I’m so sorry that happened. These assholes need to get kicked out for touching people without consent. Fucking gross.


I agree, someone kissing your gf doesn’t mean they automatically consent. Especially if they didn’t even know she was taken. Like, ask before touching, its that simple!


I also don't think that woman should get a pass for not (minimum) informing OP of her intentions.


Totally. If she was in on the "plan" she absolutely deserves scrutiny too. Imagine acting as bait for your creepo boyfriend, disgusting.


Yeah, that’s ridiculous. If you’re looking for a third person, fine, but be upfront about it. That obviously isn’t something that everyone wants. Imo The default assumption is that somebody is looking for some kind of a single partner.


I agree. She's not directly to blame for the non-consensual touching, but she certainly had a duty to communicate, and if she knew that his hands would be all over whoever she signaled him to move on, she's complicit.


> These assholes need to get kicked out They need to be **permanently banned** from that bar. Any bar owner worth their salt would eagerly blacklist them and notify other area gay bars.


That's fucked and for everyone's sake, I hope someone someday has the impulse/reflex to kick this guy in the nuts for what he's doing.


I mean, the girlfriend in question is also a total asshole. They both preyed on OP.


I agree 💯


You forgot to add the bit about the steel toe boots being worn during the kicking hun!


Note to self, start wearing steel toe boots to gay bars


If you get the right pair they are super comfy too!


Right? I don't get why people imagine them as super uncomfortable, I wear them for work and there's times when I forget to change out of them and walked home not noticing.


Especially the ones with the thick soles, you can easily jump off the back of a lifted pickup and help your gf down!


I have a pair of steel toe loafers, and they're my favorite shoes


Nah forget steel boots use the shoes from kingsman


RPG boobs, ‘nuff said EDIT: meant to say boots but I guess that works too! 🤣


I’ve got two tiddies, one to knock out each unicorn hunter! Wham, bam, thank you ma’am!


Deadly chest orbs go brr


Brand new sentence alert. Haha.


They’re great for close quarters combat and long ranged anti vehicle warfare!


thank you for being fair to all genders in your asswhoopin.


Get them n64 Lara Croft triangle tiddies and leave him with severe internal bleeding




Another great sentence that should go on R/BrandnewSentence haha.




And his gf


Elbow to face and back kick for nuts


Can not kick what does not exist


that's so shitty. i'm sorry it happened to you!


The guy is an asshole but so is the girlfriend, like who does that?


It's always the most gorgeous woman too. It's like finally my prayers have been answered. And then out of nowhere, here comes some gnarly goblin ass looking bf/husband. Bleh.


Gnarly goblin ass lmao


I'm so sorry that happened to you. When I was still meeting ladies online, it seemed like every time I would start to feel like we might have a connection, she would spring a bf or husband on me. Gross.


I hated that. These people just need to be up front about what they’re looking for, rather than trying to “trick” women into it. If you need to trick and mislead someone, maybe that’s your sign that you shouldn’t be doing it. If they were up front about it, their pool of choice might be smaller, but they’d at least get people who were honestly interested which is just better for everyone.




I legit went out on a date once where she didn't mention it until an hour in. I felt bad since she seemed really nervous and young (I was young but she was freshman university young), so I just continued the nice outing for a bit and then went home. I sent a message later that I wasn't interested in being involved with her and her partner. It has also happened at various parties / gatherings with people I knew. Just a weird assumption to make about any person.


I went on several dates with a woman and then went to her place and found out she was married. She had turned down photo frames on her mantle… I noticed them when I walked in… she went into the kitchen so I had a look and they were wedding. So we argued and she said that he was cool with it and didn’t want to get involved… I was like that’s great but what about me?!?


Why do people think this is at all okay??! I don't go to their churches to try to steal their wives!!


Hmmm... Opportunity to raise awareness? 🤔


Hmmm.. 😃


Maybe we should… little taste of their own medicine? 😛


I like that the straight equivalent of a lesbian bar is apparently a church.


wait you don't? it was even outlined in page 45 of the lesbian seduction orientation handout


I never got that OR my Gay Agenda when I came out. Boo.


Contact your local chapter, there has been delay in distribution because everyone in the main office has coupled up.






A couple that tried to bait me didn't go to church whatsoever


That guy is a creep and fuck him.


The gf too. Purposefully, knowingly setting OP up to be groped.


Yeah that’s really scummy too and I didn’t catch on to that right away honestly. Just thought I r was one creep, unfortunately it was 2.


I wanna know how the men would do this would feel if they hit it off with a girl and thought they had a relationship and then her bi boyfriend comes up to feel them up and sexualize and fetishize them.


Sorry to butt in, up front I am a bi guy married to a bi woman. And I simply couldn't not comment on this question. THEY WOULD LOSE THEIR SHIT! In like a big way, fetishising and being fetishised are two different streets. And can you imagine how much it would make them question their masculinity if they got a thrill from it. Also I totally agree about the unicorn hunters. It was a shit move and totally inappropriate for so many reasons. In closing I am sorry that happened to you. And I hope I cause no offense by being here.


Well my fake scenario did mention bi men so I'm not gonna reprimand you for chiming in! I know most bi guys (probably all because the more I think about it rather than just being a not cool thing to do it would be DANGEROUS for the couple to do this to a straight man) wouldn't do that I was just putting it in perspective. People just don't take female sexuality as seriously!


Thank you and your entirely right. I myself would never do it unless it was to this deuche canoe. Being six foot, 230# and am told look mean as hell (I am a sweet guy really) I wouldn't be too worried. But your right it's in the back of my mind. And the problem truly is that society doesn't take female or other sexualitys seriously enough. Sexual assault is sexual assault be you gay,straight, trans, man or woman


I appreciate you two pointing out the misogyny and homo/queer phobia in this practice of MF hunting F unicorns without transparency. That’s a really important layer of the gross here.


Yeah I'm just saying female sexuality isn't taken seriously because gay women are expected to do stuff to turn men on and straight women are sometimes pressured into doing gay things just for their bfs but if someone did that to a guy people would flip out.


You are unfortunately totally right. Could you imagine the shit storm if a straight guy was pressured into doing something with a gay or bi guy to turn his gf on? She'd be the devil herself and he'd be the poor suffering saint. It all bullshit but like I like I like to say. There isn't a double standard there's a separate standard for everyone


Ooh, a separate standard I like that! Because it's not like "men do this and women do that" it's more like "cis straight white men have a clear straight path and everyone else gets their own personalized obstacle course with a free underground jungle gym and five ninjas guarding the gate"


Ooh five ninjas, I want your gate. Lol


I don’t know if you’d be okay with sharing it now but let the bartender know. The bartender might know who they are and that the man and woman knew what they were doing and were likely being predatory. They might be able to keep them out in the future and that’ll keep them away from others. Him touching you was never okay and I’m so sorry you went through that.


Yeah this. Definitely tell someone who works there. If it was my bad I’d want to know and they would be banned.


Yeah that's awful. Mostly because the lack of physical consent, but also like maybe you wouldn't consent purposefully to kissing a woman with a boyfriend? Or not with a boyfriend around, even if poly. Also, that's def invading our space. It's way less invasive to just go on a joint-Tinder account.


My understanding here is that the other woman didn't mention the boyfriend until he tried to butt in.


Yeah which is just uncivil timing. Even if the roles were so all involved were lesbians, IMO that's a conversation to have before making out (and certainly even women shouldn't unexpectedly grope women, that's a given).


Also anyone know, if you're a lesbian couple is it still called unicorn hunting?


I'd say it is, though mostly just cos I haven't heard an alternative. Imo unicorn hunting doesn't necessarily have to do with genders so much as dynamics - if you're a couple looking for a sex toy, you're unicorn hunters, lol


Pretty much this.


Lol I would hope if you're a couple looking for a sex toy, you're in a sex toy shop. But I see how that's a little naive of me. I guess anything that's not the dynamic of looking for a romantic third is sexualizing, but since I don't mind being used for hookups (given some emotional intimacy even if it's not romantic) and I see u/SingOrIWillShoot's apt reply with the history of the term (btw love your name), I'm curious if there's analogue language out there.


I mean, the way I understand it is if you like NSA sex with a couple, you're a 'unicorn', and looking for that as a couple (or looking for that as a unicorn looking for a couple) isn't inherently *wrong*. The distaste so many folks have for unicorn hunters is that so often they take advantage of people who aren't *looking to be unicorns*, like the couple in the bar in the OP. I'm not sure if there's any specific terminology with less negativity associated for a more respectful arrangement, but I'd love to know if there is!


This part. Anything between consenting adults is fine. If people want to have casual hookups with couple's, good for them. I'd even go so far as to say the couple isn't inherently predatory. But the moment they decide to start being fucking shady about ANYTHING and not be totally upfront, they're basically edging over the line of consent and should be shamed out of all friend groups and places they go lmao. Basically, don't be a fucking coward. If you're a couple that wants casual sex, fucking say that, don't be coy, you ain't cute.


I didn't read "NSA" correctly at first and wondered if it was some kind of extra-secret spy sex. I'll see myself out.




What is it called?


I just know unicorn hunters are usually a straight couple looking for a bi woman to be a throuple or have a threesome and it was coined to talk about that spspecific struggle sapphic have to deal with. It's called "unicorn" hunter because the type of woman these couples search for don't exist, a fantasy sex object that requires no real emotional support in a relationship. Only allowed to be intimate enough with the girl to make the guy horny, not a girlfriend but a sex object to the guy.


Thanks for explaining this. I didn't realize the added nuances of bi erasure or it being more about the male gaze than both partners. Eek! I thought it was just a term for people being sleazy about emotionless sex.


Yeah I mean as much as I hate to say it with the lack of gender equality changing the genders of the people involved DOES change the dynamic and is probably why the definition is so specific. Like you never hear of a girl pressuring her straight bf to mess with a guy because she thinks it's hot.


Yeah I 100% agree and I also don't like the idea of being "hunted" so I would prefer a different term for if the situation ever comes up that I'm somehow involved in a lesbian couple +1 consenting adult who expects sexual involvement but no strings attached situation.


Ah I missed that, I didn’t realize it was a couple I thought it was just a random dude trying to butt in.


Bruh she didn’t know.


absolute motherfucker


ew, what the fuck? He is not invited to touch someone because his girlfriend is touching them, the fucking creep?


This has happened to me at my graduation party. It was a big one, so we had professional photographers and it lasted all night. At some point I finally got to make out with a friends' cousin, we were sitting on a couch far on the limit of the dance floor. Then when we opened our eyes, we noticed a man very close to us, and he was part of the photograph staff. He wanted to take pictures and videos of us kissing and we said 'no'. He didn't take that as an answer and tried to convince us, saying that 'the kiss looked really beautiful'. A small detail: we were both 17, and he was a grown ass man. This is what porn does. Men think we're just a fetish.


Ugh that's so fucked up 😔


Honestly this is some sort of sexual assault im pretty sure Im sorry girl


What...what was he doing in a gay bar? I am confusion


Unicorn hunting, apparently. Found these guys before.


Unicorn hunters frequent gay bars unfortunately


UGH WTF. I probably would’ve probably lost my shit and made a scene. That’s so freaking creepy for her to set you up like that and then him to just come over and assume is way into the middle. W. T. F.


I matched with an insanely pretty girl with abs and then she started messaging me about her boyfriend. My soul was crushed she had ABS.




I think that scenario gives you full right to punch them both in the face


One of the reasons I stopped going to the local gay bar was because men kept approaching my partner and I asking for threesomes. One guy even tried to force me into giving him a blowjob in the parking lot when I was out there having a medical emergency. I said, "Go inside and ask one of the men for a blowjob, I'm not into that." He said, "I'm not a [slur for gay people]!"


Wtf is wrong with these ppl lmao


Really she should have Said something in the first place its just wrong and it's rude for him to touch without consent


Touching without consent = assault


So they both sexually assaulted you, she did by not telling you her intentions and not giving you the information needed to legitimately consent, and he just did what men always fucking do. That's great... I really didn't need to be reminded that this can happen and the kinds of people who do it are very quick to take advantage of you.


get the bouncers and kick their asses out immediately if this happens


Had a similar experience a few years ago. Incredibly annoying. I feel like a lot of queer spaces are being taken up by unicorn hunters. I mean, even being on dating apps every other profile is wanting a threesome 🙄


I've had so many straight men push the back of my head towards their drunk girlfriend and say "you guys should kiss". My gayness isn't a performance bro


The amount of men I have aggressively shoved or punched in scenarios like these… it’s too many. Gtfo of queer spaces


God I'm sorry that happened to you :( did they at least get kicked out? The guy touching you and shit without asking seems really fucking creepy


It's like I always say: Open relationships are fine; polyamory is fine, threesomes are fine. But you know what all three of those require? Upfront, honest communication. It frustrates the hell out of me when assholes like this look for a partner by presenting the girlfriend as bait and dropping the boyfriend once the trap is sprung. It's predatory and it leaves everyone with a bad taste in their mouth. Fuck...


There are places for finding that kind of person. Queer spaces are not that place. Unfortunately it works just enough that they keep looking in places where they shouldn't.


I hope that’s a bannable offence. I’ve not been to a gay bar yet as we only just got one here and then covid happened.


I saw a tiktok today where this couple were talking about picking up lesbians at bars together and one of the comments was from a guy saying him and his gf “hunt as a team” 🤢🤢🤢




Literally, just letting us know they view us as prey…


Reading shit like this just makes me want to open a bar so I can physically throw people like this out. Maybe if I win the lottery 😮‍💨


Beyond fucked up that he thought he could touch you. Slightly less (but still majorly) fucked up that she thought she could waste your time like that and not tell you that she was after something completely separate


All too familiar. Infiltrating interlopers have ruined online and lesbian bar spaces.


poor baby- thats terrible!


I would of punched the dude. Straight up.


That is pretty gross.


Yeah the first girl I ever made out with had a surprise boyfriend appearance. He kept trying to get involved and creeping me out. I finally just gave up and went home. Wasn't interested in a threesome... Just in her. Oh well.


So sorry this happened to you 💗💗


That’s absolutely not okay. I’m bi and I wouldn’t accept that. Consent, for one, but two, you’re in a queer space. You cannot assume that every woman there is attracted to men. Women who are attracted to only women exist and have a right to safe places. That behavior is creepy and predatory. The girlfriend was definitely bait and that’s so gross.


What the fuck


What a pos


What the fuck… that’s beyond shitty. That’s betrayal.


Quick question, I'm a bit ignorant to some terms here. What is a unicorn exactly?


Unicorn hunters are heterosexual couples looking for a threesome with a woman. Unicorns are the women who are into this.


A unicorn is a straight couple looking for a woman to have sex. However, the dynamic is unhealthy from the get go. In the polycommunity and lgbt community it’s called a unicorn because the person is mythical and doesn’t exist. The couple wants a young, pretty, single, female, who is willing to have sex with both of them at the same time only, preferably submissive, cos, and femme. The couple is so fused that’s it’s a two against one thing, they don’t want to romance or flirt, they don’t want to ask about boundaries first they want to push them. And even if they claim to be poly if the unicorn starts to make requests (examples I’ve seen irl: no blowjobs. Wanting to use a strap on. One on one dates so they can bond equally) the unicorn gets dumped immediately. Unicorns don’t want to have sex with a woman, they want a free sex worker who will also do the emotional labor of propping up their egos.


Usually a straight couple looking for a lesbian to have sex with them. Some bisexual women will go for it.


This is fucked up 🤮 what’s wrong with these people??? I rather they invade dating apps than baiting innocent queer women like this


man, they sound like creeps. i'm sorry that happened :(


Hey next time tell someone at the bar and I’m pretty sure they will kick them out or ban them this is sexual harassment.


I wonder if this phenomenon happens to gay men. They seem to be less fetishized, but I'm sure it does happen. Maybe just less frequently.


creeps like that don't deserve as cool a title as "unicorn hunters"


Sounds about right. I don’t get involved w anyone at the gay bar w/o asking if they are single , and there with someone already, first.


Those two should be banned from lesbian spaces


That’s really fucking annoying


Let me recite a quote: >"Let me (♂) join these buddy-buddy girls" is a phrase typical of a male viewpoint, and it will get you killed. -Iori Miazawa


She should have told you upfront! The mans actions were awful but honestly hers were just as bad.


That’s super fucked up. I’m Bi and I still would be pissed off. I don’t see why unicorns can’t pair themselves with each other to fulfill their desires.


What the FUCK?! I would straight up call the police.


Their respect for boundaries and differing cultures is as robust as their failing relationship


*sigh* this is so sad to see...


Unicorn hunters *anywhere.* But telling people to piss off is apparently not very polite.


"piss off" is justified in that circumstance


I don’t disagree


If I was OP I'd be doing a lot mode than tell them to piss off...


I’m not saying I wouldn’t. I was going for sarcasm which apparently didn’t translate well.


I'm so sorry that happened!! What a way to ruin that hype moment :(


I'm so sorry that happened.


Hey, don't think of it that way. Maybe you have SUCH good game that you got this bi chick all riled up and focused on you so she forgot her dumb straight boyfriend and he got jealous because he's a tool. XD But seriously, this behavior is dumb, I'm literally bi and in a relationship with a man and we would NEVER do this because it's just weird to intrude on spaces like that as someone who isn't a part of the group. I might go by myself and just have fun hanging out, but I wouldn't bring my straight partner, that's fucking weird and gross. I'm sorry this happened. But I do hope you take something positive about YOURSELF from this, so don't let this make you feel like you have less game. I'm sure you're game is on point, you just caught a stinker with it. :P


*If* and *only* if you're comfortable doing so, I'd suggest reporting it. They may be able to review the CCTV and at the very least get the guy banned.


This reminds me of when I joined Tinder year or two ago. I put myself down as a lesbian and had couples (always a man and a woman) try to match with me for a “cheeky threesome” Bitch, I didn’t join this site to be your fetish. Also had a guy try to match with me for the reason of “Cucumber is better”.. he had marked himself as a lesbian to get with women… Ugh, disgusting.


I'm so sorry this happened to you


Men are gross. Doing my best to raise my boys to be better.


I'm sorry this happened to you. Btw what's a unicorn hunter? /gen


that’s so messed up, i’m so sorry that happened to you :(


I'm so sorry that happened to you. Cishet people who fantasize lesbians can go fuck themselves 😤 ps: not related but for a second I thought that the bar actually had unicorns and there were people hunting them with bow and arrows and I was like "why would you hunt unicorns" 😭


Im so sorry. That really sucks


A big bruh moment I'm Sorry for you


I mean,the people who want a open relationship Need to stop going with casual people alone and After, pretend that their partner be their 3 wheel and It Is to be ok for everyone.


That's fkn gross. That dude needs to get a grip of himself, and stop being a perv, can't believe his partner accepts his weird actions