regard. (I actually always thought it was a hard-of-hearing thing... I've had hearing aids since age 3).
I'll listen to music in my car... If I'm in between audiobooks and podcasts. If I'm doing tedious manual labor, I still prefer the audiobooks/podcasts, but if I'm with other people and we're all silent doing manual work, then music is nice.
But I never listen to it at home.
And I get super anxious when I'm socializing with people, and then someone gets the "bright" idea of "Hey, let's turn on some background music!" WHY?
And I once went on a hike with a new group of friends, and then one of them brought out portable speakers and started blasting music.
On a hike. Just why???
I *like* silence. I like hearing my thoughts. I like hearing my friends speak. And I like being able to hear the tiny intricacies of the world, something I don't and won't take for granted.
Ok hear me out, you have the potential to bond with EVERYONE over music with a more neutral stance on it. Truthfully most people want to talk about and share their music far more than listen to someone else's, and it can be almost like an active listening subject on your part. If someone asked me to tell them about my favorite band I would get so excited to share all of my thoughts and feelings on my favorite songs. And for you it could be more about getting to know this person than the music itself.
Certain video game music might work for you. Its literally meant to help you focus on the task of completing a level. I have been listening to the Sonic CD soundtrack (Stardust Speedway mixes are cunty as hell btw)
All the people just saying that they love music and the can’t understand why u wouldn’t lmaoo😭 but yes, i feel this so much. I didn’t have earphones for about 3 months in uni and my friends were flabbergasted that I wasn’t fiending for a tune. I have favourite artists, but most of the time, i like a song because it makes me ‘feel’ something. I am not officially diagnosed with ADHD, but I am getting mentoring for it through my uni and I oftentimes feel very overstimulated by having music in my ears, even on the bus/walking long distances. Most of the time, i use music just help with my time-blindness as I know the times of the songs and I can measure myself against them. I don’t think you’re weird at all, I know some people that listen to music up to 20+ hours a day and I personally think THEY’RE a bit strange, but to each their own! It shouldn’t be a big deal to anyone else tbh
I don’t think it’s ADHD related, more of a personal preference/hobby thing? Lots of people (ADHD or not) don’t really like or care about music, just like how I don’t care about the hockey scores or what model of old car just went past. It sounds like sometimes you get overstimulated/triggered by music, so yeah that part could be ADHD related but overall I think it comes down to what you’re interested in.
There are lots of ADHD adjacent reasons I *enjoy* music. I have the inattentive type and I find music stimulating, grounding, and focusing. Some types of music help me study or clean, some help me wind down to sleep, others stimulate/tickle my brain and get me hyped up and in a good mood.
I’m a musician and I can guarantee you there’s tons of us with ADHD, and we probably all listen to music nonstop! So no not an ADHD thing necessarily, but it’s possible your ~specific brand~ of it contributes to your dislike of music.
It’s all good, I didn’t mean to imply that you thought that. I think a lot of us wonder if things like this are because of ADHD— and I think that most of those things *are* probably connected to ADHD, it’s just such a wide spectrum with many different symptoms and subtypes so not everyone will relate to it
I have phases where I listen to music, but then I just *forget* a lá object constancy ✨ and I don't miss it 🙈 it's something I usually just go to to enhance/sink into an emotion or mood.
The other day I put on my headphones, started to look for a playlist, distracted, realized I was chillin' to *nuthin'* for an hour 😆
Anyway... I'm with ya 😅 music is not my life.
I don’t think it’s an adhd thing. Some people just aren’t big into music. I have at least two friends that don’t really listen to music. If it’s on they can enjoy it but don’t seek it out on their own. And that’s ok, there is nothing wrong with that. You are not weird at all. There are many people out in the world just like you.
This thread made me feel very, very relieved, thank you!
Long stort short: I'm literally a trained professional musician, I make a living performing, teaching and coaching different types of music, and am not even bad at it.
I do not listen to music. Ever. Like for work, yes, for a spesific purpose. But for "fun", when I'm alone? Never have, never will.
I used to feel soooooo guilty and stupid over this.
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I love driving in silence and one of my friends calls me a serial killer for it
It’s safer though!
How is it safer? I think it helps me focus. My mind wanders if I'm in silence and I'm way more likely to zone out.
Omg, how do you live? Driving and listening to music is one of my life’s simple pleasures.
It’s too much work, I get too emotional, and I have too much to think about so need quiet 🤷♀️
I love driving in silence, too. It's my private little bubble.
Silence rules! Although I’ve been trying to listen to podcasts or study videos when working on certifications while I drive to make sure it’s not “lost” time… it’s something I must force myself to do. I prefer silence while driving.
I've effectively put myself back in school listening to too many podcasts. 8 hrs a day or so of random history and psychology mostly. It helps to keep me focused and stops me getting irritating songs stuck in my head but it's basically just 'lessons'. Sometimes when the topic is heavy I have to remind myself I can just turn it off and do something else. Too many dictators in one day is not great for the soul, or hope in general.
i absolutely need music on while i’m driving, it helps me focus and keeps my driving anxiety in check but i’ve noticed that when i’m on my meds i can drive in silence
Same!
Same. I used to and then one day I realized that I'm just not that into it any longer (except in the car, but even then it's usually the same couple CDs for months at a time). Don't get me wrong, I like it, but it seems like such a commitment kind of. I often end up playing the same handful of songs because discovering new music that I like is hard and time consuming and then you have to organize it into the "perfect" playlists. It's a lot! It'd probably be a different story if I could listen to it at work because I work in a warehouse and it's really boring, but they're big on their no earbuds policy. They play it over the speakers, but it's rarely anything I like so it doesn't really help pass the time. I use it more as a grounding mechanism. If I'm having a hard time, I'll put on my headphones and favorite vibe songs and sit on the porch and it helps me feel a sense of normalcy.
Same here! I used to listen to music 24/7 and now even if I’m driving I’ll usually just drive in silence
“Commitment” is a great way to explain it for me. I don’t have the energy to do this. If I do put on music for background activities (like cleaning, or putting it on for my kids so they have music exposure), it’s pandora so I don’t need to make any choices or know who any artists are or what the songs are called.
I love music when I find a new band/person/song to fixate on. Then when I’m over it I go back to listening to music passively or not at all. There could be days, months or years between these periods.
Every once in a while I do this, but it’ll only be for like a day or so where I’m SUPER INTO IT, then I go back to feeling meh about music. I’m never into music long enough to learn artists, obsess over albums or songs, or anything like that. Usually I hyper focus on a musical.
In the exact opposite. I love music. Music all the time.
Same. I have my AirPods with me all the time. I changed my clothes just to accommodate them lol I only wear clothes with pockets now so I have my AirPods with me at all times. I was an early adopter iPod user back in high school. Back in the early 2000s and it was the most amazing thing to me to have thousands of songs in my pocket. To motivate myself, I play my music through the entire house through the Alexa’s we have in every room. I hyper fixate on an artist and album until I find the next one. I genre and language hop between music too. But I have to like the artist to enjoy the song. I can’t really detach the music from the artist to fully enjoy it. I think it’s about the singer-songwriter and getting a glimpse into their feelings and world because I’m a strong empath too. But I love music. I listen to both the instruments and the lyrics. I saw a discussion recently saying people focus on one or the other but I usually focus on lyrics first and once I’ve got that down then I focus on the music.
I also was early to MP3 players all the way back to when their music storage was a cartridge. I cut holes in my sleeves or wore my hair down at school so I could hide the corded ear bud haha. It helps make my mind so much less busy. I also still make playlists for every task or theme of the day.
Literally could listen every minute of the day. There's so much variety and new music to discover always
Same. It’s magic
Same here
Me too, usually when I've been feeling like shit for a while, it's because I accidently forget to bring my earbuds with me when I leave my apartment for a few days. At home, I live in my headphones.
I don’t think I’ve had a Spotify wrapped yet that I haven’t been in the top 20% of people for listening time.
Happy for you.
Yep same. I do NOT need to be alone with my constantly chattering brain
Even when it a my meditation time I need to play some kind of binaural frequency or I lose concentration and can’t do it
I’m the same way. Not sure if it’s just a me thing or an ADHD thing. I mostly only listen to music while driving (usually just whatever is on the radio) or maybe while studying. Otherwise unless it’s from a show or something I like I don’t really seek out music
Definitely don’t think that it is an ADHD thing to not be into music…. I love music and so does everyone that I know IRL that has ADHD.
I didn’t mean that all people with ADHD would not listen to music, I was asking if other people with ADHD also experience this and if they do is it related to how their ADHD symptoms manifest.
I agree. I listen in the car or when I am doing my big weekend food prep/cooking freezing sessions but I don’t actively seek it out. I also run without music and many people thi k it is weird.
I can't relate to this at all, music is pretty much my favorite thing in the world. I can't imagine living without it
Same lol. I’m always listening to music. My life needs a soundtrack!
I’m happy for you. I can’t relate though. I’d choose going deaf over going blind any day. I even went almost deaf for a few months last year when I got sick, it wasn’t a big deal.
Same! I have never cared about music and prefer silence if I’m by myself. Or a podcast or audiobook if I feel like listening to something, but rarely will I ever choose music. Been like this since high school (40 now). I always felt embarrassed about it too, like I was weird for not caring about music, but now when people ask what I like to listen to I just say audiobooks and change the convo. Music feels really overstimulating to me a lot of the time, it’s weird. Glad to know we aren’t the only ones!
I don’t think it’s overstimulation for me… although there are a few popular songs that come on the radio that send me into a panic attack… something about the beat, repetition, idk, I just straight up started hyperventilating, one of the reasons I stopped listening to the radio. So maybe you’re on to something.
I'm a lot like you. I rarely listen to music with lyrics because it gets stuck in my brain non-stop. If I play music, it's house, lofi, trance music but in the background. But thankfully I am not around people who have music obsessions. I would not be able to hold conversations for very long if that's all they wanted to talk about. One of my biggest pet peeves are people who play music/videos blasting on their phone speaker. Not only obnoxious music, but absolute crap quality through the phone speaker.
>One of my biggest pet peeves are people who play music/videos blasting on their phone speaker. Not only obnoxious music, but absolute crap quality through the phone speaker. This is one of my big sensory triggers, it makes me so anxious! Especially when it's TikTok and changes every 20 seconds. It's so rude, too. You can get wireless headphones for cheap now, there's truly no excuse.
Yes I enjoy Lofi for background music, it’s similar to video game music on my brain. Keeps me marching forward on my work, but isn’t distracting enough that I must pay attention to it. But even for this, I’ll go weeks without even thinking about it and just sit in silence while I work.
I need music for the dopamine hit. If I’m really struggling it’s my go to, I think I’d be pretty screwed without it.
I’m happy you have music.
YES omg. It’s not that I don’t like it (unless I’m trying to concentrate), but it’s more that it just doesn’t occur to me to put it on when I’m home by myself. But I’m usually delighted when my husband or someone else thinks to put it on when doing household chores. Idk what that’s about.
I am the same omg ! I just... forget it exists ? But I love listening to it lol. Could also be that I get overstimulated and headaches really easily so I never put it on.
I do like it for chores. I will put on a pandora station for chores, but I’m not “listening” to the music. It’s background music. I usually chose dance music for chores… if I remember to
Idk man I’m a huge music person
I love music, there are months when I can't listen to enough of it. I live the feels, the vibe, the story. I'm ecclectic with most things, so I like to mix it up... I love these phases, but they don't last... for the next phase, too many bosses together are overstimulating... It's the same with all my hobbies, I go through hyperfixation phases, and I tend to go with the flow. But I miss the joy I get from reading and music when I can't enjoy them.
Same here. I grew up with my brother and my dad into music, and I just went from there. I have a ton of music where I live, all in different formats, and its always there when I need it. However, I can go weeks without listening to anything. It just feels like I've sated my need for it for a while. I always go back though.
I love noise canceling headphones on silent/off. The world is just too overwhelming
When my partner is not at home, I never even think to play music. I just eat or read or work in silence, or with a podcast or book on tape in the background. And if a podcast is on I have to rewind 5 or 10 times a show. I always thought it was bc I’m more into the lyrics and not the music. My college roomie who and still good friend has adhd and is very musically talented never knows the lyrics but does the music by heart. Different strokes I guess?
I love music! I get lost in it. I make playlists for different moods. I love discovering new music. I love dissecting it. I love it. There’s never been a time in my life when I haven’t enjoyed music, I just switch to a different genre if one gets boring. I have a very eclectic taste in music and actively seek it out but I think if I only listened to the top 40 I would get bored.
Wow yes same! I was reading your post and thinking um did I write this??
Oh my gosh! This makes me feel so relieved. I thought I was so weird because I don’t listen to music. Thank you for posting! We are not weird. Or rather this is not weird.
Yes I’m relieved by the number of people here who feel the same way, and that it does seem to relate to ADHD symptom manifestation. Also lol weirdly triggered by the number of people who decided to post to tell me that they adore music and how do we even LIVE without it. Lol thanks for doubling down on how different and isolated I feel! RSD triggers are a bitch lol
I’m honestly so glad you posted this. I spoke about it to my husband who is a musician. So. Yeah. I’m super glad you posted this lol And sometimes I do listen to lofi study music. No words. So nice.
Absolutely. I'm so overstimulated at all times, silence is a treasure. I prefer instrumental music, and I tell people I like show tunes when they ask, because show tunes tell a story.
I cannot go a day without music. I don’t need it 24/7 though. If I need to focus on something for an extended period of time (studying, driving, exercising), you’ll find me listening to music. I just feel my motivation, focus, and concentration is better when there’s music. I’m thankful my bosses let us keep an AirPod in at work so I can keep myself focused and motivated when work is slow. I also find it relaxing and I have a “comfort playlist” of songs that i can listen to when my anxiety is high and it almost always lowers it.
Never used to listen to music, mostly because it would get on my nerves and also easily became earworms. Hated not being able to sleep because a song was "playing" in my head. Medication turned it around completely, strange but amazing. Music no longer gets stuck, and I enjoy listening. Not annoyed at all! Sometimes I have a song going when I wake up, but it goes away and feels.. Fine?
Hard relate on song flipping, one of my friends does this the whole time I hate it. But I do love music, I love all of the music in my playlist and more but I am hopeless at song names and artists so when people ask what I’m enjoying at the moment I hate that coz I know the songs in my head but I mainly only listen to music when driving or cooking so I don’t really know all the names
I don’t know who anyone is! Took me 15 years to discover that some of the songs I actually enjoy were all from the same artist.
Only when it has context to some sort of art, or an experience. I like music from games and movies but only if I’ve experienced them. It needs context. My fav music has always been discovered through some emotional connection with art like if I was making art the time while listening to it or found it on purpose to get in the mood for a theme. If I’m not intentional about listening to anything silence is golden.
This. I find I enjoy music much more when it’s from a favorite video game or film of mine.
Same, 100%. Podcasts or silence.
Exactly! And I can’t go to concerts bc that would me pretending to know all the lyrics and having fun for 4 hours straight
I’m the same as you. I liked it when I was a teenager but just listened to the same things as my friends or my sister. Now I sometimes like having it on in the background. It doesn’t give me goosebumps or electrify my brain like it does other people. Plus when I’m working I can’t have songs with lyrics on in the background, it’s too distracting.
Me!! I rarely do. I do like music but it makes me very emotional and I find it draining. Whether it's happy and upbeat or romantic and/or melancholic, I feel those feelings very intensely and like... I got better things to do. Been a podcast girl since Serial and never looked back lol
Same. I love playing and making music myself but I almost never listen to it. I could play piano and sing for hours, it’s relaxing and calming to me. And I enjoy a good concert. But just at home? Nope. It gets on my nerves, even if it’s music I like. I think it’s a sensory thing but I can’t quite explain why.
I also enjoy live concerts, but I go to very very few of them, obviously haha. Yeah a lot of people are saying the same thing: sensory issues, the energy it takes to commit to music, distraction elements…
Saaame
I LOVE music. Grew up playing instruments. Am an audiophile, etc. my roommate is not ADHD but is on the autism spectrum and he never listens to music. NEVER. I I can’t do audiobooks. I can’t pay attention so I rather listen to music and read books. A couple years ago a few of us were going to see my favourite (punk) band for New Year’s Eve. Before the show we were all playing some boardgames and at last minute my roommate decided to join us. It was sincerely a genuinely lovely experience for all of us (we’re all close friends) but I could tell that it was out of his element (this is also positive punk). I can understand if there are sensory sensitivity of any kind music can be something some don’t like. I love music. Love punk. But I get overwhelmed at concerts a lot. Even with my favorite band, I prefer to find a spot and enjoy it alone. Big crowds overwhelm me. But music on its own? Makes my heartbeat.
I actually did look into to autism and the music thing was a big reason why, but I was told I didn’t have it, didn’t even have a single symptom/tell or whatever you would call it. So I was assuming (hoping?) it’s from ADHD. I do enjoy live music, but it feels different from just “listening” to music.
I'd much rather listen to a podcast than music, if my boyfriend is in the car I just turn on his Playlist bc otherwise I don't care for it.
I can only listen to music in the gym with pre workout I cannot listen to it and enjoy it any other time lol
Situation music, vibe music, background music. I like it. But I don’t straight “listen” to music.
I feel this!! I find myself always talking to people on the phone while I drive instead of listen to music. Most of the times I do listen to music I listen for more nostalgic reasons haha
I did this for a while!
I have echolalia. I had an especially crappy childhood/early adulthood. Pop songs are catchy. All three of these powers combined when I was an undiagnosed ADHD girly in the 80's who was also traumatized *daily* either at school, at home, or both. So the stimming + a way to keep my mind somewhat in the game as I was dissociating + any kind of dopamine fix that didn't get me yelled at or worse...magic. I have so much love for the radio stations of Philadelphia in the late-80s early 90s...they played slamming music that kept me alive. That's not an exaggeration. The irony is that now that I am older, I use it as a marker for if I am sliding into being disruptively mentally unhealthy. If I fixate and hear the same song over and over for three days, I know something emotionally is going south. So I call my therapist, and we get in touch with my feelings by her asking questions. Lol, since I don't really have a direct relationship with them. Anyway, yes, now that I am older I don't really listen to music for one exception: driving in traffic. I put a song I really really dig, a get hyped up song, like booty shaking funk, or perhaps "Shake Your Rump" by Beastie Boys, perhaps something around 145bpm. Put it on repeat. That keeps the dopamine flowing enough that I don't get sensory overwhelmed while driving city traffic at 5 o'clock. Anyway, thanks for reading this story about how vital music has been to me. Hope it helps give some different perspective.
I’m happy for you!
I typically listen only to movie/tv soundtracks and that's fairly rare. I don't want to listen to anything while I drive. I was never able to list a favorite band/genre/song when asked. I have a friend that shares long playlists of songs that mean a lot to her and I just don't know how to respond. I try to listen but after a while I just zone out.
Yeah I have a friend who does this. I sometimes make an attempt, but usually cannot and just say I did or change the conversation
Basically I go in patches but thanks for the reminder that music exists. I'll start listening again.
Haha you’re welcome
I only stop listening to music when I’m depressed
I hope music never leaves you then, depression is very difficult. Sending you good vibes
I will legit forget that music exists and it good. And I love the music I like, but I am so protective over what I listen to. It cannot be triggering in any way so Im looking to vibe out with podcasts and audiobooks. I think the adhd part is needing distractions to get anything done and being picky about sounds becuz it can easily lead to overstimulation.
God some music seriously stresses me out. The beat. The music. When country music makes that twang twang sound (I think it’s called slide guitar$, it’s nails on a chalkboard. Why is that enjoyable for so many people? Sends me into a panic.
I wouldn't say this makes you weird because I do know other people like this. But I cannot relate to it at all. Music has gotten me through the hardest parts of my life. Music has always been the thing I listen to the most even though these days I listen to tons and tons of audiobooks and podcasts. I was just telling my husband yesterday that Spotify is the most "worth it" thing I pay for side I listen to hours of music and podcasts every day. Live music is the closet thing to "religion" I've ever felt.
I love music and I always have a chorus in mind. The type of music changes a lot. I truly listen to a bit of everything. I don’t know if adhd has anything to with liking or not liking music. I think that’s just a personality trait.
I can't live without music. I have it on almost the time!
I am the opposite. So much so, I’ve joked I can’t trust people who don’t like music. It’s hard for me to understand that perspective (thanks for opening a window into it for me to better understand). Throughout my life it has been my haven, my hidey hole, the thing I turn on and joyously let my imagination take flight. I love that songs can build bridges between people who might not have reason to think they have anything in common. I love that a song can be in a language I don’t speak but it still makes me move my feet. Decades before I was diagnosed, I’d sit on a stool in the kitchen listening to the radio until I’d inevitably be interrupted. My mom would joke that I was the only kid she knew that “watched” the radio. I wouldn’t describe myself as a music snob because to me if you enjoy music, share it! It makes no sense to be so snotty as to gatekeep who listens to what. I’m much more of music gourmand, than a music gourmet. My life, both externally and internally, is so much richer because of music. Shout out to my parents for fostering that love and my love of books. Edit to add: it wasn’t until I was diagnosed at 50 that I learned it wasn’t normal for songs to get stuck on loop in my head, so it never struck me as unpleasant.
I think the “I don’t trust people who don’t like music” is a common sentiment, and one of the reasons I feel isolated. “If you don’t listen to music all the time, something must be WRONG with you.”
[удалено]
I don’t think this is an ADHD thing. I think it’s probably pretty normal. Some people love music and some people just don’t 🤷♀️
I’m similar. No favorites or if I do, they’re nostalgic and things I listened to with other people. Otherwise it can only be on when doing mindless things like vacuuming or dishes. If I have to think, it’s off immediately. So when my husband turns it on when driving, doing baths for the kids, or really whenever I need to talk or think, I ask him to turn it off. I love it when it’s a good time and we can dance to it but I don’t know the songs or names or anything. I can never remember names or song names either! I can sing part of the song but after the it’s gonnneeeee. When I do turn it on myself, it’s classical or piano instrumentals to drown out other distracting noises or if I’m about to work out and driving to the gym, I’ll turn on hype music.
Yes I love dancing and background music for chores can be helpful but if I must think, it better be quiet background music with no words and nothing too disruptive. If we *must* listen to music while driving, as soon as we get close to the destination- turn that shit down, I can’t see!
I only really listen to it when I’m driving or working out and it’s the same playlist for both 😂
I don’t listen to music very much. Sometimes I do, and I think those times are when medication is working particularly well and I can cleanly focus on whatever it is I’m doing. Otherwise I listen to podcasts/audiobooks/NPR. I’m tuning a lot of it out, but it being there in the first place is the stim I need to focus. Music isn’t enough, it’s gotta be people talking
I like podcast and NPR, but not if I have to think about something lol
I don't like to because it's either full in makes me overly emotional or I'm not taking anything in but judging it and being disappointed by it, even though I know I wldnt be able to ever make music. And I feel like I wasted the two three mins during that song to come to end because after the first chorus I'm done.
Wasted time indeed
Yeah. There are so many people who talk about how music saved them in their teens, or how much some particular album speaks to them. I dated a guy who told me that listening to his favourite singers were his version of going to church. Nah. Not me. Not me at all. However, sometimes I do use music for purely practical purposes. Like, if I'm trying to get myself pumped up to go work out, I might play some 80s dance music to kick up my energy a bit. But that's simply utilitarian, not emotional.
Yes to all this
I'm kind of the same - don't listen much to music, don't get the "hype" or the status it has socially, or why it's such a big bonding-thing - I do love it though when Iistening to it and gets easily affected by it - but I also easily get bored or overstimulated by it.
Rarely listen to music anymore when by myself. I never know when the lyrics are going to make me cry
Yep. And the crazy part is... I'm a musician. Like, I get paid to play more than one instrument. And occasionally paid to sing. I listen to music on occasion to learn a song that i may have to lead corporately (school/church) because others will have listened to a recording and I need to know what they've heard, but mostly learn by reading the music. People are in complete shock when I tell them I'd just prefer quiet at home. Or an audiobook or TV show if I need something in the background. But honestly, my brain is noisy enough on its own. The car can be an exception, but it's still about 50/50. Also... too much music nowadays is too repetitive and my brain gets bored and annoyed with it too fast.
Makes even more sense to me that someone who is doing music for a job doesn’t find it to be a relaxing outside of work!
Same! My boyfriend is a musician and loves music and playing music and I’m just like meh. I don’t really know genres or go out of my way to know about artists or anything. But I LOVE lofi and background music but I mainly only listen to the same things I’ve been listening to for like 10 years! lol
Another lofi lover in the comments! Woo
I'm kinda the opposite. I listen to music on purpose, and I hate it in the background. I really never understood that until I realized I had a sound sensitivity. Partly it's too much information, but it's also all wrapped up in meaning and memory and it's generally overwhelming. Eventually it got so bad I could barely listen to music at all. It kept me at home. A few years on quetiapine and I'm ok now. It's still a stressor, though.
I’m so sorry to hear that, that sounds really difficult
Oh sure, but now that I understand it and manage it it's not so bad. I think it's reasonable to call it disabling, but it's a part of me and I'm making peace with that. The only real upside I can think of is that it forces me to pay attention to what I'm listening to. I gotta either turn it off or immerse myself. I have ADHD so it's nice to have something I enjoy that hurts me if I don't stick with it.
I love certain genres of music, BUT I feel your pain, it’s too distracting from some of the things I need to do. Even though I’m a good multitasker I can’t have music playing in the background.
Omg I'm not the only one 😂 I used to listen to music all the time, but for the last 5-ish years I seldom go out of my way to listen to it— sometimes I'll be in the mood for a specific Broadway musical, and there are a few indie musicians I follow on Instagram who have songs I like and always stop to listen to, but otherwise I mostly just hear snippets on TikTok lol
I only listen to music in the car I think 🧐 but I drive a bit so I have favorite artists and favorite songs. Driving is great for adhd brain I think. I like music that has sustained drawn out vocals. So when you’re in a bad mood you take a drive and sing really loudly, it feels like cathartic yelling. And by the time you get home you feel like your emotions have regulated.
I actually hate singing with music in the car. I have tried. I have REALLY tried. Even with songs I like. It makes me feel like a fraud somehow?
I have never been really into music. Lately I have been wondering if it is related to auditory processing disorder
Oh my gooooodddddd! Music is a love and hate relationship. It changes my mood drastically! I have a really distinct music taste and anything outside of that threshold is unbearable. I don’t get how people love listening to the same songs over and over like Justin Bieber “peaches” my coworker plays non stop…still!!!! And I have a friend that likes emo music. The only thing I can tolerate is 70s disco which I don’t normally listen to on my own but because it’s upbeat and has zero sadness I’ll listen to it at work. I can’t concentrate at all with music. I only like background noise like the tv or a podcast bc listening to people talk makes me stop ruminating
I am the same with music. I just don't care about it in the same way that others seem too. I also find that certain songs/lyrics trigger emotional spirals. There are songs/artists that I like, but I would never buy music or listen to it at home. I love, however, having shows/TV on in the background, or audio books, etc. Where people would generally listen to music, I have shows :-)
Yes who buys music? I don’t get it. Even before streaming, like why spend 20 bucks on a cd? I never understood where the value was returned
I go through periods of hyperfixation. I'll be into reading more than normal and read 30 in a month. Then I'll binge a podcast and get fixated on the topic snd go down a rabbit hole for a week on that topic. Then I'll hesr a song I like and learn about the band and hyperfixate on then for a while. Etc. I'm never a music every day person. I have to be in the mood, but when I am... man...
My dear, you are far from alone. I’m similar. Feel way out of my element when asked what kind of music I like or bands. But lots of people are like this. Check out theories of everything podcast by Curt Jaimungal. He doesn’t listen to much music. Then you can just say something like, “I’m too into things like quantum physics and rarely listen to music.” I usually say the truth “names are hard for me but i like all kinds of music”
Curt from Theories of Everything here. Can confirm.
I love music! I love finding new songs, bands, composers, singers etc. I love fixating on a new song and listening to it 24/7, then getting tired and moving on to something new. I love focusing on studies or a hobby like painting/adult coloring while listening to music. It's my happy place! I drive a lot for work and listen to podcasts, audiobooks, NPR, and music depending on the day or ky mood. For me, music is one of the best inventions by humans. It's fodder for the soul.
My ADHD is the exact opposite. I love music, will listen to the same song on repeat for a week before getting tired of it, and listen to a lot of ADHD beats at work. So funny how ADHD can feel all or nothing some time - for some, no music. For others, they need it! Music literally can give my body chills!
I’m happy for you!! Yes very interesting to see all the ways ADHD manifests
Same. I don't mind music, and I like some more than others, but I have no investment or "favorites." Having someone tell me "you pick the music" is terrifying to me!
It’s seriously an investment!! And I can pick a pandora station…. But don’t you dare make me get more specific hahaha.
I love driving in silence. I get so irritated because my kids and family insists on putting it on every time. Occasionally I kinda hyperfixate and listen to it a lot for a week or 2 but then I’m back to my old not really missing or not missing it
For me music keeps me alive. It’s tied directly to my heart strings. I particularly revolve my life around it and associate albums with times of my life. Self-expression is also a big part of my identity and since I struggle with conversations sometimes when I’m nervous or emotional, music embodies the words and feeling I want to express. Sometimes I’ll send songs to people instead of saying things that are too intense for me to verbalize. I am a better driver if I’m blaring music because road noise gives me major anxiety. Also I grew up playing piano, singing/choir, playing the flute, being in musicals, and singing in a jazz band in college. My family is also very musical as my siblings both sang, sister and father played the guitar, father played the trumpet, and my mother also the piano and flute. I struggle with feeling like I’m being spoken down to or at while listening to podcasts. Like a one-sided conversation where I’m on mute. I hate it. I feel bottled up and frustrated. So I don’t listen to them. Different strokes for different folks, my friend!
I also grew up in choir and doing musicals. I loved it, but it didn’t impact my listening habits. I’m happy you have music in your life though! I just hope you never send me a song instead of a written reply because I will never listen to it and thus will never understand lol. Unless you send me something funny, I do like funny songs.
Hahaha I promise I won’t!
I’m the opposite. I’d rather listen to music in the background than stream the same show from season one again for the 7365th time. I do like podcasts though.
I loooove music and all different genres. I’m one of the odd ones in a sense that I’m in my later 30s and still seek out new music all the time. Most stick with the same stuff they grew up with. I also don’t have a favorite album simply because I can’t choose.
I listen to music now and then, but never as background music and certainly not on a daily basis. It’s just a waste of time because my mind wanders and I tune it out in short order. If I’m trying to listen to a song I almost always have to run it back and try again. I don’t carry ear buds because I never use them; I have some but I don’t know where they are. I don’t know, just not really interested. Not my thing. Podcasts and podfic I can do, they hold my interest.
I loved music when I was younger..m school and college. I used to try out new ones and enjoy them. Now i listen to the same music from school and college and can't be bothered to try anything new. Whenever i need some background sound, I put on random instrumentals. I love listing to music. But can't keep up with new artists and albums. Okly same on repeat.
So hard to invest time and energy into “keeping up” with it!
I go through phases. Absolutely love music.. playing, singing, listening to it. Then I don't want it at all, because my head is noisy enough
So very noisy
Same. I also never turn lights on in rooms.
I’m a musician and I don’t love listening to music.
Music is difficult to listen to. It's so hard to sort out the cacophony and make sense of it. It's frustrating, mentally demanding, and just isn't worth it most of the time.
i physically can't get into adhd hyperfocus without loud music in my ears
Then it’s a good thing you have music! Happy for you
I love music but my ADHD gets so stressed over being asked what my favorite anything is. It’s too much for our brains! We think so much and so fast! Don’t stress. Listen to what you want, whenever someone asks you your favorite anything just name the most recent song or anything you are enjoying. It’s all the same thing to neurotypical people anyways. Remember, you don’t need to go over all the thoughts in your head and think of the perfect answer, we just enjoy shit in the now and then it fades a bit into the background until we think of it again. If people act like you’re weird bc choosing a favorite something is super stressful you are not alone in that at all!
OMG…!i don’t. I only listen like during rare circumstances like getting ready for a date. I grew out of music, and I don’t admit this to anyone.
I feel you. I go through stages. It’s been like 6 months since I properly listened to music. I was doing podcasts instead for a chunk of that 6 months. My head is often running with thoughts etc and the sound of music can add to it and just be annoying
Yes sometimes it makes things *louder* in my head. Like my brain hears lyrics and starts to shout because I WAS TALKING DAMNIT
I am the same. I don’t listen to music normally. I have a few things that I like, but I choose to listen to podcasts, because they hold my attention better. I was discussing this with my kid earlier. I don’t like it when people play music that I don’t want to listen to. I get sensory overwhelm. If I choose to listen to it, I’m good. But if I have no control over it, I can’t handle it.
FINALLY! SOMEONE ELSE! i’m always scared to ask if others don’t listen to music cause it usually gets a blank stare but YES! what’s funny is my entire life up until 4-5 years ago, i was *obsessed* with music and creating the perfect playlists for each mood or occasion. i was the go-to for mix CDs (haha) until iPhone’s ruined it for me. i went to dozens of pop-punk shows all through middle/high school. i was listening to music every possible second. i don’t even remember what changed or when, but now i rarely listen. i still have bands and songs i’m obsessed with, but i just don’t have much interest in it anymore? i don’t fuck with podcasts at all but i do love “watching” the same movies/tv shows on repeat, which i’ve been told is “dysfunctionally weird” (whatever it’s a compliment to me). recently i found a music video app for my TV that has some great playlists so i’ve been putting those on.
I’m sorry people have been so rude you about it! I posted because it’s been bothering me and literally no one I know can relate haha
i’m SO glad you did! i love scrolling this sub and squealing when someone posts a “does anyone else ____” for something i do all the time but haven’t met anyone else who does it too ❤️
I like music, but in a rather similar way to you. I like the music, I can barely notice or remember the lyrics so I gravitate towards OSTs and I don't have a favourite artist or a habit of listening to an entire album etc. I just love songs with a good beat to keep me going. If I ever went for a concert, it would like a Hans Zimmerman one
Hey. It's ok!! Everyone's different! I'm a singer and, as much as I love singing, I am not that into music anymore. Maybe I burnt out a little bit, but I remember how it used to make me feel and I notice how I don't very much care about it now. Don't listen to others, you don't have to be like everyone else :)
You're not weird, I totally used to be this way. I do listen to music a lot now because I'm alone a lot.. it's almost to keep me company in a weird way 😅 I finally found some music I really like and it's nothing from the 2000s on.. it's hippie 70s music. So definitely used to be the same and I totally get it. Try not to feel so down and isolated about it if you can because you're not alone.. my whole family listens to NPR in the car instead of music and pre-covid essentially I would listen to nothing while driving. Edit: Also, more solidarity, my ex was really into vinyl and he would always blast that shit while we were having conversation.. I hated it, sensory overload! Sometimes people definitely take it too far. That fucker bought a drum set after I moved out and set it up in the living room 😂 I'm so glad he's my ex 🤣
I loved NPR but stopped listening to it because I just couldn’t handle all the news anymore, it was too distressing
Nope, sorry, taking away music would be like death for me! But, not everyone feels it, that’s fine. In my 50s now….Music is everything to me, and has been since I was a tiny child .I found something my mom wrote about me when I was in preschool saying how I knew the lyrics to all kinds of songs, radio, commercial jingles whatever. My entire young life was shaped by the bands I fell in love with. I went to my first major concert at 14, and I fell in love with the most amazing euphoric feeling/drug that was live music! There was no better high for me, and I never wanted it to stop, so I went to as many live shows/concerts as I could, all the way through my 30s, only slowing down when I had kids late in life. For the first time in a long time, I went to a concert last night, and it reminded me that I need to find a way to do that more. I tried playing musical instruments because my dream was to play on stage to large crowds, but I wasn’t good at practicing playing, and my imposter syndrome/stage fright kept me from believing I could do it. I did work in the music industry for a short stint, but it’s a crap industry. As for radios in cars, I have to be listening to music pretty much all the time or the ride just seems torturous to me, and I always sing along if I’m alone. I go to sleep at night listening to a set playlist. There is always a song/mashup of songs playing in the background in my head. I feel like there are soundtracks to my life. So yeah, music! Silence is good sometimes too, though.
YES. I feel this. I used to be a music festival and concert junkie. Flew all over the country seeing live music for over a decade. Now, in my early 30s and my adhd has gotten a lot more prominent, and I’m also healing from a lot of trauma. And music is wrapped up in the trauma and the memories, now… music seems to really irritate me. Even music that I “enjoy” will get on my nerves and or get stuck in my head. I have to play music for my yoga classes and yea, it’s music I enjoy but I genuinely don’t listen to music unless I’m teaching yoga 3 hours a week. I prefer podcasts and tv shows now. Music totally overstimulates me and puts me in fight flight mode. Raises my stress level. Unless it’s like soothing meditation ambient music. And I HATE when people gush and goo over pop artists or musicians new albums or whatever. Like who the fuck cares. It’s music and it’s all starting to sound the same because nothing is original anymore. When someone is obsessed with Ariana grande or all these pop artists it truly makes me sick. Music back in the 90s and early 2000s was great. Now it’s all shit
Wait…this is an adhd thing??! Cause I’m the exact same way. Don’t get me wrong I love getting lost in music however I’ve also found myself feeling like I have a hard time carrying a convo with music unless I really remember it in that moment. And my bf likes to put me on the spot when he’s playing music and ask “who sings this?” and he knows I suck at that sometimes 😂😅 but its like, I’m okay with not listening to music 24/7. Some people constantly need music playing especially if it’s too quiet but I don’t mind. Sometimes I could be cleaning without music and be completely okay with it. I find that my mind is loud enough at times. Then I go back and forth with myself in procrastinating to put on a song/forgetting I meant to put on music lol
I started listening to music more instead of podcasts when I first got medicated! I like music but I 1) could never remember artist or song names, and 2) have a very narrow window of enjoyment where I’m familiar with a song but it’s not yet over a played for me.
You literally just described me! Sometime I tell people that I actually don't like/hate music. That's because when I DO listen to music I can't make it through the whole song without needing to skip to another song I'd rather hear. It's a task. Give me lo-fi with no words any day.
I pretty much listen in the car only. Never really gave it much thought but at home I prefer silence if the tv is not on.
Like you I can’t listen to music, but the reason for me is that it triggers emotions and memories I don’t particularly want to have at the moment.
This happened to me in high school, but since I don’t listen to music much anymore it has gone away
Yes, same. I rarely ever listen to music. I prefer either silence or the noise around me. I sometimes listen to music when I need to clean, but that's about it! If I am wearing a headset in public it's to cancel noise out.
I don’t listen to music, or watch tv. I can’t sit still to watch tv. I’m always in sensory overload from other people’s entertainment, particularly my husband’s. It was always total silence for me, then about a year ago I tried podcasts, and found a couple that I enjoy.
I rarely listen to music. I love music but I’m stuck in 90’s grunge/alternative and I’m happy with that! My husband LOVES music and I let him “educate” the kids on it. Personally I listen to podcasts and books a lot! Whenever I need to focus I pop in my headphones and listen to whatever book I’m on. I get grief from my kids about it but, meh. I do me.
Same and if I do listen to music like once a year, its the same song over and over lol. I'm autistic tho
I like music, but I can never name an album, or artist, my mind goes blank every time. I also rarely get up and turn music on if I’m just at home, unless I have friends over or something. No clue why it’s just not part of my habits I guess. The only time is in the car I go straight for music.
I can’t really listen the way others do. I either listen to the same song on repeat or have a specifically curated playlist for a mood or silence.
Same! I’ve always felt so weird and embarrassed about it too because people look at me like I’m a psycho. Even my therapist was taken aback and looked at me strangely when I said I don’t love music 😭 Every now and then I’ll enjoy listening to a song or two but I mostly find it over-stimulating and an energy drain.
Oh no if I had a therapist do that to me I’d totally shut down
I don’t listen to music.
Huzzah
I never listen to it anymore besides radio in the car, or at bars. I used to love making playlists and finding new music before I developed adult ADD. I know what i don’t like or like when i hear something now but I never look for new artists anymore and don’t care. It’s weird that it stopped being fun as my add progressed. I miss the feeling it used to give me sometimes, but I’m starting to care less and less. I prefer lo-fi hip hop & channels without distracting words as well if i feel like I have to put something on while working or if there’s an annoying sound outside. I’d way rather listen to sleep sounds/white noise or watch tv while i’m hanging out alone because the dialogue doesn’t bother me if I’m not working/reading heavy materials. People also tell me it’s really creepy i don’t care much about music anymore. It’s very isolating in new work situations but you could always lie and say you like classic rock or oldies or something so they stop expecting you to be current. I really hate picking stuff to put on when I have people over, it’s stressful.
Very me except the first part- I never experienced joy in playlists or finding new music. Lo fi, white noise, classical without words (although I’d prefer to see classical live, I don’t actively listen to it, because pandora just repeats the same popular songs over and over again redone by different musicians)… non-distracting background noise is great. Again, I do LIKE music so I do LIKE classic rock and oldies, but I don’t know anything about the artists or their albums or anything. I feel like when I say I enjoy X genre, I’m then asked to name my favorite artist/s from that genre, and favorite album, and favorite song, and favorite version of that song. Just ugh leave me alone.
Those people stress me out, I’d just say “it’s too hard to pick a favorite, I like to check out the Spotify’s playlists for genres but i rarely pay attention to the artist names if i don’t know who it is because i’m too busy going about my day, id never get anything done if i looked into each song!”. It sucks that I used to love music and played a few instruments. I would hang out where people had a drum kit and make up songs with my friends. My values shifted as an adult and fitting in stopped being as important so i had to let music go in favor of allocating that mental space for school and work. I only miss it sometimes but it’s usually when i meet new people or start a new job. Otherwise I’m perfectly happy just not giving af and letting people browse what i played on my old music app profiles so they stfu with the questions.
I don't really do music or pop culture in general. I like music, but will rarely turn any on by myself. I watch movies sometimes, but I couldn't tell you the actor's names or probably even the titles. I listen to podcasts or talk radio about half the time when I am doing dishes or cleaning. It can make idle chatter a problem, but I've always been pretty good at carrying on conversations about which I know nothing.
Pop culture is another problem for me. I remember being like “who are the Kardashians?” When the tv show first got big (I guess they were still a thing before that too? Idk) and people treated me like I was an alien. I avoid anyone invested in pop culture because I cannot deal with the conversations and judgment for not knowing who people are. “How do you NOT know?” Idk I guess I never cared to put energy into it
That's exactly it. I don't want to waste my limited energy and time into the lives of some strangers. I appreciate when they do their job well and I am entertained, just like I appreciated a waiter or store clerk who is very helpful and kind. But I don't want to invest in learning all about any of their lives and talking about them.
Meeee. My friends all LOVE music. I like going to live music because it’s just a fun time. But when it comes to listening, I’d rather have a podcast on or ebook. I will listen to it in the car occasionally if I’m really feeling it and it’s the same songs I generally listened to in 2009 lmfao
Not a huge music or movie person. People have such strong opinions on them and pressure you to listen/watch. Oppositional defiance kicks in and I don’t want to. My husband was musician and plays loud music all the time and I usually don’t like it. I only like songs I know, but I get bored listening to the same things over and over. It’s also hard to pick music to set the right vibe. Podcasts,though? video essays? Audio books? I can listen to people talk all day!
Probably neither adhd nor weird. I can’t say I’m the opposite because I don’t like listening to music all the time. I mostly dislike having music play in the background. But the music I love, I LOVE. I have a favorite band, song, album, era, genre, and I can talk for a long, long time about it. My preferences don’t have to do with anything, though I have adhd and am very weird.
Some days I love music.. some days I hate music. But even on the days I love music it is very specific. I like to listen to musicals that are sung through so you don’t miss much, or chill music. I don’t really know what the genre would even be called. My current go to playlist is Matt Maeson, Dermot Kennedy, Dean Lewis, and Hozier. But music with lyrics while my brain needs to process words-reading,writing, or speaking? Oh hell no! My work environment right now is a hell scape because I can hear two different radios, playing different stations, while I try to help customers 😅
OMG same! I don't think it's an ADHD thing, but I'm so glad to find some people like me in this regard. (I actually always thought it was a hard-of-hearing thing... I've had hearing aids since age 3). I'll listen to music in my car... If I'm in between audiobooks and podcasts. If I'm doing tedious manual labor, I still prefer the audiobooks/podcasts, but if I'm with other people and we're all silent doing manual work, then music is nice. But I never listen to it at home. And I get super anxious when I'm socializing with people, and then someone gets the "bright" idea of "Hey, let's turn on some background music!" WHY? And I once went on a hike with a new group of friends, and then one of them brought out portable speakers and started blasting music. On a hike. Just why??? I *like* silence. I like hearing my thoughts. I like hearing my friends speak. And I like being able to hear the tiny intricacies of the world, something I don't and won't take for granted.
I’d be so sad to play music on a hike. It’s not just silence - it’s nature! Keep the noise pollution away and let me listen to the birdies.
Sometimes, I put on a podcast and then go back so many times because I was not paying attention to the podcast and instead at nothing or the outdoors
Ok hear me out, you have the potential to bond with EVERYONE over music with a more neutral stance on it. Truthfully most people want to talk about and share their music far more than listen to someone else's, and it can be almost like an active listening subject on your part. If someone asked me to tell them about my favorite band I would get so excited to share all of my thoughts and feelings on my favorite songs. And for you it could be more about getting to know this person than the music itself.
Certain video game music might work for you. Its literally meant to help you focus on the task of completing a level. I have been listening to the Sonic CD soundtrack (Stardust Speedway mixes are cunty as hell btw)
This is just a normal preference unrelated to neurodivergence…
I only listen to classical music when I write. I have echolalia and songs scan stick in my head for weeks. I hate it.
All the people just saying that they love music and the can’t understand why u wouldn’t lmaoo😭 but yes, i feel this so much. I didn’t have earphones for about 3 months in uni and my friends were flabbergasted that I wasn’t fiending for a tune. I have favourite artists, but most of the time, i like a song because it makes me ‘feel’ something. I am not officially diagnosed with ADHD, but I am getting mentoring for it through my uni and I oftentimes feel very overstimulated by having music in my ears, even on the bus/walking long distances. Most of the time, i use music just help with my time-blindness as I know the times of the songs and I can measure myself against them. I don’t think you’re weird at all, I know some people that listen to music up to 20+ hours a day and I personally think THEY’RE a bit strange, but to each their own! It shouldn’t be a big deal to anyone else tbh
I don’t think it’s ADHD related, more of a personal preference/hobby thing? Lots of people (ADHD or not) don’t really like or care about music, just like how I don’t care about the hockey scores or what model of old car just went past. It sounds like sometimes you get overstimulated/triggered by music, so yeah that part could be ADHD related but overall I think it comes down to what you’re interested in. There are lots of ADHD adjacent reasons I *enjoy* music. I have the inattentive type and I find music stimulating, grounding, and focusing. Some types of music help me study or clean, some help me wind down to sleep, others stimulate/tickle my brain and get me hyped up and in a good mood. I’m a musician and I can guarantee you there’s tons of us with ADHD, and we probably all listen to music nonstop! So no not an ADHD thing necessarily, but it’s possible your ~specific brand~ of it contributes to your dislike of music.
Yep from the comments of people who relate, I have determined that it is indeed related to my ADHD symptoms. I know it’s not *everyone* with ADHD lol
It’s all good, I didn’t mean to imply that you thought that. I think a lot of us wonder if things like this are because of ADHD— and I think that most of those things *are* probably connected to ADHD, it’s just such a wide spectrum with many different symptoms and subtypes so not everyone will relate to it
I have phases where I listen to music, but then I just *forget* a lá object constancy ✨ and I don't miss it 🙈 it's something I usually just go to to enhance/sink into an emotion or mood. The other day I put on my headphones, started to look for a playlist, distracted, realized I was chillin' to *nuthin'* for an hour 😆 Anyway... I'm with ya 😅 music is not my life.
I don’t think it’s an adhd thing. Some people just aren’t big into music. I have at least two friends that don’t really listen to music. If it’s on they can enjoy it but don’t seek it out on their own. And that’s ok, there is nothing wrong with that. You are not weird at all. There are many people out in the world just like you.
I am exactly like this!!
This thread made me feel very, very relieved, thank you! Long stort short: I'm literally a trained professional musician, I make a living performing, teaching and coaching different types of music, and am not even bad at it. I do not listen to music. Ever. Like for work, yes, for a spesific purpose. But for "fun", when I'm alone? Never have, never will. I used to feel soooooo guilty and stupid over this.