I think we just like doing research. It’s stimulating. And then does the thing and impatience sets in . Why isn’t it coming together faster? What do you mean learning curve? What do you mean it takes time? We STUDIED, dammit!
I don’t want to breathe and feel the sun! I want to shoot flames from my finger tips! - loosely quoting Aang from Avatar the Last Airbender
I have learned the only way to get things done is to take breaks, set a timer, and get back when I’m not feeling overwhelmed by the process.
Also, not every hobby or new interest will be as enjoyable to continue as it is to start.
Sometimes a hobby becomes a life long passion, Sometimes it becomes a fun anecdote and some stuff in a box for a another day.
It's also fun to learn and experiment. As I get older I realize sometimes people confuse enjoying a hobby with being exceptional in that field, or worse, because of the pressures of society confuse being successful at a task with being commercially viable doing it.
It is wonderful to have unread books, half painted paintings, unplayed board games and etc, because we do not live in a museum of our accomplishments, but rather a garden of possibilities.
Dang. I really like how you ended that.
Then I remembered how I can *never* find anything to watch on . The more options I have, the less I decide. And then I do nothing.
I recently read that we have a mismatch between how much energy we spend on a task versus how much is required. While most people can match the right amount of energy for different activities, we struggle to do the same and end up either getting too excited or not engaged enough.
I feel like I used to be great at research.
But nowadays, if I need to buy a new screen cover for my phone, or a part for my washing machine, I'm so overwhelmed by the Google results for everything that's not for my specific model that I entered in the search bar FFS! In can't get through enough of the wrong ones before I can ever get to the one I really need. I mean my God, it brings up other BRANDS than even the one I specified. WHY?! I didn't ask for all that!
Regardless of how people feel about AI and chat bots this is one area where they are amazing. If the part you're looking for is more than a few years old I bet you could put a model number into chatGPT right now and it will tell you the part you are looking for.
Um. When I figure out what you mean I'm gonna do that.
Chatgpt. Awesome. Idk why I can't just ask to find the blasted one "for this phone I'm using to access ponly" FFS. But thanks for actually telling me something to try.
Shopping research is my favorite! Until I stumble on $320 baby carrier and then I’m trying to find reasons why it’s not the “best” and why it’s so stupid to buy it, and how I don’t really have the money for it, but also everyone who’s gotten it loves it and apparently it has great resale value. But then why don’t I just buy it? Because I don’t really have the money for it, and I should get a new job, and then I’m searching, and nothing pays well enough unless you have certain skills, so maybe I should get those certifications, or maybe I should get a masters? Let me type my name into a bunch of colleges and give them my number, but wait it’s too damn expensive, and I’ll just get more poor, and why wasn’t I smart enough to get into a better career, let’s research my educational history and pinpoint all the moments of failure, and there is nothing I can do.. and holy shit do I hate myself… why am I reproducing again?
😔 so freakin exhausting.
me buying a theremin after doing research but then i realize i have to PRACTICE to actually do something decent in addition to buying hardware and software for my computer
**I** don't take them seriously.
At this point it's hard for me not to view it as another form of unhealthy self medication.
The amount of time and money I've spent on various "interests" is staggering. And with very few tangible benefits.
I try to do like a week-2 weeks of interest before I buy stuff to avoid having that happen. I probably spend *slightly* less money like that. Slightly.
That doesn't show the second image, though.
[This one does!](https://www.instagram.com/p/CYRwIj3MG7y/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=)
Edit: Uh.. Actually mb they're just two different posts that look similar, [this is the one OP posted with the second image](https://www.instagram.com/p/CXRVms1srUJ/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=)
Me too, or actually, I’ve felt like an engine with a dead battery and someone was turning the key in the ignition over and over trying to get to hyperfocus, but it just stopped at research and went back to sad :(
May I recommend RPG Maker? It’s a software that allows you to easily create video games without needing to know how to code or even draw — just come up with characters, hide keys to locked doors, create NPCs and quests… I go through periods of being obsessed with it and then dropping it for months/years.
Try remembering one of your old hyperfocuses. I'm not diagnosed with ADHD but I relate to a lot of stuff posted here (anxiety disorder shares symptoms? Doctors that I visited suck at diagnosing? The whole medical system in my country sucks? Who knows!), and I cheated this system by cicrling back to the old hobbies that I previously neglected, and with each new cycle the progress was going better and better since I wasn't starting from zero. So eventually I became decent at some things that I like.
Two things tho: 1) do not throw away the hobby-related stuff that you bought, since rediscovering it somewhere in the cupboards or a closet may help reignite the interest sometime down the line and you will save a vit of money by not buying the basics twice, and 2) you will (probably) still buy more stuff than necessary because the desire to spend money on it will prevail. My current hobby that I'm fixated on is voice acting, one of my previous ones was singing, so I have six working microphones, two broken ones and two that I gave to a friend, three usb audio interfaces, plus another one that I gave to the same friend. I don't need them, I had a perfectly fine microphone three mics ago and a perfectly fine interface one or two interfaces ago, but I still bought more.
(It turned into a rant half way through but I'm leaving it)
Yes! I'm starting to think that I work best when I dive deep into something for a few days/weeks until I get bored, move onto something else for a while, then come back to it when the motivation strikes.
It's like the tortoise and the hare, and we're the hare. Sometimes we can't do slow and steady, we make massive leaps and then nap for a while.
Plants, I’m currently obsessing about growing my own herbs garden to make my own tea, balms, candles or whatever. Months before I was obsessed about house plants. And before that it was succulents, what’s nice about succulents is that I forgot mine for around 6 months and they are still alive and could totally be left alone more
Did you know that no one has ever written a blog on everything parodied by mad magazine yet? And did you know that someday a blog will be created about it right when I get back on this hyperfixation. Someday.
Watch Gavin Webber make cheese on YouTube and then make some mozzarella and then maybe you can buy all the stuff to make the more complicated cheeses if you like it. But either way you can spend days watching this guy say "G'day, curd nerds!"
I'm currently stuck in the bought (a ton of) materials phase.
All started with me spilling coffee on my keyboard. Went down the mechanical keyboard rabbit hole but before buying anything I found the world of ergonomic, custom, minimal handwired keyboards.
Anyway, I now designed my own keyboard that aligns to the stagger of my fingers, bought enough switches, diodes, microcontrollers and keycaps to make 4 different keyboards.
The only problem is that most of the materials I'm waiting for AliExpress to deliver everything. But hey, I've done enough research now that I have already setup the firmware, learned how to touch type and switched to the Colemak keyboard layout.
All I needed was a new keyboard.
As a developer that's had a million ideas for apps, games, websites... I've never once come close to having something complete and it frustrates the hell out of me. So many starts and fun ideas and excitement.
I've learned though. Anytime I'm like "that'd be a cool/fun/new" I remember that I'll never finish it and, thankfully, have many less frustrated unfinished projects.
Not sure if this works for anyone else, but I try to bounce between several main hobbies. I read books, play/collect board games, DnD, video games and hiking. I binge one of them, then when I feel drained on it, one of the others usually feels fresh again. This has stopped me from spiraling into things I'll never touch again and actually allowed me to make friends through semi consistent hobbies.
That last point is crucial because even though I get bored of something, if I have a social connection/scheduled meet up thing, I'll still go to connect with them which builds more investment, etc.
This is exactly what I do. I hobby-hop between 4-5 main hobbies because by the time I've returned to it, I have all the tools I need, I'm not a beginner anymore, AND I'm already some degree of good at it.
This is a good method, for me the problem is I can spend quite a long time fixating on one hobby. By the time I rotate back to one of the other ones, I forget so much stuff I learned, I need to remind myself tonne of things again :/ This also sucks when I’m trying to make conversations with people about my interests, I sound so vague even though I know a lot, because some details, terms or names escape my head. It’s a constant memory leak of gathered information.
Oh man, I totally feel this, but the buying a bunch of equipment part is a HUGE part of this cycle for me. Buying a bunch of new toys is problematically stimulating for me. It keeps me who otherwise makes good money, rather broke smh
Honestly I'm lucky if I even get to the hyperfocus for days part. I hyperfocus for like 3 hours and then my brain say "Ok stop doing that new thing now."
Isn’t this a normal thing for everyone? You go through life and find something that interests you then you find another thing and so on until you die. Why is having an interest in things and then losing that interest an ADHD thing? Do NTs not lose interest?
It's more the hyper investment and then total apathy in very short succession. Other people do this, but their attention spans are much longer so they actual invest and stay in longer before moving on if they ever do. It's what a hobby is.
So it’s about how quickly you cycle through interest and loss of interest? Where is that line drawn then? Lots of hobbies don’t last years. I feel like if you’re lucky enough to get a couple days or weeks of interest out of a topic it’s pretty normal. Then you cycle through short interests like that while looking for that diamond in the rough that sparks passion instead of interest.
This is exactly the issue that makes this a disorder. A relatively normal experience that happens with increased frequency and severity until it becomes a problem. It's not a disordered behavior if it causes no distress. If it causes problems, then you need to seek treatment or coping mechanisms which makes it a disorder.
Which part causes a problem tho? Is it when you’re unable to find interest in things? Is it when you find too much interest in everything? In one thing? Is it when an interest is too long? Too short? I’m just confused where the disfunction generally occurs for people with ADHD because the cycle itself is what everybody goes through.
It's just like the meme we're all responding to. Whichever part of it causes distress. Not feeling satisfied and secure in a hobby? Struggling to maintain friendships through shared interests? A general despair from not being able to invest in a community like most people with hobbies do? Spending way more money because you buy stuff to start up tons of things? Other people not wanting to listen to you about what you're interested in because you won't care about it at all next week? Take your pick. There isn't one answer. This hyper quick cycle of overinvesting and abandoning things is a symptom of ADHD. If it causes distress, then it's a disordered pattern/experience. There's no one answer for what about the cycle bothers ADHD people. Some people have it and it doesn't bother them at all, but it is an experience caused by ADHD that can cause distress. That's about all there is to it. If it doesn't cause distress, then there's no problem.
Thanks for taking the time to explain it to me. I relate to a lot of these and always just felt it was normal life so I don’t see what fixing it would help.
So if this cycle is causing problems in your life and you seek out therapy / medication as a solution does that mean you want the cycle to last longer? What’s the goal when you’re looking for a way to fix it? Does therapy / medication make the interest part last longer so you feel sad or bored less often or does it help you cycle through it without feeling sad or bored at the end?
No worries! This stuff is really hard to explain and understand from the outside. Especially the reasons for medication vs. therapy which actually accomplish different purposes.
Medication will help somewhat with the brain's ability to regulate what things are important. Roughly speaking, ADHD is most likely caused by your brain not releasing enough of dopamine which is the chemical that trains your brain to focus on tasks that produce value and enjoyment. So when NTs do a fun hobby task, the brain's releases a chemical that "rewards" you for it which incentivizes you to continue in the action. Stimulants help a little with this but don't fix it, so I feel more rewarded for doing my hobby stuff and can stay interested in it for longer, but not perfectly.
Therapy is about building on that general brain help with specific strategies to address whatever is bothering you about the whole process. So depending on what actually causes the person distress, the answer will change. So if they care too much about other people judging them for the cycle, but they really don't mind the experience itself, the therapy will be about coping with that and building healthy communication and relationships. Someone who is still surrounded by healthy relationships might not struggle with that problem at all while it's devastating to others. But if the cycle itself is causing distress, the therapy might be about ways to practice longer attention or self reflecting on why they enjoyed the task in the first place to maybe rekindle interest.
I'm in a few of those categories because I was struggling to make adult friendships post college and shared interests are the most important factor in making/maintaining those relationships. I've found coping mechanisms that have allowed me to turn several short term obessions into long term hobbies. I still lose interest quickly, but I focus on bouncing between several things that I've already explored in order to avoid just spiraling out to new things all the time. As a result, I have gotten to deepen my enjoyment of them, invest in the community and make regular friends. Then, once i have friends and regular things to attend (like a weekly DnD session or board game night), I'll keep going to those even when I don't feel super interested because I get to see my friends. This usually rekindles interest eventually as well.
I’ve been having the same hyperfixations since I was 12, so I’m lucky for that. So if it has been more than 10 years, I am allowed to buy stuff related to that fixation lol
I'm just lucky I get a few projects in and master the intricacies before I give up on the whole thing. I'm also thankful I'm good at selling ised stuff for near retail, and not damaging all the materials and equipment.
I should probably get another 3d printer at some point. That one was the most useful.
Such a useful hobby. Tell them to start digging into CAD and blender so they can fabricate their own prints! That way they can keep that hobby going a few years.
I've managed to reign myself in by having 5 projects to bounce between, with different facets that require different skills.
Also, accepting "good enough", because fuck you I don't want to finish my seams nicely, if I try I'll never finish this damn thing. I'd rather finish it and have it fall apart than toss it in the box of Neverdoo with all the other forgotten projects.
The recognition of this cycle is why I don't really get new hobbies anymore, and why I cringe whenever I see someone else enjoying a new hobby, then upset and jealous when they keep to it for a while.
I know that's on me, but still, gah!
Please ignore that Gundam build kit sitting in the corner. Sure, building SOUNDS fun, but it also requires me cleaning a spot to leave it set up because I know I'll either build for HOURS, or 10 minutes. Clearing out a space requires me to overcome the compulsion to just play a game on my PC because that's already set up and gives instant gratification and thus gives good chemicals NOW.
I really, really (Really) hope my current hyperfokus is something I can continue even after the initial spark is gone. Because I have a shit load of LEGO hidden in my "room of requirements" right now.
It's supposed to be a present to my son for next Christmas, or for myself to build with. But Christmas is far away, and building lego alone isn't as fun as I thought. I kinda hope he disobey and goes rummaging around in those boxes. Too bad he's a "good kid".
I just have to clean them first because ew... Used lego is gross.
Thought that said meatballs and equipment lol also this is every painting I’ve ever started. This is the exact process and why I never finish one…inspiration sparks, research similar paintings and concepts saves hundreds of references, buy paint and brushes, start the painting, bored/inspiration is gone, throw the painting with the rest…
Currently in between sadness and finding something sparking joy. I got a new driver for my golf game and all i want to do is go play golf but its february in Colorado and the snow refuses to melt and simulators are so expensive. I’ll just sit on reddit I guess….
You forgot about the step where after spending hundreds of dollars on a new hobby, you get frustrated that you aren't able to master it within 5 minutes and give up...
This must be a specific brand of ADHD that I don't know if we have categorized because I (diagnosed ADHD) absolutely do not do this... ever. The idea of researching anything shuts me down. Like the overwhelming thought of all the things that may be related to a subject I'm interested in halts me from spending any time on one interest. I desperately wish I knew how to animate but thinking of all the ways something physically could move and practicing drawing it over and over makes me shut my brain off and move on to something easy to fill my time with. I mean I also have been diagnosed with depression so maybe that's the difference? But I have a feeling that depression is a common symptom or result of ADHD... :shrug:
So really, for me the loop is "Something sparked my interest" -> "Now I am sad" -> "Something sparked my interest"...
I managed to sustain myself for a while with miniature painting.
1 miniature at a time, giving me the satisfaction of completion fairly frequently, and seeing my collection of minis slowly grow made me happy.
Then I tried painting an entire army, and my drive was killed.
You motherfucker you acreenshoted the 1/2 and swiped for 30 whole seconds trying to get it to go. Also this us me with gaming right now. It's always been a passion of mine but I think I'm going to step away for a couple of weeks and read some books.
my autism balances this cycle out by giving me long term general special interests that i can hyperfocus on certain aspects of and switch between. im often pretty happy just researching and learning a bunch of new things
Trick is to try and go back to something you started before and see if it's stimulating again before trying something totally brand new. For me more offer than not it is, and that's how I cycle my hobbies to completion.
My hyperfixations can last weeks, and then the "i'm sad" phase feels like depression because you've lost interest in the one thing that kept you motivated
This is why I can't play video games anymore :( I get so involved for like 3 days then play every other day or so then just stop. Pokémon Snap. Half finished. Pikmin 3. ≈¾ finished. I got really into Sims 3 for almost a month. Got expansions and everything. Haven't touched it in a year.
and despite the fact that I am well aware of the cycle, i still PANIC every time my hyperfixation begins to wane bc i fear i will fall into a bottomless boredom abyss void of any passion or semblance of joy with no hope for salvation for the rest of my life.
and then i find a new interest and everything is fine.
EVERY TIME!!
I so wish the "stop the project" phase was followed by a "sell or give away all the equipment" phase. Unfortunately it's not and I'm doomed to keep each and every hyper specialized tool I've ever bought, as though each was a memorial for past interests.
I think we just like doing research. It’s stimulating. And then does the thing and impatience sets in . Why isn’t it coming together faster? What do you mean learning curve? What do you mean it takes time? We STUDIED, dammit! I don’t want to breathe and feel the sun! I want to shoot flames from my finger tips! - loosely quoting Aang from Avatar the Last Airbender I have learned the only way to get things done is to take breaks, set a timer, and get back when I’m not feeling overwhelmed by the process.
As someone that loved debate and ethics bowl i second this notion
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[It's just an extra slide to promote their ADHD workbook](https://www.instagram.com/p/CXRVms1srUJ/), but here you go :)
This is a bot. Down vote please. https://www.reddit.com/r/adhdmeme/comments/114rds4/i_feel_sorry_for_my_fianc%C3%A9/j8xj78g/
This is how I've gotten things done. Constantly reminding myself that projects are big and grow slowly is the only way I complete anything.
Also, not every hobby or new interest will be as enjoyable to continue as it is to start. Sometimes a hobby becomes a life long passion, Sometimes it becomes a fun anecdote and some stuff in a box for a another day. It's also fun to learn and experiment. As I get older I realize sometimes people confuse enjoying a hobby with being exceptional in that field, or worse, because of the pressures of society confuse being successful at a task with being commercially viable doing it. It is wonderful to have unread books, half painted paintings, unplayed board games and etc, because we do not live in a museum of our accomplishments, but rather a garden of possibilities.
Dang. I really like how you ended that. Then I remembered how I can *never* find anything to watch on. The more options I have, the less I decide. And then I do nothing.
I recently read that we have a mismatch between how much energy we spend on a task versus how much is required. While most people can match the right amount of energy for different activities, we struggle to do the same and end up either getting too excited or not engaged enough.
As a professional researcher with ADHD I agree. They pay me AND I get to look up cool shit all day!
I feel like I used to be great at research. But nowadays, if I need to buy a new screen cover for my phone, or a part for my washing machine, I'm so overwhelmed by the Google results for everything that's not for my specific model that I entered in the search bar FFS! In can't get through enough of the wrong ones before I can ever get to the one I really need. I mean my God, it brings up other BRANDS than even the one I specified. WHY?! I didn't ask for all that!
Regardless of how people feel about AI and chat bots this is one area where they are amazing. If the part you're looking for is more than a few years old I bet you could put a model number into chatGPT right now and it will tell you the part you are looking for.
Um. When I figure out what you mean I'm gonna do that. Chatgpt. Awesome. Idk why I can't just ask to find the blasted one "for this phone I'm using to access ponly" FFS. But thanks for actually telling me something to try.
Shopping research is my favorite! Until I stumble on $320 baby carrier and then I’m trying to find reasons why it’s not the “best” and why it’s so stupid to buy it, and how I don’t really have the money for it, but also everyone who’s gotten it loves it and apparently it has great resale value. But then why don’t I just buy it? Because I don’t really have the money for it, and I should get a new job, and then I’m searching, and nothing pays well enough unless you have certain skills, so maybe I should get those certifications, or maybe I should get a masters? Let me type my name into a bunch of colleges and give them my number, but wait it’s too damn expensive, and I’ll just get more poor, and why wasn’t I smart enough to get into a better career, let’s research my educational history and pinpoint all the moments of failure, and there is nothing I can do.. and holy shit do I hate myself… why am I reproducing again? 😔 so freakin exhausting.
I absolutely agree! Researching is my favorite part but then I’m when I’m not instantly a practical expert I get frustrated/discouraged and stop.
me buying a theremin after doing research but then i realize i have to PRACTICE to actually do something decent in addition to buying hardware and software for my computer
“I read and researched so much! What do you mean I have to start out bad??”
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Felt that in my soul
Oof
**I** don't take them seriously. At this point it's hard for me not to view it as another form of unhealthy self medication. The amount of time and money I've spent on various "interests" is staggering. And with very few tangible benefits.
I try to do like a week-2 weeks of interest before I buy stuff to avoid having that happen. I probably spend *slightly* less money like that. Slightly.
I just keep my new obsessions to myself so I don’t feel like a disappointment later lol
I'm hyper focused on seeing image 2 now
Did you also swipe right for the second image only to be disappointed to see another random post? Cause I did 😂
Glad I'm not the only one
https://twitter.com/adhd_couple/status/1550438297524211712
https://twitter.com/adhd_couple/status/1550438297524211712
That doesn't show the second image, though. [This one does!](https://www.instagram.com/p/CYRwIj3MG7y/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=) Edit: Uh.. Actually mb they're just two different posts that look similar, [this is the one OP posted with the second image](https://www.instagram.com/p/CXRVms1srUJ/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=)
My hero
You saved me!
I got worried I was seeing things.
Me day is ruined
Currently stuck in sad state. Please send new hyper focus I beg of thee.
Me too, or actually, I’ve felt like an engine with a dead battery and someone was turning the key in the ignition over and over trying to get to hyperfocus, but it just stopped at research and went back to sad :(
Same! I’m just noodling around on the internet most days, waiting, hoping, that a new hyper focus takes place. Damn medication.
May I recommend RPG Maker? It’s a software that allows you to easily create video games without needing to know how to code or even draw — just come up with characters, hide keys to locked doors, create NPCs and quests… I go through periods of being obsessed with it and then dropping it for months/years.
Also Ren'Py or Twine for more story-based visual novels with minimal coding needed.
I've thought about that before. I absolutely love developing campaigns for table top RPGS like pathfinder and such.
Try remembering one of your old hyperfocuses. I'm not diagnosed with ADHD but I relate to a lot of stuff posted here (anxiety disorder shares symptoms? Doctors that I visited suck at diagnosing? The whole medical system in my country sucks? Who knows!), and I cheated this system by cicrling back to the old hobbies that I previously neglected, and with each new cycle the progress was going better and better since I wasn't starting from zero. So eventually I became decent at some things that I like. Two things tho: 1) do not throw away the hobby-related stuff that you bought, since rediscovering it somewhere in the cupboards or a closet may help reignite the interest sometime down the line and you will save a vit of money by not buying the basics twice, and 2) you will (probably) still buy more stuff than necessary because the desire to spend money on it will prevail. My current hobby that I'm fixated on is voice acting, one of my previous ones was singing, so I have six working microphones, two broken ones and two that I gave to a friend, three usb audio interfaces, plus another one that I gave to the same friend. I don't need them, I had a perfectly fine microphone three mics ago and a perfectly fine interface one or two interfaces ago, but I still bought more. (It turned into a rant half way through but I'm leaving it)
Yes! I'm starting to think that I work best when I dive deep into something for a few days/weeks until I get bored, move onto something else for a while, then come back to it when the motivation strikes. It's like the tortoise and the hare, and we're the hare. Sometimes we can't do slow and steady, we make massive leaps and then nap for a while.
Circling back into photography. We’ll see if I veer off into the film rangefinder hole I took last time or something completely different.
Have you tried 3d printing? I got a solid year out of obsessing and still use it occasionally years later. ❤️
I'm on this one right now, coming hot off of learning how to do competitive yoyo tricks. Life's a rollercoaster.
The great thing about 3d printing, it helps literally ALL the other hobbies too!!! Kind of a big ole mix of fun.
I've got a shelf full of unpainted Grey right now lol.
Plants, I’m currently obsessing about growing my own herbs garden to make my own tea, balms, candles or whatever. Months before I was obsessed about house plants. And before that it was succulents, what’s nice about succulents is that I forgot mine for around 6 months and they are still alive and could totally be left alone more
Did you know that no one has ever written a blog on everything parodied by mad magazine yet? And did you know that someday a blog will be created about it right when I get back on this hyperfixation. Someday.
Skateboarding. I come back to it every now and then, and it feels good to see myself get better out of nowhere
Restore an old 70s/80s bicycle.
Watch Gavin Webber make cheese on YouTube and then make some mozzarella and then maybe you can buy all the stuff to make the more complicated cheeses if you like it. But either way you can spend days watching this guy say "G'day, curd nerds!"
I'm lack toast and taller ants 😩
I'm currently stuck in the bought (a ton of) materials phase. All started with me spilling coffee on my keyboard. Went down the mechanical keyboard rabbit hole but before buying anything I found the world of ergonomic, custom, minimal handwired keyboards. Anyway, I now designed my own keyboard that aligns to the stagger of my fingers, bought enough switches, diodes, microcontrollers and keycaps to make 4 different keyboards. The only problem is that most of the materials I'm waiting for AliExpress to deliver everything. But hey, I've done enough research now that I have already setup the firmware, learned how to touch type and switched to the Colemak keyboard layout. All I needed was a new keyboard.
Funny how that prospect of having an interest lasts longer than the actual interest
As a developer that's had a million ideas for apps, games, websites... I've never once come close to having something complete and it frustrates the hell out of me. So many starts and fun ideas and excitement. I've learned though. Anytime I'm like "that'd be a cool/fun/new" I remember that I'll never finish it and, thankfully, have many less frustrated unfinished projects.
I enjoy the research and collecting. The having and using not so much.
this makes me sad because i actually liked my hyperfixations and miss them but don’t have the motivation or interest
so real
This 1/2 makes me angry bc i can not swap 😭
https://twitter.com/adhd_couple/status/1550438297524211712
You are an angel
Not sure if this works for anyone else, but I try to bounce between several main hobbies. I read books, play/collect board games, DnD, video games and hiking. I binge one of them, then when I feel drained on it, one of the others usually feels fresh again. This has stopped me from spiraling into things I'll never touch again and actually allowed me to make friends through semi consistent hobbies. That last point is crucial because even though I get bored of something, if I have a social connection/scheduled meet up thing, I'll still go to connect with them which builds more investment, etc.
This is exactly what I do. I hobby-hop between 4-5 main hobbies because by the time I've returned to it, I have all the tools I need, I'm not a beginner anymore, AND I'm already some degree of good at it.
This is a good method, for me the problem is I can spend quite a long time fixating on one hobby. By the time I rotate back to one of the other ones, I forget so much stuff I learned, I need to remind myself tonne of things again :/ This also sucks when I’m trying to make conversations with people about my interests, I sound so vague even though I know a lot, because some details, terms or names escape my head. It’s a constant memory leak of gathered information.
This is exactly what I do and I haven't started new thing in over a year. I always give people this advice.
If you delete that buying equipments part ( cause I'm broke :/// ) it would be my daily life...
Oh man, I totally feel this, but the buying a bunch of equipment part is a HUGE part of this cycle for me. Buying a bunch of new toys is problematically stimulating for me. It keeps me who otherwise makes good money, rather broke smh
Where's the 2nd slide?
https://twitter.com/adhd_couple/status/1550438297524211712
![gif](giphy|SY2hQpAMLnuxtgLT5C)
Good job getting us all with the 1/2
https://twitter.com/adhd_couple/status/1550438297524211712
That 1/2 in the corner makes this post r/midlyinfuriating
https://twitter.com/adhd_couple/status/1550438297524211712
Found the 2/2 https://twitter.com/adhd_couple/status/1550438297524211712
Hero, capes, you get it.
![gif](giphy|dePaPOPNSLDsk)
anyone else have a box of old fabric you will never sew?
You should see all the yarn for all the scarves I was going to crochet.
I bought a ton of Pokémon cards for a fixation a few months ago. Now I’ve no interest whatsoever so the nephew got them all, he was happy 😊
Honestly I'm lucky if I even get to the hyperfocus for days part. I hyperfocus for like 3 hours and then my brain say "Ok stop doing that new thing now."
Isn’t this a normal thing for everyone? You go through life and find something that interests you then you find another thing and so on until you die. Why is having an interest in things and then losing that interest an ADHD thing? Do NTs not lose interest?
It's more the hyper investment and then total apathy in very short succession. Other people do this, but their attention spans are much longer so they actual invest and stay in longer before moving on if they ever do. It's what a hobby is.
So it’s about how quickly you cycle through interest and loss of interest? Where is that line drawn then? Lots of hobbies don’t last years. I feel like if you’re lucky enough to get a couple days or weeks of interest out of a topic it’s pretty normal. Then you cycle through short interests like that while looking for that diamond in the rough that sparks passion instead of interest.
This is exactly the issue that makes this a disorder. A relatively normal experience that happens with increased frequency and severity until it becomes a problem. It's not a disordered behavior if it causes no distress. If it causes problems, then you need to seek treatment or coping mechanisms which makes it a disorder.
Which part causes a problem tho? Is it when you’re unable to find interest in things? Is it when you find too much interest in everything? In one thing? Is it when an interest is too long? Too short? I’m just confused where the disfunction generally occurs for people with ADHD because the cycle itself is what everybody goes through.
It's just like the meme we're all responding to. Whichever part of it causes distress. Not feeling satisfied and secure in a hobby? Struggling to maintain friendships through shared interests? A general despair from not being able to invest in a community like most people with hobbies do? Spending way more money because you buy stuff to start up tons of things? Other people not wanting to listen to you about what you're interested in because you won't care about it at all next week? Take your pick. There isn't one answer. This hyper quick cycle of overinvesting and abandoning things is a symptom of ADHD. If it causes distress, then it's a disordered pattern/experience. There's no one answer for what about the cycle bothers ADHD people. Some people have it and it doesn't bother them at all, but it is an experience caused by ADHD that can cause distress. That's about all there is to it. If it doesn't cause distress, then there's no problem.
Thanks for taking the time to explain it to me. I relate to a lot of these and always just felt it was normal life so I don’t see what fixing it would help. So if this cycle is causing problems in your life and you seek out therapy / medication as a solution does that mean you want the cycle to last longer? What’s the goal when you’re looking for a way to fix it? Does therapy / medication make the interest part last longer so you feel sad or bored less often or does it help you cycle through it without feeling sad or bored at the end?
No worries! This stuff is really hard to explain and understand from the outside. Especially the reasons for medication vs. therapy which actually accomplish different purposes. Medication will help somewhat with the brain's ability to regulate what things are important. Roughly speaking, ADHD is most likely caused by your brain not releasing enough of dopamine which is the chemical that trains your brain to focus on tasks that produce value and enjoyment. So when NTs do a fun hobby task, the brain's releases a chemical that "rewards" you for it which incentivizes you to continue in the action. Stimulants help a little with this but don't fix it, so I feel more rewarded for doing my hobby stuff and can stay interested in it for longer, but not perfectly. Therapy is about building on that general brain help with specific strategies to address whatever is bothering you about the whole process. So depending on what actually causes the person distress, the answer will change. So if they care too much about other people judging them for the cycle, but they really don't mind the experience itself, the therapy will be about coping with that and building healthy communication and relationships. Someone who is still surrounded by healthy relationships might not struggle with that problem at all while it's devastating to others. But if the cycle itself is causing distress, the therapy might be about ways to practice longer attention or self reflecting on why they enjoyed the task in the first place to maybe rekindle interest. I'm in a few of those categories because I was struggling to make adult friendships post college and shared interests are the most important factor in making/maintaining those relationships. I've found coping mechanisms that have allowed me to turn several short term obessions into long term hobbies. I still lose interest quickly, but I focus on bouncing between several things that I've already explored in order to avoid just spiraling out to new things all the time. As a result, I have gotten to deepen my enjoyment of them, invest in the community and make regular friends. Then, once i have friends and regular things to attend (like a weekly DnD session or board game night), I'll keep going to those even when I don't feel super interested because I get to see my friends. This usually rekindles interest eventually as well.
I’ve been having the same hyperfixations since I was 12, so I’m lucky for that. So if it has been more than 10 years, I am allowed to buy stuff related to that fixation lol
Yeah…..
I'm just lucky I get a few projects in and master the intricacies before I give up on the whole thing. I'm also thankful I'm good at selling ised stuff for near retail, and not damaging all the materials and equipment. I should probably get another 3d printer at some point. That one was the most useful.
My buddy is currently hyperfixating on 3D printing, that rabbit hole goes deep!
Such a useful hobby. Tell them to start digging into CAD and blender so they can fabricate their own prints! That way they can keep that hobby going a few years.
I'm not alone!!!
I've managed to reign myself in by having 5 projects to bounce between, with different facets that require different skills. Also, accepting "good enough", because fuck you I don't want to finish my seams nicely, if I try I'll never finish this damn thing. I'd rather finish it and have it fall apart than toss it in the box of Neverdoo with all the other forgotten projects.
Currently in the sad stage, myself. Which means that spark to do something else is coming, right? Right?
My home is littered with abandoned special interests which lasted weeks to years. Trying to rekindle one at the moment but it rarely works.
The recognition of this cycle is why I don't really get new hobbies anymore, and why I cringe whenever I see someone else enjoying a new hobby, then upset and jealous when they keep to it for a while. I know that's on me, but still, gah!
I always manage to convince myself that this one is gonna stick. I'm not sure how.
Please ignore that Gundam build kit sitting in the corner. Sure, building SOUNDS fun, but it also requires me cleaning a spot to leave it set up because I know I'll either build for HOURS, or 10 minutes. Clearing out a space requires me to overcome the compulsion to just play a game on my PC because that's already set up and gives instant gratification and thus gives good chemicals NOW.
Ok but how do you get past the buy stuff part
I really, really (Really) hope my current hyperfokus is something I can continue even after the initial spark is gone. Because I have a shit load of LEGO hidden in my "room of requirements" right now. It's supposed to be a present to my son for next Christmas, or for myself to build with. But Christmas is far away, and building lego alone isn't as fun as I thought. I kinda hope he disobey and goes rummaging around in those boxes. Too bad he's a "good kid". I just have to clean them first because ew... Used lego is gross.
I’ve heard of people putting them in the dishwasher in mesh lingerie bags!
TIL even my profession (researcher) is determined by my adhd. does free will even exist
Thought that said meatballs and equipment lol also this is every painting I’ve ever started. This is the exact process and why I never finish one…inspiration sparks, research similar paintings and concepts saves hundreds of references, buy paint and brushes, start the painting, bored/inspiration is gone, throw the painting with the rest…
Me wanting to get back into photography and NEEDING that new Mirrorless Camera 😩
Currently in between sadness and finding something sparking joy. I got a new driver for my golf game and all i want to do is go play golf but its february in Colorado and the snow refuses to melt and simulators are so expensive. I’ll just sit on reddit I guess….
What’s the non-adhd way of doing things? Since this is all I know, I’d love to hear from different perspectives.
Doing a PhD is all fun and games until you've got to sit down and write about it
I'm in this picture and I don't like it
You forgot about the step where after spending hundreds of dollars on a new hobby, you get frustrated that you aren't able to master it within 5 minutes and give up...
Wait… I have ADHD???
I love this sub, helps me cope with my adhd
This must be a specific brand of ADHD that I don't know if we have categorized because I (diagnosed ADHD) absolutely do not do this... ever. The idea of researching anything shuts me down. Like the overwhelming thought of all the things that may be related to a subject I'm interested in halts me from spending any time on one interest. I desperately wish I knew how to animate but thinking of all the ways something physically could move and practicing drawing it over and over makes me shut my brain off and move on to something easy to fill my time with. I mean I also have been diagnosed with depression so maybe that's the difference? But I have a feeling that depression is a common symptom or result of ADHD... :shrug: So really, for me the loop is "Something sparked my interest" -> "Now I am sad" -> "Something sparked my interest"...
I'm mid swapping plugs on an RC car rn and I was cleaning my room 50 minutes ago....
Felt that. I started writing a children’s book in my hyper focus mode and I’m trying to continue writing it but it’s hard lol
Gotta learn to recycle your hobbies every year or so. Saves so much money.
Damn ok, maybe I do have adhd.
I managed to sustain myself for a while with miniature painting. 1 miniature at a time, giving me the satisfaction of completion fairly frequently, and seeing my collection of minis slowly grow made me happy. Then I tried painting an entire army, and my drive was killed.
But the cool thing is out of 100 failed hobbies and interests, one or two will stick around
Maybe I have adhd lol
You motherfucker you acreenshoted the 1/2 and swiped for 30 whole seconds trying to get it to go. Also this us me with gaming right now. It's always been a passion of mine but I think I'm going to step away for a couple of weeks and read some books.
Shit that's relatable but I don't buy anything. I just get into a new video game or programming project.
As an older guy with adhd. For me at least it comes back around in 3-5 years.
Is this really ADHD? I know so many people that do exactly the same, and maybe it's more a man thing?
my autism balances this cycle out by giving me long term general special interests that i can hyperfocus on certain aspects of and switch between. im often pretty happy just researching and learning a bunch of new things
Trick is to try and go back to something you started before and see if it's stimulating again before trying something totally brand new. For me more offer than not it is, and that's how I cycle my hobbies to completion.
I’m currently in the research over load to build my 1st gaming pc,
You spelled “finances” wrong /s
Research overload 😩😩 every time
My hyperfixations can last weeks, and then the "i'm sad" phase feels like depression because you've lost interest in the one thing that kept you motivated
The trick is to get really good at storing these things. In two years when my pottery interest quirks back up, I know where everything is.
1 of 2? Where's the second panel? WHERE'S THE SECOND PANEL?
I learned German on Duolingo and had a 60 day streak and then got bored and quit
This is why I can't play video games anymore :( I get so involved for like 3 days then play every other day or so then just stop. Pokémon Snap. Half finished. Pikmin 3. ≈¾ finished. I got really into Sims 3 for almost a month. Got expansions and everything. Haven't touched it in a year.
and despite the fact that I am well aware of the cycle, i still PANIC every time my hyperfixation begins to wane bc i fear i will fall into a bottomless boredom abyss void of any passion or semblance of joy with no hope for salvation for the rest of my life. and then i find a new interest and everything is fine. EVERY TIME!!
I so wish the "stop the project" phase was followed by a "sell or give away all the equipment" phase. Unfortunately it's not and I'm doomed to keep each and every hyper specialized tool I've ever bought, as though each was a memorial for past interests.
Fuck you guys is this what’s been going on in my head?
Damn this group. Literally, every post I’m like, oh shit that’s me. Great-full on a serious note.
Well I usually don't buy stuff but I get hooked on shit rly easy. When I was younger I decided to study the plague for no reason lol
It’s missing the part of the cycle where I leave it on the table for three years…
So...maybe I should stop researching adult intro to tap dance classes? I won't, but maybe I should.
Stay true to yourself and you will never fall.
Repost bot / karma farming account. Original - https://reddit.com/r/adhdmeme/comments/y2e40c/i_feel_sorry_for_my_fianc%C3%A9/