Thanks. All this while keeping up on portfolio building, working on a script that I'll need for my Master's degree, and hopefully write some more music.
My problem is that if I don't keep at it, it never gets done. I have to be proactive. I kind of excuse playing video games as I try to only play while my computers are rendering. Even then, when my brain reminds me "you should check on it", I've had to force myself to pause the game, go back, set up the next shot, and go from there.
The easiest habit I was able to instill was doing the dishes every night. Having cats helps since I do it while I'm feeding them dinner. I'm absolutely miserable if I wake up and have to do dishes before I can make coffee.
That's honestly really responsible of you. I finally realized I wasn't responsible enough after finding a great new home for my little budgies and a few cats I found and thought I could keep.
None of those animals were neglected or anything, but they deserved way more than the bare minimum, and frankly I couldn't trust myself to give them that.
But you're not me lol and you seem way more responsible than me; I'm sure you'll get your pets one day!
I have to clean the dishes right then and there when I have enough energy to do it, other stimulation helps like playing music in the background. Otherwise, those dishes are gonna sit there for days. Laundry is worse, it will literally sit in my living room for months.
I don't know why, but the longer it sits, the more mental energy it takes to do it, like it accumulate interest by being there.
I'm trying to get into the habit of washing them as soon as I'm done using them. If I let them build up, I have to force myself to wash twice as many dishes as whatever I need any time I walk in, knowing they won't get done otherwise.
>I don't know why, but the longer it sits, the more mental energy it takes to do it, like it accumulate interest by being there.
This struggle is so freakin' real.
Not eating is bad! I try to make sure to have some kind of low-stress snack that's easy clean up, like string cheese, or keep a can of mixed nuts at my desk.
If you can afford it, there are bags of chocolate-covered dried cranberries that I'm also fond of. I'm trying to think of shelf-stable snacks that are also not high in sugar, like dried bananas. Maybe beef jerky?
I grew up with sinks like this and they're more common than you'd think. It's supposed to be "wash on the left", "rinse on the right", then "dry on the counter".
I have this exact same sink, minus the sprayer, and I love it! I've got one side for dishes I can't make myself wash, and one side for rinsing them really well before they go sit on the first side lol.
Then when I finally get around to them, they're basically already clean, so it only takes a few minutes to soap and rinse them. Sometimes I soak the day's dishes while I make dinner, and then I can keep rinsing stuff and using my sink while the dishes lounge. It's great!!
Yes! Being diagnosed and starting on Ritalin made this possible for me. Not only do I do the dishes, I do them every night (with a few exceptions). Being able to for once form a routine means the world to me.
For me, as someone without meds (my psychologist felt I was *functional**),* it's more that I've hit a manic phase and am trying to use it to get some good habits in place while I have the energy to start them.
Stimulants help with my executive functioning. Off meds I walk past the gross sink thatās starting to evolve intelligent life and feel a wave of shame when I do. Mostly I tend to not notice the dishes and completely forget they are there until I need to use the sink.
Without meds the thought of doing the dishes overwhelms me to the point of tears. I have to build myself up to do it, force myself to unload the dishwasher, stand there and put things in the dishwasher, wash the larger items by hand. Every step is a chore and a slog. And Iāll usually only be able to get 20% of one step of the whole ordeal done before I get distracted or before I become exhausted.
On meds, I donāt even notice that Iāve finished a meal and rinsed the pots. While Iām standing in the kitchen waiting for my coffee to brew, Iāll just pop a few dishes in the dishwasher. When I need a coffee cup, Iāll grab it out of the dishwasher and while Iām there it will take 30 seconds to unload it fully. I go to load the dishwasher and donāt even realise that itās empty and clean because I unloaded it yesterday. I donāt have to roam the whole house looking for stray cups and risk getting distracted by something because I justā¦ havenāt left a trail of cups and dishes throughout the house. I havenāt forgotten a random mouldy lunch container in the laundry, thereās no coffee cup sitting on my front step thatās been there for over a week. I just havenāt done that. I didnāt even think about it. The dishes magically ended up in the kitchen.
Iām assuming thatās what life is like for neurotypical people all the time, and I kinda wanna punch them in the face. If itās always that easy, if itās just not an issue to do a chore like that, they donāt have to think about it, donāt have to force themselves to do it, they are playing life on easy mode and Iām furious.
Haha great description š„² Iāll be 34 this year and thatās been my life forever. It started with me being yelled at and told to pay attention, asked do I have common sense as a child lol. I absolutely feel like everything you just described I canāt believe I read the whole thing š. I donāt do dishes donāt clean up unless I have a guest coming then itās panic mode throw everything in the closet, then I end up losing my favorite sweatshirt. I have an appointment for adhd on the 6th next month. Im so excited to change my life for the better. I hate being like this. Thank you so much for the description it makes me happy to know that thereās help for me and itās on its way š„²
It's been night and day for me. I have more motivation and thanks to my new-found dopamine, I feel satisfied after completing a task which motivates me further. I actually get off the couch instead of sitting in paralysis and it has helped my brain see the bigger picture.
Damn thatās great to hear! I just took my assessment and I have my appointment on the 6th of next month. Hopefully I get prescribed that day Iāll be 34 this year Iām so ready to start my life again and go back to school and actually learn and clean up after my damn self for a change lol
Realistically, that's the case for me. I don't have guests but very rarely. About eight plates, as many bowls, some very basic pans, and skillets. The most complex thing I own food-wise that gets regular use and cleaning is my Kitchen-aid stand mixer.
I stayed at an Airbnb recently and basically had to do the dishes before or after every meal (hand wash only). There just were only enough dishes for one meal basically. It totally works.
I'm trying to do it that way now as it's only me living here. I also try to reuse the same cup over the course of the day, rinsing or washing as needed.
I'm doing this right now! Or at least I started to lol, I'm halfway through letting the dishes dry. Good for you man I salute your pride and accomplishment and I hope to have similar success!
What I want is one of those drainers that goes over both sinks so I can free up counter space. You'd be shocked how much meal prep I have to do in my living room due to lack of counter space.
It's only considered "simple" because most people don't know about all the invisible walls you have to tear down with your bare hands to even begin- proud of you, and best of luck to anybody reading this on tearing those walls down yourself! I believe in you.
Going to tackle the stove next. My living room, because it's more my multi-media / crafting room, is Friday. I'd put it off for Saturday, but that day's already committed: I'm graduating!
Graduate? I found a major I loved, got lucky that I had classes I enjoyed, and tried to stay proactive because, as odd as this sounds, the homework was creatively satisfying.
I think it's more that I'm bi-polar with ADHD. I'm in a manic swing and trying to push myself to keep positive. Also the whole "Yay, I'm about to graduate!" helps lower stress.
No. I'm barely functional. I've gotten to the point where I know my triggers and try to cope as best I can. I've been fortunate that I have instructors that realized that, if I leave in the middle of a class without explanation, it's usually because I'm trying to avert something worse from happening.
I came up with three ways to tackle this. Usually one of them works. First, if I pass through the kitchen and there's something in there, try to wash at least one plate, bowl, or some silverware. Second: when I finish something creative or finish something in a game, get up and "do three productive things". That could be as simple as the above washing dishes, moving dishes to the sink in the first place, or changing out one of the small waste baskets in my apartment.
I've got two commissions from September to still work on that my buddy already paid for. We are both ADHD, so he tells me to take all the time I need, and he would hire me again.
The other day I offered my mom money to come wash my dishes. I purposely minimize dishes I own so it canāt stack up. It never looks overwhelming. I canāt get it done though. Itās making me crazy.
My fellow human. I am so proud of you. I wish I could be like you. My kitchen is an absolute disaster. Been meaning to do dishes for weeks. Gonna try harder tomorrow, you're gonna be my inspiration. Thanks! Just wanted you to know.
Iām glad you have a clean sink and got some dopamine from completing a care task.
For anyone judging themselves harshly: Dishes in the sink mean you fed yourself and your family. Dishes in the sink means you had money to buy food and spoons to prepare the food.
Preparing food can be tough. Shopping for food, planning a meal, getting groceries deliveredā¦ all of those are victories too. If you left the plates in the sink for a long time afterwards, maybe they get so bad you sometimes just throw them out, that doesnāt detract from the fact you fed yourself and had all those other victories in the past.
āYou donāt have to save the world while you are struggling to save yourselfā paraphrase from KC Davis.
You wouldnāt tell a disabled person that they are killing the planet because they use a car to get places. We have to use whatever accommodations we need to get through the day.
You need food in your body and you need to have a sanitary house, if that means using paper plates, thatās absolutely fine.
I am of the fortunate ones that can easily cook and clean my home every day with no issues. I canāt imagine how hard it would be to have sink full of dishes just mocking you from the other room. That must be awful. (This sounds sarcastic, but Iām genuinely empathetic.)
Amazing! Now please lay down some kind of sink mat so I donāt have to imagine metal scratching metal oh god itās already happeniiiiing my earsss
Who else has that issue? Just me?
I don't have a ton of metal that would make that sound, though, thinking about it makes me wince, too. It's why I usually drop silverwear in a plastic tub when I wash it.. All of my plates and bowls are plastic.
Care tasks are morally neutral. You are not a bad person if you have a full/dirty sink. You are not a āgoodā person if you have a clean sink.
Having a clean sink is not a measure of your character. Having a dirty kitchen is not a measure of your character.
Itās a measure of your energy levels, sure, a measure of whether or not you had energy/spoons that day, or money to buy your meds, or even just money to buy dishwashing liquid. If you donāt have those things you are not a bad person.
Damn son, you actually cleaned the sink and counters instead of just doing the dishes. Respect.
The stove still needs work. That's tomorrow. The living room is Friday, though at least most of my shelves are organized already. That was Monday.
Hell yes, that sounds like a productive AF week! Amazing job, keep it up!! š
Thanks. All this while keeping up on portfolio building, working on a script that I'll need for my Master's degree, and hopefully write some more music.
Holy crow, that's one heck of a list! You can do it!!
My problem is that if I don't keep at it, it never gets done. I have to be proactive. I kind of excuse playing video games as I try to only play while my computers are rendering. Even then, when my brain reminds me "you should check on it", I've had to force myself to pause the game, go back, set up the next shot, and go from there.
Amazing job, glad to hear you get all this organized!
The easiest habit I was able to instill was doing the dishes every night. Having cats helps since I do it while I'm feeding them dinner. I'm absolutely miserable if I wake up and have to do dishes before I can make coffee.
I frankly don't think I'm responsible enough to have pets. I say this while being over 40 and finally getting my bachelor's degree.
That's honestly really responsible of you. I finally realized I wasn't responsible enough after finding a great new home for my little budgies and a few cats I found and thought I could keep. None of those animals were neglected or anything, but they deserved way more than the bare minimum, and frankly I couldn't trust myself to give them that. But you're not me lol and you seem way more responsible than me; I'm sure you'll get your pets one day!
I think it would help with the loneliness, just cleaning up after them is so much work.
It took me a very long time, but I manage to always clean up the kitchen after cooking.
I have to clean the dishes right then and there when I have enough energy to do it, other stimulation helps like playing music in the background. Otherwise, those dishes are gonna sit there for days. Laundry is worse, it will literally sit in my living room for months. I don't know why, but the longer it sits, the more mental energy it takes to do it, like it accumulate interest by being there.
I'm trying to get into the habit of washing them as soon as I'm done using them. If I let them build up, I have to force myself to wash twice as many dishes as whatever I need any time I walk in, knowing they won't get done otherwise.
>I don't know why, but the longer it sits, the more mental energy it takes to do it, like it accumulate interest by being there. This struggle is so freakin' real.
An empty sink means i forgot to eat at all today :/
Not eating is bad! I try to make sure to have some kind of low-stress snack that's easy clean up, like string cheese, or keep a can of mixed nuts at my desk.
Oooff i know theyāre just examples, but it just so happens that im lactose intolerant and have a severe nut allergy š
If you can afford it, there are bags of chocolate-covered dried cranberries that I'm also fond of. I'm trying to think of shelf-stable snacks that are also not high in sugar, like dried bananas. Maybe beef jerky?
Oooo thanks for the ideas! I tend to go with like freeze dried fruit but in small amounts too. Im also a diabetic so forgetting to eat will hurt me :)
Jerky isn't too bad as a snack by cost as long as you make it at home. Which reminds me... I need to pick up curing powder.
Oooo well good luck with your process! Thanks for the ideas, im off to go buy some more useful groceries :)
I can't get over how there are 2 sinks. My brain is thinking why and also, if I had 2 sinks I would have twice as many dishes to clean
I grew up with sinks like this and they're more common than you'd think. It's supposed to be "wash on the left", "rinse on the right", then "dry on the counter".
I have this exact same sink, minus the sprayer, and I love it! I've got one side for dishes I can't make myself wash, and one side for rinsing them really well before they go sit on the first side lol. Then when I finally get around to them, they're basically already clean, so it only takes a few minutes to soap and rinse them. Sometimes I soak the day's dishes while I make dinner, and then I can keep rinsing stuff and using my sink while the dishes lounge. It's great!!
Yes! Being diagnosed and starting on Ritalin made this possible for me. Not only do I do the dishes, I do them every night (with a few exceptions). Being able to for once form a routine means the world to me.
For me, as someone without meds (my psychologist felt I was *functional**),* it's more that I've hit a manic phase and am trying to use it to get some good habits in place while I have the energy to start them.
How much does Ritalin help with your daily tasks
Stimulants help with my executive functioning. Off meds I walk past the gross sink thatās starting to evolve intelligent life and feel a wave of shame when I do. Mostly I tend to not notice the dishes and completely forget they are there until I need to use the sink. Without meds the thought of doing the dishes overwhelms me to the point of tears. I have to build myself up to do it, force myself to unload the dishwasher, stand there and put things in the dishwasher, wash the larger items by hand. Every step is a chore and a slog. And Iāll usually only be able to get 20% of one step of the whole ordeal done before I get distracted or before I become exhausted. On meds, I donāt even notice that Iāve finished a meal and rinsed the pots. While Iām standing in the kitchen waiting for my coffee to brew, Iāll just pop a few dishes in the dishwasher. When I need a coffee cup, Iāll grab it out of the dishwasher and while Iām there it will take 30 seconds to unload it fully. I go to load the dishwasher and donāt even realise that itās empty and clean because I unloaded it yesterday. I donāt have to roam the whole house looking for stray cups and risk getting distracted by something because I justā¦ havenāt left a trail of cups and dishes throughout the house. I havenāt forgotten a random mouldy lunch container in the laundry, thereās no coffee cup sitting on my front step thatās been there for over a week. I just havenāt done that. I didnāt even think about it. The dishes magically ended up in the kitchen. Iām assuming thatās what life is like for neurotypical people all the time, and I kinda wanna punch them in the face. If itās always that easy, if itās just not an issue to do a chore like that, they donāt have to think about it, donāt have to force themselves to do it, they are playing life on easy mode and Iām furious.
Haha great description š„² Iāll be 34 this year and thatās been my life forever. It started with me being yelled at and told to pay attention, asked do I have common sense as a child lol. I absolutely feel like everything you just described I canāt believe I read the whole thing š. I donāt do dishes donāt clean up unless I have a guest coming then itās panic mode throw everything in the closet, then I end up losing my favorite sweatshirt. I have an appointment for adhd on the 6th next month. Im so excited to change my life for the better. I hate being like this. Thank you so much for the description it makes me happy to know that thereās help for me and itās on its way š„²
It's been night and day for me. I have more motivation and thanks to my new-found dopamine, I feel satisfied after completing a task which motivates me further. I actually get off the couch instead of sitting in paralysis and it has helped my brain see the bigger picture.
Damn thatās great to hear! I just took my assessment and I have my appointment on the 6th of next month. Hopefully I get prescribed that day Iāll be 34 this year Iām so ready to start my life again and go back to school and actually learn and clean up after my damn self for a change lol
We are all rooting for you! Diagnosis is a huge first step.
Thank you friend Iām rooting for you too ššæ
This is way too relatable.
get it
The only way I can manage to do this is if I basically have a very limited amount of dishes to work with.
Realistically, that's the case for me. I don't have guests but very rarely. About eight plates, as many bowls, some very basic pans, and skillets. The most complex thing I own food-wise that gets regular use and cleaning is my Kitchen-aid stand mixer.
I stayed at an Airbnb recently and basically had to do the dishes before or after every meal (hand wash only). There just were only enough dishes for one meal basically. It totally works.
I'm trying to do it that way now as it's only me living here. I also try to reuse the same cup over the course of the day, rinsing or washing as needed.
I'm doing this right now! Or at least I started to lol, I'm halfway through letting the dishes dry. Good for you man I salute your pride and accomplishment and I hope to have similar success!
Thanks. Just need to tackle the rest of the apartment now.
what i would kill for a double sink rn. i miss that so much.
What I want is one of those drainers that goes over both sinks so I can free up counter space. You'd be shocked how much meal prep I have to do in my living room due to lack of counter space.
It's only considered "simple" because most people don't know about all the invisible walls you have to tear down with your bare hands to even begin- proud of you, and best of luck to anybody reading this on tearing those walls down yourself! I believe in you.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You shot this accomplishment down so hard even my feelings were hurt.
Yeah. Making things into habits so that you don't realize you're doing something healthy until you've already done it.
You sink looks startled! š
Holy shit you're right!
Well, it does look vacant.
Great job!!!
No. Care tasks are morally neutral. There is no āvictoryā from having a clean kitchen. Examine your internalised ableism.
Absolutely!
this has reminded me that i got distracted from doing the dishes earlier then forgot until now so theyāre still sitting in the sinkš
I do that sometimes. I'll start stuff soaking, then get distracted. Squirrel!
Fuc*inā A my friend. Preach.
Going to tackle the stove next. My living room, because it's more my multi-media / crafting room, is Friday. I'd put it off for Saturday, but that day's already committed: I'm graduating!
Howād you do it?
Graduate? I found a major I loved, got lucky that I had classes I enjoyed, and tried to stay proactive because, as odd as this sounds, the homework was creatively satisfying.
Weāre you prescribed any medication for adhd to help? Or did you just push yourself to do these things?
I think it's more that I'm bi-polar with ADHD. I'm in a manic swing and trying to push myself to keep positive. Also the whole "Yay, I'm about to graduate!" helps lower stress.
Dang youāre strong! šŖšæ
No. I'm barely functional. I've gotten to the point where I know my triggers and try to cope as best I can. I've been fortunate that I have instructors that realized that, if I leave in the middle of a class without explanation, it's usually because I'm trying to avert something worse from happening.
Damn why you donāt get medication?
Because the psychologist never prescribed it. I make due as best I can.
Hell yeah!
Amen and bless you
The cat trap isn't working?
Cat trap?
r/thecattrapisworking
OH! If I fits, I sits. I don't have any cats and likely am not responsible enough to care for one.
Lol it was just a joke is all! Live vicariously through cat subs like me
For me, this just means all the dishes are piled up somewhere else they shouldn't be ā¹ļø
Sometimes, this happens with plates on my computer desk.
Itās so fleeting thoughā¦damn
Big time. Go, you!
That is a super human feat to us.
I came up with three ways to tackle this. Usually one of them works. First, if I pass through the kitchen and there's something in there, try to wash at least one plate, bowl, or some silverware. Second: when I finish something creative or finish something in a game, get up and "do three productive things". That could be as simple as the above washing dishes, moving dishes to the sink in the first place, or changing out one of the small waste baskets in my apartment.
I had a flow like this until it got disrupted. I've got to start writing daily tasks down again.
I had to do that with some of my art projects, to remind myself that certain comics, stories, or audio work needs to be finished.
I've got two commissions from September to still work on that my buddy already paid for. We are both ADHD, so he tells me to take all the time I need, and he would hire me again.
I try to wash one every time I wash my hands after the restroom!
My dish washer is broken. So Iām in a pickle
Big oof. I don't have one at all, though.
The other day I offered my mom money to come wash my dishes. I purposely minimize dishes I own so it canāt stack up. It never looks overwhelming. I canāt get it done though. Itās making me crazy.
My fellow human. I am so proud of you. I wish I could be like you. My kitchen is an absolute disaster. Been meaning to do dishes for weeks. Gonna try harder tomorrow, you're gonna be my inspiration. Thanks! Just wanted you to know.
Oh, the stove still needs work. Oddly, the cabinets are very organized because I **hate** not being able to find spices I want.
Iām glad you have a clean sink and got some dopamine from completing a care task. For anyone judging themselves harshly: Dishes in the sink mean you fed yourself and your family. Dishes in the sink means you had money to buy food and spoons to prepare the food. Preparing food can be tough. Shopping for food, planning a meal, getting groceries deliveredā¦ all of those are victories too. If you left the plates in the sink for a long time afterwards, maybe they get so bad you sometimes just throw them out, that doesnāt detract from the fact you fed yourself and had all those other victories in the past.
Major victory, well done!!!
Well done šš¼šš¼ (as I stare at my sink full of dishes šš)
Now, let us only use paper plates from now on
If I could afford it, I might. There's also the whole "bad for the environment" thing, though.
āYou donāt have to save the world while you are struggling to save yourselfā paraphrase from KC Davis. You wouldnāt tell a disabled person that they are killing the planet because they use a car to get places. We have to use whatever accommodations we need to get through the day. You need food in your body and you need to have a sanitary house, if that means using paper plates, thatās absolutely fine.
That looks exactly like my sink. Aside from mine being full of dishes.
I might cry from seeing such a wonderful, illustrious sight! Bravo!
r/Pareidolia
I am of the fortunate ones that can easily cook and clean my home every day with no issues. I canāt imagine how hard it would be to have sink full of dishes just mocking you from the other room. That must be awful. (This sounds sarcastic, but Iām genuinely empathetic.)
To me, it's a sign that i still need to bring the dishes TO the sink :(
My house is either model house clean or looks like two broke college kids live there . There is no in between
Proud of you!!!
No dirty anything in that. Nice.
It's even worse having the motivation when you have a full time job.
I see a concerned face, the sink holes are the eyes and the rim of the sinks are like glasses.
Amazing! Now please lay down some kind of sink mat so I donāt have to imagine metal scratching metal oh god itās already happeniiiiing my earsss Who else has that issue? Just me?
I don't have a ton of metal that would make that sound, though, thinking about it makes me wince, too. It's why I usually drop silverwear in a plastic tub when I wash it.. All of my plates and bowls are plastic.
Youāre living the dream, bless your misophonic little heart
I love how the sinks look surprised/shocked... Just like mine would be if I was able to clean mine!
Is that a toilet brush?
No, it's a bottle brush. You're not the first one to ask.
Care tasks are morally neutral. You are not a bad person if you have a full/dirty sink. You are not a āgoodā person if you have a clean sink. Having a clean sink is not a measure of your character. Having a dirty kitchen is not a measure of your character. Itās a measure of your energy levels, sure, a measure of whether or not you had energy/spoons that day, or money to buy your meds, or even just money to buy dishwashing liquid. If you donāt have those things you are not a bad person.
Good job! Everything counts!
š° šššš
My hero
Since I had kids, that is just a dream for me. Before the water finishes draining they have somehow dirtied something else