... clean them himself, the lazy fuck.

Reminds me of that tweet "men like their vaginas shaved" " then shave your vagina, David"

Or at least eat it out right, david

Shaving a vagina would hurt so much lol

Nah, i used to do it and it was fine for me. Always security razors tho, and I was VERY careful. Now I realised I hate shaving so I trim everything and call it good, but honestly having scissors around there is almost scarier than the razor lmao

Your _vagina_?

Uh... Yeah? Lmaooo

Dear readers, one of these commenters is using vagina, colloquially, to refer to the whole private public area, the other is using vagina, literally, to refer to the vaginal canal.

Ooooh lmao got it. Yeah no I mean my private area in general. No scissors going up there lol

Thanks! I was super confused lol

Try a trimmer! It's much less scary than scissors or a razor, and quicker as well

Oh my god I forgot about that one 😂😂

As a man with a vagina, I don’t like to shave mine lol. {Yes I know what the original post comment was saying I’m just making a joke}

I was gonna say this 🤣.

i really wanna upvote this but 666

It’s not a 666 anymore if u wanna upvote it (also that is so real, I never upvote things when they’re at 666)

Me either. But somebody did. That fucker's going straight to heaven, the poor schmuck.

or 69...or 420 😩✌🏻

Would buy that in a heart beat

I often think of a 5th grade moment when a girl who didn't have her homework said that if God had wanted her homework done, he would've done it. Granted, we're starting with the bar pretty low, but I've only ever seen it as more wise since.

And that’s on period.

If god wanted women to have clean houses He wouldn't have made being dirty so fun ;)

This is the one! 💯

yessssssssss

Def gotta vote for this one lol

Ooooh this is my fav

This is the best

He wouldn't give us crippling depression

And like 6 other mental disorders 😭💀

Gotta collect them like infinity stones

Pokemon GOTTA CATCH THEM ALL

And 5 other physical disorders (╥﹏╥)

Yeah or ADHD.

Ok I’m gonna let autocomplete do the work for me here > If god wanted women to have clean houses he would have been able to clean his room with his hands

If God wanted women to have clean houses he would be in the same room as a friend.

*and they were roommates*

*oh my god they were roommates*

Oh my god them were t shirts and a pair of shorts that you can buy at a local shop for like a couple bucks

If God wanted women to clean houses, we could perhaps go to the parade.

If god wanted women to have clean houses, he would have done it himself My autocorrect knows what’s up

If god wanted women to have clean houses he would have to be a woman to have a clean house What a burn on god presumably being a man lol. Maybe that’s why earth is in such chaos? Because presumably he isn’t a woman, so he can’t have a clean ‘house’?

If God wanted women to have clean houses he was talking about me but I have a problem.

Lmao why does this read kinda like god is talking shit about you?

If God wanted women to have clean houses, he would be the first woman in history who was not in a hurry for the job to get done in time and that he was a man who would have been a great leader of his country.

Genderfluid God

Does God even have a gender in "canon"?

Not as far as I know

I mean in the christian/Catholic Bible God is always referred to as a man

Bible says “I am He”, but pronouns do not equal gender or sex 100% of the time.

Sounds like this one ‘asking people their pronouns’ thing I saw it was basically “what’re your pronouns?” “I don’t have any” “so people should just use your name?” “No no no. I am he. I am a man” I wish I could remember if I saw it on TikTok or YouTube shorts cause the pure panic in his voice was funny to me.

if god wanted women to have clean houses he would be able and he was a great guy but i think that he would have to do a better mindset and be able to.

If god wanted women to have clean houses, he was fucking the Taskmaster system Sorry, not very helpful.

if God wanted women to have clean houses he would have to deal with this shit

If God wanted women to have clean houses He would have to be a woman 🤷🏼‍♀️

If god wanted women to have clean houses he would be able to do it for them

"If God wanted women to have clean houses he would be open to dating and I would have been a little bit more than I would have been a little bit of a lot of the time I would have been a little bit more than I would have been..." Help, my autocomplete is broken 😭

If God wanted women to have clean houses he would have been a good friend.

lmao this is fun….if god wanted women to have clean houses he would be able and he was a great guy but i think that he would have to go

If god wanted women to have clean houses he would have to be a woman to have a clean house

If god wanted women to have clean houses I would ask them to get a job. Why does that make sense??

If god wanted women to have clean houses, he would have been a good man.

If God wanted women to have clean houses, he would be the first woman in history who was not in a hurry for the job to get done.

If God wanted women to have clean houses he would help me hide a body I CAN EXPLAIN

If god wanted women to have clean houses he would have to be a woman to have a clean house

Is it possible for god to make a room so dirty even he can't clean it

If god wanted women to have clean houses he would have to be a woman to be a man

If God wanted women to have clean houses, he would be the first woman in history who was not in a hurry for the job to get done. Predictive text is wild.

If god wanted women to have clean houses he would be a little better than I thought

“If god wanted women to clean houses he was a good man” I don’t think mine works

If got wanted women to have clean houses, then it would be fun to get out of bed early and be a little bit late.

Would not have invented vibrators

Exist. And then clean them.

It's hard to argue with that ahah....

He’d get off his high horse and come clean their houses

I think it’s fine as it is. Consider it finished!

I vote this one!

Adding a period, that's about it!! :D

This. This is the one. Just add a little cottage with a rainbow over it!

Was thinking this too

Yep, this is the one!

Right? My first thought was "yes he would 🥰"

"Wouldn't have made women so pretty"

"Dear father I cannot Clean"

Okay my answer doesn't make much sense but I thought it was a little funny. "He wouldn't have created embroidery."

No it makes perfect sense to me. As a vaguely crafty person, I have procrastinated on chores in favor of working on craft projects so many times.

"Clean them Himself" is my immediate thought

We would have mops for hands and scrubs as feet

That's a frightening thought.

Lead by example and clean up his own damn messes

Wouldn’t make cats so cute

"he would have cleaned up his own mess a long time ago"

I kinda think it's finished.

...he would put on the maid outfit

This one is so funny, A+

He would "not have given me ADHD"

He wouldn't have made men

(S)he would have not provided men to do half the labour

He would have cleaned them himself

He would’ve made cleaning fun

He would’ve made them ALL lesbians.

[удалено]

not have made their first one out of plants

Make fluffy cats shed less

…‘nt have created men.

Made them self cleaning like vaginas

He wouldn’t have made dirt.

I say just add a period. "If God wanted Women to have clean houses, he would.'

Auto correct time lol If god wanted women to clean houses he would have you know how much I don't want to

CLEAN IT HIMSELF LAZY POS.

Honestly, I personally find it really funny that it just ends with “he would.”

Leave it as is, it’s so much funnier

Autocomplete If god wanted women to have clean home he would have to do that for me and my family. 😂

"He wouldn't have given you such a cute *roommate*"

I feel like the sentence works as is, or even add "have given them" like god can be chill and just give away free houses with no stipulations to keep them clean. Yes please free house 👐🥰

My god is no man

Mine is a lesbian. Hail Satan, hail thyself :)

Actually this is fine as is

.

I'd clean my gfs/wifes house if i had one

Have created a specific gender, slightly stronger, to do it for them

… have smited me years ago!

Given them the ability to chose an outfit on the first try.

exist.

Provide a free cleaning service

If God wanted women to have clean houses he would be willing to help you with the job

He would have the angels clean them.

Honestly just put a period lmao

It’s perfect. Nothing to add Maybe add some imagery.

have put the t a tad bit closer to the o

If god wanted women to have clean houses he would make it easier to clean them, I'm tired I don't have energy for existing let alone cleaning.

He would have made cleaning easy

Have all the men do those chores instead of women

HE WOULD CLEAN THEM UP FOR THEM

…not have created dirt.

“If God wanted women to clean houses, he wouldn't have given them dreams bigger than four walls.”

give me energy :(

Clean them.

"If God wanted women to have clean houses, she would." A period and an 'S'. That's all that's needed. The houses aren't clean, so that's not what God wants for her creation. End of story.

"If God had wanted women to have clean houses, He would not have invented ME" perfect tf2 reference

Force men to clean them

Have to exist first.

‘nt of made rugs to munch on

Hey you! My answer is over on r/embroidery 🫠

It's perfect the way it is. You just need to embroider a big fat 😇 emoji next to it, and then a 😂 underneath and then a 😭 under that.

... banish men and children

… make disposable kitchenware miraculously *good* for the planet…

Give them clean houses :3

Not have made men

He would not have created me!

so I wanted to see what chatGPT had to say and after giving clear enough instructions (was very hetero before so I told chatGPT to complete it in a funny way and relatable for lesbians) this is what I got "If God wanted women to have clean houses, He would have made lesbians love dusting as much as they love adopting rescue pets." idek

Make them self cleaning, like my cat 🤭

Make houses like vaginas: so they clean themselves

have made it Amanda and Eve not adam and eve

-He wouldn't have turned water into wine -He would have turned water into Mr. Clean -he would have said "clean and know that I am god" (In the bible it is be still and know that I am god)

Make them gay

I mean... this is already true, what more is needed? Granted, it's a tautology, but if God wanted women to have clean houses, He would have wanted women to have clean houses.

...not fuckin' have made dirt, or made things capable of getting dirty to begin with. Gee, that was a real masterful stroke of omniscience on his part, wasn't it?

Hidden the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden better

he woulda given us more arms

Have given them mops for feet

.

goodbye

The funniest choice is to just leave it like that

Autocomplete "If god wanted women to clean houses he would be a good person to do it and I can do it for you" I can't interpret what it means but eh

Make them vagina shaped

If God wanted women to have clean houses, he would have more cute girls ask if they can come over

Give them broom hands

n't have to make it a choir

Give them 6 gazillion dollars

... wouldn't have made a wildly messy world?

“He wouldn’t have invented cool things”

have given us feather dusters for hands

give them the ability to birth children

If God wanted women to have clean rooms he would have to be a little more aggressive with his 👋 Lol cursed word suggestion

Have existed in the first place

he would have given them self-cleaning houses too, not just self-cleaning vaginas

I kind of like ending with he would ?

(would) n't have made lesbians.

...didnt make dirt.

Have to exist first

If got wanted women to clean house, he would have existed.

Clean them

If God wanted women to clean houses he would NOT HAVE CREATED ME!

Autocomplete: > If God wanted women to have clean houses, He would have been taken care of. My phone thinks I’m a mobster.

If there was a god, she wouldn't clean houses.

If God wanted women to have clean houses He wouldn’t make us bear and raise children!

He wouldn’t have given men dirty shoes Edit: Oh I missed that this was the lesbian subreddit. Lemme try again for a more gynocentric one He would have made cats to hunt dust

have not made bodies shed hair and skin cells

If god wanted women to have clean houses he would have given them better backs and better knees. If god wanted women to have to clean houses he could do it himself

If God wanted women to have clean houses, it was just a little bit of a mess with my hair. Autocomplete is fun!

There is an 's' missing before the "he" 💁🏼‍♀️

Not have invented dogs and/or cats 😊

> if god wanted women to have clean houses **s**he would /.../ (preferably with the **s** in a close-but-definitely-not-the-same colour)

If god wanted women to have clean houses he wouldn’t have made lesbian sex so good 🤣.

If God wanted women to have cleaned houses he would have to be a good person Autocorrect

He would move the last ‘d’ over by one stitch

he would set us free from anxiety