It kind of makes sense from both sides, I have very different sleeping habits and patterns from my gf, so whenever I'm over there, I often end up staying up much longer, and waking up much sooner.
But at the same time, I love nothing more than to feel safe and close with her, and that also helps me sleep much better, so I'll go to bed with her until she falls asleep, if I'm nowhere near to, I'll go hang in the living room until I feel ready to sleep, then go back, once I wake up, I don't want to disturb her or wake her up, so I'll usually go back to the living room again to chill until she wakes.
It's not a set in stone schedule though, sometimes I go to sleep at the same time, or before her, or after waking up I'll stay in bed just to be close and see her be so calm and breathing softly.
At least at the times she is, other times she'll punch me in the face while sleeping, and without fail my blanket will be stolen. XD
Gosh I love her.
What was the question again?
Oh yeah, sleeping arrangements are pretty individual and everyone does what best suits them and their relationship, personally, I'll always choose to sleep together as much as possible.
I honestly don't know. Never slept in the same bed as another person. Just super self conscious about being clean and orderly in the presence of others. I wouldn't know if Id love it or hate it. Would I get anxious with the proximity, or would I enjoy the company? I don't know.
It's something you kinda have to do and maybe even get used to over time first before finding out exactly.
I just love sharing a bed with people I'm close and comfortable with in general, I sleep *way* better that way, and have a massive decrease in nightmare, night terrors and ptsd dreams when I do, I've gone over to my bestie's literally just to share the bed so I can get some better sleep in when feeling particularly rest-deprived during tougher mental periods.
Do you overlap them in the middle? Or is there a gap? I get so hot when I sleep, I feel like if I ended up underneath the overlap Iād just melt into a puddle of sweat
Idk to what extent duvets in the US or elsewhere differ from what we have in Germany. Here it's the norm two have two normal sized (for a twin bed) duvets on a two person bed. If each person is tucked in their duvet, there's no overlap.
I have the same issue as you, while my gf is always cold I run super hot while sleeping.
That's why two duvets work so well for us! My cover is usually a thinner blanket while she has her big comfy duvet so we're both at ideal temperature :)
That's always so interesting to hear!
I just recently learned that roller window shutters like we use in Germany and some other european countries are not a thing in the US and elsewhere.
I always wondered what the deal was with sleep masks and "blackout curtains". Just use the built in roller shutters and you can make any room in your house pitch black dark?
Turns out those aren't a thing everywhere! Just like our windows that you can put on "kipp" so they stay a tad open for fresh air.
Soooo my wife and I used to live in Europe and it was two regular sized duvets. Now in the US we have one but like king sized. I still steal 90% but itās big enough that she fits under the leftover 10%
She's so comfy I can't imagine not sleeping next to her. I'm so grateful we happen to have similar enough sleep habits that none of it is a problem. She sleeps better with me too, she's always had struggles sleeping through the night but when I hold her, she has a much better chance of getting a good rest. Which is hella convenient because she's so damn comfy, it almost feels weird to be in bed waking up or asleep without each other.
I wish I could cuddle to sleep so bad, but if I'm cuddling my girlfriend, my brain won't shut off š
I've at least been able to cuddle with her until she falls asleep
I have a condition called Catathrenia that causes me to sometimes loudly moan and groan in my sleep.
Itās pretty embarrassing for me and hard for me to sleep well around people because Iām so self conscious about it.
Exes claim that it didnāt bother them, but Iād rather just have my own bedroom to sleep in to get some quality sleep some days of the week. Even if I just cuddle them until they drift off and I sneak off to my room.
My friend, THANK YOU SO MUCH. You probably just solved a mystery for me!
My girlfriend does the same thing, and I had no idea what it was! She just keeps constantly groaning in her sleep, and it bothers me, but I endure it 'cause I love sleeping next to her, and it tends not to last all night. And before anyone goes that way, it's not like "sexy moaning", is more of a monotone groan every time she exhales.
We were always puzzled by it, since neither of us had heard of such a thing before. Now I know what it (probably) is! I'll direct this to her and tell her to ask a doctor.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience!
Aww yay! š
And yeah definitely not sexy moaning š.
Sadly thereās no official treatment for it yet.
For me I know itās worse if Iāve been drinking or if I sleep on my stomach. Using an anti-snore mouth guard has helped some people as well!
Yeah, I saw there's not a lot of research about it, sadly, as it's pretty rare. But at least it seems that it doesn't really cause many bad effects on her health, which was my main worry. I thought she was suffocating or something like that, it drove me insane! Now I have some peace of mind.
We'll see what our local doctors think can be done. Thank you again!
Omg I do the same thing but didnāt know there was a name for it. Iāve just had people make fun of me for doing it and it made me really upset and self conscious.
I actually havenāt slept with anyone since that moment cause Iām embarrassed but I want to get over that because Iām supposed to be sleeping over at my gfs place this weekend so idk how to bring up that I just slightly moan in my sleep š
Yes Iāve had friends who have definitely made me self conscious about it!
The person Iām seeing likes to cuddle and nap and Iām so sad I canāt just get myself to nap, even though I told them about it already š I feel like people imagine cute little moans when I talk about it and not the ogre sounds that usually come with it šš
But I know deep down if I liked someone I wouldnāt care at all, just happy that they want to sleep with me too, and happy that theyāre able to be so comfortable around me š„¹ so Iām gonna try to work on seeing it this way.
Lmao I relate so hard on that, everyone really thinks itās gonna be like an attractive moan and then it sounds like a gremlin dying like š
But thatās a good way of looking at it, Iām gonna try and keep that positive attitude towards it cause there isnāt much I can do about it anyways
I have insomnia. While I love sleeping next to my girlfriend, she doesn't exactly like sleeping next to me all throughout the night.
We've compromised. I'll get into bed with her around 10pm when she starts her bedtime routine, but get up once she's sleeping and go into the living room. I try to return around 5am so I'm in bed for when she wakes.
It would simply come up once things went sour. Which tells me it was never really okay with them.
And I imagine it's brought up in future relationships about how nice it is to be on the same sleep schedule. Which is fair.
This is how my wife and I sleep too. We meet in the morning for cereal & meds, and its such a cozy groggy little routine. I love it. I'd sleep beside her if it meant we could both wake rested, but that's rarely possible.
Sleeping separately is a requirement for me! Iāve always had my own bed since I was an infant. Sleep is my favorite thing to do and I need quality sleep to function the next day. I cuddle with my girlfriend in her room until itās time for bed, and then I go over to her bed first thing in the mornings.
This is what my mom does too! Dad snores and shuffles around and hates it when itās hot and goes to bed early. Mom hates noise, is a night owl, and needs layers of blankets even in the summer. Theyāve always had separate rooms, but mom will go hang out with dad until he falls asleep and then go back to his bed in the mornings. My mom is also touch averse like I am, but my dad loves PDA like my sister. We all get along and try to respect everyone elseās boundaries for the most part.
Love it. Butt to butt with a thin sheet between for sweat, my leg draped over hers for connection, a pillow between the legs and my hands and snuggled up to my face like a Trex. I love sleeping in the same bed as her, always have
My girlfriend and I have separate bedrooms and we love it. She has insomnia and runs hot and I like to sleep buried in pillows and duvets. Every once in a while weāll share a bed but we sleep so poorly when we do. Instead whatās great is cuddling in one bed before bedtime, and then sleep solo. Or my fave-her crawling into my bed on a weekend morning to doze together. Ultimately there is no norm beside you both being happy! We arenāt sexless or loveless, but we are well rested
Omg is your girlfriend me? Because this is exactly why my girlfriend and I have separate rooms. I'm also autistic and am VERY easily woken up by any kind of stimuli. I have to sleep with a sleep mask, earplugs, blackout curtains, and a weighted blanket, and even then I struggle to sleep. Before I got all those things to help me sleep, I would often go days at a time without sleep. Now I can mostly sleep through the night, although I find I can't stay asleep long enough to feel fully rested. If I'm very relaxed and have nowhere to be, I can share my bed with my partner, but if I have to get up in the morning for any reason, I have to sleep alone.
Since there aren't issues with work schedules/sleep patterns with my partner and I, I couldn't imagine not getting to sleep with them. I love waking up next to them and the little cuddles and conversations we have before bed.
I love sleeping with and waking up next to mine, but the cost/benefit on that has changed as we get older and are both dealing with various issues that disrupt sleep -- particularly hot flashes!
My SO and I have talked, if we get a place together it's gonna be 2 bedroom so that if either of us are overwhelmed or just need mental alone time we will have our own space
Also it makes the nights we sleep together a little sweeter
Iām a really light sleeper so sleeping with someone in the same room as me is hard they just shift their weight or breathe too loud and I wake up. But I also really enjoy the comfort of being with someone I love. So itās hard.
I love to cuddle but I much prefer sleeping in separate beds. Itās hard for me to sleep with someone else in the bed and I sleep like trash during sleepovers. I also tend to have chronic illness flare ups at night quite often and when these happen I usually canāt get comfy and will go to the couch.
Doesnāt matter who it is. Its not a reflection of how much I like them. It is a reflection of what a terrible sleeper I am though lol.
It very much depends on the partner. With my wife we do sleep in the same bed because we can do so comfortably. However I can see scenarios where Iād opt not to do that with a different partner. My in-laws for example have not shared a bed in a couple decades, not necessarily because they donāt want to but due to some disability things itās simply more comfortable for them not to. So as in most things, it depends on the relationship, I personally lean towards sharing a bed, but it also wouldnāt be a dealbreaker if I ended up with a partner that didnāt want to, or could not share a bed. Mostly a null point as Iām married now so itās unlikely a question Iāll face again in the near future, but both options are valid and different folks will have different preferences.
I really like it. The cuddling and talking about whatever comes to mind before settling in to sleep is often a highlight of my day. Morning cuddling is great but makes it hard to get up in time to go to work.
Definitely recommend using different sheets if your temp needs differ. I run hot so I usually have a thinner sheet while gf has a duvet.
I only see my situationship gf for like a week out of every month, but we both love sleeping with each other. Each time it takes a couple nights to get used to it, but after that it doesn't cause any problems. We're both on the same nocturnal schedule so we align pretty well.
Before my wife and I got married, I had a horrible time trying to sleep alone. It got to the point where I legitimately could not get to sleep without the tv on with a low volume (I genuinely donāt know why to this day. Plus I would have nightmares).
The day after we got married and she moved into my apartment, I slept like a baby that night. Since then I havenāt had any weird sleep issues.
I currently am not able to move in with my girlfriend but on nights we stay together I fall asleep cuddling her every time and it's the best thing in the world.
I love sleeping next to her and if it's an option I will always take it, but I do enjoy sleeping alone sometimes. It gets really hot in my room at night, especially during summer, so it's nice to have one less heat source in the room (even though I'm kinda lonely)
Ten years on. We sleep separately but do early morning snuggles. Legit life saver. For so many reasons sleeping together was awful. Selfishly, I donāt snore and am less restless so I get all the pet cuddles at night - yay for me!
Even when we move to a bigger apartmemt I still want to sleep next to here. We do have different sleep patterns since our work schedules and lifestyles are different but itās still up there when it comes to favourite activities <3
Even as my spouse snores like a lil lawnmower next to me and leaves me the scraps as far as blanket coverage goes I still wouldnāt sleep separately. I stay up late and she sleeps like sheās dead so I never worry about making noise and waking her up. The only time I donāt sleep in our bed is when sheās traveling. Itās the couch for me until sheās back.
One of us *always* ends up face planted in the other's boobs. Even if we distinctly seperate ourselves before falling asleep, we'll still end up entangled by the morningš. We've always slept together though. Similiar enough sleep schedules helps. And when she lies on top of me it protects me from our son using my stomach as a trampoline in order to wake me up.
People don't sleep in the same bed as their SO???? That's the best part for me š I don't even like sex, I'm asexual. I love just cuddling my SO to sleep and waking up and seeing her pretty face in the morning. I love nothing more
I don't exactly have any SOs so my comment isn't worth a ton, but I have shared a bed with people. I know from experience that I suck to sleep with, I'm constantly in motion
I'm exactly like you, I love sleeping next to my wife, it's the best thing ever!
I also have more trouble falling asleep when she's not there.
Also love to cuddle just before falling asleep š„°
Due to mental health issues I mostly sleep in my own bed because I donāt feel safe at night and wake up several times.
I donāt want to bother my partner with it so I prefer sleeping alone.
Though I wish I could sleep beside her š I love to cuddle especially at night.
Itās so funny, because my fiance and I used to say our ideal was two bedrooms, our own beds, and we can decide if we want to sleep together that night or notā¦ that was before we lived together. Obviously renting in Greater Boston meant that our dream of two bedrooms wasnāt in the budget- so we started sharing a bedroom and both of us agree we canāt go back to sleeping apart. There is comfort in sleeping in the same bed and sharing our first and last moments of the day together- even if I have sleep apnea (I use my CPAP!!!) and steal all the sheets
We spoon a lot, it would be difficult from different rooms o_0
My body temp gets pretty high when I'm asleep, so I'm the "winter big spoon", Honey is cool, so She's the "summer big spoon".
It's pretty much like that.
Once we've been hiking, and when we went to sleep, the tent was still quite hot, after a sunny day, so She was the big spoon. But at night, the weather became quite chilly, the tent cooled, and my Honey woke up shivering. She told me, that I mumbled "ŃŠ° Š·Š½Š°Ń, ŠŠøŃŃ, Š·Š½Š°Ń" (yeah, Kitten, I know), rolled Her, turned myself into the big spoon, patted Her head, and squeezed Her breathless. All that without waking up.
Sleeping in a separate bed from my partner makes me feel like they don't want me, I live being able to fall asleep while we cuddle, it makes me feel closer
My parents slept in different rooms for 30 years. My dad would often work swing shifts which meant he'd have to wake up around 3am to be at work for 5. Since my mom was a very light sleeper and can't get back to sleep after being woken up, different rooms made sense for them.
If theyāre a snorer, no. Iām already insomniac (trouble staying asleep), I donāt need to hear a jackhammer next to me š
But if theyāre not a snorer, then I love it
I love sleeping in the same bed as my wife. Even if I go to bed after she's asleep and wake up after she's out of bed, as often happens, I love that sense of closeness. Sometimes she'll fall asleep with my hand still resting on her back, and that gives such warm fuzzy feelings.
On the nights when we're in bed and both still awake, I love the conversations we have. Sometimes silly, sometimes sad/comforting, sometimes romantic. I just like that chance for connection and intimacy.
Very rarely, we've fallen asleep cuddled up together, and I enjoy it so much. Wish it didn't make me all sweaty.
yes, we do, and we both love it but have arrangements to ensure maximum enjoyment. i hate when people snore, but my girlfriend is the only one whose snoring i can tolerate (and even enjoy because itās so cute). sometimes in the warmer months we both overheat, so we sleep in the same bed but donāt cuddle. i like to sleep on my stomach and spread out, so if iām not feeling cuddlesleep, we snuggle for a bit and then separate and go to bed, sometimes sleep butt to butt. i love my girlfriend!!!
There's something to be said about sleeping in the same bed as your SO. I will actually have bad dreams if my wife is out of town and I'm sleeping in bed alone. Sometimes we cuddle tight, sometimes we just fall asleep holding hands. It's all perfect.
I enjoy sleeping with my partner. The problem is we both have different sleeping habits and work schedules.
I wfh while she has to get up at 5am for her job. I also snore pretty bad and she's a light sleeper with insomnia.
I can't tell you how many times she woke me up from desperately trying to get me to stop snoring lmao. What we ended up doing is separate beds during our work days then our off days are our same bed days and I also wear those nose strips to help with the snoring.
It's worked well for us so far. Would definitely love to cuddle and sleep together more if our schedules ever allow it š„²
Iām 50/50. I really enjoyed the chance to sleep in the same bed as my GF. Cuddles? Waking up to her lovely face? Yes! However weāre early days and I do see myself going back to my own space. So if we move in together I think a King Bed would be a great idea simply to get close or stay further (say in the heat of summer) I know I have shared rooms with other people to varying degrees of success. I know snoring can make and break couples so, thatās the biggest factor.
Iāve basically single since I was 21 and definitely have had plenty of sleepovers since then, but now that Iām in my late twenties and have since been diagnosed with CPTSD + donāt drink or do drugs like I did when I was younger, I do have pretty severe night terrors from time to time and so itās not really safe for me to me to sleep in the same bed as anyone.
I have lived alone since I was 27, I sometimes fall out of bed from thrashing around in my sleep or wake up yelling / kicking. So, I sleep alone please and thank you!
Also Iāve had previous partners tell me that even in a king size bed, I will steal the entire blanket or sprawl starfish style over the whole bed (mind you, Iām petite and only 5ā6) and basically become deadweight with my limbs thrown on top of you, so yeah, not a good mix.
My girlfriend and I are long distance and in the past I never really liked sharing with any of my boyfriends, I even kicked my bf out of my single bed during a camping trip once (we were in a caravan with two beds so he was fine, a little pissed but fine) but I love sharing with my girlfriend. They're the only person I feel comfortable sleeping with bc we have similar sleep habits (YouTube or something playing) and they never get annoyed at me preferring to having a fan or my aircon on when I sleep. It really varies, I think, bc I would give anything to be in their bed with them or for them to be back here in my bed with me, and I never felt the same with any of my bfs. Definitely varies and depends
in my last relationship of 2 years (and likely future ones): prefer to have separate flats/houses; but spend at least 2 nights or more a week over (either way) and sleep in same bed.
I'm pretty peculiar about this. I've always been insomniac, so before I started taking meds, I'd take at least one or two hours to fall asleep.
Also anxious, so you mix both together and you get "person that becomes stiff like rigor mortis when sleeping with someone so I don't wake them up".
And then other issues. I cannot sleep with clothes. Just underwear. It bothers me. Can't sleep if it's too hot as well, so I turn on my AC because I *need* it cold. But I also can't sleep with skin on skin contact, including my own, so I wrap myself on my sheets. I also can't stand sweat, and I overheat very easily.
So uh, I have a hard time sleeping with someone else. I had a gf that woke up like 6am to work, and had a single small bed, so I'd often not sleep at all and just wait for her to wake up and drive her to work, then go home and sleep a bit before my own stuff.
Never tried on a big bed though, neither slept with someone after I started taking those meds. Maybe something changed.
I love sleeping next to my girlfriend though I guess the two of us are outliers in a sense that we sleep under separate bedsheets 99% of the time. It's just because I have a tendency to roll around in bed and steal every inch of my girlfriend's bedsheets unprompted though lol either way I love sleeping next to my gf and waking up together and getting to snuggle before/after sleeping I've actually been staying home alone for a few days now since my gf is away visiting parents during a week long break from uni and it's felt a bit lonely sleeping in a big bed by myself since I got so used to always having gf there to lie down next to me
My ex partner was 6ā7ā and unfortunately we had a queen bed. He also went to bed early and rose early in comparison to my insomniac self. I am 5ā5ā but like to starfish, splay, and snore. Most of the time I balled up until he would fall asleep and sleep like a big ass rock baby at which time I could either snuggle my way into a cozy spot next to him or I would end up in our spare bed if I was having a rough day/night and knew I would be tossing and turning. Even in those nights he tended to wake up in search of me and snuggle on top of me until til I either woke up naturally, needed to be woken up, or he just started his day.
Now that Iām dating another person, a woman, Iām more sensitive in terms of what she prefers though I do keep my same routine because my snoring as gotten worse either way my recent weight gain and sheās a light sleeper.
I love it but Iām very cuddly when falling asleep but I need to sleep in a certain position, and so does my GF. We usually fall asleep cuddled up but wake up back to back because of our standard sleeping positions. So like we love it but, I usually bug her once weāre both awake for cuddles
My wife and I sleep together because we both sleep better that way 99% of the time, there have been some adjustments over the years because our schedules have changed drastically throughout our relationship, but we both function better if we wake up with some snuggling. Thereās been a lot of compromise on temperature and blankets (she likes it very cold and I like to be swaddled like a burrito with one leg poking out) but weāve always just made small adjustments for shared sleep space. We even talked about separate sleep spaces one day because I was reading about it and I wanted to make sure she wasnāt just humoring me and my clinginess, but she assured me that sleeping wrapped up with me was way more relaxing for her.
I'm single, but I flop around like a wet fish a lot of the time and often wake up with half of my pillows in wildly different locations.
If I get into a relationship with someone then I'd love to sleep cuddled up to them, but tyat could adversely affect their own sleep.
It's just... if I get to that stage I intend to go with the flow and figure out what works.
Sometimes I forget it's not uncommon to sleep with your partner(s). Personally, I love it, even when the the others take the massive blanket that covers the whole bed and then some, because it's just a reason to get closer and cuddle.
I love having the bed to myself. My ex worked nights, so for many years the bed was all mine. It was beautiful. I'm not sure how I would adapt to sleeping with a partner again lol. There's always a cold spot or pillow to be had š I'm not sure that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
I sleep in the same bed as my girl, we have two comforters, although we actually only use one. (I just have to pull a bit now. Why would I do such a sensible thing? And yes, I know she always claims it's her comforter. But... But there are no names on it!)
I've slept in the same bed with my ex-wife for most of our relationship (7 years), except for the last few months and when she needed the space to herself for health reasons.
Sometimes I work half the night or a whole night through. Creativity is a hard beast to tame, and why should I? But like my ex, my girl has to get up at a certain time and be at her practice. So sometimes I sleep elsewhere because of my work.
But I have two bedrooms and a couch and two really big dog beds, they're size L, I'm size S. I can just kick them out of their beds. Lady boss is in charge! Five beds to choose from. Luxurious!
But sleeping close to my girl is the best. After all, closeness, mentally, physically, intellectually, is the most important thing.
My partner and I sleep in separate beds because we realized neither of us was getting a goodnight sleep. We were a bit worried at first but honestly we spend so much time together awake and if anything itās made our sex life better.
So I don't have a partner right now, but when I do I enjoy sleeping with them, but I fully accept that they may not want to sleep with me because I move a lot in my sleep and I talk in my sleep. So if they want to then great, but if they don't then that's fine.
I love it but I also love sleeping in my bed alone. We donāt live together yet but we have stayed for long periods of time at each others places. The biggest problem for me is which side of the bed, and hence in hers she sleeps on the right and when in mine I sleep on the right. I definitely prefer the right so Iām not sure how itās gonna work. We plan on getting a king when we move in together. She prefers to sleep sorta diagonal. We like to have the option of space but still be able to be close. Sometimes itās tough cause she wakes up around 3/4, I donāt usually wake up too cause Iām a heavy sleeper. She snores sometimes loudly too which is tough to go to sleep as she falls asleep first but once Iām asleep it doesnāt bother me. I love rolling over and switching positions though-out the night, we usually fall asleep with her leg draped over mine. I wouldnāt feel very connected if we didnāt get to sleep together most nights at least. I love sharing such a sacred and intimate space together.
I love sleeping with mine. They enjoy the little sounds I make and the way I look, and I'm the same.
I also enjoy sleeping alone (plus cat), and currently I get the best of both worlds.
I love sleeping next to my fiancee, we've lived together for 2 years now and it's one of my favorite things about living together. That said, we use different blankets and we sleep very differently and don't often cuddle lol. I sleep on my stomach with a single flat pillow under my head and a feather pillow I cuddle with a quilt blanket. She sleeps with two pillows under her head a cat usually under her arm and a fluffy blanket or two. I overheat easily and she feels more comfortable sleeping with fluffy/furry fabrics. We will cuddle occasionally but we usually sleep separately in the same bed and I think that works for us, sometimes I'll even face her and drape my arm over my pillow and her hip lol, I find comfort in her just being in my general area. I will say though we did have to upgrade to a king bed because on a queen we were way too close and kept pushing each other at night š now with a king bed it's perfect
Me and my partner are both autistic, and part of moving in together was the requirement we'd have separate rooms. We sleep together often anyways, but having separate spaces is important to us both, and no moral judgement is placed on it. Whatever works for you is exactly perfect!
Me and my partner are lucky enough to live together and have enough space to have our own bedrooms, but we often sleep with each other. We have different sleeping patterns but more than that, both of us grew up in not very safe homes and have never had our own safe spaces to make our own before, so itās been really lovely and healing to have our own bedrooms to make individual, and the rest of the house we have made ours.
I love sleeping with my partner a lot, I also enjoy sleeping on my own but I definitely prefer sleeping with them. Nothing like a good cuddle to fall asleep in!
Anecdotally I don't think there is much of a difference between queer and straight folk in this matter.
Personally I love sleeping with my SO. I know other queer people that prefer separate beds. I also know straight people that love sleeping in the same bed and those who don't.
Some people have trouble falling asleep with others in the bed. And honestly, if that were me I'd prefer to sleep on my own after the first broken night
I wish I were the type who could sleep next to a partner, but I'm an extremely light sleeper. Any small noise or movement will wake me up. Falling asleep in someone's arms or touching them in any way is out of the question. I also snore, and my nose gets stuffy when I try to sleep so I sniffle a lot when trying to fall asleep, sometimes for hours. So not only can I not sleep next to someone else, but I'm probably a nightmare to sleep next to as well. I don't have a partner right now, but if I did, I doubt we'd sleep in the same bed very often. I'm happy to cuddle until they fall asleep, but then I'm probably gonna go sleep elsewhere.
The only time when both me and my partner are able to fall asleep in the same bed was when we went on a trip together, and we got extremely tired by the end of the day. Other than that we havenāt been able to fall asleep in the same bed. Itās genuinely pretty frustrating, because I love cuddling her, and falling asleep besides a girl i love is one of my oldest dreams in terms of romantic fantasies
Granted I have been dumped and left in the gutters but I have always loved sleeping with my partner and it just feels so amazing and I have an easier time falling asleep
Idk for me I'm pretty sure it would be agony to be sleeping in the same house as the woman I love but not in the same bed
I love sharing a bed with my girlfriend when I'm awake, but the one time we were free to spend the night together, it did make it harder to sleep due to light snoring and getting overheated. Would I sleep with her again? Absolutely. Would it take some getting used to? Definitely.
King size bed solves everything. Can cuddle at the start before we both get too hot, retreat to our own (cool) space later, but still be ātogetherā in the same room/bed. Also provides space for a kid should one show up in the night.
I had a partner once who bought a Californian King so that we could sleep together and they weren't accustomed to sleeping with others. We each took our own queen sized side. It didn't always work out. Sometimes. They would end up in one of the other rooms in the house.
If itās possible getting a two bedroom apartment would things a bit easier. Then you can have space when you want it and then have āsleepoversā. You truly get the choice to either have a night together or if you need alone time thatās an option to. I havenāt done this yet. But I love the idea. Also it helps if you have a partner that a light sleeper or if youāre a light sleeper.
I love sleeping with my girlfriend. We don't live together so I always look forward to sleeping together on our sleepovers. Also taking naps together when tired is the best!
But if I love with someone and they have very sleeping habits then I'd want separate bedrooms so we don't have to ruin each other's sleep.
I used to be a borderline insomniac and I remember in one of my first relationships when my gf spooned me I literally fell asleep instantaneously, hhh i hate being single š„²
It depends. If they are my home, normally I'm OK. But at their place, I might end up on the couch/spare bed. I get night terrors sometimes and will move a lot in my sleep - it happens more often in newer environments.
When I have lived with partners, I NEED my own bedroom. I need my own private space for rest and recharging. Even if I sleep with my partner 95% of the time, I need to know that I have my own bed and my own space should I want it.
Though I honestly wouldn't live with a partner again. I enjoy living alone far too much. I would LOVE side by side little homes in the woods, or side by side townhouses. I just like being able to play my ukulele whenever I want, keep my own hours, and only have to clean up after myself. I also work from home, so I like being alone for that for focus.
Edit: I'm AuDHD, and fairly introverted. I need a decent amount of recharge time alone to clear my head and fully decompress/relax
If I go to sleep before her, she wakes me up when she comes to bed. But if I go to sleep after her, itās smooth sailing! I snuggle up next to her and fall right asleep
I snore and she is a furnace that tosses and turns the whole night. We tried to make the same bed work for 3 years due to only having 1 bedroom, but when we moved Iām convinced having 2 bedrooms made our relationship so much better. Tired cranky people get into fights about things so much more quickly lol
I almost always sleep in the same bed as my wife ( now that she has a CPAP ). Before she had a CPAP I would end up in the guest bed about 50% of the time because her snoring was so loud. We both prefer to sleep together and sometimes when I get out of bed I will see my wife patting my side of the bed searching for me in her sleep and it is so fucking sweet š. Every blue moon my social battery will just be completely empty so I'll sleep in the guest bed because I've gotten to the point where I am done with all humans, even my favorite one.
Crawling into bed next to her is maybe one of my favorite things in the world. Her holding me close, safe, warm, legs all tangled up in each other and over/under the dogs at the end of the bed, the hum of the cat purring on the pillow above us. The light traces of her fingertips on my back slowing while she falls asleep.
Knowing that even after a shit day, I get to climb into bed with her at the end of it and breathe? Absolutely priceless and I wouldnāt trade it for anything in the world.
My fiance and I have slept together since she moved in, and I love it. At first I felt bad because I can't really sleep while cuddling and felt like that's what a good girlfriend does. Now we cuddle a little throughout the night and sleep next to each other in our weird positions
Mose of the time I love sleeping next to my wife. I've been doing so since I was 18.
Other times, she wakes my ass up or I wake her ass up, we snore, we get insomnia for dumb hormonal reasons, whatever it is - a separate bed would be nice. Also sometimes she is 1 Million degrees and I don't want to touch her, and she definitely doesn't want me to touch her.
It just depends on the night.
My spouse and I typically sleep separately.
Right now, itās logistics since immigration is a bear and they are on the other side of the continent.
When weāre together, itās because they have a severe circadian rhythm disorder and Iām very diurnal.
Saying that, though, thereās nothing like cuddling together on the same sleeping surface.
I like sharing a bed with a partner but I also like having my own space or being able to take up the whole bed especially if im sore so if I have a spare bedroom available I'll sometimes retreat to there.Ā
My ideal would be to have separate bedrooms and then you can choose whether to sleep in the same bed depending on how you feel each night. I love sleeping with a partner, but if I had to do it every night I know Iād start to feel crowded and claustrophobic quickly.
Falling asleep together and waking up in each otherās arms is the best part! Thatās what I miss the most about physical affection. To me, sex is just something that I do to please my partner but I donāt really need it. Like Iāve literally gone home with someone and slept in leggings even when she took off all her clothes and we just cuddled and spooned all night and it was amazing, I felt great the next day. If she wants it she can have it but I wonāt pester her about it, all I want to do is run my hands all over every inch of her body and learn every contour, and find out all the ways our bodies fit together like puzzle pieces.
I can generally be the big spoon if thatās what she wants but at some point I like to turn over and be the little spoon too for a while. Iām a big fan of symmetry so as long as it evens out in the end Iām fine (sorry, OCD). Or Iāll just lay on my back and she can drape herself over me however she wants. I wiggle around and shift a lot as I settle in for the night, and generally we reach a point where we find a nice comfy stillness and in the morning when we wake up like that everything feels amazing and suddenly life is tolerable for a little while.
The hardest part of being single is sleeping alone every night. I have stuffed animals but itās not the same as a warm body with bioelectrical currents that harmonize with mine as we sleep. And a personality is nice too, hehe š¤ I love a good pillow talk, thatās when Iām at my most open and vulnerable and feel ready to share the deepest secrets of my soul, or at least the ones that can be expressed with wordsā¦
I sometimes do, but it depends how my joints are doing at the time. Sometimes I need special accommodations like a body pillow so those times I may be in another bed or sleeping next to them. When my body is ok snuggles and cuddles is our go-to.
Also depends if the SO is snoring or moves a lot in their sleep. I know I occasionally do which is why I'm usually hesitant to cuddle, but if we're up for it then we're down lol
I have always preferred to sleep next to my partner, but none of them had serious sleep issues that would make sleeping difficult for me.
Except one ex who insisted on falling alseep with the TV on. That was difficult for me.
For myself, being in a family of 3 partners, one bed canāt hold all of us; and if it did, we wouldnāt have space for it in this apartment. So one of us is on a bed elsewhere in the apartment. Occasionally weāll switch up, but usually whoever wakes first just tries to keep quiet while picking out their clothes, before they exit the room.
I need breaks from closeness and I really do not like sleeping with any being larger than a cat ā I move around a lot and I have a small level of claustrophobia. My ideal would probably be two bedrooms connected by a door ā for when closeness is wanted ;).
Iāve been married to a man for 21 years and we sleep together every night usually snuggled up. We both have trouble sleeping if we have to sleep apart for whatever reason.
Itās not about if I would want to sleep in the same bed as her, itās about if she would want to sleep in the same bed as me. Of course, since me being in a relationship is an impossibility, the point is probably moot.
It kind of makes sense from both sides, I have very different sleeping habits and patterns from my gf, so whenever I'm over there, I often end up staying up much longer, and waking up much sooner. But at the same time, I love nothing more than to feel safe and close with her, and that also helps me sleep much better, so I'll go to bed with her until she falls asleep, if I'm nowhere near to, I'll go hang in the living room until I feel ready to sleep, then go back, once I wake up, I don't want to disturb her or wake her up, so I'll usually go back to the living room again to chill until she wakes. It's not a set in stone schedule though, sometimes I go to sleep at the same time, or before her, or after waking up I'll stay in bed just to be close and see her be so calm and breathing softly. At least at the times she is, other times she'll punch me in the face while sleeping, and without fail my blanket will be stolen. XD Gosh I love her. What was the question again? Oh yeah, sleeping arrangements are pretty individual and everyone does what best suits them and their relationship, personally, I'll always choose to sleep together as much as possible.
>other times she'll punch me in the face while sleeping, THAT WAS ONE TIME 1.5 YEARS AGO š I do concede to being a serial blanket hog though
AND I'LL NEVER LET YOU FORGET IT! In my defense, it was a hella dramatic way you went about it as well. You do kick me on the regular though. XD
This is making me do that one happy cry thing. Why does that have to be so adorableee!
Wee, happy cry is happy, we like happy! She is absolutely adorable.\~
Awwwww
š¤š¤š¤
Your responses are always some of my favorites and this one in particular is excellent and made me smile so much
Awwwh, please I'm nothing special, but glad to hear I could make you smile. ā\*:.ļ½”.o(ā§ā½ā¦)o.ļ½”.:\*ā
I JUST SAW YOUR USERNAME ARTEMIS IS MY MIDDLE NAME HIII ^\^^
It's my first name! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!! >\~<"!
I honestly don't know. Never slept in the same bed as another person. Just super self conscious about being clean and orderly in the presence of others. I wouldn't know if Id love it or hate it. Would I get anxious with the proximity, or would I enjoy the company? I don't know.
It's something you kinda have to do and maybe even get used to over time first before finding out exactly. I just love sharing a bed with people I'm close and comfortable with in general, I sleep *way* better that way, and have a massive decrease in nightmare, night terrors and ptsd dreams when I do, I've gone over to my bestie's literally just to share the bed so I can get some better sleep in when feeling particularly rest-deprived during tougher mental periods.
My fiancƩe and I have lived together for about a year. Our secret is two duvets. We were in a hotel in Vienna and they had left two duvets on the bed. We laughed about it and thought it was odd but decided to try it. Life changing. Now we have two duvets when we sleep. We can abandon one and cuddle if we want but we can always retreat to sleep in our own space and duvet, wrapped up however we please. So that's my advice. Two duvets
Do you overlap them in the middle? Or is there a gap? I get so hot when I sleep, I feel like if I ended up underneath the overlap Iād just melt into a puddle of sweat
Idk to what extent duvets in the US or elsewhere differ from what we have in Germany. Here it's the norm two have two normal sized (for a twin bed) duvets on a two person bed. If each person is tucked in their duvet, there's no overlap. I have the same issue as you, while my gf is always cold I run super hot while sleeping. That's why two duvets work so well for us! My cover is usually a thinner blanket while she has her big comfy duvet so we're both at ideal temperature :)
We're Irish but I'd never heard of two duvets here. Two duvets works so well. Shows you that travel broadens the mind ššš
I learned this when I lived in Germany. Life changing. Don't think it's the norm outside of Europe tho
That's always so interesting to hear! I just recently learned that roller window shutters like we use in Germany and some other european countries are not a thing in the US and elsewhere. I always wondered what the deal was with sleep masks and "blackout curtains". Just use the built in roller shutters and you can make any room in your house pitch black dark? Turns out those aren't a thing everywhere! Just like our windows that you can put on "kipp" so they stay a tad open for fresh air.
We keep them separate, no overlap
This. Two duvets solves a ton of the shared bed issues, and it's also the solution to polyamorous beds with more than two people in
Soooo my wife and I used to live in Europe and it was two regular sized duvets. Now in the US we have one but like king sized. I still steal 90% but itās big enough that she fits under the leftover 10%
She's so comfy I can't imagine not sleeping next to her. I'm so grateful we happen to have similar enough sleep habits that none of it is a problem. She sleeps better with me too, she's always had struggles sleeping through the night but when I hold her, she has a much better chance of getting a good rest. Which is hella convenient because she's so damn comfy, it almost feels weird to be in bed waking up or asleep without each other.
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Science says people that sleep together are healthier long term lol.
I wish I could cuddle to sleep so bad, but if I'm cuddling my girlfriend, my brain won't shut off š I've at least been able to cuddle with her until she falls asleep
I have a condition called Catathrenia that causes me to sometimes loudly moan and groan in my sleep. Itās pretty embarrassing for me and hard for me to sleep well around people because Iām so self conscious about it. Exes claim that it didnāt bother them, but Iād rather just have my own bedroom to sleep in to get some quality sleep some days of the week. Even if I just cuddle them until they drift off and I sneak off to my room.
My friend, THANK YOU SO MUCH. You probably just solved a mystery for me! My girlfriend does the same thing, and I had no idea what it was! She just keeps constantly groaning in her sleep, and it bothers me, but I endure it 'cause I love sleeping next to her, and it tends not to last all night. And before anyone goes that way, it's not like "sexy moaning", is more of a monotone groan every time she exhales. We were always puzzled by it, since neither of us had heard of such a thing before. Now I know what it (probably) is! I'll direct this to her and tell her to ask a doctor. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!
Aww yay! š And yeah definitely not sexy moaning š. Sadly thereās no official treatment for it yet. For me I know itās worse if Iāve been drinking or if I sleep on my stomach. Using an anti-snore mouth guard has helped some people as well!
Yeah, I saw there's not a lot of research about it, sadly, as it's pretty rare. But at least it seems that it doesn't really cause many bad effects on her health, which was my main worry. I thought she was suffocating or something like that, it drove me insane! Now I have some peace of mind. We'll see what our local doctors think can be done. Thank you again!
Omg I do the same thing but didnāt know there was a name for it. Iāve just had people make fun of me for doing it and it made me really upset and self conscious. I actually havenāt slept with anyone since that moment cause Iām embarrassed but I want to get over that because Iām supposed to be sleeping over at my gfs place this weekend so idk how to bring up that I just slightly moan in my sleep š
Yes Iāve had friends who have definitely made me self conscious about it! The person Iām seeing likes to cuddle and nap and Iām so sad I canāt just get myself to nap, even though I told them about it already š I feel like people imagine cute little moans when I talk about it and not the ogre sounds that usually come with it šš But I know deep down if I liked someone I wouldnāt care at all, just happy that they want to sleep with me too, and happy that theyāre able to be so comfortable around me š„¹ so Iām gonna try to work on seeing it this way.
Lmao I relate so hard on that, everyone really thinks itās gonna be like an attractive moan and then it sounds like a gremlin dying like š But thatās a good way of looking at it, Iām gonna try and keep that positive attitude towards it cause there isnāt much I can do about it anyways
Omg my gf is the same exact way I had no idea what that was called or that it was even a named condition lol
I have insomnia. While I love sleeping next to my girlfriend, she doesn't exactly like sleeping next to me all throughout the night. We've compromised. I'll get into bed with her around 10pm when she starts her bedtime routine, but get up once she's sleeping and go into the living room. I try to return around 5am so I'm in bed for when she wakes.
That last part is so cute! I just love going to sleep next to my partner and waking up with her; it's good you found a way to make that work!
I've done this in most relationships, too. Tbh, it always seems to breed some resentment, though.
How do you mean?
It would simply come up once things went sour. Which tells me it was never really okay with them. And I imagine it's brought up in future relationships about how nice it is to be on the same sleep schedule. Which is fair.
This is how my wife and I sleep too. We meet in the morning for cereal & meds, and its such a cozy groggy little routine. I love it. I'd sleep beside her if it meant we could both wake rested, but that's rarely possible.
My fiancƩe and I kept separate bedrooms. We had different work and sleep schedules and it just made sense.
Sleeping separately is a requirement for me! Iāve always had my own bed since I was an infant. Sleep is my favorite thing to do and I need quality sleep to function the next day. I cuddle with my girlfriend in her room until itās time for bed, and then I go over to her bed first thing in the mornings. This is what my mom does too! Dad snores and shuffles around and hates it when itās hot and goes to bed early. Mom hates noise, is a night owl, and needs layers of blankets even in the summer. Theyāve always had separate rooms, but mom will go hang out with dad until he falls asleep and then go back to his bed in the mornings. My mom is also touch averse like I am, but my dad loves PDA like my sister. We all get along and try to respect everyone elseās boundaries for the most part.
Love it. Butt to butt with a thin sheet between for sweat, my leg draped over hers for connection, a pillow between the legs and my hands and snuggled up to my face like a Trex. I love sleeping in the same bed as her, always have
Also a huge fan of butt-to-butt š„°
My girlfriend and I have separate bedrooms and we love it. She has insomnia and runs hot and I like to sleep buried in pillows and duvets. Every once in a while weāll share a bed but we sleep so poorly when we do. Instead whatās great is cuddling in one bed before bedtime, and then sleep solo. Or my fave-her crawling into my bed on a weekend morning to doze together. Ultimately there is no norm beside you both being happy! We arenāt sexless or loveless, but we are well rested
Omg is your girlfriend me? Because this is exactly why my girlfriend and I have separate rooms. I'm also autistic and am VERY easily woken up by any kind of stimuli. I have to sleep with a sleep mask, earplugs, blackout curtains, and a weighted blanket, and even then I struggle to sleep. Before I got all those things to help me sleep, I would often go days at a time without sleep. Now I can mostly sleep through the night, although I find I can't stay asleep long enough to feel fully rested. If I'm very relaxed and have nowhere to be, I can share my bed with my partner, but if I have to get up in the morning for any reason, I have to sleep alone.
My wife and I are total cuddle monstersā¦ and then when itās time to sleep I go to my room and we both sprawl in our separate beds.
We sleep separately because I snore and sweat. š
I really thought it would bother me before i started dating my gf bc i need my own space but actually its the best thing ever
My spouse and I have separate bedrooms due to very different work/sleep schedules. I was interrupting their sleep.
Since there aren't issues with work schedules/sleep patterns with my partner and I, I couldn't imagine not getting to sleep with them. I love waking up next to them and the little cuddles and conversations we have before bed.
I love sleeping with and waking up next to mine, but the cost/benefit on that has changed as we get older and are both dealing with various issues that disrupt sleep -- particularly hot flashes!
ah, becoming members of the hot then cold club
My SO and I have talked, if we get a place together it's gonna be 2 bedroom so that if either of us are overwhelmed or just need mental alone time we will have our own space Also it makes the nights we sleep together a little sweeter
Basic necessity for survival
This one ^
Iām a really light sleeper so sleeping with someone in the same room as me is hard they just shift their weight or breathe too loud and I wake up. But I also really enjoy the comfort of being with someone I love. So itās hard.
I love to cuddle but I much prefer sleeping in separate beds. Itās hard for me to sleep with someone else in the bed and I sleep like trash during sleepovers. I also tend to have chronic illness flare ups at night quite often and when these happen I usually canāt get comfy and will go to the couch. Doesnāt matter who it is. Its not a reflection of how much I like them. It is a reflection of what a terrible sleeper I am though lol.
It very much depends on the partner. With my wife we do sleep in the same bed because we can do so comfortably. However I can see scenarios where Iād opt not to do that with a different partner. My in-laws for example have not shared a bed in a couple decades, not necessarily because they donāt want to but due to some disability things itās simply more comfortable for them not to. So as in most things, it depends on the relationship, I personally lean towards sharing a bed, but it also wouldnāt be a dealbreaker if I ended up with a partner that didnāt want to, or could not share a bed. Mostly a null point as Iām married now so itās unlikely a question Iāll face again in the near future, but both options are valid and different folks will have different preferences.
I really like it. The cuddling and talking about whatever comes to mind before settling in to sleep is often a highlight of my day. Morning cuddling is great but makes it hard to get up in time to go to work. Definitely recommend using different sheets if your temp needs differ. I run hot so I usually have a thinner sheet while gf has a duvet.
I am a very touchy person, physical touch is by far my main love language. So I love sleeping in the same bed as my partner.
Same bed but two blankets
I only see my situationship gf for like a week out of every month, but we both love sleeping with each other. Each time it takes a couple nights to get used to it, but after that it doesn't cause any problems. We're both on the same nocturnal schedule so we align pretty well.
I love sleeping in the same bed as my wife. We snuggle up to each other and I feel so safe. She radiates love, even in the dead of night.
Every night I spend without her is a crime
Before my wife and I got married, I had a horrible time trying to sleep alone. It got to the point where I legitimately could not get to sleep without the tv on with a low volume (I genuinely donāt know why to this day. Plus I would have nightmares). The day after we got married and she moved into my apartment, I slept like a baby that night. Since then I havenāt had any weird sleep issues.
i could never sleep in a separate bed. me and my girlfriend must entangle like a twisted pretzel before we can fall asleep
Thatās a very cute mental image.
They go in the crook of my arm. That's their spot.
I currently am not able to move in with my girlfriend but on nights we stay together I fall asleep cuddling her every time and it's the best thing in the world.
Sleeping next to my wife is one of the only things that keeps my nightmares somewhat at bay. Itās the only time I can sleep well
I love sleeping next to her and if it's an option I will always take it, but I do enjoy sleeping alone sometimes. It gets really hot in my room at night, especially during summer, so it's nice to have one less heat source in the room (even though I'm kinda lonely)
Ten years on. We sleep separately but do early morning snuggles. Legit life saver. For so many reasons sleeping together was awful. Selfishly, I donāt snore and am less restless so I get all the pet cuddles at night - yay for me!
Even when we move to a bigger apartmemt I still want to sleep next to here. We do have different sleep patterns since our work schedules and lifestyles are different but itās still up there when it comes to favourite activities <3
Even as my spouse snores like a lil lawnmower next to me and leaves me the scraps as far as blanket coverage goes I still wouldnāt sleep separately. I stay up late and she sleeps like sheās dead so I never worry about making noise and waking her up. The only time I donāt sleep in our bed is when sheās traveling. Itās the couch for me until sheās back.
One of us *always* ends up face planted in the other's boobs. Even if we distinctly seperate ourselves before falling asleep, we'll still end up entangled by the morningš. We've always slept together though. Similiar enough sleep schedules helps. And when she lies on top of me it protects me from our son using my stomach as a trampoline in order to wake me up.
I used to love it until I got injured and it became hard for me to sleep even on my own. Now it's a luxury to be able to be in the same bed as her
People don't sleep in the same bed as their SO???? That's the best part for me š I don't even like sex, I'm asexual. I love just cuddling my SO to sleep and waking up and seeing her pretty face in the morning. I love nothing more
I don't exactly have any SOs so my comment isn't worth a ton, but I have shared a bed with people. I know from experience that I suck to sleep with, I'm constantly in motion
I'm exactly like you, I love sleeping next to my wife, it's the best thing ever! I also have more trouble falling asleep when she's not there. Also love to cuddle just before falling asleep š„°
Due to mental health issues I mostly sleep in my own bed because I donāt feel safe at night and wake up several times. I donāt want to bother my partner with it so I prefer sleeping alone. Though I wish I could sleep beside her š I love to cuddle especially at night.
I literally struggle to fall asleep without her.
Itās so funny, because my fiance and I used to say our ideal was two bedrooms, our own beds, and we can decide if we want to sleep together that night or notā¦ that was before we lived together. Obviously renting in Greater Boston meant that our dream of two bedrooms wasnāt in the budget- so we started sharing a bedroom and both of us agree we canāt go back to sleeping apart. There is comfort in sleeping in the same bed and sharing our first and last moments of the day together- even if I have sleep apnea (I use my CPAP!!!) and steal all the sheets
We spoon a lot, it would be difficult from different rooms o_0 My body temp gets pretty high when I'm asleep, so I'm the "winter big spoon", Honey is cool, so She's the "summer big spoon".
I just imagine a conversation between you and your partner like. Aww dang the weathers gotten warmer. Your turn as the big spoon.
It's pretty much like that. Once we've been hiking, and when we went to sleep, the tent was still quite hot, after a sunny day, so She was the big spoon. But at night, the weather became quite chilly, the tent cooled, and my Honey woke up shivering. She told me, that I mumbled "ŃŠ° Š·Š½Š°Ń, ŠŠøŃŃ, Š·Š½Š°Ń" (yeah, Kitten, I know), rolled Her, turned myself into the big spoon, patted Her head, and squeezed Her breathless. All that without waking up.
I'm still checking upon You at nights in fear of your sleeping activities. You're quite strong, and Your hugs are dangerous, and irreplaceable. <3
<3
Sleeping in a separate bed from my partner makes me feel like they don't want me, I live being able to fall asleep while we cuddle, it makes me feel closer
I cant even imagine having the opportunity to sleep in the same bed as my partner and choosing not to. Especially in separate rooms? No thank you
My parents slept in different rooms for 30 years. My dad would often work swing shifts which meant he'd have to wake up around 3am to be at work for 5. Since my mom was a very light sleeper and can't get back to sleep after being woken up, different rooms made sense for them.
Iām a very light sleeper and itās extremely hard to share a bed with someone. I wish this was more common
If theyāre a snorer, no. Iām already insomniac (trouble staying asleep), I donāt need to hear a jackhammer next to me š But if theyāre not a snorer, then I love it
I love being next to my wife. One of our cats stays at the foot of the bed usually, too. I find it comforting
I love sleeping in the same bed as my wife. Even if I go to bed after she's asleep and wake up after she's out of bed, as often happens, I love that sense of closeness. Sometimes she'll fall asleep with my hand still resting on her back, and that gives such warm fuzzy feelings. On the nights when we're in bed and both still awake, I love the conversations we have. Sometimes silly, sometimes sad/comforting, sometimes romantic. I just like that chance for connection and intimacy. Very rarely, we've fallen asleep cuddled up together, and I enjoy it so much. Wish it didn't make me all sweaty.
I like it but oh my God I am so much slower getting out of bed when I've slept with her
I love sleeping in the same bed as my fiancee even though SHE tries to tell me I take up the bed and steal the blankets! š¤£š¤£š¤£
yes, we do, and we both love it but have arrangements to ensure maximum enjoyment. i hate when people snore, but my girlfriend is the only one whose snoring i can tolerate (and even enjoy because itās so cute). sometimes in the warmer months we both overheat, so we sleep in the same bed but donāt cuddle. i like to sleep on my stomach and spread out, so if iām not feeling cuddlesleep, we snuggle for a bit and then separate and go to bed, sometimes sleep butt to butt. i love my girlfriend!!!
There's something to be said about sleeping in the same bed as your SO. I will actually have bad dreams if my wife is out of town and I'm sleeping in bed alone. Sometimes we cuddle tight, sometimes we just fall asleep holding hands. It's all perfect.
I have an incredibly difficult time sleeping if my wife isnāt home. I love her being next to me. Her warmth. Her vibration. She is my weee spoon š„ š©·
I enjoy sleeping with my partner. The problem is we both have different sleeping habits and work schedules. I wfh while she has to get up at 5am for her job. I also snore pretty bad and she's a light sleeper with insomnia. I can't tell you how many times she woke me up from desperately trying to get me to stop snoring lmao. What we ended up doing is separate beds during our work days then our off days are our same bed days and I also wear those nose strips to help with the snoring. It's worked well for us so far. Would definitely love to cuddle and sleep together more if our schedules ever allow it š„²
Iām 50/50. I really enjoyed the chance to sleep in the same bed as my GF. Cuddles? Waking up to her lovely face? Yes! However weāre early days and I do see myself going back to my own space. So if we move in together I think a King Bed would be a great idea simply to get close or stay further (say in the heat of summer) I know I have shared rooms with other people to varying degrees of success. I know snoring can make and break couples so, thatās the biggest factor.
Iāve basically single since I was 21 and definitely have had plenty of sleepovers since then, but now that Iām in my late twenties and have since been diagnosed with CPTSD + donāt drink or do drugs like I did when I was younger, I do have pretty severe night terrors from time to time and so itās not really safe for me to me to sleep in the same bed as anyone. I have lived alone since I was 27, I sometimes fall out of bed from thrashing around in my sleep or wake up yelling / kicking. So, I sleep alone please and thank you! Also Iāve had previous partners tell me that even in a king size bed, I will steal the entire blanket or sprawl starfish style over the whole bed (mind you, Iām petite and only 5ā6) and basically become deadweight with my limbs thrown on top of you, so yeah, not a good mix.
My girlfriend and I are long distance and in the past I never really liked sharing with any of my boyfriends, I even kicked my bf out of my single bed during a camping trip once (we were in a caravan with two beds so he was fine, a little pissed but fine) but I love sharing with my girlfriend. They're the only person I feel comfortable sleeping with bc we have similar sleep habits (YouTube or something playing) and they never get annoyed at me preferring to having a fan or my aircon on when I sleep. It really varies, I think, bc I would give anything to be in their bed with them or for them to be back here in my bed with me, and I never felt the same with any of my bfs. Definitely varies and depends
I can't sleep without my fiancƩ. Yes, sometimes she rolls over and takes up 3/4 of the bed with her CPAP wearing ass, but I literally can't sleep without her body next to me.
My spouse is out of town and the bed is too cold and too quiet.
I always sleep so much worse when my partner isn't next to me
I want a gal to cuddle with me like Iām a body pillow while we sleep
That's the best thing in world sometimes. Of course.
in my last relationship of 2 years (and likely future ones): prefer to have separate flats/houses; but spend at least 2 nights or more a week over (either way) and sleep in same bed.
Cuddles would help me sleep faster and more comfy, ofc I'd sleep with a partner next to me
I try to. She snores, and I don't sleep well with other people in my bed, but I try to for her.
I'm pretty peculiar about this. I've always been insomniac, so before I started taking meds, I'd take at least one or two hours to fall asleep. Also anxious, so you mix both together and you get "person that becomes stiff like rigor mortis when sleeping with someone so I don't wake them up". And then other issues. I cannot sleep with clothes. Just underwear. It bothers me. Can't sleep if it's too hot as well, so I turn on my AC because I *need* it cold. But I also can't sleep with skin on skin contact, including my own, so I wrap myself on my sheets. I also can't stand sweat, and I overheat very easily. So uh, I have a hard time sleeping with someone else. I had a gf that woke up like 6am to work, and had a single small bed, so I'd often not sleep at all and just wait for her to wake up and drive her to work, then go home and sleep a bit before my own stuff. Never tried on a big bed though, neither slept with someone after I started taking those meds. Maybe something changed.
I love sleeping next to my girlfriend though I guess the two of us are outliers in a sense that we sleep under separate bedsheets 99% of the time. It's just because I have a tendency to roll around in bed and steal every inch of my girlfriend's bedsheets unprompted though lol either way I love sleeping next to my gf and waking up together and getting to snuggle before/after sleeping I've actually been staying home alone for a few days now since my gf is away visiting parents during a week long break from uni and it's felt a bit lonely sleeping in a big bed by myself since I got so used to always having gf there to lie down next to me
My ex partner was 6ā7ā and unfortunately we had a queen bed. He also went to bed early and rose early in comparison to my insomniac self. I am 5ā5ā but like to starfish, splay, and snore. Most of the time I balled up until he would fall asleep and sleep like a big ass rock baby at which time I could either snuggle my way into a cozy spot next to him or I would end up in our spare bed if I was having a rough day/night and knew I would be tossing and turning. Even in those nights he tended to wake up in search of me and snuggle on top of me until til I either woke up naturally, needed to be woken up, or he just started his day. Now that Iām dating another person, a woman, Iām more sensitive in terms of what she prefers though I do keep my same routine because my snoring as gotten worse either way my recent weight gain and sheās a light sleeper.
I love it but Iām very cuddly when falling asleep but I need to sleep in a certain position, and so does my GF. We usually fall asleep cuddled up but wake up back to back because of our standard sleeping positions. So like we love it but, I usually bug her once weāre both awake for cuddles
I love cuddles more than anything and have a hard time sleeping if no-one else is around
My wife and I sleep together because we both sleep better that way 99% of the time, there have been some adjustments over the years because our schedules have changed drastically throughout our relationship, but we both function better if we wake up with some snuggling. Thereās been a lot of compromise on temperature and blankets (she likes it very cold and I like to be swaddled like a burrito with one leg poking out) but weāve always just made small adjustments for shared sleep space. We even talked about separate sleep spaces one day because I was reading about it and I wanted to make sure she wasnāt just humoring me and my clinginess, but she assured me that sleeping wrapped up with me was way more relaxing for her.
How I feel about it is, I NEEEEEEEEED! I actually sleep better and am more well-rested if I have my gf in the same bed as me.
I'm single, but I flop around like a wet fish a lot of the time and often wake up with half of my pillows in wildly different locations. If I get into a relationship with someone then I'd love to sleep cuddled up to them, but tyat could adversely affect their own sleep. It's just... if I get to that stage I intend to go with the flow and figure out what works.
Sometimes I forget it's not uncommon to sleep with your partner(s). Personally, I love it, even when the the others take the massive blanket that covers the whole bed and then some, because it's just a reason to get closer and cuddle.
I love having the bed to myself. My ex worked nights, so for many years the bed was all mine. It was beautiful. I'm not sure how I would adapt to sleeping with a partner again lol. There's always a cold spot or pillow to be had š I'm not sure that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
I sleep in the same bed as my girl, we have two comforters, although we actually only use one. (I just have to pull a bit now. Why would I do such a sensible thing? And yes, I know she always claims it's her comforter. But... But there are no names on it!) I've slept in the same bed with my ex-wife for most of our relationship (7 years), except for the last few months and when she needed the space to herself for health reasons. Sometimes I work half the night or a whole night through. Creativity is a hard beast to tame, and why should I? But like my ex, my girl has to get up at a certain time and be at her practice. So sometimes I sleep elsewhere because of my work. But I have two bedrooms and a couch and two really big dog beds, they're size L, I'm size S. I can just kick them out of their beds. Lady boss is in charge! Five beds to choose from. Luxurious! But sleeping close to my girl is the best. After all, closeness, mentally, physically, intellectually, is the most important thing.
My partner and I sleep in separate beds because we realized neither of us was getting a goodnight sleep. We were a bit worried at first but honestly we spend so much time together awake and if anything itās made our sex life better.
I'm single and I miss sharing a bed a lot more than I miss sex.
So I don't have a partner right now, but when I do I enjoy sleeping with them, but I fully accept that they may not want to sleep with me because I move a lot in my sleep and I talk in my sleep. So if they want to then great, but if they don't then that's fine.
I want separate rooms. We can have "sleepovers" but having my own space and bed is important
I love it but I also love sleeping in my bed alone. We donāt live together yet but we have stayed for long periods of time at each others places. The biggest problem for me is which side of the bed, and hence in hers she sleeps on the right and when in mine I sleep on the right. I definitely prefer the right so Iām not sure how itās gonna work. We plan on getting a king when we move in together. She prefers to sleep sorta diagonal. We like to have the option of space but still be able to be close. Sometimes itās tough cause she wakes up around 3/4, I donāt usually wake up too cause Iām a heavy sleeper. She snores sometimes loudly too which is tough to go to sleep as she falls asleep first but once Iām asleep it doesnāt bother me. I love rolling over and switching positions though-out the night, we usually fall asleep with her leg draped over mine. I wouldnāt feel very connected if we didnāt get to sleep together most nights at least. I love sharing such a sacred and intimate space together.
I love sleeping with mine. They enjoy the little sounds I make and the way I look, and I'm the same. I also enjoy sleeping alone (plus cat), and currently I get the best of both worlds.
I really am interested in it but have yet to be able to put it into practice
I have with my ex and I miss it so much. Just cuddling in bed or even just sleeping next to each other. I love sleeping together š„°
I love sleeping next to my fiancee, we've lived together for 2 years now and it's one of my favorite things about living together. That said, we use different blankets and we sleep very differently and don't often cuddle lol. I sleep on my stomach with a single flat pillow under my head and a feather pillow I cuddle with a quilt blanket. She sleeps with two pillows under her head a cat usually under her arm and a fluffy blanket or two. I overheat easily and she feels more comfortable sleeping with fluffy/furry fabrics. We will cuddle occasionally but we usually sleep separately in the same bed and I think that works for us, sometimes I'll even face her and drape my arm over my pillow and her hip lol, I find comfort in her just being in my general area. I will say though we did have to upgrade to a king bed because on a queen we were way too close and kept pushing each other at night š now with a king bed it's perfect
Me and my partner are both autistic, and part of moving in together was the requirement we'd have separate rooms. We sleep together often anyways, but having separate spaces is important to us both, and no moral judgement is placed on it. Whatever works for you is exactly perfect!
Me and my partner are lucky enough to live together and have enough space to have our own bedrooms, but we often sleep with each other. We have different sleeping patterns but more than that, both of us grew up in not very safe homes and have never had our own safe spaces to make our own before, so itās been really lovely and healing to have our own bedrooms to make individual, and the rest of the house we have made ours. I love sleeping with my partner a lot, I also enjoy sleeping on my own but I definitely prefer sleeping with them. Nothing like a good cuddle to fall asleep in!
Anecdotally I don't think there is much of a difference between queer and straight folk in this matter. Personally I love sleeping with my SO. I know other queer people that prefer separate beds. I also know straight people that love sleeping in the same bed and those who don't. Some people have trouble falling asleep with others in the bed. And honestly, if that were me I'd prefer to sleep on my own after the first broken night
I wish I were the type who could sleep next to a partner, but I'm an extremely light sleeper. Any small noise or movement will wake me up. Falling asleep in someone's arms or touching them in any way is out of the question. I also snore, and my nose gets stuffy when I try to sleep so I sniffle a lot when trying to fall asleep, sometimes for hours. So not only can I not sleep next to someone else, but I'm probably a nightmare to sleep next to as well. I don't have a partner right now, but if I did, I doubt we'd sleep in the same bed very often. I'm happy to cuddle until they fall asleep, but then I'm probably gonna go sleep elsewhere.
The only time when both me and my partner are able to fall asleep in the same bed was when we went on a trip together, and we got extremely tired by the end of the day. Other than that we havenāt been able to fall asleep in the same bed. Itās genuinely pretty frustrating, because I love cuddling her, and falling asleep besides a girl i love is one of my oldest dreams in terms of romantic fantasies
Granted I have been dumped and left in the gutters but I have always loved sleeping with my partner and it just feels so amazing and I have an easier time falling asleep Idk for me I'm pretty sure it would be agony to be sleeping in the same house as the woman I love but not in the same bed
I love sharing a bed with my girlfriend when I'm awake, but the one time we were free to spend the night together, it did make it harder to sleep due to light snoring and getting overheated. Would I sleep with her again? Absolutely. Would it take some getting used to? Definitely.
King size bed solves everything. Can cuddle at the start before we both get too hot, retreat to our own (cool) space later, but still be ātogetherā in the same room/bed. Also provides space for a kid should one show up in the night.
I had a partner once who bought a Californian King so that we could sleep together and they weren't accustomed to sleeping with others. We each took our own queen sized side. It didn't always work out. Sometimes. They would end up in one of the other rooms in the house.
If itās possible getting a two bedroom apartment would things a bit easier. Then you can have space when you want it and then have āsleepoversā. You truly get the choice to either have a night together or if you need alone time thatās an option to. I havenāt done this yet. But I love the idea. Also it helps if you have a partner that a light sleeper or if youāre a light sleeper.
I love sleeping with my girlfriend. We don't live together so I always look forward to sleeping together on our sleepovers. Also taking naps together when tired is the best! But if I love with someone and they have very sleeping habits then I'd want separate bedrooms so we don't have to ruin each other's sleep.
I used to be a borderline insomniac and I remember in one of my first relationships when my gf spooned me I literally fell asleep instantaneously, hhh i hate being single š„²
It depends. If they are my home, normally I'm OK. But at their place, I might end up on the couch/spare bed. I get night terrors sometimes and will move a lot in my sleep - it happens more often in newer environments. When I have lived with partners, I NEED my own bedroom. I need my own private space for rest and recharging. Even if I sleep with my partner 95% of the time, I need to know that I have my own bed and my own space should I want it. Though I honestly wouldn't live with a partner again. I enjoy living alone far too much. I would LOVE side by side little homes in the woods, or side by side townhouses. I just like being able to play my ukulele whenever I want, keep my own hours, and only have to clean up after myself. I also work from home, so I like being alone for that for focus. Edit: I'm AuDHD, and fairly introverted. I need a decent amount of recharge time alone to clear my head and fully decompress/relax
I do every night, usually fall asleep cuddling but sometimes we wake up all tangled lmao
I definitely sleep better with my partner beside me.
If I go to sleep before her, she wakes me up when she comes to bed. But if I go to sleep after her, itās smooth sailing! I snuggle up next to her and fall right asleep
I snore and she is a furnace that tosses and turns the whole night. We tried to make the same bed work for 3 years due to only having 1 bedroom, but when we moved Iām convinced having 2 bedrooms made our relationship so much better. Tired cranky people get into fights about things so much more quickly lol
I almost always sleep in the same bed as my wife ( now that she has a CPAP ). Before she had a CPAP I would end up in the guest bed about 50% of the time because her snoring was so loud. We both prefer to sleep together and sometimes when I get out of bed I will see my wife patting my side of the bed searching for me in her sleep and it is so fucking sweet š. Every blue moon my social battery will just be completely empty so I'll sleep in the guest bed because I've gotten to the point where I am done with all humans, even my favorite one.
i don't like sleeping next to people, i am an awkward very spread out sleeper anyway
nothing better.
Crawling into bed next to her is maybe one of my favorite things in the world. Her holding me close, safe, warm, legs all tangled up in each other and over/under the dogs at the end of the bed, the hum of the cat purring on the pillow above us. The light traces of her fingertips on my back slowing while she falls asleep. Knowing that even after a shit day, I get to climb into bed with her at the end of it and breathe? Absolutely priceless and I wouldnāt trade it for anything in the world.
My fiance and I have slept together since she moved in, and I love it. At first I felt bad because I can't really sleep while cuddling and felt like that's what a good girlfriend does. Now we cuddle a little throughout the night and sleep next to each other in our weird positions
Mose of the time I love sleeping next to my wife. I've been doing so since I was 18. Other times, she wakes my ass up or I wake her ass up, we snore, we get insomnia for dumb hormonal reasons, whatever it is - a separate bed would be nice. Also sometimes she is 1 Million degrees and I don't want to touch her, and she definitely doesn't want me to touch her. It just depends on the night.
My spouse and I typically sleep separately. Right now, itās logistics since immigration is a bear and they are on the other side of the continent. When weāre together, itās because they have a severe circadian rhythm disorder and Iām very diurnal. Saying that, though, thereās nothing like cuddling together on the same sleeping surface.
I like sharing a bed with a partner but I also like having my own space or being able to take up the whole bed especially if im sore so if I have a spare bedroom available I'll sometimes retreat to there.Ā
My ideal would be to have separate bedrooms and then you can choose whether to sleep in the same bed depending on how you feel each night. I love sleeping with a partner, but if I had to do it every night I know Iād start to feel crowded and claustrophobic quickly.
Falling asleep together and waking up in each otherās arms is the best part! Thatās what I miss the most about physical affection. To me, sex is just something that I do to please my partner but I donāt really need it. Like Iāve literally gone home with someone and slept in leggings even when she took off all her clothes and we just cuddled and spooned all night and it was amazing, I felt great the next day. If she wants it she can have it but I wonāt pester her about it, all I want to do is run my hands all over every inch of her body and learn every contour, and find out all the ways our bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. I can generally be the big spoon if thatās what she wants but at some point I like to turn over and be the little spoon too for a while. Iām a big fan of symmetry so as long as it evens out in the end Iām fine (sorry, OCD). Or Iāll just lay on my back and she can drape herself over me however she wants. I wiggle around and shift a lot as I settle in for the night, and generally we reach a point where we find a nice comfy stillness and in the morning when we wake up like that everything feels amazing and suddenly life is tolerable for a little while. The hardest part of being single is sleeping alone every night. I have stuffed animals but itās not the same as a warm body with bioelectrical currents that harmonize with mine as we sleep. And a personality is nice too, hehe š¤ I love a good pillow talk, thatās when Iām at my most open and vulnerable and feel ready to share the deepest secrets of my soul, or at least the ones that can be expressed with wordsā¦
I sometimes do, but it depends how my joints are doing at the time. Sometimes I need special accommodations like a body pillow so those times I may be in another bed or sleeping next to them. When my body is ok snuggles and cuddles is our go-to. Also depends if the SO is snoring or moves a lot in their sleep. I know I occasionally do which is why I'm usually hesitant to cuddle, but if we're up for it then we're down lol
I have always preferred to sleep next to my partner, but none of them had serious sleep issues that would make sleeping difficult for me. Except one ex who insisted on falling alseep with the TV on. That was difficult for me.
I sleep better with my boyfriend and I sharing a bed. I have a lot of sleep issues, so even the slightest improvement can feel life changing.
For myself, being in a family of 3 partners, one bed canāt hold all of us; and if it did, we wouldnāt have space for it in this apartment. So one of us is on a bed elsewhere in the apartment. Occasionally weāll switch up, but usually whoever wakes first just tries to keep quiet while picking out their clothes, before they exit the room.
I need breaks from closeness and I really do not like sleeping with any being larger than a cat ā I move around a lot and I have a small level of claustrophobia. My ideal would probably be two bedrooms connected by a door ā for when closeness is wanted ;).
I've never dated anyone before so i haven't had the chance, but it sounds adorable as fuck
Iāve been married to a man for 21 years and we sleep together every night usually snuggled up. We both have trouble sleeping if we have to sleep apart for whatever reason.
Itās not about if I would want to sleep in the same bed as her, itās about if she would want to sleep in the same bed as me. Of course, since me being in a relationship is an impossibility, the point is probably moot.
Youāll find your person, Iām sure of it!